Episode 1: Bible School Graduate Turned Playboy Enthusiast

Welcome to the very first podcast of Breaking Free Authentically. I’m so excited to finally be sharing with you all these things going on in my head.

I thought it would be good to start at the beginning of this whole journey for me as the past ten years have been so life-changing. I want you to understand why the title Breaking Free Authentically is so important to me.

I always like to say that I’m a Bible School Graduate, Turned Playboy Enthusiast

Intro: Let’s start at the beginning

Childhood upbringing
Sexual child/ masturbation
Sexual shame at an early age
Church pianist by 13
Submission beautiful word
All my friends were guys growing up
Band, choir, musician, social group
Marriage was my biggest goal
Relationship books and psychology were my fun reading
Couldn’t wait to get married and finally have sex and be a good wife
Wanted a better relationship than my parents
Wanted to be a Stay at home mom
Chose Musician over being a Surgeon

The Bliss

Loved my life in the church
Was very involved
Went to Bible School for Church music
Knew I would never be paid because I was a woman
Was an accompanist for all the voice studios
Was in the Moody Symphonic Band (traveled to China)
Married a “Good” Christian man
The day a piece of me died
Became a mom
Taught moms groups and Bible studies
Never questioned my faith
Thought I was better than others

The Shock

My husband shared his deconversion
I had no idea this was coming
My biggest fear was, "What we would teach our daughters about sex now?"

The Devastation

Didn’t know where to turn
3 legged table
Questioned everything I believed
Started researching
The worst of the worst - those SEX people
Had no morals
Couldn’t love without Christ
No joy
No self-respect
Had no hope…
Playboy Radio
Found my people
Loving
Honest
Authentic
Honoured themselves
Intelligent
Deep
Happy
Full of joy
Had deep connections with each other
Discovered Swing with Holli and Michael
Relationship Goals

The Transformation

Started learning about sex positivity
If everything I had been taught about sexuality was not right what else wasn’t
Podcasts, Playboy TV, porn
Critical Thinking

The Freedom to be Authentic

I started to see I was no different than anybody else and no better
Accabella’s story
Started feeling safe enough to share things I’d never felt I could share before
Started to fantasize
Started to embrace my sexuality and pleasure in a new way
Shed the guilt and shame
Started to feel Empowered
Discovered my worth in a new way
Transformed my thinking and beliefs
Shifted my perspective
Became Authentic
Learned to set boundaries without needing to hurt others
Started honouring myself in a whole new way
Realized how strong I actually was
Decided to explore more things but that is for another day

The Passion to Help Others

I want to help others break free from the programming
No need to give a big F U to the world or to men
We can have balance and still be kind and free and authentic
Relationships are beautiful and I have always wanted to share how to have strong healthy relationships
Now I know how without losing who I am
I get to love to the fullest and honour who I am
Found my tribe/ me people
Want to spread awareness and empower people to live their fullest, richest life

Breaking Free Authentically: The Sex Positive Relationship Podcast website

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