The paramount theme of today's discourse centers upon the intricate and multifaceted nature of recovery from addiction, a subject that profoundly affects innumerable individuals yet remains shrouded in silence and stigma. In our conversation, I spoke with Eric Kennedy, a strong advocate in this area. With over 15 years of sobriety, he's been a beacon of hope through his initiatives, including Recovery Vow, a movement dedicated to dismantling the stigma around addiction. Eric's work isn't just about personal success; it's about building a community where vulnerability replaces shame and authentic connections replace isolation, offering support to those navigating their own recovery journeys. Throughout this episode, we will traverse the emotional landscapes of recovery, exploring the profound significance of shared narratives and the transformative power they wield in instigating healing and providing solace to the afflicted. Join us as we explore this dialogue to deepen understanding and compassion.

This episode serves as a vibrant tapestry interwoven with narratives of loss, hope, and the relentless pursuit of recovery, as Eric Kennedy shares his monumental journey from the depths of addiction to a life of purpose and community service. Hosted by Rev. Dr. Keith Haney, the conversation captures the essence of recovery, presenting it as a holistic experience rather than merely a cessation of substance use. Eric, with his extensive experience and the founding of Recovery Vow, passionately advocates for a paradigm shift in how society perceives addiction—transforming it from a stigmatized plight into a shared human experience that encompasses resilience and growth. The dialogue invites listeners to confront their own perceptions and biases, emphasizing that recovery is an ongoing journey that transcends individual stories and touches the lives of many. As the discussion unfolds, listeners are treated to Eric's candid reflections on the power of community and the crucial role it plays in the recovery process. He eloquently articulates that while addiction often fosters isolation, recovery thrives in connection—where sharing stories of struggle and triumph creates a tapestry of hope and healing. Eric's initiatives, such as his podcast and community workshops, are manifestations of his belief in the restorative power of storytelling. This episode not only illuminates the path of recovery but also encourages a collective responsibility to foster environments where individuals can embrace their vulnerabilities. Ultimately, it serves as a heartfelt reminder that through honesty, connection, and faith, the journey of recovery can lead to profound transformations, not only for individuals but for entire communities.

Takeaways:

• The podcast explores the concept of recovery, emphasizing its significance in combating the stigma surrounding addiction and fostering a supportive environment for those in need.
• Eric Kennedy, our esteemed guest, highlights the importance of sharing honest and raw stories in the recovery journey, as they serve as powerful instruments for healing and connection.
• The discussion reveals that everyone is, in some capacity, in a state of recovery from various life challenges, thus underscoring the universality of this experience.
• Recovery is not merely about overcoming addiction, but rather about embracing a transformative journey that integrates faith, community, and personal growth.
• A poignant moment arises when Eric shares that if we were judged solely by our worst days, we would never be afforded the opportunity to showcase our best selves.
• The conversation culminates in a call to action for listeners to engage with their own narratives, fostering a culture of vulnerability that can replace shame with connection.

Links referenced in this episode:

• recoveryvow.com
• stevenscreekchurch.com
• marriageafteraddiction.com

Mentioned in this episode:

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And build pathways toward deeper understanding. I AM your host, Reverend Dr. Keith Haney.

Today we're talking about something that touches countless lives, but too often stays hidden behind silence and stigma. Recovery. Our guest today, Eric Kennedy, is a powerful voice in this space.

Eric is over 15 years sober, serves on the staff at a church, and is the founder of Recovery Vow, a growing movement that includes his book, his podcast, and his new community called the Collective.

His mission, to break the stigma around addiction by sharing real, relatable stories, not just about substance abuse, but about the full spectrum of recovery journeys.

In his first year of podcasting, eric reached over 3 million people, organically built a community of over 20,000 followers, and funded his book entirely through pre sales. But more importantly, he's building a space for Vulnerability replaces shame, connection replaces isolation, and testimony becomes a tool for hope.

We welcome Eric to the podcast. How you doing today, my friend?

I'm doing good, Dr. Haney. I feel like I need to go ahead and just venmo you $1,000 for that. That sounded really good. When you read just makes me.

It gives me some gratitude when I hear it kind of read out loud like that. So thank you for saying that. But, yeah, I need to send you something for that.

No, I thank you for what you're doing. Well, the blessings we. We get from our work that we do, I think is. Is reward enough.

But I'm so glad to have you on because what you're doing in this space, in this time is so critical and so valuable.

Well, I. I really appreciate that. Yeah. Oftentimes people, they. They hear addiction recovery and, And. And they do kind of go hand in hand. But the addiction is the dark stuff.

You know, it's the stuff that nobody's wanting to talk about, or there's. There's. There's ways that people work through addiction. Recovery is the beautiful part. And that's where people. They get the help that they need.

But then there's just. I feel like there's ongoing touch points that we will always need that just reminds us of how awesome life is, even in the hard times.

But I think that's what recovery does for people is it just gives them a life that they never expected back or kind of restores it.

And it fits so beautifully into the work the church does, because honestly, we're all about recovery. It's the old man and the new man, the broken versus the healed, the journey to forgiveness that Christ offers.

So it fits so beautifully with our own personal faith stories.

That's right. And when we say the Word recovery. People think, oh, he's talking about drugs and alcohol. And you're right.

But I think if you think about it and you look in the room, I say this often, if you really think about it, everybody's in some kind of recovery from something. Could be loss of a family member, could be job change, could be process addiction, could be drugs and alcohol addiction. But I think there's.

If everybody really thought hard about it, if you took all your problems and laid them on the table, you're wanting recovery from some of those problems and you quickly pull them back when you see other people's problems too, on the same table. But I think we're all in some kind of recovery.

Exactly. So I'm going to ask you my favorite question, Eric. What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

If we were all judged on our worst day, we would never have the opportunity to show our best.

Love that.

Yeah, that was a little nugget. It's actually a church story. I've been working for Stevens Creek Church.

I've been serving here for 13 years, 14 years, been on staff for almost 11 years. And we had a guy that left the church and then was coming back.

But there were just kind of stipulations around that and it was a different circumstance. It's the only situation I've ever dealt with in my tenure here that had that kind of a situation. And it wasn't bad, but we were just guarded.

And I remember asking my Boss, Pastor or Dr. Marty Baker, and I said, what do we do with this kind of situation? And he said that to me in an email. And so that's. It's been a part. It's on my email signature now.

So if I send anybody something or if I speak on a stage or on a platform like yours, Dr. Haney, it's going to be something that when I get asked that question, that's going to always be my go to because that's what happened for me. If I was judged on my worst day, I would never have the opportunity to show my best. And my best is so much better than my worst.

And the bad thing about our worst days in this day and age, in this section, this time, this kairos is sometimes your worst day is now on tape and it's on social media and it gets sent around the world before you could even stop and go. That was a really dumb thing to do.

You know, sometimes our mistakes, when I'm almost 60, my mistakes may be limited to just a few friends who were there with me and we swear each other to secrecy, but now we like to tape our mistakes.

Yeah, I mean, you're absolutely right. I've been in recovery or walking in my recovery now for September will be 16 years.

But just in the last 10 years, I mean, the iPhone 13 just came out, right? Or 17, whatever it is. I mean, so even when I got into recovery, recovery, you're talking about, you know, being almost 60, I'm almost 50.

And how much has just changed in 10 years? I mean, so it's going to be quick, quick, quick, quick, Even quicker now for folks.

But yeah, it was kind of, it was easier to hide stuff back in the day, but I guess back in the day, I'm just saying like a decade ago. But. But yeah, you're right, it's going to get out there really fast now.

Right. So you've made testimonies about the heartbeat of your message. What do stories, raw, unpolished, honest stories.

How much weight and power does that carry toward healing and hope?

Well, it's funny that you bring that up. A lot of folks when they go through treatment, they'll find a 12 step program. That's what happened for me.

I went through a 12 step program after going to treatment. And in that 12 step program we're taught to be anonymous. And I did that and I respected that.

But in that anonymity, when I was at treatment, we would have people that came into the treatment center and they would share their story.

Say an Eric came and a Dr. Haney came and they'd just gotten off of work and they take time out of their day and their night to come and speak to people that needed to hear and they just needed to see what recovery does look like once you can have a life after this. And I say all that to, to just talk about.

Not that everybody's going to agree with this, but I truly believe that anonymity has to be broken in order for people to relate. It comes from the power of somebody's story, their testimony. You can only have a test, a testimony with a test. And I think we've all been tested.

But I don't understand why there's just got to be such secrecy around that. Or it's not shame, it's like the right to be anonymous. Like, I don't want you knowing my stuff. That's true, you can do that.

But for me, it just helped me walk in the recurring. I think new thoughts need to be talked about and new things need to be tried. I don't think that 12 step programs are the only way.

I think some people go to church and they. They have a higher power that they call God. And that happened for me. And then I was, you know, baptized at this church that I found, and.

And now I work for this church. But it was because I broke my anonymity. My story got told.

And then when my story got told, other people started coming to me and they were like, hey, will you help me walk through my thing? Or, hey, can you help my son or daughter now? Yes, we can, but it's only if they're ready for the help.

But, yeah, I truly believe in sharing your story and breaking your anonymity to reach people.

I always get this.

A lot of times when I work with people, try and get them to share their story, they'll say that my story isn't big enough or my story is not bad enough to be worthy. What do you say to someone who says their story is not significant enough to be told and to make a difference in somebody else's life?

Well, it could be this part of the plan, like, you're having an opportunity now to face consequences or walk through situations before your story gets bigger. You know, you can wait. You know, we can just talk about it now and then and just see how much more worse it gets.

But I think you have a huge opportunity.

It's kind of like the story where a flood was coming and the waters rise and they got out of the house and they went on the roof and the police came to save them. And they said, no, no, no, the Lord's going to take care of me or I'm going to figure this out.

The waters rose even higher and they went higher up on the roof. And then, you know, helicopter came and was going to rescue him and save them. No, no, no, I got this. It's not that bad yet.

The Lord will take care of it. And then they drown and they get to heaven. And then it's like God asked him or they asked God, you know, why didn't you.

Why didn't you take care of me? And he said, well, I did. I sent a police fire and a helicopter. And you didn't take that opportunity. So it kind of goes back to that. If you.

If you want to use, like, a metaphor, why sit around and wait for your story to get worse or not believe that this is a calling on your life and an opportunity for you to walk out of something. God puts us in situations where Pastor Marty says this all the time.

But I thought about this the other day because it's true that we're either walking in something, we're in it, or we're walking out of something. And for people in recovery, we're often juggling more than one thing when we're in it. It could be multiple things.

It could be job change, you know, change in income or loss of a spouse and things like that. And, and, and that's where we're. We're trying to find a balance. And so why wait until it gets harder?

If you have an opportunity in the early stages to address something so your story doesn't have to be full of horror and weight in order to change somebody else's life, you can use the story you have now to do that. Does that kind of answer your question a little bit?

No, it does. And it reminds me of something you said earlier, too, about the stigma of addiction.

And I want to dig into that because a lot of times addiction does carry this heavy stigma, especially with us who are in faith communities that. That's really a big burden to carry. How do you help people break through that stigma in a healthy and compassionate way in the work that you do?

So the work that I do started out so my first marriage failed. And so the work that I do started out by helping the supportive spouse of someone that's walking in recovery. They often get forgotten about.

And so that's how I got to the point of writing the book Marriage After Addiction.

The stigma that goes with that is the addiction part is, you know, that people just view you as, you know, maybe the person that lives under the bridge or sleeps under a bridge, and the person that doesn't bathe and things like that or doesn't pay their bills isn't present, father, son, whoever. And I say all that because that was me. I mean, I don't know how people judge success. I don't judge it by income or clothes or anything like that.

I judge it by income impact and what you're doing to. To. To be better than what you were. And so you. You don't have to carry that. That stigma. It doesn't have to define you and our.

Our job as people in recovery. That's why I want to break anonymity, because if we break anonymity, then we get the opportunity to change the stigma.

And we show people there are many ways to get out of addiction. There's many ways to walk in recovery. Now, the other ways that I don't want to say the old ways, but those are great.

Those are great places to go, but not everybody's going to have Those thoughts. I don't believe that my higher power has to be a thing or a person or so I'm always push somebody's higher power to be God as they understand him.

But that's intimidating to people when they first get into recovery. But going back to your question about stigma is, I don't know exactly how you change that, but my point of view is we do that through other people.

We do that through showing people that we can be greater than the 10% that make it. And we have to do that by sharing what we went through.

I hate talking about the past because it just drums up different emotions that I'll carry the rest of the day sometimes. Or maybe it gives me certain dreams that I'll have at nighttime because I have a horrible past.

I slept under a bridge when I used to drink too much and lost my car. I used to walk down dirt roads, crashed my car, but I was still going into the coke man's house to get crack or whatever.

And so if I tell that story, people are going to look at me and define me or try to see me that way.

But it's going to be hard for them to do that if they just see this, this just tall guy that's maybe kind of well dressed because he's overcompensating for being bald and getting older. But, you know, it's because I want people to see what success looks like in recovery and not be judged by what addiction looks like in their past.

And again, the success isn't money or platform, anything like that. The success is the impact that we can make as people and men and women have an opportunity to do that for other men and women.

And we reach people through the stories that we had to walk through, but we got to share that and just break that stigma.

So what was the turning point in your own story?

I had a moment of clarity. It was one morning. It was a Thursday morning, and I was up early. I usually get up.

I was getting up early because my alcohol addiction had me to a point where I needed it in order to not have the shakes. I would start going into DTs early in the morning, but I would stay up late because I was snorting cocaine or smoking crack.

And so, I mean, probably, you know, after midnight, and then I was up at like five. So I was only. I was living off like four hours of sleep. But this one morning I had. I had gotten up and I had about a pint of alcohol left.

And I was going to. To get probably. I think it was like $60 worth of crack. And I was driving and I mentioned a dirt road a minute ago that was.

Cause I was thinking about this story. It's funny that you asked, but I was. I had a. I had a little car or a car. And it was raining and it was wet.

And I live in Georgia, so we have these Georgia clay dirt roads, you know. And I took these dirt roads to get to where I was going and I crashed my car.

And when I say crash, it was just like it slid off the main road into the ditch in this embankment. And I remember getting out and I hadn't bathed. I remember I smelled like I hadn't bathed in three days. I was wearing flip flops. It was raining.

And this mud started sticking my flip flops. Because I walked away from the car trying to go to maybe get somebody to help me pull the car out so I could go finish what I started.

And Dr. Haney, I remember walking back and I got about 500 yards away from the car and I found myself in the middle of this cotton field that had been, you know, cut. So it was kind of flat and the sun was coming up. And you know, the. Just outside was starting to get light. And I just remember I could start.

I could see a tree line. And it was. And it was just me out there in this big open space, but alone.

And I had moments of clarity in the past, but it was usually like if I was in jail, you know, I was like, okay, Lord, get me out of here. But this was just a time where there was nobody else around. It was just me.

And somebody did something that I would talk to every once in a while when I needed something. But this isn't because I needed something. This is when I wanted something. I wanted him.

And I said, lord God, if you're real, is this the way my life is supposed to be the rest of my life? I'm 30 years old, I'm in the middle of a field at 8 o' clock in the morning, 7:30 in the morning, and I'm on the way to get crack.

And I have an addiction. But Lord, is this what you have in store for me? And I expected when I looked at that tree line that you could just barely start to see.

Now, because the sun was coming up, I expected a flock of white doves to fly out of these Georgia pines, just like pollen was falling out of them. But that wasn't the case. And I expected the sun just to rise 30 seconds quicker and just, you know, the Lord would just do something.

And that didn't happen. But in that moment of clarity where I just, I did finally just reach out and I asked for help.

I was, I remember turning around and I went back to that car. I didn't find any help. But I remember walking along that dirt road and I saw this old shed like at a. We got a farm.

And so I went and I actually, it was like really old and the wood was, I was able to pull the wood off or I got inside on my hands and knees really and kicked the wood off from the inside. And I took that wood with me like a little bundle under my arm and.

And I knew if I got back to that car and I dug the mud out, I could get that wood shoved under the wheel or tire of that front wheel drive car and I, and I got out of there. I did. But I went straight on to where I wanted to go or where I thought I needed to go to support my habit.

The funny thing in that is that nothing happened when I asked for God to show me. But when I got back home, I had two cops show up. My little four foot mom and the mayor of the town where I was working for and they took me to jail.

And so my moment of clarity is where I was begging for God to step in. And I wanted it immediately. And it wasn't immediate, but he let me get that $60 worth of crack because that was what I needed.

He let me get what I needed and I drank that morning. And then when I got home I went to jail. And so I think about that as a moment of clarity because that's when my life changed. My life changed.

Not because I went to jail and not because I got to use for the last time or not because I got to drink.

It's because I had called that morning before I left for the, for the first time and actually talked to someone at a treatment center and said, hey, I have an addiction and I'm about to go use. I've tried to hurt myself. And so just like little things added up. And so when I got back and these cops showed up, I was able to show them the phone.

And it wasn't a smartphone, it was a flip phone. But I said, if you look at the numbers I've called this morning, I want to get help. And it was a tough love thing.

And they said, no, you're going to go to jail. And I went to jail for panhandling. I got to the point where I was borrowing money to support my habit and not paying it back.

And so it was Just orchestrated, right? So, I mean, I got to detox, a hard detox in jail. I got to see what that kind of looked like and be in that environment.

And I could be there for a long time if I went back out and I could die. I tried killing myself twice, Dr. Hanian. It didn't work.

But when I did get out, the judge said, you know, you called that number before you came here, and if you really mean it, you'll call it back and I'll give you 48 hours to find somewhere to go, or we're going to send you to prison for drug charges and all this other stuff. And so I did. And it wasn't because she told me I had to do that. It was because I still wanted to do that. I mean, I had enough of enough.

I mean, I was done. When I say done, I mean, I couldn't afford to get high anymore. I couldn't afford to get drunk anymore, because I needed more and more and more.

Not only was I borrowing from people that loved me and cared about me in this little town, And I couldn't kill myself.

I hate bringing that back up, but, I mean, I tried to hurt myself, and I woke up in hospitals, you know, and the last time I tried myself was, you know, I took a bunch of sleeping pills in that same trailer where I was talking about, and I went back on that morning, and I woke up the next morning like nothing. So that was. God had already stepped in. I just didn't know it yet. And he was waiting on me.

And as soon as I stopped trying to make decisions on my own and allowed him to step in and start making decisions is when my life started to change. Now, it took time.

None of it was immediate, but I believe that if the responsibility was given to me for the things that I had, even a year into my recovery or 16 years into it, if I'd have had this kind of responsibility, day one, week one, I'd have failed. I'd relapsed. And we're talking major life changes happening. After I got out of jail, I went to treatment for 30 days. I started working program.

I divorced my first wife because she was not on board with. Now we're friends now, and she may hear this podcast and it's going to be okay. I would say the same thing if she was in the room.

But I got full custody of our two children at nine months sober. So not only was I responsible for. For me, I was responsible for these two other little kids in diapers. And we started over from Scratch.

But I knew that God had a plan for my life. And I hadn't even been invited to church yet. I didn't do church, but I got invited to church for an Easter service.

And they said, just kind of come as you are and just experience. That was the first time I've ever been invited to church. And they use the word experience, not just attend.

And so when I got here, I remember sitting on the third row, and, man, I just. I cried like a baby. I was like, oh, my goodness. And it was all a part of a plan that he had orchestrated.

From me walking in that cotton field to going to jail, to being released, to go to treatment, to giving Cameron a Christian, and then to find a church that now I serve and work for and grow and be a part of. It's been insane to say it. And then you read a bio like you did. I didn't deserve any of this. And so this is what I want for other people.

It's a legacy change, right? It's a generational breaker, not a generational blamer. It's an opportunity to get people to understand that God has a plan for you.

God has a plan for your life. And if you're willing to do the work and get out of your own way, he'll take you to places you never thought, dreamed, or imagined.

And that's what he's done for me.

That's amazing. I'm curious as you tell me your story. You couldn't have done this without, first of all, God guiding it, but also support around you.

What kind of support did you get from family, friends, church on this journey? Because I'm sure there were temptations, as you said. Okay, I'm going to turn my life around to go back to the previous way of living.

What support did you get along the way to help you stay on the right path?

Well, I kind of smile a little bit when you ask that because nobody was helping me. I had burnt some bridges, man. My mom and dad, especially after the divorce, you know, we. We would go.

My mom would help me, you know, take care of the boys by buying some clothes, you know, plea markets and things like that. Because it was just. It was tough. But when I prove what I started to prove myself was through the amends I was making, it wasn't.

Apologies didn't stick anymore. You know what I mean? So I had to make amends now. I found new friends at the church. And it was new for me that. That was new for me.

These people didn't grow up where I grew up at as I had already defined them before I got here, if you know what I mean. And so when I walked through the doors, it was like, you better not put your hands in the air and praise and worship.

You better not grab a snake and bring it out. And if you speak in the spirit, I'm out the door.

So I mean, I had already set these barriers, but then, now we don't hold snakes or anything like that here, but we praise and worship. And I have spoken in the spirit now because I have this relationship with a higher power, but also the Holy Spirit that fills me.

And, and so that became my go to for support. And I know that sounds kind of cliche, but it had to become that one with me and God, as I understood in the beginning.

And then the relationships came to where I could ask for someone to talk to in a small group setting or you know, or talk to my pastor and things like that. And I had my mom. My mom's great. My family were, were encouraging and supportive.

But again, I had, I had, I had killed some relationships and it took time. And I know this is a kind of a cheesy acronym, but I love it. Time is things I must earn. And so I had to earn all of that, all of that back.

Even my ex wife, I mean, often have thought about, you know, what, what, what would these people be like if I wasn't in addiction?

Like, did I keep her from becoming a nurse or did I keep my mom from getting sick or getting older or feeling older quicker or putting that kind of stress on what mentally could I had done? Because that's a burden that they carry. The addiction hurts me, but it also hurts people. And then we're taught to be selfish in our recovery and.

But they still felt the weight of that. You know, does that make sense?

It does.

And so, but they were. I did have a support group. I mean, I made some really good friends. I'm still friends with them here at the church. And that's important.

If people listen to this, it's very important for us to surround ourselves with a group of people that are going to be encouraging and strong and as you grow and have more influence and things like that, your friends will still change even more. You know, I don't hang out with a lot of people in their 20s and 30s because I'm older than that, but they will come to me for advice.

Maybe I try to surround myself with people that are like minded to me. I'm mid-40s, late-40s that I want to see succeed or that can help them succeed in whatever they're doing. I can be encouraging. Now, that sounds so.

Like, this is, you know, Brother Eric walking through here all day long, like, you know, just christening people. It's not. That's not the case. I still deal with, let me tell you, some heavy life things, but my life is not unmanageable anymore.

I have the power to manage my life. And it starts with this core group, like you're asking about now. I had this core group in the beginning, but it grew over time.

But what I did have in the beginning, and I keep going back to it, is just that higher power. And I had that relationship. After walking through those 12 steps and then breaking that anonymity and getting baptized, that was a big deal for me.

And now. And now part of the service, I work here at the church. I oversee our operations for our campus growth.

So we have big building projects and things like that. That's what I do.

But on Sundays when we have baptisms, one of my favorite things to do that I get to serve doing is to help people in and out of our baptism pool. And then when Pastor Marty dunks him, it's people in the audience see it, but to see it from behind, it's. It's so spiritual. And I know it's.

I'm just standing there holding a towel, but the experience of standing there watching someone's life change, because I remember getting dunked in that same pool, and I remember Marty holding me down. Not holding me down, but helping me, you know, down and helping me back up.

But I'm telling you, I probably need to stay down a little bit longer than I did, but. But to get me back up out of that water and to see people, their life being just kind of washed away, it's.

It's such a moment, and I'm just thankful for that, too.

So let's talk about your ministry. Recovery Valves becoming a movement. Tell us about the book, the podcast, and the collective.

Okay, thank you for asking that. The book started. I pitched the idea of writing a book about my life. Like, I have all these life stories I could tell, and I wanted to put it down.

Everybody wants to write a documentary, right? And so when I went to this publisher, a friend of mine has written a book before.

And so I went to his publisher and I said, hey, I need help orchestrating how to write this book. I have some ideas on what I want it to say and what I want in it. And I told them, and they said, look, this is great.

Everybody needs A document or autobiography. But you're Eric Kennedy, not John F. Kennedy, not Ronald Reagan, not Dr. King. Nobody's going to read this because they don't know who you are.

And I said, well, that stinks. I appreciate you pointing that out. It also hurts. But they said, think about, you know, you talk about recovery. Who can you serve in recovery?

And the supportive spouse is often forgotten about. So are parents and family and things like that. There's not a whole lot for them to do in recovery with the person that was the addict.

And so I said, well, maybe if. Maybe if I.

Look, if there's anything out there, maybe I don't want to duplicate anything, and I don't want to take anything from anybody, but if there's not anything out there for a supportive spouse, and then I want to grow that. And, you know, there's. In the. In the 12 steps of an anonymous group, there's a chapter called to the Wives.

But this was written back in the 30s, but there should be a chapter now called to the Husbands. You know, there's women that are in addiction to. And then there's Al Anon and things like that, and then there's groups.

But, you know, we were a church built of small groups. And so I thought about, well, if. If I got something that was done well enough, we could write something as a workbook.

And then I could give that to treatment centers, and I could give that to churches and. And I can give that to married couples that are. That are walking through recovery together because they're now in.

They may not have been in addiction together, but they're in recovery together. And they love that idea. We couldn't find anything out there that was. That was like that. And so we, we were.

I. I wrote out chapter outlines and a manuscript of what I'd love for it to see or be like. They helped me name the chapters, and we talk about everything from communication to marking your time as sobriety together.

Like, we get these chip systems and things like that in the rooms, but your spouse needs to be celebrated, too. And I'm no marriage expert or sex expert or anything like that, but we talk about everything in there. And it's so practical. It's not intimidating.

It's not like a King James version of a really thick Bible. It's a. It's a workbook.

And then there's questions at the end of every chapter for the supportive spouse answer, for the person recovered answer, and then for you guys to answer together.

And then from that, the publisher said you should consider Doing a podcast, not because you have the perfect face for radio, but because this would be a good way to get your book out there. And I said, okay. And so I started this podcast and it goes back to breaking that anonymity.

I want people to come share their stories and let people see what platform of recovery can look like and just give new thoughts to it. And then, you know, the collective has kind of become the hub of all of it.

So the collectives, where people can join our network and they'll get one on one coaching from me. They may get workshops or quizzes they can do. They'll get like daily touch points and connection then. And we'll go through the book together.

We talk about all kinds of different things on the collective. And so the collective is kind of where people funnel in and then we connect them by giving them the book. They can listen to the podcast.

They'll get, like I said, workshops, one on ones. And then we have our own coffee ministry now too. Conversations have over cups of coffee and people connect over coffee.

So as a nonprofit, we try to figure out ways to bring in money to help be self sustainable. Because I hate panhandling and I hate going out and asking for money. I got in trouble for asking for money before, so it's kind of like in my head.

But I have to go out and ask people for donations and we do that. But. But if I can be self sustainable, we're getting there. As a nonprofit. I never thought it would be this much work, but it's work.

I enjoy this whole thing. We do 21 days of prayer here at Stevens Creek, and it was back in August, a couple years back.

I said, lord, it was kind of like being in that cotton field again. I was like, what do you have in store for me? What do you want me to do? And it was the word legacy. He gave me the word legacy.

He's like, you can change your legacy and you can help me change other people's legacy. So that's why I decided to write the book. And then it led to everything we just talked about.

But now I'm writing a second book now, and it's going to be to parents. Parents often get lost in between the balance between enablement and support.

Daddies want to take care of that little girl and mamas want to take care of their little sons, and they want to fix them. And then they forget about their marriage. But if you think about it, it's God, then your spouse and then your kid, and that's a hard pill to swallow.

But I want to bring back the. Their health that needs to be brought back to their marriage. And so we're going to continue to do that. And then I'm working on a devotional too.

Just a daily devotional for individuals, couples and moms and dads and families to kind of just have. And that's just my recovery vow.

I know it sounds kind of, you know, just kind of goes back to the brand, but I made a vow to myself first to walk in recovery. And then that was the original name of the book, was a recovery vow. And then the publisher said, that's not good enough. So we.

We named it marriage after addiction. Take back your life together. I haven't named the one for parents yet. I'm working on it, but I'm just excited for what God's doing. And I'm.

I'm nothing I could care less about. There's no money involved. There's. I'm a nonprofit. I have a team that I want to make sure they get paid.

And then we invest everything back into our education to make sure we're. We're creating things that give people legacies and help people walk in new ways and new thoughts of recovery.

And I don't know what God's got in store. I had a plan, but he's shown me some bigger doors. And I'm like, goodness gracious. I just wanted to walk through like a little small door, God.

But he's got me a set of these king size French doors. And it's like, you're going through these doors. And I'm like, okay. And so I just. Marty says it often, we just roll up our sleeves and do the work.

So I'm just rolling up my sleeves and doing the work.

So the work you've done has reached out to over 3 million people. Huge and incredible for the first year. What do you think is resonating with people that you've connected with so far?

I think it's the people they see on the podcast sometimes is what it was in the beginning. You see a mom and dad that lost a child, and so parents connect with that. You see a husband that was in treatment.

I'm thinking about people that were actually here and the wife was back home with four kids and they found the book and it, you know, give them a tool, another tool to go along with what they were already doing.

I think people of any denomination, of any race, of any background, we all are in some kind of recovery and we all need to know that there are other people just like us. No matter what their belief systems are, what they think's right or wrong, they want this or need this, and it's just recovery in general.

And if we can just be another tool in the toolbox, I think that's where we've done really good. The followers and all that kind of stuff are great. I care about those numbers. But I just.

If I did it for 8 million people by now, I think that's what we're probably organically around on the reach now. That's not how many followers we have. But that's all great.

But if we made contact with one couple, then it was all worth it in the first year, the second year, if we made contact with the second couple, if I did all of this for one family, how much could that change? The families that are come from that?

So it goes back to the person in addiction can change the outcome of so many people's lives just by walking in recovery. So would you do that by one family at a time? And I may not. Marty told me this yesterday. He actually told us in staff meeting.

He said, you may not see the benefits of your labor ever. Your kids may not see the benefits of your labor. But here's what I know is that I've gotten a written word that will live on forever.

That was the legacy I prayed for. That was the moment of clarity that God had in store for me.

But he said, it's going to take you 16 years to get there, but we're going to get you there. I'm glad it didn't happen too soon. I'm GLAD it happened 16 years later.

Wow. So I'm going to fire some questions at you, some lightning round questions.

Okay. I'll do the best I can.

What's one myth? What's one myth about recovery? I mean, about addiction. You want to put to rest that.

It's not all poor people, it's not all brown baggers. It's not. It's not the people that can't afford things. I know people in addiction that I'm working with right now that are millionaires.

It's people that are married, it's people that are grandparents, it's people that are kids. There is addiction does not choose a person based on anything other than their mind. Everybody's got a brain, and they go after that.

They go after your brain and your heart, and everybody's got that does not care about where you come from, where you're going, who you are. And I can't stand that.

Here's another one. What's A phrase or a verse that carried you through your hardest days.

Mark 2. I've had the privilege to go to Israel a couple times and I'm not a preacher.

I've got a license that says I can open my own church and all that kind of stuff. I'm with the Church of God, so I've got a bishop's license, but that's not my gifting.

But I do want to learn more about the Bible as I grow and get older. I'm 47 years old, but I've only been at this church for 13 years, so I'm a 13 year old Christian, so I'm still learning.

But I've been to Israel twice and when I went, I got to go to Capernaum where Jesus kind of Jesus hometown, Peter's hometown. And the story of Mark 2 was where Jesus returned to Capernaum and they all gathered at Peter's house. And in the center of his.

In the center of his house, Jesus was there. And there were people gathered outside the door. And then there's this paralyzed man outside.

And this group of friends came along and they noticed the paralyzed man and they wanted to get him closer to God. And so they carried him to the top of Peter's roof and they ripped the roof off and lowered him down to the foot of Christ.

And the beauty in that story is that everybody plays a part in that story. Sometimes we're the people that are already there present with God. And we're just waiting outside or just listening in.

You know, we're just attending. And then there's people that want to do the work. There's a family that want to carry their person and get them closer to God.

And then sometimes we're the person that just said he was paralyzed and it said what paralyzed him. It could be anxiety, it could be addiction, it could be whatever brokenness you want to replace it with. So I've always.

I would say that Recovery Vow is a Mark 2 ministry because recovery can take place and be any one of those kind of groups. You can be the group that are carrying a friend.

You can be the friend that needs to be carried because you've got that, you know, something that's paralyzed. You could just be the people that have already gotten there and you're watching this happen for other folks.

The common denominator is that they all just wanted to be closer to Christ. And that's what I want from people. Now I'm not here to preach that. I'm here to offer that when they are ready for It.

The book talks about my faith and my spirituality, but it was mine. I won't. If you'd have pushed or.

I know this is going a little bit slower than what you want for rapid, but I'm just saying this because it means something. A lot of people are intimidating by their relationship with God because they think that they have to. They have to understand Jesus first. And you do.

But that's intimidating for some. It was intimidating for me. I couldn't wrap my around staying sober for 24 hours, much less if you threw to me the curveball of Christ.

But when I was ready and I got it, I needed somebody to be ready to give it to me and explain it more. And so that's what I want to be, is I want to be there and just ready when they're ready to receive it.

So if I need to help them pick up their mat and carry it to the top of Peter's house and being in Capernaum, that's what I wanted to say is being there. There's now a church built on top of Peter's house.

And you can stand in this church, and it has a glass floor in the center, and you can see right where God. You can see where Jesus was standing. And while Mark 2 is written.

Wow.

It is.

It's amazing. So what's a small habit that changed your recovery journey?

My wife would really get upset, but house projects. I know that sounds crazy, but I had to do something with. It's like. I think a lot of people in recovery have anxiety.

In addiction, we have depression, but our anxiety just makes us kind of go, go, go. I'm sure I'm ADD or something, but I just had to start doing projects. And if it was painting, like, I just.

I used to paint back in the day in Georgia. These. These women jump up, down, like a short stop over painted furniture. You take an old piece of furniture and put some spray paint on it.

I was selling that stuff like hotcakes, but it gave me something to do. Like, you could see change immediately. Painting something. It was like instant gratification. It was.

I could see this thing be changed in a couple hours. And it was. It was pretty cool. And now I get to do that. Like I said, I do that for church. I get to see the changes that we're happening.

And I'm building legacies and stuff like that and creating things. I can put my name on that. When I'm not here one day, people will look back.

I remember when Eric worked on this or did this or helped Build this for the church or so. Yeah, it's all about creating ways for others to see change.

I love that. So what's one gift sobriety gave you that you didn't expect?

You know, I was. I've always been a daddy in my addiction and in my recovery. I'm a horrible mom.

You know, when I got divorced from my first wife, it was me and the boys, and we used to live off pop Tarts, Mexican food, and I'd do laundry on Sundays. And the rest of it you figured out, you know, but it taught me over time just how to be a good, solid dad. And I walk with a lot of pride in that.

Now, these boys, perfect. If they listen to this podcast, and I hope they do, you are not perfect, but I tried my best. But I love you.

And I think God's got a lot in store for him. And the reason I can say that is because 1's 17 and 1's 18 and they think they're 45.

That's funny. You've kind of alluded to this along this throughout the prior podcast. But I want to ask you, as we kind of wrap this up, my favorite question.

What do you want your legacy to be?

I want my legacy to be something that people will pick this book up one day and let's just talk about the book. My legacy, I hope, is something that I've been a generational breaker for my kids, not a generational blamer.

And I would say that this book is picked up by someone 20, 30, 40 years from now, a hundred years from now.

Marriage after addiction is still laying around somewhere, and somebody picks it up and they can look back and say, I wonder who this Eric Kennedy guy was. And it not matter.

But the book that was written, maybe it's this book Marriage After Addiction or the next book for parents, and it changed their life. What a legacy that is. I'll tell you a quick story. Keith Miller wrote a book called A Hunger for Healing.

When I first came to this church, I asked Marty. I wanted to lead a small group, but I didn't want it to be a Bible study all the way.

And I didn't want it to be like an AA meeting, but I wanted to be like a hybrid of both. And so Keith Miller written this book called A Hunger for Healing. And it was how the 12 steps were pulled from the Bible. And it was beautiful.

And so I tried to look that guy up. And he probably wrote this book in the late 70s, and he was older in age, and he'd passed away, but I had found his daughter.

His daughter's name is Kristin. Excuse me. And she lived in Texas. And I reached out to her and I got her on the phone. I still have her phone, her number in my phone.

And I said, hey, I just want you to know your dad wrote this book, A Hunger for Healing, and he's still changing people's lives, even when he's not here. And she got so emotional in that. And I think that story is a God story because she was in Texas. And she said, well, where are you at?

And I said, I'm in Augusta, Georgia. I work for a church called Stevens Creek Church. She said, where is that at? I said, it's on Stevens Creek Road.

And she said, my daughter lives on Stevens Creek Road next to your church in Stevens Creek Commons. So here's. How crazy is that?

That the guy that I wanted to be like, in a way, Keith Miller, out of all the roads in the whole world, his granddaughter was just next door. That's how close these things are. That's how good God is.

Just to give you the power of a book and the legacy and how close that person really is to you through his grandchild. But, yeah, I just want to be able to look back when.

Or somebody to look back one day and say, that guy, his book changed my life, or his nonprofit changed my life.

So I have a new thing we do on the show is that's the surprise question. Pick a number between 1 and 10 for your surprise question and throw a curveball at you.

None.

What would be your best day ever?

My best day ever?

Yep.

Best day ever. I would like to play. Does it have to be about family?

No.

Be. Whatever. So I live in Augusta, Georgia.

My best day ever would to wake up and be at home with the kids and my wife, and we smile, have a good morning, and then I go play the Augusta national on the perfect weather outside, and they get to go with me to take pictures of me on every hole. And then when we get done, we eat in the clubhouse as a family and. And everybody just has a really, really good time. I love golf. I love golf.

I am horrible at it, but I love golf. And to play that course would be just something.

You get a green jacket at the end of your special day.

Yep, I get a green jacket. I wanted the green pants, too. I want everything. But, yeah, it would just be. It would be with them, and they would.

I would just play the best round of my life, and they would be there to witness it and just enjoy that with me.

That's amazing. So Eric, where can people connect with you so find you on social media?

Yeah, you can find my personal page on Instagram or Facebook. I'm even on TikTok. You can find Recovery Val on all of it. TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn.

We even have Our collective is on a platform called Skool S K O O L. Of course you can go to our website and then if you want to go and actually watch some of the podcasts, our YouTube channel if you want to stream it. We're on every streaming platform you can be on and so if you can't connect with us, it's because you don't have Internet. We are available all over.

Well Eric, thank you so much for your courage, for your honesty, for your heart. For people walking through their own recovery journeys, you remind us that healing doesn't happen in isolation.

It happens in community, in connection, and in radical honesty to our listeners. If today's conversation stirs something in you, don't let it pass.

Whether you're walking through recovery loving someone who is, or simply wanting to create a safer, more compassionate community, Eric has resources that can help you connect with Recovery Valve, the book, the Podcast and Collective Community. Share this episode with someone who needs a reminder that grace is bigger than shame.

Follow rate and subscribe to Becoming Bridge Builder so we can help create conversations that lift burdens and ignite hope. Eric, thanks so much for being a guest on the podcast.

Thank you, Dr. Aeney. I appreciate you inviting me.