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Making Friends and Building Your Community with Dr. Stacy Goldbaum
Episode 5222nd April 2022 • The Prosperous Doc • Spaugh Dameron Tenny
00:00:00 00:34:26

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Dr. Stacy Goldbaum’s move to Charlotte, North Carolina was a bigger transition than she’d anticipated. She missed having her friends and extended family near. Recognizing the importance of having a sense of community, Dr. Goldbaum decided to find a way to create connections in her new city. 

Historically, making new friends isn’t difficult for Dr. Goldbaum. However, with this move, she knew putting herself out there would be key to finding her people. 

“I think we all are very aware, just as with training, you can't always pick [your city]. Sometimes when you're trying to find your first job out of training, you can't always have the choice of location or hospital system you want.” Dr. Goldbaum says. “We just picked up, moved, and hoped for the best. Charlotte is a bigger city compared to some, and it had access to airports, so we knew we could get to family quickly if we were having that itch to go visit them.”

In this episode of the Prosperous Doc®, our host Shane Tenny, CFP®, invites Dr. Goldbaum to explore the important topic of making friends in adulthood. They discuss how to cultivate a professional community for yourself while balancing the needs of a demanding career. 

Dr. Goldbaum also discusses how the idea and need for the Cultivating Resilience Conference first began and shares details for the upcoming event on Saturday, May 14th, 2022 in Charlotte. The conference is the only Charlotte wellness retreat for local women physicians by local women physicians. 

“The goal of this conference is to find out what's meaningful to you, who are the people who are going to support you, and how do you make friends out of this conference too," she says. "I'm telling you, once you find your people, it is such a life-changing experience, and every day just gets easier.”  


💡 Featured Expert 💡

Name: Dr. Stacy Goldbaum

What she does: As a board-certified Internal Medicine physician specializing in Endocrinology, Diabetes, and Metabolism, Dr. Goldbaum serves as an assistant professor in the Department of Medicine at Atrium Health and as the site-based medical director for her office. Before the COVID-19 pandemic, Dr. Goldbaum also hosted monthly get-togethers for local women physicians through the “Women in White Coats: Charlotte” meetup group. She is a contributing writer in the SheMD.org virtual community. 

Company: Atrium Health

Words of wisdom: Stacy Goldbaum: “Once you find your people, it is such a life-changing experience and every day just gets easier.”

Connect: LinkedIn | Twitter   


💰 On the Money 💰

Top takeaways from this episode 

Creating your community. As an adult, you won’t always find that your community of friends and family will naturally appear. Dr. Goldbaum found that, after moving to a new city, she had to put herself out there to meet new people. This led her to create a meetup group for women physicians where she could connect with new people monthly. 

Discovering the power of coaching. Dr. Goldbaum first discovered coaching through an online course during the pandemic. After she discovered the benefits the course had on her mental health, she didn’t hesitate to commit to creating a retreat for the women in her community. This was how the Cultivating Resilience Conference began. 

Learning from others. Creating a conference for women physicians that is put on by women physicians helps create community. Dr. Goldbaum explains that attendees can learn from one another by sharing wisdom gained from their experiences. 

See where ideas take you. Dr. Goldbaum never imagined she would be hosting a conference with two friends. Now she has a whole community around her.

⚡ Prosperous Insights ⚡

[04:30] Putting yourself out there: Dr. Goldbaum knew that after moving to a new city she had to commit to putting herself out there if she wanted to make new friends. Having that go-getter mentality is important as you prepare for an upcoming move. 

[07:04] Creating a meetup group: After finding that many of her work colleagues were in different life stages that occupied them on weekends and evenings, Dr. Goldbaum decided to start a meetup group. The group provided a place for women physicians to connect.

[09:54] Personal and professional support: Because the meetup group was created for women physicians, Dr. Goldbaum found both friendship and professional support from the members who attended events. 

[12:19] Pandemic disruptions and pregnancy: In 2020, when the pandemic was new to everyone, Dr. Goldbaum struggled to maintain her community as everything shifted to virtual events. This was compounded by trying to minimize potential exposure to the virus while pregnant. 

[13:07] Re-finding her community: After six months of struggling through virtual events, Dr. Goldbaum discovered a nationwide course called Empowering Women Physicians by Dr. Sunny Smith. Just like that, she found her community again. 

[16:18] How Cultivating Resilience began: It was a desire to help women in her community treat burnout through a day of mindfulness and wellness that first launched Cultivating Resilience

[19:45] Health, wealth, and self: Dr. Goldbaum shares the details of her upcoming Cultivating Resilience Conference on May 14th 2022 in Charlotte, NC, where women can take a day for themselves. 

[24:12] Wisdom versus information: Dr. Goldbaum shares a lightbulb moment she had after asking another physician who was late in her career what her biggest regret was. 

[26:25] Creating lightbulb moments: The goal of the conference is to have women walking away with light bulb moments where they feel curious and delighted about the opportunities available to them. 

[32:14] People that do awesome things don’t do them alone: Dr. Goldbaum gives a shout-out to her good friend Dr. Alexandra “Lexie” Mannix, MD for the support she has provided over the years.

💵 Financial Wellness Tip 💵

You worked hard to earn your white coat, but what happens if you get sick and can’t work? The truth is that during the course of your career, you are three and a half times more likely to be injured and need disability insurance than you are to die and need life insurance. But disability insurance is nuanced and complex.

Thankfully, the advisors at Spaugh Dameron Tenny have developed the Disability Insurance Guide for Physicians and Dentists, a free ebook outlining the key considerations, benefits, and misconceptions of disability insurance. Protect your family from the consequences of life’s events by protecting your income and securing peace of mind. 

 

Disclaimer: Prosperous Doc podcast by Spaugh Dameron Tenny highlights real-life stories from doctors and dentists to encourage and inspire listeners through discussions of professional successes and failures in addition to personal stories and financial wellness advice. Spaugh Dameron Tenny is a comprehensive financial planning firm serving doctors and dentists in Charlotte, NC. To find out more about Spaugh Dameron Tenny, visit our website at www.sdtplanning.com. You can also connect with our host, Shane Tenny, CFP at shane@whitecoatwell.com or on Twitter.

Compliance code: CRN202503-2073497

Transcripts

Stacy Goldbaum (:

I'm telling you, once you find your people, it is such a life-changing experience, and every day just gets easier.

Voiceover (:

From Spaugh Dameron Tenny, it's the Prosperous Doc Podcast. Real stories, real inspiration, real growth, a show for doctors who are ready to improve their overall wellness in every aspect of life. Now here's your host, Shane Tenny.

Shane Tenny (:

Welcome back to the Prosperous Doc Podcast. My name is Shane Tenny. Glad to have you with us today for a conversation, I'd argue, is about one of the most important things in all of life, and that is relationships. Relationships are hard as an adult because we're pulled in so many different directions between work and family and responsibilities. I know I have a personal theory that when you move to a new town, it won't feel like home until you can drive places without looking at the GPS, and you can bump into people you know at the coffee shop or grocery store. I know there's one study out there that says not only is it difficult to make casual friendships, but making close friends can take over 200 hours. And so building relationships is difficult for adults in general, but especially for those of you in medicine or dentistry who train in one city and then move a couple hundred miles away to start in your career.

Shane Tenny (:

And that's the story of my guest today. Dr. Stacy Goldbaum is joining me. Although she and her husband, Aaron, moved from up north, where she trained, down to Charlotte when she joined Atrium Healthcare as an endocrinologist a number of years ago, it wasn't the same without friends or extended family around. And so she missed having her group of friends to enjoy life with, to explore the city with, to get recommendations from, and most importantly, to give and receive the support that we all need in going through life. But not to be thwarted or daunted, Stacy, not having her old group of friends, decided to find a way to make new ones. And so today's episode is about making friends as a grown-up, and I'm excited to tackle this conversation with you. Stacy, thanks so much for being with us today.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Thank you so much for having me. I'm looking forward to this.

Shane Tenny (:

Yeah. Absolutely. So you trained at Cleveland Clinic in Pennsylvania and then moved to Charlotte, North Carolina. Tell me a little bit about what you were thinking and what was important to you when you were thinking where to relocate.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Absolutely. So it's interesting, I'm originally from Florida, and so when you're in training, the training location picks you. You don't get to choose where you train. And so I was actually very fortunate to be up with one of the Cleveland Clinic Hospitals and then with Hahnemann in Philadelphia. And so once your training comes to the end and you start to finish all your schooling, you start to think, "Well, what's next and where to go?" And as I always joke with my patients, up north was a little too cold for me, although my husband was up there. Once he got the feel of Philly, where we were 10 degrees warmer than Cleveland, he's like, "I think I like this." I go, "Good. We're going further south." But coming from Florida, my hair could not handle the humidity, so we went in between and found North Carolina.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

I do have some family in Greensboro in the Durham area, no one in Charlotte, but upon looking for jobs, I think we all are very aware, just as with training, you can't always pick. Sometimes when you're trying to find a first job out of training, can't always have the choice of location or hospital system you want either. And so after researching the Carolinas, Charlotte just happened to be the right fit and the right, obviously, opportunity that had an opening. And so we went in between. We're not too far from family, but we're also not too close, which is pros and cons of each, I think. And so that's how we ended up in Charlotte, but to be fair, like you said, did not know a single person in Charlotte. We just picked up and moved and hoped for the best. We heard good things. It's a bigger city compared to some, and it had access to airports, so we knew we could get to family quickly if we were having that itch to go visit them.

Shane Tenny (:

When you were contemplating, I guess, North Carolina and then Charlotte and things like that, was making friends one of the criteria that was even on your radar at that point?

Stacy Goldbaum (:

So I knew it was going to be a little bit of a struggle. It was a thought process. At that time, we were newly married, had no kids. We just had a dog. And so we knew that we would have this opportunity to meet people and go out and just enjoy the city and explore. It's what we did when we moved to Philly, and so we knew we could do the same thing in Charlotte. It was a little bit larger, like I said, so we knew there were different neighborhoods to explore. And both my husband and I tend to make friends a little bit on the easier side, but not always. And so we knew that if we put ourselves out there once we got to a city, we'd be able to do it. And so it was something that was in the back of my mind, but it wasn't a make or break.

Shane Tenny (:

Gotcha. So you knew relationships are important and thought, "All right, we'll figure this out when we get there." And so what did you do? How did you go about landing in a new city and then starting to build a community and meet people?

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Yeah, great question. So once we first got here, I got to do the really fun take your boards after training. And so that always took up several hours of the day, just trying to get through that time period. My husband was still working at that point. He was remote and still is remote now from his Philadelphia job. And so I was just studying in my spare time. And so the first couple months, it was study or work, work or study. I made a few friends at work, but everyone, once you get into the real world, is at different stages of life. It's not like training where you're always the same year, move to the next one, and you're experiencing everything. So this was the first time where I actually had to learn how to make friends on my own. What I like to refer to in med school and residency training were trauma friendships. You were forced together, and you had to make friends because you're with each other for more hours a day with each other than [crosstalk 00:06:21]-

Shane Tenny (:

Kind of Survivor Island.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

It is Survivor Island, and you find your person who you can vent to and they vent to you. And we always say, you have your work spouse, and that was definitely true with training too. And so now I finish my boards. I'm at work. I have all this extra time in the afternoon or evenings and I'm not studying. And on weekends, it was "Oh no, what do I do now?" And the way our office is arranged, I only knew our endocrine space and made friends with a lot of our providers, but again, they're all in different phases of life. A majority of them have kids. And so they're all doing things on the weekend. And so, at that point, my husband could tell that I was starting to get into a little bit of a depression state. I really do feed off of having a great community.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

And so he had just suggested by the end of the year... We had been here about five months... "You know what, why don't you create a Meetup group?" He was using meetup online, that website to try and meet people himself with his various interests. And I said, "You know what? That's not a bad idea." And so he really pushed me to create a Meetup group online. And what I did was I started hosting monthly happy hours for women physicians in the area. And so some women found me through that Meetup group. I was also able to post it on a local physician Facebook group as well and get members there. And so every month, it did two things. One, it got me to meet people who I had various interests with. At the very core, I at least had medicine in common if I didn't have kids or we had different pets or different specialties, but we always had medicine and training and we understood that.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

And so I got to do that, but I also got to explore the city, and I got to have a lot of fun. And I did it on my own terms because I was the creator. I got to pick all the places that I knew I wanted to go to myself. So it was a little selfish, but it was wonderful. The first event, we had about 10 or 12 women show up. I met one of my good friends now at that very first event. She just happened to be on Meetup and saw it. And then several months later, we both went to a women physician conference. And so she became one of my great friends, and it slowly snowballed. And every time we had a different happy hour, I would meet other specialists. And by meeting other women in different specialties, I got to know them more.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

And now my referral base for work got to increase as well, because now I knew, moving to a new city, who to refer to for different specialties. You always can go within your same system or outside the system and see, but now I know a little bit more background and their personalities and what speaks to them and how to get the best care for my patients. And so it was able to snowball, and every month I would be nervous because I was getting a new group of women that I didn't know if anyone would show up. That's the worst fear to create an event, and you have one person. It's like you know when you have a kid's party and you think only one kid's going to show up to your birthday party at eight? This was the adult version.

Shane Tenny (:

Yeah, you were afraid you booked a table for 12 at Reraws, and then you're sitting there all by yourself, acting like you knew they weren't coming, so.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Yeah. So I was dating for friends is how it pretty much looks like, but I am so grateful to these women. They showed up and they showed up in droves and they supported each other, and it was a community I didn't know existed before then. In training, you're very sheltered from what it's like to be a physician as an attending. You only know the training side. And once it gets to real world, you start having all these doubts. You think you know some stuff and then, right away, you're going to get the weird case in your office that was only on boards. Of course, it's going to show up your first week of being an attending. And these women were able to help me. I refer to them so often now by name. I can send them a message. They'll get patients in quicker. And so it snowballed from there. We were able to maintain this for... probably did 9 out of 12 months the first year we were able to-

Shane Tenny (:

This is back in 2019, right?

Stacy Goldbaum (:

This was 2019 to right at the beginning of 2020. And so we were able to do a lot of events and then 2020, February, was our last event.

Shane Tenny (:

And then [crosstalk 00:10:25]-

Stacy Goldbaum (:

It was Valentine's Day. I can still remember. It was at Dilworth Tasting Room, and we were able to just enjoy a dinner together, not knowing what was going to happen in two weeks, that everything would then shut down. So it was our last girl's night out experience. And I can still remember where everyone was sitting at the long table and what the conversations were. And I know I met two new dermatologists at that meeting. There was an ophthalmologist there. I had my psychiatry there. I had a weight management physician, family medicine, internal medicine, and so I can still remember that dinner so vividly because it meant so much to me, especially now looking back.

Shane Tenny (:

Looking back. So when the pandemic hit, obviously none of us knew what was happening or how long it was going to last. I know there were a lot of just corporate functions and social functions and churches and things like that that found themselves having a drop to Zoom. Did you try to persist via Zoom through the pandemic or doing games online or virtual cocktail hours or anything like that or-

Stacy Goldbaum (:

So the thought was there. I was never able to kind of push myself out there. I think I was in a little bit of a funk that first few months. I think we were all just hoping that we'd be able to come back together. And so another big thing that happened during 2020 is I became pregnant. And so trying to do meetups in person when there was no vaccine, and all of my now good friends are all in medicine, so we've all had potential COVID exposures. We didn't know where anything was happening, so I think everyone was just scared to do anything. Through different means, not myself, there were happy hours on Zoom, but it's not the same. It's you start talking, someone talks over you. It's just not the same as in person. And so it was very different for me.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

And towards the end of the year, I was struggling a lot because not only was I not... I didn't have my friends, but I started to not have my work people either. We went to a lot of virtual visits. The office was pretty dead. So I did have some interaction with patients, very rarely if we needed to do, but because I was pregnant, I also pulled to more virtual as well for safety. And so from a mental health standpoint, it hit, and I didn't realize it, but I also had the pregnancy hormones coming up and down and who knows? I had no idea what to expect with the pregnancy even.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

And so, in the fall of 2020, I had extra CME money, because we weren't doing in-person conferences and so, by the end, I had all this money. I was like, "I don't know what to do." And I found a women physician coaching course that was all online via Zoom. And it's a nationwide course. It's called Empowering Women Physicians by Dr. Sunny Smith. And she had meetings several times a week. It was probably 8 to 10 hours a week, and I found my community again.

Shane Tenny (:

Oh, and this was all virtual.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

This was all virtual via Zoom, and it was physician coaching. And I didn't know what coaching was, but I quickly learned that it was reassessing your thoughts and actions and feelings and how they all interconnect and working through things. And when I first joined, I thought I was going to be working on how do I get my community back and get us to the next level with an idea? And it ended up being so much more work on my mental health and my mental self. And so I am so grateful to have had that opportunity. And when you find a group of women who not only understand what you go through, but support you, the sky's the limit on anything you want to do. You just need to be at the right table with the right women, where the conversations are different, and that's where the conversation started to be different.

Shane Tenny (:

And so have you continued to be in that program with the physician coaching program, or did you use that as a time of growth and then reconvene your posse in 2021?

Stacy Goldbaum (:

So it's funny, I took a break because I then delivered in January 2021, so I wasn't able to fully commit the time. But through that program, I became more aware of other coaches and other opportunities, and so I learned about another coaching program called Leveraging Growth. And it's an accelerator program, where it's a bunch of physicians across the country who are interested in different side gigs, real estate investments, promoting products, becoming coaches. And that's how I kept a community there for my ideas and how to move forward. Of course, there's been times where it's been stagnant, postpartum, and getting back into work, but you always had someone there in the background pushing their ideas. So you knew other people were working on things, and if they could do it, you could do it too. And so that's what re-motivated me.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

And then summer of last year, the surges started to go down. And so I said, "You know what? It might be time to do another happy hour for those who are comfortable." And so I did one, and we had the most women I ever had of any of the events. We probably had close to 20 wanted to go to dinner because we were just so crazy with kids and family and being locked up at home that we needed an outlet for 2 hours. And so we did it. And then when I did that, one of the attendees, Dr. Randie Schacter, she said, "You know what? I was planning on doing a CME mindfulness course in person pre-pandemic, and it got stopped and I'm going to restart it. Why don't we do another event, and I can do a window into what that event's going to be?" And she hosted the next event over the summer as well, where we got to go to her home, and she just had a bunch of women and she cooked, and we just got to have conversation.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

And it was during that conversation... We also had Dr. Tia Consor was there too, and we were just chatting about what we need. Dr. Schacter and Dr. Consor are both psychiatrists and so they could see the mental health rise amongst women physicians, especially with burnout, and the numbers were getting really bad. And so through our conversations, we just explained, "You know what, they've both done coaching before. Here's what they were doing. Here's what I was doing." We were just chatting. And then a few days later, I got a text message that said, "Hey, what do you guys think about doing a conference for our local women physicians here on burnout and giving them a mindfulness day and wellness retreat? I think they could use it." And immediately, within minutes, both myself and Dr. Schacter both said, "We're in." And that's how Cultivating Resilience began.

Shane Tenny (:

That is really interesting. And that's actually what I want to talk about in the second half of the show, which we'll cover right after this break.

Shane Tenny (:

Those of you wearing white coats to work every day, literally or figuratively, know how important your training, specialty, and income are to your future. But what happens if you get sick or hurt and can't work? The truth is that during the course of your career, you are three and a half times more likely to be injured and need disability insurance than you are to die and need life insurance. Disability insurance is one of the most important pieces to protecting the progress you've already made and the future you're building, But it's also one of the most nuanced types of insurance. If disability insurance is something you'd like to be more knowledgeable about, check out the free guide available for download from our sponsor Spaugh Dameron Tenny at their website, SDTplanning.com. Click on the financial resources tab to load the free guide to understanding disability insurance. This and every episode of the Prosperous Doc Podcast is sponsored by Spaugh Dameron Tenny, helping docs and dentists make smart decisions through comprehensive financial planning. Download the free guide to understanding disability insurance at sdtplanning.com.

Shane Tenny (:

All right. So, Stacy, we were talking before the break about just your journey from training into a new city, meeting new people, using Meetup to draw people together, which I think is awesome because it's repeatable. I'm hopeful there's somebody else listening to this who's like, "Oh, wait, I could do that. That's way better than buying a golden retriever and strolling the park, hoping to meet friends." And so I think it's an awesome idea. And then COVID shut things down, but when you came back together, the idea of, I guess, especially reflecting on just the mental health of the other women physicians in the community, in the city where you live was front of mind. So talk a little bit about the conference that you have upcoming in just a couple months here.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Yeah, so the conference is going to be Saturday, May 14th in South Park in Charlotte here at the Hampton Inn. Our goal is to do a health, wealth, and self with a community to get us all together. It's the day away with the people who just get it. This is a conference that came out of us just wanting to help our friends. We knew what the power of having a community could do, and we wanted to bring that local. I myself had that national option through my online coaching and how we bring that back in person. We realize that a lot of women, especially, will not take time for themselves. So this conference gives them permission to take the day away and just focus on them. We also are offering CME credit too because we know that our women physicians are always trying to get things.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

If we've got to do something for work, if we're going to do it, we can get it paid for by the hospital system, so we are offering that as well. But there's going to be several different courses on things that are important. This is not a medical conference by any means. We know that you can learn about any medical disease by going to your respective conferences for your specialty. That's not what we wanted. We knew you could have a wellness session and just do 20 minutes of chair yoga in the middle of your day. That's not the most helpful. We want you in a room with the people who are going to support you and lift you up and empower you to do the things that you want to do. And so our sessions are going to be focusing on sleep, healthy eating habits during the day. Right now you barely have time to use the restroom, let alone eat, so how do we do some healthy snacks or lunches? What about sleep? We have our keynote speaker is Dr. Nancy Behrens with Novant. And she's going to be talking about the power of sleep and sleep tips and tricks for our physicians too. We know that that's huge.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

We're going to be doing mindfulness exercises. And something that I'm very passion about, as well as Dr. Consor is values. How do you find what your values are? Because once you figure out your values, you can learn to say yes and no to things and find the opportunities that align with your goals. And a lot of times, we don't get that training. We don't really sit down and put pen to paper and think about how do we say yes and no, and why do we say yes and no? We've been told for so long that there's a glass ceiling that we have to break as women. And we are moving and moving and moving and moving, and we're always seem to be two steps behind. And we're always saying yes to the next thing in the hopes it'll get us to the next level, but why are we saying yes to everything when it's depleting our energy stores and then not saying no to those things but only saying yes to those that give us energy rather than take away? And so the goal of this conference is to find out what's meaningful to you, who are the people who are going to support you, and how do you make friends out of this conference too, because I'm telling you, once you find your people, it is such a life-changing experience, and every day just gets easier.

Shane Tenny (:

I think what you're describing is so important. When I opened the show, I said, "We're talking about one of the most important things in all of life, and that is relationships." And what I think has begun to grow in our society as the internet has permeated everything, and we have the ability to know anything within a few seconds because I can Google it. There's an enormous difference between information and wisdom. And there's an enormous [crosstalk 00:22:55] between information and relationship. And so, to your point, anybody can Google information about diet or sleep or money or whatever, but being able to navigate those topics and those discussions with other people that you're in relationship and community and have some level of trust with is just so critical. Who are you hoping is going to be able to attend? Who is this for?

Stacy Goldbaum (:

So this is ideally for any women physician. We're specifically targeting local in Charlotte. We have opened a little bit to some outsiders too, but for our local North Carolina, South Carolina physicians, who are women, who've been working extremely hard, or they could be retired too. We're going early, mid, end career. Where are you in your life? I would love to meet mid- to end-career physicians and find out what they know. To your point about wisdom versus information, I want to know what they've experienced and what made them better and what regrets they have. And I can't do that by Googling. I will tell you that I was at a conference a few years ago pre-pandemic for women physicians, and I just happened to sit at a table for breakfast and spoke with another physician who was mid- to end-career. And I just happened to ask like, "What's your biggest regret?"

Stacy Goldbaum (:

And her answer really surprised me. She said, "I wish I would've been more physically active in front of my children." What? I thought you were going to say something about your practice or medicine, and it made a light bulb go off. Of course, we should be more physically active in front of our children. Right now, computers are in every single day at school, after school. How many of them are missing out on that activity? And if you would model that physical activity yourself, then they may be more active later. And that's when I started to take my health into consideration a little bit more. I can preach all day to my patients, but it's easier said than done. And so now that I'm doing it, I can definitely connect with my patients more. And that was just what one person just happened to say on the fly at a conference. So if that kind of wisdom is coming from just one person, what can we do at an interactive conference with different topics, where I want the participants to play a role in these sessions? It's not just us viewing a PowerPoint,

Shane Tenny (:

Right. The point here is the only source of change isn't the speaker at the front of the room

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Exactly. There's-

Shane Tenny (:

...but it's also the people around you and within you. Each person is bringing something.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Exactly. And I'm really excited about our last session that we're going to be doing is daily life hacks, with tips and tricks for each other. So say, as a mom, I use this meal service. There's a local Charlotte chef who makes meals and they deliver them to your house. Awesome. Let's get that one. Which cleaning services are you using, and how often are you doing it? What do you like for real estate investment? Are using a certain person? Just all these little things that add up, it's a work smarter, not harder kind of session. And I think there's so much power in coming together and sharing that knowledge and wisdom that you just can't get online.

Shane Tenny (:

Yeah. So you've got the scope of topics around wellness, and I guess the title is Cultivating Resilience. As you and your friends have been working on just the planning and the vision and things, what are you hoping that the attendees are going to leave with or take away with, or how are you hoping they'll be changed?

Stacy Goldbaum (:

I want them to leave feeling excited, excited about possibilities, and realizing something in themselves that they didn't know was there. So I want the light bulb to go off. I want to spark joy. I want there to be curiosity. I want there to be delight. I want there to be enchantment. These are all things that I want them to discover, and I want them to see where they go next. I want this to continue even after the conference, and I want little reunions, and I want us to be women who support each other in every endeavor. And from what I've seen so far with my past experiences, it's going to happen. It's not a matter of if, but when, and I'm hoping that it's instantaneous.

Shane Tenny (:

And I suspect, knowing your energy level and vision and the people that you're surrounding yourselves with, you haven't even pulled off the inaugural edition. And you're probably already having some ideas of, "Oh, in 2023, we could this sort of thing."

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Yes. So I will 100% say yes. We're always thinking. We're like, "Okay, we're going to do the first one in Charlotte for our friend. Then we're going to see what we learn and what we can do and work through some of these pieces. We have a little bit more grace. We know our local sponsors." But we know that the next one is going to be big. I've already heard from a nurse practitioner who wants to be involved. And right now, this one's just for physician and so how do we open up that to larger categories and include more people? It's been a wonderful journey and to be with Dr. Schacter and Dr. Consor, they've been friends for a long time, and I just feel so grateful that they've let me into their circle. So now we're a little threesome instead of a duo of friends, but their experience and their knowledge and wisdom they shared with me has been phenomenal.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

And the idea that I had to get a conference together was there. I just didn't know how to go about it. And they brought me in and lifted me up. And the one thing that I have learned is, don't think, just do. An object in motion stays in motion. You just have to start somewhere. You just have to start. Even if you don't know the answers, you'll figure it out. And that's what we've done so far, and it's been so much fun. I feel like myself again for the first time in a very long time.

Shane Tenny (:

That's fantastic. Now, I'm thinking there may be somebody listening to our conversation today in another part of the country and thinking "I want to do something like this too." Well, what's your word of wisdom to them, either where to get started or maybe something to avoid or something to definitely plug into their thinking early on?

Stacy Goldbaum (:

So I would say, just from the experience right now, start local. Find your group of people, see what the interest is. Is there a niche that you can find that you think they need? And if so, start with a dinner. Just invite them to dinner or drinks or an event on a weekend and just have a conversation and see where it takes you, because it will take you farther than you ever expected. I started this just wanting to make a friend and explore Charlotte. And now I'm creating and co-hosting a conference with two other amazing friends that I never would've met had I not started a happy hour event several years ago when I didn't know anyone. And now I have all these people in my corner that I wasn't expecting, so you never know. And so I'd say start with one event and see where it takes you.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

And of course, if anyone has any questions about how to go through with a conference, I'd be happy to assist and give you my experience in where to go from here because there's a lot of learning involved. I am now getting a lot better at Squarespace and making a website and learning the ins and outs. And my husband has a history of graphic design, and he's making me do everything. And he helps me troubleshoot if I hit a dead end, which I love him for. He knew to push me to do that, but I'm definitely learning Squarespace. We learned how to find and have CME. How do you even have CME for a course? And so we've learned that piece, trying to figure out how to book, what size you want, and where do you order certain items from? So we're having running to-do lists all the time. We're meeting very frequently, emailing, texting almost daily. And so there's a lot of effort that goes into this, but if it wasn't fun, we wouldn't be doing it. And so I hope that everyone who finds their passion just has fun. We don't always get that in the day to day, and this is so enjoyable.

Shane Tenny (:

It is exciting. So I got one more question for you, but before I go there, say again, what's the website in case we've got folks listening that are close enough, they might be able to attend? Where do they go to learn more, sign up, and things like that?

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Sure. So our website is crretreat.com. [crosstalk 00:31:07]-

Shane Tenny (:

Okay [crosstalk 00:31:07] cultivatingresilienceretreat.com.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Yep, CRretreat.com, and we are also on Twitter and Instagram accounts as well, which will be CRretreat. For those who do end up joining and attending, we will have a private VIP Facebook group to a join as well for attendees to get you knowing each other ahead of time. But the CR retreat will be the good jumping off point. You can see our agenda and what the plans are. Our hotel is going to be listed there too for a hotel discount at the Hampton Inn, and we just want to have fun and enjoy. So come one, come all. Bring your friends. The more the merrier.

Shane Tenny (:

That's great. And again, it's May 17th.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

May 14th.

Shane Tenny (:

May 14th, sorry.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

The Saturday, yep.

Shane Tenny (:

Gotcha. Yeah. May 14th. All right, last question, Stacy. I've learned over the years that people that do awesome things like you're talking about, don't do it alone. We're all learning and growing and building on the shoulders of those who've gone before. So this is your chance to give a shout-out. Who's been inspirational in your life and where you are today that you'd like to shout out here on the Prosperous Doc Podcast?

Stacy Goldbaum (:

All right. So now I'm going to have to definitely make sure she listens. So when I was in college, I met my best friend, Dr. Lexi Alexandra Manx. We just happened to meet and work on a research project together, and she has been my ride or die since then. She has read every personal statement that I had from med school residency fellowship. We love each other, support each other. She is actually one of the co-founders of shemd.org, which I know you all have featured before. Their organization works with medical students and trainees in getting them into a community of women as well. They are always looking for writers for their blog posts, and they really do a lot of research into what it means to be a female physician in medicine today. But just aside from her doing that piece, Lexi's the person who would drop everything she's doing to come help and support you. And from day one, we became instant friends. And I could ask her any question for help, and she will be my first person, my cheerleader all the time. She is like a sister more than a friend, and so that's my little shout-out to my girlfriend, Lexi.

Shane Tenny (:

Awesome. Well, thanks so much, Stacy. Great to have you on the show. Excited for all you're doing in the community you're building in Charlotte.

Stacy Goldbaum (:

Thank you so much for having me. This was a lot of fun.

Shane Tenny (:

Absolutely. Thank you so much for listening to the Prosperous Doc Podcast. Great to have you here. We also are on most of social media channels as well. And if you have ideas for topics you'd like us to explore or people that you know have a story worth telling, you can email me directly Shane@whitecoatwell.com. Thanks. We'll see you back here next time.

Voiceover (:

This episode of the Prosperous Doc Podcast is over, but you're not alone on your journey. Spaugh Dameron Tenny has been helping physicians and dentists prosper through financial planning for over 60 years. To connect with us, visit SDTplanning.com today and take your financial wellness to new levels. Join us on the next episode of the Prosperous Doc Podcast.