What to Do When a Player Misses a Session

Welcome back to How to Be a Better DM, the Official Podcast of Monsters.Rent, the only rental subscription service for D&D minis.

I’m your host today, Justin Lewis, and today, you and I will talk about a topic that affects every gaming group at least once in their campaign. To be honest, it’s somewhat a thorn in my side as I personally hate when this happens. It can interupt the flow of the game and cause some confusion as far as the story goes as well. It’s a plague, and today we will find the cure…

But before we get to that, I just want to let you know that we want to hear from you, literally. We want to start featuring some listener questions or tips on the show, so go to Instagram, then go to @monsters.rent and send us a message, either audio, video or text, of a question you want answered, or a tip you have found helpful in your DMing experience. We’ll mention it on the show and also give you a quick shoutout.  We realized that you have a wealth of experience that should be shared as well. So why not share it. Again, go to @monsters.rent on Instagram and send us a message and we’ll get it up on show.

So, the plague that I was talking about earlier? It’s when a player misses a session or can’t make a particular session.

Let’s take a scenario. This is a text thread between you and your group.

DM: D&D tonight at 6. Does that work for everyone?

Alex: Yup, I can’t wait.

Sean: Of course bruh, I’ll bring the soda.

Maddy: I’ll bring snacks. Does everyone like Japanese Algae candy.

Alex: No way, that stuff’s gross.

Maddy: Alex, I saw you eat like 10 handfuls of the stuff last week.

Jerry: I’m really sorry guys, I can’t make it tonight…

The rest of the thread: stunned silence for the next 3 hours.

This is a very common situation. The reason why there is stunned silence in the text thread for the next 3 hours is because every wants to play D&D that night. Jerry is the only one not able to make it. Everyone else is wondering, “What do we do?”

That is, in part what I want to talk about today. What do you do?

First off, let’s talk about what you can do and then let’s talk about why and when you should or shouldn’t do any particular thing.

I also want to make it very clear. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to play D&D without one of your players there. It happens. Also, don’t feel guilty for rescheduling for a later time. I’ve said this before, but D&D is a hobby and other things take precedence sometimes. That said, let’s talk about your options.

Here are, as I see them your only options:

1. Reschedule the Session for a Different Time
2. Play Anyway
3. Kidnap the delinquent player, duck-tape them to a chair, wax their eyebrows off for the impertenence of missing a session, and play anyways

That’s everything you can do. That last one might be somewhat…. Hmmm I think the word is illegal… but you get what I mean.

So now that we know what can be done, let’s talk about what should be done….

Reschedule the Session

Probably the least the desirable option is to reschedule the session. This is likely the least desirable because it’s assumed that everyone in the group wants to play D&D. This is essentially making everyone suffer. I’m not bitter, I’m just stating the facts.

Sometimes though, it is the right choice.

The most common reason for a rescheduling is that multiple people in the group can’t make it. You’ll have to come up with your own hard and fast rules, but in my group, if 3 people can’t make it, then for sure we are rescheduling. If 2 people can’t make it, then it’s like 85% sure that we are rescheduling. If 1 person can’t make it, it’s 60% sure that we are rescheduling.

I would say that rescheduling, regardless of the right choice, is likely the easiest option for the DM. Everything else is somewhat more involved. 

Now, I will say, just because you reschedule DND doesn’t mean that you have to reschedule games. You could still meet up with the members of the group who can make it and play a different game or even play a one-shot. There’s nothing wrong with that. For that reason alone, rescheduling is a very powerful option when it comes to a player missing a session.

It’s also a good option because you don’t really have to make any other considerations.

So with that, let’s transition away from this option that is really the simplest and easier, and let’s make things a bit m ore complicated.

Present but Non-Participating

So, for the next few options, we are assuming that only one player is absent and that the DM and the rest of the group have decided to proceed forward regardless of their absence.

Now, you have to make a choice as the DM as to what happens to the character who, for the time being, is without a puppet-master.

The next obvious and next easiest method here is to simply have that character present, but not doing anything. Whenever roleplaying situations happen, that character doesn’t interact and just is a walking potato. 

This method might work, but more often than not, it will be comical to the other players who will ask, “What does Gregarious do in this situation” to which you’ll have to respond as the DM, “Gregarious seems zoned out and doesn’t really respond to the rest of you.”

While funny, this method sort of breaks the 4th wall, remind you and your players that this a game and decreasing the overall immersion. 

If your players are wonderful and considerate players, they may not mess around with the C (it’s just a character since the P or Player is missing).

I don’t prefer this method because it’s far too easy to just transition to one of the other methods anyways. I feel like doing it this way with the Character being present but Not-participating is just a non-decision, as if the DM couldn’t decide what to do.

Besides we all know that as soon as combat happens, it will be as if the character isn’t there or someone will take control over the, so let’s talk about the other methods because those are much more likely.

Present and Subbed

One method you can employ is the Present-And-Subbed method. In this method, you let someone else at the table take control of the character. For all intents and purposes the missing player is being “subbed” or substituted by another player at the table.

If you do go with this method, I would put a couple of stipulations on the gameplay.

First of all, I would recommend that the subbing player does not do any roleplaying for missing player. I recommend this because no one wants words put in their mouths so if you have someone playing for you there is a chance that things would be said that the original player would never say or things would not be said that the original player would say. It just gets really confusing really fast. I would just avoid it.

Next, and this actually has to apply whether you or another are controlling the missing PC, but can they die. In my games, if you are not present, your character can’t die. That’s just because I don’t trust myself or my rolls enough to keep characters alive, so if you were going to die and bleed out, you don’t because you are “on loan” and that’s just not fair. In your games, are characters whose players are gone able to die?

If they can, make sure the missing player knows that. In fact, that should be a table rule set up at the beginning of the campaign before any players are ever missing.

You also need to decide if the missing player has the right to Retcon anything when they return. In my opinion, I would opt against this except for various roleplaying aspects. When it comes to the major choices, the player shouldn’t get to choose what happens when they are gone. That said, the players controlling them shouldn’t be able to make any big decisions with them either. When a character is being subbed they should really almost just be an NPC that gets to help the party in combat. Simple.

Present and Under Control of the DM

That last option that allows the character to still remain present is controlling them yourself as the DM. In my opinion, this can be pretty simple to do, but it can also get annoying. For example, if your players use digital character sheets that you the DM can see then it gets a little easier to play the character. If they don’t then you’ll have to keep track of a sheaf of papers.

Also, the more obvious consideration is that as the DM you are controlling scores of baddies. Do you really want to be in charge of another character during combat? My general opinion is to give a player control over the character during combat at the very least depending on how many adversaries there are. If there is just one, then I’m find doing it

So if keeping a character around is so energy and focus consuming, why would anyone choose to keep the character present instead of just having them leave?

There are a few reasons. 

The first reason is that, depending on your party and table rules, the character has to be present to gain XP. That’s how it works in video games, but that may or may not be how it works at your table, for example, I prefer to just have everyone in my party level up at the same time based on story points. That’s because I don’t like math. Also, I don’t have players who leave for extended periods of time.

The second reason a DM might choose to have a character stick around while their player is not present is because they are integral to the current story at hand. This might be the same reason that you choose to reschedule the session if a player is not around, because they need to be present to make certain decisions. Having the character participate without the player is not an ideal situation but it does allow the story to move on and it makes it so the entire party isn’t just waiting on the one person.

The third reason is that it doesn’t make sense for the character to just disappear. There are different ways to make the character disappear which we’ll talk about next, but if you are in the middle of a dungeon or stuck on a speeding train, having the character just say, “Gotta go” doesn’t make sense and breaks the immersion.

Not Present

So now that we’ve talk about keeping the character present, let’s talk about having the character be absent in addition to their player.

There are in my opinion 3 ways to make this happen.

You can have the character stay behind.

You can have the character actively choose to leave.

Or you can have something else pull the character away.

When you have the character stay behind, this is simply that the party decides to go somewhere and the character decides to remain where they are waiting for the rest of the party to return. I saw a great example of this in High Rollers, the group from the UK when one of the players was not there they had her character, Nova, just stay at the inn. Obviously this worked because the party was staying at an inn in a city. If there were in the middle of a desert without food or water, having the character stay behind would be nonsense.

When you have your character leave, the character decides that another path is more important than traveling with the party, even for a short time. In the 2nd campaign of Critical Role, Yasha did this multiple times because the player had other commitments.

When you choose this method, you have to have the player or yourself come up with a logical reason as to why the character left. If the reason is, “Because I wanted to find mushrooms in the forest,” that either fits with your campaign or your character or it doesn’t. If it doesn’t, the other players will not find that a rewarding answer. 

More than anything, when a character leave the party and comes back, that should be an excellent opportunity to develop the story arc of that character, providing great roleplaying for the party when the character returns. So don’t waste it. Use it as an opportunity to have something cool happen.

How to explain why they come back?

Speaking of the character coming back, when a character leaves, you will have to decide if they will come back or not. If the character was just a temporary thing, or the player wants to have a new character then having them leave is not a bad thing. 

In most cases though, the character will come back, and that means that you and the player who was missing need to figure out a plausible reason not only for why the character leave but more importantly, why they came back and how they came back.

In some instances, it’s easy.

Nicholas Tracagious left to go commune with his deity in the forest. He came back because he was done. The only reason that specific scenario could work is because in this case, the party remained in the same city, able to move freely. If the party had been embroiled in a dungeon, then having Nick Tracagious show up would be somewhat weird, unless, his deity in the forest had shown him a specific place in the dungeons where he could special psychedelic mushrooms and the place where those mushrooms are found just so happen to coincide with where the party is. Honestly, even that scenario would seem a little too coincidental.

A quick sidenote though.

D&D is your story. That means that even though some things might seem coincidental, it isn’t because you are the weaver, tying all the threads together, weaving a great and beautiful tapestry. Was it a coincidence that Han Solo and Chewbaca were in the Mos Eisley cantina when Ben Kenobi went looking for a way off planet? Or was it the force? Was it just coincidence that Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli were all present at the Council of Rivendel or were they destined to be there. It doesn’t matter, because they were there. Sometimes I analyze things too much and fall into the trap of thinking, “What a funny coincidence that those two characters are there,” and then decide not to make that part of the story happen. In movies and stories, “coincidences” happen all the time, and honestly that might be why the stories or the movies even have a plot, because of the “coincidences”. So, I know I say that you have to make things “make sense”, and I know that I’ve been using a “lot of air quotes”, but just as long as your story is gripping and entertaining, don’t worry to much about it.

Side note over.

So, thinking about reasons why a character would return, there are a few possiblities, but obviously, if you can think it up, then it will probably work.

The simplest reason is that, like what I’ve already mentioned, the character that left finished the thing they went to do, so they came back. Simple, easy, doesn’t need much more explanation than that. 

Another simple reason is that the thing they went to do lead them back to the party anyways. This method is great if you want to tie in the reason they come back with what the party has going on right now. An example of this would be DewStar the Druid left because she had a strange vision about her communing with nature in a white glade. She leaves, finds the white glade, and while there has another vision about finding a black glade and her party. She starts her search. She finds the black glade, right as a Death Night begins attacking her party in the very black glade she saw in her vision. After the party dispatches the black glade,  DewStar discovers that at the center of the glade there is the grave of an ancient druid who’s spirit is at unrest for some reason. See, the character left and returned, both seemingly for plot points.

Another simple reason is that the missing character had their own agenda and then whatever the party was doing leads the party to the missing character. It’s somewhat similar to the previous reason, but there are slight differences. In this case, the missing character doesn’t really have any intention of returning to the party, or they intend to return much later. The party then, does the returning, surprising everyone involved.

When it comes down to it, you don’t need to make it make sense, unless you want to dwell on the fact. If you just want to gloss over that so-and-so returned from skinny dipping in a mountain lake, that’s fine. Gloss over and move on. The rest of your party will move on too, no problem. If you do want to spend time on, make sure that it’s a satisfying and fulfilling answer to the question of, “Why did you come back here and now.”

Table Rules for Communication

While we are on the subject of players missing sessions and things like that, I think it would be apropos to talk about how communication around missing sessions happen.

Here’s the truth of it: it will change on a case by case basis.

Here’s the ideal that we all strive for: Every missing player alerts the group at least a couple days in advance.

I know things don’t always pan out that way, but it’s best to alert the group as soon as you know you will be missing so the group can make decisions and plan what they will do.

For example. This previous week, I was sick. I was hoping I would feel better by the time the day of our session came around, but I wasn’t. So I texted the group that I couldn’t do it that day. On other occasions, members of our group have had conflicts and they’ve alerted us that they would be out of town a week in advance.

This allows the rest of us to decide if we will continue playing anyways or if we will hold off and wait until they get back. So really the only rule for communication is communicate early, clearly and often.

What if the Missing Player is Integral to the Story

What do you do if the missing player is integral to the story?

Here’s where I put on my Tough Love hat.

The simple fact of the matter is that you will have to decide yourself. But let me tell you that no decision is wrong. If you decide to move along with the story, that’s totally fine. In fact, maybe the player being gone will help you write a more creative story. Either way, you are the DM, you are ultimately the person with the most control over the session and whether it happens. Yes, your players may all decide to skip a week, but you get to decide if the week is skipped any time you want. Don’t forget that. Also, lord that over your players in a really jerky way. Just know that if a player is missing, and their character happens to be a big decision maker right in the center of what’s going on in the story right now, you can play without them. They may not like that, but if that’s what it takes to keep your group playing and having fun, then do it.

From sickness, to work trips, to family conflicts, our players will have lots of reasons why they may or may not be able to make the session happen. That’s probably especially true in this next month and a half as we move towards Christmas and the New Year. When your player turns up missing,...

Welcome to How to be a Better DM.

2

I'm Justin Lewis, I'm your host today, and

I'm excited to have today's conversation.

3

This is How to be a Better DM.

4

Welcome back to How to be a Better DM.

5

Now let's.

6

Welcome back to How to be a Better DM, the

official podcast of Monsters.Rent, the

7

only subscription service for D&D minis.

8

I'm your host today, Justin Lewis, and

today I'm going to talk with you about a

9

topic that affects every gaming group at

least once in their campaign, in their

10

career.

11

And to be honest, it's something that's

kind of been a thorn in my side as of

12

late, and personally I hate it when this

happens.

13

It can interrupt the flow of the game and

cause some confusion in the story as well.

14

And honestly, it's just a plague.

15

So today, let's talk about the cure.

16

Also, I am trying something new with the

music, so if it's too loud, I sincerely

17

hope it isn't.

18

I actually might change some of the volume

right now if I can.

19

And I can't.

20

Wait.

21

There, I think the volume is better now.

22

Okay, I adjusted the music, it should be

good now.

23

I adjusted the music, it should be good

now.

24

And, but before we get to the rest of the

episode, I also wanted to let you know

25

that we want to hear from you listeners.

26

Literally, actually.

27

We want to start featuring some listener

questions or tips or segments on the show.

28

So, go to Instagram.

29

You can either go to monsters.rent as the

profile or howtobetabetterdm as the

30

profile.

31

and follow us obviously, but send us a

message, either video, audio, or text, of

32

a question that you want answered, or a

question you want to answer, or a tip that

33

you have, really anything, and we'll

mention it on the show, as well as give

34

you a quick shout out, and we realize that

you, the listener, and all the listeners

35

out there, have a wealth of experience

that should be shared as well, so why not

36

share it?

37

Again, go to Instagram.

38

at Monsters.Rent or at HowToBeAvatarDM,

send us a message and we will get it up on

39

the show.

40

So the plague that I was talking about

earlier is when a player misses a session

41

or can't make a particular session.

42

Okay, to start off, let's take a quick

scenario.

43

This is a text thread between you and your

group.

44

DM, D&D tonight at six.

45

Does that work for everyone?

46

Alex, yup, I can't wait.

47

Of course, bruh.

48

I'll bring the soda.

49

Maddie, I'll bring snacks.

50

Does everyone like Japanese algae candy?

51

Alex, no way.

52

That stuff's gross.

53

Maddie, Alex, I saw you eat like 10

handfuls of the stuff last week.

54

Jerry, uh, I'm really sorry guys.

55

I can't make it tonight.

56

Obviously, the rest of the thread goes on

in stunned silence for the next three

57

hours.

58

No one responds.

59

This is a very common situation.

60

And the reason why there is a stunned

silence in the text thread for the next

61

three hours is because everybody wants to

play D&D that night.

62

Jerry is the only one not able to make it

and everyone is wondering, what do we do

63

now?

64

That is in part what I wanted to talk

about today.

65

What do you do when this happens?

66

First off, let's talk about what you can

do and then let's talk about

67

why and when you should or shouldn't do

any particular one thing.

68

I also want to make it very clear, don't

feel guilty for wanting to play D&D

69

without one of your players there.

70

It happens.

71

Also, don't feel guilty for rescheduling

for a later time.

72

I've said this before, but D&D is just a

hobby, unless it's your livelihood, but

73

other things will probably take precedence

over D&D.

74

Sometimes, at least.

75

That said though, let's talk about your

options.

76

As far as I can see, here are your only

options.

77

Number one, reschedule the session for a

different time.

78

Number two, play anyway.

79

Number three, kidnap the delinquent

player, duct tape them to the chair, wax

80

their eyebrows off for their impertinence

for missing a session, and play anyways.

81

Obviously number three isn't as practical,

but it's way more fun.

82

And since it's not as practical, we're not

gonna talk about that one.

83

It's also kind of self-explanatory.

84

So if you do that, please don't say you

got the idea from me when it comes out on

85

national television.

86

Anyways, those three, technically two

things are the only things you can do.

87

And that's what we want to talk about.

88

So now that we know what we can do, let's

talk about what you should do.

89

Number one, rescheduling the session.

90

probably the least desirable option is to

reschedule the session.

91

And it's likely the least desirable

because it's assumed that everyone in the

92

group wants to play D&D.

93

That's why they're in the group.

94

And this is exactly, this is essentially

going to make everyone suffer, right?

95

I'm not better.

96

Rescheduling is just gonna make everyone

suffer.

97

I'm not bitter, I promise.

98

I'm just stating the facts.

99

Even though I am a little bit bitter.

100

No one wants to reschedule, but sometimes

it is the right choice.

101

The most common reason for rescheduling is

that multiple people in the group can't

102

make it.

103

You're going to have to come up with your

own hard and fast rules, but in my group,

104

if three people can't make it, then for

sure we're rescheduling.

105

That's like set in stone.

106

If two people can't make it, then it's

like 85% sure that we're going to

107

reschedule and if one person can't make

it, then it's, it's still like 60 to 70%.

108

sure that we're probably going to

reschedule and that's because I don't

109

generally have a spine.

110

I would say that rescheduling, regardless

of the right choice, is likely the easiest

111

option for the DM.

112

Everything else is just a little bit more

involved, right?

113

I will say just because you reschedule D&D

doesn't mean that you have to reschedule

114

games or reschedule hanging out with your

friends.

115

You could still meet up with the members

of the group who can make it and play a

116

different game.

117

or even just play a one-shot that you come

up with on the spot or have in your back

118

pocket.

119

There's nothing wrong with that.

120

And for that reason alone, rescheduling is

a very powerful option when it comes to a

121

player being absent from a session.

122

It's also a good option because you don't

really have to make any other

123

considerations, right?

124

If you reschedule, that's that.

125

But there's obviously the other option

where you play anyway.

126

So with that, let's transition away from

this option, rescheduling that's not

127

really the funnest option.

128

but it is the simplest and it's the

easiest.

129

And let's try to make things a little bit

more complicated.

130

There's a few ways to play anyways.

131

The first one is present but

non-participating.

132

And obviously for the next few options,

we're assuming that only one player is

133

absent and that the DM and the rest of the

group have decided to proceed forward

134

regardless of the absence, right?

135

That's basic assumption.

136

Now...

137

As the DM, you have to make the choice of

what happens to the character for who,

138

for, sorry, what happens to the character

who, for the time being, is without a

139

puppet master, right, without their

player.

140

The next obvious and next easiest method

then is present and non-participating.

141

It's simply to have that character be

present but not do anything.

142

Whenever role-playing situations happen,

that character doesn't interact and is

143

basically just a walking potato.

144

This method might work, but more often

than not, it will be comical to the other

145

players who will ask, what does Gregorius

do in this situation?

146

To which you'll have to respond as the DM.

147

Gregorius seems a bit zoned out and

doesn't really respond to the rest of you.

148

While funny, this method sort of breaks

the fourth wall, and it reminds you and

149

the players that this is a game.

150

Decreasing the overall immersion also it

provides a big target on gregarious is

151

back for the other players to steal stuff

from him kind of mess around with him and

152

just kind of See what they can get away

with if your players are wonderful and

153

considerate players They might not mess

around with you know gregarious You know,

154

it's just a character, right?

155

In this case, it wouldn't even be an NPC,

it would just be a C, right, a character.

156

I guess it would be an NPC.

157

But I don't prefer this method because

it's too easy to just transition to one of

158

the other methods anyways, right, you're

just naturally gonna do it.

159

So I feel like doing it this way with a

character being present but not

160

participating is just sort of a

non-decision, as the DM doesn't really

161

decide what to do, right?

162

Besides, we all know that as soon as

combat happens, it will be as if the

163

character isn't there or

164

someone else will take control over the

character.

165

So let's just talk about the other methods

because those are probably gonna happen

166

anyways.

167

So the next method is present and subbed.

168

One method you can employ is the present

and subbed method.

169

In this method, you let someone else at

the table take control of the character.

170

For all intents and purposes, the missing

player is being subbed out or substituted

171

by another player at the table.

172

If you do go with this method, I would put

in a couple stipulations in the gameplay.

173

First of all, I would recommend that the

subbing player does not do any role

174

playing for the missing player.

175

I recommend this because no one wants

words put in their mouths.

176

So if you have someone playing for you,

there is a chance that things would be

177

said that the original player would never

say or things would be done that the

178

original player would never do.

179

or vice versa, right?

180

Things wouldn't be said or wouldn't be

done that they would do.

181

You know, it just gets really confusing

really fast and I would just avoid it.

182

Actually, I have an example.

183

My brother-in-law plays in our group and

he was gone one session and his brother

184

decided to step in and because of his

brother's choices, Drew, right?

185

Ethan is the player I'm talking about and

Drew stepped in to play Ethan's character.

186

Drew ended up murdering a harmless

187

kind of innocent bystander, and that

definitely affected the alignment, or at

188

least the internal choices of this one

character that Ethan was playing, but he

189

wasn't there, right?

190

And he was really angry when he got back.

191

So just avoid it, right?

192

Next, and this actually has to apply

whether you or another player are

193

controlling the missing PC, but can they

die?

194

In my games, if you are not present...

195

your character can't die.

196

And I might change that and make it so

they have advantage on all death saves or

197

something like that.

198

But that's just because I don't trust

myself or my roles enough to keep the

199

character alive.

200

So if you are going to die and bleed out,

you don't because you are on loan, quote

201

unquote.

202

And to me, that's just not fair.

203

No one wants their character to die when

they're not there, right?

204

In your games are your characters whose

players are gone, able to die.

205

If they can, make sure the missing player

knows this, right?

206

Knows that there is a chance that their

character can die.

207

In fact, that should be a table rule set

up at the beginning of the campaign before

208

any players are ever missing, right?

209

They should know that.

210

You also need to decide if the missing

player has the right to retcon anything

211

when they return.

212

In my opinion, I would opt against this

except for various role-playing aspects.

213

when it comes to the major choices, the

player shouldn't get to choose what

214

happens when they are gone, right?

215

They should have the opportunity to say, I

do not want anyone playing my character,

216

you know, but they shouldn't be able to

decide, yes, I wanted to make this

217

decision versus that one.

218

That said, the players controlling the

characters whose player is missing, right?

219

The player subbing in also shouldn't be

able to make any big decisions with them

220

either.

221

When a character is being subbed, they

really should almost be an NPC that gets

222

to help the party in mostly just combat,

right?

223

Keep it simple.

224

The last option that allows the character

to still remain present is controlling

225

them yourself as the DM.

226

And in my opinion, this can be pretty

simple to do, but it can also get somewhat

227

annoying.

228

For example, if your players use digital

character sheets that you, the DM, can

229

see,

230

then it gets a little easier, right?

231

If they're using D&D Beyond, you can just

pull that up and you can play the

232

character.

233

But if they don't, then you'll have to

keep track of those sheets of paper,

234

right?

235

Which can get annoying, because you're

already keeping track of so much other

236

stuff.

237

Also, the more obvious consideration is

that as the DM, you are controlling scores

238

of baddies, as I just said.

239

Do you actually want to be in charge of

another character during combat?

240

And my general opinion is to give a player

control of the characters during combat at

241

the very least, depending on how many

adversaries there are, right?

242

If it's just one, then I'm okay doing it,

but if there's multiple, then I'm giving

243

that away, right?

244

And here, there are a few...

245

So if keeping a character around is so

much energy and focus consuming, why would

246

anyone choose to keep the character

present instead of just having them leave,

247

right?

248

So far we've talked about, if you continue

playing the session...

249

We've talked about keeping the character

present and having someone else control

250

them either you or the other players the

other option is Just having the character

251

leave for a bit.

252

So why would Anyone just have the

character present rather than having them

253

leave and there are a few reasons the

first reason is That depending on your

254

party and table rules the character might

have to be present in order to gain

255

experience And that's how it works in

video games, but that may or may not be

256

how it works at your table.

257

For example, I prefer just to have

everyone in my party level up at the same

258

time based on specific plot points, right,

and that's because I don't really like

259

math.

260

I also don't have any players who leave

for extended periods of time.

261

It's simply just to keep things easy for

me, and I know that's not super game

262

mechanic-y, but that's how I do it.

263

The second reason a DM might choose to

have a character stick around while the

264

player is not present is because they are

integral.

265

to the current story at hand.

266

And this might be the same reason that you

choose to reschedule the session if a

267

player is not around, because they need to

be present to make certain decisions,

268

right?

269

Having the character participate without

the player is not an ideal situation, but

270

it does allow the story to move on, and it

makes it so the entire party isn't just

271

waiting on the one person, because that

gets annoying really fast.

272

The third reason is that it doesn't make

sense for the character to just disappear.

273

There are different ways to make it so the

character does disappear, which we'll talk

274

about next, but if you are in the middle

of a dungeon or stuck on a speeding train,

275

having the character just say, gotta go,

doesn't really make sense and breaks the

276

immersion.

277

So now that we've talked about keeping the

character present, let's talk about having

278

the character be absent in addition to

their player.

279

There are, in my opinion, three ways to

make this happen.

280

Number one, you have the character stay

behind and the party leaves.

281

Number two, you have the character

actively choose to leave from where the

282

party is, or number three, you can have

something else pull the character away,

283

right?

284

Some sort of third party force.

285

When you have the character stay behind,

this is simply that the party decides to

286

go somewhere and the character decides to

remain where they are, waiting for the

287

rest of the party to return.

288

I saw a great example of this in High

Rollers, which is that group from the UK.

289

One of their players was not there and

they had her character Nova just stay back

290

at the inn and the party went and did

something else.

291

Obviously this worked because the party

was staying in an inn in a city.

292

If they were in the middle of a desert

without food or water, having the

293

character stay behind wouldn't really make

sense.

294

It would be nonsense.

295

When you have your character leave the

party...

296

When you have your character leave the

party, the character decides that another

297

path is more important than traveling with

the party, even for a day, right?

298

In the second campaign of Critical Role,

Yasha does this multiple times because

299

that player had other commitments that she

had to fulfill.

300

When you choose this method, you have to

have the player or yourself come up with a

301

logical reason as to why the character

leaves.

302

If the reason is because I wanted to find

mushrooms in the forest, that either fits

303

with your campaign or your character, or

it doesn't.

304

If it doesn't, the other players will not

find that a rewarding answer, and it will

305

make an annoying situation even more

frustrating.

306

More than anything, when a character

leaves the party and comes back, that

307

should be an excellent opportunity

308

develop the story arc of that character,

providing great role playing for the party

309

when the character returns.

310

So don't waste it, use it as an

opportunity to have something cool happen

311

even off camera technically.

312

Speaking of the character coming back,

when a character leaves you will have to

313

decide if they come back or not.

314

And if the character was just a temporary

thing or the player wants to have a new

315

character then having them leave is not

a...

316

bad thing at all.

317

It's actually a good thing.

318

In most cases though, the character will

come back and that means that you and the

319

player who is missing need to try and

figure out a plausible reason not only for

320

why the character left, but more

importantly, why they came back and how

321

they came back.

322

In some instances, it's easy.

323

Nicholas, Nicholas Trichagius left to go

commune with his deity in the forest.

324

or Nicholas Trocadius left to go commune

with his deity in the forest.

325

He came back because he was done.

326

The only reason that specific scenario

could work is because in this case, the

327

party remained in the same city, able to

move freely, right?

328

Nicholas Trocadius could come and go as he

pleased.

329

If the party had been embroiled in a

dungeon, then having Nick Trocadius show

330

up would be somewhat weird, unless...

331

His deity in the forest had shown him a

specific place in the dungeons where he

332

could find special psychedelic mushrooms.

333

And that place where those mushrooms were

just so happened to coincide with where

334

the party is.

335

Honestly, even that scenario is a bit

far-fetched, but sometimes it works,

336

right?

337

Also a quick side note.

338

D&D is your story.

339

That means that even though some things

might seem coincidental...

340

It isn't because you are the story weaver,

tying all the threads together, weaving a

341

great and beautiful tapestry.

342

Was it coincidence that Han Solo and

Chewbacca were in the Mos Eisley Cantina

343

when Ben Kenobi was looking for a way off

Tatooine?

344

Or was it the Force?

345

Was it just coincidence that Aragorn,

Legolas, and Gimli were all present at the

346

Council of Rivendell, or were they

destined to be there?

347

You know, it doesn't matter because they

were there.

348

Sometimes I analyze things too much and I

fall into this trap of thinking, what a

349

funny coincidence that those two

characters were there and then I decide

350

not to make that part of the story.

351

In movies and stories, coincidences happen

all the time and honestly, that might be

352

why the stories or the movies even have a

plot because of the quote unquote

353

coincidence.

354

So I know I say that you have to make

things quote unquote make sense and I know

355

that you've

356

that I've been using a lot of air quotes,

quote unquote, but just as long as your

357

story is gripping and entertaining, I

wouldn't worry too much about it.

358

Side note over, by the way.

359

So thinking about reasons why a character

would return, there are a few

360

possibilities, but obviously if you can

think it up, then it's probably gonna

361

work.

362

The simplest reason is that, like what

I've already mentioned, the character that

363

left finished the thing that they went to

do, so they came back.

364

doesn't need much more explanation than

that.

365

Another simple reason is that the thing

they went to do led them back to the party

366

anyways.

367

This method is great if you want to tie in

the reason they came back with what the

368

party has going on right now.

369

An example of this would be Doostar the

Druid left because she had a strange

370

vision about her communing with nature in

a white glaive, glade, a white glade.

371

She leaves, finds the white glade.

372

And while there she has another vision

about finding a black glade and her party.

373

She starts her search.

374

She finds the black glade right as a death

knight begins attacking her party in the

375

very black glade she saw in her vision.

376

And the party dispatches the black glade

and the death knight.

377

Dewstar discovers that the center of the

glade there is a grave of an ancient druid

378

whose spirit is at unrest for some reason.

379

and now the party's gonna kinda go on that

storyline for a while, you know, so the

380

character left and returned both for plot

points.

381

Another simple reason is that the missing

character has her own agenda and then

382

whatever the party was doing leads the

party to the missing character.

383

It's somewhat similar to the previous

reason, but there are slight differences.

384

In this case, the missing character

doesn't really have any intention of

385

returning to the party or they intend to

return much later.

386

The party then does the returning, you

could say, surprising everyone involved.

387

When it comes down to it, you don't need

to make it make sense unless you want to

388

dwell on the fact that they left and came

back.

389

If you just want to gloss over that

so-and-so returned, you know, then it's

390

fine.

391

You just gloss over it and move on.

392

The rest of your party was going to move

on too, no problem.

393

But if you do want to spend time on it,

make sure that it's a satisfying,

394

fulfilling answer to the question of why

did you come back here and now?

395

While we're on the subject of players

missing sessions and things like that, I

396

think it would be apropos to talk about

how communication around missing sessions

397

happens.

398

Here's the truth of it.

399

It's gonna change on a case-by-case basis.

400

Here's the idea, the ideal that we all

strive for.

401

Every missing player alerts the group at

least a couple days in advance.

402

That's kind of the ideal situation.

403

And I know things don't always pan out

that way, but it's best to alert the group

404

as soon as you know, you're gonna be

missing a session so that the group can

405

make decisions and plan what they are

gonna do.

406

For example, this previous week, I was

sick.

407

I was hoping I would feel better by the

time and day of our session, but I wasn't.

408

So I texted the group that I couldn't do

it that day.

409

On other occasions, members of our group

have had conflicts and they've alerted us

410

that they would be out of town weeks in

advance, right?

411

As soon as you know,

412

tell the group.

413

This allows the rest of us to decide if we

will continue playing anyways or if we

414

will hold off and wait until you get back.

415

So really the only rule for communication

is communicate early, communicate clearly,

416

communicate often.

417

What do you do if the missing player is

integral to the story?

418

Here's where I put on my tough love hat.

419

The simple fact of the matter is that you

will have to decide yourself, but let me

420

tell you that no decision is wrong.

421

If you decide to move along with the

story, that's totally fine.

422

In fact, maybe the player being gone will

help you write a more creative story.

423

Either way, you're the DM and you're going

to have to take control over the session

424

and decide whether it happens, right?

425

Yes, your players may all decide to skip a

week, but you get to decide if the week is

426

skipped anytime on a whim, right?

427

You have more control than any other

player.

428

And don't forget that.

429

Also, lord, don't, also, don't lord that

over your players in a really jerky way,

430

that's just terrible.

431

But just know that if a player is missing

and their character happens to be a big

432

decision maker right in the center of

what's going on, you can play without

433

them.

434

Like, you don't need them.

435

They might not like that, but if that's

what it takes to keep your group playing

436

and having fun, then absolutely do that.

437

From sickness to work trips to family

conflicts, our players are going to have

438

lots of reasons why they may or may not be

able to make sessions happen.

439

That's probably especially true in this

next period of time.

440

You know, we're gonna have Christmas and

New Year's.

441

So when your players turn up missing,

don't feel discouraged.

442

Instead, look at the options we talked

about to see if there is a way to make

443

your session happen.

444

And if the player remains missing for more

than 48 hours, call the police.

445

Lol.

446

In the end, what matters is that everyone

is having fun.

447

Also, that was a joke.

448

I hope none of your players ever actually

turn up missing.

449

Thank you for listening to today's

episode.

450

Make sure to head over to Instagram.

451

Like I said, give us a follow.

452

We can find us at Monsters.Rent or

HowToBeABetterDM.

453

Send us a message, like I said.

454

Tell us your tips, tricks, questions even,

and we'll give you a shout out.

455

and send it to us there and we'll make it

go live on the show.

456

And again, like I said, we'll give you a

shout out.

457

But thanks again, guys.

458

We'll be back next week for another show.

459

Until then, let's roll initiative.