Shownotes
Are you exhausted but still convincing yourself you should be able to handle it all? What if your burnout isn’t just stress — but a nervous system warning sign that it’s time to let go?
In this episode, we explore the hidden link between burnout, nervous system dysregulation, and your resistance to delegating. If all roads in your business or leadership role still lead to you — and it’s costing your sleep, sanity, and success.
You’ll learn:
- Learn the difference between nervous system burnout and everyday overwhelm — and how to tell what your body is really asking for.
- Discover how hiring an OBM or VA isn't just about productivity — it's about reclaiming nervous system space and emotional bandwidth.
- Hear the truth about control, capacity, and why doing it all yourself may be blocking the ease and growth you’re craving.
Connect with Amelia:
https://www.instagram.com/at.obm/
Book - Somatic Intelligence for Success
Nervous system alignment to prevent burnout and leave an impact.
Regulation Cheat Sheet PDF
Learn to regulate with practices you'll actually use. No need for more time, space or privacy. Download here.
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This podcast explores the intersection of sales, money, and business success, offering entrepreneurial insights on overcoming the inner critic, burnout, and the unique challenges of ADHD and autoimmune conditions, while integrating polyvagal theory, Ayurveda, coaching, resilience, regulation, and trauma healing to support holistic growth and thriving in both life and business.
Transcripts
📍 Welcome Amelia. Can you just start by sharing a little bit about what an OBM does and how you support business owners? OBM also known as Online Business Manager. So I mean, there's a lot of online businesses out there, and basically I help entrepreneurs, streamline their operations, manage teams and improve their processes so that they can focus on growth and achieve like long-term success.
And I'm more of a behind the scenes worker. So I will take your brand, your voice, your product and carry it over to your team. And, yeah. So how would I know that I'm ready to bring on an OBM? When you start to realize that, all roads are leading to you and you don't want them to, you want to be able to focus.
Maybe you wanna focus more on your personal life being with your family, or maybe you wanna focus more on focus the product or service that you started your business for. Or maybe you've realized that throughout business you, that you're like, this is my one strength and this is what I wanna spend most of my time on.
Whether that's finding clients, networking, that type of thing, or being one-on-one with your clients. Then that is when you would want an OBM. Also if you, if you wanna scale and like grow a team, and you want some more, you want your team to be more autonomous from you. So then there's the difference between what is nervous system dysregulation and overwhelm, and you're getting overwhelmed at things that you don't need to be getting overwhelmed.
That like for, I just got off a call with a client and she is feeling really overwhelmed because what. Basically, she's got a lot of things to do, but the thing that's making it hard is that she's comparing herself to everybody else and she's really afraid of failure, and she's really afraid of what people will think of her.
So when she starts thinking about all of the things that she has to do now, it's like this big mountainous problem. Mm-hmm. When actually it's not. So how I think what I would love for listeners to come away from, I'll share my opinion afterwards, but how, how do you. I think people can differentiate between, I'm just overwhelmed that therefore I need like nervous system capacity work versus I'm overwhelmed.
I need an OBM. I think if you're at the point where you're like, I cannot go one more day like this, I cannot, I need to make a change now. I think that's when you can safely, when you find someone that you trust, then you could safely offload those, those tasks that are causing you stress to somebody else.
And it's gonna give you the immediate relief and also long-term relief. Right. But I feel like the nervous system regulation kind of goes hand in hand with like knowing when to release those kind of things. So it's like. I had a consultation with, somebody and they were basically like, like they had this thought that they need my service, but then they also had this thought that like, oh, I can do it all myself though, you know?
So it's like they're, they're in this like, cycle of burnout and dysregulation and they think that they could do it all themselves and they think that they need to because it's kind of like a pride thing. So it's like. They don't wanna let go. But once they learn how to regulate themselves and they learn how to let go of these things that they don't have to spend all of their time doing, because that's not where, you know, like that's not the best thing for their business or for their life, then they can actually let go and be like, okay, please help me.
You know, it's just like when people need to, understand and know when, when to ask for help. Yeah, totally, because, so the thing that I come back to is that. If you're choosing between the two, number one, you probably don't need to be two. Both will help because whatever we want, like more money, we wanna increase our capacity and increasing our capacity to have more of what we want means letting go of some things.
For my client this morning, it was letting go of comparison and you know, a memory from when she was much younger around being invalidated and that freed up emotional space for her to look at her to-do list. And then there is also the understanding that you are one person with one day and you do have a limited capacity.
So depending on your actual to-do list mm-hmm. And what your desires and expectations are, you might need somebody else to get in there and help with some of the to-dos and it, but it's a, a regulated system, one that is confident in themselves, knows when that moment is, and it feels like. I feel like for me, when I've seen it in my clients and I've seen it in myself, getting support doesn't feel like I'm trying to alleviate myself from a fear of failure or alleviate myself from.
From some discomfort, it's like I'm getting support because it feels really good to feel, and I'm really confident that I know what I need to know about my work, and I know how to lead this person and I trust this person and I trust their opinions and I also trust myself to correct them when they need support.
Mm-hmm. And be a good leader and a good like partner or boss, depending on how the dynamic is. That's where the just, that's where the healing and the regulation comes in. Yes. I, I had a conversation, during a consultation and it was, she was like, I present myself to be very put together on the outside.
Yeah. But I am a mess. Yeah. On the inside. And she was basically like, I don't like letting people know this. But for some reason. I'm okay with telling you this. And I was like, well, that makes me feel good. Yeah. And so that's a place where it's like, no, what she needs is probably both. She needs you to come in, but she also needs to have the somatic regulating trauma healing, you know, the body-based business methodology to be like, okay, like, whew, I got this.
It's safe to be seen. Amelia is not judging me. Like, here's what I am comfortable sharing. Here's what I'm not comfortable sharing. Like I remember when I first needed help with my money, like getting an accountant and help, it was so petrifying for me, right? And it was like, I literally cannot do this by myself.
And I got a whole lot of emotions and shame that I need to be with. To feel okay, right. Letting this person in, right. Especially like when we talk about like, efficiency in business, it's like a lot of people are afraid that I'm, well, they're not ready to take, take any criticism. So they're afraid I'm just gonna come in, I'm gonna criticize 'em, I'm gonna judge them, and then they're gonna feel offended by the end of it.
But it's like, no, you brought me, you have this problem. I want you to not have this problem. I want to confront it straight on. I'm not gonna beat around the bush. I'm gonna tell you this is what you need and this is how it needs to happen. And there's no shame in that because if you ask for my help, I wanna help you and I'm not gonna mess around about it.
Yeah, a hundred percent. And so they need the capacity. Like you need the capacity to be with feedback.
Yeah, that's the whole point. Isn't that like, who was that person that was like, go, I was just like, we're not meant to do this alone. You know what I mean? Hundred percent. Yeah. Like it's, it seems very lonely at times, especially 'cause you start this business, you have this idea. You, you start it, you know, there's this whole like, you know, you don't get a special award for doing it all yourself.
I'm, I'm just gonna say that right out, but, but like, but you, in some people they think that they do, you know, they're like, oh, well I did this all of myself. It's like, well actually. If you asked for help, and if you relied on the community around you, then like you would probably be in a better place, a higher place, a safer place, a happier place.
But one thing that, I one of my, consultations, she was like, I, this would be like giving you my baby. Mm-hmm. And I was like, and what is wrong with that? And she was like, well, like it is. It's my baby. It's this thing, you know? I was like, businesses are like babies. Mm-hmm. And it takes a village, you know?
Mm-hmm. Like it takes a village to raise this child, and the child benefits from the village. It benefits from all these different perspectives. So why would you deprive your child? Why would you deprive your business of all of this knowledge and growth? It when it's surrounded by this village. So good.
All right, moving on. So I wanna talk real quick about the money situation. Do you ever, I know that you and I spoke a little bit ago around Yeah. What's the biggest like, money block that you see people come into when they're coming, considering your services? Yeah, they're like, that's a lot of money.
Why, why would I need you? I
and it's like.
You're hiring me because of my knowledge and my skills and, you know, and what I bring to the table. And not just to be your assistant to put in numbers and do a spreadsheet and stuff like that. Well, it's, it's good to have those. 'cause then, you know, if you bring someone in like me, then I can delegate to them and I could figure out what, you know, tasks they should be doing that the business owner should be, shouldn't be doing. I have a lot of experience in doing this. Working with teams, delegating teams, creating training and standard operating procedures, and also taking procedures that they maybe already have and refining them down to make it more efficient and more understandable.
So, so that when they bring more team members on, then everyone knows what they're doing. It's very clear. Yeah. Your skill is really in actually creating the business structure behind everything so that the founder, the leader can be the, the speaker have, have it running. They can be the visionary. They can.
Exactly. I think that's what a lot of people really want and. What I was thinking when I was hearing you speak was that when we take actions from fear, we create more scarcity and pain.
So it's like if you hire the cheap VA that. That, and what you want is beyond their skillset, you have to spend all your time managing them now and getting bad quality work. Right. Whereas if you just hire the person that's really good at it, then now you actually do have energy freed up from day one, right?
Which is Right. What want, when you're want, when you're hiring me, you're hiring a decision maker. Yeah. Somebody that can work while you are doing other things that you deem more important. So while you're spending time with your family, I can make decisions on what is happening based off of your vision, based off of what you want your company to be, what your services are, what your product is.
Yeah. I think that's the biggest thing. If I was to give one piece of advice to anyone who's hiring somebody, hire somebody who will make fucking decisions. 'cause your capacity to make decisions is one of the limited things that your brain has. Like, you actually can't, like there is a limit. I think there was a study, 35,000 PE decisions a day is the amount of decisions a founder makes.
Mm-hmm. You cannot make more decisions. Right. You can't hire somebody that expects you to make decisions. And I've been there and did not last very long. Right. And the other thing is like, it's like I'm not here to bleed you dry. I'm not here to just take your money. You know, if I notice that you are use, trying to use me for tasks that are.
📍 Below, like not in my scope of work. Yeah, and that would be better for an assistant.
Oh, great. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your thoughts. Do you have any final. Thoughts that you think would be helpful for somebody who's clicked on this, who is like M up do, do I need to outsource? If you already know that you are tired of all roads leading to you, you are tired of you being like everyone just coming to you and you have no break, then book a consultation with me.
D me on Instagram, we'll see if we can work together if we're a good fit.