In this deeply introspective and enlightening episode of Boomer Banter, host Wendy Green delves into the essence of True Wealth, exploring the four pillars that constitute a meaningful and fulfilling life: finance, health, joy, and love. With personal anecdotes and practical advice, Wendy sheds light on how these components interweave to create a life of substance beyond material success. Get ready to be inspired, as we reflect on what it truly means to age well and live a purpose-driven life.

Episode Highlights:

Introduction to the Four Pillars: Wendy Green opens the episode by introducing the idea that True Wealth is not just about money, but a holistic blend of financial security, health, joy, and love.

Personal Reflection: Wendy shares a profound excerpt from her father’s unpublished book, revealing his realization that material success does not equate to true wealth. This heartfelt story drives home the episode’s central message that wealth is defined by much more than financial prosperity.

Financial Security: Emphasizing the importance of financial planning, Wendy offers insights into securing one's financial future. She discusses factors such as lifestyle, debts, pensions, longevity, and health that influence financial stability. Wendy advises seeking professional help from financial planners and preparing for potential emergencies to ensure financial peace of mind.

Health Wealth: Wendy underscores the significance of maintaining both physical and mental health. She talks about the benefits of regular physical activity, a nutritious diet, proper hydration, and strong social connections. Wendy also touches on mental well-being, emphasizing the power of a positive mindset, gratitude, and strong social bonds.

Joy and Contentment: Exploring the concept of joy as a state of being, Wendy differentiates it from temporary happiness. She discusses the importance of nurturing joy through achievable challenges, practicing gratitude, disconnecting from technology, and finding a purpose. The story of the Chinese farmer serves as a reminder to maintain a nonjudgmental and accepting attitude for lasting contentment.

The Power of Love: Wendy articulates the crucial role love plays in true wealth. She explores how love of self and others, self-care, and meaningful social connections enrich our lives. Wendy highlights that love brings deeper meaning to financial security, health, and joy, making it an indispensable pillar of true wealth.

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Hello. Welcome to Boomer Banter, where we have real talk about aging well. My name is Wendy Green and I am your host. And at Boomer Banter, we supply you with knowledge that informs you, inspires you, and motivates you to take action on things that will help you age well. Today I want to talk about my four pillars of true wealth, finance, health, joy, and love. The goal of this episode is to talk to you, my friends and followers who want to live a meaningful, engaged, healthy, long life and share tips that I have discovered for living a life of true wealth. Before I get started, I want to invite you to join the Boomer believers. The Boomer believers is a membership group and every month we meet with one of our guests on a Zoom call where we can ask questions, questions directly of that guest.

The next Boomer believer is tomorrow night, June 25, from 630 to 07:30 p.m. eastern time, and we're going to be talking with Kathy Stokes, who is the director of the AARP Fraud division, and she was our guest last week. And you can meet with her and ask her all the questions that you want. And to join the Boomer believers, you can go to buymeacoffee.com heyboomer 0413 and select the boomer Believer membership. You can try it out for one time, and if you don't want to continue, you don't have to continue. I think you will love it. The opportunity to talk to one of our guests every month is an amazing opportunity to get your questions answered. So if you do this before, let's say, noon tomorrow, I will be sure to send you the Zoom link so that you can join us and talk with Kathy Stokes and hopefully prevent yourself from becoming a victim of frauds and scams.

Again, that's buymeacoffee.com heyboomer 0413. Okay, I want to start today's episode by reading you some of the first chapter of a book my dad wrote when he felt that his world was falling apart. The book was never published, but I think it sets the scene for why I see true wealth as being made up of more than just money. Just a couple of notes before I get started. True wealth, as I will be describing it, is a way of life. It's not a destination, which means we don't always get it right. That is the gift and the challenge of being human. We have other opportunities to learn and try again if we mess up.

Aging well is composed of many components. The four components I will talk about today, finances, health, joy, and love are, in my opinion, parts of a life well lived into our sixties, seventies, eighties, and beyond. One more thing. My dad's story is raw, and he expressed some raw and strong emotions. Okay, here we go. It was July 20, 1970. The time was 03:02 a.m. i was driving to my office in South Miami, listening to the radio, the start of another 18 hours workday.

While cruising the dark highway, I was cataloging the day's events as the owner and CEO of my business conglomerate. A year ago today, the voice on my car radio said, man landed on the moon. Hold on, I thought. A year ago. My God, I've lost a year of my life. I stopped at my regular all night restaurant and ordered my regular breakfast, a cup of coffee and two donuts. The waitress came by and she said, what's the matter, al? You're crying? By the time I reached my office, my hands were shaking. My brain was mush.

My eyes wouldn't focus. I picked up a piece of paper to write a memo, and suddenly I saw tears dripping on it. I kept repeating to myself, a year ago, my God, I lost a year. A year of what? What did I miss? What did I do? What did I want? A year of my life just vanished. I was at the height of my career. I had three kids, a wife, a waterfront home, a housekeeper, five cars, two sailboats, and two big dogs to guard the house. While I was gone, I owned an advertising and public relations firm, a bridal salon, several real estate companies both in and outside of the United States, a premiums company doing business with banks throughout the southeast. I had pleasure boats off the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami and the Americana Hotel in Puerto Rico.

I thought I was running all those businesses, and suddenly I realized they were running me like a rat on an exercise wheel. They were running me into the grave. My wife, June, used to say, slow down, we all love you, and you are killing yourself. The kids don't even see you anymore. And my terse response was something like, what the hell do you want from me? You have plenty of money to do with what you want. You can't have that. And love, too. The only time I saw my family was between eleven and midnight, when I would occasionally wake the kids for a cookie and milk party.

But we didn't talk much. Since they weren't concerned about my business ventures. We really had nothing to talk about. My meetings with my staff went much the same way. I said what I wanted, and I didn't really have time to listen for input from them. Our brainstorming sessions typically lasted but a few minutes. Where I did the talking, they did the listening. I showed no emotions other than anger when things didn't go my way and lack of respect for anyone who tried to stand in my way.

I was the chief and everyone had to know it. I was macho man. At 05:00 a.m. after being in my office for about an hour, I woke up my wife with a phone call. I've had it. I'm going to get rid of everything and just disappear. I'm getting the hell out of this rat race, and if you want to come with me, fine. If you don't, that's fine.

Also, back then it was called a nervous breakdown. Burnout and midlife crisis were not yet in vogue. I didn't know anything about humanistic counselors, holistic healers, fitness gurus, and psychology books. All I knew was I was suddenly hurting like I had never hurt before. My heart was pounding, my eyes were dilated, and I was sure I was going to die. Before I left my office, I sold all of my businesses, some for a profit, some for a loss. But I didn't care. I just had to get out.

After all, I realized I was partially out anyway. I was out of my mind and my decisions were flawed, my attitudes were flawed. I was just totally flawed and very, very scared. I wound up in the mountains of North Carolina, near Beau Ledine, population 400, named after the postmaster's daughter. I bought a 300 acre spread of eight mountains, hundreds of apple trees, thousands of rose bushes and rhododendrons, fresh air and no people around for miles. Soon my family joined me and we settled in. We built a fishing lake, planted a large vegetable garden, built a riding corral and a road to our 65 year old log cabin. I bought two horses, a jeep, a big hat, a few pair of dungarees, and I stared into space and cried a lot.

I realized the emptiness in my life and I was terrified. I had plenty of money, but that was it. I didn't know how to show positive emotions. I didn't know how to show love. All I was ever taught was I had to be a success. I had to make a lot of money, and then people would respect me. But lying on the grass of my new world, I realized all that goddamn money in the world couldn't bring back the year of my life. I lost.

He felt empty. He felt scared. His heart was pounding. He thought he was going to die. He forgot how to show emotions other than anger. He was having a breakdown, and as he said, all the goddamn money in the world couldn't bring back the year of my life I lost. So work with me today as we construct the lifestyle for what I call true wealth. Financial security, of course, is part of it, but also health, joy and love.

So what comes to mind for you when you think about wealthy people? Well, when we think of wealthy people, a lot of times we think of the super rich, like the Bill Gates, the Elon musks, the movie stars and sports stars of the world. I agree they have a lot of money. But I believe that true wealth is more than the material possessions we own or the money we have in the bank. Without health, companionship and love, purpose and joy, all the money and things we accumulate won't provide us with a meaningful third chapter of life. I spent many years watching my dad worry about money. Did we have enough? Would we lose it? Don't waste it. As you heard in his story, the pursuit of money wore him down. We give money a lot of power, but money doesn't return love to us.

It doesn't return health to us. Money doesn't give us our sense of purpose and joy. Without all of these things, our third chapter of life could turn out to be an empty vessel, no matter how much money we have. So let's dig in. And the first pillar of wealth is financial security. But how much money is enough to feel financially secure? I think if I asked 100 people on the street, I suspect I would get 100 different answers because there are many factors that go into it. There are questions like, what type of lifestyle do you want to live? Do you want to travel? How often are you a home buddy? Is your home paid off? Do you want to eat out all the time? Or do you like cooking? Are you considering a continuing care community or are you considering aging at home? Do you have a pension to depend on? When will you take Social Security, and how much is that? Are you in a lot of debt or are you debt free? Are you still supporting children or aging parents? And what is your longevity? Literacy? Do you have a good idea of how many years you might live without a salary? And how is your health? And how long did your parents live? As I said, there are a lot of factors that go into answering the question, how much is enough? It's difficult for me to talk about money as an expert because I don't see myself as a money expert. I also don't see myself as a student of money.

I do know that we need money to live comfortably in this country, which is why I spent this past month bringing on experts to talk about saving and investing, buying and selling taxes, Social Security and Medicare, and how to protect the money we have from all the criminals trying to scam us out of it. But as I said, I am not a money expert or a money student. I am a participant in the use of money and I know I can't stick my head in the sand and just hope that I will have enough as my guest Richard Eisenberg suggested, I have been working with a financial planner for several years now. Before I settled on the planners that I use, I had tried several different ones and I just didn't feel that they took the time to know me and really kind of understand what would be best for me. Now I feel like I've built a trusting relationship with my planners. I can call them anytime I have a question. They've increased my confidence that if I manage my money carefully, I should have enough to last me the rest of my life. So I would suggest shopping around for a planner you feel comfortable with and a fee only planner, not one who makes money on you buying and selling stocks.

I also have an emergency fund and that is another part of feeling financially secure. If the AC breaks down or the car breaks down, you want to have enough money to handle an emergency and not have to put it on your credit card and go into debt. I also feel fortunate to have long term care insurance, and I got that when I was 50, so that gives me some confidence that my money will not run out if I should get sick and need extended care. But all of that is the business side of money. It's necessary and at least to me, not all that much fun to talk about. So let's talk fun. Let's talk about how money can get us some of the things we desire. One of my desires is to travel at least once a year.

This requires setting aside some money each year that will only be used for travel. Being part of something like the boomer believers or Rotary Club or other groups where you feel valued may require some money and gives you a sense of community and fun. Lunch with friends, gifts for grandchildren, home projects all require money and they bring us pleasure. So let's install the first pillar of true wealth, financial security. Here are a few things to consider. Be clear about what you have and what you will need for the rest of your life. Make a plan. Seek out experts like financial planners, tax accountants, insurance agents to explore what you need to give you the financial security that you want.

Become aware of your longevity literacy based on the age you are now and your health, and how old your parents were when they passed. That will give you a more realistic idea of how long you might live. Of course, there are no guarantees with that, but it will help you in your planning and make sure to add some fun into your plan. So the next pillar to true wealth is health. And even with all the money in the world, there is one factor that impacts our overall health, which is somewhat out of our control, our genetic heredity. However, even if we have inherited tendencies towards things like high cholesterol or high blood pressure, there are lifestyle adjustments we can make to have what I call health wealth. We would have access to good medical care, we would have a commitment to a lifestyle of health, and we would have a curious outlook that encourages us to keep learning. So let's break this down.

Having a commitment to a healthy lifestyle means being committed to staying active, eating well, and maintaining a positive outlook. Whether you love it or hate it, physical activity is a cornerstone of healthy aging. Scientific evidence suggests that people who exercise regularly not only live longer, but also may live better, meaning they enjoy more years of life without pain or disability. Regular physical activity helps improve our muscle mass, enhance our cardiovascular health, and improve bone density. And for women in particular, strength training is crucial for maintaining bone health, which may be compromised due to hormonal changes associated with aging. Strength training and cardiovascular exercise not only improve our physical health, but but they also have positive mental health benefits. Engaging in regular exercise releases endorphins, which act as natural mood lifters. Ideally, finding activities that bring us joy will give us the desire to engage in them more frequently.

Consider activities like dancing, hiking, tennis or pickleball, swimming, yoga or group exercise classes, or walking with a friend, preferably briskly, or listening to music or a podcast while you walk, like boomer, banter also provides you with a healthy activity. Studies have shown that active adults have lower rates of heart disease, diabetes and cancer than their sedentary counterparts. And in addition, if you should have one of these chronic illnesses, your chances of managing it well are better when you're active. Okay, so let's get moving. And now let's talk about what you're eating. All of the guests on boomer banter who have talked to us about nutrition have said that as we age, we need more protein. Incorporating sources like lean meat, fish, poultry, legumes and a low fat dairy into every meal will help us meet our protein requirements. Adding in fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains makes for an overall healthy eating.

Obviously, we're all different and you need to adjust these foods to your own needs. Basically, stay away from processed foods and sugary foods as much as possible. Not always possible. Sometimes it's nice to have a treat, but as much as possible. Another important thing to remember as we age is to stay hydrated, especially with the heat many of us are experiencing now. I've seen the effects of dehydration several times in some of my older friends, and I experienced some of the fatigue and rapid heartbeat of dehydration the other day. It can be very dangerous. Do not trust the sensation of being thirsty to tell you when you need to drink.

That sensation may be too late. Try to have water or sugar free drinks with you all the time if possible. I know this can be a difficult habit to start, but once you get started, you will be glad that you did. Another component of our healthy lifestyle is our mental health. We all know that loneliness is an epidemic in older adults and it's gotten worse since the pandemic. Humans are social animals, even introverts, and establishing and maintaining strong social connections are vital to our mental health. These connections can be with a partner, friends, children, or through a volunteer organization. To truly have health wealth, you will want to feel connected to others in some positive way.

Do you remember when my guest, Doctor David Bernstein was on several months ago? He was a gerontologist who we spoke to. He delighted in the significance of maintaining an optimistic outlook, expressing gratitude, and practicing kindness. He explained that these attitudes have physiological benefits, including improved mental health and reduced stress. Being grateful and kind certainly can enhance our personal relationships and create a supportive environment, contributing to our overall happiness and life satisfaction. So, to have true wealth, we need to install the pillar of health to our structure. And we do this by staying active, eating nutritious meals that include protein, fresh fruits and vegetables, and whole grains, staying hydrated, maintaining strong social connections, and having an optimistic and grateful attitude, which leads us to the pillar of the wealth of joy. So first, let me distinguish between happiness and joy. Happiness is great.

We all want to be happy, but happy is a fleeting emotion. We may feel happy when, let's say you're eating your favorite ice cream, but then the ice cream's gone. You may not be as happy after that. Joy, on the other hand, is more of a state of being, and that is driven by some internal motivation, like working towards a goal or finding a purpose in life. Will you experience joy all the time if you're working towards a goal or following your purpose? Of course not. We will all have bad days, some worse than others. So where does joy go then? You may be angry, worried, helpless, or feel like a victim when that bad day is happening or that bad event. When you're feeling those feelings, you're unable to see solutions or definitely unable to see a silver lining.

Perfectly normal to feel those feelings. That's part of our lizard brain talking. But joy will not find its way into your inner joy reservoir. If you stay in these negative emotional states. When you can start to process the day with a more hopeful lens, you will find that the day may still suck, but you know it will not suck forever. That is because once you can flip from hopeless to hopeful, your joy reservoir will begin to help you believe that things will work out. You will start to see better possibilities. And in addition to nurturing joy with a sense of hopefulness, you can also nurture joy by recognizing what you can control and accepting what you cannot.

I want to share an ancient legend with you about a widowed chinese farmer. The farmer and his son labored through the cold winds of winter and scorching rays of summer with their last remaining horse. One day, the son did not lock the gate of the stable, and the horse bolted away. When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, what sadness this is. Without your horse, you'll be unable to maintain the farm. What a failure that your son did not lock the gate properly. This is a great tragedy. And the farmer replied, it could be good.

It could be bad. The next day, the missing horse returned to the stable, bringing with it six wild horses. The farmer's son quickly locked the gate securely behind all seven horses. And when the neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, what happiness this brings. With seven horses, you'll be able to maintain your farm with three and then sell the others. What a blessing. And the farmer replied, it could be good. It could be bad.

The next day, the farmer's son tried to ride one of the wild horses. The horse bucked. His son fell off and broke his leg. Oh, yeah. The neighbor stopped by again and said, oh, what a great sadness this is. Now your son will be unable to help you with the farm work. What a tragedy. And the farmer again replied, it could be good.

It could be bad. A few days later, the emperor's army came through the area, forcibly recruiting all young, able bodied men. Having recently broken his leg, the farmer's son was not forced to go with them. When the neighbors learned that the son would not have to go to war, they said, what a great joy. What a good fortune that your son will not have to fight on the front lines. What a blessing. And again the farmer replied, it could be good, it could be bad. By maintaining a nonjudgmental and accepting attitude, the farmer is creating more contentment for himself, which can create more joy.

And as the first lady Martha Washington said, I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. So here are some tips that I have that might help you build your joy wealth. First, undertake a challenge or set a goal. The process of achieving it may be difficult, but don't make it unattainable. As the saying goes, with a little editing by me, the joy is in the journey, not the destination. I know this to be true because my journey with this podcast has been a journey of joy. I love sharing ideas with you all.

I love learning. I love meeting the amazing guests. I love getting to know some of you. And there have been times when it has been overwhelming and all consuming. There were times when I thought my head would explode and I tried to learn all the technical jargon around podcasting. But I had a goal. And I would say in these past four years, I have felt more joy around this endeavor than I felt in most of my other work. Secondly, practice gratitude.

Certainly there are enough things to annoy us every day. Those are easy to notice. But what are you grateful for today? Do you know there was a time when I could think of nothing to be grateful for. I was sitting in a workshop on gratitude when I was training to be a coach, and I was blank. Life seemed so bleak back then, empty like my dad described his breakdown. So I started to keep a gratitude journal by my bed. Every night before going to sleep, I would write down three things I was grateful for. Simple things like having a bed to sleep in my cat, having hot water in my shower.

Gratitude for the things that we take for granted is powerful. So try practicing gratitude to build your joy wealth. Three things every day. Third, disconnect from technology when you can constantly looking at news or watching other people's lives on social media channels or checking for that next email blocks your joy wealth because it is addictive. We end up spending more time than we intended. We go down these rabbit holes. You will be better off when you use technology rather than letting technology rule your time. Pursue a purpose.

This is something we talked a lot about over the past several years, and the word purpose seems so big, right? But what it really means is to have meaning in your life. Have a reason to get up in the morning, make a difference in someone's life in whatever way you can. The more you understand what brings you meaning, the more joy, wealth, you will have and practice being nonjudgmental and finding contentment in whatever circumstance you find yourself in. So the lifestyle of true wealth is coming. Together. We have the pillar of financial security, the pillar of health, and the pillar of joy. We need our final pillar, the pillar of love, as it says in Corinthians 1313, and now these three remain, faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

And in Corinthians 13, four through 13 seven, love is defined like this. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others. And it is not self seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. We need this pillar of love to bring meaning to the other pillars of true wealth. Without love of self and love for and from others, the pillars of money, health and joy don't seem that important. We already agreed that money can't buy you love. So love does not depend on our financial well being. And we saw how being financially well off, without knowing how to give love to yourself or others in your life, can feel pretty empty. I believe love of self is where true love begins. And practicing self care, like staying active, eating well, having a positive mental attitude, those are ways of showing self love.

And that brings us back to the health pillar. We also talked about the importance of social connection for our health and for our joy. Feeling the love for a friend, a family member, a partner, and feeling that love returned, that strengthens our social connections and finally find meaning in things you love. Do you love gardening like I do? Ask yourself what having a garden means to you. Do you love visiting grandchildren? Oh, probably some meaning and purpose in that activity. Do you love the work you're doing, whether paid or volunteer? What's the meaning you get from that work? So having financial security gives us peace of mind, which adds to our true wealth lifestyle. Having a commitment to your health will mean acting on some of the ideas we discussed to live a healthier life. The second pillar of the true wealth lifestyle, having joy in our lives, which comes from a sense of purpose and an attitude of gratitude, is the third pillar of wealth.

But as it says in corinthians, the greatest of these is love. Without love, what does all the wealth in the world really mean? What do you think? I'd really love to see your comments. So Boomer Banter is going to take three weeks off in July, which means I'm taking off three weeks in July. I'll be back with a new episode on July 22, but there are now 192 episodes of Boomer Banter. So go back and catch up on what you may have missed while I'm out taking a break. And remember, if you want to talk with Kathy Stokes from AARP, join us on the Boomer believers tomorrow. Go to buymeacoffee.com heyboomer 0413 and sign up and I will send you the link for that. And each episode of Boomer banter is an invitation to listen, learn, and apply the wisdom, hopefully, that you gained today to your own life.

We are a supportive community, so reach out and join the community and share our episodes with your friends. The Boomer banter is produced by me, Wendy Green, and the music is written and performed by my grandson who is a student at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts. Thank you all for joining me today and I will see you in a few weeks.