Learn Something, Move Forward
Taking stock of lapses by learning something and moving forward is the only way to put it behind you.
Each time we do the thing we promised we would never do again we tend to beat ourselves up. We often treat it like we are never going to get past it, we think we are lost, unworthy and powerless.
That wallowing and self pitying approach keeps us from learning. It keeps us from figuring out the next thing we need to learn to move forward with life in a way that creates the person that we want to be.
The moment you let yourself be the object of your own pity and scorn you've lost the opportunity to learn from what happened and you're likely to make the same mistake in the future.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
― Thomas Edison
This is where the purposeful practice of Learn Something, Move Forward comes into play.
When mistakes occur, because they will, take the time to learn from them. This practice is one of self reflected love. Viewing our mistakes the way our parents would have viewed our stumbling baby steps as we learned to walked. With eagerness for us to learn and grow. Not with scorn, derision and shame.
In my program I often have people work through one of the many micro courses I teach to learn something and move forward.
Often their response is, “I know that I’m not supposed to use pornography already” or “I already know that I want to stop this habit.”
What they are looking at is the end result, expecting that they already know everything they need to know about the way they are thinking, how they are processing their emotions and how they are required to behave so they can feel worthy, strong and lovable.
Let’s take the example of a baby learning to walk.
Baby sees running, starts to run and falls on face and cries
No inspection of movement,
No testing of skills
No trial and error
Just “I’m supposed to be able to run”
Falling on face and crying
How long would it take for that baby to learn
What will that baby miss
How will that baby learn
Questions you can ask yourself.
What did I view and how long that wasn’t planned?
What was the Situation that started this lapse?
What was the feeling or desire I had?
What was the thought that caused the desire or urge?
Did I try to resist or did I just react?
Did I try to allow the urge? What worked and what didn’t?
What did I learn?
What will I do next time?
How can I let this go now?
How do I want to feel about this moving forward?