A Christian review of Solo Mio explores singleness, God’s sovereignty in trials, biblical wisdom over bad advice, and true fulfillment in Christ.

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Episode 170: Solo Mio

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The podcast delves into the intricate themes presented within the film "Solo Mio," which serves as a poignant exploration of singleness and the complexities of human relationships. Central to our discussion is the assertion that true fulfillment is found in Christ, rather than in societal expectations or romantic entanglements. We examine the notion of God's sovereignty amidst trials, highlighting how life's disappointments can lead to unforeseen opportunities for personal growth and transformation. Biblical wisdom is contrasted against pervasive cultural advice, emphasizing the necessity of discerning counsel in our lives. Ultimately, this discourse invites listeners to contemplate the profound truth that a fulfilling life in Christ transcends the confines of marital status and societal norms. In an insightful review of "Solo Mio," the podcast engages with the film's exploration of singleness, divine sovereignty amid life's trials, and the pursuit of genuine fulfillment in Christ. The narrative, which centers on a man's solitary honeymoon following a devastating rejection, serves as a poignant reflection on the societal expectations surrounding relationships. The hosts articulate a clear message that resonates with many individuals navigating the complexities of modern life: that the pursuit of love should not overshadow the deeper quest for spiritual fulfillment. This episode emphasizes the importance of grounding one's identity and worth in a relationship with God, rather than succumbing to the pressures of societal norms that equate happiness with romantic success. The discussion also touches on the wisdom found in biblical teachings, contrasting it with the often misguided advice prevalent in popular culture, thereby encouraging listeners to seek godly counsel and prioritize their spiritual journey above all else. Through this comprehensive analysis, the podcast underscores the significance of embracing one's singleness as a valuable period of growth and discovery in the Christian faith.

Takeaways:

1. The film Solo Mio presents a unique perspective on the themes of singleness and societal expectations regarding relationships, particularly illuminating the challenges faced by those who are single in a predominantly couple-oriented society.
2. A significant exploration within the podcast is the notion that true fulfillment and contentment should stem from one's relationship with Christ, rather than from external circumstances or societal pressures to marry.
3. The discussion emphasizes the importance of seeking biblical wisdom over worldly advice, particularly during times of personal trials and emotional turmoil, as exemplified by the protagonist's journey throughout the film.
4. Listeners are encouraged to recognize that marriage should not be viewed as a solution to loneliness, but rather, individuals should cultivate self-contentment and spiritual maturity as foundational aspects of their lives.
5. The podcast critiques the portrayal of relationships within the film, suggesting that unrealistic expectations often propagated by media can lead to disillusionment and dissatisfaction in real-life marriages.
6. In addressing themes of God's sovereignty, the podcast highlights how even difficult circumstances can lead to personal growth and eventual good, reflecting the theological concept of Romans 8:28 in the context of the film's narrative.

In this twist on the classic rom com from Angel Studios, a man on a heartbreaking solo honeymoon finds a second chance at love.

Are you just watching episode 170, Solo Mio?

Welcome to the podcast that shares critical thinking for the entertained Christian.

I'm Eve Franklin.

I'm Tim Martin.

And we're going to try another Angel Studios movie.

I've lost count of how many we've done now.

I think at least a couple.

Yeah, yeah, we have.

The first one we did was the Charles Dickens one, wasn't it?

Yes.

Or did we do one before that?

You know, I've kind of lost count.

I'd have to go back and look.

Yeah, looks like they have quite a few really good movies coming up, though about half the trailers when I went to see this one was more Angel Studios movies.

So there's one they're doing on a Great Awakening, which looks really good.

And then there was.

What was the other one that looked.

Oh, Young Washington.

Did you see a trailer for that one?

Ah, yeah, Actually, that was one of the trailers for mine.

It's a story I actually know well, so I'm sort of looking forward to it.

Yeah, I don't know when it's gonna play, but that one might be a fun one to get involved with a little bit of pre American history.

But, hey, we're recording this two days after Valentine's Day, so of course we have to do a rom com.

Yeah, makes sense.

Yeah.

It was either that or super bowl commercials, and I don't know whether or

they weren't very good this year.

Oh, there was one that was really good.

There was that Jurassic park one from Xfinity.

That was so good.

Really, really good.

Yeah, Xfinity.

Yeah, they.

They did a good job with that one.

Man, I couldn't even tell that the.

The actors were de aged, which really is starting to get scary.

Yeah, that one was really good, but we're not going to talk about that.

We are talking about a movie called Solo Mio.

Hopefully some of our listeners have seen it, if not all of them.

I was actually really surprised.

I went to see it on Valentine's Day with a friend of mine.

I actually had a hard time.

I bought the tickets in advance on Saturday morning.

All of the three evening showings were already nearly booked.

Wow.

I'm glad it did so well.

I had to pick some of the worst seats in order to actually go see it because, you know, they always have, like, those two or three that are down at the bottom right in front of the screen.

That's where I had to sit for this movie.

You know, they actually had a brilliant viral ad in the super bowl for it too.

Oh, really?

Did you see that one?

I don't watch the super bowl, so.

No, no, I don't either.

So Kevin James attended the super bowl as Matt.

Oh, really?

He was literally sitting all alone in his tux holding a bridal bouquet, and he looked miserable.

And for the next two days, everybody was online saying, hey, what was this all about?

What was he going to get married?

Super Bowl?

I understand there was a marriage during this halftime show, but I heard that.

Yeah, yeah, I saw something about it being real.

Yeah, I'm like, well, I. I'm glad they were able to get married since from what I understand, the whole thing was in Spanish and made for online viewing experience so that the people that were actually in the stadium couldn't see anything going on.

And so they were completely detached from the show, which is sad.

But from what I understand about the guy who was singing, they didn't miss much.

But anyway, we're not here to talk about that either, so that's really cool that he put the character there.

That's super sweet.

Yeah, I thought it was a really good idea.

Yeah.

This movie was definitely a different take on the classic rom com because usually they're chick flicks and it's all about the girl, you know, and occasionally the guy has equal story, but in this instance, it was all about the guy.

And that's just really different way of looking at a romantic comedy.

And I thought it was well done.

I'm assuming you liked it.

You took your wife to see it.

I didn't know.

I mean, I. I had seen trailers for it.

I didn't really do a lot of looking into the movie before I went to see it.

The trailers made me think of a movie that was super popular among my friends back in the late Ninet.

And it was called French Kiss.

I don't know whether you've ever seen that movie.

Don't think I have.

It starred Meg Ryan and Kevin Klein.

And it was the story about a.

Well, the short version of the long version.

She was an American citizen who had fallen in love with a Canadian citizen and had moved to Canada, was working on getting her Canadian citizenship and was living with his family until they could get married.

He went away on business to Paris and sent her a Dear Jane letter saying that he had met the love of his life while he was in Paris and was getting married and not coming home.

And she could not leave Canada because she was in the middle of getting her citizenship.

Citizenship.

But she jumps on a plane, which the backstory is she's terrified of flying.

And she had been attending all of these, like, desensitization classes because they were supposed to go on their honeymoon.

And she was trying to get over her fear of flying before their honeymoon.

And so she got on this plane and she's terrified.

And this guy sits down next to her and keeps her occupied while the plane takes off with an argument.

And he's a thief.

He puts something he stole in her bag so that she could get through customs with it.

And then outside the airport in Paris, her bag is stolen.

So they're kind of thrown together trying, because her passport was in there.

And she goes to the embassies.

The American embassy won't renew her passport because she was trying to become a Canadian citizen.

And Canada won't renew her passport because she.

She left the country before it was finished.

And so she's basically a woman with no country, stuck in Paris.

She can't travel anymore.

She has no passport.

And so he meets back up with her to get the necklace he had stolen out of her bag, and she doesn't have her bag.

Her basic reason to go there was to track down her fiance and getting back.

But then she starts to fall in love with Kevin Klein's character, and before you know it, she's visited his family home and learned all about vineyards and making wine.

So there's actually several parallels with this movie.

Movie that I thought was very interesting.

You know, the whole.

The family home visit, and there was a thief involved in bringing them together, a theft involved, and all that kind of stuff.

So really it was kind of like the opposite of the French Kiss movie, but a whole lot cleaner because French Kiss is not clean by any standards.

But, I mean, it was your typical rom com from the 90s.

So it's not horrible, but it is definitely not as clean as this movie.

What was the Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan one?

There was lots of Meg Ryan movies.

Yeah, yeah.

She was like, I wonder what she's doing these days.

Probably living very well off her profit.

No.

You know, Hollywood actors don't tend to manage their finances very well.

Anyway, Solomio, I think, is a much cleaner version of that kind of a movie where, you know, he's left at the altar, he's not quite willing to give her up, but he can't find her, and he's basically forced to continue his honeymoon without her, which is super sad.

It deals with, like, the pain of rejection and the strain of being alone and the way the world kind of just like pushes you into relationships.

It's almost like everyone just expects you to be in a relationship.

And I'm going to deal with that more because that's the main theme that I want to talk about.

And I think other than that, I think it was surprisingly clean.

Of course, it's angel, so what do you expect?

I mean, there were no sex scenes.

The closest they got were newly married couples in bed together doing other things.

So they were just sitting in bed together, talking or whatever.

So fully clothed.

Pajamad.

Yeah, pajama.

There.

There is drinking is kind of almost a part of the plot twist in the movie at some points, but it's not definitely portrayed as.

As a good thing.

I don't remember there being any language in it either, so I don't remember

any swearing in it at all.

Yeah.

So I must mention the soundtrack.

It was actually quite beautiful.

And never heard of the composer before.

I'm not even sure how to say the name.

Joy Nao Ngao.

You did better than I can.

G. I don't know.

It's got an N and a G together, so I don't know how you pronounce that.

The music was really beautiful.

And of course, because of the title of the movie, you hear at least a couple renditions of oh, Solo Mio.

One, surprisingly enough, played and sung by Andrea.

I'm going to slaughter his name.

Boccacelli.

Is that how you say it?

Botticelli?

I have no idea.

Before the movie, I think I had heard of him, but he never.

You know, I never really had a lot of reason to pay attention to him.

Have now, though.

I've actually listened to, like, three of his albums.

So.

Yeah, surprisingly enough, it had Andrea Bocelli in there and he had a cameo.

He actually sang O Solo Mio, which I guess he's very famous for singing.

So my friend that went to the movie with me knew more about him than I did, and so she was, like, pretty surprised to see him in there.

But I have heard the name, but I don't know that I've ever seen him in a performance or so when

somebody says oh, Solo Mio, and, you know, I hear the oh, Solo in my head.

Right.

It's him singing it.

Yes.

I just didn't know that.

Yes, yes.

Let me play a little bit of the soundtrack here.

Yeah.

The last thing that I want to say about the movie was that I now want to visit Italy.

It is such beautiful countryside.

I'm assuming they actually filmed it there.

But some of the landscapes were just breathtaking.

I was like I could stand, overlook and just lose time over admiring the beauty of the landscape.

So maybe someday I'll go to Italy.

I actually spent a week in Tuscany in the 90s.

So yeah, it's beautiful.

I would love to go back someday.

Pisa is where we were staying.

We were staying at a US Armed forces camp outside of Pisa, which is in northern Tuscany.

But yeah, it was gorgeous.

I was interested in this movie originally because it starred Kevin James and what appears to be a serious role in the trailers.

And I, you know, he's not one of my all time favorite actors but I always have a soft spot for comic actors who stretch into more serious roles.

And he's done it before.

But I always think back to Robin Williams doing.

What was it?

Patch Adams I think was the first one where I saw him.

He also did.

Oh, what was the one with.

At the boarding school with the kids Suicide.

Oh, Captain.

My captain Dead Poet society.

That Poet Society.

Yeah, that one was very dark role.

Yeah, it was.

But any, it's, you know, I, I've enjoyed him in this series, the sitcoms that I've seen him in and I'm always interested in getting to see comics play range.

And he did, I think he did a really good job with the complexity of the emotions because his character Matt goes through sort of like a grief like journey, you know that they say the stages of grief and everything like that.

He walks his character through that journey with a twist in there.

And I think he did a good job representing everything, particularly the early stages, anger and denial and all that.

Just a note how different our viewing is.

I've never seen him before.

There was a series, I think it only lasted one, one, maybe two seasons where he is the pit boss for a NASCAR crew that I really enjoyed.

But if I enjoy it means it's not going to get renewed.

Yeah, that's usually what happens to me too.

Yeah.

So any movie that I'm watching where there's a twist that I don't see coming, I think it's a good movie.

Any movie where there's a twist that my wife didn't see coming, that is a spectacular movie and there is a twist that I'm sure we'll probably reveal later on in our discussion at the near the end of this movie that neither of us saw coming.

And I can't speak for her, but I gasped, I audibly gasped in the movie theater when I realized it.

And the way they did the story beats in Solo meo, I thought was really good.

There's a scene where Matt, Neil, Donna, Julian, and Megan are all in a bar, and they're trying to get Kevin over the shock of having been left at the altar.

And Julian is saying, yeah, go get completely sauced and find a woman and go home with her.

Or something like that.

So Matt goes to the bar and he starts getting predatorily hit on by this woman, Claudia.

Very, very drunk woman, Claudia.

At one point, she says, I love your hair, Kevin.

James is completely bald.

Anyway, Julian sees this happening from their place across the room, and he's thinking, oh, Matt's taking my advice.

Anyway, Matt unloads on Claudia all this emotional baggage, and she's so out of her mind with booze, she just rides it out.

And, you know, there's a scene where they're shown walking home, and she's clearly trying him to take her home for the night.

And she makes her big move.

And then the screen goes dark and

you see him go into his room

by himself, door slam open.

And we have been trained by Hollywood to expect to be a couple slamming into the wall, and passionate embrace turns out to be him stumbling into the wall, very angry at himself.

And it was just so well done because it tied so perfectly in my mind into how he was portraying the grief.

Yeah, they played up what Hollywood expected us to see and then reminded us what we were actually watching.

And I really like that.

I'll talk about it a little bit later.

But I did see some classical elements in the movie, and one of them is a theme that I want to talk about, which is the whole devil and angel on the shoulder idea.

But, yeah, I'll get to that theme later.

Okay.

Well, I probably saw a lot this movie that you didn't see because you're married and I'm single.

But I.

Very lovely.

Yeah, I saw a completely different side of this movie than I think a lot of people might have seen.

I mean, it is your classic happily ever after love story at the end, but it kind of starts out, and there's themes throughout that kind of speak to what it's like to live single in a world that is made up of couples and a world that expects couples.

And it's something that I've kind of struggled with, you know, most of my adult life, because I'm in my 50s and still single, never married, but it's something that I think speaks to.

I mean, I. I honestly think that single people going to this movie would find it.

I don't.

I think they would Appreciate it being addressed.

Anyway, so I'm going to talk about that for a little bit.

I can see that.

Yeah.

So my theme is talking about riding solo in a tandem world.

And that comes from the scene where he.

He's part of this honeymoon and they're all riding on tandem bikes and he has to ride the tandem bike by himself.

And he tries to get the bike company.

Impossible.

Yeah.

Give him a single bike.

And they're like, it's impossible.

And so, yeah, it's kind of sitting right there.

They have a rack of them right there.

But in a way, that's kind of what it feels like sometimes when you're single in the world.

It's like everybody's looking at you funny because you're taking up space that a couple would take up, but you're by yourself and it sometimes gets you weird looks.

The part that really gets me.

And it's one of the reasons why I don't go out to eat very often.

If you go to a restaurant where you sit down and take up a table, it's, you know, I don't worry about it so much.

When I'm at a fast food place, though, I tell you, at Chick Fil A, it can be a problem because Chick Fil A is always so busy and there's always so many people looking for tables.

But if you get a table for two, you're taking up two spots and you're only there by yourself.

And you got to think of the server who's taking up their time waiting on you, but they're only getting the tip on one meal instead of two.

And, you know, it's just, you know, one of those social situations where you're like, I'm just not going to put myself into this when I'm by myself.

And it's something I don't think that married people think about that often because they're usually together when they go out to eat.

But I typically only go out to eat when I have a friend to take with me.

I used to have to eat out alone all the time when I was traveling for work.

So, you know, I didn't have a choice because I was away from home.

I didn't have anywhere else to go.

Right.

But you make some good points.

But I always brought a book with me, you know.

Yeah.

And then cruises.

If you book a cruise, you're paying for a cabin that's made for two people.

And if you try to go by yourself, you will end up, you know, paying for the whole thing.

You know, basically, you Pay for two people to have a single cabin because they don't make cabins for single people.

So anyway, that's just a couple things that I thought of off the top of my head that are, you know, it's like things that just.

People just assume that you're going to do with another person.

Yeah.

So it can be scary when you're doing, you know, just normal life when as a solo person and so you kind of feel that awkwardness.

I mean, they play it up because he's on a honeymoon package by himself.

So they really play it up.

But it's a predicament that, you know, a lot of us face on a day to day basis just living life single.

And so I thought it was interesting because they deal with this.

There's actually a line near the end of the movie where Matt is talking to Heather.

She comes up to the hotel just as he's checking out.

And they kind of have this like confession conversation.

And one of the things he tells her is that, well, number one, he forgives her for leaving him at the altar.

And he says that he felt like that they had gone into the idea of marriage because they were scared of losing each other, because of their fear being alone.

Because he was already in his 50s and he was alone and he didn't want to do it again and all that kind of stuff.

That was what came up earlier, you know, was that he was too old to try again.

So I got to thinking about the fact that that marriage should never be a cure for loneliness.

I think I see a lot of people who get into relationships because they fear being alone or they think that that is like what you have to do.

You know, that's just part of life, is that you're supposed to get in a relationship and.

And then they get stuck in marriages where they're still alone because they don't have that deep interpersonal connection that is, you know, the two becomes one kind of thing, which they make a mockery of that this movie.

Relationships, frankly, are not a cure for loneliness.

And if you're lonely by yourself, you're going to be lonely in relationships too, sadly.

Because that something that might be something you have to deal with on your own before you put that burden on someone else to fulfill a hole in your life.

Does that make sense?

I'm not.

I don't know whether I'm.

Yeah.

So that's kind of where I wanted to go with this, is that as we see in this movie, there are no perfect relationships.

In fact, there was a line where he tells the other two guys that he, you know, their relationship was perfect.

He didn't know what happened.

He didn't understand what happened.

And they both explain their relationships and then tell him, listen, no relationship is perfect.

You know, they're all faulty.

There's always something wrong with it.

And you can't.

If you take that kind of burden to a relationship, you know, you, you have, everything has to be perfect, then that's just too much pressure on the other person.

Marriages take commitment.

They took work, they're not easy, they're not perfect.

And it's like the wedding's only the beginning.

And if you can't have that sense of self sacrifice that puts the other first, then it's always going to be like a constant battle of wills.

And then you're going to always be alone because you're never like really with the other person.

So anyway, one verse that came to mind on that is 1st Corinthians 11:3.

But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.

And there was a line, I think it was Julian that said it, that the reason why they had lasted through their three marriages and two divorces.

And I think by the end of the movie they were starting their fourth marriage after three divorces.

Anyway.

Yeah, I wasn't sure what had happened there.

Yeah, he went down on the knee and presented a ring again at Matt's wedding.

So I suspect they got divorced.

And again, anyway, Julian made the comment that the reason why they were still together was they had a good foundation and.

Or keep getting back together, I guess, in their case.

But I was thinking it's like the only real foundation to a marriage that works is Christ.

It's like if the man is committed to Christ and the woman is committed to Christ, and then they have the proper understanding of what the roles of marriage is and how they are to fulfill each.

That's the only foundation that's going to really hold.

It's the only glue that will really hold a marriage together.

And then I did want to address the singleness thing because this is something that I see a lot of young girls, they get caught up in, in this dream of the perfect marriage.

It's typically more the girl that does it, but I think guys get emotionally wrapped up in it too, because we have a world that keeps presenting movies like Solo Mio, where it's like they have their happily ever after at end.

And so we're raised to think you know, you're going to meet that person and you're going to get married and life is going to be perfect.

You put everything into finding that person, and then you wait until you can get married, till you start living, because marriage is where, you know, that's like the next step.

You grow up and you get married, you know.

Yeah.

And I think it may contribute a lot to our divorce rate here in the United States, in the Western world, actually, no fault.

Divorce has made it very possible for us to just get married and then if it doesn't work, get unmarried, you know, get divorced.

And that's not the way it's supposed to work.

But the reason why so many women end up leaving their husbands is because they went in with the false understanding of what the happily ever after is going to be.

And so they put way, way too much emphasis on, you know, now that we're married, you know, life's going to be perfect and we're going to have that happily ever after that we see in fairy tales and rom coms and, and the romance novels that we read and all that kind of stuff.

It's like we just set up these really false expectations for what marriage is going to be.

And I encourage young people to wait.

There's no harm in waiting.

Wait until God puts the right person in your life.

And even then, don't put the expectation on that your life is going to start now that you're getting married.

Your life started when you were born and God has a calling for you whether or not you're married.

And in fact, First Corinthians 7, 8, 9, it says, this is Paul talking on the marriage issue.

Paul never married as far as we know.

And he says, I say to the unmarried into widows, it is good for them if they remain as I am, but if they do not have self control, they should marry, since it's better to marry than to burn with desire.

And then later on in the same chapter, First Corinthians 7, 32, 35, he says, I want you to be without concerns.

The unmarried man is concerned about the things the Lord, how he may please the Lord.

But the married man is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided.

The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.

But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.

And that has, I wouldn't say it's become my life passage.

I have other passages I like more than that, but I think that really speaks to what it's like to be single in the church because unfortunately we live in a culture where there are a lot more women than there are eligible men.

And so there tend to be a lot of women who end up not getting married because there just isn't a guy for them.

And it's something that I have learned to address as a matter of contentment.

I am content in the life that God has given me.

And I'm not overly stressed about the fact that I'm not married.

I'm past childbearing age now.

So it's like really the purpose of a godly marriage is to raise godly children.

And so, you know, God's plan for me didn't include that.

And so I'm content with that.

And I think that as godly Christians, whether we're man or woman, we have to find contentment in God.

Our relationship with Christ should first and foremost be the highest priority in our life.

And if God chooses to bring somebody into our life to share that life with, and that's wonderful.

I mean, that is the God ordained version of marriage.

One man for one woman for life, that two shall become one that Adam needed the help meet and Eve.

So it's not wrong to want to be married.

But at the same time, we should learn to find commitment in Christ above all else.

And to that end, as I wrap up this discussion and let Tim get started on his lengthy theme, I did want to recommend a book that was recommended to me many years ago.

If you're single, whether you've never been married, whether you're a widow, or whether you've suffered through a no fault divorce, which breaks my heart, especially for men who have their wives leave them when they're Christians and they have a strong feeling about remarriage and divorce and all of that stuff.

It's super hard when the other one leaves you because you're left, you know, very much like Matt was left at the altar.

But I highly recommend a book.

It's called Common Mistakes Singles make by Mary S. Welchel.

It was a book that was promoted in a singles group that I wasn't actually a part of.

It was.

A friend of mine had posted it on Facebook and it was at the time really cheap.

In fact, actually I'm looking at it on Amazon right Now it's only 3.99 on Kindle, so it's not a horribly expensive book.

But it details all of the mistakes that living in our world singles make, like putting themselves in situations where temptation can't be avoided.

And then there's also an entire chapter in the book for people who are married and have single friends.

Interesting.

And how to have relationships with single friends.

And it's just a super good book.

It's been highly impactful for me.

I've actually shared the title with many people in my life because it's basically telling you it's okay to be single and you can quit striving for something that may never happen in your life and thinking that you have to wait, you know, start your life until God, you know, provides that other missing thing that you think you're missing.

So anyway, just look it up.

Like I said, it's actually pretty inexpensive on Amazon right now.

It's a good read.

Yeah.

And before we move into the next few themes, I do want to remind you to support our podcast.

You can do so by going to are you just watching.com patreon or patreon.com are you just watching?

And I want to give special thanks to the continued support of our current patrons, Isaiah Santiano, Craig Hardy, Stephen Brown II and David Lufton.

All these gentlemen have been giving to us for years now.

I just really, really appreciate their support for every single episode we put out.

And we'd love for it to add to that support because we would still like to figure out how to branch out into video and get our podcast on YouTube.

It's just a massive step that I can't even wrap my head around right now.

And then while you're thinking about supporting us if you're not able to give us a monthly financial gift other than praying for us, which we do appreciate.

Absolutely.

While you're over on Amazon looking up this book by Mary Welchel that you look up my book.

Are you just watching the Entertain Christians Handbook to Consuming Media with Purpose.

And it's a really fun little workbook that gives you lots of space to do your own reviews of movies.

You your take notes and figure out what the themes are and apply your Christian worldview to them.

So highly recommend that.

Of course, that's coming from me.

I'm the author.

Of course I highly recommend it.

But the sales of those books does go back into the coffer for the podcast.

So I really appreciate you purchasing my book.

And then you can also share your feedback for this podcast by commenting on the show Notes, which are going to be at are you just watching.com 170.

You can also email feedback at are you just watching.com or join our Facebook discussion group, which you can get to by going to are you just watching.com community.

I do pop into there occasionally.

It's kind of dead at the moment.

But really, if you want to interact with Tim or I, the best place to go is are you just watching.com discord?

Which gives you the invitation to our server.

We don't see a lot of activity there as well, but we really would love to hear from our listeners and know what you like.

Absolutely.

Kind of why I would like to get on YouTube because I really feel like the commentary on YouTube is a lot more open and energetic.

So if we could find a way to get our podcasts on YouTube, I think we might actually end up with better interaction with our listeners.

We'll need avatars.

I have to figure out some way to animate video because I have a face for radio.

That's okay.

I've got a voice for newspaper.

On to you, Tim.

So one of the things that while I was watching the movie, kept coming to mind is the verse that has been my foundational verse basically since our son died.

And that's Romans 8:28.

I know I've mentioned it here several dozen times.

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose.

And I came out of the theater thinking, well, this is definitely one of those cases.

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I was, no, no, it's not.

There's no indication that Matt has any particular Christian faith or otherwise.

As a matter of fact, the montage that the movie opens with suggests that he and Heather are cohabitating before marriage anyway.

So we may point at that and say, oh, well, they're definitely not Christians, but that would be ignoring the probably thousands of cohab imitating unmarried Christians in the world.

But the movie goes from this terrible thing happening to Matt to it all working out at the end.

But it's not necessarily an application of Romans 8.

28.

You know, if this were in real life, it certainly could have been.

But one thing that I sort of latched on to was as one of the things that I realized is that as rotten a thing as what Heather did to Matt by leaving him at the altar at a Destination wedding where all these people had either paid to go to Rome for this wedding or had their tickets purchased.

You know, clearly a whole lot of money was poured into this.

And the doors swing open and Heather isn't there.

And it turns out she had done a runner.

And you feel really bad for Matt.

And as he goes through his stages, you're like, yeah, yeah, be angry.

You're right to be angry.

But in reality, this was Heather's last chance to escape a covenantal relationship that she did not want to be part of.

She may not have known until that very moment that she didn't want to be part of it.

I tried to find the text of the note that she left online.

It was only on screen, you know, very briefly.

I think it was read out once, but I didn't catch the content.

They didn't read the whole thing.

They went from, like, the beginning, like, the first couple sentences straight to the end.

And then, like, show, like, one phrase where, you know, that she was gone kind of thing.

Yeah.

So it is a good thing that she did not do.

This engagement is a very serious thing.

And every Christmas we talk about how serious the engagement between Joseph and Mary was.

Right.

To the point of pointing out that if Mary had been convicted of being unfaithful to her fiance, she could have been stoned to death.

But it was much better that she made a humiliating break than she made vows and, you know, regretted it for the rest of her life.

Now, I still argue that the love of a husband and wife is something you grow into, not something you have when you get married.

So in real life, somebody who does this can still be married to the love of their life.

It just takes a while to grow that love in the garden.

But Heather did a good thing by not engaging in a covenant that she did not, in good faith, thinks she could hold.

It is a trap for anyone to dedicate something rashly and later to reconsider his vows.

So that brings us back to Romans 8:28.

And it got me thinking that in Romans 8:28, we see a glimmer of the fact that God can take really bad things and turn them into good for those who love Him.

He did it with my wife and I, with the death of our son in 94, he is the utterly sovereign God.

Yeah.

So it doesn't have to seem like a good thing for God to use it it.

And just because it worked out for Matt in the end of the movie, it doesn't mean, Heather necessarily did the right thing.

She did the best that she could at the very last chance that she could.

But in theory, she never would have let it go this far.

So it's a good thing that the covenant wasn't formed, even if she could have done it better.

And that reminds me of the story of when Joseph reveals his true identity to his brothers, who had sold him into slavery when he was barely more than a child.

And

they have gone to Egypt to get grain because there's a famine back in.

They're through the whole world.

World.

Oh, yeah.

Actually, that's a good point.

It is through the whole world, but Egypt is coming through it.

Because God had given dreams to people who would go to Joseph for interpretation.

And as such, Joseph is lifted up to a position of honor just below the role of pharaoh.

And Joseph reveals himself to his brothers,

saying,

hey, guess who I am?

And his brothers are suddenly very, very afraid, because here's Joseph, second only to the pharaoh of Egypt, who in that culture was considered a God.

Joseph could have pointed to them and said, strike them down, and nobody would have batted an eye.

And that's where we come into Genesis 50, 19, 21.

But Joseph said to them, don't be afraid.

Am I in the place of God?

You planned evil against me.

God planned it for good, to bring about the present result, the survival of many people.

Therefore, don't be afraid.

I will take care of you and your children.

And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

And that's how we need to look at bad things that happen to us, particularly when they are bad things that are engineered to happen to us by other people.

And that can be a really hard thing to do.

I guess the last thing that I want to mention in this theme is the movie pitches it as, you know, a good thing.

That this upheaval was necessary for Matt's life.

They dropped several hints.

You know, he's gone into teaching elementary school kids art, though he had a dream of pursuing being an artist, landscape artist, and he loves music.

He immediately recognizes the Italian singer Botticelli.

Botticelli.

I added a couple letters to his name.

So the life that he has at the end of this movie is so much better than the life he had at the beginning.

So they picture it as a good thing.

And he definitely grew through the movie.

So there was a lot of good that came out of it.

And it just reminded me that when bad things happen, God still has a plan.

We've actually been going through these Joseph passages in my church.

We've been preaching through Genesis for a couple years now.

Takes a while to get through it.

Yeah, you start all the way at the beginning.

It does take a while to get through it.

And we took breaks every so often, but we just did the first time that the brothers come to Egypt.

And one of the things that my pastor keeps emphasizing is that it's not that God works through bad things, it's that God is in complete control.

He orchestrated it all.

He used the brother's jealousy of Joseph to put Joseph in the position where he could save not just his family, but the entire world from a seven year famine.

It was orchestrated from the very beginning.

God was in control of every part of it.

That's a good point.

That's an excellent point.

It's when we say that God's sovereign, we got to remember that he's sovereign even in the bad things.

He has a reason for them to be happening.

Even if it's like a serial killer.

Yeah, because he could stop it.

Yeah.

But he has a purpose for it.

But he doesn't engineer it to happen because it's, you know, it's sinful.

So we know it's not his hand making it happen.

But yeah, it's a complicated paradox for me trying to figure out how all that happens.

But yeah, that's a really good point.

God engineered this entire thing from before the foundations of the world were laid.

So we just have to trust, trust that it's going to work to his glory and to our benefit.

There was one thing that bugged me, and I know, Eve, that you have a different opinion of this.

The way that Julian's marriage to Megan and Neil's marriage to Donna are presented, the way I read them, particularly at the very beginning, they were at extreme ends of a spectrum.

Julian and Megan are a very loud couple and they're arguing.

You find out through the course of the movie that this is their third marriage of marrying and divorcing and marrying and divorcing each other.

But we're introduced to them where they are so loud in their hotel room that the neighboring hotel rooms are bothered by them.

And we're introduced to Neil and Donna in the coffee shop where Donna is completely writing off Neil's decisions and concerns and just takes control and tells him exactly what to do.

At one point he says, dear, we better get going or we're going to be late.

And she shuts him down without hesitation.

No, this has absolutely gotta need to happen.

And from those scenes on, I felt that neither one of those marriages were Very healthy.

Did I say they were healthy?

No, no, no, no, no.

Know, I was bugged that by the end of the movie, there's this montage of Matt and Gia's wedding.

You know, it shows Neo and Donna and Julian and Megan all there.

I was bugged that by the end of the movie, they didn't really identify the two other marriages as the unhealthy things that they were.

But I know you had a different take on it.

Well, I don't know that that was the point of the movie was to analyze whether people had healthy marriages or not.

I think they even addressed that by, you know, admitting to Matt that neither of them had good marriages, that they had their own problems, that their marriages were not perfect.

And I think that that fulfills your desire of, you know, them admitting that their marriages were not healthy.

So I think it was there.

It was just maybe not done the way you wanted it done.

Yeah, and that's very likely for me.

I think it comes down to a matter of the respect between a husband and wife is paramount, even more so than love.

And Donna was shown as not only not respecting Neil, but disrespecting and belittling him.

And Julian and Megan demonstrated their relationship by lots of yelling at each other and badmouthing each other.

You know, there doesn't seem to be any respect there, and I think that just touched a sore spot for me.

It hit a nerve for family marriages and.

And stuff like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, there was one other thing that I wanted to talk about, and I really need to make this one fast.

I was taken by the whole idea, and I probably took this one too far of the devil and the angel on the shoulder in old Looney Tunes cartoons.

And I pictured Matt with a little Julian head over one shoulder, and a little Neil head over the other shoulder with Julian having devil horns and Neil having a halo.

And they're both presenting suggestions and methods to treat this despair that Matt has.

See, I see them both on the same shoulder.

I don't see either of them as being an angel.

Yeah, see, and that's the point at the end.

Neither of them is right.

It turns out that the path that Matt takes is almost as if Julian's ideas and Neil's ideas are curbs on a bike path.

Path.

And Matt is riding down the middle of the bike path, avoiding both curves.

But Julian definitely, you know, he provides advice on multiple occasions that are like, okay, it's all about you, Matt.

It's all about you.

You get your relief, and you worry about the consequences later.

And.

And Neil is like, no, no, no, no.

You need to take it slow, work it out.

And at one point, you find out that he's actually a sports therapist.

So it makes sense.

You know, if anybody has ever been in physical therapy, they'll know that the process of recovering from surgery or from an injury is one where you really have to take it slower.

You're just going to re.

Injure yourself.

So he's very true to that worldview.

So it got me thinking.

There's a way that seems right to a person, but its end is the way to death.

And I feel like that is what both of them were actually laying out.

Might make sense to classes of people, people who have different upbringings or different worldviews, but neither one of them were pointing the correct way.

And Julian's advice in particular was very immoral when it came to sexuality.

First Corinthians 6:18 says, Flee sexual immorality.

Every other sin a person commits is outside the body.

But the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body.

So I bring this up because what Julian was suggesting would have just made it so much worse.

Yeah, for Matt.

And they both can seem wise, depending upon what angle you're coming at it from.

But it, for me, it calls back to First Corinthians 1:20.

Where is the one who is wise?

Where is the teacher of the law?

Where is the debater of this age?

Hasn't God made the world's wisdom foolish?

And I bring this one up because I want to remind us that the wisdom that's presented in this movie on both sides is foolishness because it's a direct contradiction to God's word.

Yeah, definitely.

The last thing is this trope of a good advisor and a bad advisor.

You know, it's a fairly common mechanic in storytelling.

And in it, Dorian is misled by this completely amoral nobleman who refuses to feel any emotions himself, but rather feels emotion vicariously through watching other people struggle.

And he misleads him into a supernatural mistake that results in not only Dorian Gray's age being sucked up by a portrait of him, but all of his evil nature too.

And the artist sees what's happening.

He happens to be an old time friend of the nobleman.

And this man, Basil, he tries to steer Dorian away, but isn't forceful enough and ends up getting murdered for his troubles.

So it reminded me a little bit of that.

And then of course, in Screwtape letters, we're introduced to Wormwood, who is a young demon assigned to a British man to ensure that the man does not stumble his way to God.

And in there, CS Lewis is you're expecting the ever present guardian angel on the other side.

And I seem to remember there are mentions of guardian angels, but not as a direct opposite to Wormwood's singular assignment to this guy.

And at one point his uncle, a senior demon who Wormwood has turned to for advice through letters, thus the name of the book, tells his nephew that demons will masquerade as goodness and pretend to be the voice of logic, advising his nephew to practice transforming himself into an angel of light so that he can use it as an effective deception tactic.

So I appreciate that, Solo mio.

You know, it took use of this mechanic, the storytelling mechanic, and made it its own.

I guess I was hoping for a little bit more payoff at the end, you know, a little bit more clear declaration.

But as Christian as Angel Studios is, their goal is to put out family friendly media that is enriching and builds up.

Yeah, well, I think we need to be careful with calling Angel Studios Christian, because I don't think they are.

I think you don't think they are.

You know, I don't think I've ever looked into it.

I think I just assumed.

Well, we actually discussed it in one of our previous reviews.

They're actually.

Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, I remember.

Yes.

Wow.

I completely forgot about that.

Okay, so my apologies.

Expecting them to make Christian movies is a higher standard than they're seeking to reach anyway.

Yeah, I would say that perhaps you were reading a little bit more into the movie than they were actually trying to put in there.

Yeah, you were making it a lot.

Shocking, actually.

Was.

But that's okay.

I mean, that's kind of the point of our podcast, is to read more into it than the people who made the movie we're presenting.

So the final theme that I wanted to talk about, and it kind of is a continuation of what you were just talking about.

The story of Claudia that you mentioned in your initial reaction.

Claudia that you had in your initial reaction, kind of reminded me of a passage in Proverbs.

And it's funny because I was in First Corinthians 7:7 earlier and now I'm in Proverbs 7.

So 7 is the perfect number.

I guess I'm in it a lot tonight.

But almost the entire chapter of Proverbs 7 is talking about the adulterous trap.

And obviously the writer of Proverbs, who is Solomon, is encouraging wisdom on his son.

And then he's saying, I look out and I see a woman come to meet him, dressed like a prostitute, having a hidden agenda.

This starts in verse 10.

She is loud and defiant.

Her feet do not stay at home.

Home now in the street, now in the squares.

She lurks at every corner.

She grabs him and kisses him.

And then jump to verse 21.

She seduces him with her persistent pleading.

She lures with her flattering talk.

He follows her impulsively, like an ox going to the slaughter.

Like a deer bounding toward a trap.

Until an arrow pierces its liver.

Like a bird darting into a snare.

He doesn't know it will cost him his life.

So that's Proverbs 7:10 through 13 and 21 through 23.

And Claudia, I mean, that could almost be describing her in the movie.

I mean, it's definitely.

Yeah, it's my birthday.

Yeah, it's my birthday.

And you see her, like, proposition other men or another man at the.

Near the end of the movie.

And so it's the exact same line.

It's my birthday.

And I got to thinking about the fact that they.

So obviously.

Now, whether I'm reading into this just like you are the.

The devil and the angel on the shoulders, I don't know.

But it sure seems like they went out of their way to present her as the adulterous woman who is, I think, to trap him.

Yeah.

And he eludes the trap.

He gets out from under her, and it's getting punched by her later on the movie.

Knocked out.

I. I was thinking about that.

Is that Matt.

Pat, moving on from what you said with just the two men, is that he was surrounded by the advice of the world.

It wasn't just Julian and Neil.

It was the hotel manager.

It was just like everybody was giving him advice.

Oh, yeah.

He was being surrounded by people who were trying to move him forward in some direction.

And he really didn't need any of that because all he wanted to do, really, was cancel the trip and go home and be alone.

And so he was kind of forced to keep going.

And I thought it was interesting that Gia is really the only one who really reaches him in his pain.

Because instead of giving him bad advice, she's just present, you know, she's well, she does end up giving him advice later on in the movie, but it's more like she just sees that he has a need and she steps in and fulfills it.

So riding a tandem bike, he's on his own.

So she jumps on the back of his.

It rides it with him and she spends time with him and she helps him come out and.

And be able to live with his hurt a little better and.

But she has her own struggle.

She admits later on, you know, that I don't know whether she was actually married to this guy, but he was obviously unfaithful and domineering and, you know, she's trying to get out from under his thumb by closing her shop because he owns the building.

And I just got to thinking about that from, you know, the standpoint of being in the world that we're always surrounded by bad advice.

Where is.

It's that whole follow your heart kind of thing that is in all the movies that it's the trope that we always come back to, but it's that kind of advice.

We're always surrounded by it.

And it's like the adulteress's trap.

It's always out there trying to lure us into temptations.

And so I kind of wanted to conclude this episode by just using this verse.

Colossians 2, 8.

Be careful that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit based on human tradition, based on the elements of the world rather than Christ.

As Christians, we should not be falling into these traps.

We should not allow the philosophies of the world, the empty deceit of the world, politics, social justice, all of these things that we, we put above God in our lives these days.

It's like we can't let any of that take priority.

This is our number one reason to live as Christians is to present Christ to the world.

And so just a warning that we

almost say, we were commissioned.

We're commissioned.

Yeah, we, we are surrounded by bad advice.

It's not just the angel and the demon on the shoulders.

We're surround by it.

It's all demons.

It's all demons.

Well, there's the advertising on tv, there's the news.

Nowadays, social media is just algorithm chosen to keep us angry with each other.

It's like every headline, every post, every advertisement, even the news, they present news in a way that is going to get them clicks and get them views and so that, you know, they've got to present it in a way that will make you angry and emotionally involved.

So just.

It's just something that we need to be careful with as Christians to that we keep our eyes on Christ and not let all of this stuff going on around us pull our eyes off of him.

So yeah, yeah, there was a lot of deep things we could get out of a very shallow movie.

Yeah.

And you know what?

It was still a good time.

Yeah, it was a good movie.

As long as you don't turn off your parade.

Well, you know, it's super cool to have a rom com that's from the guy's point of view.

I think there's maybe been a couple others, but they still tend to spend a little bit more time with the woman.

I think in most twists on this type of story, it would have been Heather's story and not Matt's.

And we don't even know what happens to Heather at the end.

So it's like, oh, well, she's just not that important, I guess.

But well, we'll let you know what we're going to be doing for March and well, obviously when we post it, you'll know what we did for March.

Thank you so much for listening.

I'm E. Franklin.

I'm Tim Martin.

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