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58. Things That Look Like Bad Parenting But Are Actually Neurodivergence
Episode 5811th November 2025 • ADHD Mums • Jane McFadden
00:00:00 00:33:48

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When a child melts down in public or refuses to eat, the world sees “bad behaviour.” But often, what looks like defiance or poor parenting is actually neurodivergence — and a family doing their best in a system that doesn’t understand them.

In this deeply validating conversation, Jane sits down with Tracey Jewel — author, advocate, and mum of a neurodivergent family — to talk about reframing “bad parenting” through a neurodiverse lens. From ARFID and sensory overload to the grief and joy of parenting differently, this episode challenges the idea of what a “good parent” looks like and celebrates authenticity over appearances.

What You’ll Hear

  • Tracey’s journey from reality TV to raising an ADHD + autistic son — and discovering her own diagnosis
  • The hidden grief of parenting a child who doesn’t fit the mould — and how to hold both love and loss at once
  • What ARFID really looks like in real life (and why it’s not just “fussy eating”)
  • Why “structure” isn’t always the solution for neurodivergent families — and when it can become oppressive
  • The difference between co-regulation and control: what actually helps during a meltdown
  • How to reframe “fairness” in families where everyone’s needs look different

This Episode Is For You If...

  • You’ve ever felt judged in public for your child’s behaviour
  • You’re raising an ADHD or autistic child and constantly second-guessing yourself
  • You’ve wondered why “routine” doesn’t work for your family the way it seems to for others
  • You’re craving a conversation that feels real, not sugar-coated

Key Takeaway

What looks like chaos is often communication. When we stop chasing “good parenting” and start embracing true connection, our families thrive in their own rhythm — even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

Resources Mentioned

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