🎙️ This week on The Carbon Footprint:

• A Florida county paying for everyone’s college. Yep, the same state where bath salts and alligator wrestling make the news daily… somehow nailed education better than the feds.
• Tyson Bagent signs with the Bears and reacts like he just won a scratch-off, not a multi-million dollar deal.
• Jake Paul vs. Gervonta Davis — spoiler: one of them can actually box.
• And if your Labor Secretary won’t fudge the stats to make you look good… don’t fix the numbers, just fire the nerd and hire a liar.

All that plus the usual inappropriate jokes your HR department warned you about.