Cultivating Community and Leading with a Servant Mentality with Haley Westfall - Momma Has Goals

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Cultivating Community and Leading with a Servant Mentality with Haley Westfall

Episode 144 • 20th February 2024 • Momma Has Goals • Kelsey Smith

:00

I would sit down and say, what are those areas either where you're struggling, where you're looking for accountability and maybe to be pushed or for growth, and then areas just where you're looking for connection to be around other like minded individuals, whether it's around a hobby, or a specific topic or something that you're passionate about. And then once you have those things written down, I would really sit and think, How can I serve in this capacity to provide a mutually beneficial experience because cultivating community whether it's through making new mom friends, or it's through a networking experience, if you're just asking all the time, that's not cultivating community, right? It's a bi directional exchange between both you and the other people that are in this space.

0:49

Let's reimagine mom life together. Mama house schools is your hub for relatable support and helpful resources that help you fuel yourself alongside motherhood. Your identity is bigger than moms, and whatever your goals are, together, we're making them a reality. There are these universal themes throughout life that we all have that we all carry, but it can look really different inside of that theme for each of us. And motherhood is an example for this community with that, where we may all share a version of the title mom, but it looks different. It's played out different day to day in our lives. Yeah, and another version of this is community and connection. Today, we're talking about all things community and connection because it is a universal theme that we all have. We are all connected to different people in our life. And maybe we are looking for different connections. We're hoping for a different type of friendship or we're wanting to pull in different people into our life. Maybe we want to push some people away. And today our guest Haley Westfall is a former 20 year corporate leader turned two times founder business strategist and community building mentor. She was born and raised in Arizona and he leaves a wife self proclaimed queen have her tiny girl gain three daughters, 10, seven, and four, and lover of humans and Expresso. She has an operational background and a master's degree in leadership. She's led teams from five to 500, and has an insane passion for connecting with people. Haley now helps fellow founders grow their business and bottom line through community and connection. In addition to this, Haley is the co founder of an Arizona membership based community for female entrepreneurs and professionals called collab culture. And we talk about how community is a really great way to build business. We also talk about how this shows up for us personally, whether it's in our household with our friendships, navigating different things in our life, and how we should lean on other people. And we should lead to build community and how community can look very different in many different ways. So maybe you're thinking, I don't want to be a part of another group, or I don't want to lead something like that. I'd love for you to listen in as we break down how this shows up already in your life, how you can nurture it more and build different profit in your life, revenue wise, but also energetically, and make community and connection, something that you are really nurturing in the right ways with the right intention and purpose. As you continue into life. We also talk about just how Healy navigates all these different things in her life prioritizes, the different roles that she has and the newness and transitions from oldest to youngest child, and what that looks like. So, dive on in. Haley, I'm super excited to chat today. I always love when we jump on. And we're like before the recording, catching up. I'm like, we should be talking about all this. So let's push record, by one of the things I always advocate for the women in our community to do is to build relationships with other women that they're craving, whether it's online or in person. And we're going to talk about that so much today. But you're one of my favorite people I've met through different communities. And one of the things that I kind of love about our friendship and the way it's been nurtured is we've met multiple times before it was really like, Oh, hey, I actually really liked you. And we should continue to stay connected.

4:15

But it wasn't like, Oh,

4:17

I'm not sure about you yet. Right. Like hear this from other people. And it's I had to, like decide if that part. It was like, No, we're just like busy people. And we were like passing in lanes next to each other. And then it was like, no, wait, you come over to my lane. I'm gonna come over to your lane. I want to definitely connect more. But that takes intentionality. And when you're a busy mom, running businesses or working hard and navigating little humans, you have to like pause and find your people. I want to take it back AI and know where this started for you in being an intentional connector. Where did you first realize that you needed to like put some intention behind the connections in your life?

4:58

For sure, I would say Say I've always been a very social person on the outside, if you will, I would consider myself extroverted. I've also always been a super social person. But I feel like really in becoming a mom is when community really became apparent for me that it needed to require more than like, the superficial numbers of how many people that you knew, right? There was this different sense of belonging, this different sense of stress and chaos and excitement and uncertainty and just waters that I had never navigated before? For context, I have three daughters, they are the tiny girl gang, I have dubbed myself their queen, and they are 10, seven, and four, and they are my greatest gift, but also absolute, feral lunatics. And I feel like when I became a mom, I was one of the first friends in my friend group to get married, but one of the later ones to have kids. So a fair amount of my friends already had babies, by the time that we had our oldest and I feel like in that time, I just had a lot of uncertainty, we had a miscarriage prior to having my first daughter. And that just brought a whole different level of stress and anxiety around keeping this tiny human alive, and what are the things that I needed to do? And so I would say motherhood, for sure, is where it became really apparent. And I started getting really intentional about the people I was connecting with, in what way and how I was creating that mutually beneficial relationship with them.

6:31

And then there's being your own leader, right. Like in that situation, you're leading your own community and connection. But you're a business leader, a community leader, a family leader, your prior corporate leader, we're and you have a master's in leadership, like literally leadership all over, have you always considered yourself a leader? Or is that something that you stepped in grew into, as you cultivated these communities?

6:54

leadership strategies, maybe: 1015

7:23

Yeah, we're supposed to improve, right? Whether it's like we look at, we were just talking about the transition from your first to your third child in kindergarten, we evolve and we learn along the way, right, and we're going to navigate situations differently. And I think when we think about like our communities and our connections that might show up to where we might realize someone that was a really great connection. And friend, for us, maybe isn't meant to be that same connection forever. And maybe they are, but you need to put new people into your life as you become a new person. What has that journey looked like for you, like when you're talking about the very beginning, stepping into motherhood, looking for that connection to now all the different versions of communities that you're a part of? Yeah, I

8:08

love this question. And I actually I was on an mastermind trip back in October, and a friend and I were taking a walk down to the beach in Newport. And we were talking about this very topic. And having really aligned expectations with relationships and understanding that every one is not going to serve you in every season of life. And it doesn't mean you have to have this formality of writing someone off, and you're not going to talk to them again. But it just we do go through those ebbs and flows of like the different areas of our life and where we're looking for that support. I'm actually it's funny, the irony here, I just started reading a book last night called Find Your people by Jenny Allen, she also wrote another book called Get out of your head. And she talks a lot about this about when we're cultivating these relationships, about placing really realistic expectations on other people and ourselves and getting really aligned with the spaces that they're serving us in. So when I was talking to the friend on the walk to the beach, I said, I would never go to my single friend for marriage advice, right? I wouldn't go to my husband for entrepreneur, business ownership advice, he doesn't own a business, I would never go to my non parent friend for parenting advice. And so getting really clear on those places and spaces and the way that you're serving and other people are serving you I think is really important because it allows us to not get disappointed, and to also not place unrealistic expectations on other people, which then creates this weird friction because we're assuming that they're going to be everything to us, when really that's just an unfair expectation to place on other people. Right. And I think to your point, there's seasons where that's going to happen. I wasn't always an entrepreneur. I didn't need entrepreneur friends five years ago, 10 years ago, but also my corporate friends are my friends. In a completely different capacity now that I don't work in corporate anymore, so I just think it ebbs and flows. And I think a constant check in with yourself, where am I looking to be poured into? And how can I pour into others, and then aligning those relationships accordingly is huge. And I would strongly recommend doing it more often than you think you actually need to. Yeah.

10:23

Is there like a tangible journaling exercise or a question that someone could reflect on to help them take the first step to finding either one new connection or a new community because I think of those commercials, I don't know, if you saw going around, where they were showing, there's a Facebook group for everything, no matter what it is, you can probably find a Facebook group to connect you in it from the most off the wall thing to general mom groups. But there's communities outside of Facebook groups just like that. So there isn't like one size fits all, but it's finding your people. Yeah. And I think sometimes when you're feeling alone, and maybe you're in like, the trenches of motherhood, or the trenches of your job, or whatever it is that you have going on in life, it's hard to find the confidence to step into a new relationship or new community and put that effort out there. And sometimes you don't even know what you're looking for. So when I think of this, when someone says, like, how can I help? And you're like, I don't know, right? It's the same thing of what type of friend are you looking for? I don't know. So how do you get someone to acknowledge what they're looking for, so they can find it? Yeah, I

11:30

think less is more like really starting simple, because I think this, you know, assumption that we have to fix all of the world's problems, all of our own problems, especially as a mom, we're fixers, we're the one that owns the responsibility of all of these things. And I think getting really simple and going one thing at a time, where I tend to lead more as like a servant leader. So I am looking at how I can help pour into other people and then in return it that reciprocated energy back into me. So I usually recommend people start with like your top three. And so this could be areas of your life where you're feeling like you need support. It could be areas of your life where you're looking to be challenged, you need accountability, or it could be areas of your life where you're just looking for connection. When I left the corporate space, it was not on my own terms, my position was eliminated. And I really had to immediately pivot and figure out, I'm like, I don't even know who my people are, like, I went from 20 years of being so crystal clear day in and day out of the people that I was going to not only for work things, but personal things too, right? When you work corporate, you usually spend, especially if you're in office, more time with those people than you do with your actual family. And so very quickly, I had to try to figure out, I don't even know what I need, what does this look like and sitting down and drawing out what that looks like. So I would sit down and say, what are those areas either where you're struggling, where you're looking for accountability, and maybe to be pushed or for growth, and then areas just where you're looking for connection to be around other like minded individuals, whether it's around a hobby, or a specific topic or something that you're passionate about? And then once you have those things written down, I would really sit and think, How can I serve in this capacity to provide a mutually beneficial experience because cultivating community whether it's through making new mom friends, or it's through a networking experience, if you're just asking all the time, that's not cultivating community, right? It's a bi directional exchange between both you and the other people that are in this space. And so I think getting very clear of what value do I have, maybe I'm really struggling with, I don't know, organization, I feel like my life is super chaotic. My house is a mess, like whatever those things are. But I'm really, really strong in the kitchen and creating like, cost effective meal prepping strategies for a household of four plus individuals, whatever that looks like, I'm really clear on the value that I have to bring to the table. And I'm also very clear on what it is that I'm looking for and where I'm looking for that support.

14:21

I love that you bring that up. And I think the confidence piece is so important, right? Because if you enter a friendship or community, people probably want to support you and be your friend. But if you're in this space of just my life sucks, well, me, everything's hard, then we have to be realistic and honest that the other people are going to be like, Look, I feel for you, but I can't take all that on right now. So then you're not getting that friendship that you're looking for where if you can lead with that giving in that servant mentality. And you may be struggling with certain things if you can be like, here's what I can provide, and then you're able to receive and it does help us receive when we're good Having we know that it's factual, it makes us feel good, then you're able to get that mutual compound and respect. So that's like a super personal like mom version of this. But community is so important, really in everything, whether it's your career, even your household, and also in your business. I'd love for you to talk about, like how this shows up for you, especially because the primary two kind of pillars in your life right now are business and family. Right? So how do you build these different communities within your own little tiny girl game, as you call it, and also outside where you're cultivating all of this connection for others?

15:36

Yeah, so I have on the business side, I have two different businesses, I run an in person community here in Arizona, for female entrepreneurs and professionals. And I also have a coaching business. I'm a business strategist and a community building mentor, really teaching other business owners how to incorporate community into their overall business strategy for compound growth, expansion, brand, visibility, increased revenue, all of the things. And this really happened out of a sense of necessity. For me, when I again, I left corporate, and I didn't know who my people were, and I was really searching for it. And it wasn't finding what I was looking for. I feel like a lot of people came to my aid at that time, because I'm a high achiever by nature, and I was knocked down. And you know, just seeing the graciousness of people like dropping off a coffee on my doorstep or sending a kind tax to give you and checking in really showed me how important that was, and how I wanted to carry that into this new era. And this new version, myself as an entrepreneur. And so I just really was humbled very quick on even as a high achieving professional, we can need people to and we can need to feel seen and need to feel heard and just need to have space held for us. And I really am intentional about cultivating relationships that are purpose driven, even with my kids, and I'm not going to pretend to be a perfect mom, I have my days too. I yell sometimes I get frustrated, I lose my patience. But at the end of the day, especially being a mom of all girls, I don't ever want there to be a time where they feel like I'm not their people, right? Like, I might be like cringy. If that, you know, all the buzzwords that I don't know how to use appropriately, I may be that but I don't ever want them to second guess being able to come to me in a vulnerable state, and really open up and feel like I will hold that space for them. So I really try to incorporate them even into my business practices of creating community for people. And we talking about it regularly. And it may sound like oh yeah, you have a toddler. She probably doesn't get it. But she would actually be surprised on the ways that they're able to really articulate and understand with their little minds of like, what this looks like and what it's doing for people and how it's helping and how it's creating connection. It's really cool. So they'll see me working, or they'll see me doing things. And it's so cute. Because they'll say, Oh Mom, what are you doing? Oh, I'm working. And they're like, oh, collab culture, or West collective. Like they know, they know, there's two businesses, they love hearing about the events and seeing pictures and videos and me just talking about connecting with people. And so I really think integrating that culture into every aspect of my life has made it so natural and organic, that at this point, it's like muscle memory. Like I just do it with such intentionality that I you know, once you work that muscle so much, it just becomes ingrained in who you are. And you just seek to serve first. And know that's going to come back to you tenfold, whether it's through support, whether it's through, you know, business, referrals, whatever that might look like. It will come back if you lead with like that servant heart first. Yeah, having three girls specifically, typically, when people are the same gender and a family, there's a little more pressure to be like best friends to connect a little bit more. And I'm curious how you cultivate friendship between your girls and also maybe not put the pressure on that they're

19:21

best friends, especially with your leadership, background and community building. And what we were talking about earlier that you don't have to be everything for someone and they don't have to be everything for you. But we want to have a good culture of community and our family. How do you navigate that balance at this point? Yeah, well there and

19:40

it's it's tough ages, like my 10 year old especially, is really she's going to be going into middle school next year. She's a little bit young for her grade. And she's got that pre teen angst. Everything is annoying, is bothered by the toddler. And I think it's really important to just bring them back, like you said, where you don't have to be best friends, I'm not asking you to do any and everything to one another. But the thing that I will tell them constantly is in this house, we're a team. We're a team, we function as a unit. And we all have different responsibilities and different areas where we provide value to the team. And everybody isn't going to be good at everything. But that's the value of us being a unit because where Mommy maybe isn't as strong, daddy picks up the slack, where maybe you really shine in this one thing, you know, says he's a little bit better. And we kind of figure out like, we don't have to be that everything for everyone. And I think articulating it like a team really helps them to understand that we all have our individual roles. And we can coexist, and all be individual humans, as soon as all say that, like we're a team, like in this house, we're a team, they get it and they can articulate like, Oh, we're on the soccer field, like all going towards the same goal. But we all have different responsibilities. And so I think that's huge. I mean, we always say like emotions and volume run high in this house. And that is very true. And so I think just really trying to bring it back to like, our goal as a family is, you know, X, Y, and Z, whatever that looks like for the season of life that we're in, in in a manner that they can understand, right? Sometimes we try to speak to them like they're adults, and then they just look at us with those glazed over looks. And I'm like, Oh, my husband will say they don't know what that word means. So I'm like, Okay, let's go back to the drawing board. But I think the one I've most consistently found is that analogy of like, we're a team. When we're on the field, when we're functioning together. This is what our individual roles are, but like, there's times that we're not on the fields, and we just coexist as individuals to.

22:00

I love that, I think that is such a good way to put it. And especially like you said, it's easier for kids to understand, but it doesn't like expire. It's not only for like toddlers, it can continue up to any age. So I absolutely love that. Speaking of team, you have multiple businesses, one of which is solely yours, and one that you have built with a longtime friend, I'd love for you to talk a little bit about the differences, the benefits, and for someone that's maybe considering stepping into something, even if it's just cutting together a mom group or a hobby on the side, how do you know when it's okay to move forward with a friend for a venture? That's exciting? Yes,

22:41

it is such a: 5050

27:13

And you're so good at it. I will advocate for you on that I absolutely love watching your shine in both those roles, but especially that one, what are some of the daily tactics, ways that you organize your life to be able to wear all these hats? Is it truly just like every day is different? And there's a little bit of survival mode? Or do you feel like you have a really good method and system maybe 80% of the time? And what does that look like balancing the businesses, the family, your own self care whether it's like getting your eyelashes done, or anything else? How do you fit all the pieces together?

27:47

in. But I really struggled in: 2023

31:23

So good, so many good takeaways from that, I love it. You have to have a purpose and intention and know where you want to go. In order to do that right to create, whether it's those habits you were talking about in your house or its color coordinating your calendar, you have to have an intention of why you're doing that or where you're going. When you think about the life you've cultivated as an entrepreneur, as a mom, even when you were in corporate, and then the communities and the connections that you're having. It all has a purpose behind it. Right? It all has a reason that you're doing it. How do you find that purpose with each action? Whether it's, is it for you like a daily reflection, a quarterly, we're going to be about a month into the new year when this release is? Is it like an annual goal? What are some of the ways you stay connected to that purpose, whether it's networking and that one to one conversation? Or it's literally waking up and getting little humans to school? How do you stay core to Okay, Haley, this is why we're here today doing this? Yeah, for sure.

32:22

I used to do annual goals. That's how I used to set things. And I have found, I don't know if it's my personality type. Maybe it's my, you know, multi passionate tendencies, I don't really know what it is, that just did not work well. For me, I am very much like an all or nothing. And I find if I set annual goals, I'm just like sprinting towards everything all at once. So I ended up showing up maybe like subpar and all the things instead of wholeheartedly in the one thing. So I really have shifted, especially going into this new year of doing a monthly focus and really focusing on what am I focusing on for this month. Now granted, I do have a calendar with like program launches. And if I'm going to be attending different conferences and things like that, I have stuff like that that's built out further. But if I'm focusing on like a this month, where are the areas that I really want to pour my attention into, in my business, within my home, with my marriage, with my kids, with my finances, with my face with my health, all of these different areas, like what is my focal point, for this month only. And I find that a really helps me I am, you know, a networker and a extrovert and I love meeting people and talking to people but I also can fall in the trap of just like doing that so much that I actually don't have time for anything else. And so I really try to be intentional about okay, this month, my goal is blank or my focal point is blank. I'm working on blank. And then really running these things through a filter where I'm like, Okay, I'm going to show up for this networking call. Is this in alignment with my focus for this month? Yes or no? Am I facilitating that's a different story, because obviously I'm showing up no matter what. But if I am participating, really getting clear and intentional about why I'm there who are the other people that are there in is this in alignment with what I need right now. And that has helped me quiet the noise a little bit and like get out of that FOMO mindset and really be able to focus more on am I going because I have FOMO or am I going because I'm really looking to create a collaborative partnership with somebody who does fill in the blank and I haven't quite come across that person yet. So I'm challenging myself to get into new rooms to hopefully find someone so for me monthly has been best. I don't know about you, but I go through these waves have like a paper planner where like, I love the thought of it like it feels so fun. And like I shouldn't like New Year, fun pens, stickers, all the things and then you get like three months into the year and you abandon ship, and you'll ever use it again. I've been prone to doing that a lot and haven't used one in a while. But a friend of mine introduced me to this. It's like a quarterly planner, and it's undated. So you can really start it at any time. And I really liked the way that it's laid out because it gives you your to do list, but then it also does like a focus three for the day. And so it allows my like, you know, chaotic brain to really be able to hone in and say like, what do I need, like, right now I need to get some frequent laundry done. Or right now, my kid is having a really hard week, and I need to carve out space and time to sit with her to really pour into her before she goes to bed or right now, I feel like my husband and I could desperately need a date night like whatever that looks like. I feel like it allows me to narrow it in a little bit more. So yeah, it's called hustle. sanely is the name of the brand. And it's like a quarterly undated planner. And I feel like it's like the happy marriage where it's like, it's only three months, like, yeah, do this for three months. And then you're like, Oh, I did it. I'll get another one. Oh, I did it. Oh, yeah, there one. So I've really been liking that. And I just started that going into this new year. And I feel like it's helped me stay way more focused.

36:32

I love that. I agree. I love paper planners, but I usually end up with my own version of it. Because yeah, sometimes there's like too many things that they're trying to get you to do in there. And I also have a system where we come back to okay, what are the, like, top focuses and priorities for this season? And I love that you talk about how that shows up with like, how you go to networking events, or calls or anything else to say, okay, am I doing this because of FOMO? Or am I doing this because it's gonna get me to where I want to go. And the first place I feel like I started doing that was actually acknowledging that with our family trips, or adventures, or barbecues, or any of that, where it was like, Okay, are we saying yes to this? Baby shower, barbecue friend gathering? Because we just feel like we have to? Or is it a good decision right now. And it's, I use Disneyland as an example. Because I feel like there's a lot of parental pressure to go to places like Disneyland, where sometimes it's are you going because that's like really important to your family. And your kids are actually really excited about it and their Disney Kids, or you going because you feel like that's what you're supposed to do as a parent. And I feel like it's the same thing as like, a person is like, are you going and doing that? Because you feel like you're supposed to go do that? Or are you doing that because it's actually important to you. So I feel like getting that purpose behind networking, family vacations, whatever it is, is like so important. And knowing what it is that's important to you. And to your point, it's hard to plan it for like a year later. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And

38:02

rienced that very much during: 2020

39:08

to this? Yeah, I like to think of that in my life as like energy, profits and expenses. And that's a term I've used before is this profiting me on an emotional level on a spiritual level on a just like human level? Or is this like an expense in my like, energy tank or anything else? One of the things that you speak to in your program is actually called people to profit. Right? And so when we think about the actual term profit, like revenue coming into your business or life, you talk a lot about how community leads you to that. But I think it's also in this sense that community can be an energy profit, and it can also be an energy drain. What are the ways that you help? All community leaders are all business owners, I should say, or individuals see the profit through people where someone may be listening in their life community building. I don't know it's not really fair. For me, or that doesn't apply to my business for you. And I definitely know that basically, every business I can't think of one doesn't have a place where community could be beneficial and exist. But how have you? What are some examples where maybe you've seen people not be like it's applicable? And it really is,

40:16

man, I guess it was like late: 2022

44:15

Yeah, and you specifically help business owners create and cultivate community and how that can show up. But I hope everyone's hearing like this is just as applicable. If like you can bring this into the organization that you work at, for either your co workers cultivating a community or for your clients at the organization you work at, or just like friends and family and different people like we're talking about all those examples. But yes, the actual revenue profit and where it can make you a lot of money we're specifically talking about as business owners, but I think that community is underutilized in every aspect of our lives. But yet it's this common theme that we all already have present in one way or another. So it's just like building on that one. What would you say to the introverted leader to the person that's maybe like, I see that community is important, but like, I'm not outgoing. I don't know how to step up and be the person to lead that. Yeah,

45:12

I think it's simply being very clear about what it is that you're looking for. Right? Whether you're looking for stay at home mom, friends, whether you're looking for people that are passionate about, I don't know, face, whether it's looking for business, friends, whatever it is that you're looking for getting really clear about what that is. And simply, at first, just challenging yourself to get in the room, I talk about this a lot about getting yourself in the room testing things out. Yes, in the end of the day, it's going to be reliant on you actually speaking, and like connecting with each other. But oftentimes, the first step is the hardest, right, we got to rip the band aid off, and we got to put ourselves in the ring and getting really clear. But if we don't understand what it is that we're looking for, again, we're gonna place unrealistic expectations upon the spaces that we're putting ourselves in. Because we don't really know what we want. We're like, trying to figure it out, but we're not sure. And then we're let down because we're like, well, this isn't it, but we actually didn't know what it was in the first place. And so I would say, really challenging yourself to put yourself in the room, I actually, to go back to this book, I literally just started reading this book yesterday, but I would highly recommend, she actually specifically speaks a lot to the introverted person in this find your people book by Jenny Allen. And she talks a lot about what that could look like. And really creating small circles and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help in the areas in which you need it. Because when we open up ourselves to the health, it allows it to call the energy in and really pull in the people that can help pour into us in that way. And, you know, we live in a society where you know, everyone's about image and like, what are people going to think, and they're going to judge me because my marriage is struggling, or I feel like I'm a bad mom, and my kids telling me, they hate me or I got fired from my job or whatever that looks like. But it's actually an invitation for other people to feel like it's safe for them to be vulnerable to. And that is doing just as much of a service for people as cultivating some sort of large room large gathering, it could simply be calling a friend, and saying, I'm really struggling. And I could use some help. And I feel like you're the person who could provide that help for me, and allowing yourself to open that door of communication, again, is just an invitation for another person to feel honestly special, because they're like, oh my gosh, like, they're in a vulnerable spot. And they're feeling this way. And they chose me, like of all people, they chose me and that the more you get comfortable with doing that, you know, it will evolve over the course of time in whatever capacity it needs to for you. Again, it doesn't have to be big or small. It can be either or. But I think creating that invitation for other people to feel seen and heard is a great first step, and just

48:12

pick one person. Yeah. And I love your example, too, with the email for your client, when taking it back to business is it doesn't mean that you have to launch a big event or host a meet up or be this person of spotlight in leaving your community. Like you could bring community into your business by cultivating those relationships via you writing an email, like you can sit behind the scenes and still be introverted, and cultivate community and participate in community and all these different ways. And I think so often, I hear from people that are feeling like really nervous to raise their hand or go first, that they're like, why just can't do that. It doesn't feel good to me. I don't want to do that. It's okay. But what is your version of that? And I think that sending out a connection, email and a newsletter is such a good example. Is there anything else like that specifically in like the business or even like Hobby side hustle community building area, that you could do it where it's a little less, it's kind of like this sneaky community building like you're doing it, but it's not always what we're thinking of?

49:18

Yeah, I would totally say doing like email, or podcasting, I think is great. Even if you're not in a space where you're like, I don't know if I'll be a good interviewer. I'm not going to know what to ask. Like, simply just record and start talking and allow your voice to be heard. A lot of people I actually used to do a lot of coaching in the social media space. And a lot of people have this weird mental block about putting their face to camera, right? They're like, Oh, no, I can't put my face on video. And it's like, start with your voice. Allow people to experience the tonality of your voice and your emotion and the inflections in your voice and even if they don't see your face in You're just doing it as storytelling over B roll, that still allowing people to kind of come into your world and feel immersed in experiencing you as a human being. I think we're just overcomplicating what this has to look like I think creating the email, if you have the ability, or the interest in even doing like I've Q and A's where you can go on and you're not necessarily facing everyone and like a zoom, but you're just talking to a screen and that's recording. That's a great way to create an opportunity for people to feel connected to you. Getting a blog is a great way for people to feel connected to you. I do a lot of storytelling in my emails. So generally when I write emails, I'm maybe writing one sales email a month. And really the other three emails for the month are cultivating my personal brand and really creating a personal connection with people and you guys do not overcomplicate it, I literally told the story about the unpopular opinion of liking brussel sprouts in an email. And I had like one or two people respond to the email, and are like, Oh my gosh, I love this story. So much. PSM, Team brussel sprouts, like it does not have to be anything crazy. The whole point of the email was talking about unpopular opinions and how you're not going to be for everyone. But I used brussel sprouts as an example. So I think just starting wherever feels comfortable, if it feels more comfortable to be like a one directional voice, if you will, where you're kind of just allowing your voice to be heard. Those are some great options through written or vocal format, where you can allow your voice to be heard and just people to feel a sense of connection to you. And then once you feel more comfortable with that, that can always evolve

51:42

so good. Also team brussel sprouts. But taking it back to the podcasting, you have a podcast that just launched, it tells me a little bit about who your podcast is for where everyone can find it. And where else everyone can connect with you.

51:57

e there's no better time than: 2024

53:49

it and we'll link it down below to where else can everyone connect with you get into your world. You host a free monthly community builders call for current or aspiring community builders. I love those calls for anyone that is looking to build a community or is currently a community builder. How can they get on those? Yeah, so

54:08

the best place to find me is on the gram. You can find me under the Hayley Westfall is th e h a l e y symbol Hayley don't fancy it up Westfall WESTF a l l we'll put it in the show notes as well. There is a link in my bio to join the community builders calls they are the third Friday of the month. There is one call for your aspiring or early stage community builders and then one call for our OG season builders. The conversations are very different. Don't stress if you pick the wrong lane, we can always jump you ship to the other side. If you choose that it would be a better fit for you or as you evolve. If you start in the aspiring side and eventually migrate over to the season conversation. That's an option too. But yeah, like Kelsey said they're a great opportunity in a free format to really come network, make intentional connections, brainstorm, then if you need to get feedback what After that looks like there's a link in my bio over on Instagram where you can opt in for those calls. I'm also trying to invigorate my LinkedIn. It kind of went like dormant after my corporate girl era. So if you want to come hang out with me on LinkedIn, I'm also over there under Haley Westfall, as well

55:17

What is the biggest goal for: 2024

55:50

Yeah, I think: 2024

58:23

are really important to me and the ways that I'm serving within my business in my family. So good. And I love watching it all because you're doing a great job already. For someone that's been listening to this. And they're like, Yep, okay, community building, I need my people. What is one action that they could take today? To just think about the community? Maybe they have they want as we end this episode with all these takeaways, can we bring it back to one tangible thing that they can take action on in 10 Minutes or Less today?

58:55

Yeah, I would say if you had one area of your life where you were looking for community, where would that be? I would sit down and I would write down what that is, like I've shared before. There's so many different areas that could show up whether it's in business, or in marriage or in, you know, navigating a new season of life. Or maybe your kids are, you know, you're now an empty nester. And you didn't have that season before. What is the one area of your life where you're looking for support and writing down three things that you're hoping to gain from that space? Because again, I think we get in the unfortunate spiral of not having clarity around what we're looking for. So it allows us to provide really unrealistic expectations for other people and understanding what that might look like. I think really looking for that in unconventional spaces. It doesn't have to necessarily be a paid membership. It doesn't have to be a you No formal subscription. Maybe it is, it depends on what that looks like for you. But I would really challenge you to have that, put it on a piece of paper, wherever it is put it on the screensaver on your phone, and really have that front of mind every day so that you have your eyes and ears open instead of blinders on. Right as moms were like navigating life, and we're like, I'm just trying to like bob and weave through these pylons and not hit one on my ways. I'm driving, and really trying to figure out what is front of mind, what am I looking for. And that makes it way easier when it does cross your path to recognize it, because you're kind of honing in on it every day. So a quick list, I'm looking for support in my marriage, really, I'm looking for support around stress around finances, clutter within my home, and creating a well balanced schedule for my family, whatever that looks like. Then when you have that front of mind as you come across things, whether it's on the internet or conversations, if you're looking at that list every day, it's going to become way easier for you to like, have that light bulb go off of like, hey, maybe this could be a good solution for what it is that I'm

looking for. And that was so good. Thank you so much. Definitely making that one list hitting those three areas of support so that you can receive that support and help that we want and community. Haley this was such a good conversation. I know you have to do little kid pickup. So thank you so much for being here. And I can't wait to have you back soon.

Amazing. Thank you so much. You your story

and what you have to offer this world builds me up. I want to meet you join me on Instagram at this is Kelsey Smith. And let's create a ripple effect for mamas with goals together is better