In this episode, we explore the biological reason why willpower so often fails in the face of binge eating.

We dive into Polyvagal Theory to understand how your autonomic nervous system hijacks your decision-making to keep you safe, explaining why you can't simply "discipline" your way out of a survival response.

You'll discover why your body is actually trying to protect you when it demands food, and how to create true safety without relying on the pantry.

Important Points Covered

1. Why Willpower is No Match for Biology We discuss the uncomfortable truth that binge eating is often a biological safety response, not a character flaw. When your nervous system senses a threat, it shuts down the logical part of your brain (the prefrontal cortex), making it physically impossible to access your "willpower" or long-term goals during a stress response.
2. The Three States of Your Nervous System We break down the "traffic light" system of your body: the Green State (safe and social), the Red State (fight or flight), and the Blue State (freeze or shutdown). You'll learn how to identify which state you are in based on whether you are craving crunchy, aggressive foods (Red State) or soft, comforting foods (Blue State).
3. Reframing the Binge as a Safety Solution Here is the part most people don't want to hear: your bingeing is actually a functional solution your body found to regulate your nervous system. We explain how the physical act of eating massages the Vagus nerve, providing immediate chemical relief from anxiety or numbness, which is why it feels so addictive.
4. The Danger of Restriction We look at why the standard advice to "go on a diet" inevitably backfires for emotional eaters. To your primitive brain, restriction looks like starvation, which acts as a massive danger signal. This pushes you right back into the "Red State," creating a vicious cycle where trying to be "good" actually triggers the next binge.
5. Practical Tools for Somatic Safety We move beyond theory into action with "Somatic Resourcing"—using your body to change your state instead of food. You'll learn specific physical movements to discharge anxious energy (like shaking or pushing) and gentle techniques to wake up from a shutdown (like humming or weighted blankets).

Your body has never been your enemy; it has been your protector, working overtime to help you survive stress.

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear which "state" you find yourself in most often—Red or Blue? Reply to this week's newsletter. I'll see you Thursday for our Q&A, where we'll dive deeper into how to navigate these nervous system storms in real-time.

Key Takeaway Binge eating is not a sign that you are broken or weak; it is a sign that your nervous system is desperately trying to regulate itself to keep you safe.

The Polyvagal Theory of Binge Eating: Why Your Nervous System Makes You Overeat

Part 1: Willpower and biology

I need to share something with you that I wish someone had told me years ago.

You likely know the heavy feeling that settles in after a binge. The shame washes over you, accompanied by a specific loop of thoughts questioning your strength and inability to stop.

I understand that experience deeply. It feels like fighting a losing war against yourself.

The diet industry rarely discusses the biological reality of this experience.

Binge eating functions as a biological safety response. While we often attribute these episodes to a lack of discipline or willpower, the behavior actually stems from your body’s ancient survival mechanisms. You are trying to manage millions of years of biology with a modern concept of "willpower," and biology usually wins.

When your body perceives danger, it prioritizes staying alive over any diet plan you have created.

Please hear this clearly: Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do—protect you. You are functioning correctly according to your biology.

Part 2: Your body's hidden operating system

Think of your body as a computer. In the background, an operating system runs everything. You don't see it working, but it controls every program you use.

In your body, this operating system is the Autonomic Nervous System.

This system has one main job: to scan for safety or danger. It does this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, scanning both inside your body and the world around you.

We often attribute overeating to being "emotional" or "greedy." However, the Autonomic Nervous System tells a different, more complex story involving the Vagus Nerve.

This system relies on the Vagus Nerve. Originating in the brainstem, this nerve travels down through your chest to your abdomen, physically connecting your brain to major organs like your heart, lungs, and stomach. It acts as a biological communication cable, constantly transmitting data about your safety and digestion from your body back to your brain.

When this system senses a threat, like high stress, shame, or even strict dieting, it pulls the fire alarm.

Here is the uncomfortable reality:

When that fire alarm activates, your operating system shuts down the "thinking" part of your brain—the prefrontal cortex. This is the area that manages your weight loss goals and logical decision-making.

It goes offline.

During a nervous system storm, your logical thoughts become inaccessible. The part of your brain capable of stopping the eating behavior is currently turned off.

Part 3: The three states of your nervous system

Your nervous system functions in three distinct states rather than a simple on/off switch. Depending on which state is active, your relationship with food changes completely.

1. The green state (safe & social)

This state occurs when you feel calm, connected, and safe.

The vibe: You can make eye contact, relax, and digest your food properly.

The eating pattern: You eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full. Food remains just food. Enjoyable, but without controlling power over you.

2. The red state (fight or flight)

Your body enters this state when it senses immediate danger or stress, filling you with buzzing, anxious energy.

The vibe: Your heart beats faster, you feel restless, and you feel an urge to do something immediately.

The eating pattern: This manifests as frantic eating. You likely crave crunchy or hard foods like chips, nuts, or hard candy.

Why? Your body attempts to release aggressive energy through your jaw. You are seeking relief from anxiety rather than satisfying physical hunger.

3. The blue state (freeze or shutdown)

This state takes over when the stress becomes overwhelming, causing the system to decide it can't fight anymore. It shuts down to conserve energy.

The vibe: You feel numb, heavy, or hopeless. The desire to curl up in bed and hide takes over, often accompanied by thoughts like, "What's the point?"

The eating pattern: This is the "zoning out" binge. You gravitate toward soft, melting, comforting foods like ice cream, pasta, or bread.

Why? Eating large amounts of heavy food pushes your body into a "food coma," which mimics the shutdown state. This makes the numbness feel safer; you are eating to disappear.

Part 4: Bingeing as a physiological solution

This next part challenges how we typically view overeating.

Your nervous system uses binge eating as a solution to regulate itself.

This might sound strange given the pain it causes, but consider the physical act of eating. You chew, swallow, and taste. These specific actions physically massage and stimulate the Vagus Nerve, changing your body chemistry almost instantly.

If you are in the Red State (anxious), eating calms you down.

If you are in the Blue State (numb), eating wakes you up just enough to feel something.

Your body has learned a powerful lesson: "Food fixes the feeling."

The body intends to regulate you and bring you back to safety. This explains why the behavior feels like an addiction. You are seeking the relief that the food brings.

For a few minutes, the food works. It quiets the noise, numbs the pain, and turns off the alarm.

Food has become the primary tool your nervous system currently possesses to help you feel safe.

Part 5: Why restriction increases the danger signal

Usually, when we feel out of control with food, our first instinct is to clamp down. We decide to start a diet or cut out sugar, following what diet culture suggests is the "responsible" choice.

However, this approach often triggers the operating system we discussed earlier.

To your primitive brain, restriction looks like starvation.

Starvation represents the ultimate danger. When you start a strict diet or tell yourself you cannot have certain foods, you send a massive danger signal to your nervous system. You are effectively telling your body that resources are scarce and a famine is coming.

Your nervous system reacts by pushing you into the Red State, creating anxiety and obsession about food.

This creates a common trap:

The Trigger: You feel unsafe or stressed.

The Response: You eat to soothe yourself (using food as a tool).

The Reaction: You feel ashamed and panic, deciding to restrict your food tomorrow.

The Backfire: The restriction scares your nervous system further, confirming the fear of starvation.

The Binge: Your body forces you to eat high-energy foods to survive the perceived famine.

Diets often fail because a safety problem requires a safety signal, not the danger signal of restriction. Every time you restrict, you add fuel to the anxiety.

Part 6: Creating safety signals

Since restriction often backfires, we need a different approach. We need to teach your nervous system a new language by replacing food with a new safety signal.

Here are three steps you can try the next time you feel the urge to binge.

Step 1: Name your state

Before you eat, pause for one second. You can continue eating if needed, but first ask yourself: "Where am I right now?"

Am I in the Red State? (Do I feel anxious, buzzy, and want to crunch something?)

Am I in the Blue State? (Do I feel numb, tired, and want to zone out?)

Identifying the state helps your brain come back online, moving you from "autopilot" to "awareness."

Step 2: Use your body (the "pattern interrupt")

Since you cannot think your way out of a feeling, you must move your way out of it.

If you are in the Red State (Anxious), you have excess energy trapped in your body that needs release.

Shake your hands vigorously for 30 seconds.

Push your hands hard against a wall.

Crunch on ice cubes to get the sensation without the metabolic load.

If you are in the Blue State (Numb), your system has shut down and needs gentle waking.

Wrap yourself in a heavy blanket for pressure.

Splash cold water on your face.

Hum a low tune to physically vibrate the vagus nerve.

Step 3: The magic phrase

Treat yourself with gentleness, as shame only keeps you trapped in the danger zone.

Say this to yourself:

"I am safe. This is just my nervous system trying to protect me. I don't need to be afraid of this feeling."

Part 7: Partnering with your biology

Take a deep breath.

You may have spent years fighting your body and treating your appetite as an enemy. In reality, your body has remained on your side, trying to help you survive in the only way it knew how.

Now you have the knowledge to listen to the signals rather than fight them.

This takes practice. You will likely face challenges as you learn this new skill, and that is part of the process.

We aim to build enough safety in your body that food becomes unnecessary for survival. Emotional eating might still happen, but you will have other options.

You are regulating. And that means you are healing.

Keep winning!