“Values are like an anchor, like a calm security blanket for everybody.” –Jenny Warner
Are you ready for summer? Did you think about values and boundaries when planning your summer? I’m talking with Jenny Warner, a parent coach who delights in helping parents learn how to make parenting fun and how to let their kids figure out who they are. She’s a mompreneur with a twelve-year-old, a busy husband, two dogs, an active healthy lifestyle and a fabulous spiritual practice. In other words, she’s got a lot of balls in the air like the rest of us, and she shows up to calls for FLOW365 with a smile.
There are some big concepts that serve us well and adapt with us as our kids grow: expectations, values, boundaries. But we need to get really clear on what our values are, personally and as a family. We need to let go of expectations we bring in from childhood posing as values. Jenny helps parents unpack their baggage and move forward with more ease.
Think about what you really need to know as a parent. Think about what your gut tells you (or what it might if you knew how to listen to it). That’s the kind of parenting work Jenny does. We come back to the village concept of sharing ideas and information. All of our kids are different, and we all have different perspectives, but we all have something to share and learn.
We talk about:
How to lean into the expansive energy of summer
Why screen time can be trigger and how to reframe it
Planning from a place of values and how values can energize us and curb pushback
Using family dinner or teachable moments to share family values
How kids want boundaries (even if they fight them) and how to create and maintain boundaries
Connecting values and boundaries and creating a plan for the summer
Jenny Warner is the Chief Empowerment Officer of Shine Brite who sees the potential in people. She loves seeing the look of wonder in a kid’s eyes. She loves their imaginations, their questions and their optimistic spirits. She has developed some amazing programs to take parents and their children on a journey of discovery. The information that parents and children discover from this journey together illuminates their worlds, and allows them to see things differently.
IDENTIFY YOUR OWN VALUES. Values are a great starting point. To identify yours, start with a list of values. Cross off any that don’t resonate. Highlight any that do. Read through the list again. Keep narrowing it down until you have about 5–10. Journal on what this means to you and how it shows up in your life.
KNOW YOUR FAMILY VALUES. Choose 7–10 words that define your family or family values. Do this together, maybe at dinner time. Connectivity and taking care of the planet our two of ours. (I talk more about values here). Talk about how this value shows up in your life. What do you do or not do because of this value?
SET A BOUNDARY FOR SUMMER. Boundaries should be consistent and clear. Maybe certain boundaries change in the summer. Maybe there is a later bedtime or more freedom to choose activities. Think about boundaries you have (or wish you had). Get clear on what that looks like for summer. If it is different, talk about why (You’re older now and can have more responsibility or Our overall schedule is different in the summer, so we are making some changes around bedtime that we will revisit when school starts again.) Communicate the boundary clearly and maintain it. Kids need and want boundaries.