Join Host Bree Carlile as she reads the twenty-sixth chapter of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

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Today we'll be continuing Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain.

Chapter 26.

Well, when they was all gone, the King asks Mary Jane how they was off for spare rooms.

And she said she had one spare room, which would do for Uncle William, and she'd give her own room to Uncle Harvey, which was a little bigger, and she would turn into the room with her sisters and sleep on a cot and up.

Garrett was a little cubby with a pallet in it.

The King said the cubby would do for his valley, meaning me.

So Mary Jane took us up and she showed them their rooms, which was plain but nice.

She said she'd have her frocks and a lot of other traps took out of her room if they was in Uncle Harvey's way, but he said they weren't.

The frocks was hung along the wall, and before them was a curtain made out of calico that hung down to the floor.

There was an old hair trunk in one corner and a guitar box in another, and all sorts of little knickknacks and gym cracks around like girls brisking up a room with.

The king said it was all the more homely and more pleasanter for these fixings and so didn't disturb them.

The Duke's room was pretty small, but plenty good enough, and so was my cubby that night they had a big supper, and all them men and women was there.

And I stood behind the King and the Duke's chairs and waited on them, and the servants waited on the rest.

Mary Jane, she sat at the head of the table with Susan alongside of her and said how bad the biscuits was and how mean the preserves was and how ornery and tough the fried chickens was and all that kind of rot, the way women always do for to force out compliments.

And the people all knowed everything was tipped up and said so.

Said, how do you get biscuits to brown so nice?

And where, for land's sake, did you get these amazing pickles?

And all that kind of humbug?

Talkie.

Talk just the way people always does at a supper, you know.

And when it was all done, me and the hair lip had supper in the kitchen off all the leavings whilst the others was helping the servants clean up the things.

The hair lip she got to pumping me about England, and blessed if I didn't think the ice was getting mighty thin sometimes.

She says, did you ever see the King?

Who?

William fourth.

Well, I bet I have.

He goes to our church.

I know he was dead years ago, but I never let on.

So when I says he goes to our church, she says, what, regular?

Yes, regular.

His pews right over opposite ARN on the other side of the pulpit.

I thought he lived in London.

Well, he does.

Where would he live?

But I thought you lived in Sheffield.

I see.

I was up a stump.

I had to let on to get choked with a chicken bone so as to get time to think how to get down again.

Then I says, I mean, he goes to our church regular when he's in Sheffield.

That's only in the summertime when he comes there to take the sea baths.

Why, how you talk Sheffield, Aunt on the sea.

Well, who said it was?

Why, you did.

I didn't.

Another you did.

I didn't.

You did.

I never said nothing of the kind.

Well, what did you say, then?

Said he come to take the sea baths.

That's what I said.

Well, then how's he going to take the sea baths if it ain't on the sea?

Looky here, I says, did you ever see any Congress water?

Yes.

Well, did you have to go to Congress to get it?

Why, no.

Well, neither does William Forth have to go to the sea to get a seabath.

How does he get it, then?

Gets it the way people down here gets Congress water in barrels.

They're in the palace at Sheffield.

They've got furnaces, and he wants his water hot.

They can't buy all that amount of water away off there at the sea.

They haven't got no conveniences for it.

Oh, I see.

Now, you might have said that in the first place and saved time when she said that.

I see.

I was out of the woods again, and so I was comfortable and glad.

Next she says, do you go to church, too?

Yes, regular.

Where do you set?

Why, in our pew.

Who's pew?

Why, ARN your uncle Harvey's his in.

What does he want with a pew?

Wants it to set in.

What did you reckon he wanted with it?

Why, I thought he'd be in the pulpit rod him.

I forgot he was a preacher.

I see.

I was up a stump again, so I played another chicken bone and got another think.

Then I says, Blame it.

Do you suppose there ain't but one preacher to a church?

Why, what do they want with more?

What to preach before a king?

I never did see such a girl as you.

They don't have no less than 1717, my land.

Why, I wouldn't set out such a string as that, not if I never got to glory.

It must take them a week chucks.

They don't all of them preach the same day?

Only one of them.

Well, then, what does the rest of them do?

Oh, nothing much.

Lull around, pass the plate and one thing or another, but mainly they don't do nothing.

Well, then what are they for?

Why, they're versatile.

Don't you know nothing?

Well, I don't want to know no such foolishness as that.

How is servants treated in england?

Do they treat them better than we treat our servants?

No.

A servant ain't nobody there.

They treat them worse than dogs.

Don't they give them holidays the way we do christmas and new year's week and 4 July.

Oh, just listen.

A body could tell you hayne's ever been to england by that.

Why, hare.

Why, Joanna, they never see a holiday for a year's end to year's end.

Never go to the circus, nor theater, nor servant shows, nor nowheres nor church.

Nor church.

But you always went to church.

Well, I was gone up again.

I forgot I was the old man's servant.

But next minute I whirled in on a kind of an explanation how a valley was different from a common servant and had to go to church whether he wanted to or not and set with the family on account of its being the law.

But I didn't do it pretty good, and when I got done, I see she weren't satisfied.

She says, honest engine.

Now, ain't you been telling me a lot of lies?

Honest engine, says I.

None of it at all.

None of it at all.

Not a lie in it says, I lay your hand on this book and say it.

I see it weren't nothing but a dictionary, so I laid my hand on it and said it.

So then she looked a little better satisfied and says, well, then I believe some of it, but I hope to gracious if I'll believe the rest.

What is it you won't believe, Joe?

Says Mary Jane stepping in with Susan behind her.

It ain't right nor kind for you to talk so to him.

And him a stranger and so far from his people.

How would you like to be treated so?

That's always your way, mame.

Always sailing in to help somebody before they're hurt.

I ain't done nothing to him.

He's told some stretchers, I reckon.

And I said I wouldn't swallow it all and that's.

Every bit in Grain, I did say, I reckon he can stand a little thing like that, can't he?

I don't care whether twas little or whether twas big.

He's here in our house and a stranger.

And it wasn't good of you to say it.

If you was in his place, it would make you feel ashamed.

And so you oughtn't to say a thing to another person that will make them feel ashamed.

Why, Mame, he said it don't make no difference what he said.

That ain't the thing.

The thing is for you to treat him kind and not be saying things to make him remember he ain't in his own country and amongst his own folks.

I says to myself, this is a girl that I'm letting that old reptile robber of her money.

Then Susan, she waltzed in, and if you'll believe me, she did give hair lip.

Hark from the tomb.

Says I to myself, and this another one that I'm letting him rob her of her money.

Then Mary Jane, she took another inning and went in sweet and lovely again, which was her way.

But when she got done, there weren't hardly anything left.

A poor hair lip.

So she hollered, all right then, says the other girls, you just ask his pardon.

She done it, too.

And she'd done it beautiful.

She'd done it so beautiful.

It was good to hear.

And I wished I could tell her a thousand lies so she could do it again.

I says to myself, this is another one that I'm letting him rob her of her money.

And when she got through, they all just laid theirselves out to make me feel at home and know I was amongst friends.

I felt so ornery and low down and mean that I says to myself my mind's made up.

I'll hide that money for them or bust.

So then I lit out for bed, I said meaning sometime or another when I got by myself, I went to thinking the thing over.

I says to myself shall I go to that doctor private and blow on these frauds?

No, that won't do.

He might tell who told him.

Then the King and the Duke would make it warm for me.

Shall I go private and tell Mary Jane?

No, I dassent do it.

Her face would give them a hint.

Sure, they've got the money and they'd slide right out and get away with it.

If she was to fetch in help, I'd get mixed up in the business before it was done.

With.

I judge.

No, there ain't no good way but one.

I got to steal that money somehow.

And I got to steal it some way that they won't suspicion that I'd done it.

They've got a good thing here and they ain't going to leave till they've played this family in this town for all their worth.

So I'll find a chance time enough.

I'll steal it and hide it and buy and buy.

When I'm away down the river, I'll write a letter and tell Mary Jane where it's hid.

But I better hide it tonight if I can.

Because the Doctor maybe hasn't let up as much as he lets on.

He has.

He might scare them out of here yet.

So think sigh.

I I'll go and search their rooms upstairs.

The hall was dark, but I found the Duke's room and started to paw around it with my hands.

But I recollected it wouldn't be much like the King to let anybody else take care of that money but his own self.

So then I went to his room and begun to paw around there.

But I see I couldn't do nothing without a candle and I dassent light one, of course.

So I judged I'd got to do the other thing lay for them and eavesdrop about that time.

I hear their footsteps coming and was going to skip under the bed.

I reached for it, but it wasn't where I thought it would be.

But I touched the curtain that hid Mary Jane's Frocks.

So I jumped in behind that and snuggled in amongst the gowns and stood there perfectly still.

They come in and shut the door and the first thing the Duke done was to get down and look under the bed.

Then I was glad I hadn't found the bed when I wanted it.

And yet you know, it's kind of natural to hide under the bed when you're up to anything private.

They sets down then, and the King says, well, what is it?

And cut it midland short, because it's better for us to be down there whooping up the morning than up here giving them a chance to talk us over.

Well, this is it, Cap.

It it ain't easy.

It ain't comfortable.

That doctor lays on my mind.

I wanted to know your plans.

I've got a notion and I think it's a sound one.

What is it, Duke?

Now we better glide out of this before three in the morning and clip it down the river with what we've got.

Especially seeing we got it so easy given back to us.

Flung at our heads, as you may say, when of course, we allowed to have to steal it back.

I'm for knocking off and lighting out.

That made me feel pretty bad.

About an hour or two ago it would have been a little different, but now it made me feel bad and disappointed.

The King rips out and says what?

And not sell out the rest of the property, march off like a passle of fools and leave eight or $9,000 worth of property laying around just suffering to be scooped in and all good saleable stuff, too.

The Duke.

He grumbled.

Said the bag of gold was enough and he didn't want to go no deeper.

Didn't want to rob a lot of orphans of everything they had.

Why, how you talk, says the King.

We shan't rob them of nothing at all but just this money.

The people that buys the property sufferers because as soon as it's found out we didn't own it, which won't be long after we've slid, the sale won't be valid, and it'll all go back to the estate.

These year orphans will get their house back again and that's enough for them.

They're young and spry and can easily earn a living.

They ain't going to suffer.

Why, just think, there's thousands and thousands.

It ain't nice so well off.

Bless you.

They ain't got nothing to complain of.

While the King, he talked in blind, so at last he gave in and said all right, but said he believed it was blamed foolishness to stay and that doctor hanging over them.

But the King says, Cuss the doctor, what are we caring for him?

And we got all the fools in town on our side and ain't that a big enough majority in any town?

So they got ready to go downstairs again.

The Duke says, I don't think we put that money in a good place.

That cheered me up.

I'd begun to think I weren't going to get a hint of no kind to help me.

The king says, why?

Because Mary Jane will be in mourning from this out.

And first, you know the servant that does up the rooms will get an order to box these dudes up and put them away.

And do you reckon a servant can run across money and not borrow some of it?

Your head's level again, Duke, says the King.

And he comes a fumbling under the curtain, two or three foot from where I was.

I stuck tight to the wall and kept mighty still, though quiveri.

And I wondered what them fellows would say to me if they catched me.

And I tried to think what I'd better do if they did catch me.

But the King got the bag before I could think more than about half a thought and he never suspicioned I was around.

They took and shoved the bag through a rip in the straw tick that was under the feather bed and crammed it in a foot or two amongst the straw and said it was all right now because a servant only makes up the feather bed and don't turn over the straw tick only about twice a year.

And so it weren't in no danger of getting stolen.

Now.

But I knowed better.

I had it out of there before they was halfway downstairs.

I groped along up to my cubby and hid it there till I could get a chance to do better.

I judged I better hide it outside of the house somewhere, because if they missed it, they would give the house a good ransacking.

I know that very well.

Then I turned in with my clothes all on, but I couldn't have gone to sleep if I'd have wanted to.

I was in such a sweat to get through with the business.

By and by, I heard the king and the duke come up.

So I rolled off my pallet and laid with my chin at the top of my ladder and waited to see if anything was going to happen.

But nothing did, so I held on till all the late sounds had quit and the early ones hadn't begun yet.

And then I slipped down the ladder.

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