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In this episode, Mark and Joey discuss weak statements and the impact of poor communication in relationships. They emphasize the importance of slowing down, listening, and understanding your own emotions. They offer practical tools for improving communication and fostering emotional connection within relationships. Jerry shares his personal experience and takes the opportunity to express his feelings and self-reflection. The episode delves into the complexities of relationships, the consequences of not prioritizing one's partner, and the need for self-awareness and transformation.
Episode Summary:
- Toxic statements and their impact on relationships. 0:03
- Mark Santiago introduces the topic of weak statements and shares personal experiences with them.
- He invites listeners to share their experiences and encourages them to use the "number one" in the chat if they've been in a similar situation.
- Defensiveness in relationships and its impact. 2:42
- Joey discusses the dangers of "weak statements" in communication, which are accusatory and defensive responses that avoid taking ownership of one's actions.
- Mark provides examples of weak statements, such as "You always make me feel insecure" or "You never take responsibility," and encourages listeners to be more mindful of their own emotions and communication style.
- Mark Speaker reflects on their childhood experiences of feeling undefended and now defending themselves in relationships, realizing the toxic ecosystem they've created.
- Joey recognizes the defensiveness and stonewalling in their own behavior, likening it to one of the four horsemen of Dr. John Gottman, indicating the relationship's doomsday.
- Emotional regulation and empathy in relationships. 8:28
- Participants share emotions of anxiety, sadness, anger, and feeling unheard, revealing insecurities about self-awareness and identity.
- The inability to sit with one's own emotions and feelings leads to pushback and resistance in relationships.
- The lack of emotional regulation in children can be compared to a "terror" or "gremlin" when they are hungry or upset.
- Emotional intelligence and communication in relationships. 12:18
- Mark says that not dealing with internal emotions and pain can lead to coping mechanisms like blaming others, which can harm relationships and even emotionally abuse children.
- Mark shares their personal experience of being emotionally abused by their father and how it has impacted their life, highlighting the importance of self-reflection and doing the "hard work" to become empowered.
- Improving communication in marriage by slowing down and actively listening to partner.
- Improving communication in relationships. 16:47
- Joey emphasizes the importance of slowing down and truly hearing one's partner, rather than jumping to conclusions or validating lies.
- Using the "what I hear you saying" technique to process and understand one's partner's perspective, even in toxic situations.
- The importance of active listening in relationships, emphasizing the need to acknowledge and understand one's emotions.
- Mark compares men's and women's brains, suggesting that men are more logical while women are more emotionally expressive, and both need to slow down and listen to each other.
- Personal growth and self-awareness. 22:14
- Mark emphasizes the importance of personal growth and transformation through self-reflection and challenging oneself.
- The limitations of relying solely on knowledge and information, and the need for direct experience and interaction with others to truly understand oneself and others.
- Joey shares how Jerry feels hurt due to someone living with someone else, and can't go home, which makes him feel mad.
- Mark provides live coaching to Jerry on how to articulate his emotions and feelings.
- Personal responsibility and emotional expression after infidelity. 27:37
- Jerry reflects on neglecting wife, leading to affair and sadness.
- The importance of listening and asking questions in relationships, rather than just speaking.
- Jerry reflects on their own tendency to speak before thinking, and how this can lead to hurting others.
- Empowering men in relationships and life. 32:05
- Joey emphasizes importance of understanding one's own emotions before communicating with partner.
- Are you ready to stop feeling bad and gain clarity on where you want to be in life? Click the link for a personalized game plan.
- Mark encourages viewers to check out previous episodes and join the Empowered Man group for more insights and support.
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