There’s a quiet kind of exhaustion that comes from succeeding while only showing up halfway. From doing excellent work that never quite feels like yours. From knowing you’re capable of more, but not knowing how to bring your whole self without blowing things up.

In this conversation, I’m joined by former client Deirdre McCarthy, who reflects on what changed when she stopped fragmenting herself to fit professional expectations—and started designing work that aligned with her values, her curiosity, and her humanity.

We talk about trusting your inner truth, leading with vulnerability instead of expertise-as-armor, and letting go of the belief that work is a zero-sum game.

This isn’t a story about quitting everything overnight. It’s about the quieter shifts that change how work feels from the inside out—and what becomes possible when you stop editing yourself.

What This Explores

1. What happens when you bring more than just your “competence” to work
2. Why vulnerability can create momentum instead of risk
3. How abundance thinking quietly dissolves comparison and competition
4. The difference between being successful and feeling congruent
5. What “joy at work” actually feels like when it’s real

If any part of this conversation stirred something for you, you’re not alone. Sometimes the most important work shift isn’t external at all—it’s the quiet decision to stop abandoning parts of yourself that matter.

Curious what joy at work could look like for you?

Explore all of my programs at 👉 https://www.midlifeunstuck.com/work-with-me

Catch Other Stories of Midlife Career Redesign:

1. From Stuck to Energised: Lara’s Story
2. Escaping Boredom and Finding Your Superpowers: Scott’s Story

Hi, I'm Lucia Knight and this is the Joy At Work Podcast.

Today I'm joined by one of my former clients, someone who, like so many

of us, had a moment of weight.

Is this what work is supposed to feel like?

And instead of brushing it off and cracking on, they paused and they chose

to design their work life differently.

I've asked each guest to share the three most important insights they

learned about their future work life that they never ever want to forget.

And these aren't just light reflections.

They're the result of three, six, or 12 months of deep work together, and now

they're in a position to capture those timeless notes to their future self.

For some saying yes to my invitation, took a little bravery and a lot of

what I call powerful vulnerability.

Some had to dig deep because they really value their privacy.

Some said yes because they understood the potential power of having a touch

point to return to every year, but mostly they said yes as an act of

kindness gifted to me and to you.

Let's dive in.

Deirdre, what is the very first thing that you've discovered about

your work life that you never ever want to forget in the future?

Okay.

I thought about this, it's two years now since I did the Midlife Unstuck program.

And, what I discovered during the process and what has really stuck with me is

the whole thing about my own truth.

So it's that whole feeling of being aligned with me.

With what I stand for value wise, with what interests me as a person and knowing

that about myself, and I know that sounds weird, but think about it, like

I've had a 30 year career in project management and IT, and I've always been

on the leading edge of stuff and it's all been go, And I've been doing really

good work for other people's objectives.

And you know, I've tried to bring myself into it when I'm doing it.

but over time what I found was if you're working for a profit making

company, even though they might be in medicine or they might be in some really

good area, their objectives are not necessarily my objectives, have they?

Deal with people or how they run a team is not necessarily

the way that feels right to me.

Like I'm a person with lots of different interests.

I love reading fiction because I can step into people's lives

and understand their stories.

I love exploring philosophy, exploring the science of happiness.

There's all this stuff, but what I found was that I was only bringing a

segment of myself into the workplace.

And I was cording off a lot of myself and a lot of the stuff

that really was valuable to me.

And it was like I was cording off my own inner truth and just

bringing 30% my, ability to execute tasks into the workplace.

And I could execute tasks very well, but it just felt dispiriting.

So my first resolution is know my own truth.

And stay aligned with it.

So

And bring, yeah, Brilliant.

And it feels God, if you were that successful, bringing 30%

of Deirdre McCarthy to work.

Any wonder if things are blowing up for you now that you're

bringing a hundred percent

yeah, look, it is true.

I'm more successful, but I probably earn less money

so.

far?

'cause it's early days.

Yes.

also the line of chosen means that I'm what would you say?

I'm insulated because of good choices I made earlier on,

so you know that's a good thing.

Brilliant.

So thank you for that one.

That makes complete sense to me.

So what is the second thing that you have discovered about your work life

that you can never forget in the future?

Okay.

Radical shift is the whole power of vulnerability and kindness.

So again, I would've been aware of this and in the workplace I would've always

been a bit of a blur there and a bit of a connector, but not systematically.

Whereas now I bring vulnerability to the forefront, and I'll often, like

I've always dined out on my stories of social ineptitude or the things that

went wrong or when I made the mistakes, but now I can build them into a brand.

So I'm building a brand, which is financial education for women.

So I can build my vulnerability and knowing, say about my experience

as a single parent while still holding down a professional

job, I can bring that forward.

But I can also talk about things where I made mistakes.

You know, maybe I trusted a tradesman I shouldn't have trusted

without doing due diligence.

And I bring my vulnerability and mistakes sometimes forward.

And what I find hugely is this is opening doors for me.

It's lowering the barriers of resistance in other people.

So when I make myself vulnerable and expose something that you know I've

done, which maybe wasn't a perfect thing or wasn't my ideal path, other

people will often respond by telling, lowering their barriers and telling

me a story about their own lives.

So it's that whole vulnerability and kindness, and again,

it comes back to the truth.

You know, if I speak the truth, then people will often respond with the truth.

It's a real connector, isn't it?

It feels like someone's taken their mask off when they're saying, I

made this mistake in the past.

I've learned lessons from it.

And then it opens the door to them saying, oh, I made that same

mistake, or a different mistake.

And then you've created a new relationship, haven't you?

Yes.

And also think about it like my professional career.

A lot of that was consultancy.

And consultancy is often about leading with being the expert in the room.

So it's often about saying this is the way to do it.

So I've turned that on its head.

'cause I found that was feeding into a judgmental side of me.

That is not well received and that I don't feel particularly good when I'm

being judgmental, so haven't entirely switched off that part of my brain.

But if I lead with vulnerability and openness first, then the judgmental

thing has a place, has a role to play, but it's further down the

line, if It's about evaluating good decisions and advising people what

might or might not be a good decision.

But I'm leading from my experience and openness and I think that

works quite well, and I think it's just changed the dynamic of my

life more than just business life.

yeah.

Alright.

And the final thing.

That you never want to forget in your future work life.

so this came from learning, which was while I was doing midlife

on stock, and I was also doing other programs like The Artist's Way, and

it's that sense that there is enough to go around so that the world isn't

necessarily a competitive, one person wins, one person loses type environment.

I would've been using that against myself in two ways, both by feeling

that sometimes I had to be seen to be the winner, and also by feeling that

sometimes I had to stand back and allow somebody else to take the prize.

Because it was only one prize, so I was hiding my own light under a bushel

because I didn't want other people to feel uncomfortable or whatever.

So now I have this philosophy of there's plenty to go around.

There's plenty of prizes for plenty of rewards.

And with that attitude, I also find I'm winning awards.

But with that attitude,

The world is a better place then for what I put into it

and what I seek to get from it.

I don't know, like it's hard to explain, but it's, you know, it's like I'm

not looking for external validation.

but external validation is actually often happening, because I have this belief that

it doesn't matter about any one particular competition or it doesn't matter about

anyone grant funding or whatever it is that I'm doing in the startup world,

there's enough there for all of us.

And what difference does that make to

it means I'm actually putting myself forward for

more awards, strangely enough.

even when I don't feel that I'm fully ready or whatever, because I take the

view, there's plenty there, you know?

I may or may not be considered for this.

But, equally, if I am considered and I win a prize and I win some

funding, it doesn't mean that the next person has been disenfranchised.

Yeah.

Got

you know, it's just a slightly different way of thinking.

Deirdre, can you tell me what Joy at work looks

like or feels like to you?

Joy at Work feels like I'm bringing my full self.

I am doing stuff that stimulates my brain and my emotions, so it's.

It's, what's the word, congruent.

things are working together.

Yeah.

And it's not that I have to cho choose between task completion

versus emotional satisfaction.

It's, I'm able to do a bit of both and that's actually the

space I'm inhabiting right now.

I'm going to hackathons.

I'm very involved in leading edge tech.

And I'm in the startup community and I'm doing a social enterprise.

I've founded a social enterprise and that's ticking so many boxes for me.

So it's about congruency, I think.

I think that's the right word.

Deirdre and I work together on a program called The Fierce Emporium.

If you are interested in working with me, just scan this show notes, and there is

a link to the three programs on offer.