What happens when the faith you were handed no longer feels like the faith you're living?

Kimberly opens up about the tender, often lonely process of questioning beliefs that were inherited rather than chosen. She shares how growing up steeped in a fear-based church culture shaped her early understanding of God, and how years of honest searching, reading beyond the Bible, and sitting with hard questions led her toward a faith rooted in love instead of fear. She talks candidly about spiritual gifts, mysticism, and the discomfort of outgrowing certainty, all while insisting that questioning isn't the opposite of faith but often a sign of growing closer to it.

Kimberly reminds listeners that their spiritual path belongs to them alone and doesn't require anyone else's approval. She closes with an invitation to release the guilt tied to searching and to trust that becoming is the whole point.

Kimberly: They're connected to our families, they're connected to our communities, our identities, and our understanding of who we are. So what happens when those beliefs begin to shift? What happens when the answers that once felt so certain no longer feel complete? What happens when you start asking questions?

Kimberly: Today, we're gonna talk about spiritual growth, giving yourself permission to question, and learning how to love people who believe differently than you do, and supporting each person on their own individual spiritual journey. questioning your faith or what you've grown up to believe doesn't mean you've lost your faith.

Kimberly: Questioning isn't necessarily a sign that you're moving away from God. Sometimes it's a sign that you're moving closer, not because you're abandoning what you've already known, but because you're exploring it more honestly. A lot of our belief systems, we inherit.

Kimberly: And sometimes we stay silent because we don't want conflict. But growth often requires our honesty. Not certainty, but honesty. And that can be very wavering. letting go of the idea that you have to have all the answers or that there is one solid answer for every question that you have. I think one of the most freeing realizations I've had is that I don't have to know everything.

Kimberly: And in fact, I think it makes me stronger because it makes me brave, because I'm willing to step outside the box. I'm willing to step outside of what is my norm, my comfort level, and start exploring things that maybe you were told were taboo or wrong, "Don't read these things. They're not good for you."

Kimberly: And since COVID, I would have to say the more someone tells me I have to do something or don't do something, the more I'm probably most likely gonna do the opposite, because I want to know why. Why can I not do that? Why can I not read that? Why should I not know this? " Oh, it's mystic knowledge. Oh, it's Gnosticism.

Kimberly: I don't. I love my Creator, and I don't think He made us dumb. I don't think He made us to be little drone ants who sit there, or little drone bees who just sit there and just don't ask questions, don't look. If you think something different, you're just wrong and it's not true. He made us inquisitive.

Kimberly: He made us curious. He gave us resources for us to search more. I can understand back in the day when it was harder and you would go and have to go to, like, the library, and you wouldn't even know what books you were looking for or what resources and materials you were looking for. But nowadays, you have all the resources at your fingertips to be able to look beyond just the Holy Bible.

Kimberly: You can look into the Apocrypha, which used to be in the Holy Bible. I actually have a Bible that still has the Apocrypha in it that I inherited from my grandmother. And now if you say, "I have this Apocrypha Bible," they're like, "Oh, don't read that.

Kimberly: And it doesn't mean it's not, but it doesn't mean it is.

Kimberly: if you're in a season of questioning, I just wanna offer you permission. it's okay. I don't care what anyone else tells you. It's okay to be curious. You have permission to learn. You have permission to read. You have permission to explore. You have permission to change your mind. You have permission to grow.

Kimberly: You have permission to hold beliefs with humility. Growth doesn't require abandoning your faith, and it doesn't need to make you into an I-told-you-so person or to look down at anyone else for not coming along on the journey with you. it just simply sometimes requires

Kimberly: Don't be selfish. Don't be greedy. Don't be mean some people would say, "Oh, Kim, that sounds like works. You can't get to heaven just through works." But it's not. You know what? Your works make you into the human that God designed you to be. Good works, loving others. Because you know what? I know many people who think that they're very holy that don't do a lot for anybody, but they judge a lot of people

Kimberly: Your spiritual path is exactly your path. No one else can walk it for you. No one else can ask the questions. No one else can receive your insights

Kimberly: But that process of finding your own faith, it should be in your own time.

Kimberly: There should be no labels to it. It's... And honestly, it's nobody else's business. So if you want to go and ask people to help support you in your journey, and ask people questions so that you understand, the Bible better, or different teachings, or history, or anything like that, then that is okay.

Kimberly: you can trust your heart, you can trust your seeking, you can trust the process. Sometimes it means discovering a deeper understanding of what was already there all along

Kimberly: You know I encourage you to sit and think about what beliefs you inherited without examining them. How many times have we grown up in church and from the day you could pretty much walk, you just, you could spit the Bible? I went to a private school. We had to memorize at minimum seven verses a week, right?

Kimberly: And then we'd have church and Sunday school, and we would have church on Wednesday nights, and we would learn the Bible. And trust me, I love that I have the Word of God hidden in my heart. that is a gift, even though it didn't feel like a gift when we were doing it as children.

Kimberly: I encourage you to read it yourself. Read Mary Magdalene. Read the Book of Thomas. Read Enoch. Read the Jubilees. Read the Maccabees. Read all the things that you should be able to read. Get the Nag Hammadi. Go find those. Go read those.

Kimberly: There is so much more knowledge and wisdom out there, and if you ask God to protect your heart and your mind and your eyes and your soul, what is supposed to stay with you and what you are supposed to learn from all of it will stay with you

Kimberly: Do you believe it because it was generational, passed down in your culture, and that is who they expected you to be? And if you go and try to be anything other than something in that culture, then you are gonna be shunned or told that you are not loved or you're not good, or you're gonna go burn in hell.

Kimberly: What are the things that... Do you believe what you believe because you're afraid? But is it a fear-based Faith. I don't have a fear b- faith, a fear-based faith, not anymore. You know I grew up

Kimberly: Everything was, of the world. I remember my sister hiding a radio under her pillow when we were little so she could hear, rock music.

Kimberly: I remember when Amy Grant came out and she was like a Christian singer, but man, she was kinda edgy. and I remember, that was a big thing. They all thought she was gonna burn in hell. she's amazing, is she not? But I grew up in this culture of fear. " Don't you know God's gonna come back?

Kimberly: Don't you know that He's gonna come any day? Don't you know that someone's gonna put a gun to your head someday and tell you that you need to choose Jesus or die?" And you better hurry up and make that decision. And if they're holding your children in front of you, you have to be strong enough to say, " Kill me."

Kimberly: It's okay. Or let your child

Kimberly: God, don't come back until I get married and have a baby. God, don't come back until I get a license." And, cause you wanted to experience all these milestones in your life, because as a child you don't understand that the promise of heaven and no pain and seeing your loved ones again and worshiping God all the time and being in a place of peace, as a kid you don't realize, in reality that is so much better than sitting here and getting my license.

Kimberly: But as a kid you don't know the difference. But that fear-based

Kimberly: Actually, I thought we were gonna stay at home for a couple of months, and then we were gonna end up trying to find a new church home, and we would be good with that, and everything would be great. But what ended up happening was I started reading... I was reading my Bible every day, and I kept seeing about the way.

Kimberly: It's in the Bible, and it talks about basically how the disciples were followers of the way, not Christians. They were followers of the way. They followed what Jesus did, ' cause Jesus said, "Be like me. Do as I do." I started reading and thinking like, "Lord, this makes so much more sense to me," like actually doing the things.

Kimberly: And it's not because he wasn't a son of God. We're all sons and daughters of God. He said, worship the Father. Worship God's source creator. Don't worship me. and for me, that really became a point of contention in my faith because if I'm supposed to only worship God, where did come, like, we're only saved by the blood of Jesus? Because wouldn't if Jesus had spent all his time saying while he was on earth, " I'm gonna die and only the blood of me is going to save you"?

Kimberly: why would he not just straight talk to his disciples and say, "Hey guys, when I go up on that cross, 'cause they're gonna come and get me, and they are gonna crucify me, and then I'm gonna raise in three days. But after I raise in three days, if you don't worship me, you will never see the kingdom of heaven

Kimberly: for knowing the difference between good and evil now. I'm going to now punish you for that It doesn't even make sense to me. What also doesn't make sense to me is God tells you to not be jealous, to not be envious, to not be boastful, to not be lustful, to not be all these things And the God, in the Old Testament represented, is jealous and angry And violent.

Kimberly: It's not the same God

Kimberly: There is so much deception. There is so much deception. It's just annoying So I started walking out, figuring out all these things that make more sense to me. And yes, I am a follower of The Way. I love Jesus. I love God. I love the Holy Spirit I just don't subscribe that God needs my money to be able to survive.

Kimberly: And yes, I know, I used to give lots of money to the church happily because I thought it, be- in my eyes, it showed that I didn't hold any value in the money, right? that God and the church and people were deserving of my money, which is fine, and I still believe about being generous.

Kimberly: that's not a thing. all these things were turned around. Basically religions, churches, those kinds of churches were started in cahoots with government

Kimberly: They were true and holy. The Essenes were from the Nazarenes. they were with Jesus' people, and wiped out

Kimberly: What beliefs did you inherit without examining them? What questions have you been afraid to ask? Where are you seeking certainty instead of curiosity, and how can you create space for both conviction and compassion What does spiritual growth look like for you in this season?

Kimberly: I don't need to be right. I don't need to be right. I could be completely wrong, and that's okay. It's my journey I actually have no fear of going to hell because I don't believe my God would send me there because He loves me because I am His creation, and He is all-knowing. And you can't tell me that the whole world who doesn't believe in being a Christian, God is gonna burn that creation forever in damnation in hell with fire and brimstone, but He loves His creation, but they just didn't get there in enough time.

Kimberly: So ta-da, off you go. You're burning

Kimberly: I believed it when I believed it. Now I can't unsee it. There's so much I can't unsee anymore. And so now that I see the things

Kimberly: I always have. God gave me those gifts. I've been able to see in the spirit since I was a little kid. I've been able to hear things since I was a little kid. In the church, if you see-- You can still be a seer and a hearer. you get words from God, no one's gonna say anything against that. You see a vision, whether it's open or closed, you're a seer in church

Kimberly: You can have spiritual giftings under a church name and it's okay. You have spiritual giftings and you're a psychic because you can hear things, you're demonic. I don't think that's right I don't. Do I think there's lower, darker entities? Yes. Have I encountered them? Yes Do I wish to encounter them often or again?

Kimberly: No. I do not like them. And they can be scary

Kimberly: But that being said, the giftings that I've had since I was a child

Kimberly: Can you see anything?"

Kimberly: I know it, I felt and I've experienced in my own house, so not now currently, but previously, and I mentioned a little bit about that with Tara in that conversation. Does it make me crazy? I don't think so. I think everyone has the ability to see in the spirit. I believe that everybody has the ability to work with energy, to heal energy.

Kimberly: God has given us. We are energetic beings. That's how he made us, and we sit there and we make it all into boo-boo juju. In reality, it's just freaking science, metaphysical science

Kimberly: and I'm like, "How do you feel about this, and how do you feel..." And she's been a wonderful resource to bounce things off of because we both love God and Jesus. We both grew up in the church. We both are feeling some sort of way. And you know what? It's eye-opening that you can both be having the same revelations at the same time.

Kimberly: There is an awakening happening. it's almost like the same thing. people say, "Oh, are you red-pilled?" The Matrix, blue pill, red pill. "Are you red-pilled?" I'm, I am red-pilled, and I don't mean, in a pol- political way. I mean in a world way. I understand that there are higher people in this world that do make the world run round.

Kimberly: We are created, we're supposed to be in harmony with one another because if we all were full of love and helping each other and caring about each other, there would be no room for war and anger and For just bad things that happen. It just wouldn't happen anymore

Kimberly: You have to vibrate higher. and naturally, what does that even mean? you sit there and you just do the things. When you do good, good emanates back. When you sing praises to someone, it makes them feel better. They raise their vibration. When you love on someone, you raise their vibration. When you love on yourself, you raise your vibration.

Kimberly: All these things are there to help each other, to lift up the world.

Kimberly: And actually, we're in a season in this world where it is happening more and more. People are becoming awake to themselves what resonates true with them. And I'm not saying the way I believe you need to believe. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying find what actually makes sense to you and follow that.

Kimberly: You do not have to follow stuff that you were innately born in to follow Know that God loves you. Know that he supports you. He, she, creator, whatever, supports you. He loves his creation

Kimberly: You just never know

Kimberly: And if you're going and you're researching and you're looking, you don't have to rush to conclusions. You don't have to force your certainty. You don't have to have everything figured out Allow yourself to be curious. Allow yourself to learn. Allow yourself to grow. And above all, allow yourself to love because at the end of the day, I believe love is the clearest reflection of God or the divine that we'll ever encounter

Kimberly: And that is a fact

Kimberly: Love is the language. Love is the religion. Love, love, love. Not love with judgment, not love with conditions

Kimberly: It's, we're bribing people to come to church with goodie bags and whatever. And yes, I think churches are great for community. I think they're great for learning morals and learning to be good people. But the actual, in most churches, the atmosphere, you still have people just being people.

Kimberly: And those people hurt people, and some of those help people, and some of them love people. But at the end of the day

Kimberly: You are your church. Your body is the temple in which you get to worship with God who is in you already. You don't need to find Him outside of you. He is already in you. The Holy Spirit is in you. He was in you when God breathed life into you in the womb

Kimberly: But what I believe in most is having the autonomy to be able to be yourself, to believe whatever you need to believe that gives you faith to get through your life

Kimberly: God is not gonna hate you because you went and did the things He probably wants you to do anyway. And maybe it will prove you right. Maybe it will prove you wrong. Maybe it will just make you search deeper and deeper, and you'll become this great theologian. Who knows? But don't be afraid of your spirituality, and do not be afraid to embrace what resonates and sticks with you

Kimberly: And really, just root into what feels true

Kimberly: that you're meant to be

Kimberly: Because you're not behind you are becoming

Kimberly: And until next time, stay rooted. Release what no longer serves you and rise