Today, we've got the incredible Jess DeRose on board, and let me tell you, her energy, heart, and purpose are all ablaze! From being a celebrity personal trainer and elementary school teacher to turning her 'cute' side hustle into a multimillion-dollar business, Jess's journey is pure inspiration.
Picture this: Jess bids farewell to her teaching job in 2017, and in no time, she's built a rockstar team of heart-centered leaders and served hundreds of clients, raking in a whopping 20 million in revenue! In this episode, we're talking about serious business and life strategies, including her secret sauce for balancing family and running a thriving enterprise. Jess started her business without any formal background in the biz world and you can too!
But it's not all rainbows and sunshine. We dive into Jess's real-life challenges, how she navigates the world of Instagram versus reality, and the priceless lessons she's learned from her business boo-boos. This episode is a goldmine of wisdom, and you're in for a treat!
Part one is right here on Momma Has Goals, and you can catch part two on Jess's podcast, The Digital Business Evolution.
What you'll hear in this episode:
[3:10] Balancing business success with family and community.
[10:45] Tightening your belt on your time.
[13:25] Learning curves when her partner Mike stepped into the business.
[18:50] The importance of anointing yourself.
[22:15] Work on yourself first.
[26:00] Being a leader is not the same as people following you.
[31:30] Investing in yourself as an adult.
[35:10] The turning point in her life.
[38:45] How she found out she was pregnant.
[43:30] Sharing on social media with boundaries.
[54:00] The importance of taking a mental vacation.
CONNECT WITH JESS
Follow Jess: @iamjessicaderose
Check out The Digital Business Evolution Podcast
Learn more about Jess's amazing services on her website: https://www.jessglazer.com/
CONNECT WITH KELSEY
Follow Kelsey: @thisiskelseysmith
Follow Momma Has Goals: @mommahasgoals
Learn more at https://thisiskelseysmith.com/
Use the code Kelsey for $50 off your ticket to EmpowerHER Live: https://www.kaciaghetmiri.com/empowerher-live
Join our text list. Text "Goals" to (707) 347-0319
Speaker 1 0:00business, or the hundreds and:
Kelsey Smith 0:52e leaving her teaching job in:
Speaker 1 4:57
What an intro I'm like I know my art But you're sweating I got I got big shoes to fill after you said that I want that on repeat when I wake up in the morning, I adore you. And I appreciate you so much for all the kind words, but more so just being here. So we could turn this into a love fest. But I'm sure whoever's listening wants to get to the dark side.
Kelsey Smith 5:13
But it is important to know that while we're going to talk about life and business strategy today, this person can fellowship and back it up. And something that I admire most about you outside of that intro is how you balance this big business success alongside family and on a mama house goals, podcast and community. We're all about building a life that aligns with our family, because otherwise, what are we doing it for? And not only do you have this business, that you have to be a part of it, but you also have moved away from most your family. So I would love for you to talk a little bit about how do you prioritize family and building a business and a life that allows you to kind of do what you want, and see those people and bring them along for the journey and do your own thing at the same time?
Speaker 1 5:59or actually rewind real quick: Kelsey Smith:
And I know for some people listening, they're gonna say 14 hour workdays like how in the world would I be able to do that as a mom? And you and I both know that it is possible. And there are people that do it. So how would you speak to that person to say, like you said, it's robbing Peter to pay Paul, there's choices, there's a way to do things. How would you talk about creating flexibility building a business alongside your life for someone's like, I can't work 14 hour days all the time in that way?:
Yeah, the most important thing is knowing yourself, right? Awareness is key in any capacity. So that might not be realistic for where you're at this very moment. It doesn't mean it's not possible. But your expectation is going to equal the experience that you have. So just be a little bit more realistic. And could you give yourself a little bit more time? Could you give yourself a little bit more space? And what would it look like if you carved out half hour a day? Or you started to habit stack and multitask? So I know, you might not like this idea. But if you're someone who gets a pedicure for set, like let's say you're getting a pedicure, could you actually multitask? If you wanted to, and maybe you're now you know, on social media, creating a post while you're getting a pedicure, or maybe you're responding to emails while you're doing something like that. If you're listening, and you're like, Absolutely not, because that's my me time and I don't want to be plugged in, just know that that is a choice and be okay with that. I'm not saying one is better, or you're wrong. It's just like, Okay, well, you could do it. And if you don't want to, you don't have to. But I do believe I'm not going to say that, you know, everybody's got the same thing, the opportunities and 24 hours in a day. At the end of the day, though, there are probably areas if you wanted to that you could tighten the belt on your time. And I get it, we're currently binging a show on Netflix and like I like to watch a Netflix show after dinner at night. But the reality of it also is that can easily get pushed aside for a small amount of time. And it's kind of when people say like temporary discomfort for, you know, ultimate pleasure. And it's like, well, what would it look like if for one month for four weeks, I don't watch the show after dinner. But instead, I give 20 minutes to working on my side hustle. So I think there are definitely things that you could do if you want to. But I think most importantly, it's extending your timeline. It's these unrealistic timelines that we put on ourselves that it needs to be done right now and built today and successful tomorrow, where this pressure gets built up. And all of a sudden, it's like this overwhelm, and then you become paralyzed by it. And the reality is, you might just not have the time in this season that you're in right now. So why don't you give yourself a little bit of grace be okay with that. And instead, what could it look like in this particular season. The other thing I would say too, is learning from people who have done it or plugging yourself into whether it's a course a mastermind, a program, reading a book listening to a podcast, and you don't have to spend money on this stuff. But what that does, like this podcast is it collapses, the amount of time that it's going to take you to get from point A to point B, because maybe Kelsey is already done it or guests that she's had on has done it. And so you're essentially learning what took somebody months or years in 20 minutes on a podcast. And so can you listen to a podcast while you're doing your laundry or driving your kids to school. And then at least you're sort of consuming that information and ideating and maybe you can implement in a later season, or slower?Kelsey Smith:
Yeah, in preparing that information. And what I love about podcasts, and even the guests that you bring on yours is it allows you to see yourself in so many different people because we are all so different. We all have so many different backgrounds and foundations of which we've built our life upon. And one thing that I noticed in our community is people saying, well, my partner is this and my partner's doing that. And how are they going to understand? And what I love is you now have Mike as your husband is a part of your business. But he wasn't always he was off building his own career, what has that looked like in the past versus what is look like now, and especially specifically for him maybe not understanding your world.:
We never had goals that was never like the vision that I'd retire him from corporate one day. It was never the discussion that we were going to work together one day and be entrepreneurs or anything like that. I was a schoolteacher. I worked as an elementary school phys ed teacher for eight years, we lived in New Jersey. We were completely house poor living paycheck to paycheck, he commuted to New York City in a suit and tie every day and we were living the quote unquote American dream, right? Like literally that was it and he was three hours a day commuting back and forth. And that is just what we thought our life would be. And it wasn't until years after I had taken the LEAP so I left my secure and stable job in 2017 to go all in on what was at the time my quote unquote cute side hustle is what I call it. So in 2012 I started this side hustle not thinking it was ever going to be anything. It was just I got home at 325 he got home at 930 I needed to fill my time I'm a doer and I like to educate and serve. And so I was doing all these things online, just to try to help make ends meet, like a little bit of money here and there. And it was just fun and fulfilling. So when I left my job in 2017, there was no thought or discussion of him coming into the business. And then it was in 2020, where the world got turned upside down. And it to me felt like we had all been living inside of a snow globe where the snow had settled. And then it was like somebody shook the snow globe. And everyone kind of started questioning, like, what am I doing? Do I even like this, like my day to day, my partner my life where I live, and that happened to us, too. And when we started to question all of these things, that's when it was first like, wait a minute, Crazy, Stupid idea time. If you left your job and came and worked with me, then we can live anywhere. And now invite in the RV. Like that's literally how the RV started. Because then the question was, where do we want to live. And then we're like, Let's go tour the country with an RV and see where we want to live. So it sort of happened organically. And if I'm being honest, I don't know that we thought it was going to be the be all end all. Like, I think we still thought it was a season or we're like, Alright, let's get through this weird time. Let's RV you can work with me. And then maybe you'll we assumed we were gonna go back to New Jersey and New York, and maybe you'll go back into your job, like I don't know, it just wasn't really a thing. And when he first stepped into the business, there was a big learning curve. And we went from working separately. I'm a full time entrepreneur for a couple years by myself. He's got his corporate gig where he's really doing so well. And all of a sudden, now we're living in 300 square feet, in a bus together, working together on a business that he ultimately didn't really know much about. He saw the revenue, you know, and he was seeing me on coaching calls, but he didn't necessarily know the ins and outs, and I had been in masterminds for years at that point, flying across the country, going to masterminds courses, coaching programs, so he was always supportive of it, but he didn't necessarily know it. And it took probably a year for him to really I also had a team already. So he was integrating into a full team, and the business and the platforms and really understanding digital marketing. And there was a big learning curve from just our whole life got flipped upside down. And it it took a couple difficult conversations and a lot of discomfort for us to grow into where we are today. And now I can't imagine him not being a part of it. And you know, what we've been able to build together. And it really is ours. Now it's no longer just mine. But it was an organic kind of thing. And we've just been really open to what it could turn into when he first came into the business, we thought he was going to be the integrator, which is like the CEO, because that's more of what he was doing in corporate it was very managerial. But when we started to kind of give him those tasks we were learning, he doesn't actually like those things. He just had to do them in corporate. And so he's more visionary. And now he's a head of a completely different department in the company and someone else is to see Oh, and it was like the best thing we could do for our organizational chart. So he didn't even end up doing the job that he initially came in to do, which is interesting. So we've just had to be really open and flexible to kind of just navigate it as we go.Kelsey Smith:
I love that. And what about the very beginning stages when you're like, Hey, I'm going to do this thing, or I'm going to make this large investment for this mastermind. I managed to do this. And he's like, Yeah, I mean, I don't really understand. So the:
first coaching investment I made was in 2014, it was my first business coach. And again, I'm like a full time teacher, I'm not leaving my job. It's just this cute side, hustle. And I invested in a coach, it was $1,500. And like, I just didn't really have the money, my parents actually lent it to me which I was like 30 or something at the time 31. And my parents loaned me $1,500. And he was supportive, because he saw something in me that I didn't. And I know a lot of people don't have that. So I'm super grateful to have a supportive spouse, he actually was sort of encouraging me to go do stuff, he just saw something that I didn't. So we were so scared. But thank goodness for my parents super grateful that they were able to do that, because they also saw something where they were like, this is a good investment, we can see that this is going to this is going to pay off in the end. And that was 2012. And eight years later, I wrote a check to my dad to help him retire at 70 something years old. So it certainly did you know, pay off in that sense. But yeah, that's not everybody's story. And so what I would say to the person listening who's like, must be nice, like your parents who helped you and who are supportive and a husband who is supportive. There's this idea of anointing yourself, right. And I had a coach back in 2015 or so I had wanted to speak on stages. And it was one of those things where you're like, I want to be a waitress or a bartender and you go in and you apply and they're like, We don't hire anybody without experience. And you're like, you're the fourth restaurant to say that, like, how am I supposed to get a job if no one will give me a job without experience. And so similarly, I felt that way with speaking I'm like, I want to speak on stages, but people want be role me speaking on stages. And so my coach at the time said, Build Your Own stage. And so that's exactly what I did. I built a stage and I had 250 women come to an event where I built a stage and I got a videographer and I created my own V roll. So if you're not finding that your spouse, your partner, your parents, your siblings are supportive. Can you number one, just put enough into yourself like anointing yourself? That is possible. But number two, can you find those people like in mama has goals, right? Like, can you find those communities, whether they're free or paid where there are going to be other people that can be expanders for you to show you what's possible, where they're going to support you where they're going to help you out. And whether it's gifting you something or bartering with you, or just being there to talk, right to have someone who's like minded to talk, you can't put a price tag on that stuff. And so I'm so grateful for the help that I had. And I also was busting my butt. And if we go back to when I first left my job in 2017, I thought I was going to be the next Jillian Michaels, I was a personal trainer, I'd been a trainer for 15 years, and I was training celebrities. That's what I wanted, it was like I'm going to be the next TV fitness person. And so for about four months, when I had given my principal, notice that I was leaving, that was my last year teaching until the end of the school year, two or three times a week, I would take the train from New Jersey into New York City, I would pay $40 to go to a pop up fitness class at some new bougie studio, I didn't know anybody who is on a school night, I would take the class or $40. And I would take the train all the way back home. And I get home at like 11 o'clock at night. And I would do this to three times a week. And I'm saying this because this is a situation where again, I was building my own stage, when we ended up leaving New Jersey and moving into New York City. And I had quit the teaching job and I was gonna go all in on fitness. I already had a reputation and a brand presence there. I had friends there, I'd been showing up at studios there. I did the work ahead of time, nobody was coming to save me. And so while I got the help of my parents financially and the help of my husband with the support, I still had to do the work. And when I did it paid off dividends because the second we moved to New York, I had gyms asking me to work there. And they had no idea we didn't even live there. They were like, wait, what do you just moved here? And I'm like, Yeah, I've just been inserting myself and the amount of people that I reached out to I mean, this was the wild wild west of Instagram, it was like 2015 2014 The amount of people that I reached out to on Instagram or like, do you wanna be friends? Can I take you out for coffee? Like I made all the mistakes, I did all the things. I took my shot over and over and over and over again. And I wouldn't be here if I hadn't done that all all of those things.Kelsey Smith:
Yeah, I have spoke so many times about how sending the random message or going to the random coffee meetup how I would say 90% of the time is 10 times worth it, and definitely should do it. Um, with that I remember when I started my business, and I started reaching out to these random people on Instagram, like, what do you do? How do you make money? What does that look like? Why are you just posting like quotes on Instagram, I had so many questions. And part of what I learned was the very first thing you need to do is work on yourself. There's this business and life strategy. And then there's the mindset portion of it as well. And when people would tell me, the best thing you can do for your business is work on yourself, I would be like, I'm good. Like, everything's good. I don't know what you're talking about. And I know like, through and through, you are so much business strategy. But I would love to know, what are some of the biggest things that have made the impact on how you worked on yourself first, and communication and relationships and how you show up as a leader?:
This is a great question. So the name of my company is digital business evolution, because I believe that you're always evolving and growing. And your business is a reflection of you and your growth. And so as we're constantly evolving as a human, our business is also naturally going to evolve. And I'm very mindful of the word Pivot. Pivot has like this negative connotation. So I really see it as an evolution because you're stepping into a version of yourself that you ultimately are meant to be right you just haven't been there yet. When you say mindset first I say mindset always. Right. And so it's never not happening. There is mindset work all the time every day as a leader now versus where I was as a solopreneur. I am dealing with more mindset. Now I'm dealing with more, quote unquote, putting out fires, managing people emotions, hiring, firing, scaling, difficult conversations, communication. So it is a constant work in mindset. And it's an everyday thing. And the way that I see it, because so many of our clients are sort of at the beginning stages, the beginning stages of business most people come up against, like limiting belief, right? Imposter syndrome, self doubt, which it's not a syndrome, you're not sick, it's not disease, you just feel like a beginner. It's just beginner's mindset. You haven't done it yet. So once you've done it, once, you're no longer beginner, you might not be an expert, but you're no longer beginner. And so the readiness that we feel, or we think we're gonna feel is an illusion. The only way to feel ready is by doing so we talk all the time, but the ABC method action breeds confidence, right? Action breeds clarity. Once you do it once you've no longer can say that you've never done it before. And so with reps it gets easier over time so a lot of times the beginning stages it's kind of am I good enough the worthiness are people gonna listen to me What if people reject me? What if this what if that as you grow though, there's this quote that people say all the time, new levels, new devils, While I don't necessarily fully believe it, I do in the sense that if there's going to be a challenge at every level, there's going to be a mindset block. And every level and the mindset blocks might change. So I don't necessarily think twice about going on Instagram Live, and me messing up, or who's going to be there, or what if I get rejected, or I'm not wearing makeup like I truly don't, it does not even faze me. But I had to put out a pretty hefty fire this morning in the company. And it was a really difficult conversation. And not only did I have to I get to it's, it's a gift that I can, but I not only went through that, and then expected minutes later to show up on a call acting like nothing happened, right, or being able to like pour back into my clients and sort of keep it as neutral. And so the strength, the muscle that I've been really flexing, as I've scaled the company, is tightening my boundaries is saying no more, right. Like the quickest way to build a business is to say, yes, the quickest way to scale a business is to say no. So it's flexing the boundaries, it's flexing the no muscle. And it's really understanding. Leadership has a huge responsibility that nobody's talking about being a leader is not the same thing as people following you. And I'm talking about social media, like someone following you does not make you a leader you posting on Instagram does not make you a business owner. There's two different things and I'm not throwing shade, it's just like, you could post on Instagram doesn't mean you have a business. Even if that one post makes you money, you don't necessarily have a business structure. You've monetized that thing. And so like if you wanted to build that out, what would that looked like over time? And for a lot of people, it's a rude awakening myself included, where you kind of get to this level, one day you look around, you're like, wait a minute, I'm not even necessarily doing the thing that I like to do. How did I get here? I'm so far the gap has gotten so big now between the daily showing up of doing content and coaching people, and now I'm like managing a team and doing administrative stuff and putting out fires and having meetings. And it's like, is that even what I wanted? And that goes back to your original conversation or question of build your business around your life, not your life and your business. And so really sit with that. What does that look like? Maybe you don't want that maybe, maybe you really just want to be coaching, maybe you want to hire people to do the other things. Maybe you want to be an intrapreneur where you're working in someone else's business, but you're not responsible for all the bells and the whistles of what actually running a business looks like. And that has been a couple of years of just kind of like seesaw playing in that, you know, sandbox for me of like, is this what I want. And this is so interesting, I'm on the business more than I'm in the business where I used to be in the business a lot. And I never had space or time to be on the business. And they're just different hats that you're wearing. Yeah.Kelsey Smith:
And something I hear a lot is why didn't have that business background. And we've already talked about how you came from thinking that you were going to be in the fitness world. And you were and had so much success there. I'd love for you to talk a little bit about that. And prior to that was teaching, how did that transition look with you just learning the actual strategy that you now teach, and also believing in yourself enough to be able to move forward:
each time Oh, man, I have totally felt that imposter so many times. I went to college for my doctorate of physical therapy, graduated with like a BS in kinesiology went to grad school dropped out of grad school. My first year I was like, I don't want to be a doctor anymore. I ended up going to fashion school went to Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City for accessory design was selling accessories. Then I was working full time as a personal trainer while I was trying to figure my life out at a quarter life crisis, taught elementary school phys ed for eight years. And all in ended up doing 18 years as a trainer. And it was always like a side gig. I have never taken a formal business class in my life. I've taken a lot of classes, a lot of marketing, a lot of courses, a lot of masterminds, but when it comes down to it, I do not have any sort of business degree. And that's been something that has, you know, I've sat with that before maybe has bothered me, but like Tony Robbins says, I have a PhD in results. And I do. And I say that humbly, but also with truth. So whether it's the results that I've gotten in my business, or the hundreds and 1000s of clients that we've worked with who've been able to not just make money, I don't care if you can make money, I want you to build a machine that makes you money, like anyone can teach anyone to make money on Instagram. I want you to build a machine that makes you money. So that if you can't show up for work, which I had something that took me out last year, we can talk about it. Eight weeks, it took me out unexpectedly, and I was out of work and the business kept running. That's the type of business that I want to teach people how to do right how to build. So for me, I've definitely come up against that feeling of like, oh my gosh, I don't have this business background. Where did I learn it? Oh my gosh, the amount of podcast hours I've been listening to over the last decade. Keep in mind I'm an OG like I'm a grandma in this industry. If you've been in the coaching digital marketing space for like a year or two, you're considered to be like a vet. And I've been in 11 years and so 11 years I've been posting consistently daily on different social media platforms, blogging, selling $79, ebooks, running fitness programs, group things, free things, paid things in person retreats, you name it, I really have done all that high ticket low ticket and everything in between. So I've learned from experience I've learned from making some pretty embarrassing mistakes. I've learned from having success. I've learned from tracking metrics, you cannot grow what you cannot measure. So we take very seriously the metrics because math is the path and we measure everything in the business. And I've been investing in mentors paid mentors since 2014. But I don't believe that mentors have to be paid. Like I've never formally, I'll just use his name. Aside from going to his event every year, Lewis Howes love Lewis, I've never formally paid Lewis for like a business coaching program, or a mastermind. But for seven years, I did not miss a podcast he put out, like, did not miss a piece of content he put out. And this was back in the day where we, I'd be DMing with him, like it was actually him, and we'd be DMing. And so I see a mentor, someone who just you're learning from them, they're an expander. For you, you're consuming what they're doing. You don't necessarily have to pay them or be in a container. But the amount of mentors that I've had paid and free podcasts or books that I've read courses, masterminds, I mean, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of 1000s of dollars at this point, you know, we continue to invest we have a mastermind again this year, as we always are, we're never not with a coach or mentor. And we also have experts on the team that we outsource different things to, and you're listening to like chapter 20. Right now, this is not my chapter one, do not compare yourself to what it looks like today. I didn't have all of these things. Last year, three years ago, five years ago, seven years ago, it's like this is a culmination of 11 years.Kelsey Smith:
Yeah. And I think for me, when I first like realized, oh, this investment in myself in business is different than maybe our corporate classes or different things. It reminded me and I love that you bring up the mentorship that isn't always paid. Like when we step into parenting, we go to some of the free classes, we learn how to breathe, we learn from someone, hey, what diaper bag did you put on your registry? How do I put my car see in some of that is just asking questions or sending a text. And then sometimes we go and we look for a family therapist, we pay for private school, we pay for private lessons for our kids, we look for the next level when we're ready for it and need it. And sometimes that seems totally normal. And we have someone come and help and clean our house, or we look for support. But for some reason, it's not normal to invest in yourself as a person or to say, oh, I need support in my business beyond payroll, where bookkeeping. And in this world, it's very normal, you know, you support so many people and that but if it's new to you, it's okay for it to be now, somewhere along your background, there wasn't someone that ever paid to have someone clean their house, there was someone that first went, Hey, I need to outsource this, I have more going on. So allowing yourself to invest in yourself is not always the easiest thing. But it is so so important. And sometimes it takes life knocking you down to realize, hey, I need to do something differently. And I heard you speak on a stage once that talked about the many times you've been knocked down. And the times that you had to slow down and be like, oh, and for those that have listened to my story, it took me also waking up in the hospital to be like, Oh, hey, I'd also love to unpack the most recent because it was, as you said, this moment of Instagram versus reality. And while you had built that machine, because you are a business genius, to be able to allow you to choose, am I going to go and normal life as much as I can throughout this? Or am I going to pause? I would love to unpack what that decision look like. And also just how that kind of rocked reality for you for a little bit. Yeah.:
Oh, man. Well, the first thing I want to say just real quick is like the theme of anointing yourself to write when we're talking about finding a mentor and investing also, just keep in mind because you're gonna get this we have so many moms on here. We put our kids into sports, we put them into theater, we put them into arts and crafts, right? We want them to get connected to like minded people. So we take that one step further. We put them in the room, get them in front of those friends, and then we become adults. And nobody does it for us. Nobody's our advocate when you're an adult. So for me whether it's paid or unpaid, I want to put myself in the rooms if I like soccer, I want to go to soccer. If I want to learn business, I want to go to business. So just just to remove like this taboo or this pressure. The only thing that's happening right now as an adult is I am being my own advocate to put myself in the rooms with the other kids who are interested in the same thing that I am that's it that's it okay. Roadblocks challenges aha moments, man, I've had so many I don't need to go through all of them. I think some of the biggest ones. I'd say the biggest one because it was probably the first time that I removed my ego. And a dear friend of mine always says egos your biggest overhead and will cost you the most right thinking that you know everything asking for help. The very first time I removed my ego and I asked for help that I can remember in my adult life. I was a junior in college and I've been struggling with an eating disorder for about eight years. Really Apple bulimia addiction to pills, diet pills, laxatives, fat burners, just everything I could get my hands on. And I was just so incredibly sick. I had two interventions with my roommates, I have, of course denied everything. And I ended up finally one day waking up, not because I was like, I'm ready, it was more like, I can't do this anymore. Like, this is just exhausting. So I checked myself into an outpatient therapy program, and it ended up saving my life. And so that was my first sort of breadcrumb as to like, oh, when you remove your ego, and you ask for help, and you say that you don't know how to do something by yourself, it saved my life. And then it wasn't until many many, many years later in, probably in while I was teaching, it happened again. And then as you know, as an entrepreneur, it happened again, but there were these tiny little breadcrumb moments where another moment that I had this is now years later, I'm a full time entrepreneur. And I was battling breast cancer scare, and adrenal fatigue and complete burnout. And I had essentially done it to myself, just like overworking, overstressed, overwhelmed, just awful. And I remember, Mike came home from work, and I was sitting on the apartment floor, on my knees, just crying. And he was a matter What's the matter, and I was basically, I think I'd either just gotten the phone call, or I was waiting for the phone call from the doctor about the lab results, just crying like thank God, it wasn't what we thought it was going to be. And he said something in the moment, that changed a lot for me. Now, in hindsight, having the conversation with him, this is not what he meant. But I received what I needed. And so he had said something in passing, like you did this to yourself. Now the way that I received it, he's not a jerk, I promise, the way that I received it in the moment was that I did this to myself, like I drove myself into the burnout into the grind into the thing to make myself physically sick. And it wasn't the first time that I had done it. And so it was in that moment, again, where it was like, dude, nothing changes, if nothing changes, like you got to fix this. And then there have been many moments. And he totally did not say that, like we found out way after, but that's what I received. And then there have been so many other times in my life or in my business. And for me, it's always helped. It's always health. It's an injury, it's something that knocks me off my feet, I need a surgery, I've had a lot of surgeries, unfortunately, I'm a college gymnast, so lots of surgeries. But it's always something that takes me out physically. And it's kind of that thing I remember, as a kid Oprah used to say, like, I remember saying one time, like the universe gives you like a little whisper. And if you don't listen, it gets a little louder. And then it's like a nudge on the shoulder. And then it's like an elbow to the Europe side. And then like a walk over your head and a brick, like slamming you down. And so for me, it's always my health, where I get like a little whisper and I don't listen. And then it's like a little louder, and I don't listen, it gets a little louder, and then it takes me out. And I'm talking to ankle surgeries, two stents in wheelchairs, like there have just been so many times I've been taken out. And it's in those moments for me think I've learned by now like at 40 years old, grow up, right. But it's in those moments where I'm like, oh, I need to slow down. Oh, I need to reassess how I'm approaching this, oh, I need to restructure my business. So the most recent one that really did take me out, aside from the broken finger for the last eight weeks, which was really annoying. Back in September of last year, we ended up having an ectopic pregnancy. And for those who don't know what that is, it's basically the embryo was growing inside of my fallopian tube, which is non viable pregnancy. And they had to obviously remove the embryo as well as my tube. So I lost my right Philippian tube. But the interesting thing was, we did not know we were pregnant. We had, I guess you could say been trying it was the first month that we were like, Yeah, let's just like see what happens. Let's let's give it a shot. Intuitively, intuitively, I knew I was pregnant, but I had not tested because we'll go there. But when I started bleeding was when I should have had my period. So I just didn't think anything of it. After 6789 10 days of bleeding, and it got progressively worse, I was like something is wrong. So I had called over to the OB. And she basically said, you know, this is the protocol, if this happens, go to the ER, but we're gonna get you in here on a Monday and this was on a Friday. This wasn't just a regular Friday. This was a Friday during our live launch. So the way that we run our business is our signature program. We do a massive live launch, where we have 1000s and 1000s of people that come to this three part live sort of webinar series. So there's three big parts where there's these big two hour trainings. And then every day in between for 10 days, there are other trainings. So I'm on for 13 days in a row. This is day two of day 13. We've been working for seven months on this launch. This is our big program. It's the meat and potatoes of our revenue. We've got affiliates, we're running ad money, like it's a Super Bowl for us, right? Yeah. So I wake up on day two, and now it's Saturday. And all of the things that she said to watch out for are happening. And so we went to the hospital. And when we checked in like long story short, nurse comes back and immediately after blood tests and everything she said, Oh well, I'm so sorry. As you guys know you're pregnant. And it's not viable. And Mike and I looked at each other, and we were like, that is very new information. Like I did not know that I was pregnant. I was six weeks. And at the time, she was like, it's probably a miscarriage. And so let's navigate. And within a couple hours, they wanted to do some more testing. And so after some other testing, they had done like an ultrasound, and they were like, yet we can't find anything. But based on your HTC levels, while you are still pregnant, and the amount that you've been bleeding, you are miscarrying. Something's going on, we have to go in and do surgery, it has to be exploratory. And I'm like, I do not have time for this. I have a training tomorrow. I'm literally like sitting at the hospital, like eating pretzels on the bed, because I'm not thinking that it's going to be anything. Yeah. And so we really didn't have time to process any of it. The fact that we were pregnant, the fact that like, all of a sudden this was happening, it wasn't viable. And so within just hours of first getting to the hospital, I was wheeled into surgery for exploratory surgery, they ended up finding that it was like topic removed, the baby removed the two. And I basically woke up and looked at the doctor and was just like, what happened, and she told me what happened. And I was so angry. I was so angry, callous, like, I wasn't even sad yet. Like I wasn't ready for and I hadn't processed that I had been pregnant and that there was a loss. It was like, I was just so angry. You took my two. I know I signed the papers, and like thank you for saving my life. But you had the audacity, right? And like I was just so angry, and went home that night and had to make a really difficult decision of do we continue with the launch? Or do we not? And I gave myself until the next day to make the call and tell the team what I was going to do. And it was my choice to continue with the launch. We didn't need to financially but my number one core value as a human and with my company's integrity, and it just felt weird to shut it down after we had already started it had we not started it, I think I would have been more open to pushing it, I definitely would have. But because we were in it, and we had 1000s of people from around the world like so jazzed. I wasn't ready to tell them what had happened. Like it was 24 hours later, I was not ready to talk about it. And so it just felt out of integrity to end it. And so what I did do was I leaned on the team, and I leaned on our coaches that we have in our company. And I said, make it work, do it do what you need to do if you need to do replays from past launches. If you need to send emails, I don't care what you do, make it work. And they proceeded to go through the launch without me. And I did not know when I was coming back. I basically sat on the couch watching Dance movies, to the point that I literally was like up to dance movies that were from other countries and other languages. And they were like really bad, like voiceovers like, it was like, There's nothing left for me to watch. And I just, I just went through my own process. And it was eight weeks until I was ready to kind of come back again and get back on a team meeting and get back on a coaching call. And for me, it was in that moment that I saw, like, wow, we really did build the machine. We've been talking about it a lot. And we teach people how to do it. And I didn't want to learn it in this way. But Thank you universe for showing me like we really did build the machine. And they went on to have a, you know, multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple six figure launch without me and I did nothing. I absolutely did. I did not move off the couch. I just and I went through my own process and you know,Kelsey Smith:
shared when I felt appropriate to share. Yeah, gosh, and there's really nothing to say about your experience that can put words to it. Right. I know some of our community has experienced similar things. And I know you're still in the process of where are we at now? And what's next? And how am I moving through this? But how did you navigate just making that choice of keeping things just for you? Because I remember after my surgery, I didn't want to talk about it. And I needed that time. And now sometimes I hear from people that have a an Instagram following. You're like well, you're they're not being authentic if they're not sharing. And there is this Instagram versus reality. But when you're in it, you say this even with business, right? Like when you're in the prescription bottle, you can't read the label, right? But even when you're in it, you can't vocalize what you're going through. You can't process in a way to share with others exactly what's going on. And so I'm curious in that moment, not only how did you communicate your team and your followers or choose not to for that eight weeks, but how did you have that conversation with Mike for someone that was just kind of there with you?:
Yeah, for me, so, I sort of live by one thing on social media, right people talk about authenticity and vulnerability you do You need to air all of your dirty laundry for you to be vulnerable or authentic. This is a barometer that you're going to have to choose what like that litmus is for you what that temperature is for you. There is absolutely no right answer. In fact, I would caution that you don't use things in your life like this for marketing. Like I think it's pretty. You people can read through the lines, right? Like people can feel the energy when someone tells like a traumatic story or some sob story and then pitches at the end. And you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, right. Like, there's a level of it. Just like with kids, do you want to share pictures your kids on the internet or not? It's your choice. There's nothing right or wrong about it. So for me, I sort of live by, there's a difference between something being a scab and something being a scar. So 24 hours after it happened. It was a scab, like even eight weeks after it happened. It was a scab, I was in it. I hadn't processed it. I hadn't learned the lessons from it. I didn't understand it, I still don't understand it. And that's okay. Right. That's part of my process. When it's months or years later, depending on what the thing is. Maybe it's days later, it sort of turns into a scar. And whether that is something big T or little T big trauma or little trauma, right? It's anything though it's a difficult conversation. In the moment, you're heightened, your cortisol is up and you're like angry, and in a fight with someone, it's a scab. But days later when you work through it and had a conversation, now it's a scar. So for me, I generally don't love sharing when it's a scab, because I don't feel that it's I don't have all the information yet, I don't have the lesson, I don't have the context as to why I would be sharing Now on the flip side, sometimes it just feels good to share. But I also am very mindful with my community and my audience that I'm not going to unload something on you so that I feel better. That's not what my platform is for. And so I'm very cautious when it's a scab. The minute it happened, I shouldn't say the minute, within 48 hours of the surgery happening, I knew that I would share one day. And the reason was, I couldn't find anyone who had been through what I had been through. This is not a competition, I found a lot of women who had miscarriages. I found a lot of Facebook groups for miscarriages. I found even infant loss, I found support groups, I reached out to every therapist I know and I asked for their help, and no one could connect me to any thing for ectopic, no one had people to connect me to and no one had support to connect me to there was no Facebook group for me to go into. And I felt I just felt really alone. And I'm okay with it. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not embarrassed or anything. So within a few days, I knew that one day I would share because if I could help just want one person feel not so alone, that it's happened to me that that for me is worth it. And it ultimately has nothing to do with my business, right. But it has everything to do with my business because I am my business. And we're all humans. And so I felt it was really important. How long it was going to take I didn't know, I just kind of was like rolling with the punches. Now we were documenting along the way because I'm I create I'm a content creator. So I'm always documenting. So Mike has video of me doing the presentation to the full audience of 1000s of people virtually. And from the neck up. I'm like I got makeup on. And my cute little, you know, outfit. And from the waist down, I'm wearing leopard print pajama pants that are hiked up to my boobs with a diaper and like bandages all over my stomach. And so we sort of thought it would be helpful to see this kind of Instagram versus reality because what these 1000s of people didn't see was how I felt and what was going on behind the scenes. And for the context of me being a business mentor, it actually is really important to showcase. And it was my choice to go forward with the launch, right, but to showcase sort of like what was going on behind the scenes and all the fires we were putting out and the fact that I was on the couch just miserable and crying and sad and grieving. But then I turned it on for the one or two hours that I would need to turn it on and kind of compartmentalize, but then give myself the space to do the healing that needed to do so. I knew it was something I wanted to share. I just didn't know when it was around eight weeks in that I'm kinda like I think I shared around week 10 or 12. And I was like, Okay, now I feel comfortable sharing. It's not marketing. It's just I want to tell people what was going on. And I want to let other people know, and not just women but men because something that we found, you know, you asked about Mike, most people didn't ask Mike how he was. I'm not gonna say nobody did. Most people only asked me how I was, and I'm super appreciative. But it was a really interesting moment for us to realize that he was going through his own grief, he lost something to and watching me and just how sad I was and how much pain I was in and how much blame I had on myself and just all of it and he's carrying the weight of the team and managing all the people that he's not normally managing and so the taking care of me physically and taking care of the business and everything like most people did not ask how he was in the few that did it was like how you unfortunately must have gone through something similar to know how important it is to ask him how he is. And now that's something so beautiful that we could take moving forward that we both know and it's like wow, crappy lesson to have right but a really important one. So he said He just took the ball away from me. I don't even know that he asked permission he maybe he did. I don't remember, you know what I mean? He just kind of took the ball and so did Lauren on our team, and they just did it. And I also had to be okay with like, maybe they don't do it the way I want, maybe they mess up. And that's okay. And so it was just, it was a couple months of us, like just getting scrappy, and figuring it out. And everybody being flexible and open and compassionate on the team to what it would look like and they killed it. They absolutely crushed it.Kelsey Smith:
Yeah, I mean, so many people wouldn't have even known. And I just think it's this really beautiful permission to run your business the way that you want to in your life in the sense that it gives you an outlet when you are in this grief state. And you're giving yourself permission to be on the couch watching movies and crying, but also, you're like, I want a version of normalcy. And how do I get that right now? So how do I get on and do this, and then on the flip side, having might be okay, I can pick up the ball here, and I'm gonna do that. And also, I can't pick up the ball until you you are aren't going to do something. So I'm going to let you figure out how you're going to get on the call and do that, and watch TV and, you know, navigate life in that way. And no one knows how to help each other or anyone else. But like you said, being able to check in and say, Hey, how are both of you doing? How are all parties involved doing and I think this is very specific to that, like you said, finding your people in your group can feel so hard. But then also just general, to be able to say like when people go through things, it's almost never just that one person that is going through that.:
But I had incredible people like you reaching out No, it really truly like, there were so many people that did reach out who just offered so much love and support. And it was like to know that you have people in your corner. And I think if I didn't share it on social media, I wouldn't have known about some of the women that came forward and said, I too had an ectopic or I went through a miscarriage or I went through something similar or I'm so sorry, or I lost my tube or I lost my uterus or whatever. And it was like, wow, it's unfortunate that that's what we're bonding over. But had I not share that I might still feel really alone in the fact that I was the only one that I knew. But then I shared it. And then other people were like me too, you know, and you're like, wow, that's wild. And I just had so many incredible people kind of surfaced in my life from that.Kelsey Smith:
Yeah. Because if you don't share what you're going through, no one can help you. Right? It doesn't mean you have to share, but then also understanding that people can't support you if they don't, if they don't know, we could literally talk forever, ever. But I would say I have two final questions for you first is whether it's even just through that and that experience or the other hard things that you've navigated or through business. For those that are listening, you know, they're going to hit challenges, business and personal, they've maybe already had them, what is something that you have learned that helps you get back on track and get going again, when you've been knocked down?:
Distance. So like removing myself from it, it being the challenge, or the thing that I'm working on, right? It's like the visual of sitting at a computer and the cursor is blinking at you on a blank page. And you're like trying to force yourself to write a paper in school, like that is not going to happen. There's going to be so much resistance, there's no creativity, there's no motivation when you're just staring at the blank cursor, you know, staring at you or blinking at you. And so for me, it's like distance, how can I step away from the thing? How can I triangulate the problem? So it's not about me, how can I remove myself from literally the environment, and it might just be going for a walk, go outside, take a deep breath, take a workout class, meet up with a friend go get coffee at a coffee shop. And it's removing myself from the very thing which feels counterintuitive, right? Because you're like, but I haven't figured it out yet. And it's like well, you're not going to figure it out sitting there getting mad about it. So allow yourself the distance and maybe that's even taking a couple days off or a vacation or a social media detox or whatever it would be it's like, allow yourself the space to actually come back fresh.Kelsey Smith:
Yeah, that's good. Always need to step away. I feel like that also comes up with parenting like if you see yourself and even for you with teaching, and until you carry that other title to be able to say like okay, when you're about to yell at your kids or you feel like you don't know how to handle the mess in the house or what to make for dinner like take a step back and it applies to business life everything grief.:
Music, a reset will reset like a mental vacation, you know, yes,Kelsey Smith:
mental vacation love that. Before I ask my last question. All the places we can connect with you. Of course all the business goodies so much value I can't even vouch for it enough on the podcast. But all the other places people can move forward in life and business with you.:
I hang out most on Instagram. We are basically on every single app or platform so I hang up post on Instagram my handle there is I am Jessica Rose. It is a little confusing. My maiden name is Glaser. That's technically my legal name. So lots of things have Glaser Lots of things have to rose but I am Jessica rose on Instagram. We also have our own podcast. So digital This is evolution. We currently put out three episodes per week and they're really fun. There's lots of mindset stuff, lots of business stuff, we do guest interviews, mic drops with my husband, Mike and then solo episodes. Of course, we've got our website, Jessica rose.com. We were on threads, Tik Tok, YouTube, I mean, literally everywhere you can find me, but that's where you can find me.Kelsey Smith:
So good. And everything from the Get Ready With Me videos in the morning with like free coaching to then also unpacking like bigger topics. You can't get enough of Jess and her content, you might get enough of me my last question for you What is something that you're excited about, personally, professionally, a goal that you are currently working on when we think of having goals and what is lighting you up right now or keeping you awake and laying in bed ready to go hit the ground running, knowing you? What is the thing that is top notch right now.:
Woof can give you two, of course, really just getting back to like ultimate optimal health and like really feeling great, and my body feeling strong. Again, I've had a lot of setbacks over the past two years, we're going through an interesting restructure right now of sort of how we're running the business to be proactive for where we're intending to go, which is to be parents. So we're sort of taking a proactive approach to making a lot of changes. And I'm really excited about these changes, because parents are not, this is going to change the way that we're able to live our life. And I feel that the season that I'm in many years ago, whether it was you know, seven years ago, 10 years ago, five years ago, I set these big, audacious goals. And I had a dream vision of what my life could look like one day, and I'm so grateful to say that I'm living in it. But also what I'm recognizing is while I've, quote unquote, arrived to that dream, that vision, those goals, and I've been living in it for a couple of years. I stopped dreaming at this place. And so I'm in a space right now with my life in business where I get to dream again for what the next version is going to be. And so that's what I'm really excited about, because I had only really fought to this point, and I'm here and it's great. It's great. It's better than I could have imagined. But I didn't allow myself to go past here. And so now I'm like, Yeah, all right, what's next? Like? Let's keep going. Let's keep going.Kelsey Smith:
I love that. So good. Thank you so much, Jess. I and we're headed off to record part two.Unknown Speaker:
Yeah. Love it.Kelsey Smith:
Sometime sometimes the smallest acts of love is all a mom needs to feel reinvigorated. If you can relate to that I'd feel so supported by your five star rating in written review. Take a moment and let me know what you thought about this episode.