Book and Ocean try to clean up the aftermath of the deadly attack on their town, but revenge is just so distracting.

This one is basically an old Western, but without the racism.

Welcome to Oops!

All Apocalypses, a show where we explore the collapse of society by playing fun, tabletop role-playing games.

I'm your host, Stu Masterson, and I'm joined by one Baja and one Blast.

I claim Baja.

Really?

Okay.

Yeah, I wanna be the Baja.

All right.

I think Baja has good vibes.

That is fair.

I lack the good vibes.

Hey everybody, Blast here.

Dropping in.

Oh man, Blast is so cool.

Actually, I regret my choice.

It's too late.

It's mine now.

Hey everybody, Brady here, AKA Blast.

I play Book McCready, the super sleepy sleuth who is not sleepy.

I am, but that's all I've got.

That's a good energy to offer.

It's an intro of all time right there.

Thank you.

And intro of all time.

Yes, it is.

And I'm Baja Jacob.

I play Ocean, a gentle giant who has a penchant for violence, it seems.

Ooh.

I just keep killing people.

I love that.

I don't mean to, but I just keep doing it.

Pension's a fucking banger of a word.

It's a Baja of a word.

It's a Baja banger of a word.

It's a Baja blast of a word.

You know what, guys?

I can't go in saying I'm blast and then give that half-assed intro.

So give us a take two.

You gotta leave it in, but I'm going for take two, all right?

Okay, sound wacky.

Sound like you're wild and crazy, bro.

Hey everybody, I'm Brady, and I play Book McCready, a super sexy sleuth who's here to kill his arch enemy, Hickory Fleek.

You started with like a perfect Paul Lin, and then you slowly became Australian for some reason.

Yeah, it's because I can do a half decent Australian accent, that's why.

That was disgusting.

It's better than yours, mate.

I'll tell you that much.

You know, when I'm running a dungeon, like when I'm the dungeon master of like a D&D campaign, and there's like a female character, I just talk in my regular voice, because I can't even make my voice sound feminine.

I'm so bad at voices.

In a can of Bookworms, aka our worst episode ever, I tried to do Kid Book's voice, and I was like, Yeah, that's it.

I've got one Kid Book.

And when listening to it, I was like, I want to reach through my phone and snap that person's neck.

Holy shit.

I don't even remember you doing Kid Book's voice, so I don't think it must have been that long.

I think I quit it pretty quick.

He did it right after I introduced his dad's voice.

And he was trying to keep up.

Yeah.

Well, no, I was like, well, if my dad's alive, then I'm at most ten.

And ten year olds don't sound like this.

Ten year olds basically just sound like a slightly pitched up version of their regular, of a normal person's voice.

Which was too much.

It's like a five year old, four year old, five year old voice.

Well this week in our Buzzfeed presents Apocalypses.

That's a great name.

That's a great name.

I've done it.

I finally named something.

What we originally said was that each week, a different one of us is going to have to come up with the prompt.

But I don't know if we can do that.

I just thought of a prompt.

I already said it, but I got one.

If you got one, then let's do it.

I want to know which one was better.

So Stu, you have to tell us yours.

No, he's got one.

I want to save mine as long as possible.

Mine's not good, but I just thought of Buzzfeed lists, and I said it out loud, and now I really want to answer the question.

And that is, if Book or Ocean or Stu were a dog, what breed of dog would they be?

I just want to on record that I love this.

Okay, let's do it.

I always go last, so you guys have to start.

Book would be a bazithound because of the detectives.

It's lazy.

I'm just kidding.

Book is like the least detective character to ever claim to be a detective, unfortunately.

I think that's more of a matter of circumstance than anything.

I don't think that's anybody's fault, especially not mine, the person who's supposed to play a detective.

It's hard to play a smart character when you're dumb as a brick.

Exactly.

That's why I always play dumb characters.

See, to me, it's not even the intelligence thing, although I agree.

I think it's like detectives are normally very calm, cool and collected, even when they're not.

But when they're doing their important stuff, they are.

Like house, obviously, can go off the deep end.

But when he's being a detective, it's like focused, accomplished, boom.

I'm just insulting you.

I was just stalling for you.

Book McCready is a, hold for a pause, a wolf, same species as dog, just saying.

And the reason he's a wolf is because he's very loyal, and he's currently...

Wolves are literally the least loyal dog, just to interrupt you real quickly.

Absolutely not.

Yes.

They're not loyal to humans, they're loyal to their pack.

Pack animals for life, family dynamics, okay, mate for life, okay.

Those are all rumors based on people observing domesticated wolves in captivity.

They have a pack.

They're just crushing you with these wolf facts.

This isn't the spirit of Buzzfeed lists.

Buzzfeed lists aren't supposed to be scientifically accurate.

No, the misconceptions about wolves are not that they made for life and have packs, dude.

The misconception is that there's an alpha.

There is no alpha because they have family dynamics, okay?

The parents boss around the kids just like every other family, okay?

Anyway, Book is a wolf in search of his pack.

They got separated.

I kind of like that.

And also, fuck you.

I like that.

That's a good answer actually.

Yeah, fuck you too.

That's a great answer.

Bad answer, bad answer.

But I do have a better answer.

And that is Ocean would be a Tibetan Mastiff because they're big, giant, kind of scary looking like little lions.

But they're super loyal though, and good family dogs, but very, very defensive.

So like you get on the wrong bad side or you look like a threat, they will fuck you up.

So big, scary, friendly, aloof, but also can defend themselves with needed.

Plus, I think he would look like a Tibetan Mastiff.

I'm looking at a Tibetan Mastiff and they give me Ocean vibes.

Nice.

I feel like I should also put on record Book is a runt.

So he's not like a strong, powerful wolf.

He's like a little feeble wolf.

Oh, he's the beta male wolf.

Just to keep it.

No, there are no.

Jacob, we just established.

OK, you know what?

I'll allow it.

Stu, what are you?

I'm definitely a herding dog.

Certainly, I think probably a Sheltie or maybe a Border Collie.

I would prefer to be an Australian Cattle Dog, but I don't think I'm as strong enough.

You give me some Australian Shepherd vibes.

Yeah, I would love to be an Australian Shepherd.

I think Sheltie is a good pick.

I think if you had longer hair still, you'd be a Sheltie.

You used to have long hair?

He had like Bieber hair.

Oh, really?

I don't think I've ever seen you with hair like that.

We need an electric guitar.

Hey, everybody, and welcome back to Book Snook of Booktakes.

it's not a book, but it's another review, sort of.

And this week, we're talking about the show and the comic book, Invincible.

Now, I'm confused because that's not an apocalyptic media.

Ooh, that is a great show, but I'm curious how you're going to tie that into apocalyptic media here.

It's a great show and an even greater comic book run, my favorite of all time.

And let me tell you, if you've caught up with season two, you will know that at some point in season, Mark Grayson, our protagonist, finds himself in an apocalyptic wasteland in another dimension.

I just have to...

I can only talk about those two episodes.

Those are the rules.

I think it carries from one episode to the other, so those two episodes.

And let me tell you, man, just a phenomenal show in general, but in particular, those two episodes are very faithful to the comic series.

And they do a great job of really showing us Mark Grayson's desperation in the face of what he thinks is his literal doom.

And we also really start to see his psyche kind of crack at the seams.

And it's really exciting to see because having read the full comic book run, I know all of the crazy and exciting directions that it goes.

And for people who don't know, I imagine it's just as exciting because fucking crazy shit happens and has already happened, and it's about to happen, and you have no fucking idea.

Can you describe this apocalyptic world he goes to?

Yeah, so basically what we're looking at is a...

think of like Gobi Desert or Sahara Desert, just dunes to the horizon, and you see the crumpled peaks of skyscrapers that kind of poke out of the sand.

Ooh, that's a cool visual.

And there's literally no one else alive.

Like, it is completely empty, and that's why he starts to go crazy, because he is all alone.

I have not seen the second season, but I got a little bit spoiled on some stuff that happens in the second season.

And are these two episodes the episodes where the line I thought you were stronger comes from?

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Okay, I need to watch the second season, because I loved the first season so much.

I don't normally like really hyper-violent stuff.

Like, I was not a fan of the boys.

It earns it, though.

That's why I really liked Invincible, is that it's hyper-violent, but it's not like...

It is pretty gratuitous, but it serves the narrative.

And it serves the theme.

Yeah, and it's just a great contrast with a protagonist like Mark, who is just like the embodiment of the OG Spider-Man style character, of the great power, the great responsibility, trying his best with this hyper-violent world.

And he's quippy and funny, but also really tries hard to do the right thing.

Exactly.

And I think that's why I really liked Invincible as a series, is that unlike other series where the point is showing the sparkling white knight character hero being corrupted and turned evil and all that jazz, like the boys and all that jazz, spinning the term, with Invincible, it's not really like that.

Mark is, throughout the whole thing, he's still trying his best to do good, and it's just the psychological toll it takes on him to do the right thing.

Right.

And one of my favorite things both about the series and the comic book is that his chosen moniker of Invincible is such a misnomer because he gets his ass kicked.

Yeah, he's very invincible.

Pretty much every episode.

But it's really more about his indomitable spirit than it is his almost indestructible body.

He is literally just constantly, like Spider-Man, getting knocked down and getting back up.

Jacob, I highly recommend you read the comic book.

I really wanted to after watching the first season, but I heard that...

What's the name of the author?

Robert Kirkman.

I was about to say Grant Kirkhope, and I'm like, that does not sound correct.

I think Grant...

Morrison.

Grant Morrison, yeah.

Does The Invisibles.

Yes, he does The Invisibles.

He also did Dark Knight Returns, maybe?

I think Grant Kirkhope is the guy that does the Banjo-Kazooie soundtrack, so I definitely know I'm incorrect.

Hell yeah.

Banjo-Kazooie is a little closer to post-apocalyptic than what we've been talking about.

That's true.

Banjo-Kazooie is quite post-apocalyptic.

I think this is a great excuse to talk about a great show, Stu.

I could gush about Invincible for ages.

I'm allowing it, but I hate it.

Stu, watch Invincible, please.

I won't, because I'm so sour on it now.

I was all excited to, but now I was like, ooh, I get to hear about the fun apocalypse part.

And then we talked about everything else.

So now I'm just going to go read the Invisibles again.

There's another series that I think we recommend in the podcast that we really had to stretch the meaning of apocalyptic for.

Is it our own podcast?

Planet of the Apes?

No, both of those are pretty post-apocalyptic, I feel.

No promises, but I feel like during this episode, we're probably going to have a beginning obsession and end obsession moves.

So we should hurry up and get back to the action.

Stu's stifling our talk.

Yes.

Book had just opened his mind to the psychic maelstrom and completely failed his role, which caused an ear-piercing screech that seems to have disabled all of the silent in the complex.

Weird that that seems like a good thing.

Yeah, and outside the fighting stops, you stop hearing gunshots.

There's just a ton of cloudy smoke, collapsed silent, and a building that is completely lit.

Is Kara breathing?

Give me a read of Central.

I got an 11.

Ask me three questions.

Four questions, you bastard.

Four questions.

Who's in control here?

What should I be on the lookout for?

Who here would do what I ask?

And how close are the wolves?

Okay, for who's in control here, there's definitely somewhat of a state of anarchy right now, right?

There's no clear leadership for any of Hickory's men, don't know where Hickory is, if he's okay.

But there's still some level of the AI has to be involved in this, or they wouldn't have turned all those lights on, things like that.

When you try to, when you use your sniff the wind to try to feel how close the wolves are, for the first time since you've been in the stew probably, you do not feel like there's any anywhere near you.

Right now, you feel like with, if you try to take credit for what you just did, Hickory's men would probably fall behind you, and especially like the Goodwill Ocean one over two.

So you guys together, you think you could get Hickory's men to somewhat kind of follow directions, at least for the time being.

And what you should be on the lookout for is you start hearing a couple very non-sequential gunshots, and you think some of Hickory's men may just be straight up executing some of the silent that have collapsed.

Is she breathing?

Yes.

Okay, I jump back to the intercom, and I say, people of, what would these be?

Hamlet opening?

Yeah, well, no, no, no, no, but specifically Hickory's men.

Cohorts of Hickory.

This is Book McCready.

Ocean and I have returned to thwart this threat.

They are temporarily disabled, and they must be helped.

They are people like us who have been under the control of a machine.

Please bind any of our attackers who you find that are still alive and bring them to the entranceway.

Also, Ocean, if you're listening, I need you here right now, please.

Ocean looks around and Book says he needs you right now.

He books it.

He starts booking it over.

You run over there.

Book, give me a Sway Someone rule.

God damn it.

I rolled a nine.

Can Ocean help?

I was just about to ask, does my previous actions at all help at all for this?

No, I don't think so.

Well, you're a rat bastard.

I think this would have to be something you're helping with now, not some previous event.

You charge into the intercom room, which looks like it looks just like a high school principal's room, especially with the light on here.

And as you open the door, you see Kara collapsed on the ground and Book standing over the intercom.

Book, what happened?

I think Book just says, you have to help her and then passes out.

Okay, well, let's put Ocean in a bind.

If Book actually does fall to the ground and pass out, Ocean runs over to Book, and he is going to attempt to lay hands on Book.

Give me a healing touch roll.

That is exactly a seven.

Choose two.

I'm going to stop the bleeding and take the pain away.

Book, you heal too.

Back up as you feel this warm glow over you and you regain consciousness.

You feel a lot better, but as you go to stand up, your leg doesn't seem to want to move like it's supposed to.

Hell yeah.

Hence the cane.

Ocean puts his hands on Book, he's like, I'm going to call for help.

We'll get you out of here.

Let me, I'm going to go check on Kara.

And he runs over and he checks on her and sees that she's still breathing and kind of shakes, he's like, Kara, Kara.

She does not wake up.

At that point, he's going to also attempt to healing touch on her.

Okay, give me a healing touch with disadvantage since you chose Book first.

Yeah.

Does my minus one ongoing still apply or do you think it's resolved?

No, the battle's over.

Yes, thank God.

Your minus one ongoing is done.

I was an eight then for the last roll.

Not that it mattered with disadvantage.

Okay, it was a four and a one, but I have plus two weirds.

So that is a total of a seven.

Choose two.

I'm going to say purge the disease, purge any illness and disease and take pain away because I don't think she's physically injured.

So you go and you put your hands on Kara just like she did to you.

And this warm, glowing light comes out and it seems to like almost jolt through her entire system.

And she sits up and gasps.

It's cool.

Oh, what the fuck happened?

She turns to Book and says, Book, what what happened?

Book is gone.

Book has walked out of the room and he's now using his cane as a cane.

And he kind of staggers into that front hallway.

As he walks into it, he's expecting people to be executing the collapsed silent.

And I want to use my stern presence.

Do I see that happening basically?

Or people preparing to do that?

Uh, not from here, no.

Okay, what do I see?

You see a bunch of people who are tremendously injured, taking care of the wounded mostly.

You see several collapsed silent.

You see one that's like haphazardly kind of, someone put like a heavy board on top of them.

Okay, um, I want to walk in and I'm going to yell.

Um, I want to, I was going to...

I don't know how your stern presence would help you here.

If you explain that.

Um, I'll tell you in a minute once I figure out what I want to say.

Um, I walk in the center of the room.

Basically, I just want to yell, like, I want to yell, who's in control here?

But that's not something that a human would say.

Who's in command?

Yeah, that's good.

Uh, I want to, who's in command here?

And I want to use my stern presence, which I have to roll for.

Roll hard.

Shit.

Oh, no.

Okay, well, then I don't get to...

One of the things I get from stern presence is, if anyone here needs your help, they meet and hold your eyes, which is what I wanted.

But I rolled a five, minus one, which is four.

Uh, you hear someone, you can't pinpoint who exactly, but they go, fuck you!

Can I roll stern presence again if I yell fuck you back?

Nope.

It's when you enter a situation.

They seem to be mostly ignoring you, trying to take care of each other now.

You notice some people going towards the courtroom.

Okay, I want to follow them.

It opens up, it looks like a bomb's gone off in here.

Cause one has?

And there's a ton of rubble against the door to Hickory's office.

And they go and they're starting to try to clear it out.

I guess I'll...

I don't want to help them.

I want to go...

No, I guess I'll go help them, yeah.

I go help them.

Give me an Act Under Fire roll.

That was an 11.

An 11?

I've gotten 3 XP just from Cool today.

And an improvement!

Oh, nice!

I think it's only fair that I get plus one to my Cool, since I've rolled Cool so much today.

Although, I really want to move from an unused playbook, but I don't want to figure that out right now.

You can figure it out later if you want.

No, I've got plus 3 to Cool now.

Oh shit, the coolest man around.

Hell yeah.

The coolest and sharpest man around.

You said you're helping them out?

Mm-hmm.

They start moving across this rubble.

You're not able to help too much in your infirm condition, but eventually they get it out of the way.

Are you trying to get in there or what?

Mm-hmm.

They see you moving with purpose and from your previous sway and stuff, they kind of get out of the way for you to be the first one in the door.

And as they move the last little big huge bar of some bench that got blown all the way, I think we called them court pews before, that got blown in front of it, the door seems open enough for you to kind of step over some rubble, rubble, step over some rubble and walk into it.

And the second you open the door, you see a completely disheveled hickory fleek stumbling around and he locks eyes with you, pulls up his revolver and shoots you right in the shoulder.

Oh shit!

You take one harm.

And he goes, I'm so fucking tired of you two.

What the hell is going on?

Give me a harm roll.

Harm roll?

You do hear gunshot, Ocean, no?

I rolled the six, but I don't know how harm...

It should be six minus one.

Okay, then I rolled the five.

When Ocean hears the gunshot, he's going to start heading that way.

He's like, Kara, can you walk?

Yeah, yeah, I should be fine.

Okay, and he starts running towards where the gunshot was.

Wait, do I have history with Hickory?

I do, I have zero history.

Can I...

I know this is kind of retroactive, but can I try to interrupt him?

Like, anticipate that he's going to shoot me and try to interrupt him?

Yeah, you can do that.

I rolled a nine plus zero, which is nine, and I'd like to try to use my cane to batter away his gun before he's able to shoot me.

You know Hickory plus zero, which is still an amount.

But you've been around Hickory, you know how he works.

And right when you're opening this door, kind of a thought flashes through your mind, and you're like, he may not be too happy to see me.

So you prepare with your sword, you swing it open and like immediately swing, and you hear this gunshot go off, and you deflected it just enough to miss.

And then you feel both of Hickory's men immediately grab your arms, and one of them hits you on the back of the head, and you're just out.

I thought this was going to be a triumphant fucking...

walking in there.

You didn't say there's anybody in there with him first.

The two people who helped you.

Fuck them!

Ocean, you hear a gunshot.

You can definitely tell it's coming from the courtroom.

You run to the courtroom, push the doors open like Aragorn, and you see that Book seems unconscious and is being dragged by two of Hickory's men, and Hickory is stumbling out of his door with his gun in his hand.

Kill him.

And he looks at you with complete fury.

Ocean pulls out his gun and points it straight at Hickory and says, Put the man down.

Give me a confront someone role.

Oh my god, that's a 12!

Hell yeah.

So he pulls out the gun, points it at Hickory and says, Put the man down.

That doesn't seem like a great way to be thanking your savior.

He thinks for a really long time.

He keeps the gun pointed right at you.

And he's like shaking his head.

And then he just takes a couple steps back.

And he still has the gun, but he pulls it down.

And he goes, Fuck it.

Let him go.

Let's drop him.

And you get collapsed onto the floor, Book.

And your head starts ringing, but you regain consciousness.

We just saved your ass, Hickory.

Talk to the men.

You'll know it's true.

Do I look fucking safe to you?

And he like holds his arms out and looks out around the courtroom, which is just the smoldering mess.

It wasn't us, Hickory.

It was the silent.

It was the fucking silent.

The people we've been warning you about this entire time.

They attacked us.

I don't know who that is.

Ask your men.

They witnessed the whole thing.

And one of the guys near him is like, Yeah, there were these other people who came.

They had like these like crazy masks on.

They were shooting up the place.

They had some crazy good weapons.

I think we can scrounge up a lot of them.

And Book and I came in to save your ass.

And you reward them by hitting them in the face and shooting at them.

Book, I think, is able to stand up by now, maybe?

And he says, You're not scrounging up anything.

You didn't defeat that force.

We did.

Those weapons are ours.

And so is this building.

Give me a confront someone roll.

Do I roll plus what?

Minus aggro.

Joke's unused to.

My aggro is zero now.

So I rolled a nine.

Make sure he looks down at you.

And he goes, If you get out of here right now, I won't shoot you.

Book?

And he holds his gun up to you.

Book draws his sword at that same moment and points it at his neck.

What do you do, Ocean?

We'll leave.

But we want all the silent here that are still alive.

The people who attacked us?

They didn't attack out of their own will.

They're being controlled.

And I can make them not.

Give me a sway, someone.

I think.

That's a five.

He turns to one of the men near him, and he goes, How many people you have left?

And he goes, I don't know.

It's been crazy, but probably at least a dozen.

And he goes, Well, that sounds like enough to deal with Book and Ocean, at least.

Book drives his sword into Hickory's throw.

Give me an attack, someone.

Actually give me a do battle.

Well, it doesn't matter.

I rolled a three.

God fucking damn it.

Why does this?

Oh, actually, three minus one, I rolled a two.

A two.

That's one of the low stuff.

Oh, God.

And you lunge at him, but you are a little more further away than you expected.

You have to like take a few steps to try to pierce it into him.

And he takes a step back and puts a bullet right into your chest.

Oh, shit.

And you collapse.

What do you do, Ocean?

How many harm do I take?

You take two damage.

All right.

When they shoot Ocean, when they shoot Book, Ocean is going to shout, No!

And he fires.

He kind of sprays his machine gun out to kind of provide some covering fire and make them all duck down.

And he's going to run to grab Book.

OK, give me.

I think this is also a confront someone.

Yeah, that is a nine.

Why are you making them duck?

Just kill this dude.

I'm so sick of this fucking guy.

They dive out of the way.

But you see one of the men does start reaching for a gun and he starts like reloading it.

He doesn't seem like he was expecting there to be a fight any time soon.

But you have an opportunity to go and grab Book up, scoop him up.

Yeah, I grab Book.

I turn around.

Can I have a grenade?

Yeah, you can have a grenade.

Ocean reeks in the bag, pulls out a grenade and rolls it to Hickory's feet, grabs Ocean and Book and starts rolling books out of the runs out of the building.

OK, give me a do battle roll.

That's an 11.

Which one do you want the full success on?

I want to attack somebody.

And I'm going to say I want to pin them down and get them out of my way.

Is Book still conscious?

Yes, we're conscious.

While Book is carrying me away, can I lift up my revolver and try to shoot Hickory in the head?

Yeah, if you want to.

Maybe with maybe with disadvantage since I'm being bounced around his shoulder.

You can do it'll be a do battle.

That's fine.

Give me a do battle.

Well, that's plus hard, right?

Yes.

I rolled a seven.

You get a mixed success on both.

Ocean, you flick the pin off the top of this grenade and roll it right to their feet.

And there's this immediate look of surprise on everyone's face as you turn and scoop up Book and start running directly out of the room.

Book, as you try to hold on to consciousness while you're being jostled around, you reach into your jacket, pull out your pistol, put it right on Ocean's shoulder and let off a single shot.

At first, you can't even tell if it hits Hickory, but then there's this pool of red that just appears right above his spleen as he staggers back, raises his own revolver, and shoots right into the back of Ocean.

Ocean, you feel this bullet tear right through, like right under your lungs, and it blows all the way through into you, Book, and you both take to harm.

Ocean, Book immediately goes limp in your arms, but you remain focused and run out of the door and I assume dive to the ground right as a large explosion occurs behind you.

What do you do?

Ocean looks for Kara.

Kara's right outside the door.

He looks at Kara and says, Kara, we gotta go.

And are the two silent that we're helping him still there?

Yes.

Okay, he says, grab those two and let's get out of here.

They are unconscious, sorry.

Does that make sense?

Yes.

Oh.

Sorry, I don't know if I was clear with that.

Those ones are unconscious.

Oh, I know, I'm carrying Book, because Book is pretty rough right now, right?

No, Book is dead.

Book is dead right now, okay.

Book is dead right now, that's okay.

It's not okay.

Ocean wants to duck down, put his hand on one of the silent to try and pull him up like he did Kara.

So he's gonna use healing touch on one of them to try and get them to wake up.

Give me your healing touch roll.

That is an eight.

I'll do the same thing I did with Kara which was take the pain away and purge disease slash infection.

Okay, yeah, he kind of more, not as aggressively jolts up.

He kind of groggily shakes his head.

He's like, okay.

And he's like, grab that guy.

We gotta go, we gotta go.

He'll grab him and follow you.

Okay, and then.

We're just running.

I feel like you should try to get all of this silent.

Where are you running to?

I don't think I can.

There's, Hickory has 12 people, right?

No, but Hickory, there was only the two people in that room that saw Hickory.

Meanwhile, you come out, and you're a hero to all the people you freaking saved.

You have an opportunity to sway them.

That is true.

I think it would be way cooler if Hickory runs out and finds that his own forces.

You do have a unmoving, unbreathing book in your arms.

How would you react to that?

I think would probably be your most driving factor right now.

Ocean's driving factor is he wants to get Book to Maple.

Maple's the doctor?

Yes.

So he is going to try and get to the spider.

The spider is at the library.

That is right.

I sent it away.

Is there a vehicle nearby that he can grab?

Hickory's men have shitty cars.

Nothing too fancy.

Ocean runs up to one of the cars and yells at Hickory's men.

He's like, my man, I need to get my guy to a doctor.

Can I take this car?

And his keys are in the visor.

I guess he's going to put Ocean in the book in the trunk.

In the trunk?

In the trunk?

It's a truck, you said?

It can be a pickup truck.

That's what I meant, in the back, with the silent people to hold on to him.

And he is going to drive out of there.

As you peel off to Maple's place, we will do our end of session moves.

First, we should deal with, how are you coming back, Book?

I'm not.

I'm dead.

Your life is untenable.

You're not dead yet.

Are you choosing to die?

I don't know.

Seems a little soon to choose to die.

I don't really want to come back with minus one hard.

That kind of sucks.

I'm already fucking weak as shit.

I could return to play with a new playbook, but that's a lot of work.

That could be fun.

That could be a lot of fun.

Book could go full cult leader now.

Yeah, there is a cult leader playbook.

Do you still have all his improvements and moves when he comes back with a new playbook?

You keep anything that makes sense, basically.

They mostly build on each other.

But I feel like Minus One Heart also makes a lot of sense because I've gotten riddled with bullets lately.

Yeah, because you've just been kind of crippled.

I'm returning to play with Minus One Heart.

Your boy is just racked with fricking...

He's got adult rickets.

Where do you want this severe wound to have been?

I think it should be...

You mentioned his leg, which I liked because of the cane situation.

I kind of feel like it would be fun if he just has a permanent limp.

Yeah, he can have a doctor house thing.

The Watson from The Sherlock Show, a psychosomatic limp.

You come to in Maple's Place.

Your vision is fuzzy.

You're still in a lot of pain, and your leg is completely splinted up right now.

You see you're getting blood transfused to you.

You're one of the few people in town who's probably worried it's the right type.

I flip open my almanac to the blood type section, and I point it to...

No, I'm just kidding.

Yeah, that would be in there.

That's great.

That would have been great for these.

But you don't know your own blood type.

It was probably written on your chart that got left behind when you got taken from the lobby of the tower.

That is probably true, actually.

Who is around me right now?

Ocean is also getting severe medical attention, but he is conscious.

The head of the Suvius is put on a pillow next to you.

He is currently sleeping.

Kara seems relatively fine and is talking to Maple as you come to, and you don't see the other silent there at all right now.

Is anybody within arm's reach?

Yeah, Ocean.

You're on side by side beds.

I flip over, and I want to grab Ocean by the scruff of his shirt.

Not the scruff of his shirt.

What do you call it?

Grab him by his collar.

I want to pull him up so he's sitting upright.

Where is Hickory?

I don't know.

Last I saw him, I threw a grenade at him, and you shot him.

So I'm hoping dead.

Hope isn't enough.

But I didn't see.

I want to try to get up.

Okay, you do.

It's incredibly painful.

But you want to hobble back to the courthouse?

No.

I think that would be dramatic.

No.

We need to get to the library.

I agree.

Maple, you should pack a bag and meet us there.

Yeah, I can tell I'm not going to be able to change your mind, but I should come with you.

You guys are not okay.

Here, drag this with you.

And he has the transfusion bag on the IV pole.

What's my harm at right now?

Right now, you guys are stable, but still the same.

But you guys will be able to heal more soon.

Spoilers, I don't think I'm going to attack you while you're in the library.

Unless you guys do something really bad.

I brought some people in with us.

Do you know where they went?

Kara's there with you.

And she goes, yeah, he's just kind of trying to clear his head.

I think he's just out front.

Is the other one here?

Yeah, he's still unconscious.

Here, let me, let me add him.

And Ocean walks over to him, kind of hobbles over, and he's going to try and do the same thing he did to the other two.

Try to heal.

Eventually, one of these will fail.

One of these, but it's not likely, because even on a mixed success, I still get two.

And yeah, that's a nine.

I'll do the same thing, same two.

He comes to, and he looks at himself to make sure he's not injured.

And he's like, what the fuck happened?

You don't have to explain it now.

It seems to work for you.

I was about to say, it's a long story.

We're heading over to the library.

It's a place we're going to meet up with some friends, I guess.

You guys are welcome to come with.

I don't think you're probably welcome back at the tower after this.

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised.

As you head there, Book, give me your follower role with advantage, since you sent Frida out to gather people.

And if you roll a 12 or higher, Beethoven will be there.

Oh, come on.

Give me that 12 or higher.

Not a 12.

Oh, only a full success.

All your real friends will be there, but not Beethoven.

Damn it.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

We'll have another opportunity one day.

You make your way to the library, which is mostly like the roof has completely collapsed, but the four walls still stand up pretty good.

And it's very nice doors that you open up.

And inside, you see Frieda, you see Johnny Hertz, you see Crandall, you see Den Wallace, you see Calista, you see Captain Noodles, you see a man in a very nice suit that's very ill-fitting, that looks familiar, but you can't pinpoint who it is.

You see Juniper, you see the spider.

He brought it into the loop.

Is Tabasco or Crash, whichever one, didn't die there?

Give me a read-a-sitch.

Well, I accidentally rolled it with advantage.

Hold on, let me re-roll.

Okay, that's a nine.

You look at the man in the nice suit, and he looks like he could be Crash's brother.

He looks like a relative of Crash.

But definitely not Crash.

No way, Crash looked nothing like this, but he has the exact same scars on his face.

He walks up to you and says, it's great to see you.

It's me, Crash U.

Crash U?

Yeah, I'm on the up and up now.

I've left behind my old life.

Did you say Crash U, like Cash U?

No, like Matthew, but it's Crash, but like a full Christian name.

Huh, I shake his hand.

Crash U, yeah.

I'm not the same person you knew before.

I've gone through a lot of changes.

I'm sorry about Tabasco.

Yeah, it was a real eye-opening moment for me, but I understood it had to happen.

Uh-huh.

But one day, I've made it my solemn swear that I'm gonna kill the Grief Lake.

That's the only way I will be truly happy if I get to see that light leave his eyes.

So I've just really dedicated my life to that, and I know I'll be okay as long as I have that cold.

I slap him on the shoulder, and I go, Good luck, man.

Thank you.

You've always been so kind to me.

I did light you on fire that one time.

That was pretty funny.

To be fair, you tried to light me on fire first.

Yeah, but you did good not being on fire.

Everyone's looking to you expectantly.

They're all like sitting in like a semi-circle on like random tables and stools.

There's a lot of guns out on the table.

Ocean sits down and he turns to Book and says, well, boss, what's the plan?

Book, leaning heavily on his cane, walks over to one of those wheelie carts that you have at school with a VHS player and a little TV, and he plugs it into the wall socket.

And then he turns off the lights, and you hear some fumbling, and then you see the video pop up that Book and Ocean filmed.

Ooh, the real video.

The real video.

We told you something was going on.

We told you that something was wrong.

We told you to look after this fucking guy in particular.

Sorry, Vesuvius.

Do you want me to be quiet, or is it okay that I can talk?

No, you can talk.

I actually think that probably, I don't know, emphasizes my point, which is that we told you to have people watch him, and now things have gotten worse, and it's not Ocean's and my fault.

I think Vesuvius will back this up.

It was his torso.

It was my torso.

That did a blowing up.

That did a blowing up.

That did a blowing up, yeah.

And I'm just real frustrated.

I'm just real frustrated.

I'm sorry I wasn't at the town hall.

I wanted to be there.

I was unconscious owing to his torso.

But listen, the deal's still on if you want it to be, and if you don't, then you don't have to worry about us anymore.

The lights go back.

I turn the lights back on.

Some of you may recognize this footage.

I hold up the tape.

Dan, I'm sure you remember curing this to Hickory for me.

Not long after we told Hickory the truth about what was going on, Hickory and his men took that video and altered it to make me out to be a threat.

And they've been using that video as leverage to try to capture and hold Ocean and I to prevent us from doing what we needed to do to protect this town.

Now, Hickory's forces have been demolished by a force that we warned Hickory about months ago.

I don't know if it was months ago.

How long ago was it?

We did warn him about it, but it was...

Yeah, we warned him about it when we did the...

Yeah, with the courthouse, right?

We warned him of stuff is the point.

Now, Hickory's forces have been demolished by a force that we warned him about, by a threat that we warned him about.

And once again, it fell upon us to save this town.

And now, it falls upon us to make the difficult decision of who is going to lead it into the future.

And that is why we will be...

Crash U stands up and straightens his lapels.

Yeah.

I motion for Crash to come up.

And that is why we'll be leading a force to take over Hickory's compound.

We will be capturing Hickory.

We will be capturing a number of forces that try to invade our town.

We will try to rehabilitate them, but we will not be trying to rehabilitate Hickory.

We will be, and when I say we, I mean Crash U, we'll be executing him publicly to send the message that we will not stand for tyrannical figures.

Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode.

Join us next Wednesday for the next episode of Oops!

All Apocalypses.

I know when my friends tell me that there's like a podcast they really like, I really intend to listen to it.

But sometimes I forget about it before I add it to whatever podcatcher I use.

And then a couple of weeks later, I sit there just feeling like a bad friend.

You don't want your friends to feel like this, so send them a link to stu.cool slash listen, that's S-T-U, and then it'll be right in their little phone and they can start listening to us without any trouble.

The music and editing was performed by Stu Masterson.

Brady McDonough made that logo, and Jacob oils all our phonographs.

Love you, bye.

Book, you take two harm.

Ocean, you also take two harm.

Oh, why are you trying to kill me, Stu?

You did battle, you take damage.

Do you want to roll back that?

Ocean just rolled a grenade, though.

Yeah, that's his do battle.

Now the grenade's gonna explode.

Yes.