Artwork for podcast The Voice of Dog
[18+] “The First to Know” by Patrigue (read by Kergiby)
11th June 2026 • The Voice of Dog • Rob MacWolf and guests
00:00:00 00:21:11

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[18+] Spending the night together, Perci recounts her time with a previous lover to Patrigue, her current avian boyfriend. Her story brings about a revelation to the bird, as well as some complicated feelings he’s not sure how to handle.

Today’s story is “The First to Know” by Patrigue, a writer and art commissioner that enjoys writing stories about nudism, exhibitionism, consensual kink, and the LGBTQ+ community, and you can find more of his stories on FurAffinity, SoFurry, and BlueSky.

Read by Kergiby, a Full-Time Panther.

thevoice.dog | Apple podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts

If you have a story you think would be a good fit, you can check out the requirements, fill out the submission template and get in touch with us.

https://thevoice.dog/episode/18-the-first-to-know-by-patrigue

Transcripts

Speaker:

Today's

Speaker:

story

Speaker:

concerns

Speaker:

adult

Speaker:

subject

Speaker:

matter

Speaker:

for

Speaker:

mature

Speaker:

listeners.

Speaker:

If

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that's

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not

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your

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cup

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of

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tea,

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or

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there

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are

Speaker:

youngsters

Speaker:

listening,

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please

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skip

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this

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one

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and

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come

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back

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for

Speaker:

another

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story

Speaker:

another

Speaker:

time.

You’re

Speaker:

listening

Speaker:

to

Speaker:

Pride

Speaker:

Month

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on

Speaker:

The

Speaker:

Voice

Speaker:

of

Speaker:

Dog.

Speaker:

This

Speaker:

is

Speaker:

Rob

Speaker:

MacWolf,

Speaker:

your

Speaker:

fellow

Speaker:

traveler,

Speaker:

and

Speaker:

Today’s

Speaker:

story

Speaker:

is “The

Speaker:

First

Speaker:

to

Speaker:

Know”

Speaker:

by

Speaker:

Patrigue,

Speaker:

a

Speaker:

writer

Speaker:

and

Speaker:

art

Speaker:

commissioner

Speaker:

that

Speaker:

enjoys

Speaker:

writing

Speaker:

stories

Speaker:

about

Speaker:

nudism,

Speaker:

exhibitionism,

Speaker:

consensual

Speaker:

kink,

Speaker:

and

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

LGBTQ+

Speaker:

community, and

Speaker:

you

Speaker:

can

Speaker:

find

Speaker:

more

Speaker:

of

Speaker:

his

Speaker:

stories

Speaker:

on

Speaker:

FurAffinity,

Speaker:

SoFurry,

Speaker:

and

Speaker:

BlueSky.

Read

Speaker:

by

Speaker:

Kergiby,

Speaker:

a

Speaker:

Full-Time Panther.

There

Speaker:

is

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no

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wrong

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way

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to

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come

Speaker:

out.

Speaker:

No

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wrong

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moment

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to

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realize.

Speaker:

By

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way

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of

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demonstration,

Speaker:

even

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in

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the

Speaker:

wake

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of

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arguably

Speaker:

the

Speaker:

most

Speaker:

heterosexual

Speaker:

act

Speaker:

possible,

Speaker:

any

Speaker:

person,

Speaker:

should

Speaker:

they

Speaker:

be

Speaker:

safe

Speaker:

and

Speaker:

trustworthy,

Speaker:

may

Speaker:

legitimately

become:





“The

become:

First

become:

to

become:

Know”

become:

by

become:

Patrigue


Oh,

become:

truth.

Plain

become:

and

become:

nuanced.

become:

Naked

become:

and

become:

hidden.

become:

Gospel

become:

and

become:

morbid.

Some

become:

are

become:

widely

become:

understood

become:

and

become:

accepted,

become:

while

become:

others

become:

are

become:

cast

become:

aside

become:

and

become:

denounced

become:

as

become:

falsehoods—or

become:

worse,

become:

heresy.

become:

Either

become:

way,

become:

all of

become:

these

become:

many,

become:

many

become:

truths

become:

out

become:

in

become:

the

become:

world

become:

have

become:

one

become:

thing

become:

in

common:

common:

they

common:

exist

common:

regardless.

However,

common:

such

common:

philosophy

common:

is

common:

seldom

common:

on

common:

the

common:

mind,

common:

especially

common:

for

common:

lovers

common:

in

common:

the

common:

throws

common:

of

common:

passion.

common:

No,

common:

more

common:

important

common:

details

common:

permeated

common:

their

minds:

minds:

the

minds:

curves

minds:

of

minds:

each

minds:

other’s

minds:

bodies,

minds:

the

minds:

electrifying

minds:

stimulation

minds:

of

minds:

their

minds:

erogenous

minds:

zones,

minds:

and

minds:

the

minds:

occasional

minds:

prayer

minds:

that

minds:

the

minds:

parrot’s

minds:

roommate

minds:

would

minds:

notice

minds:

the

minds:

sock

minds:

on

minds:

the

minds:

doorknob

minds:

before

minds:

entering.

minds:

It

minds:

wasn’t

minds:

until

minds:

the

minds:

concurrent

minds:

overflow

minds:

of

minds:

pleasure

minds:

brought

minds:

both

minds:

of

minds:

them

minds:

back

minds:

to

minds:

consciousness

minds:

of

minds:

the

minds:

world

minds:

around

minds:

them.

“Did

minds:

we…

minds:

at

minds:

the

minds:

same

minds:

time?”

minds:

the

minds:

avian

minds:

asked.

“I

minds:

think

minds:

so,”

minds:

the

minds:

canine

minds:

above

minds:

him

minds:

replied

minds:

as

minds:

she

minds:

carefully

minds:

removed

minds:

him

minds:

from

minds:

herself. “Hold

minds:

on.

minds:

Need

minds:

to

minds:

pee.”

The

minds:

bird,

minds:

too,

minds:

felt

minds:

the

minds:

call

minds:

of

minds:

nature,

minds:

but

minds:

patiently

minds:

waited

minds:

his

minds:

turn

minds:

to

minds:

freshen

minds:

up.

minds:

Mere

minds:

moments

minds:

later,

minds:

with

minds:

both

minds:

parties

minds:

relieved,

minds:

the

minds:

two

minds:

were

minds:

back in

minds:

each

minds:

other’s

minds:

embrace,

minds:

spooned

minds:

together

minds:

in

minds:

a

minds:

post-coital

minds:

cuddle.

“Hey,

minds:

Perci,”

minds:

the

minds:

bird

minds:

piped

minds:

up, “have

minds:

you

minds:

ever

minds:

done

minds:

that

minds:

before?”

“You

minds:

mean…

minds:

at

minds:

the

minds:

same

minds:

time?”

“Yeah.”

She

minds:

paused.

minds:

She

minds:

knew

minds:

the

minds:

answer,

minds:

of

minds:

course.

minds:

How

minds:

could

minds:

she

minds:

forget?

minds:

However,

minds:

recalling

minds:

only

minds:

that

minds:

one

minds:

time

minds:

would’ve

minds:

been

minds:

an

minds:

insult

minds:

to

minds:

the

minds:

many

minds:

months

minds:

she

minds:

spent

minds:

with

minds:

her

minds:

former

minds:

lover.

minds:

With

minds:

all

minds:

the

minds:

sights

minds:

they

minds:

saw

minds:

together.

minds:

With

minds:

how

minds:

well

minds:

she

minds:

committed

minds:

each

minds:

inch

minds:

of

minds:

her

minds:

partner’s

minds:

body

minds:

to

minds:

memory.

minds:

With

minds:

all

minds:

those

minds:

saccharine

minds:

words

minds:

whispered

minds:

into

minds:

her

minds:

ears as

minds:

she

minds:

moaned

minds:

the

minds:

nights

minds:

away.

“Perci?”

minds:

he

minds:

craned

minds:

his

minds:

head

minds:

up.

“I

minds:

did,”

minds:

she

minds:

returned,

minds:

a

minds:

blush

minds:

on

minds:

her

minds:

face. “Back

minds:

when

minds:

I

minds:

was

minds:

in

minds:

Berlin.”

“Berlin?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Heh,

minds:

I

minds:

guess

minds:

you

minds:

can

minds:

get

minds:

laid

minds:

in

minds:

Germany

minds:

after

minds:

all.”

“Who

minds:

said

minds:

you

minds:

couldn’t?”

“I’m

minds:

not

minds:

saying

minds:

you

minds:

can’t.

minds:

It’s

minds:

just

minds:

there’s

minds:

this

minds:

one

minds:

German

minds:

metal

minds:

song

minds:

where

minds:

one

minds:

of

minds:

the

minds:

lines

minds:

is

minds:

literally, ‘I

minds:

can’t

minds:

get

minds:

laid

minds:

in

minds:

Germany!’”

She

minds:

laughed, “Sounds

minds:

like

minds:

incel

minds:

thinking.”

“Actually,

minds:

I

minds:

think

minds:

it

minds:

might

minds:

be

minds:

a

minds:

satire

minds:

of

minds:

that?

minds:

Maybe?

minds:

I

minds:

don’t

minds:

know,”

minds:

he

minds:

acquiesced. “So

minds:

what

minds:

were

minds:

you

minds:

doing

minds:

in

minds:

Germany

minds:

anyway?”

“Studying

minds:

abroad.”

“Oh,

minds:

nice.

minds:

I’d

minds:

love

minds:

to

minds:

do

minds:

that

minds:

someday.”

“Oh

minds:

yeah,

minds:

even

minds:

without

minds:

the

minds:

love

minds:

affair,

minds:

it

minds:

was

minds:

an

minds:

awesome

minds:

time.”

“Yeah,

minds:

but

minds:

I

minds:

bet it

minds:

was

minds:

more fun

minds:

with

minds:

it,

minds:

right?”

minds:

He

minds:

teased,

minds:

sliding

minds:

a

minds:

hand

minds:

across

minds:

her

minds:

hip.

“Oh,

minds:

without

minds:

a

minds:

doubt.

minds:

Luca

minds:

made

minds:

it

minds:

a

minds:

hundred

minds:

times

minds:

better.”

“Luca,

minds:

huh?

minds:

How’d

minds:

you

minds:

two

minds:

meet?”

“Well,

minds:

my

minds:

first

minds:

semester

minds:

there,

minds:

I

minds:

took

minds:

German

minds:

II.

minds:

I

minds:

already

minds:

aced

minds:

German

minds:

I

minds:

back

minds:

home,

minds:

but…”

minds:

she

minds:

shook

minds:

her

minds:

head. “Advanced

minds:

German

minds:

grammar

minds:

is

minds:

an

minds:

absolute

minds:

puzzle.

minds:

Nothing

minds:

like

minds:

English

minds:

grammar

minds:

at

minds:

all.

minds:

So,

minds:

my

minds:

first

minds:

few

minds:

classes,

minds:

I

minds:

kinda

minds:

sucked.

minds:

So,

minds:

I

minds:

visited

minds:

the

minds:

TA’s

minds:

office

minds:

hours.”

She

minds:

wished

minds:

she

minds:

could

minds:

remember

minds:

that

minds:

day,

minds:

their

minds:

first

minds:

meeting,

minds:

the

minds:

lynx’s

minds:

outfit,

minds:

any

minds:

small

minds:

gestures

minds:

of

minds:

courtesy

minds:

that

minds:

foreshadowed

minds:

their

minds:

inevitable

minds:

relationship.

minds:

Unfortunately,

minds:

she

minds:

couldn’t

minds:

even

minds:

remember

minds:

what

minds:

day

minds:

of

minds:

the

minds:

week

minds:

it

minds:

was,

minds:

and

minds:

all

minds:

she

minds:

could

minds:

say

minds:

was, “Lo

minds:

and

minds:

behold,

minds:

there

minds:

was

minds:

the

minds:

lynx

minds:

that

minds:

would

minds:

eventually

minds:

steal

minds:

my

minds:

heart.”

“Luca?”

“Yep,

minds:

Luca.

minds:

At

minds:

first,

minds:

I

minds:

visited

minds:

just

minds:

for

minds:

extra

minds:

tutoring,

minds:

but,

minds:

over

minds:

time,

minds:

as

minds:

I

minds:

got

minds:

better

minds:

with

minds:

the

minds:

material,

minds:

we

minds:

talked

minds:

less

minds:

about

minds:

grammar

minds:

and

minds:

homework

minds:

and

minds:

more

minds:

about…

minds:

whatever

minds:

we

wanted:

wanted:

movies,

wanted:

music,

wanted:

politics,

wanted:

et cetera.

wanted:

We

wanted:

even

wanted:

swapped

wanted:

numbers

wanted:

so

wanted:

we

wanted:

could

wanted:

text

wanted:

each

wanted:

other.

“Finally,

wanted:

the

wanted:

end

wanted:

of

wanted:

the

wanted:

semester

wanted:

came

wanted:

and

wanted:

so

wanted:

did

wanted:

my

wanted:

final

wanted:

grades.

wanted:

In

wanted:

German

wanted:

II,

wanted:

I got a 1.9 average.”

“Oof! That must’ve

wanted:

stung.”

“No, Pat!

wanted:

That’s

wanted:

actually

wanted:

great!

wanted:

See,

wanted:

German

wanted:

college

wanted:

grading

wanted:

is

wanted:

the

wanted:

total

wanted:

opposite

wanted:

of

ours:

ours:

the

ours:

lower,

ours:

the

ours:

better.

ours:

So

ours:

anything between 1.5 and 2.5 is like a

ours:

B

ours:

grade.”

“Oh!”

“Yep,

ours:

and

ours:

I couldn’t

ours:

have

ours:

done

ours:

it

ours:

without

ours:

Luca’s

ours:

help.

ours:

So,

ours:

I

ours:

wanted to

ours:

do

ours:

something

ours:

nice

ours:

as

ours:

thanks,

ours:

like

ours:

lunch

ours:

or

ours:

something.”

“Or

ours:

a

ours:

simultaneous

ours:

orgasm?”

ours:

He

ours:

flirted

ours:

with

ours:

a

ours:

talon down

ours:

the

ours:

back

ours:

of

ours:

her

ours:

neck.

“Down,

ours:

boy.

ours:

I’m

ours:

getting

ours:

to

ours:

that,”

ours:

Perci

ours:

retorted. “Oh,

ours:

that

ours:

actually

ours:

reminds

ours:

me.

ours:

Funny

ours:

story.

ours:

So

ours:

I

ours:

mentioned

ours:

we

ours:

would

ours:

text

ours:

each

ours:

other,

ours:

right?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Well,

ours:

we

ours:

would

ours:

always

ours:

text

ours:

in

ours:

German.

ours:

You

ours:

know,

ours:

to

ours:

help

ours:

me

ours:

learn

ours:

the

ours:

language

ours:

better.

ours:

So,

ours:

last

ours:

week of

ours:

the

ours:

semester,

ours:

I

ours:

sent

ours:

a

ours:

message

ours:

that

ours:

I

ours:

thought

ours:

said, ‘Do

ours:

you

ours:

want

ours:

to

ours:

go

ours:

out

ours:

to

ours:

eat

ours:

with

ours:

me?’”

“…and?”

“Apparently,

ours:

I

ours:

made

ours:

a

ours:

grammatical

ours:

mistake

ours:

and, as

ours:

Luca

ours:

explained,

ours:

I

ours:

accidentally

ours:

wrote

ours:

something

ours:

closer

ours:

to ‘Do

ours:

you

ours:

want

ours:

to

ours:

go

ours:

and

ours:

eat

ours:

me

ours:

out?’”

Ah,

ours:

there’s

ours:

the

ours:

foreshadowing!

“Oh

ours:

Lord!”

ours:

he

ours:

squawked,

ours:

rolling

ours:

onto

ours:

his

ours:

back

ours:

lest

ours:

the

ours:

jiggling

ours:

of

ours:

his

ours:

giggling

ours:

belly

ours:

knock

ours:

his

ours:

partner

ours:

off

ours:

the

ours:

bed.

“Yeah,

ours:

we

ours:

switched

ours:

to

ours:

English

ours:

to

ours:

avoid

ours:

any

ours:

more

ours:

mistakes,

ours:

but

ours:

other

ours:

than

ours:

that

ours:

we

ours:

agreed

ours:

to

ours:

hang

ours:

out

ours:

for

ours:

lunch.

ours:

The

ours:

next

ours:

day,

ours:

we

ours:

go

ours:

to

ours:

this Frikadelle place.”

“Frikadelle?”

“Yeah,

ours:

German

ours:

meatballs.”

“Ah.”

“So,

ours:

we

ours:

eat,

ours:

we

ours:

chat,

ours:

I

ours:

pay

ours:

the

ours:

bill,

ours:

and

ours:

I

ours:

thought

ours:

that

ours:

would

ours:

be

ours:

it,

ours:

but

ours:

this

ours:

lynx…”

ours:

This

ours:

stunning

ours:

six

ours:

foot,

ours:

spitting

ours:

image

ours:

of

ours:

felinity. “says ‘Hey,

ours:

let’s

ours:

go

ours:

visit

ours:

the

ours:

Berlin

ours:

Wall!’

ours:

So,

ours:

we

ours:

went

ours:

and

ours:

visited

ours:

the

ours:

Berlin

ours:

Wall.”

Truly

ours:

a

ours:

sight

ours:

to

ours:

behold,

ours:

the

ours:

remains

ours:

of

ours:

the

ours:

oppressive

ours:

Cold

ours:

War,

ours:

sprawled

ours:

with

ours:

graffiti,

ours:

promises

ours:

of

ours:

reunion,

ours:

two

ours:

halves

ours:

made

ours:

whole

ours:

again

ours:

through

ours:

pick,

ours:

hammer,

ours:

and

ours:

crane.

ours:

Kissed

ours:

as

ours:

though

ours:

nothing

ours:

could

ours:

fall.

“And

ours:

after

ours:

that

ours:

Luca

ours:

said, ‘Hey,

ours:

let’s

ours:

go

ours:

check

ours:

out

ours:

the

ours:

East

ours:

Side

ours:

Gallery!’”

“So,

ours:

you

ours:

went

ours:

to

ours:

the East

ours:

Side

ours:

Gallery?”

“Of

ours:

course

ours:

we went to

ours:

the

ours:

East

ours:

Side

ours:

Gallery.”

More

ours:

than

ours:

a

ours:

gallery.

ours:

A

ours:

celebration,

ours:

angry

ours:

graffiti

ours:

replaced

ours:

with

ours:

surrealist

ours:

murals

ours:

of

ours:

resilience.

ours:

A

ours:

mortal

ours:

kiss.

ours:

Doves

ours:

breaking

ours:

chains.

ours:

Rainbows

ours:

flowing

ours:

out

ours:

of

ours:

Mutter

ours:

Erde.

“Then

ours:

to

ours:

Potsdamer

ours:

Platz,

ours:

then

ours:

to

ours:

the

ours:

Cathedral.

ours:

Took

ours:

me

ours:

practically

ours:

everywhere.

ours:

I

ours:

mean,

ours:

it's

ours:

not

ours:

like

ours:

I

ours:

was

ours:

forced

ours:

to

ours:

go along

ours:

or

ours:

anything,

ours:

but…

ours:

it

ours:

was

ours:

like…

ours:

like

ours:

a

ours:

really

ours:

good

ours:

book,

ours:

where

ours:

I

ours:

just

ours:

wanted

ours:

to

ours:

keep

ours:

turning the

ours:

page to

ours:

see

ours:

what

ours:

would

ours:

happen

ours:

next.”

Pat

ours:

responded

ours:

with

ours:

a

ours:

hug,

ours:

caressing

ours:

her

ours:

body

ours:

yet

ours:

again, “Sounds

ours:

like

ours:

you

ours:

were

ours:

hoping

ours:

this

ours:

would

ours:

end

ours:

in

ours:

that

ours:

lynx’s

ours:

bed.”

“Hey,

ours:

don’t

ours:

skip

ours:

ahead,”

ours:

she

ours:

scolded,

ours:

with

ours:

a

ours:

love

ours:

tap

ours:

to

ours:

his

ours:

ass,

ours:

eliciting

ours:

a

ours:

chuckle

ours:

from

ours:

the

ours:

bird.

“Anyway,”

ours:

she

ours:

continued, “the

ours:

very

ours:

last

ours:

stop

ours:

for

ours:

the

ours:

night

ours:

was

ours:

this

ours:

bar

ours:

called

ours:

Silverfuture.

ours:

This

ours:

cozy

ours:

little

ours:

place

ours:

where

ours:

it

ours:

seemed

ours:

like

ours:

everyone

ours:

knew

ours:

everyone.

ours:

We

ours:

sat

ours:

down

ours:

and

ours:

watched

ours:

the

ours:

drag

ours:

queens

ours:

on

ours:

stage.”

“Wait,

ours:

drag

ours:

queens?”

“Yeah,

ours:

she

ours:

took

ours:

me

ours:

to

ours:

a

ours:

gay

ours:

bar.”

“She?!”

ours:

The

ours:

avian

ours:

sat up. “Luca

ours:

was

ours:

a

ours:

woman

ours:

this

ours:

whole

ours:

time?”

“Yeah,”

ours:

the canine

ours:

shrugged. “Does it

ours:

matter?”

He

ours:

looked

ours:

around,

ours:

as

ours:

if

ours:

searching

ours:

for

ours:

the

ours:

source

ours:

of

ours:

his own

ours:

outburst,

ours:

until

ours:

he

ours:

lied

ours:

back

ours:

down, “No,

ours:

I

ours:

guess

ours:

not.”

“What’s

ours:

with

ours:

the

ours:

shock?

ours:

You

ours:

were

ours:

there

ours:

when

ours:

Cairo

ours:

and

ours:

I

ours:

fooled

ours:

around,

ours:

weren’t

ours:

you!”

“Yeah,

ours:

but

ours:

that

ours:

was

ours:

just

ours:

a

ours:

scene.

ours:

It’s

ours:

not

ours:

like

ours:

you

ours:

two

ours:

were

ours:

knuckle

ours:

deep in

ours:

each

ours:

other

ours:

or

ours:

anything”

“Pfft,

ours:

knuckle

ours:

deep!”

ours:

she

ours:

snickered. “Oh,

ours:

Pat,

ours:

you

ours:

silly,

ours:

silly

ours:

bird.
Getting

ours:

back

ours:

on

ours:

track,

ours:

we’re

ours:

watching

ours:

the

ours:

show,

ours:

and

ours:

during

ours:

intermission,

ours:

she

ours:

tells

ours:

me

ours:

she used

ours:

to

ours:

be

ours:

a

ours:

drag

ours:

king

ours:

here.

ours:

She

ours:

points

ours:

out

ours:

the

ours:

queens she used

ours:

to

ours:

perform

ours:

with

ours:

and

ours:

tells

ours:

me

ours:

a

ours:

bit

ours:

about

ours:

them

ours:

all.

ours:

Then…

ours:

she

ours:

said

ours:

something

ours:

to

ours:

me.

“‘Perci,’”

ours:

she

ours:

paraphrased

ours:

in

ours:

her

ours:

best

ours:

German

ours:

accent, “‘I

ours:

know

ours:

zis

ours:

place

ours:

is

ours:

not for

ours:

ef’ryvon, but eet is for ef’ryvon

ours:

I

ours:

care

ours:

about.

ours:

You may

ours:

leaf eef

ours:

you

ours:

vish,

ours:

but I am

ours:

happy you

ours:

vere here

ours:

wit

ours:

me,

ours:

efen

ours:

if

ours:

only

ours:

for

ours:

a

ours:

moment.’”

Only

ours:

then

ours:

did

ours:

the

ours:

star

ours:

align in

ours:

Perci’s

ours:

mind

ours:

and

ours:

the

ours:

truth

ours:

shone

ours:

clear

ours:

as

ours:

day.

ours:

This

ours:

club

ours:

wasn’t

ours:

just

ours:

another

ours:

tourist

ours:

attraction

ours:

to

ours:

Luca.

ours:

No,

ours:

none

ours:

of

ours:

their

ours:

destinations

ours:

were.

ours:

From

ours:

the

ours:

words of

ours:

the

ours:

prophets

ours:

that

ours:

were

ours:

written

ours:

on

ours:

the

ours:

Berlin

ours:

Wall,

ours:

to

ours:

this

ours:

very

ours:

bar,

ours:

Perci

ours:

was

ours:

too

ours:

busy

ours:

caught

ours:

up

ours:

in

ours:

being

ours:

a

ours:

tourist

ours:

to

ours:

realize

ours:

she

ours:

was

ours:

a

ours:

guest

ours:

in

ours:

Luca’s

ours:

home.

“That’s…

ours:

Wow…

ours:

she

ours:

really

ours:

just

ours:

bared

ours:

her

ours:

soul

ours:

to

ours:

you

ours:

like

ours:

that,

ours:

huh?”

“Yeah,

ours:

she

ours:

did.”

“So

ours:

how’d you react?”

If only there were words to describe

ours:

how

ours:

she

ours:

felt.

ours:

A

ours:

fire?

ours:

An

ours:

explosion?

ours:

A

ours:

supernova?

ours:

All

ours:

she

ours:

could

ours:

come

ours:

up

ours:

with

ours:

were

ours:

understatements.

“Perci?”

“Sorry,

ours:

just…

ours:

I

ours:

had

ours:

never

ours:

thought

ours:

about

ours:

another

ours:

woman

ours:

like

ours:

that

ours:

before…

ours:

but

ours:

you

ours:

know

ours:

how

ours:

I

ours:

said

ours:

I

ours:

kept

ours:

wanting

ours:

to

ours:

see

ours:

what

ours:

would

ours:

happen

ours:

next?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I

ours:

think,

ours:

in

ours:

that

ours:

moment,

ours:

I

ours:

realized,

ours:

deep

ours:

down,

ours:

this

ours:

is

ours:

exactly

ours:

where

ours:

I

ours:

wanted

ours:

the

ours:

story

ours:

to

ours:

lead,”

ours:

she

ours:

smiled. “So,

ours:

I

ours:

put

ours:

my

ours:

hand

ours:

on

ours:

her

ours:

shoulder,

ours:

I

ours:

looked

ours:

her

ours:

in

ours:

the

ours:

eyes

ours:

and said, ‘Ich werde nicht gehen.’”

“What does that

ours:

mean?”

“It

ours:

means, ‘I

ours:

won’t

ours:

leave.’”

“And

ours:

how

ours:

did

ours:

she

ours:

react?”

“She…

ours:

glowed,

ours:

so

ours:

brightly.

ours:

I

ours:

couldn’t

ours:

not

ours:

lean

ours:

in

ours:

and kiss her.

ours:

And

ours:

I

ours:

guess

ours:

she

ours:

felt

ours:

the

ours:

same

ours:

way.

ours:

We

ours:

had

ours:

our

ours:

hands

ours:

and

ours:

lips

ours:

all

ours:

over

ours:

each other until we got back to my dorm room. Then we really had our hands and lips all over each

ours:

other.”

“And

ours:

that’s

ours:

when

ours:

you…?”

“Yeah,

ours:

and

ours:

it

ours:

was

ours:

powerful!

ours:

Like

ours:

I-passed-out-from-it

ours:

powerful.”

“Woah…

ours:

that’s…”

ours:

Pat

ours:

didn’t

ours:

bother

ours:

concluding

ours:

his

ours:

sentence.

ours:

The

ours:

hardness

ours:

between

ours:

Perci’s thighs

ours:

already

ours:

spoke

ours:

volumes.

“And

ours:

when

ours:

I

ours:

woke

ours:

up,

ours:

I

ours:

was

ours:

in

ours:

her

ours:

arms.

ours:

And

ours:

I

ours:

had

ours:

the

ours:

pleasure

ours:

of

ours:

waking

ours:

up

ours:

like

ours:

that

ours:

pretty

ours:

much

ours:

the

ours:

rest

ours:

of

ours:

the

ours:

following

ours:

semester.

ours:

It

ours:

was

ours:

almost

ours:

perfect.”

“Almost?”

She

ours:

sighed, “I

ours:

couldn’t

ours:

stay

ours:

in

ours:

Germany

ours:

forever.

ours:

My

ours:

student

ours:

visa

ours:

was

ours:

up

ours:

and

ours:

I

ours:

still

ours:

had

ours:

my

ours:

life

ours:

in

ours:

the

ours:

US.”

“Oh

ours:

no…”

“We

ours:

said

ours:

goodbye

ours:

at

ours:

the

ours:

airport.

ours:

Both

ours:

of

ours:

us

ours:

were a

ours:

fucking

ours:

mess,”

ours:

she

ours:

bewailed,

ours:

looking

ours:

down

ours:

and

ours:

shaking

ours:

her

ours:

head. “Part

ours:

of

ours:

me

ours:

wanted

ours:

to

ours:

do

ours:

that

ours:

thing

ours:

in

ours:

the

ours:

movies

ours:

where

ours:

you

ours:

get

ours:

off

ours:

right

ours:

before

ours:

take

ours:

off

ours:

and

ours:

run

ours:

into

ours:

her

ours:

arms,

ours:

but…”

ours:

she

ours:

threw

ours:

up

ours:

her

ours:

hands, “life

ours:

doesn’t

ours:

work

ours:

like

ours:

that.

ours:

Instead,

ours:

I

ours:

just…

ours:

fucking

ours:

cried

ours:

the

ours:

whole

ours:

flight

ours:

home.

“We

ours:

kept

ours:

in

ours:

contact

ours:

every

ours:

now

ours:

and

ours:

then,

ours:

sure,

ours:

but

ours:

just

ours:

wasn’t

ours:

the

ours:

same

ours:

as

ours:

having

ours:

her

ours:

there

ours:

with

ours:

me,

ours:

to hug

ours:

and

ours:

kiss

ours:

and

ours:

other

ours:

stuff.

ours:

Eventually,we’ve

ours:

moved

ours:

on.

ours:

I

ours:

found

ours:

Andrew.

ours:

She

ours:

found

ours:

a

ours:

new

ours:

girlfriend,”

ours:

she swiveled round with

ours:

a

ours:

peck

ours:

on

ours:

his

ours:

cheek, “and

ours:

then

ours:

I

ours:

found

ours:

you,

ours:

too.

ours:

All’s

ours:

well

ours:

that

ours:

ends

ours:

well,

ours:

I

ours:

guess.”

“So…

ours:

she

ours:

was

ours:

your…

ours:

you

ours:

know,

ours:

awakening?”

She

ours:

shrugged, “If

ours:

that’s

ours:

you

ours:

wanna put

ours:

it.”

“And

ours:

you

ours:

didn’t

ours:

know

ours:

beforehand?”

“That

ours:

I

ours:

like

ours:

girls?

ours:

I

ours:

mean,

ours:

like

ours:

I

ours:

said,

ours:

I

ours:

never

ours:

really

ours:

gave

ours:

it

ours:

much

ours:

thought.

ours:

If

ours:

I

ours:

had

ours:

to

ours:

think

ours:

about

ours:

it,

ours:

I’d say that

ours:

sexually I

ours:

lean

ours:

a

ours:

bit

ours:

more

ours:

towards

ours:

guys

ours:

while

ours:

I

ours:

lean

ours:

more

ours:

towards

ours:

girls

ours:

in

ours:

the

ours:

romantic

ours:

sense.”

“And

ours:

you

ours:

were

ours:

just…

ours:

okay

ours:

with

ours:

that?”

She

ours:

scrunched

ours:

her

ours:

face, “Pat,

ours:

what

ours:

are

ours:

you

ours:

trying

ours:

to

ours:

get

ours:

at?”

“I’m

ours:

not

ours:

getting

ours:

at

ours:

anything,

ours:

I’m

ours:

just

asking:

asking:

In

asking:

that

asking:

moment,

asking:

when

asking:

you

asking:

realized

asking:

you

asking:

were attracted to another woman, it

asking:

didn’t

asking:

bother

asking:

you?”

“Why

asking:

would

asking:

it

asking:

bother

asking:

me?”

asking:

She

asking:

defended,

asking:

turning to

asking:

face

asking:

her

asking:

alleged

asking:

lover.

“I’m

asking:

just

asking:

saying,

asking:

it’s

asking:

not

asking:

easy

asking:

being

asking:

LGBT,”

asking:

he

asking:

argued. “I

asking:

grew

asking:

up

asking:

watching

asking:

religious

asking:

protestors

asking:

waving

asking:

slurs

asking:

around

asking:

on

asking:

the

asking:

news.”

She

asking:

rolled

asking:

her

asking:

eyes, “So

asking:

did

asking:

I,

asking:

but

asking:

they’re

asking:

fucking

asking:

idio-”

“And

asking:

in

asking:

middle

asking:

school,

asking:

everyone threw

asking:

around

asking:

the

asking:

word ‘gay’

asking:

like

asking:

it

asking:

was

asking:

the

asking:

worst

asking:

thing you

asking:

could

asking:

call

asking:

someone.”

“Again,

asking:

children.

asking:

Idi-”

“Fuck,

asking:

I’ve

asking:

even

asking:

heard

asking:

stories

asking:

about

asking:

bi

asking:

people

asking:

being

asking:

told

asking:

to

asking:

pick

asking:

a

asking:

side

asking:

by

asking:

gay

asking:

people!

asking:

Their

asking:

own

asking:

allies!

asking:

Doesn’t

asking:

that

asking:

bother

asking:

you?”

“Of

asking:

course, it

asking:

bothers

asking:

me!”

asking:

She

asking:

fired

asking:

back, “But

asking:

I

asking:

can

asking:

deal

asking:

with

asking:

them,

asking:

and

asking:

I

asking:

have

asking:

a

asking:

family

asking:

and

asking:

friends

asking:

that

asking:

accept

asking:

me

asking:

regardless!”

“BUT

asking:

WHAT

asking:

IF

asking:

YOU

asking:

DONT?”

asking:

He

asking:

flared

asking:

up, “What

asking:

if

asking:

you’re

asking:

not…

asking:

resilient

asking:

or…

asking:

or…”

asking:

only

asking:

to

asking:

die

asking:

back

asking:

down

asking:

to

asking:

cinders,

asking:

gasping

asking:

between

asking:

breaths, “I’m

asking:

sorry…

asking:

I-I

asking:

shouldn’t…

asking:

shouldn’t

asking:

have

asking:

said

asking:

anything…

asking:

I

asking:

just…

asking:

I’m

asking:

sorry.”

He

asking:

looked

asking:

away.

asking:

Covered

asking:

his

asking:

eyes.

asking:

Anything

asking:

to

asking:

isolate

asking:

himself

asking:

from

asking:

his

asking:

folly,

asking:

as

asking:

if

asking:

sleep

asking:

could

asking:

take

asking:

him.

asking:

But

asking:

no,

asking:

not

asking:

with

asking:

lightning in

asking:

his

asking:

head,

asking:

waterfalls

asking:

on

asking:

his

asking:

brow,

asking:

whirlpools

asking:

in

asking:

his

asking:

eyes,

asking:

hurricanes

asking:

in

asking:

his

asking:

lungs…

And

asking:

shelter

asking:

on

asking:

his

asking:

shoulder…

“Hey…

asking:

Pat, It’s

asking:

okay.

asking:

Don’t

asking:

forget

asking:

to

asking:

breathe.”

And

asking:

so

asking:

he

asking:

did.

asking:

The

asking:

stagnant

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