It is so easy to think that our lives are only forged in the big moments of choice and decision. The truth is that it can be the smaller, moment-to moment- decisions that can end up making a very major difference over time. In today's episode it is time to realise that the small things really do matter if you want to change your life.

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hello there my friend Jonathan Dole with you I am pleased to be speaking with you

today wherever you're listening in the world I'm looking forward to this episode

It's actually the weekend here in the studio but this just this idea's being

bubbling away for a couple of days and I wanted to get it down in the studio today

It'll go out tomorrow I almost wanna hit publish straight away because it's an

important idea It's a simple one And I think that a lot of the big things that

can change our lives they're simple I think we're in this complex technological

world that we live in at the moment We're often thinking that we're gonna really

turn our lives around That the answer must be complex multifaceted multi-tiered

when really the great ideas the things that really work have been tried and

tested over often thousands of years I was reading today some some stuff from

Cicero the great Roman orator of little who's around the Thomas of Caesar And

these ideas that the great men and women of history have thought of are often

pretty straightforward And today we're gonna be talking about one of the most

basic ones but it's one that has enormous power And we're gonna talk today about

decision It's something I've been teaching on for many years It was a really crucial

chapter in the first book that I wrote bridging the Gap and it's the power of

decision The first thing I need you to understand of course is that decision

comes from the Latin route Deo and Deo means to cut off from to cut away from So

it's you're trying to leave the dock in a boat but you realize that the rope is

still tied to the docks So you cut it off you cut away from the dock It's a decis

to cut away from So I used to often teach people that a decision It's often not just

something that we choose to do but often something we choose to get away from We

get a clean break from something So today I wanna talk about how these decisions

that are so important in our lives are often being shaped so fast and so quickly

that we don't realize the impact that they're having I'm gonna give you a very

simple example and then I'm gonna help you understand how the decisions that shape

your life are happening so fast That we've gotta get good at paying more attention.

So, as many of you guys know, one of the things I take very

seriously is fitness and training.

It's been something that's been central to my life for many, many years.

But anybody that takes training seriously knows that, uh, what's that great line?

You can't out train a bad diet.

So you could train for like hours a day, but if you weren't, if

your nutrition was off, it kind of massively undermines your goal.

And so one of the things I try and do, I'm sure like you often try to do

is just, you know, eat sensibly, eat well, try and eat to help, uh, support

the goals that you have in training.

So the other day, I, uh, I've just come outta the gym and I raced

across the supermarket 'cause I wanna grab some stuff for the kids.

And, and Karen said to me, she's like, you know, um, can you

get some snacks for the kids?

Look, this is, this is a truth that all dads are gonna understand.

I don't know what snacks for kids means.

I mean, for some people it means celery and carrot sticks.

For some people it means something else, right?

I'm, I'm racing through the supermarket and I see this, this, this package,

magnificent cookies and I, I gotta be honest, I've actually sampled one of these

cookies before and they are magnificent.

They're so magnificent.

They're kind of like McDonald's shakes, which I haven't had many years.

It's kind of like they're so magnificent that you don't want to know what's in

them, because something in your brain says, this is so magnificently delicious.

That if I was to know what they'd put in this, it would truly spoil the experience.

So these are the, you know, they're just these massive chunks

of chocolate in the cookies.

And I thought, ah, snacks, kids, what kid wouldn't like that?

So I kind of absent mindedly, grab this cookie box of cookies and go about my day.

Right?

And then the cookies are sitting out there and, and I'm going through

the day and I'm working away.

And then I, I sort of, I breeze past the kitchen at some point,

and then there's these cookies.

And before I blink.

I have sent, sent two of these cookies to a better place.

And you're going, Jonathan, seriously, the, the topic, this, this is the

focus of our time together today.

Your, your struggle with cookies.

No, there's a big teaching point behind this, so stay with me.

So.

Within seconds.

I'm like, two cookies down.

And I'm gotta be really honest.

Can I be honest with you?

Just between the two of us, they're not small cookies, right?

Like, they're kind of like the Texas of cookies.

They're, they'd be cookies and I've just destroyed two of them.

And there's this thing in your brain and my, in my brain,

it's going, oh look, it's fine.

You've, you've already run this morning, you've been to the

gym, you can have these cookies.

And then there's the other angel on my shoulder's going really like, do

you know how far you would've had to have run to justify those two gies?

So that was the experience.

And then like, I'm sure you've been through many times after

you've had an experience like this, you're like, what was I thinking?

Like what?

What that just no, why?

And you feel like you've undermined yourself and, alright, here's

what, here's, here's where I wanna draw your attention.

This is the point.

What I realized is that the outcome, what's the outcome at the end?

The outcome is I've sort of temporarily undermined my diet.

I've undermined some of the training.

I've sort of, but I start to work through that.

I go, how did that happen?

Like I'm somebody with really strong, you know, willpower,

like, how did this happen to me?

And then I trace it back and I think the decision to grab those cookies

off the shelf happened so fast.

It was just like the decision was happening really quickly and

the environment conditioned it.

So also, I won't go deep into that, but also we'll make the point that

our environments will often condition the kinds of decisions we're making.

Uh.

But the decision happened so fast and I grabbed this thing and keep moving.

But then the impact of that rapid decision was then me being, you

know, having the opportunity to attack two of these cookies later.

So what I wanna draw attention to is that often when we're trying

to change our lives, we're trying to make significant changes, we're

trying to improve something, we don't realize the impact of these small

and rapid and momentary decisions.

And the impact of those decisions on the bigger picture.

So do you understand what I'm getting at, like this, this, this in the moment

decision, this rapid quick decision?

Oh, I'll just grab those.

Was a decision that then had implications later on that worked against these

kind of core goals that I have now.

I know you're listening to this going, Jonathan.

It's like, this is not like a United Nations general Assembly crisis, right?

Like Jonathan's eating of two cookies is not gonna really be something

on the stage of world history.

I get it.

But I'm trying to use this, leverage, this example, to show you how it's those small

decisions that we're making throughout the day that can often, you know, really.

Affect the results that we're trying to create.

So what do you do?

It occurred to me that one of the things we're gonna need to address

this is we're gonna need good filters.

So I teach this many, many times over the years that we want good filters.

Our good filters.

We basically want.

A kind of a, a, a tool by which we evaluate decisions in the moment,

in real time, and it's gonna be a simple filter that we can use quickly.

So for me, it could be something as like, you know, it, it can be

like a mantra, like, you know, three words, that's not me.

So I see the cookies, that's not me.

It's a filter, right?

It's like, why is that not me?

Because look, I'm not saying I should never have one, but I'm saying in general.

I'm trying to model to people.

These principles that I teach, I'm trying to model it to my family.

I wanna be in good shape.

I take training seriously.

Why waste all this time if I'm gonna undermine it this

way, that's not me, right?

So you need a filter.

So maybe there's something in your life at the moment that is undermining your

success and it's like, oh, I keep doing this, I keep doing this, keep doing this.

A couple of things I want you to, to get good at.

Paying attention in the moment.

Which kind of requires us to be present, so you've actually

gotta just pay attention.

Look, as I've said in almost every episode forever, the price of an uncommon life

is that you have to do uncommon things.

If you just filter, if you just go through life like everybody else, you're

gonna get exactly the same outcomes.

So you want to get good at kind of, okay, switch on, hang on, hang on.

Where am I?

What am I doing?

What's important to me?

Who am I?

What am I trying to accomplish?

And we filter our decisions with that throughout the day, how we speak to

people, what we eat, whether we train, what we read, how we use our attention.

We want to be more switched on to reality itself.

And then the second thing is when we're tempted, we want good filters, right?

So you want a filter.

That serves your larger goals.

Like, yeah, I really want that thing.

And it's not about denial.

It's not about going, well, I don't like cookies.

Cookies are terrible, man, cookies are amazing.

I mean, God bless Dr. Cookie or whoever it was that invented the first cookie,

because these things are just magnificent.

So we're not in denial because we're human and we know that we're attracted to

things and the things aren't necessarily bad in themselves, but they can

undermine what we're trying to achieve.

So presence in the moment.

Be switched on to your environment when you know there's likely to be challenges

and then have a filter that's not me, or this is not who I am, or This thing's more

important, or your sense of self, right?

You gotta have that sense of who you are and what you were trying

to achieve because that will give you the filter that you need in the

moment to create better results.

And a final thing that I won't go into detail too much with, you know, if you

want to actually address things like.

The cookie problem itself, for example, uh, I, as you know, I train a lot, but

I've got, man, I've got a sweet tooth.

I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's like, I don't know, maybe I need more dopamine.

I don't know.

But it's like, it's like I could just, I'm the kind of guy that, you know,

if there was a cookie dough machine and it had a handle and I was having

a particularly bad day, I'm the kind of guy that could just lie on my

back and pull the handle and just.

Let the cookie dough machine do its thing.

All right.

So it's like, one thing I've learned is you gotta replace

that with something else.

So you've gotta have, like there's other protein shakes and things

that I can use when I'm training a lot that will replace that.

Um, and there's a lot of companies now that make really good, uh,

protein-based snacks that are just gonna replace that sugar hit.

So I guess if we're gonna say there's three things here, there's one.

Presence in the moment.

Be aware of your temptation.

Second, have a good filter that helps you filter your decisions in real time.

And third, be honest enough to recognize what you're attracted

to and then build some kind of strategy or replacement strategy.

Okay.

So I hope that's helpful.

That's just, uh, I guess the summary of this is realize that the decisions

that you think are just momentary.

Are often much more than momentary, but decisions that you make, uh, in

the spur of the moment can actually have significant impacts on who you're

becoming over a longer period of time.

So let's pay attention to those.

Let's filter them well, and let's get replacement strategies in place.

Okay, that's it for me.

Everything's on the website.

Jonathan Doyle dot co.co.

Jonathan do.co.

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Jay Doyle speaks.

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Jay Doyle speaks.

I'm speaking in the US in October, November, January, and if you would like

to find out about booking me to speak or working with me in a consultancy

or executive coaching capacity, it's all on the website, Jonathan doer.co.

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