Welcome to Trail Markers—short stops on your leadership path to pause, reflect, and reset.

In this 10-minute mini workshop, we introduce one of the simplest and most powerful leadership tools we teach: the Above/Below the Line model.

Join Anique and Leah, co-founders of Gather and Grow, for a reflective coaching moment designed to help you build empowered leadership in real time—especially in fast-moving or high-pressure moments.

You’ll learn:

• What it means to lead from above vs. below the line
• Why reactivity is human—but awareness is leadership
• A simple practice to check in with yourself throughout the day

📝 Want to go deeper? Download the companion guide with reflection prompts and visuals.

🔗 Explore how our work brings people and systems back into alignment so growth feels clear, shared, and sustainable

Anique Coffee (0:2.680)

Welcome. We are so glad you're here. We're the team behind Gather and Grow. I'm Anik and this is Leah. And we support leaders and their teams to navigate complexity, strengthen their culture and grow with intention. We support organizations at their really pivotal growth moments when leadership feels stretched and culture showing its cracks and operations aren't keeping pace. And our work brings people and systems back into alignment.

so that growth feels clear, shared, and sustainable. And today, we just wanted to give you a short session, a bit of a taster of the kind of reflective leadership practice that we help leaders build into their work, because we know leadership isn't just about what you're doing, it's how you're doing it too.

Leah Zalinski (0:57.685)

The leaders we work with want to build companies. They want to build teams and cultures with care, but they're stretched. They're feeling really pulled and sometimes that can turn into reactivity. Empowered leadership is all about learning to pause, finding yourself in the chaos and choosing how you want to show up. Leading with intention is a way that's different from how most leaders have been taught. And it requires you to rethink some of the habits that you've developed over time.

Anique Coffee (1:28.172)

And for that noticing and that learning and that growth moment, we want to introduce you to a tool. It's one of the simplest tools we teach and one of the most effective. And the idea is that at any moment, you're either leading from above the line where you're open, curious learning, or below the line where you're defensive, reactive, and just committed to being right. And this tool is as simple as it sounds, a horizontal line.

and you can either be above or below. And being below the line doesn't make you a bad leader, it actually makes you human. This model is very much based in our human condition and the way that our brains work. And the key is just noticing where you are and choosing what to do with that awareness.

Leah Zalinski (2:13.716)

So Anik, tell me a little bit more. What are some of the signs about what it means to be either above or below the line? How do you recognize that in the moment?

Anique Coffee (2:23.756)

Well, at any given moment, whether you're in a team meeting, a tough conversation, reviewing your inbox, you're either above or below the line. It happens all the time. And we're hopping above and below the line within the same conversation sometimes. So that movement is really natural, but some ways that you can kind of notice where you're at and locate yourself as a leader is to kind of tap into how you're feeling. So if you're above the line, you are curious and open.

You have a sense of feeling a bit grounded. There's a willingness to learn and to see possibility. And it's where you can really access your compassion and your big picture thinking. So that's being above the line.

Leah Zalinski (3:5.596)

some examples of that. How do you see that coming to life with some of our clients and some of the experiences that we've witnessed in our work?

Anique Coffee (3:14.240)

Yeah, there's many different situations that leaders get into every day. And it's kind of giving them a choice to be uh in sort of a sense of reactivity, like you mentioned before, or in this ability to see possibility. So say a founder gets tough feedback from their team, and instead of getting defensive, they get curious and they say, tell me more, what's behind that? Or one of our clients, team, she kind of leads a high stakes meeting.

And she notices the stress rising and she pauses before she responds and chooses to ask a clarifying question instead of shutting down ideas. And that's a really great example of being above the line. Again, stepping into that curiosity, but also the pause that means she's able to see what's coming and have that bigger picture thinking. um And another one is, you know, when leaders just take responsibility, this idea of taking responsibility instead of finding problems for a misstep without blame.

And without, you know, seeing the problem, they use it as a coaching opportunity for the team.

Leah Zalinski (4:18.910)

That sounds great. Now, take me below the line. What happens when somebody finds themselves on the other side of that line?

Anique Coffee (4:22.263)

Hahaha!

Anique Coffee (4:26.126)

Yeah, asking for a friend. um When you're below the line, you are in that kind of reactivity that we've mentioned. You're feeling pretty defensive. You're probably a bit closed off. You're really focused on being right. And what this really means is that you're operating from fear or ego. And that's often really unconscious. You know, we can't really connect to that in the moment sometimes. That's what's happening. We're afraid. And some real life examples of that one are when a manager

dismisses a team member's concern in the middle of a meeting because it's challenging their authority or threatens the timeline or even threatens their limelight. Or perhaps a co-founder assumes the worst about their business partner's silence in a decision-making process. Rather than asking questions, being patient, they go quiet and they micromanage. I think I've been there in that place before. That's silent treatment.

Um, and often sometimes you can see the, below the line is really when a leader spending energy justifying, right? They're, they're talking a lot, they're filling the space, they're justifying a decision rather than acknowledging the impact and just moving the conversation forward. So it's really when you notice that reactivity, that defensiveness, that focus on being right.

Leah Zalinski (5:39.016)

Yeah. Why is it so hard for us to stay above the line? We've been doing this leadership thing for a long time, but we do it too. Why is it so hard?

Anique Coffee (5:43.406)

Thank

Anique Coffee (5:49.324)

Because it's natural, it's human, and either unconsciously or consciously, going below the line is coming from a place of self-protection. But the truth is, when we're role modeling this human-centered leadership, we don't need to operate from the fear place or be unprotective. We're in it together. But our brains are wired to protect us. So even when the threat is to our identity or our role or our safety at work, it makes us go below the line. It's totally natural.

So the key isn't to never go below, it's just to notice when you do and then get curious about it. I wonder why that's happening. And that's where the shift happens. That's where, you know, empowered leadership really begins.

Leah Zalinski (6:31.624)

We know that habits are built from small steps. What are some small shifts that can happen with leaders showing up in hard conversations or hard decisions and making the choice in advance to show up differently?

Anique Coffee (6:44.950)

Yeah, one of the things that's really helpful with this model is we have the above, we have the below, but the line actually represents a pause. It's a moment when you can make a decision to show up differently. And what's happening below the line is reacting, this reactivity. And what's happening above the line is an intentional responding. And so sometimes that small shift could literally be the pause. It's the taking the moment to let the silence be the silence. That could be a short pause.

Or it could be a, hey, can I take five minutes to process this? Or, hey, can we talk about this tomorrow? But that's a really easy small shift to step into kind of showing up with a bit more intention and living above the line in your leadership is just the pause.

Leah Zalinski (7:29.029)

How have you seen this have an impact on the team? I imagine that somebody showing up in this little way is going to have an impact. What generally is the impact on other members of the team beyond just leadership?

Anique Coffee (7:42.232)

There's a real opportunity cost to reactivity in the workplace. It, it slows people down. It makes all of us kind of question what's happening and assess the situation. So even when a leader or someone on your team is responding with reactivity, it has a ripple effect across the team. And so as a leader who's supposed to be role modeling this practice and role modeling how to show up when you role model the pause and role model being above the line that has a positive ripple effect.

rather than an opportunity cost on your team. So when you lead with more intention, when you lead with a pause, when you stay above the line, the team can feel that. And it takes the reactivity out of the system and keeps people in flow, keeps people feeling empowered and productive and things moving in the right direction instead of the fear of what could be happening below the surface.

Leah Zalinski (8:33.576)

Yeah. Do you think it's possible to be an empowered leader and still get frustrated or have reactive moments?

Anique Coffee (8:42.466)

Does a bear poop in the woods?

Leah Zalinski (8:44.504)

Yeah

Anique Coffee (8:46.062)

Yes, it's very possible to be an empowered leader and still get frustrated and reactive because we're humans after all. This being above and below the line is just a human thing. And this is a leadership model that we use in the workplace, but you can use it in every part of your life too. You could start to notice this above the line or below the line behavior, even in your own home, because it's with us everywhere. So yes, you can be an empowered leader and still get frustrated, still get reactive.

Leah Zalinski (8:54.428)

Yes, sir.

Anique Coffee (9:15.414)

It's how you use that frustration and that reactivity in the moment that can really make the difference.

Leah Zalinski (9:22.760)

And it really is just that moment of pause. Thank you so much for all of that feedback. Here at Gather and Grow, we encourage growth through learning and reflective practices like this one, but we also empower leaders to gather with their people and practice this as well. So one simple way that you can make this as part of your daily leadership rhythm is at the top of the hour, get in the habit of noticing, pausing, resetting your posture and noticing.

Are you above the line or are you below the line? Just that little moment of reflective practice through the day helps keep your head in the right space with a little bit of intention for you to go about your day.

Anique Coffee (10:4.490)

Love that. Amazing. Well, we love reflecting here at Gather and Grow as well. So we want to leave you with a couple of things. There's some reflective spaces that we'd love for you to create to kind of integrate some of this learning. So integrate or sit with your learnings. And we encourage you to take five or 10 minutes after the session and just reflect. You'll find a downloadable overview below with a recap of the concept and some journal prompts to guide your next step.

So spend some time, just have a little bit of a think about this. Spend some time writing or thinking. If you can get away from screens, please do go on a walk, have a little think and let us know what comes up for you. We'd love to know.

As we said, we help leaders build teams rooted in awareness, intentionality and growth. This session is just a glimpse of how we approach the work, reflective, practical, but really grounded in the belief that how we show up matters. If you're curious to go deeper, join us for one of our monthly sessions at the Lookout or reach out to explore how we can support your team's growth. Thanks for joining us today.

Thanks everyone.