If you listened to Part 1, you know I left you on a cliffhanger. Here's where it picks up - and I promise you, nothing could have prepared me for this chapter.

After everything - the miscarriages, the rare ectopic pregnancy, the uterus damage, three rounds of IVF - surrogacy became our path forward. We chose Ukraine. My dad's side of the family is Ukrainian, and international surrogacy there meant our surrogate would actually be compensated well for the incredible gift she was giving us. We found Marina, and the second she told me she'd hold our baby "like a glass ball," I knew she was the one.

Marina got pregnant with our twins in 2021. And then, in early 2022, the war started. Our surrogate and babies were in Ukraine, and we made the decision to fly toward the war, not away from it.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Marina, and why we knew instantly she was our person
• Getting married in five days to make the Ukraine surrogacy process work
• Racing to get embryos and sperm across borders before COVID shutdowns hit
• Watching the news and realizing the country carrying our babies was about to be at war
• Flying into Warsaw, taking a bus across the border, and the moment armed guards pulled us off it
• Air raid sirens, a hospital bomb shelter, and meeting Marina in person for the first time
• Babies born at 36 weeks, days after the invasion began
• Getting Maverick and Savannah - and Marina - out of an active war zone
• What it actually took to get our family home

This is the story I've never told publicly, and honestly, some of it still doesn't feel real to me even now. But it's also the reason this podcast exists - because if I can find a way through all of this, I want every one of you to know there's a way through your version of it too.

We're just getting started. This show is going to be full of real stories, real experts, and a whole community that gets it - because nobody should go through this feeling alone.

Subscribe or follow wherever you're listening so you don't miss what's coming next - new episodes, expert guests, and stories from the Fertility Fight Club community.

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Helpful Timestamps

• 00:00 Twins via Surrogacy
• 04:56 Choosing Ukraine
• 07:13 COVID Wedding Rush
• 10:49 Transfer And Twins
• 15:08 War Fears Escalate
• 23:05 Refugees in Warsaw
• 26:11 Crossing the Border to Ukraine by Bus
• 29:48 Meeting Marina at Hospital
• 33:36 Bunker Birth Day Chaos
• 37:27 NICU Bomb Threats and Car Seats
• 39:23 Escape Plan and Passports
• 42:37 Project Dynamo Rescue
• 45:56 Podcast Mission and Series

Welcome back to the Fertility Fight Club Podcast.

I am your sit-in host, Kristen Harper, and I'm here with the actual host and, fertility advocate, fertility coach, fertility guru, Crystal Leochko.

Thank you so much for joining me here on your podcast.

Thank you for actually doing this big thing 'cause I couldn't do it without you.

So in the first part of the podcast, you know, we are talking about Crystal's actual story.

So for those who are just chiming in now, this is a series of people who are going to be sharing their stories of fertility, fertility struggles, successes, losses, and everything in between.

But, you know, today what we wanted to do was really tap into Crystal's story, who's the founder of this all, because her story is, you know, u- unique like everybody else's.

Mm-hmm.

But, has literally touched upon, every avenue possible, I think, that people have gone through when it comes to fertility struggles.

To summarize what we talked about before, multiple rounds of, attempted pregnancy, both naturally, then turned into some surgical procedures due to complications of an ectopic pregnancy, turned into an ovarian- Ectopic

ectopic pregnancy.

Um- IUI's,

IVF … IUI's, IVF's Thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars spent on, trying to conceive.

Yeah.

Unfortunately for Crystal and for her husband, Francois, the door got pretty slammed shut on most of the avenues.

COVID hit.

Yes.

And adoption became out, uh.

So that now- Yeah

they were into the world of surrogacy.

Now, Crystal, we see lots of people are doing surrogacy in Hollywood.

Yes.

It seems-

Yes,

they are … you know, like a, it seems like a pretty common thing to do out that way.

Yeah.

I mean, how common, first of all, is it here in, in Canada for people to get surrogacy?

Surrogacy in Canada is quite common.

The issue is, in Canada, we don't pay for our surrogate, nor do we pay for s- sperm donor or an egg donor in Canada.

So the issue becomes the amount of women that are willing to do such a generous, gracious gift for somebody else.

Yeah.

So that's a big thing.

so there's limited number.

Like, there's thousands and thousands of parent, people that wanna become parents and need a surrogate, for various reasons.

But there's a handful of people that wanna be surrogates.

So if you know anybody, public service announcement, if you know anybody that would be interested or if you yourself are interested in becoming a surrogate, it's the biggest gift you could ever give to somebody, and it's just a beautiful gift and we need more surrogates.

there's some good agencies and some bad agencies to work with, so I will say that, that if you are thinking about it, please reach out to me because, I'd be happy to connect you with the right agency and the right people.

Because if you're gonna give that gift, I wanna make sure it's a good experience for that woman that's giving such a gift, but yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

yeah, so, you know, here, here in Canada, like you said, it's, it's a bit more of a- A challenge … of a challenge.

In the US.

Finding somebody-

Yeah

… Kristen: is a bit of a challenge.

Yeah.

And so for you guys, I've said this before- … it was, like, a total battle.

Yep, battle.

War, a war battle- … to become a mom.

Yeah.

Um, I, I was here for this part big time.

Oh, yeah.

And so, I love that we can have this chat and we can go down memory alley because it was, like, 2020.

2020. Everything, you know, the world stood still.

It was September.

I will tell you The US elections were ramping up with their debates and things like that Yeah And, no, maybe October, sorry.

And the debates were going.

And I, like I said, I think I mentioned I seen like a ad or not even an ad, an Instagram post for international surrogacy.

And I thought, "Hmm, what's that about?" 'Cause it just seemed so crazy when we've been in lockdown for a year.

Yeah.

And I'm like, "Could that work? Could that be a thing?"

Yeah.

And I knew all o- like US, Can- US, Europe and stuff, you can pay for a surrogate.

Canada's one of the only places that you can't, so it's kinda frustrating, because there's the waiting and stuff.

International surrogacy is pretty interesting, because now you're kind of trusting an overseas process.

And so ultimately, Crystal, this was the choice that you both decided was the right- Yeah

one for you.

after not being successful with finding somebody here, that became a journey.

An option.

So, okay, so where did you go?

What did you do?

Well- Let's talk

… Crystal: it started from this.

So my husband and I have been together for, like, a long time, and we never got married because most of our money for, like, eight years at that point, n- longer probably, that was about, probably about 12 years at that point, um, was going to fertility.

So we just kept saying, "Oh, we'll get married later. We'll get married later," whatever.

so we chose to go to Ukraine, which my background, my father is Ukrainian.

So it wasn't… It was interesting.

I've never been to Ukraine or anything.

but it didn't seem that scary for whatever reason.

Now, this is 2020.

There was no war at this time, okay?

So I'll just start with that.

It seemed pretty safe at that point.

yeah, so Ukraine is the place of choice, and we met with the agency, and the reason we fell in love with it is they do pay their surrogates, and they pay them well.

So what, what we paid our surrogate would be, like, a really, really good Canadian salary, for about six or seven years.

So they're financially set, for a good time, and we felt good about that.

And we talked to a couple different surrogates that we met, and the first one I fell in love with, because she had delivered twins the year before, and she bought a fruit farm with that, and I'm all about fruit and food and organic, and she was doing broccoli and fruit.

And I just, I really liked her, and she was a traditional, like, workhorse, and she's very muscular.

Mm. She went in for her, her lining check, and her BMI was over .5, and they cut her, and they're like, "We're not using her. Her BMI's…" They're very strict, 'cause they want it to be successful.

And the surrogate wants it be- to be successful because they're getting paid.

Yeah.

So they cut her, and I was devastated.

And I'm like, "Ugh." So we met with a couple other ones, and we met our surrogate, Marina.

And Marina said… Ah.

I'm gonna get misty again.

Marina said, "I will hold the baby like a glass ball. Like, I won't let anything happen to it."

Mm.

And that, um, mm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That really

struck- That's, I'm like, "Okay, she's the girl."

Yeah.

So, yeah.

We thought, "Okay." but we, I'll just back up a little bit.

When we chose Ukraine, the reason I brought up that we weren't married is 'cause you have to be legally married in Ukraine, and we weren't, and it was COVID.

So we went over to my parents' house and we said, "We're getting married next weekend here at Niagara Falls at this little chapel."

And we literally… I remember going to buying an off-the-rack dress at David's Bridal, 'cause I wanted a dress off the rack.

It was, like, crazy.

It was like, I don't even know if it fit properly at this point, and it was so crazy.

We got married in, like, literally five days, and we sent the papers in and had to rush, during COVID, so it was really fun, too.

So we had no guests.

We had maybe a couple people, and my mom, my dad, and my brother, and a photographer, and one of my friends showed up, and that's it.

Because we couldn't tell anybody 'cause- Yeah … they were saying careful 'cause if it, well, we could get shut down if they change the mandate to five people, and the next day it was six people, right?

So we were like, "Okay." We got that.

We had to get then organize all the paperwork, the financial stuff of that, and then it's now middle of November and Doug Ford kept talking about, shutting the borders down Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

I can't remember.

It was the 24th, 25th, right?

And they, the agency kept telling us, "If they shut the borders down, we won't be able to ship all your, like, DNA stuff and embryos and stuff across, and we need an actual person that his job is to bring embryos and sperm and eggs and stuff-" over to wherever they're flying to.

And that's their whole job.

So I'm like, if you guys are looking for a cool job, I think that's pretty cool.

Anyways, it was COVID, so we needed to get customs clearance for all the materials, the DNA and stuff, all the embryos, and we needed it to clear, not get held in Germany when the air- the plane stopped, and then get to Ukraine and not s- get scanned.

So that's why we needed an actual guy to carry it, 'cause it can't go through the scanners.

Right.

And you have, I think, 12 hours in that canister, so if the plane was delayed, we'd be screwed.

And then now it's December 22nd, and we did not have clearance yet, and the borders are getting shut down, so nobody was able to fly.

Yeah.

And now if this guy got COVID at the airport, you know, when they were checking-

Yeah

… Crystal: and- Again, your hoops … no matter what your feelings are on COVID, they could, any sneeze, anything in the air could have been picked up on that swab and not actually him at that time, right?

And then we're screwed.

So it was so stressful.

So the 23rd hits, and she called us probably, I think, at, like, late in the day, and they said, "We got clearance. There's a flight leaving Pearson at 1:00. We need to get it from the fertility clinic over quickly, and we're a go." So literally anything, he gets COVID, any traffic, the flight delayed, we're screwed, 'cause now it's, like, the 23rd.

Yeah.

Flight's leaving the 24th, and the borders are closed down.

So here's go time.

We did it.

It's go time.

That was the most stressful Christmas Eve I've ever, ever had, ever, ever, ever.

It was so crazy.

but it made it.

The clinic messaged us and said, "We have everything. Everything's, like, in their, freezers and stuff," and everything was good.

So that probably, I think, was more stressful than anything in my life

at that point.

At that point.

At that point.

At that point.

So that is now, 2021 now taking place.

Yeah.

And it took a few months, and now we're, now I think about, like, May maybe, and we're setting up, like, the surrogate.

So that's when I had met the first surrogate.

We had to wait and time her cycle.

She had to pass medical clearance.

And you were meeting her over Zoom.

On Zoom.

Yeah.

Yeah, with translators.

Yeah.

And then we, she got bumped off, so then we, it took another couple months for our new surrogate, who, Marina, who we ended up having.

So I think it was, like, July or August or whatever, and, or it must have been earlier, and then we did the transfer.

oh my gosh, I don't think I, didn't think I would be so emotional.

But we did the transfer, and I remember it was a Saturday and I had a call with a client.

I used to do a lot of calls, like, at all scattered hours just to fit everybody in, all my clients.

And we knew that her beta test was gonna come back that day, her HCG, which would show if it was a positive pregnancy.

Yeah.

And I should preface, we did implant two embryos at this time.

And I was waiting for the call, and they said they would call us about 1:00.

So it's 9:00 in the morning, and I could see the agency calling, but the girl I was on the line with, she was, like, kind of emotional.

So it's not like I could just say, "Oh, I gotta take this call," but I was dying.

So I literally, like, hung up and ran downstairs and was shaking 'cause I was so worried, and I wanted my husband to take it 'cause I, I didn't want bad news.

And, um-

Mm-hmm

… Crystal: it was good news.

And and the betas was so high they said both embryos must have stuck because the beta was, I think, like, 5,000 on, like, day 12.

So if you guys have not gone through fertility treatments, you know day 12 it's, it's, like, a much lower beta.

So we, we were pretty sure both embryos stuck.

And that afternoon it was your daughter's birthday.

Yeah.

I don't know if you remember that.

I do.

And, uh, we went to Freya's birthday, and I'm like, "Don't say anything 'cause it's too early," right?

Yeah.

And we got there, and the first thing my husband does is, like, Kristen came over and she has a backyard full of people and balloons and there are bouncy castles- … and all the things.

And we're standing there and, like, I'm, like, trying to hold it together, and first thing my husband blurts out, "We have twins," to her.

And I'm like, "You can't tell her yet." But yeah, so S- Kristen definitely has been there from the beginning, and she's the first person we told before anybody.

So that's why it means a little bit more even that she's doing this for me today, and I didn't realize I would be crying so much.

No.

But it was a very emotional, and then it was good.

so it was now, September, and, what?

17th?

It was the 21.

9th?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Something like that.

It went on and there was a little bit, like they were worried about twins.

They really advised us not to implant two embryos.

And that's a question I get asked a lot for like many girls, like, "Can I implant two?"

And there's a lot of risks with twins.

There's a lot of benefits.

There's a lot of misconceptions and things that I won't go into this podcast because this is not gonna be a one-time deal like Kristen was saying.

We're gonna be interviewing other fertility sisters, and we're gonna be talking to experts and different things.

And I'll go into more of that later.

and as most of you know, I do share a lot of my personal stories when any of you guys ask questions, so I am quite transparent that way.

so December went and she needed a surgery, because her cervix was open too much.

Yeah.

And this was December, and we were, like, panicking.

And of course, they're

like- And she had had her own kids too, right?

She

had her own two.

So this

wasn't her first pregnancy.

No, she had two.

Yeah.

And so her cervix was too opened and they were, it was, like, way too early.

I think they were gonna be born, like, April 18th or 16th was the date.

Yeah.

And so we, they're like, "Okay, but we need the money right now," and I think it was, like, $10,000 US or something.

Yeah.

So we're trying to, like, wire the money and stuff.

And they're like, "If you miss this deadline, she's not doing that." And we're like, "Oh, my God." And it was, like, impossible to wire money, and we couldn't use Visa or whatever.

I forget w- what happened or why we had to do that e- not e-transfer, the wire.

Anyways, she did the surgery and it was, it was successful.

and then she was on a lot of bed rest.

And then January, middle of January, there started to be rumblings about the war and Putin.

I will never, I will never forget it.

I remember, you know, during that time.

Yeah.

And I was working in a political-

Yeah

you know, position and watching the news and, and understanding what was going on.

You know, we all started to get s- A little bit- … the spider chills up our back and, Yeah … yeah, it was like, wait a minute, war in Ukraine.

Is,

yeah.

And-

And l-

We, we were like, "What, well, what do we do?" What

do… Yeah.

"What is gonna happen?" Yeah.

And Crystal, you were so positive through that.

You're like, "Oh, no, we're, it'll be fine. It'll be fine."

I know.

" Kristen: Everything's fine."

I remember that, and I do, I do share that with a lot of the girls because all my pregnancies, I was so, like, on edge.

And for some reason, right from the beginning when we picked Mirina to when we said we fought them to put two embryos, I was always like, "It's gonna work."

I just kept thinking, "It's fine. It's fine." And I, I was positive.

That was not an option.

But I'm like, it was not an option.

I'm like, I didn't come this far to come this far.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm like, "No, it's, it's gonna be okay." When I would ask the surrogate, She would say, "It's fine.

Putin always threatens us.

Don't worry." And I'm like, "Uh." there was a girl that also had a surrogate.

she's in Vancouver, and she's become a really close friend, and she, her surrogate was due, I think, three weeks after ours.

So we became really close, and we were talking, and we were freaking out together-

Yeah

… Crystal: I guess.

And, then the news came on that girl's birthday, Carrie, he had thrown bombs into-

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

However, two days before, three days before, we had moved her closer to the border in Lviv So, oh my gosh, this is crazy

Yeah, the war- Sorry, guys … it was really, it was really ramping up- Yeah … and you had the intuition-

We kept fighting the- … to move her … surrogates didn't wanna move.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They, they kept saying, like, "It's fine, it's fine," and, and we moved them, and he did bomb.

as we all know, the war's still going on, so there's that.

So then I think it was what?

Days after.

I remember you did my beautiful baby shower, and the war had just, it was, like, that week.

And then a few, maybe a week after that- Yeah,

we ramped up.

we- … ramped everything up, and we were like, "Okay, it's go time." Like, these babies were coming.

We didn't know what was gonna happen.

Yeah.

But Crystal was like, "I'm going-

Yeah

… Kristen: to figure this out." Yeah.

We had the baby shower.

Yeah, she went, she went into early labor too.

And then there was, uh, well, that, the shower came.

Yeah.

Shower.

And then all of a sudden it was within days, you called me- Yeah … and you were like, "I gotta go." I have no idea.

She's in labor.

It was the end of, what was it?

End of March.

No, no.

Beginning of March.

Beginning of March.

It was, we flew out March 9th.

Yep.

So I think it was March 7th.

And I had nothing.

Like, I bought nothing.

Yeah.

I, at first- We,

we had nothing

… Crystal: all the pregnancies- We had nothing … I had always buying.

Yeah.

You remember I kept buying, like, onesies, and I kept miscarrying and losing the baby, so I didn't buy a thing.

Like, I didn't have a crib, nothing.

There was nothing-

Like nothing … in this

household.

Nothing ready.

No.

Nothing at all.

So literally we had to get on a plane.

So I was booking, like, the flights.

We didn't know where to land because the airports were all bombed, so we had to fly into Warsaw.

in the meantime, I had sent my mom and Kristen to go to get stuff, and we didn't know… Like, we were shopping Kevlar vests.

We were shopping, like, gas masks for if he hit, like, a nuclear plant.

And then diapers and formula 'cause we didn't know what, what we were gonna walk into.

And during that time, I mean, being- … being there and watching, and the stress that you were enduring not knowing what you were going into.

Yeah.

I remember just watching you pack your bag, and your mom and I were like, "We, we got this."

And we ran out to the Buy Buy Baby at the time.

And we were just like, " Okay, these babies are gonna be small.

We need everything preemie." Remember we're, like, on the outskirts of COVID where, like, nothing was shipped in.

Nope.

So we're like, we know we've got a boy.

We know we've got a girl.

Yeah.

We're, you know, just piling everything-

we can get going.

and then we, we came back and, and, and packed.

We packed that night.

Packed

that

night.

And we left, like, at th- That next morning, I guess.

Yeah.

And I remember you guys bought me so much stuff, and I was… I couldn't… The reason I didn't go get it is 'cause we were dealing with the Canadian Embassy, and that was telling us, "You can't go across the border.

We don't recommend you going into- to Ukraine right now." But we needed to get, like, the paperwork so they would be, like, Canadian citizens as soon as possible so we could get them out, and their passports and all that stuff.

So we were doing, dealing with the embassy and things like that, and finding, like, the diplomats, like Ross, the diplomat who's amazing.

But we were trying to organize that.

So these guys come back, and it's like 8:00 at night, and they have all this stuff, and we have, like, four big suitcases.

And I remember you were packing the bag for me, and I'm like, "I don't know what this is.

I can get people pregnant.

I don't know what this baby thing is," or this, like, "What do you do with this?"

Or I'm like, "I had nothing. I know nothing."

And I was already a mom.

So I was like, "Okay.

We know.

We know what

to do." I, I, I didn't even know how to put a diaper on at that point, because it was so long from my babysitting days.

so it was just very crazy.

We did a, we did a life hack.

We did a quick life hack.

Yeah,

yeah.

We had the, we had the diapers, we had the onesies.

Everything.

We had the soothers, we had the bottles.

All

the weird things.

We

had-

There's so many weird things.

it was fun.

We get to Germany.

The plane stopped in Germany, and I check my messages, and they suppressed her labor, so we're like, we could breathe.

'Cause we did, we didn't want them to be born super early.

I think she would've been at 32 weeks at that time, or 33 weeks, I think-

Yeah … at that time.

Yeah, it was early.

And the longer they're in, we thought, uh, the better, but we needed her safe and stuff.

And she was at the hospital at that time.

She was at the ho- she's at, now admitted in the hospital on bed rest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

One of the great doctors I work with here, he said incline her, so we put her on a, like, her head's here on an incline to take the pressure off the cervix.

So she was inclined for a lot of hours a day.

So she's on an incline.

She's on an… Yeah, yeah.

And the doctors were, like, really great.

Like, whatever I'd suggest, and because at that point now, I'm working with some really great fertility doctors in Canada and US, and they're saying, "Do this, do this," 'cause a lot…

Not a lot, sorry, but a few of them, and one of the great doctors I work with, he still delivers babies.

Or he calls it catching babies.

He still catches babies daily.

so he said put her on an incline, and it's something, they use it in Europe.

He kind of gets, like, whatever here doing it, but it works, and it helped.

So yeah.

So it got you to the point where you- We were in

Poland

at this point … were in Poland in a hotel room-

Yeah

… Kristen: covered i- And the, I remember you calling me and telling me how it was just the, everything was just full of-

Refugees

… Kristen: refugees.

Yeah.

And families.

Yeah.

And the emotions that you were enduring-

Yeah

being there, which was supposed to be this lighthearted, beautiful experience, and the love that you and Marina had had for each other, because you really did.

Like, the bond, um- Yeah … this woman had and, and how excited she was to, to fulfill her dream of being a surrogate and helping your family was-

Is, is

was, uh, magical.

But now you're here, and this is kind of being torn at you.

Yeah.

It's like you're- Yeah … in an area just full of people who are suffering.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was so… Yeah, I remember that day 'cause I, I think we c- we didn't bring the adapters for Europe for the phone chargers or to charge anything, and we went, we asked where the mall was.

We were in Warsaw, and, So we walked over to the mall, and I'm like, "Oh my God, it's so busy here. Like, they apparently don't have COVID here." And started looking around, and it was all, like, moms and kids, and they were all like… You could see one bag, and they were all sitting around on the ground.

And then I, I remember, like, just circling and then going, "Oh my God, they're all refugees.

They're all, like, left Ukraine." And I start, like, crying.

And then I look over, and my husband's eyes are watering.

And he'd kill me right now if he knew I was saying this.

But it was so horrible.

And I think that's the first time I realized, like, "Oh, shit, we're gonna go into that war. Like, w- we have to go get our babies, and they're there."

And for a lot of time, like, I felt almost like, "It's gonna be okay, so don't worry." And I think that was the first time it really hit me, like, okay.

So we spent about two weeks in Warsaw trying to figure out, and we were talking to other couples that had their surrogates, on how to get into the country.

Yeah.

Because that was another thing, 'cause there's no flights or things like that at that time, and what's the safest way.

And the Canadian government was telling us definitely don't go in, and there's a lot of… Everybody has their own choice, right?

But we would meet couples from all over, from Australia to England to Americans and Canadians, and some people were waiting till their babies were born, to get their documents before they would go in, or some would wait and, like, let the surrogate bring the baby to the, the border and stuff like that.

for me, I, 'cause I feel like I got robbed from so much on this journey, and so did the other intended parents, I wanted to be there.

And Marina was really getting anxious because she wasn't with her family.

She didn't tell us this until after.

She lost contact with her family for weeks, and she didn't know if they were safe, alive.

The building that they were in was hit.

She didn't know, and she was living with this while having a fake face on, video calls with us.

So we didn't know that.

Heartbreaking.

That is- She told me after.

Yeah.

So yeah, that was, it was, we figured that out.

We, before they were born, like a week while we were in Warsaw, I did all, like, the Canadian, citizenship papers because we knew there was a system, like they would get their citi- citizenship and then passports, and then we didn't know how to get them back.

So yourself and my mom and everybody were trying to figure out how to get us back out and how to get the babies out.

They weren't even born yet.

Yeah, I

know.

So they- So we had their papers.

We knew their names ahead of time because it's not like I had a choice to, like, change at the last minute, so I had to go with what I had.

And, I think I, they were named, like, the day that I got that paid at regardless.

And so we ended up going on a bus, and a bus, I think it was about eight or nine hours it should've been, and it took us about 15 hours because the roads, some were closed into, in Poland, and it was dark at night.

And the bus was filled with refugees.

There was another couple on the bus with us from Canada that we met, and we went toge- we decided to go in that night together.

And when the bus stopped at the border in Ukraine, they take all your passports.

So they come on the bus with the guns.

It was women, because the men were fighting at p- at that point if they were border guards.

And they take your passports, and you're always like, "Never give your passport."

Yeah.

And in the middle of all this, a few days before, I ended up getting, I think it was COVID, I don't really know, but I got really sick, and I'm not one, knock on wood, I don't really get sick very often, and I was, like, so sick.

So I felt so, like, off, and they took our passports, and we waited, and then they were like, hours later they come, or maybe an hour later, they came on the bus and said, "Canada, US," and they're screaming, "Off the bus." And then we had to try to explain to people that don't speak English, like, baby, surrogacy, this is what we're doing, why we're going.

And the US guy was going there to, to help fight from the US.

That's what he was doing.

So finally they understood what we were saying.

They let us go, and we went, we went to the hotel.

We got one of the last… Remember we had the media hotel?

Yeah.

And this is through somebody from the news that, we got the hotel, like, and it was beautiful, and a lot of, like, most of the media stayed at that hotel.

So we were so blessed to actually have a place to stay, in a safe place.

yeah.

Yeah, the, I remember you being in the hotel, and now, like, we're inching closer to, you know, where you need to be.

The hospital is really close to the hotel anyway.

Yeah,

about a 15-minute ride.

Yeah.

Yeah, so you were kind of in a good place at this time.

And so, and I remember the phone calls so vividly of talking to you, and then the air raid sirens- … going off at the back, and she's like, "Oh, Kris, like, I gotta go, you know, we gotta go down and into the bunker."

And me thinking, like, we're- … I'm watching the news, right?

I'm seeing everything happening on the television.

My best friend is there.

The babies are, you know, nearly here.

Yeah.

Poor Marina and, you know- … the situation she's in, 'cause she's in bed rest, and we're thinking-

It was

crazy … I, and then she's like, "Yeah, yeah, no, we just gotta go down."

I'm like, "Yeah, like, what does it look like?" And she's like, "Oh, it's fine, Kristen." It's

just a cement

wall.

" Crystal: It's

really, it's really not that bad." And I remember you even saying, like, people are just walking around.

Like, sometimes people are window shopping here and doing-

In the stores, not in the bunkers, but

yeah.

Yeah, not in the bunkers.

Yeah.

But around the, you know-

Yeah

… Kristen: they go down when, when they need to, and-

They did, yeah.

They do,

and they too- So we're watching the news thinking we're watching what we're watching, and she's describing something different, but there's, there's this middle ground.

Yeah.

And the, the Ukrainians really, the ones that you talk to, they really- didn't want Putin to win.

So the ladies would all be, like, their nails would be done, their hair would be done, their makeup would be done, and you would see them in the nail salons and stuff.

And they, they, they, like the European way, they always took very nice care of themselves, and they continued.

And the men, like at 6:00 in the morning, they would be still having coffee because they're like, "Putin's not winning.

He's not disrupting that." So we thought that was a very interesting… the first time, like, after we got into Ukraine, when we… I wanted to go see Marina, and, you know, I guess, like, sometimes you're like, "Is it real?" Like, "Is she really pregnant?" You know?

'Cause, like, I remember her belly not being, like, that big, right?

And you, your belly goes really big.

'Cause you're short.

Yes.

Sorry.

My belly gets really big.

Yeah, yeah.

Those pregnancies.

So I… They would always… We'd have lots of pictures, and I'm like, "Is she really pregnant? Is there really two?" So we went to see her the first day, and she comes down, and we were in this, like, little room, like smaller, closer than this, at the hospital.

And they told us, "if you go, you can't go into the bomb shelter at the hospital," they told us.

And we're like, "Okay.

What happens?" And they're like, "Well, the air raid hasn't gone on for a week, so it should be okay."

So I'm like,

" Okay."

And so we went, and we finally meet her, and she's tall.

She's like, I think, 5'11" or something.

So I'm like, "Oh, that's why she carries and it doesn't look like…" You know.

I'm like, "Okay." And literally hugged.

We get all emotional, and she grabs my hands and sits down.

And, like, in three seconds we realized, "Ah, we can't communicate," 'cause she doesn't speak English.

We were doing Viber Translate at that time.

Now all the, I guess, the texting services can, but… So we went, sat down, and she held my hands.

And, um, we realized we had to t- text to talk to each other.

So we're standing there, and maybe three minutes, maybe not even that long, the air raid… And that was my first air raid siren I've ever heard.

And it was like the old… Like, if you watch an old movie, war movie, that's exactly what it sounds like.

They haven't updated that sound, I don't… ever.

Mm-hmm.

And we panicked, and I looked at Francois, and we both panicked.

And we thought, "Where do we go?" Because they told us we couldn't be in the hospital.

And Marina's like, "Come."

And she yelled at the nurse or whatever, and the nurses, and she pushed us through to the shelter.

And that day was the first day… Oh, what's the president?

Biden was there.

First day Biden went to the Ger- the Polish border, and Putin was throwing rockets close to the border, which we were now close to the border.

Yeah.

These young girls came running into the hospital, and I said to Marina, "What are they saying at this time?" And she texts me, she's like, "There's rockets in the street." And I was like, I'm bawling.

So that was, it was so crazy.

And that day we stayed there for probably six, seven hours, and he would shoot the - comms down, so we couldn't talk to each other.

I couldn't message you or my mom.

And it was just, like, fun.

Oh, so fun.

Literally, it was a bench-

Yeah

… Crystal: and there was only spot for two of us.

So literally, like, me and my husband, and then Marina started, the three of us would rotate So there'd be two people sitting at all time, and we would just sit and rotate, and then the curtain beside us, there was like a hospital curtain, and people would be giving birth because it was a maternity…

They have maternity hospitals there.

Yeah.

And we must have heard, I don't know, 20 babies being born that day.

You were

real

I've never heard- …born, yeah … never actually heard a baby being born until then, and yeah, no, no food.

I kept asking for Marina for water, so we, we ended up being able to buy a bottle of water from them where they had to buy the medicine.

And she kept saying like, "I don't want to," like, and we would have to use like charades for a lot of d- for it.

She, she didn't want to give birth in the b- the basement, she kept calling it.

Yeah.

In the bunker.

Yeah.

And so, so here we are- … a few weeks going by, and you know, now labor began, and it was early labor, but- Yeah

but e- essentially-

30 s- 36 weeks … she held

on.

Yeah.

She held on to 36 weeks to the day, and then that morning she said, "Hurry, they're coming." We don't know what happened exactly, if the doctor maybe pushed it a little bit 'cause they wanted her out at 36 weeks, which is fine.

But we rushed to the hospital and we had to, 'cause it was COVID, we had to wear the mask and they had to, we had to…

They're like, "You have to buy the, you know, the hospital surgical hat or whatever and the, the gown or whatever- The hat and the things,

yeah … and the

things.

And we rush in, and the babies are there.

Yeah.

And I'm like- They're

here

… " Crystal: No, we're looking for our surrogate.

Like, we're looking for Marina," but nobody speaks English in the thing, and we're trying to Google translate, and then the, comms are down at this point.

And then w- they're like, "Here," and they're looking, and there's three babies in this room, so two in a incubator and one, was in another incubator.

And we're like, "No, no, we're looking for like the room for delivery." And they're all like going like this to us.

We have no idea.

Like, I don't even think for one minute that those are mine.

Like, not even like 60 seconds-

Yeah

… Crystal: made me think that.

And then somebody came in and she's like, "Hi, I'm Dr. Leela, and these are your babies if you're from Canada.

Da da, these are yours, and your surrogate's over there." And we're like, "What?" And they're like, "It was a rush.

We just got them here." And we're like, "What?"

And she's like, "They were just born a few seconds ago." I'm like, "They just came in here?" And we're like, "What?" Like, we had no idea.

Mm. It was like, it was like the craziest experience.

And she's like, "Do you want to hold them?" And then she starts taking them out, and I'm like, "Oh," again.

I can get you guys pregnant.

I'm not, I don't know what to do with this little thing.

And I like start freaking out.

Yeah, it's

real.

You're, it's-

Yeah … right, right now

it's

real.

Yeah, like after like struggling all these years, I'm like, "What is going on?"

It's happening.

And you're, like you're almost like traumatized.

Like, you're like, "What?"

And then my husband's like, " Wait, we need to take pictures for citizenship." So he took pictures.

They still have all the stuff on their face, like the gunk and stuff.

So he took two pictures, and he texts the thing, and kept trying to email and text the, diplomats at the embassy to make sure that they could get the pictures, 'cause we need a confirmation of birth before we can get citizenship.

Yeah.

So does that, hold the baby.

Don't even hold the… I think I didn't hold Savannah, I held Maverick first.

The air raid go on.

they threw, the nurses like literally grabbed them out of our arms, put them in the incubator, grabbed the other baby, and they're like yelling, and the air raids.

I'm like, "I'm not leaving them," and they're like, "You…"

They wouldn't let us in the NICU bomb shelter.

So we had to go to find the surrogate, and they said, "Go, go to this…" The only one that spoke to, English was Dr. Leela, and she's like, "Go see your surrogate.

I'll come get you.

They'll be okay.

I'm gonna be with them." So that was like an hour and a half, two hours maybe.

It was, like, horrible.

We had no idea, and we kept asking.

Like, I'm pretty, I'm pretty annoying at the best times.

Like, I was, like, really annoying at this point.

And so I just remember sitting with Marina, and I remember just, like, sitting there, and I was, like, playing with her hair just to calm her down 'cause she was, like, laying on a stretcher still.

And there was a million people around.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

She's in a bomb shelter on a stretcher, and I just remember playing with her hair.

Probably… Yeah.

Yeah.

And it was like, finally we got to go see them again, and yeah, yeah.

I know.

They were there, and they were healthy.

And,

yeah.

And Marina, like, packed up shop and- Uh

and off she went.

Well, she couldn't- She couldn't, we couldn't take the babies out until Marina was cleared to

go.

Yeah.

So yeah, w- they were in the hospital for six days.

Yeah.

And then the doctor said, who we became really close with, she said to me, "It's safer for the babies to be at the hotel than to be here because he's gonna hit the, the hospital."

They, they were getting intel that they could hit the hospital, I guess.

Yeah.

And she's like, "I don't want them here." And I'm like, "I don't know what to do.

Like, what happens if something happens?" And she's like, she gave me her cell number and her husband's cell number, and she's like, "You call me." She's like, "I'll find my way to the hotel."

So she's like an angel.

So yeah, it was crazy.

And Ukraine have, they don't have car seats, so I'm like, because I'm so, like, I didn't want anything to happen to them, so we searched, like, the day before we were leaving the hospital, like, for, like, random car seats that they had.

And we were, like, driving or Ubering all over Ukraine to get, car seats.

Finally got two car seats 'cause they just don't make them.

Yeah.

and we, yeah.

' Kristen: Cause you had stuff back in Poland.

Yeah, we didn't have car seats.

You didn't have car seats-

Car seats … but you had a bunch of- But we had a stroller and stuff like that … stroller, yeah.

But yeah, but I'm like, "I don't wanna carry them," yeah.

And then the trouble was to get back into Warsaw and how to leave Ukraine.

So

I mean, what an insane experience to, to go through.

And now you're looking for objects, you have two very tiny… Oh my gosh, they were so tiny- … little wee ones.

Yeah,

five and a half pounds.

And it's time to get back.

Like, you gotta get out of here.

I remember you were dealing with the air raid sirens, the, you know, the bombs were coming closer, people were fleeing out of the area, and it was your turn.

Like, you had to get out.

Yeah.

So how did you… Twins in tow.

Yeah.

Maverick and Savannah in tow.

Yep, Savannah.

Francois in tow.

How did you guys get out and get back to Canada?

Ooh.

Well, we searched for, I think it was probably a week, or since the day they were born, we were hunting for somebody to help us get out, and who to trust.

Like, some people wanted, like, $20,000 US for them helping us.

some people were asking for 10,000, some people were asking for 5,000.

Like, it was all over the board, and we didn't know who to trust because other intended parents were getting screwed.

Some people had to walk right across the border, and they didn't have passports and they didn't have citizenship yet.

so they were just taking their baby and trying to get across.

Some at the beginning were getting cleared, but some weren't, and they were getting stuck hours and hours and hours at the border.

And I wanna preface the fact that, you know, for, for anyone who's listening who has already had a baby or has been with friends who've had a baby, maybe a family member, when you first have a newborn-

life at home in bed is a struggle.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay?

Life at home in bed with help is a struggle.

Yeah.

Now-

Yeah

… Kristen: to think about being in a hotel room with no supplies in a war zone trying to escape with newborns-

Yeah

… Kristen: that you are not prepared for, essentially.

Yeah,

yeah.

Excuse me?

I will, I will say, so the agency doesn't, no agency, I don't think, was recommending this at the time.

But, like, when Marina left the hospital, we were scared for her to go and find her family, and, she kept saying it's okay.

So she came back to the hotel with us and stayed with us that night.

And when the babies were crying, like, at whatever, every 90 minutes I had to feed them and stuff, she was getting up and helping me.

Mm-hmm.

One time I think I just, like, conked out, and I woke up and she was holding Savannah, and she's like, "She just wants to be held like a princess." Like, she, she typed that to me.

She's like, "She just wants to be held like a princess." So she, she's, like, more than a surrogate, for sure.

she just is, like, amazing.

So- Yeah, we, we had to get back.

We went through like, there were so many people, like we didn't know who to trust.

We didn't know like how we were gonna find like an extra like… I think the magic number kept being 20,000.

I will say that about, I think it was two hours after they were born, Ross, the diplomat, Diplomat Ross I call him, he came through and said, "We got citizenship.

Check." About eight hours after they were born, they had Canadian passports printed.

Ah, except they were in Warsaw, so he's like, "I just, I can't cross the border."

Yeah.

As a diplomat, he couldn't go back to his post in Ukraine, so he's like, " I just don't know how to get them." People there then were wanting to charge us, like, 3 to $5,000 to bring the passports.

Yeah.

So we didn't know what to do.

We didn't know who to trust.

There's a lot of corruption, as we all know now, in Ukraine, but it was apparent, like, people are like, "Be careful because if you give money to this person, they may say they're gonna do that. You may never see the passports."

Yeah.

" Or you may never get across the border.

They'll bring you somewhere else and demand more money."

Mm-hmm.

So that was, that was a fear, and we didn't know who to trust and what to do.

So we finally, I think you or my mom were together, seeing Fox News or something, and they were interviewing Project Dynamo- Mm-hmm … and their ex-m- y- military team, and they helped and saved us.

the guys there were so amazing, and I, yeah, I'll never forget it.

And they brought us right… Usually they drop you right over the border.

They brought us right into Warsaw, and they were amazing.

And yeah, and I guess we waited in Poland.

I think we had to wait a week- Yeah … for the birthway to go up before we could fly home.

Yeah.

And then Kristen, my mom, my dad, were waiting for us when we got back.

We were.

And a full, a full room ready

to go.

Oh, yes.

'Cause I didn't have a nursery at that time.

So they had the cribs.

They had everything put together.

Yeah, we had, you know, the community really came together.

You- Yeah.

She's in, uh-

Waterdown in Ontario, and we called on f- friends- Everybody … and family to come and help unpack and, and- It was crazy … prep the room and-

Yeah.

I was so grateful.

And then you were

home.

Yeah.

And they were home.

Yes.

So that's my story.

Oh, my gosh, and this is why I told the girls- Mm-hmm … that I don't really wanna do this, because I didn't wanna cry like this the whole time.

But here we are.

However, the reason we're gonna do this podcast is to help other people going through this.

we have a series we're gonna do that's called Love Your Story, and my clients are gonna share their stories, or anybody going through a fertility journey.

They're gonna share all the ups and downs and the craziness that they go through.

We're gonna talk about the Fertility Fight Club because it's not just a podcast.

We have a whole community- That we support each other, we laugh together, we do groups.

I bring on special guests, I bring on doctors.

I give the girls full menus and meal plans and supplements and all the good things, and all the things that that US doctor told me to do, that's what I teach.

That's what I do for my girls.

you can also… We'll talk about working with me one-on-one and what I do for my one-on-one clients to get them pregnant really fast.

And we're gonna have a really special one, and I don't have a name for it yet, but it's gonna call, be called like Try It.

And I'm gonna go out with like Kristen, or I have Nurse Lindsay that's amazing, or Shandra.

We're gonna go out in the community and do some cool things that move the needle to get your fertility further and help you.

because the goal is to be healthy and have a healthy pregnancy and get pregnant fast, but also to be healthy moms and have healthy babies.

Yeah.

And I think we miss that.

And we also, after you're pregnant, the girls don't necessarily leave the group.

We have a group called the Blooming Mamas, and that carries on.

And, we just made a decision actually the other night that it's gonna be, like, a lifetime free access to any of my personal clients, and they can share and support all the new moms, and with tools and tips and tricks and support services and things like that for everybody.

So we have a lot going on in this podcast, and we wanted to kick it off with my story.

Well, I don't know if I love this idea anymore with all my crying.

Promise I won't cry on every episode.

But,

yeah, so Kristen.

Hey, I mean, we all- We all have emotional moments, and this is a big one.

And I think, you know, it, it speaks to the truth of, of the emotions and the, you know, trauma and beautiful outcome that has, resulted in Maverick and Savannah- Yeah

which are the most incredible kids.

I'm getting teary-eyed.

But, and to watch you go through this and, you know, to be a friend, trying to, to do whatever I could to help you through, would never have changed a moment.

Yes.

Um, so to be here- Thank you … to, to kick this off with you, I'm so excited.

to quickly wrap up, for anyone who is listening to this, this is just one of many journeys of success.

Yeah.

But also in this is your keys and secrets, Yeah … to a viable pregnancy.

It's, you know, something that I would definitely subscribe to and, and- Yeah

and move along, uh, the journey with Crystal and, and all her experts.

So thank you, Crystal.

Thank you.

Thank you to everyone who's tuned into this.

Uh- Thank

you so much, Kristen.

I couldn't do it without you here today.

Absolutely.

And I just hope it helps somebody on their journey, and I really hope it… I wanna give you like…

Like I said, I went through so much, and in different episodes, we'll break down, like, all the things, and we will talk about the medical system and who to trust and when to trust your gut and all those things.

So thank you.

Great.

Thanks.

Well, this is The Fertility Fight Club.

Thank

you.

And, uh, we'll, we'll tune in next time.

Thank you.

Thank you.