This episode is dedicated to those women who have already stepped into the Self Love Adventure and new ways to show up for themselves with honour, empathy, love, and presence.  In this interview, I have the pleasure of sharing space with Jennifer Forrest as she shares candidly her experience of moving through doubt, giving herself grace, and embracing the messiness of life by simply showing up with awareness.  She shares her experience of discovering her own way forward with the guidance of the Self Love Adventure, and the power of gathering in The Collective: a safe and magical place of connection and sisterhood.  Come join the self-love adventure and get to know this gorgeous soul in person! 

About the Guest:

Jennifer is a love-centred soul on her own perfectly imperfect adventure through life.  As a seasoned teacher, she leads from a place of kindness, and compassion for others, but has struggled with the same for herself.  She describes herself as persistent and passionate about relationships and how they can be better.  She came to the Self Love Adventure knowing it was time to try a more gentle approach, with the Self Love Adventure. Jennifer is a voracious reader, loves good stationary and pens, and may be found indulging on a good police drama.  “Good people” are her kind of people.  

About the Host:

Tanya's mission is to create a legacy of self-love for women that reinforces trust in themselves through our programs, coaching, podcast, and book, The Trifecta of Joy! As Founder and creator of the Trifecta of Joy Philosophy, she combines over 30 years of research and work in various helping fields, to help you achieve your greatest successes!

Using her philosophy of the Trifecta of Joy, her mission is to empower people through their struggles with the elements of awareness, befriending your inner critic and raising your vibe. This podcast is about sharing stories of imperfection moving through life to shift toward possibilities, purpose, and power in your life!

Having had many wtf moments including becoming a widow, struggling with weight and body image issues, dating after loss, single parenting, remarriage, and blending families, Tanya is committed to offering you inspiration and empowerment – body, mind, and spirit!

As a speaker, writer, and coach, Tanya steps into her life’s purpose daily – to INSPIRE HOPE.

Order your copy of the Trifecta of Joy – HELP yourself in a world of change right here.

Get in touch with Tanya and follow the fun and inspiration in other places too!

www.perfectlyimperfect.wtf 

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Hugs, Hip Bumps, and Go ahead and SHINE!

Xo Tanya

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Hi friend, I'm Tanya Gill, welcome to lighten up and unstuck your What the fuck. Together, we explore the ways through life's stickiness moments, and how to live with more peace, joy, love and gratitude. We're going to talk honestly about what isn't easy so you can discover the light within you that will carry you forward. My friend, this podcast is about you in real life, your body, mind and soul, and the opportunity to not only live your best, but shine, doing it.

My friends, today I have the pleasure of interviewing none other than Jennifer Joy forest. Jen has been on the self love adventure for almost 90 days. And she shares the insights, growth and experiences that she's had, as well as some of those wild AHA hours that come with the adventure. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy Jennifer forest.

So you love that I gave myself a middle name. And it was a booking session. I like literally random made a middle name just because I kind of felt like it.

You don't have a middle name?

No. Do you see what it is?

I know what it is. I saw that. You booked it and I was like, oh my god, her middle name is Joy. I fucking love this.

No, I have zero middle name. I was born three months early. I was two pounds. And I was in an incubator for a month and a half. And my dad didn't come see me. He was so scared I was going to not make it. And my mum and dad decided to give me because I was so small, give me a really long first name, which has been wonderful. So yeah, get to give myself my own middle name. Whatever I feel in that moment.

And in that moment, you chose the word joy.

I did. For a lot of different reasons, I think. You know, Joy is it's it's an easy word. It's a uplifting word. And joy is a choice, isn't it? It like even just speaks that it's a word that doesn't happen to you, you go out and get you make happen. Even just by the way you approach the world. And, you know, I think everyone can use a little joy and see that they can bring that in themselves even in the hardest times.

And it's a good thing for me to remember. I mean, we all get we all have shit, don't we?

We do. Yeah, totally do all have shut down and that in that moment you chose to give yourself the middle name Joy makes me so excited. Because that was you booking this podcast interview. And for people who listen to us they're going to they'll understand that, you know, it's important that they understand the context. You and I have gotten to know each other through the self love adventure that you joined the self love adventure. And when you joined, why did you decide to join?

I've tried a lot of different modalities. I'm a big intellectual reader. I love to talk, I think super extroverted in the sense that I get a lot of energy and calmness and excitement from others when I speak to them. And so this program just seemed to fit all those pieces for me. Connection. Self love, self stewardship, and just getting together with other people who have like minded excitement around themselves and it's time to spend that on ourselves. The world has sucked so much out of all of us for different reasons. And I'll tell you this, the self love adventure has just been like wind in my sails. It's been like the the jam inserted into the doughnut. No. It just really feels So yummy.

Oh my god, thank you. Thank you. It's so funny because like, you know, my intention is obviously or maybe it's not obvious My intention is not to create some kind of roving advertisement for the self love adventure, but more to understand what brought you to it. And I think there are a lot of women like you and I out there who have had exact experience, we have the books, the shelves of books, the self help books, we've read it, we follow the people, we do the things and, and yet there seems to be like there's something missing. And, and I'm not saying that the self love adventurer fixes a person's life. But you know it, the opportunity to create that awareness, actually notice your inner critic, and then work on befriending her is a big piece of it. But what I love is that, you know, earlier you and I were talking about, it's not an easy journey, because you start to see some of these layers and you're like, oh, fuck, yeah. Some of this is habits. Some of this is comfort, and sometimes I take comfort in the shit, what is this about?

I think that I've just noticed that. I mean, after years and years of read, like you say, reading all the self help books and all of it everything. And then now to be able to just say, look, I see that I, I'm not stepping in and doing those habitual healthy things each day, like, get up and go to the gym downstairs and go on the treadmill for 10 minutes. Like, it's 10 minutes. It's a small goal. It's a wonderful, easy goal. I've got a TV down there, I'll watch my show and binge while I walk, like I've set up all of this awesome connection for myself. And yet, when I don't do it, you know, there's two paths you can take. There's the mental path that says that I've probably done all these years, which is, oh, you're not good enough, you. You can't even do it. It's that harsh critic that Deja. And then there's the other path where it's like, oh, look at that. Wow, I wonder why I'm not going down there. I kind of want to, but I don't want to what's that about? So even just being able to speak to you today about it without losing my shit. falling apart means that I'm integrating it at a new level. And I really think that like every other week, when we get together on the collective, and we talk with each other, I mean, that in itself just is gives me such pleasure to see that I can a be accepted by others who I don't even know complete strangers, and that we all sort of are saying something in the same vein, even though they're different words, but we all can relate. And it's, it's just it, it allows, it allows me to feel accepted in my own skin in a way that I haven't before. I don't I can't put words to it, it is just magic.

Thank you, I, Jen, the magic that I experienced someone Collective is something I could never have even dreamed. You know, the self love adventure. As you know, you get the workbook and you have the lessons or the daily messages that you can choose to listen to or not. And, and it's interesting, because I know the reason I decided to do it for 90 days since because I want it to consistently show up in someone's life for enough time that they're reminded not to let go of their worth. Right? That's why 90 days because because we all start things I've done 1,000,021 day challenges myself and at the end of that 21 days I'm fucking out

Yeah, I hear you.

But this is life and I don't want I don't I don't want it to be any fucking harder than it has to be.

Yeah.

Right. And

what I love is that I can go in and I can access the like the daily messages that you have, and I can access them again and again. If I miss some time then I go back and I like binge watch you like a show. I love it. But it's but you're right like the intention is ever Every day and so if I'm not able to write in the journal, I will listen to you on the car ride to work. If I miss listening to you, then I, you know, might journal at like one time at work I journaled on a piece of scrap paper. So I didn't have the, you know, your your workbook in front of me, but I remembered that it was something that felt nourishing that was early on. And so I love the flexibility of that. And going back and seeing sort of all the different things like I swear, I don't know, how you organized all the different topics for the week. But every topic just it's like, I needed to hear those messages that week. How did you even know? My life? You know, it's like you say that driftwood that coming together of what is so powerful is an easy, it is super easy. So then I didn't feel bad, I still don't feel bad. Even though I've missed a few already lately. I went back and have done them now this week. And they they still land, you know. So I'm makin through my own way, until I can get to a place that feels nourishing for where I sit today. And that's good. That's okay. I'm more accepting of myself. It's unbelievable. So

Jen nuts. That's the magic. Like what you just described, like I, the the magic is, is just in, in that trusting yourself enough to do what you need to do and what you want to do and what serves your highest good. Right. And like, if that doesn't mean watching all the videos, who fucking cares? They're there. If at some point you're inspired, if it means you're not journaling everyday, who fucking cares? You know, life is not a mirror. Sorry, life is not a race. It's a marathon, right? It's not a sprint. It's a it's showing up. It's continuing to go. And what's amazing for me, like I feel so much incredible honor to be able to share space with you. And you talk about this, because we're coming to the close of the first 90 Day self love adventure. And you've been on it for 90 days, almost. Yeah. And I know that that it can be scary. The thought of it. First of all, self love is not fucking sexy. Let's be straight about that. Greed. Right? Like self love isn't sexy. Because we as a society think that self love means being selfish. And if you are, if you love yourself, and you're being selfish, it means you're taking yourself away from other people and potentially hurting them. So even coming to a place of, of wanting to, to even invest in oneself for self love adventure sounds like, Well, why fucking bother? Because it's just going to disrupt everybody. And I don't have time anyway. Right? So even just getting to that space, it does even get into that space takes courage, it says, being able to have the awareness of being ready for something different. And that's something different. It was so important to me that that's something different. Be gentle. Yeah. Right. Because, like, I don't know about you my love, but I have worked with personal trainers and I have worked with dieticians and I have worked with therapists and I have worked with lots of different people in ways that felt not with my current therapist, but historic therapists in lots of ways that felt like I was being so pushed out of my comfort zone that it didn't just hurt but that it felt counterintuitive. Mm hmm.

And then yeah, I I agree with you. Historically, there are times where you're you're with the trainer or with the therapist and they're they're edging you towards this this cliff if you will, where it feels really unsafe and then you think well it must be safe because I'm with these people who are trained to be safe in training my body or my diet or whatever. And and yet everything with inside you is saying no, this isn't safe, or whatever. The self love adventure to me is you know it's funny. Even like in the in the daily In the daily journals and in the room, the reflection, it's all about coming back to your own voice, and your own awareness or impression of how that day went or how you are in that day. And it's like you're your own trainer, or your own therapist, or your own nutritionist and you're, you're able to be not pushing yourself over any cliff or any edge, you're able to just live in where you're at that day, and honor and love you for who you are. And gosh, you're right, like 2020 days, 40 days, like, here we are 90 days, just about and it's no wonder that I can feel a little bit icky about certain things and not beat myself up so much. You know, I feel it. I'm aware of it. But it's just kind of it's not part of me, it's just sitting over there and I can see it for what it is instead of internalize it. It's pretty fucking phenomenal. What's going on here, I love the self love adventure.

Oh my god, I love you. Okay, so part of the self love adventure asks you to identify three things you love about yourself every day. And I saw the reaction on your face. Because I know that that's hard for a lot of people. And I gotta tell you, when I created this, putting this in there was so hard for me

really

so hard, like, for me to be in a space where I could say three things that I liked about myself felt completely out of the realm of possibility. Thinking it I might be able to come up with a couple. But then committing to writing down three things every day, was like, that's an it was a stretch out of my comfort zone every fucking day. Which by the way, today is day number. And I'm just gonna look because this is interesting, because I've been keeping track since the first day I started. Gosh, and I am on day 437. So, but just so we're clear, I have missed days. Yeah, but I'm on day 437. So now I can say that identifying three things I love about myself is a little bit easier. How was it for you?

It's definitely easier than when I first started. It's because I'm looking for the positive things that I love about myself as opposed to trying to, like the freedom in it is it's no one's gonna see it. I guess that's the beautiful thing that I love about this workbook is that it's just me. And so it's, it's no skin off anyone's nose. If I just write down what I love about myself, it's okay for me to brag. That feeling because we're not allowed to it seems in our world very often. Or if we do, there's certain labels that are placed on us for being proud of what we're good at or how we feel. So, like, I'm not I have no problem. I mean, I cringed a little because, you know, it is that question that makes you go right back to elementary school like, Oh, it's a test, but it isn't it isn't. But I I can say like, I am proud of myself. I feel really great. I'm good at being a great listener. I am good at being joyful and playful. i Today, I am proud that I have a lot of courage for coming on here with you. I mean, yeah, I can do things that maybe historically I would never have dreamed I would do.

And, and see and just like that you were able to list three things that you liked about yourself, just like that. And that's what makes this important to me. That's what makes this really special. And I don't have a hot fucking clue where this is going. I'm going to be honest, like the self love adventure was kind of born out of I don't even know why it was it was born. It was born at a time that it was meant to be born and it's been. It's arriving at the time it's meant to arrive for the people it's meant to arrive for but selfishly and I'm going to be selfish here. I'm gonna be super fucking selfish, selfishly. What it did for me He is great. It's wonderful. I'm happy. I'm grateful. Don't get me wrong. But when I hear you be able to lean into the things that you love about yourself. It like that's where the that's where like that magic really, really is. Because I, because I didn't do sweep buckle, I did nothing. I gave you some materials and some stuff to listen to. And then you chose to show up for yourself. And in those small, gentle, beautiful ways you've embraced that courage. And you're here right now.

Yeah, it feels really yummy. It feels really good. I just like I said, it's it this whole time. Just it's like, just slowly but surely it's landing differently. And so I can I honestly can say those things and feel them from within, they come from within, they aren't just things I have to pick out and say, because I think it would sound nice. So yeah, I I'm so honored and thankful that I found you and This program. Yeah, that and the community in it. It's just like the people like I, it's unbelievable that you can connect with people that you don't know, from. Like, you don't have a hot clue about and you see yourself, I see myself in the other people in just little ways that they speak about themselves, that they're probably unconsciously aware of. And I go, Oh, I speak about myself that way. Or, Oh, I've said that comment to other people when I'm encouraging them, and look at them. Not saying it about themselves, but they could Oh, I could say that about myself, like I start to make the connections. It's unreal.

So what you're talking about is the bi weekly collective meetings and the bi weekly connect collective meetings are powerful beyond words, we come together, I don't have, I always have a backup agenda, I always have a backup topic that we could potentially go into if everyone for some reason set with silence and crickets. But that's your spec. It's never happened. And it's magical, because whoever shows up, the conversation flows. And everyone seems to be able to relate and share and take something from someone's experiences, to rich in their own experience of living. And what what the magic that I observe in it, and that misses something that I could never have imagined in a million years, really is that we hold space for one another in a way that simply honors being there. There is it's like, it's like there's a code that says I see you, I hear you. I'm here for you. I love you. And at the exact same time as having that code for all of the others. It's an invitation to have that code for ourselves. And Kristin Neff talks about common humanity, right. And common humanity being one of the hugest connectors in self compassion and, and really fostering self compassion comes from that place of seeing that we're all humans having human experiences. And that collective just brings that community gather in such an amazing way. And that common humanity is what I think if we were like to try and dissect it, it's that common humanity that creates that space of personal growth through that unbelievable connection.

I agree. I it's it's really quite, I don't know mystical, powerful magical that. I mean, you know, there's there's groups all over the world getting together on Days and having collectives if you will, about x topic or y topic and so, you know, that is I think pretty. People feel fairly comfortable jumping into zoom meetings and things like that. that, that there's something different that where we all are just Yeah, it's an underlying piece where, when I, when I want to speak I often ramble. But it's how I process and the people in the collective, my friends, I will say now in my in the collective, make me feel heard, they make me feel safe to be able to just speak on whatever it is that's coming out. And then they capture some sort of thread that I can't even see about myself. Like, I remember early on, there was something that I had was rambling about, and I was feeling quite anxious and things about a topic and, and someone jumped in and said, You know, I, I heard you, I heard you say something about happiness, or whatever, and you know, what, you are happy, I could hear it in your words, and I went what, or something like that. And it just floored me that I actually was speaking in a way that I didn't feel. And I went, Oh, and so ever since then I start to like, listen to what I say. And try to find my own thread because someone in the collective had enough love and grace to share back what they experienced. And we do that in the in this group, it's unreal. And we're strangers, let's not kid ourselves, we're strangers until we're friends in there. You know, it's beautiful. And, and there's a safety in it, where they're not our colleague, they're not our neighbor, they're not our family member, they're not our spouse, there's they're a safe group of people who who will love and mentor us in the ways that we wish we could love and mentor ourselves. And so until we can get there the collective provides that for all of us back and forth it's pretty pretty special pretty damn special.

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I'm I am just really working to absorb this. I really am because the collective is created by you the collective is created by the people who decide to show up on a Sunday morning. And, and in the collective also extends to the Facebook group of course but but the magic I think does happen on those those Sunday mornings when we we meet and we get together. One of the things that I marvel at is that you know, it's I have made the choice to put myself in a vulnerable place by doing the podcast by putting this out there too. And it's always from a place of love and light. Right You know, one of the things that I love about myself is that I am love and light that is who I am and and it always comes from that place. And so when I hear the impact that it's had for you I'm honored I really truly am honored because I I love that you trust yourself enough to lean into this in the ways that are right for you at the pace that is right for you. In the space that is right for you. And listen to yourself right what what better fucking thing could we possibly ever ask of life than to actually grow some fucking awareness right because especially if we're in lives that we're we're in service to others all the time. Right to actually just take a minute and and start building some awareness for and with ourselves. Scary as fuck I get it because sometimes it's like oh my god these are things I'm not ready to learn about myself right now. I get it but at the same time if not now then fucking when? Yeah,

exactly. Yeah, I just it doesn't feel selfish to put my needs first. And first doesn't mean that I have to neglect anything else either. It just means it's the non negotiable it's the whatever brushing teeth, it's the eating breakfast, it's putting on the shoes, it's doing the whatever it is that I can do that day. Even if it's just I see that the email has come through. And I just see the topic. That's enough for me sometimes to just mull over that word all day long that. Yeah. And you're right. If not now, when? It's been the best thing I've ever done for myself. In all the 49 years I've had

Oh my God. Now that sounds like pressure sisters seriously? Oh, no, no, no, no. It's, it's,

it's just really been easy and special.

I'm so grateful that you've been part of the challenge. Challenge where the fact that the word challenge come from

that word. Yeah, I get it it. But yeah, so challenge is, to me one of those words, it's like a double sided coin, it can mean negative. And it can also mean positive. So when you said that just now I fought positive. Like it's a challenge to challenge our own voice that we the tape in our lives that might have always set it a certain way that isn't necessarily true. So challenge that in ourselves. That's how I heard it.

Oh, isn't that interesting? Because I was so intentional not to call it the 90 day challenge, but to name it the 90 day adventure, because, for me, challenge speaks to competition. And it speaks to perfection. But that's my own story. Right. And I would rather approach it as if this is an adventure. Let's see what comes today. Let's see what comes tomorrow. Let's see what we discover along the way. And let's see what we might have noticed that we never had the chance to notice because we weren't here.

You know what, I love that you were intentional about calling it an adventure because it is felt exactly that it's felt very adventurous and freedom like and joyful. And and I don't think that if we were talking on day one of, of the self love adventure, right now. And we said the word challenge, I would have thought exactly that. Here we are near the end. And it's it's just a massaging of the way we perceive our lives. And now I I perceive that word without even realizing it in a way that is like, Ah, look at it a different way, as opposed to be perfectionist. That's that's pretty big ship for someone like me who is, you know, the best perfectionist around?

Right? Well, yeah, it's a Shift. Shift to like, gentle from to gentle awareness. Yeah, from deja jumping in and beating the shit out of you because you're not doing it perfectly. So interesting. It also affirms it also affirms that adventure is the right word.

It has been very fun. I will say like, when life is big, I can come to this little sacred space of adventure and feel this tiny little morsel of nourishment that isn't demanding of anything other than me listening to myself, you know?

Have you seen it spill out into the rest of your life?

I have I you know, I've been well first I've been more accepting and noticing of my own things like we've talked about already, about how I just can have grace with my own feelings of whatever laziness or whatever I want to judge myself for and then I just noticed it more now. And it spilled over even into my relationship with my husband. So that in the past I would have you know, 3060 90 days ago might have been annoyed about a certain thing now I just, I smile and I kind of I I think of him as a little boy like going through the motions with something or I think of him with grace and love because he's been working 12 hour shifts for how many days and so there's there's a little more grace that I'm able to give the world because I see it already in myself. Okay, so, um, yeah.

I really appreciate you sharing that because I know that for me, my experience has been that you the expression of grace and gratitude and building trust with myself has been a process of also then having that spill over into most of the relationships in my life. And also evaluate some of the relationships in my life in the process as well, right, because we become a little bit more clear about who we are as we go through. But the beautiful thing that I, that I see is, and this is what I really noticed, and I don't know if you have this awareness when you started the self love adventure, I remember having a conversation with you. And you said to me, Tanya, I've tried everything. I've read all the books on the self help junkie, why the fuck would this be different? You said that to me. Yeah, but then you also said, but I'm not giving up and I'm not going to stop trying. So here I am.

So true, I the one thing I think I didn't try was to look within and love myself for where I'm at. And this self love adventure gives gives me that it allows me to enter in it the day that I'm at. Happy, sad, aggressive, woke up on the wrong side of the bed, whatever, and find the joy and the positive things in that moment. And, you know, I love to read. So the emails that come into my inbox, I can read. I love to connect with people. So I your videos, I get to feel like I'm having a personal conversation with you every time. It's brilliant. And, and then the workbook. I mean, I'm a teacher, I love the journaling. I love the colorful pens. I mean, it totally fills that bucket too. So it's, it's been wonderful.

It really has been wonderful. It really has been wonderful. I've been it's, I'm so grateful to have you be a part of this adventure. And I know that that this is the beginning, not the end, like this is that's the beautiful thing. If if someone said I don't have time for the self love adventure, but I don't have time for because you just described an email a video journaling, like, people are like, Oh my god, like suddenly two hours to fucking adventure and I can't even get my laundry done or like, you know, get through the drive thru? Do you know what I'm saying? Like? Like, realistically be really honest. What kind of time do you experience in this? Like, I really,

I probably am like, I love you to bits. But I probably spend five minutes a day ish. With the adventure I do, because it's so quick. So, you know, it doesn't mean I'm doing all the things all at the same time. It you know, if I'm, like I said, listening to the video, as I'm driving to work, or, you know, I'm, I've got my journal out, and I don't have time for the video, and I'm doing the journal and I'm jotting down while I'm having a cup of coffee. Or I you know, the morning is rushed and so then I just do all of it in the evening. Which all of it might be like so five, seven minutes, you know, just thinking about my own day and it's it's quite healing and easy there. It's not like any work at all. It's it's kind of fun to just be able to think about your own day and and write something joyful and get a colorful pen. It always helps.

Oh, I totally agree. Purple is my pen of choice. You do? Is it? Yes. Oh yeah. Purple pens. I probably have a pencil case about eight different kinds of purple right now. Actually. Love it. Purple pens, purple pens. Okay, so Oh, I'm going off in million directions because this this conversation could go on forever because I absolutely love you. But seriously, thank you for for being really truly honest about like, how much time it takes and how you choose to use it because I wanted it to be flexible for your life. I don't want it to fit like in theory, you would I you know people on the self love adventure would reflect in Good evening, and then you know, do the love letter in the morning. But in reality, that's not how life works. I personally do everything in the morning, because that works best for me, but I want it to work for you. And that you've found the way that works for you is the most important piece, right? The other thing that I want to say is this, you talked about reflecting and finding the joy. And so I totally agree, I totally agree that you're encouraged to find the joy, but also to be able to be honest with yourself when stuff is shit, right? Like, are there days when you look back. And when you think back where you've been honest with yourself and said this was a shitty day and maybe even rated it as a one or

a two, you know, I will I'll be credibly honest. I never want any of that to be written down where it's could be seen again with my own eyes. So at the beginning of the self love adventure, I, I would never admit to myself. So like in the first couple of weeks, I might say, Oh, it's a three because the three is acceptable or whatever, if that was my scale, in my mind. But as I've gone on, to be honest, like I had a really tough couple of days, these last couple of days. And I just felt like, I don't know. So I just wrote in my journal that I had a really crappy day, and I don't know why and it's alright. And so that growth that I can write that actually meant everything because to me, I'm gonna try not to get super emotional. But life to me is, is like this up and down. And it will always be like that. And my whole life I have felt for some reason that I was I'm wrong and bad because this is happening. And if I could just figure out whatever that little trick is, so that I'm always here. Right?

Good. Consistent. Yeah. And,

yes. Okay. And so the fact that I can write down when I have a crummy day, and my wheels don't fall off means the world to me, it means the world to me, because this is what everybody's life is like, no one the problem with social media is that everyone puts up this way up here like look how great I am.

Oh, the happy shiny bullshit.

And even when they've like had a little misstep, it's like oh, look at Haha, I haven't missed up yay. That's not really the truth how people feel when they have any kind of something. So the fact that I can admit it to myself in my journal or just in my day and not fall apart like I'm wrong or bad is Tonya it. You have no idea. You have no idea how. How much relief that is bringing me every day that I can just be who I am. warts and all, if you will, and it's all good. I'm great as I am. And if you don't accept it, then fuck you.

See you later. Bye. You. back you see you later bye.

To admit it to myself first, I think is like the biggest thing I've noticed. Because I can still hear the tape like like life is not going to be my tapes that I've been telling myself for years are not going to be undone after 90 days. But what I've noticed is just being exposed having the self love adventure and all these little pieces whenever they can come in and fit into my life. Having those into my life and being exposed to those and rubbing up against those has helped me be way more gentle with myself way more graceful with myself and therefore, like we talked about spilling out into other relationships that I have personal and professional. Such that when I have a day that's a little bit like me it's just a day. You know, like this roller coaster, if you will, or this little highs and lows is it's an adventure. It is the adventure that we all are on and I'm excited for even when I'm down here and it's been a myth day. I'm excited because it's part of the adventure roller coaster I'm on. So thank you.

Thank you my love. Thank you my love because you The way you described the roller coaster, if you will, or the ups and downs, we all experience it. And so I think we all, we all, like strive for that happy place all the time. But that's not fucking life. But when you can give yourself the grace and the space and the recognition, when things are low, when you can trust yourself, to actually acknowledge what you really experiencing? Yeah. Like, what you described about that first two weeks not being able to, you know, for example, rate your day less than a three or have that experience of leaning in and seeing and then being able to put it on paper. Yeah, that is a really huge act of trust. I can tell you that for years, on various different diets on various different programs, I would make plans, and I would make a plan. That would be like, perfect, like, anybody who looked at that plan would be like, Tanya is amazing. And then I would even assess it. And I would lie to myself, I would lie to myself and making the plan. And I would lie to myself in the assessment, even if nobody saw it, because I wasn't willing to just be honest with myself about where I was. And in doing that, I continued to break down that trust in myself. Yeah, so what you're describing, you know, bad experience, you had that first couple of weeks chin. So normal. I think that that it only happened for a couple of weeks is freaking a testament to how much work you've done with yourself and how much time you've spent honoring yourself. Because being able to be honest with yourself in that way, I get it. It's hard for some people. It's really hard. But it's not showing up.

Well, it's okay, that it's hard. I can see that now. That hard stuff is okay. It's not bad. It's not wrong. It's not. I'm not being punished for something, you know, Dasia isn't there telling me how bad it is, I it's just what it is. It's just more an experience. Or at least I'm telling myself that more and more I can feel my body, accepting that more and more as my reality it is what it is, I'm just having a day where I just don't have as much energy. It's not even a bad day, it's not an off day, it's just a day that I don't have as much energy as I have in other days, say so even just the way I speak to myself is more neutral than it is judgmental. And it's it's a process, it's a lifelong process. Because we're language beings, we have the ability to language the shit out of one another and ourselves.

Who are the worst at it fucking smart women, women like you who have self awareness who have the books, who, you know, are in helping professions who are in all these spaces and have all the fucking awareness like, like, that's you, girl.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's great to be able to know that. It just is what it is. And I'm in the adventure for myself, and it's beautiful.

You are a beautiful human. Jen. This has been amazing. I'm so grateful that you were open to talking, we had a plan to talk about something entirely different. And it didn't happen. And that's okay. Because this has been an amazing conversation. And I really do believe it's going to land on the hearts of a lot of our listeners.

I agree I can't wait to see who else takes the time for themselves and joins the self love adventure because it's just been it's continues to be just an amazing place. And I'm so looking forward to meeting new people.

I have a question for you. If you if someone reached out to you, or if someone's listening to this and they said, like really? Like, is this been an infomercial for the self love adventure? What the fuck is this? Because I'm just being really honest, I don't want this to be an infomercial. Like this was an opportunity for me to understand your experience of it and what it's been for you. If someone was considering enrolling in the self love adventure, what would you say to them?

I would say that it is well there are no pennies anymore, but I would say it's like pennies a day towards your own love. I mean, personally for me, I was in a really icky place when the universe brought me Tonya through I don't even know. I can't even remember how it all landed. But it just if you're open to things and there was Just a niggling inside that felt right to kind of connect and no infomercial at all just really the connection. That's the word I have that there was some sort of feeling of deep connection before I even ever had connection. I can't explain it, it the words landed right? The feeling was right. The ease of the program, that I didn't even know what it was gonna be like. You are just such a joy to be around and you're open and honest. You're just an honest human fucking being like

what does one say to that? Thank you, you talking. So candidly about your own experience has really been such a gift. I know that a lot of our listeners are going to resonate with us. So one more time from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for sharing yourself to our listeners. Come join the collective and get to know Jen in your own real time. Join the self love adventure and see this beautiful face in person and get to know her spirit as well as the spirits of so many other amazing women from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for listening. I love you