Today I talk about challenges of creative blocks and the journey to rediscovering our voices. I share my recent struggles with overthinking and self-doubt, questioning the purpose of this podcast and what direction it should take. But through this reflection, I've come to embrace the idea that this show is essentially my personal journal, capturing my day-to-day life and thoughts. Alongside these introspections, I also chat about my recent Black Friday splurges, including some irresistible deals that I couldn't pass up, highlighting the joys and quirks of consumerism. So, let's explore how we can navigate these creative hurdles while finding joy in the little things, all while keeping it light and fun.

The latest podcast episode dives into the chaotic yet creatively fulfilling journey of the host, who recently faced a creative block that left him questioning the purpose of his show. We explore the highs and lows of his creative process as he reflects on the expectations of modern podcasting versus the authenticity of personal storytelling. The host opens up about his struggles to produce content that feels genuine rather than falling into the trap of algorithm-driven mainstream media. He shares his thoughts on how this pressure can stifle creativity, leading to overthinking and self-doubt. Yet, through candid anecdotes and a light-hearted tone, he reveals how he navigates these challenges, ultimately embracing the essence of his podcast as a personal journal.

As we delve deeper into the episode, we also discuss the festive chaos of Black Friday shopping, which serves as both a metaphor for excess and a moment of clarity for the host. He humorously recounts his impulsive purchases, including a robot vacuum that brings unexpected joy to his daily routine. This light-hearted segment contrasts with his earlier reflections on creativity, showcasing how everyday life can inspire and distract in equal measure. By the end of the episode, listeners are left with a sense of camaraderie, as the host acknowledges the universal struggles of balancing personal expression with societal expectations, all while maintaining a sprinkle of humor and relatability throughout.

Takeaways:

• In this episode, we dive deep into the challenge of creative blocks and how to overcome them while podcasting.
• I candidly share my experiences with self-doubt regarding the content I create for this podcast and its purpose.
• We discuss the impact of mainstream content consumption on our creativity and how it shapes our podcasting journey.
• I reflect on the importance of acknowledging seasonal changes in our lives and how they influence our mood and productivity.
• This episode also touches on my recent Black Friday purchases and the joy they brought, despite overspending.
• Finally, we explore the idea of podcasting as a personal journal and the value of uncurated content in today's media landscape.

Links referenced in this episode:

• archive.org
• hostinger.com
• Unreal Engine Diaries (my other podcast)

Contact me at

podcasting tips, overcoming creative block, personal journal podcast, Black Friday deals, parenting podcast, audio journaling, podcasting journey, Berlin podcasting, digital content creation, single dad experiences, Unreal Engine projects, podcast website setup, maintaining podcast quality, mindfulness in podcasting, podcasting without monetization, DIY podcasting, creative challenges, seasonal reflections, family activities, self-expression through podcasting

Hello, you.

Thank you for tuning in.

This is another episode, another installment of this wacky, hard to define podcast.

It's not really hard to define for me, but it is hard to define when it comes to today's mainstream standards of podcasting.

I'll talk about it today.

In fact, this is one of the main topics for today's episode.

I had a bit of a setback in the recent days.

I've been recording a couple of times, but I would always have doubts whether what I recorded was suitable.

And I was reflecting on that a lot and I was thinking, well, what is it that I actually have to say?

What is this episode?

What is this podcast about?

Where is all going?

So, yeah, we'll talk about that.

We'll talk about how I recovered from this creative block, and I will talk to you a little bit about some of the Black Friday deals that I came across and I couldn't, in fact, resist.

And, yeah, that's.

That's pretty much this episode in a nutshell.

I'm gonna make one more note here.

Okay, done.

Because we are, in fact, working with notes today, as I was trying to improve the quality of this, of this show, I decided to implement some notes.

That's right.

It's.

It's Sunday today.

It's rather gloomy gray day, but there are no surprises here and no disappointments.

It's kind of what we have at this time of the year.

And the trick every year is to acknowledge that, to remember that this is exactly what happens every year.

And yeah, accept.

Accept that that's what's going to be until March.

But who knows?

Who knows?

It's all changing.

It seems to be always different.

It seems like contradicting pieces of news about the warmest summer, the coldest winter, that there are only two seasons.

When I look out through the window, I. I kind of see all the seasons from what I'm sitting.

We had a very nice autumn this year.

Trees were quite nice and golden for quite some time.

And now I see actually mostly green.

But maybe this is because of kinds of trees and plants I happen to have outside of my window.

So, no, no major disappointment.

It's just not the.

Not the most joyful part of the year.

Like I said today, Sunday, yesterday, on Saturday, we stayed at home for the whole duration of the day.

I didn't leave this space at all.

And I kind of often look forward to that kind of attitude.

Discipline, maybe.

Sometimes I say to myself, today, I'm not going until I do this and that.

I try to be very pragmatic about my goals.

And I see going out for any reason whatsoever as a distraction, as a detour.

And oh man, those days.

I have many goals and many, many objectives.

And as many of us, we tend to tie those goals into duration of the entire year.

Today is the 30th of November.

So we've got one more month, the last month, which is kind of tricky, kind of fast pacing month, full of events that maybe, you know, those events pull us in.

And sometimes we don't really have much control over how time is spent.

It can be quite frustrating.

But it's also mostly joyful time of the year.

I know there might.

There might be some exceptions, it might be a particularly sad and depressing time of the year, but I think, I really believe it's really up to us how we're gonna spend it and how we gonna approach those challenges of December, both caused by social norms, tradition, the weather, lack of sunlight and so on.

Anyway, I'm based in Berlin in Germany, and the outside world is quite, quite challenging.

And that's all you can hear outside.

If, if you get into small talk when people talk about the weather, this is a very uniting topic.

People do like to complain about it as if we were in UK or Ireland, where people like to unite their frustration in their frustration and complain about the weather.

We can do it here as well because we really have reasons for that.

Well, enough.

Enough about the weather and let's focus on life at hand this weekend.

I said we.

I'm.

I'm with my daughter this week.

This weekend in fact, only.

But it really feels like the whole week, I'm very proud to admit.

She is in the separate room where she's occupying herself with coloring and listening to some audiobooks.

It really brings me joy because she's now seven and for so many years she would require a lot of supervision and inspiration and she wouldn't be able to play alone for longer than 20 minutes.

Now I am experiencing those moments when she's really in her world.

I'm providing her with some printed coloring pages and she's coloring her favorite characters.

She's coming up with really psychedelic themes for those pages.

She's implementing a lot of colors, she's modding characters, and she's really creating entirely different realities from what the author of that illustration had in mind for sure.

So I always like to see her dive into her world and come back with those incredible drawings.

Now, I don't know for how long will I be able to indulge in this silence here?

Maybe not for long.

She may come out in a minute to announce something, to share something, which is, which is fine by me and hope it's fine by you as well.

Now I, I'm recording today and I have to admit it's going rather well, but I did have a bit of a hold up, I did have bit of creative block.

When I looked at my schedule, I, I saw that I was supposed to release an episode two days ago.

That didn't happen because I, I feel like I was overthinking and I was being over, over critical about what I do, how I do it, what this podcast is about, Is it a waste of time and money instead of just relaxing and accepting that this is kind of what I want to say and do you know, part of the problem is being a consumer of mainstream Internet content.

And I know we like to feel like we are really independent when we go on YouTube and we find our special channels and our favorite YouTubers, but the reality is we are really following the, those mainstream paths that are paved by algorithms and some of those creators have so much stamina to produce regularly and to produce really high quality stuff.

But in fact we are really funneled into specific categories of content and these contents tend to be very pragmatic, very subject oriented.

And I don't think there is many YouTube channels that are kind of about anything that have this label of personal journals.

There are, there are some channels and videos for sure.

There are those videos that show that sort of day in life.

And maybe, maybe that's how we call it these days.

Maybe this is a day in life category of podcasting.

And I tend to think about it as, as a personal journal, but that's maybe a very outdated term.

So yeah, I've, I've looked at a couple of recent episodes and I realized that in my case this has been really a fluff.

And I don't, I'm constantly losing the point what this episode, what this podcast should be about.

But then I'm realizing it really is what it is.

It is my day in life personal journal and that's what it's going to be.

And on top of that, I want to announce that I established two other podcasts which may seem like the least preferable thing I should be doing now because I'm so busy, I'm so overworked, I'm already getting into a creative block.

Why would I create two new productions?

Well, the, the reason for that is I really want to answer this dilemma and I want to have very topic specific podcasts that will Elevate the pressure from this particular podcast.

So one will be about my creative projects and it's called Unreal Engine Diaries and it's basically the dev log audio journal of my, of my work with this application.

I know you may not be totally familiar with Unreal Engine, but this is, it's, it's definitely one of the most powerful, impressive, totally incredible applications to create games and movies and special effects.

And I'm deep into this idea of creating my, my own 3D work.

I'm with it for the last two years.

I haven't really produced much, but I've learned a whole lot and I'm really intending to, to put some content out finally, even before the year is over.

Of course there isn't much time, but the purpose of this new podcast is Unreal Engine Diaries or Diary is to document and to keep myself accountable.

But I also want to share my frustrations, my fascinations, my inspirations regarding what I do.

The other podcast is about parenting and I'm a little bit on the fence whether I should do it because I've, I've created such podcasts before and I.

After three episodes I end up being very disappointed because I, I felt like I over shared.

I'm a single dad in a way that I'm, I'm co parenting, but I'm no longer in relationship with, with the mother of the, of the child.

And it's, it's a very difficult space to be in because I definitely want to communicate and brainstorm some of the concepts, some of the problems, but I don't want to overshare.

So I'm kind of restarting this project and I'll see how it goes.

I won't be promoting it right now, but if you're into this topic at all, I encourage you to stay tuned and maybe as time goes by, I'll add the link because the name itself is also.

It's work in progress.

Okay.

And so it's not going to be about being a single parent, although this will be the main focus, you know, kind of attracting specific niche over here.

So yeah, we, we will end up having three podcasts with no listeners.

I hope this will change because I am approaching this very seriously this time and to the point where I'm even setting up a website right now.

It's maybe the next topic we'll be getting into.

There's a bunch of Black Friday deals and one of them was hosting web hosting from a hostinger hosting provider that I've heard about before.

I wasn't really compelled about their offer.

But this, this offer was not to be missed.

They, they're offering currently a wonderful deal of 100 British pounds for four years of hosting and, and domain and I'm entitled to have three WordPress site in that deal.

So I, I got the deal yesterday and yeah, I should really set something up, something very simple and I'll be working on it as time goes by.

Idea, in fact is to have one website for my podcasting projects, sort of one page for all of those different categories.

And who knows, maybe there will be more as time goes by.

In fact, I would love to have multiple podcasts and perhaps even record daily for each one of them.

You know, there would be a way to escape the boredom and to always jump into entirely different podcasting universe.

So that's one website and the other WordPress site is something I've been, I guess what I had before, but also something I'm looking forward to setting up again is my creative work portfolio.

So a bit of a 3D work, a bit of UX, UI illustration, print design, branding and so on.

So very big page presenting my work thus far and also sort of putting myself out there to be less hidden, more transparent and more accessible.

Because something I'm realizing is that I'm not really getting into many opportunities lately and I'm just generally very overwhelmed with the idea of AI taking those opportunities away.

Now I can complain a lot, but unless I do something about it, unless I become more visible, I really have no right to complain that AI is taking my jobs.

So yeah, those two websites are in the making.

Like I said, there is one more entitlement for a WordPress site.

I don't really know what's going to be, but probably something cool.

Hopefully something cool for you as well.

Although, yeah, we are talking about all kinds of audiences, so who knows?

Who knows.

So on the topic of Black Friday, should I, should I keep on talking about this?

I wonder how, how, how did you do this year on Black Friday?

Did you overspend?

Because I know I did.

It was probably the most expensive Black Friday for me, but kind of deals I got were quite extraordinary and I will talk about them on my Unreal Engine Diary podcast because quite a lot of them are related to my 3D work.

But I also got this, a robot vacuum cleaner and a mop all in one sort of.

It comes with a station with water and detergent and it does wonderful work around the apartment.

I see the difference.

It was not expensive and I'm really glad with this purchase.

So I feel Like I was stalling with so many buying decisions and I was always thinking that it's just not worth it, not worth the money they are asking.

And on this special week, I kind of pulled the trigger on many postponed buying decisions.

So it's kind of interesting, Kind of interesting how it works.

Yeah, I feel quite good and proud how I handled those big expenses this year.

Okay, well, I don't think I want to discuss all of those purchases, but I just wanted to communicate how I feel about it this week.

I still don't quite understand the full incentive of companies that do that.

I feel like they participate in Black Friday to be a part of this weird movement, but ultimately aren't they, Aren't they really losing?

Because some of those deals are really, really big.

I guess there's a system in place that I have no idea about.

And maybe, maybe what I'm really proud about, those savings are just, just an illusion.

And I will end up spending a lot more as time goes by because I'm that that relationship with companies that sold me goods, and maybe I will pay with participation in services and so on.

So, last thing I want to talk about is sort of going back to this topic of.

Of seeking for.

Seeking of inspiration.

Seeking for inspiration to move on with podcasting.

I mentioned this, this concept of journaling using audio, the concept of making, making this day in the life type of production.

And I constantly struggle to find podcasts like that.

And these are podcasts I do like to listen to because they, they do take me away from my life.

I get to listen to somebody sharing their perspective and ideas.

They let you in, into their life in a very intimate way without really selling anything.

It's just really astonishing to listen to a podcast that doesn't monetize, which is, I understand why people do monetize.

You kind of need to justify time spent and you need to make it work in the long term.

If a hobby is competing with need to earn money, you need to see where your life is at and maybe to choose work, commercial work.

So I know exactly why that happens.

But money corrupts, and it also corrupts content, corrupts those beautiful hobbies and ideas.

Because then what we do, what we end up doing is not to make us happy.

It really ends up being to make our audience happy and make customers happy.

I have a big issue about that and I know what I'm saying is true and right, because whenever I go to arXiv.org this website that is a staple in many aspects of society, it's completely unknown to many, it's a repository of content, archival content from the Internet and world in general.

There are magazines, there are old websites, old content, old podcasts as well.

And you got to time travel basically.

You get to see what reality used to be like before everything moved forward and turned into slop over commercialization and so on.

I really enjoy going to archive.org and I.

My only wish is to change my habit to open archive.org instead of YouTube as a first tab that I open when I get to spend some free time in front of the computer.

I recommend archive.org to you as well because it's a incredible way to get better understanding of what, what could be communicated because what we see on YouTube on popular podcasts is not really the only way to do so.

I hope I'm making my message clear.

I kind of doubt myself because I don't really know if I'm offering anything interesting alternative to a standard podcast about something, but I feel like the stream of consciousness has some value.

And it may seem like nothing unique, but if you listen to those old stream of consciousness radio shows, for example, you get to see how much we've changed and when voice is uncurated, you really get to appreciate those unique values and factors.

Now I am a happy owner of some podcast archives that it's entirely possible that I'm the only person in possession of those episodes because I don't see them online.

And these podcasts were quite niche, quite unknown at the time, but quite prolific with really prolific speakers, prolific hosts.

One of those hosts was a gentleman called Scott Low.

He was an extraordinary experimentalist at the time in the field of podcasting.

And it was definitely my mentor and that's definitely the reason why I started to collect his shows offline on my hard drive.

And I'm so happy that I did so because those shows are no longer available online.

There's a couple of loose audio pieces here and there whenever he was performing as a, as a guest on other podcasts, but it's, it's really not representing quality of his work.

He had a lot of self doubt just I suppose the same way as I do, because he was talking a lot about talking and he was podcasting a lot about podcasting.

But as we know, podcasting has changed a lot in for the last few years, 15, 17 years.

And it's really interesting to see how people used to think about podcasting and talking, talking to the audience back in a day.

So I have no doubts anymore.

I see that stream of consciousness has a value sometimes this Value has to present itself after some time and it's not obvious initially, but I'm a big believer because I do enjoy stepping into somebody else's mind and being guided, having this guided tour in a way, how somebody else's things.

Okay, so I was A few more words about Scott Low.

I don't really want to reveal too much about him because I think he wants to remain a private person.

He's no longer publishing anything online for the last couple of years, his podcasts are offline and I, I, there's a lot of sadness in my heart because of that, because I would love to hear his perspective about all the, you know, contemporary issues like AI and technology in general.

And I reached out to him this morning, I wrote him an email sharing a level of my appreciation, the fact that I miss him online and I would love to connect.

So I hope he will respond, I hope he will want to connect and who knows, maybe he will even talk to us.

Maybe there will be room for a bit of an interview.

Like I said right now, I don't want to say too much about him, but I do want to give him a credit because he is to me definitely a pillar of podcasting that world have forgotten about.

Just give you a bit of understanding what I'm, what I'm talking about.

And it is really a combination of time and place.

Back in the day when podcasting was just starting, iTunes at the time was desperately trying to find for someone to showcase.

People were not really that open to those new technologies and ventures, but a handful of people were courageous enough to experiment with hardware and software.

And he was featured on itunes as someone to listen to, someone to follow along with Adam Carey and a couple of other sort of trail blazers who really did an amazing, very new type of work back in the day.

And this brought a lot of spotlight from unfamiliar and non obvious places because he was just talking about his life, his work, his podcasting practice and people were just listening for the joy of listening for the joy of encountering something new, this bizarre free way of speaking.

And it was just beautiful.

It was absolutely beautiful.

So like I said, he was a pioneer and I really feel like he should be given a credit every now and then so Internet does not forget about him.

So that's really all I wanted to do.

I wanted to talk about in this episode.

I will publish it as, as soon as I can because I don't want to start doubting myself whether this is worth publishing or not.

And I will rush into producing more content also for my my other podcasts and there's a website that needs to be done.

So a lot of work before the year is over and we turn into a more lazy mode and hopefully we'll all get to enjoy it.

I will speak to you in the next couple of days.

Until then, thanks for listening.

Stay warm, stay happy.