In this episode: how we are saying goodbye to toxic culture of rewarding burnout over sustainability, and embracing the reality of building a profitable business without sacrificing your health, values, or team.

Emily Dean is an entrepreneur, brand strategist, and seasoned marketer helping women scale purpose-driven brands without self-sacrifice. Emily and Teresa discuss the reality that many people face: working to the point of burnout, with the goal that they will be happy and live a fulfilling life after they retire, and how this is a wake-up call they have both experienced first-hand. They also get into what founder-first vs. customer-first branding looks like, mindful disrupters and how Emily is helping female founders build profitable businesses that align with their values, and the best practices of using AI in business.

If you've ever felt burnt out chasing a version of success that isn't yours, this one's for you.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• There is a way to find balance between having a fulfilling life and a fulfilling career - so many people wait until after they retire to start fully living the life they want, and it is not always guaranteed.
• Surrounding yourself with a community and friendships with people of all ages and backgrounds is incredibly valuable because it challenges you to see the world differently.
• Women are often more mindful when approaching business. When women have money, they tend to give back to their communities and employees.
• In this day and age where there is often the question of whether AI was used to create something, and can sometimes raise red flags for those consuming your content, consider including a disclaimer if you used AI in some way to expand on your original thought.

“I don’t think success is something that should require us to disappear inside of it.” - Emily Dean

Resources Mentioned:

• Qveen Herby - The Fool

Connect with Emily:

• Website: https://www.boltandbloom.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mledean/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emilyjdean/

Connect with Teresa

• Join the Becoming Obsessed Playground, the weekly email for curiosity-led women building a life they love.
• Instagram: @becomingobsessedpod and @teresaajean
• Leave a review on Apple or Spotify Podcasts. Reviews are the biggest thank-you, and reviews help ambitious women find the show.
• Website: teresaajean.com

branding strategies, entrepreneur mindset, women in business, mindful disruptors, personal brand development, overcoming burnout, business authenticity, marketing for female founders, success without sacrifice, corporate to entrepreneur transition, emotional resilience, brand positioning, business sustainability, creative entrepreneurship, wellness in business, storytelling in branding, life balance for entrepreneurs, building a life you love

Mentioned in this episode:

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There was a shift moment for me that happened and it was when I was sitting at hospice with my aunt.

I get a slack notification from the place that I was working at the time.

They knew what my situation was.

They knew what my life looked like in that moment and it was harassing me about a PowerPoint presentation as I'm sitting here on her deathbed.

Literally.

And it was just the veil of performance, that trap that we are all, all stuck in all the time just became lifted.

And I don't think success is something that should require us to disappear inside of it.

Welcome to Becoming Obsessed, where curiosity leads you to a life you love.

I'm Teresa Stasny and after over a decade of traveling the world, working with small business owners and creating a couple businesses of my own, I know a thing or two about playing by your own rules.

It's not always easy and it's often messy.

It can be hard, especially, especially if you're doing it alone.

I've seen way too many incredible women shoot for the stars only to burn out along the way.

Or worse, live on default and never chase their dreams.

We're done with all of that.

Together we're gonna challenge what keeps us stuck and figure out what it takes to live a life we truly love.

Today, we are becoming obsessed with, or should I say you are becoming obsessed with one of my all time favorite people.

A woman I met only a year and a half ago and now I speak to every single day.

Our group chat is blowing up and I am so excited.

I've been trying to get her on the podcast for a while, mostly just so I can yap to her even more and bring her light to you all.

But also because she is a marketing and branding genius and more women who actually understand this and how to do it in a way that works for your business.

And isn't this endless cycle of trying to rebrand all the time the better.

So without further ado, let me introduce today's guest, Emily Dean.

She is one of my very best friends and she is also an entrepreneur, brand strategist and seasoned marketer helping women scale purpose driven brands without self sacrifice.

Over the past 15 plus years, she has held leadership roles across entertainment, media and consumer brands, including many, you know like Paramount Global, MTV, Nickelodeon, CBS.

She's overseen multimillion dollar initiatives within organizations, managing 250 million-plus in annual revenue.

And after witnessing how high growth environments reward burnout over sustainability, Emily founded Bolton Bloom to challenge the default playbook.

Today she partners with what she calls mindful disruptors women founders building profitable business ecosystems who refuse to grow at the expense of their health values.

Our team, we love.

Through her propriet brand reset methodology, Emily helps founders break through messaging plateaus, sharpen positioning so their brands scale with clarity, integrity, and revenue that actually compounds.

And she has even helped me with branding for becoming obsessed.

Emily, welcome to Becoming Obsessed.

Thank you so much for having me.

Wow, what a weird experience hearing your own bio, like, read back to you like that.

You're like, wait, did I write that?

Yeah.

I'm like, wow, okay, I have done some shit.

I guess the thing that is missing from the bio that I want to get into.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, we're going off rip.

Yes.

Is 15 years doing big.

I don't really cuss on this podcast.

And because I'm talking to you, I just want to be like, big ass shit at corporate, at these huge media companies that infiltrate all of our lives.

And now you have your own brand and now you're an entrepreneur.

How?

Walk me through your story of how you did some of that in corporate, gained all of this knowledge, all this expertise, became such a branding genius, and now have your own company.

Oh, my gosh, what a beautiful question.

And I just want to caveat by saying, I am a double Scorpio.

So I like to go real deep, real fast, but I will come up for air, so don't worry about it.

Or not.

Everybody take a deep breath because we're going in.

We're going in.

Yeah.

I realized that I am not fun at parties anymore because I'm not about the small talk and I'm all about, okay, tell me your deepest, darkest feelings, fears.

Like, let's get into it.

What's the dream?

Like, where are we going?

Like, how are we conquering the world?

Let's go.

People don't want to talk about all the things.

I'm like, oh, I'm not going to talk about the weather.

Okay.

Like, let's just not.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I will always talk about the weather and.

Okay.

But you're one of the few people that I know that can actually make talking about the weather fun, to be fair.

Well, and we live in Nebraska, so the weather is not just, oh, it's sunny today.

She's a drama queen here for sure.

Okay.

Yeah.

So it is a story.

I've had a lot of people ask, like, was there some grand moment where you kind of pivoted into entrepreneurship?

And at first it was a thread that kind of pulled a little bit over time, and I maybe wasn't realizing it while it happened.

But now when I think about this question, there was a moment.

There was a shift moment for me that happened, and it was when I was sitting at hospice with my Aunt Debbie, and I get a slack notification from the place that I was working at the time.

They knew what my situation was.

They knew what my life looked like in that moment, and it was like harassing me about a PowerPoint presentation as I'm sitting here on her deathbed, literally.

And in that moment, even though I didn't realize it at the time, it was just the veil of performance, that trap that we are all kind of stuck in all the time just became lifted.

And it was just something that I don't think success is something that should require us to disappear inside of it.

So although in that moment, I didn't have that.

I was just kind of like, what the f?

This feels so wrong in this moment.

And I couldn't really fully articulate why, but it was kind of the beginning of what put me on this trajectory of just recreating my whole life from scratch and learning what the balance was of taking all of this amazing corporate career that I had, working on these amazing brands, and then doing something with it that I felt was more meaningful.

I'm so grateful for that moment in so many different ways.

And one of the things that led me back to living in Omaha, and that has come with its own slew of gratefulness as well and learnings.

But she represents so much for me because she, you know, was a huge part of my life, and she did all the things right.

She was at her job for, like, 30 years and did the thing, had the life, and then she got to the point where she was about to retire and didn't get to enjoy it.

And so I'm sitting there with that, seeing that happen in real time, and then seeing the reflection of what my life was in that moment and how it was kind of perpetuating the same cycle.

It was just like, you know what?

There has to be a better way.

And that was kind of like the first jumping off point into what was next.

I love that you unravel the story, because so often we talk about a decision being made.

I don't think a lot of people understand what goes into that long Runway of.

You can only see it in hindsight.

You don't wake up one day and you're like, aha, I shall change everything without, like, 10 moments or 10 years of moments that actually help to change you and prepare you for taking that leap.

And so I love hearing that action story of that more.

And such a common tale of somebody lives their whole life working, waiting to actually enjoy their life during retirement and then they don't get to.

And yeah, it's so sad to see.

And it also is.

Seeing that narrative for me was an early wake up call.

Like, I don't remember a point in my life where I wasn't aware that that was what people were doing and that people were unhappy and happy to be unhappy with the idea that like one day they get to wake up and be happy.

One day.

Yeah, that's just like living in our current society and that's the structures that we absorb without being fully aware of it.

But yeah, obviously a, a moment in time, but also such a, a gift in such a profound way.

But yeah, you're totally right.

It's like now that I've had some space from it, I can kind of look back on it and see where there were all these little micro moments that kind of led up to the thing.

So a bit of a departure from where I'm at now, but kind of isn't at the same time.

But I've always kind of had this thing where I love music and musicians because I think that there's such a reflection of somebody being their true as hell selves.

They are putting it all on the line.

They're putting their creativity out there in a way that I feel is just so bold and amazing and.

And I've always wanted to be surrounded by that.

So I moved out to New York.

Ended up kind of falling into advertising as people do.

My first advertising job was working on the Lexus account.

And if you can just imagine a scene of, you know, me, I'm like five foot one little girl walking into a dealership of like 25 car dealers men, and trying to tell them how to spend their advertising dollars.

It was absolutely absurd.

You're like, spend your money with me and I will make you money.

And then that ended up leading me.

I found this entertainment agency that was doing work with Verizon.

So I got to start planning like all of their music and entertainment sponsorships.

So if they want to do product placement in like a Fox studio film or they went on tour with a band called Big Time Rush, you know, So I got to like.

That was like the Nickelodeon band, right?

Which, who knew I would eventually go work there.

That's not really weird now that I Think about it.

And so I fell into that and I was like, ooh, like, this is starting to get juicy.

This is what I like.

And then one of my old bosses from Toyota, from the Lexus account ended up bringing me over to Nickelodeon.

So I learned really early on just the power of relationships and knowing what good and bad leadership looked like.

And I always gravitated towards people who I felt like had really good leadership qualities.

And she was one of them.

Brought me over there.

And then that started my, like, eight, nine year career at Paramount.

And then obviously, those are a lot of entertainment properties, so I still got to kind of be one foot in the music industry, one foot out of it.

But this idea of what surrounds creativity and how we absorb creativity and how we absorb culture and what culture means is what led me into this space.

Well, and one thing that we'll get into more, I'm sure that I find so interesting is we're both in marketing, but I came to marketing by way of, like, small business, online business, course creator, creator business.

And you came like, yes, still with a.

Through line of creativity, but the, like, corporate, big media company.

And so we'll be talking about the same thing, and just the language we use is different.

And I'm like, okay, Ms. Jargon, what is this corpo language?

I think we also just need to take a moment to appreciate that we have, like, a generational friendship, and we represent two very different age ranges that are very important in today's culture.

And I think just the conversations that we're able to have as a result of that is pure gold to me.

Because I'm like, what do you mean you didn't have a pager?

Like, what?

Literally everybody important in my life is your age.

So I'm like, what are you talking about?

I'm not part of your age group.

I'm like my partner, my two best friends, my sister.

Like, all of you guys are the.

Same age, but it just brings such a different type of really fun value because I just think the most important thing we can do in life is surround ourselves with people who can force us to see the world differently.

And the older I get, the more I'm like, yeah, I want to be friends with people who are very different than me, come from different paths, see the world differently, all those things, it just makes it so much richer.

Well, and side note, that's honestly one of the reasons I love this podcast is because I have women in their, like, 60s and 70s on this podcast.

And I'm just like, tell me all of the knowledge and one woman.

Her episode maybe will have aired when this airs.

It hasn't aired at the time of recording, but she is in her 60s, I believe she lives alone.

She just moved to this small town like, a few years ago, goes to the river every day and makes music.

And you would actually love her.

I need to introduce you to her.

I adore this woman, so we'll make that happen.

But back to what I was kind of wanting to get at is one of the things that I find so fascinating about your expertise is something that I lack is the research side.

I'm like, okay, what's going to work for you, baby?

Like, let's figure it out.

Like, what do you need to do?

For you, there's a lot of trial and error and ab testing type stuff, but with you, you do such a deep dive on market research, on analyzing other brands to understand how they work.

Everybody go to her Instagram because you will see exactly what I'm talking about.

She does these incredible case studies, and my brain, whenever I see them, I'm like, literally, I never thought about none of it.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like, sometimes in passing, I'll analyze brands, but I just do not do that deep dive that you do and you bring to the table.

And I find that so fascinating that, again, we kind of have parallel and different universe marketing and, like, background and like, getting to this place where we now work together.

But I'm always so impressed.

I'm like, how do you even know to go do all this research and understand the market and understand the customers and the competitors and like all of these other pieces that really go into positioning?

Mm, yes.

I think brand strategy gets thrown around a lot, just the idea of that.

And also it's easy to forget what it is and why we need it.

Because when you really just cut through it, brand strategy is making your business relevant.

That's it.

That's all it is.

But the thing about it is it's very intangible.

It's like the feeling, the idea that exists in the hearts and minds of your consumers.

So the strategist job is to understand that consumer in such a way that you can connect the dots between what it is, the F you do and why your consumer should even care.

So it requires a lot of research, it requires a lot of empathy and a lot of putting yourself in somebody else's shoes and understanding what is the problem that I'm experiencing right now that you're helping me solve.

Because I think what founders do and I've done this a lot myself.

Is like, when we're starting a business, we get so excited about the thing that we're doing.

And that's beautiful.

You're at the edge of creativity and your ideas are coming up like popcorn.

Like, I want to do this and then this happens and then this.

But we sometimes lose sight of the fact that we are not the hero of our business.

And I spend a lot of time reminding people of that.

And it's not meant to take the fun out of it, but it is forcing somebody to put themselves in a different perspective.

Because when you're building every day, it's just really hard to see the objectivity of what you're doing.

So, yeah, I mean, I just, like, as a human being, my personality has always been this way.

Every relationship with a man I've ever been in, they're like, why do you ask so many damn questions?

I need to know.

It's just how I think.

And so I'm sure you've even noticed in some of our conversations, you'll say something and listening to what you're saying, but then I'm asking you to clarify something in what you said.

Because if I can hear you say the same thing in two different ways, I now have a deeper understanding of what you actually meant.

So when somebody's saying something to me, I'm always thinking about the deeper meaning behind what they're saying.

And it's exhausting sometimes.

But this is just how I'm wired.

You're like, and that's why I drink coffee every day.

Caffeine.

Caffeine queen.

Totally.

Yes.

Well, and it's interesting that you kind of are getting at it in that way of your business isn't for you.

Your business is separate from you.

And as you were talking, in my own businesses realm, of all the businesses, I run my marketing agency 100% not for me.

There is this very low hanging fruit that if people just send more emails with like 5% of finesse and strategy and actually knowing what to say, you're gonna make more money.

If you do more of it, you're gonna make more money, you're gonna get better at it.

And that's such a low hanging fruit for me to help more people make more money in their business.

But the pad cat, and maybe this is really why I haven't fully monetized or like activated it in that way.

And in a lot of ways, the podcast is still, quote unquote, a hobby, even though it has an llc, is because it's like for Me, I'm talking to you because I want to talk to you.

And I know you have amazing things to say for everyone listening.

Hi.

But also it's about what I want to hear.

It's about who I want to talk to.

It's about me processing my own journey.

And then I'm kind of just like, and if you want to come along, come along and let's hang.

Sometimes you are the customer and that's okay.

You know, it's just, what are we building for and why are we building it?

A lot of people call themselves strategists.

It's kind of becoming this, like, weird loose term.

But it's like the strategist's job is to get you to fully understand why you're taking the action that you're taking and what is the job that it's doing.

It's the arrow, it's the compass pointing you in a direction.

It's essential.

But I do think a lot of the times it gets overlooked.

It's like love in a way.

It's like one of those things where if you don't have it, you will see the absence of it down the road, but you might not necessarily realize that you need it in the moment.

Honestly, that's a great one.

But, I mean, I say all this and I am like, guilty of the same mistake of putting myself at the forefront of the business.

But at the end of the day, I also want more women to make more money.

And I truly believe a founder led brand, it should be treated as an asset in the business and not a side hustle, because it is something that can naturally compound.

But I made the same mistake with my own brand.

When I launched Bolton Bloom.

I positioned myself as almost being at the corner of brand and wellness.

I'm a yoga girly.

I did my teacher training, all the things.

Like, I very much align with a lot of Buddhist principles.

And honestly, when I look back at that a little bit, I kind of cringe.

And it wasn't that long ago because all that positioning was about me.

I was describing my interests, my journey, like my aesthetic, and it wasn't about who I actually was serving.

And then when I started to really go deep into, like, what is it for feel, like, what does it look like to exist as a female founder in today's culture?

And I started really picking apart that journey.

I was kind of like, holy shit.

The thing that I can do is help her find the right problem to solve and then solve that by doing the next right thing, making the process simple.

And easy.

And so I was like, I'm going to include meditation.

I'm going to do breath work at like the beginning of my consultations.

Like that.

They can do that before they show up.

They need to have their own rituals in place.

Yes.

I don't need to be that person.

Yes, queen.

Like, I want all of that for you, but that's not my job.

My job to help you be a founder first company is to make your life easier.

And how can I do that?

This is how I do that.

Well, and something that you talk about a lot is working with mindful disruptors, which.

Okay, first off, the proof is in the pudding.

I've never heard anyone else say that or talk about that.

So talk me through.

Like, mindful disruptors.

How do you define them?

Who are they?

And how did you realize this is who you're gonna work with?

Yeah, the research shows that just women, we're less likely to be funded.

We're more likely to second guess ourselves.

There is a whole matrix of problems that women uniquely face when they're building businesses over men.

Not to say that those problems don't also exist for men, but you know what I mean, we're talking about like the broader statistics here.

So when I think about that and when I think about everything that they're dealing with, the wellness, putting her at the center point of her business, the want to evolve into that place where her business actually becomes a true representation of herself.

That, to me, is mindfulness.

We know that, like when women make more money, they tend to do different things with it.

They put it back into their community, they put it back into their people, they treat their people better, they invest in their people at a higher rate.

So to me, women are inherently a little bit more mindful when they're approaching business.

But I also want her to put herself at the focal point of her business because I feel like that's how she's able to disrupt the market.

It's like people who want to flip systems on their heads, people who want to make a change in a given industry.

People who see that there is a way to do something differently, whether that's in healthcare, whether that's in beauty, whatever that looks like.

And they want to lead values first.

And also she wants to make money doing it.

Like we live in a capitalistic society.

Nobody's ignoring that.

So how can we build all these things?

And how can we do it in a way that isn't intentional, but also simple, so that she can get shit done and make more money doing it.

Well, and I love this because it is.

Let's actually look at what a disruptor is first, and then we're going to make sure that we're actually doing it mindfully as well, and mindfully of how we're showing up.

So often we think of these companies that are disruptors, that are, like, very tech bro y and very hustle culture.

And so it's almost like we're not moving slower or gently.

We're just being mindful of it.

But you said something, and I always love when people start to say something that sounds like a contradiction in their philosophy, because it's always that nuance that it's like, no, this is how I know you know what you're talking about.

And the way you approach it is because you said, like, you want the founder to be the forefront of their business, but also the business isn't about you.

Talk me through that.

Almost feeling like those are contradictions when you kind of need to analyze both sides.

What a great question.

Because the beauty really does live in the nuance.

So when I think of, like, a founder first business, it is.

I hate the word authenticity.

I hate it.

At this point, I'm, like, completely getting rid of it in my own, like, lexicon.

But it is authentic to what she actually wants to change in the world that is coming through.

So to me, it starts with you.

It starts with you as the founder, your energy, your capability, like, what is your zone of genius, all of those things.

Because if you don't actually take that into account at the beginning, the whole thing of, like, you can only fill up other people's cup when yours is full, put on your oxygen mask first.

So I think it starts with the founder.

And that, to me, is inherently important.

And I think when we scale, sometimes we lose ourselves in the scaling process, which is why I'm such a fan of founder first brands.

It keeps you accountable to yourself.

But if you're running a values first brand, you're inherently making your brand about the consumer.

It's just that the way that you're talking about it is geared towards them and not you.

So you've built this thing.

But in order to get people to see and care about the thing, they need to understand what it means in the context of their life.

So if I'm just like, oh, my God, Teresa, I came up with Spindrift.

Let me tell you my founder story about why I created it and all the reasons about why I felt like this product needed to make it to market.

If I just ended There you'd be like, what?

No, girl.

Because I didn't tell a story in a way that felt relatable to you.

But if I'm able to talk about this in a way that how it improves your life and your day to day and makes it relevant to the things that you know, like trust, care about, then that becomes a completely different story.

But it can still start with your why.

But you're translating your why into why it matters.

Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna reiterate this.

Tell me if we're on the same wavelength, because the way that I'm hearing it and honestly agree with is it's the same reason so many people are so burnt out in their work, because they're doing things based on thinking they should do them.

And so there's a way to take this idea of being founder first and making sure your business about the customer.

There's almost.

You guys know I never say this, but there's almost a right way and a wrong way.

Because if you flip it and you're doing these things, it's not like in reverse.

But when you're being founder first in your business, you need to make sure you're building a business that feels good within your body, that you're doing the things that you can do and only you can do that light you up and give you energy and that are solving a problem that you actually care about in the world.

Instead of doing everything because you feel like you should being focused on where everything else is going, all the things you're not doing the comparison game.

But then you take that.

That's like the house you're building is like the house you want to live in, not the house that you saw somebody else live in.

And you think you need to, but then you still have to invite people into the house.

And that's when we start to look at, okay, how do we express what we've built in a way that is about them and is going to make them want to come here instead of being like, okay, well, I'm going to worry about the customer, or not even the customer, but all the other things going on and build a business that everybody else is putting pressure.

What I think I should instead.

That's a very good way of putting it.

Absolutely.

Some of the examples that come to mind are, I see it happen a lot when people bring on vc.

It's like all of a sudden you have these other stakeholders who are kind of slowly starting to erode at what you set out to do.

And that's not to say there isn't great VC money out there, but there's a risk that happens when you bring other people into the business and you haven't cemented what that thing is for you.

So if you're operating on a. I'm doing this because I think I should.

And this is what is being reflected to me by like other people, your values are going to go to the wayside once you get that VC money.

We're seeing it happen left and right and consumers are really smart.

We might be doom scrolling and have a lot of other bad habits that we've picked up over the course of time.

Time.

But like we're really smart.

We know we can sniff out when you're not aligned with what you set out to do.

When I say founder first, it is making sure that you are in lockstep with the values that you set out to achieve with your business, no matter how far it grows.

So now let's talk directly to that founder who might be like, okay, I see what you're saying.

I'm hearing it.

Is it my brand they're looking for, that next unlock or something?

Starting to feel shaky or just like unaligned in their business.

How does somebody know if this branding piece is what is now starting to hinder them, hold them back or is out of alignment?

So many ways that it shows up.

But I would say the symptom that I see most often, it's almost like a gut feeling that a founder starts to get when maybe they're showing up to a podcast like this.

They're like, oh wait, I don't actually know how to answer that question anymore.

Or like, I don't know what I'm saying about who I am and what I do in the world.

When that gap starts to happen and you get that distance between how I'm describing what I do and what I actually do, I think that's something that shows up a lot.

There's also just what happens when you grow as a founder.

I feel like brand is not a static thing.

A lot of founders, you know, we put all the money into like our website, our logo, our branding, all this stuff.

But those things don't travel with you the way that an internal strategy does.

Like a brand strategy is meant to do.

The identity, the positioning, the core messaging, the values, those things that are like soul level ingredients of what make up a brand, those are meant to evolve with you.

You can still change as a human being.

But like those things are meant to be kind of the North Star and what carry you into the next chapter.

And so a lot of the times I'll see founders who maybe they just don't relate to what their messaging looks like online anymore, or maybe they're growing so fast that they're starting to feel a distance from what they initially cemented, maybe back in phase one, or sometimes there's even like a whole new body of work that's forming underneath them.

I've had a few different clients who this has happened to.

They're like, well, I used to do this one thing, and now it actually feels like I do something totally different.

So what does that mean?

Oh, okay, well, let's go back to the foundations, and let's cement what you actually are trying to do.

The problem is different.

The culture is different, your consumer's probably different.

So how can we take what you built and translate it into something that can actually move with you?

So it's an evolution gap a lot of the time.

I feel like this stuff should be revisited every year.

Almost doesn't have to be a rebrand of your website or any of the aesthetics stuff, but, like, get intimate with your brand brief.

Yeah.

How many times do you create or hire somebody to create, like, brand guidelines for you?

And then you literally never look at them, or you put it into your chat GPT and your clawed and you're like, okay, now it knows who I am.

I don't have to know who I am anymore.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Yes.

And we.

We see it every day.

I mean, you know, I'm playing with AI all the time.

I think it can be a beautiful thing in so many ways, and I do think it can help a lot of women do the thing that they're setting out to do.

It can close that execution gap in a way that we've never experienced before.

So in that instance, I think it's amazing.

However, it just means the foundations are even more important than they ever were.

So you cannot build a house on quicksand.

If you are building, you're using these tools, you're doing these things, you're probably accelerating at a faster rate.

But unless you're giving it the context that it needs to understand who you are, what you do, and why you're doing it, and why it matters, that context is not going to travel.

And then we all know what that looks like on the other side of the screen, it's gross, messy.

You guys should see our group chat with our other marketing girl, Ashley, because we have been talking about AI so much, and obviously I have been working with an AI company for two and a half years now.

But I'm also very conscious and cautious about AI and AI use.

And then what this year for sure, you were playing with AI before that, but I think this year it's like, really ramped up how much you're really, like, learning and being at the forefront of what is happening in AI.

And so I laugh because I'm like, I need to just pull all of our, like, voice notes and drop them in right here because we've hashed this out so much.

But what you were saying, that last part, I think is so key.

AI and these tools are going to make whatever you're creating, let's just say it makes it faster and it makes more of it.

And so if you are standing on solid ground, then that can go further.

But if you are teetering at all, you don't know where you stand, you don't know what you think about something, then your AI content, whatever it's doing for you, is going to exacerbate that confusion in your messaging.

I don't know if you saw the post that I sent, like, yesterday where this woman was talking about how she now has a clause in her contract.

It's like a kill clause.

So if you use AI, she can kill your project.

She's like, nope, I'm not working with you if you use AI.

Because so many clients were using AI to fill in their intake form.

She would, like, ask questions to understand their brand.

And they would use AI and then she would work on it.

She would create the brief, she would create the deliverables.

And then the client would be like, oh, this, like, doesn't work.

Or this doesn't make sense.

And this brand strategist, whatever she is, she's like, well, why doesn't it make sense?

And they're literally like, because I use Chad GPT to fill it out.

And it gave answers that they don't even know what it said.

And she's like, if you can't take an hour to fill out this form about your business, then I'm not going to spend my time building crap for you based on crap you gave me.

Okay, I'm gonna have to check that out because I absolutely love that it was some tea.

I was like, emily, Emily, Emily.

I typed it so fast.

I was like, look at this, look at this.

This.

Yeah, it's so true.

We need to be able to craft the discernment of what should involve a AI and what shouldn't.

Our identity.

I feel like I've been talking about this so much lately.

But like our identity as human beings and especially as a founder led brand.

If you're building a personal brand around your business and then all of a sudden you sound like AI, there goes your whole clientele.

Because it is a trust game, it is a long, a rust game and people can sniff it out.

But yeah, I mean, AI is infrastructure.

I'm all for it.

I was going to say even one person comes to mind specifically that is a huge creator and has really gotten into sharing her social opinions.

Political adjacent.

I hate to say, like being a good person is political, but in today's day and age.

And she has these really incredible posts sharing information about her state.

She's in Minnesota.

A lot of the things going on and the information is so good.

But the post will say things like this matters because.

And it is so hard for me not to be like, God, that's really bad AI writing.

She's like probably really dumping her thoughts into it.

And maybe she's just not clocked some of the AI things again, you guys, I am so deep in this space.

It is like I almost hit a point months ago where I couldn't even talk about it anymore.

It was right when Emily wanted to talk about it more and I was like, I can't.

I can't talk about this.

We're back though.

We're back.

I recovered.

Hey, we're back at different perspectives though.

The beauty of that.

This is why we have conversations, because we can look at it from all different perspectives and that's okay.

And challenge each other and just have the discourse of like, why you're feeling excited and I'm feeling hesitant and vice versa.

But again, it's like, I think we're hitting a point now where I'm seeing a new wave of women get involved in AI and start to play with it.

Whenever you're listening to this, you might literally be using AI for the first time.

And Em and I have been using it for years.

And so people are learning at different stages and recognizing it at different stages.

For a while we were all kind of growing at the same pace because it was like the people who were interested were on it, everybody else was like, what's going on?

And now we have these kind of waves.

But that's important to realize if you are using it.

Some people are going to get caught up on this.

Sounds like AI.

I'm kind of at a point now where I can see is there original thought behind it.

And then I'm like, if you just literally took out this one sentence that has no meaning to it, no one would know you used AI.

And also, keeping in mind the idea that AI just sounds like really good writers, so now people who actually did write that way that AI was trained on, they are writing themselves as a human, and people are saying that they're AI.

All of that is to say, this is my favorite tip on my AI soapbox.

Have a disclaimer.

If you have a post or a newsletter or something, and you're like, this is my real thoughts, but I used AI to format it.

Let me know.

I just want to know, did you use AI?

Did you not?

And how did you use it?

And as soon as somebody is like, like, these are my original thoughts, and I used AI to format it or to help me draft it or to outline it, my red flags go away.

As soon as somebody just tells me how they did or didn't use AI, I'm no longer questioning it.

And especially in a day and age where people are at such different levels of understanding it, that disclaimer to me builds so much trust.

So even if you are using it, how do we just have that transparency around it anyway?

That's my soap opera.

No, I love that.

I think that's such an important thing to bring up.

I was reading something the other day.

I was talking about the gap between how business owners see AI versus how consumers see AI, and when you're building a business, it's gold.

You know what I mean?

I can ship this thing faster.

I can do this.

Whatever I'm trying to achieve, I can achieve it faster with less people.

And as a solo founder that I am myself, holy hell, what a great time to be alive.

But when you're a consumer, when you're on the other side of that spectrum, and, you know, we're seeing the Everlane Shein acquisitions, allbirds turning into an AI company, we start to question every reality and every message that we see online.

So our job becomes like, how are we being transparent about how this stuff is being used for these things that we're building?

So I think your suggestion is a fantastic one.

One of the things that I love to do with AI because, like, I always want to play devil's advocate, and I do that with other people, too, which, again, is why I'm not great at parties.

I think you're amazing at parties.

We were out last night, and I had a blast.

That's because we were dancing different.

But sometimes I'll Be like, here is my perspective on this thing.

Give me three reasons why this may or may not be true.

So I'm using it more as like a challenge my thinking so that I can get a deeper perspective of what I'm trying to say versus, like, write me a LinkedIn post about AI.

There's a different type of nuance to it if you want it.

And I think the whole like sycophancy when it's just agreeing with you all the time, it's version of psychosis when you're like, okay, do I actually just want this thing to agree with all my shitty ideas?

That is the most dangerous thing ever.

Well, and it is.

It's like at the end of the day, AI companies need to make money.

It is the same as a social media.

They need to keep you on the app.

App your chats are never going to end.

And be like, okay, great, have a good day.

They're always going to try to keep you on the app and keep you using it.

And if it is telling you you have ideas, are you going to want to keep using it?

And so that agreeing with you and the oh, have you thought about this?

Maybe you change this thing now leads you down a rabbit hole if you're not careful where one, you're getting confirmation bias from yourself.

It's mirroring your own ideas back to you whether you think they're good or not.

It is mirroring back.

Yes, this is good.

Unless again, you have the settings and the training so that it doesn't mean it doesn't do it completely because that's it's like baseline programming.

But second, it's always going to suggest another way for you to make a change that it can help you with and especially when it comes to your branding, if you're even using it as this thought partner, you need to know.

And Claud has started to do this again.

You guys, my AI soapbox.

Do you hear me?

Just like, as soon as I start talking about it, you get like really.

Fired up and then you're annoyed.

This is my struggle.

Okay, everyone listening.

I need you to DM me on Instagram Becoming Obsessed Pod and tell me if I should do episodes on AI, because I have been battling this thought of doing it and I keep deciding to do it and then not doing it because that's not what this podcast is.

But AI is a part of our actual lives now and navigating that, I think is part of living a life you love.

So maybe it is.

You DM me and tell me if you Want to hear more of this or if you want me to shut up on it.

But you have to know what you want from it and you have to have clear boundaries with it.

And Em, like you just said, I need you to challenge me on these three things.

Do you then need to have more conversation with it after it challenges you?

Maybe, but maybe not.

And so before you start this, know what your boundaries are and know what completion looks like.

Like Clawd has now or is rolling out something called outcomes.

Basically, like, you're going to be able to say, this is what something done looks like so that it actually knows how to complete a task.

I'm keeping my eye on that.

It's so important.

It's the how.

How are you and why are you using it?

Just knowing that I think is the biggest difference.

Yes, a thousand percent.

Yep.

What a great yap sesh.

What a great yap sesh.

Before we end, I do have a series of final questions, but before I even ask those, can we talk about last night?

I mean, I just needed to dance.

I forget.

It's essential.

It's essential.

Last night, Em and I and another friend went to Queen Herbie and Thought Squad concert, and when I was literally being like, oh, who is Thought Squad?

Like, who's the opener?

I put on the top song and I immediately was off the couch dancing and couldn't help myself.

So this was like, like such a great concert.

But I am so obsessed with Queen Herby as an actual artist.

Did you know she's 40 years old?

I mean, welcome to the revolution.

This woman is out here doing it.

She literally is living the life that she wants to live and encouraging other women to do it.

And as Lauren said, like, casting spells in her songs to, like, encourage the consciousness.

And I just am obsessed.

I'm obsessed.

Lord.

I had heard one song of hers and Teresa was like, hey, should we go to this concert?

And I was like, hell, yeah.

I don't know a ton about her, but I'm in.

And after seeing her perform, I mean, it was just electric.

She has such a stage presence.

She's very early Lady Gaga.

Her visual production is so cool and so intricate.

At one point she was in a whole mermaid get up, just sitting on a throne.

Like, absolutely.

I'm here for that.

But she switches between genres so often that it's just so impressive.

She can be this sensual, like, vocalist, and then all of a sudden she's rapping and really good at rapping.

And the messages were spot on.

I mean, it was giving life to everything.

We gotta do that more often.

It was so much fun.

Okay.

For everyone who doesn't know this artist queen with a V instead of a U. Herbie.

H E R B Y.

Low key.

We think that it might be because Herbie Husker.

And if it is.

And she's from Nebraska, which is so insane.

I just.

Seward.

I kept saying Norfork last night.

Apparently, she's from Seward, Nebraska.

What is the audio?

I want to say the audio.

And I can't remember the first part, but if you're on Instagram or probably Tick Tock.

I'm not on Tick Tock.

You've heard this.

This.

Anyway, it was phenomenal.

It was phenomenal.

It was so much fun.

I'm so glad that you came.

And we're down for the hangs and.

Oh, my God, it was incredible.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

We're gonna have to link that song in the show notes.

Yeah.

Everyone go listen.

Especially if you need a mood uplifter.

But be careful.

Like, disclaimer.

I literally did not pick my body up off the couch.

It got itself up and couldn't stop dancing.

And I was like, all right, we going.

We doing it.

I was like, back at my Central High days, I was really.

I'm really hitting it.

My knees are all of a sudden, they're 20 years old again.

What's happening?

No, it was amazing.

Emily, I want to know what you are obsessed with in a few different areas of life.

So first, when it comes to entertainment or education, I know you're a music girl as well.

What are you listening to?

Reading, Watching that you're obsessed with listening.

To no go eras.

I don't know if you've heard her.

She was on Coachella this year.

Like, I watched from my couch, like, because I'm turning 40.

You know what I mean?

Like, I'm not going to that dirty desert anymore.

But she's amazing.

She's done some collabs with Missy Elliott, who is like, one of my, like, OG favorite artists.

She's very, like, experimental hip hop, kind of a mixed genre vibe, but just super fun.

What I'm watching is super weird, but I have been binging er.

Old school, er, and.

And I'm fascinated by my own fascination because the reason I like it so much is because it's old.

It has done its time.

It is old.

Like pre iPhone.

It's pre iPhone.

And a lot of it hasn't aged well, but it's giving me whimsy because I'm like, oh, if they can just, like, walk into an Operating room and save somebody's life in 10 seconds, then what can I not do?

Okay, I love this take.

Why not me?

I'm doing marketing.

Okay.

If you can save a life, I can save a brand, I can save a business.

I can resuscitate those KPIs.

You know it.

Yeah.

It's like George Clooney just walks in there and he's like, I'm going to take a cbc.

They always say the same thing, cbc.

No, I feel crazy.

I didn't know he was in.

I didn't know George Clooney was in er.

Yes.

It was like one of his, like breakout roles.

He's so hot in it.

But he just like suave will come into the ER room and he's like, I know exactly what's wrong.

Order these three tests.

It's the same three tests every time.

They go into the error and then all of a sudden like magically brought back to life.

It's so.

It's so unrealistic that I'm just living for it.

It's just like those comfort shows.

Exactly.

Otherwise I'm watching the X Files, I'm going deep or I'm going unrealistic, unhinged.

I don't know.

I'm here for it.

When it comes to getting outside of just work mode and taking care of yourself, playing, creating, resting, moving your body.

What are you obsessed with?

I've been lately obsessed with somatic dancing.

Dance has been a theme, I think it's just I've spent a lot of time in silence meditating.

I'm a big believer in meditation.

I don't know, I'm in this place in my life where I need to like move the energy out.

Less healing and more like embodying.

So I've been doing a lot of somatic dance lately.

One of my friends actually got me like an old school DVD player with this woman.

Oh my God, I forget her name.

But she used to be like a dance like yoga teacher type thing and had all these DVDs that my friend and her mom used to watch and dance to like growing up.

And so she got me a couple of them and so now I'm clicking play on a DVD player to dance.

In my living analog.

We're going analog, baby.

That's not like completely analog, but it's better than whatever else.

Forgot how to use a DVD player.

It took me a minute.

I love this so much.

But yeah, apparently dancing is just a thrill line, so.

But I think there's so much of the nervous system healing conversation that we think it all happens in the mind.

But I've been getting really into traditional Chinese medicine lately and a lot of it is actually like you're saying we have to move energy through our body.

If we're just sitting and processing in our mind, it's still just being static.

And don't quote me on anything I'm saying you guys, because I'm am a novice, I'm learning these things.

But Jenny Wedmore, one of her meditations that I've done in the last couple months was an exercise on subconscious journaling where you journal with your eyes closed.

And she was talking about the practice of moving it from your mind to your body and out of your body.

It's good, you guys, if you feel stuck, you gotta move your body.

You gotta do it.

Throw on a song, throw on Queen Herbie or Thought Squad and you will not be able to sit still even if you wanted to.

You.

I'm gonna do it after this.

I mean, yeah, there is just something about it.

I don't know.

I.

Again, double Scorpio.

I tend to spend a lot of time in my mind and sometimes you just need to not.

You gotta get it out of your mind, you gotta get it somewhere else.

Sometimes.

We have over healed ourselves and I'm not a different journey from that.

I spent a lot of time in the therapy and the meditation and like all the things and I'm grateful for that.

But now I'm just like, like I don't know.

The more I've quote unquote healed, I don't know if we ever truly heal.

But like the more work I've done, the more I don't take myself seriously, the more that I understand that like, okay, we are just these small things in this massive universe and none of it actually matters.

So just shake your ass and have a good time.

And on that.

How can people get into your world?

How can they connect with you and work with you?

You.

Yes, yes.

So as I kind of mentioned a little bit before, I love working with founders that are at an inflection point.

So if you are second guessing any of your brand tenants at this point and just need an objective eye to think about how your brand and business is showing up in the world and maybe you want that to look different.

I'd love to work with you.

I do kind of short term sprints with founders in order to make sure the identity, the audience, the positioning and the messaging is where you want it to be.

And so that's kind of like what I do.

And you can find me@bolton bloom.com.

I am on Instagram and TikTok, Emily Dean.

I think those are most of the places you can find me.

And on the dance floor, apparently.

And on the dance floor.

Okay.

If you want the invite, send us a DM and you're in.

Girl, you are in.

But definitely, definitely, if you are actually interested in understanding how successful brands brand, go follow Emily Dean on Instagram.

Because she does case studies that are literally so good.

Like I was saying earlier, I'm always like, wait a minute.

What?

What?

Yeah, that makes sense.

Why did I never think of that?

I never even thought to think that way.

I don't know why I'm talking in an accent.

This is how I actually am with my friends.

You guys, you don't get professional tea today.

It is Friday.

We went out last night.

This is the only thing I'm doing today.

They gave me iced coffee instead of hot coffee, so, no.

What a travesty.

I know.

I love an iced coffee, but I needed the heat for my throat.

Anyway, I love you so much.

I love you too.

This was fun.

This is fun.

Fun.

Okay, everybody, let's go get obsessed.

You're still listening.

Which means this episode connected with you.

And I want to know how.

Send me a DM on Instagram at Becoming Obsessed Pod.

Then send this episode to a friend.

If you know someone who is building a life that they love or they're feeling a little stuck and might just need a nudge, send this to them.

Then rate and review.

Because it also helps us get the word out.

And as you know, we're on a mission for more people to live a life they truly love.

All right, let's go get obsessed.