If you're like most people, you might think your values are things like; honesty, integrity, trust, or some code of morality. These are probably not really your own personal values. Gain a deeper understanding of the difference between social idealisms and how true values are as specific to you as your fingerprint as well as the 7 primary fears that can hold you back and immobilize you, keeping you from realizing the ways in which you are already expressing your highest values.
All 7 areas of your life can be empowered when you become congruent with your intentions and your highest individual values and life mission.
USEFUL LINKS:
Free Masterclass | Increase Your Deserve Level: demartini.fm/youdeserve
Learn More About The Breakthrough Experience: demartini.fm/experience
Learn More About The Demartini Method: demartini.fm/demartinimethod
Determine Your Values: demartini.fm/knowyourvalues
Claim Your Free Gift: demartini.fm/astro
Join our Facebook community: demartini.ink/inspired
Mentioned in this episode:
The Breakthrough Experience
For More Information or to book for The Breakthrough Experience visit: demartini.fm/seminar
You're epistemological yearning to learn is spontaneously in your highest value
Speaker:and your teleological meaning and purpose is derived from your highest value.
Speaker:So if you wonder why I spend so much time on that is because the very core drive
Speaker:of mastery and human behavior.
Speaker:Is that. Today I'm going to talk about.
Speaker:Your core values and also how they play a role in
Speaker:fear and how to breaking through those fears that we might associate
Speaker:and helping us empower the areas of our
Speaker:life, the primary areas, which I'll outline. So
Speaker:for many years, I've been studying human values.
Speaker:And when most people think of human values,
Speaker:many times they jump to the conclusion that that's all about morals and ethics.
Speaker:And there's no doubt that morals and ethics are derived from the study of
Speaker:values, which the formal study is called axiology.
Speaker:So if you want to go and play with that word with your friends, that's great,
Speaker:but it's a study of value and worth, human value and worth.
Speaker:What you evaluate and what you value and what it's worth to you.
Speaker:So it's an economic, as well as spiritual area of the study.
Speaker:And there.
Speaker:Has been a term called the core and the crusted values,
Speaker:the core and crusted values.
Speaker:But when I went and studied values and I think I've read over 400 books on this
Speaker:topic and the literature is quite spread and
Speaker:it's to be expected because there's different levels
Speaker:each of the writers have different levels of awareness.
Speaker:And the lowest level of awareness is highly polarized absolutest
Speaker:construct of values and the ones that are more broader in minded
Speaker:and more aware in my opinion anyway,
Speaker:is somebody who has a more universal
Speaker:relativistic construct of values. Montaigne,
Speaker:who was a French philosopher,
Speaker:traveled around the world and tried to find a universally ascended value system
Speaker:and was unable to find it,
Speaker:and studying values MacIntyre's work you'll see that
Speaker:it's basically something that a bunch of idealists that come up with an idea of
Speaker:how we're supposed to be, but nobody lives by.
Speaker:It's like you're supposed to be nice, never mean, kind, never cruel,
Speaker:but then that's not real. You have times when you're mean,
Speaker:and you're cruel at times.
Speaker:And so I'm not interested in moral hypocrisies to base my
Speaker:life on.
Speaker:And I don't want to teach you that because it's something you can obtain and it
Speaker:will be self depreciative. But I am interested in,
Speaker:in looking at how values work in the brain and elaborate on that.
Speaker:So if you've got a pencil and paper, you might want to write some notes.
Speaker:I have a feeling there'll be something worth here.
Speaker:When people think of core,
Speaker:they think of the primary things that they're really committed to.
Speaker:But when I actually go through and study core values in the literature,
Speaker:if you go online and just start looking up core values,
Speaker:you will discover absolutely social
Speaker:idealisms. Now Kohlberg,
Speaker:who was a psychologist and studied the moral
Speaker:development of human beings, outlined
Speaker:a little stages of awareness and so this, you may want to write:
Speaker:the first and lowest moral structure is avoiding pain and seeking pleasure.
Speaker:So if something pricks you, or hurts you, whatever, is pain, you'll avoid it.
Speaker:And if something is pleasureful or tasty, sweet or something, you'll seek it.
Speaker:So bitter and pain you avoid and sweet and pleasure, you seek.
Speaker:This is our survival animal nature.
Speaker:Literally single celled organisms will avoid toxins and seek tonins,
Speaker:avoid pain, seek pleasure, avoid bitter, seek sweet. In fact,
Speaker:our first differentiation of a food versus something you don't eat
Speaker:was alkaloids where things you avoided and sweets and sugars you ate.
Speaker:So mankind human beings out in original nature,
Speaker:learned to avoid pain and seek pleasure or avoid bitter,
Speaker:seek sweet this kind of thing.
Speaker:So our most primitive form of moral structures is avoiding pain and seeking
Speaker:pleasure. Then Kohlberg says, then we learn,
Speaker:and that by the way,
Speaker:that occurs in children from about zero to one years of age.
Speaker:And if you notice as a parent,
Speaker:you can allow your child to do just about anything the first year,
Speaker:until it walks, you know,
Speaker:it can pee and poo and you know,
Speaker:vomit and do everything and you just kind of deal with it and just giggle it and
Speaker:laugh it off sometimes, a little embarrassing and stuff and aggravating,
Speaker:but you don't really have a judgment on the child that first year.
Speaker:And during that time,
Speaker:it learns to avoid and seek according to pain and pleasure and sweet and bitter.
Speaker:But when you hit around one year of age and the child starts to stand up,
Speaker:all of a sudden, mommy usually comes in and says, 'No. No. Yes. No.'
Speaker:It starts putting in these rules to make her have sanity.
Speaker:And for the sake of socialization, that's least, that's what it's told,
Speaker:but it's really based on the projection of the values of the parent onto the
Speaker:child, on what supports and challenges the parents.
Speaker:But Kohlberg says that there's a second stage after pain and pleasure,
Speaker:and that is the,
Speaker:you might say the subordination to individual authority.
Speaker:The subordination individual authority, it starts with mothers, then fathers,
Speaker:then preachers,
Speaker:then teachers and preachers could be any form of spiritual instructor.
Speaker:And as we go through that stage,
Speaker:that goes on to probably around 12, age 12,
Speaker:all the way through elementary primary school, that evolves from mother first,
Speaker:because father doesn't really interact a lot at first, then father,
Speaker:as it gets three or four years old,
Speaker:and then it starts to get to out of the breastfeeding and
Speaker:diaper phase, it goes to father and mother.
Speaker:And then it goes to preacher when they take them to some sort of religious
Speaker:instruction and then teacher at school. And this becomes now,
Speaker:they start to inculcate and inject some of the values of people they depend on.
Speaker:So they depend on mommy, for sure, without that, there's not much survival.
Speaker:They depend on daddy cause he can, you know,
Speaker:make a right and wrong for the family in his rules. And what it is,
Speaker:is you're now subordinating to a mother's value system that's been developed or
Speaker:the father's value system, which developed.
Speaker:And then you eventually go onto a preacher,
Speaker:because then all of a sudden the mother and father is sitting there listening to
Speaker:a preacher and thinking, 'Well,
Speaker:that's the values you're doing.' And it's an introduction to socialization.
Speaker:And then eventually teacher. And of course, when the teacher starts doing it,
Speaker:when you hit up until about 12, you still depend completely on your parents,
Speaker:you haven't had your puberty yet,
Speaker:you haven't had your yearning for independence exactly yet,
Speaker:and so you subordinate in that, and Kohlberg calls that the second phase.
Speaker:He actually breaks it up into seven or four phases depending on how you look at
Speaker:it. But then the next phase was the subordination to collective authority.
Speaker:And this is when peer pressure hits, around age 13,
Speaker:you get puberty and you start having your friends becoming more important
Speaker:than your parents and you start lying to them and you start sneaking out and you
Speaker:start doing stuff that teenagers do. Well, not all teenagers,
Speaker:but many teenagers do. And they try to,
Speaker:they're trying to find out where their independence is.
Speaker:They're not quite able to stand on their own two feet economically so they got
Speaker:to go back and forth between fitting into society,
Speaker:the peer pressure and also the family.
Speaker:And so they're kind of a transition there.
Speaker:And then it goes from the local community to, you know, the city,
Speaker:then the state, then the nation, and then the world.
Speaker:And they move up the dynamics until you're in your forties.
Speaker:And then usually about the age that you reach,
Speaker:when the people that you had subordinated to you're now the age of it,
Speaker:you finally have an identity crisis, a midlife identity crisis,
Speaker:because you're now at the age when your parents were and you start to think,
Speaker:'Hmm, what's really important to me? What's really priority?
Speaker:And what's really my values?' And it's a soul searching introspective stage.
Speaker:And then Kohlberg says the fourth stage, so you had pain and pleasure,
Speaker:you know, subordination to individual authority,
Speaker:subordination to collective authority, and then eventually transcendence.
Speaker:And transcendence is when you actually have the courage to be yourself,
Speaker:to question authority,
Speaker:to question conforming to whatever people are saying and expecting,
Speaker:and it's not easy. Most people don't make it ever into transcendence.
Speaker:They're stuck in the third phase, sometimes stuck in
Speaker:Very few people make it, less than 1%, make it into the transcendental stage,
Speaker:where they actually autonomous. Why?
Speaker:Because we're frightened instinctfully of being abandoned, abolished,
Speaker:removed from the group, and so we have to conform,
Speaker:so we have to dress a certain way,
Speaker:live a certain way and fit into a certain thing. And we're afraid of not being,
Speaker:afraid of being rejected. Fear of rejection is huge.
Speaker:we inculcate and inject the values of whoever we depend
Speaker:on, whoever we look up to, whoever we admire,
Speaker:whoever we subordinate to.
Speaker:Now in the process of doing it,
Speaker:we found out that the second you subordinate to somebody and inject their
Speaker:values, you take those values and then you project those onto other people.
Speaker:And you're attempting to live in those values of other people,
Speaker:which you can't really do, but you think you're going to do.
Speaker:And then you tend to judge people when they remind you of when you're not.
Speaker:And so you're now judging people down below when they're not living up to the
Speaker:idealism that you're hypocritically attempting to live by.
Speaker:And so you hear from your grandma, you know, 'Be nice. Don't be mean. Be kind,
Speaker:don't be cruel. Be positive, don't be negative. Be generous,
Speaker:don't be stingy.' And one sided idealisms about how you're supposed to be.
Speaker:And then grandma actually beats the hell out of grandpa and gives him hell all
Speaker:the time and starts yelling and screaming at him sometimes.
Speaker:And you see these hypocrisies, these incongruencies,
Speaker:and it's confusing because this is what you think you're 'supposed to' do.
Speaker:Anytime you hear yourself saying,
Speaker:'I should.' 'I ought to.' 'I'm supposed to.' 'I got to.' 'I have to.' 'I must.'
Speaker:'I need to.' That's an imperative language of an injected value of some
Speaker:authority. And that's an idealism that not everybody lives by,
Speaker:in fact, no one lives by it, but you're supposed to live by it.
Speaker:And it's just assumed.
Speaker:It's like going into a corporation and assuming the corporation has a set of
Speaker:values, it's put on a piece of paper,
Speaker:but then there's new CEO's and new executives and they
Speaker:values.
Speaker:And each individual has their own set of priorities and values in their own
Speaker:life.
Speaker:But they're supposed to fit into this little structure that says on this piece
Speaker:of paper, but rarely does that occur.
Speaker:I've gone into corporations I've never seen anybody really follow that exactly.
Speaker:So that leads me to the first principle here,
Speaker:that what people are calling core values in most of the
Speaker:literature, and I'm going to say 90 plus percent,
Speaker:95% of the core values I see in all the literature,
Speaker:you'll look up on the internet and you go start reading books on it and stuff,
Speaker:95% of it is not your core values.
Speaker:It's the injected social idealisms and the collective
Speaker:assumptions and moral hypocrisies that people think you're supposed to live by.
Speaker:And so people say, 'Well,
Speaker:my core values are peace and honesty and integrity and this and that.' But then
Speaker:they're lying to themselves half the time.
Speaker:They're not living congruently with their own values. They're living by duty,
Speaker:fitting in and fearing rejection and they're all over the place.
Speaker:And so I just want to make sure that when you read about core values,
Speaker:keep that in mind,
Speaker:because there's a lot of social idealisms and you'll subordinate to that and
Speaker:you'll pick one out of the blue that's an arbitrary thing that you think, 'Oh,
Speaker:that's the ideal I want to live by',
Speaker:but that has nothing to do with what's real for you.
Speaker:And I'm going to make sure I put that across there because I've been studying
Speaker:values for 43 plus years now,
Speaker:and doing valuations and value determinations and things
Speaker:for many, many years. And I can tell you right now with absolute certainty,
Speaker:I mean certainty, that the majority of people,
Speaker:when you ask them what their values are or what their core values are,
Speaker:it's not what they're living. And so I'm not interested in that.
Speaker:If you want to master your life and transcend,
Speaker:you have to be honest with yourself. Not that honesty is the value,
Speaker:but you have to be honest with yourself in the assessment of what's really
Speaker:priority to you. What's really important to you. If I look at it,
Speaker:I look at what you fill your space with, what do you spend your time with,
Speaker:Spontaneously. Not because of duty, not because what you should do,
Speaker:not as something that needs external motivation.
Speaker:Anything that needs external motivation is not important to you.
Speaker:If you need to be reminded or motivated extrinsically to do what you think is
Speaker:important, it ain't important.
Speaker:I don't need to be reminded to do research and teaching.
Speaker:I do it every single day. But I would need to be reminded to cook and drive.
Speaker:But if I thought I 'should be' doing that and I'm not doing it,
Speaker:I then beat myself up, because I'm going 'I'm not being what I should be'.
Speaker:And I find that this is what most people do.
Speaker:They write down a bunch of idealisms about how they think they should be,
Speaker:they write them down and call them core values, they don't live by them,
Speaker:they beat themselves up, they think they're not perfect yet,
Speaker:so nobody's perfect. So this kind of thinking is not what I'm going to promote.
Speaker:I don't teach that. It's not the truth about human behavior.
Speaker:You have a set of priorities, a set of values,
Speaker:there's a culmination of all the judgments and misperceptions you've had in your
Speaker:life that are leaving you empty that you're striving to fulfill,
Speaker:to reintegrate. I always say that whatever's stored
Speaker:that are judgments that have been there for days, weeks, months, years,
Speaker:or decades,
Speaker:are creating impulses and instincts and epigenetic effects on physiology to
Speaker:create habits and character and behavior and where you're headed in life.
Speaker:And your hierarchy of values is really a reflection of those voids and the
Speaker:values are trying to fulfill those voids, those emptinesses.
Speaker:See when you look down on somebody and you're too proud to admit what you see in
Speaker:them is inside you, that is a disowned part.
Speaker:And when you're looking up to somebody and you're minimizing yourself and you're
Speaker:too humble to admit what you see in them is inside you, that's a disowned part.
Speaker:And those disowned parts are in a sense deflections and non
Speaker:ownership of what you see in the world around you.
Speaker:Instead of calling them heroes and villains,
Speaker:they're really parts of you that you've disowned and this disownment,
Speaker:those emptinesses, those voids of honoring those within yourself,
Speaker:is what makes you go and live out, trying to fulfill that.
Speaker:That's why you'll automatically go in the direction that will fulfill those
Speaker:voids. Now,
Speaker:so I'm not interested in what a social idealism is,
Speaker:I'm interested in what your life demonstrates.
Speaker:Your life demonstrates your core values, your real core values,
Speaker:not what people talk about as core values. Cause I see a list,
Speaker:I saw a little thing online the other day where 'Pick Your Core Values'.
Speaker:Well that's crap. Excuse my expression, but that's just actually crap.
Speaker:You don't just artificially just decide, 'Okay,
Speaker:I'm now going to do that.' You won't do it.
Speaker:That's like artificially doing a new year's resolution when it's not really
Speaker:congruent with your real values.
Speaker:And it's like picking something because it sounds cool because you're beating
Speaker:yourself up.
Speaker:Most people are beating themselves up because they're not living congruently and
Speaker:then expecting to set up an idealism to feel better about themselves because
Speaker:they're feeling self shame.
Speaker:I'm interested in what your life demonstrates. That's why on my website,
Speaker:drdemartini.com, there's
Speaker:a Determine Your Value exercise on there. It's free. It's complimentary.
Speaker:If you haven't done it, please do it. It's private.
Speaker:Answer it with integrity as best you can, the best you can. I mean,
Speaker:you're going to probably do it again.
Speaker:I tell people to do it again a week from now, a month from now,
Speaker:a quarter from now and every quarter and keep records of it,
Speaker:which the computer will do for you. It'll be private, you can look at it,
Speaker:but take the time to do it. Look at how you fill your space.
Speaker:Look at what you really spend your time on. Look at what really energizes you.
Speaker:Look at where you're really going with your money.
Speaker:Where's your money being spent? Look at where you're organized.
Speaker:Look at where you're really disciplined. Look at what you think about,
Speaker:visualize,
Speaker:and affirm inside yourself about how you really want your life that shows the
Speaker:evidence of coming true, evidence that's coming true, not fantasies. Evidence.
Speaker:Look at what you want to converse with other people about and talk about most,
Speaker:spontaneously.
Speaker:Look at what inspires you and brings tears to your eyes and people that do
Speaker:extraordinary things and when you're doing something amazing,
Speaker:your tears of inspiration are guides,
Speaker:look at what the key goals that you've had,
Speaker:the persistent goals you've had long-term that are coming true.
Speaker:And look exactly what it is that you can't wait to study and learn.
Speaker:And those will indicate what your values are more than a
Speaker:social idealism that you think you're going to do, that you don't live by.
Speaker:I'm not interested in what you say you want to do.
Speaker:I'm interested in what you're doing.
Speaker:Because if you set goals and you set priorities and you set objectives and
Speaker:intentions and attentions in the direction of what's truly highest on your
Speaker:value, you will excel. You will awaken up your power.
Speaker:You awaken up your leadership. You wake up your genius,
Speaker:you'll expand your space and time horizons.
Speaker:You'll give yourself permission to do more.
Speaker:You'll have more certainty and belief in yourself and confidence and you'll
Speaker:automatically live with eustress and adaptability and resiliency instead of
Speaker:distress and phobias.
Speaker:See when you're living by your highest values, you, you wake up the forebrain,
Speaker:the executive center, and you end up becoming a master of your destiny.
Speaker:And that's the real core values, the real true core values,
Speaker:not the stuff that I see on the literature out there.
Speaker:It's like Paul Dirac the Nobel prize winner says,
Speaker:'It's not that we don't know so much,
Speaker:we know so much that isn't so.' It's about unlearning half the stuff that we've
Speaker:been taught out there.
Speaker:I've been involved in the personal development industry and there's a lot of
Speaker:stuff out there that's just fluffy stuff. I'm not interested in it,
Speaker:I almost have to debunk it because it's distracting to real mastery in life.
Speaker:But finding out what you really are demonstrating as a real commitment in life
Speaker:and structuring your life according to that makes a huge difference in your
Speaker:life, because then you'll walk your talk. You won't limp your life.
Speaker:Then you'll do what you say.
Speaker:And integrity is living congruently with what you really value.
Speaker:It's not an artificial thing you say, 'Okay, I'm going to live by integrity.
Speaker:I'm going to live with honesty.' I've never met an honest person.
Speaker:Diogenes at the time of Socrates and Plato, he never found,
Speaker:he went all over Europe trying to find an honest person,
Speaker:living honest all the time.
Speaker:And all of our opinions and all of our perceptions are mostly skewed and not
Speaker:really always honest. So we can say, we want to be honest,
Speaker:but really the most important place to be honest is with yourself about what's
Speaker:really important to you. And then instead of having, because if you don't,
Speaker:if you're not living by your highest values,
Speaker:if you're not fulfilling what's most meaningful,
Speaker:if you're not prioritizing your life and living with what's really important to
Speaker:you, you're going to have unfulfillment. And as you go into unfulfillment,
Speaker:your blood glucose and oxygen goes into the amygdala,
Speaker:the subcortical area of the brain,
Speaker:which is the animal survival mode and it takes you back,
Speaker:Kohlberg's idea of avoid pain and seek pleasure.
Speaker:You literally regress if you're not living by priority,
Speaker:according to what you really value,
Speaker:you regress down Kohlberg's ideas back to avoid pain, seek pleasure,
Speaker:and back to primitive survival mechanisms of pleasing parents and fitting into
Speaker:society. And that's where conformists,
Speaker:Ernest Becker in his 'Denial of Death' had a beautiful text on this,
Speaker:it's worth reading if you get a chance, 'The Denial of Death',
Speaker:or go online and look at the video on conformity concerning this because
Speaker:it'll shock you,
Speaker:because most people subordinate and fit in like that and create a collective
Speaker:heroism and thinking they're going to be good little citizen fitting in,
Speaker:and then they're going to have Bronnie Ware's regrets at the end of their life.
Speaker:'Gee, by now I thought I'd be', and 'Oh, I could have done this'.
Speaker:But if you're actually an unborrowed visionary going after what's truly
Speaker:important to you and prioritizing your life and doing it in a way that serves
Speaker:people that you're remunerated and compensated,
Speaker:so you can delegate lower priority things you can enhance and empower your life.
Speaker:Now when you're not living by your highest values and you're subordinating to
Speaker:everybody else and trying to fit in,
Speaker:which I think everybody here has had a moment when you've been infatuated with
Speaker:somebody and sacrificed what was important to you to be with them.
Speaker:Well imagine that collectively and all the people around you and you're
Speaker:sacrificing your life away. That's called a lost soul in theology.
Speaker:But when you're doing that,
Speaker:you activate the amygdala and the amygdala is wanting to avoid pain and seek
Speaker:pleasure.
Speaker:And it creates a subjective bias mechanism as a survival mechanism
Speaker:to try to accentuate, to capture prey and avoid predator.
Speaker:So it literally skews and distorts and causes broad generalizations,
Speaker:like all good, all bad and absolute belief systems.
Speaker:And this is where absolute morality comes in, which nobody can live by,
Speaker:but everybody hypocritically thinks they're going to,
Speaker:and they point their finger and they got three fingers patched back at them.
Speaker:When you do that,
Speaker:if you're seeking this pleasure and you're trying to avoid pain,
Speaker:you're living in fear.
Speaker:And if you're trying to avoid this pain and seek pleasure,
Speaker:you're living in fear.
Speaker:The fear of loss of that what you seek and the fear of gain of that what you
Speaker:avoid is where all the phobias come from.
Speaker:So anytime you're not living by your highest values,
Speaker:you're going to be trapped in phobias, and in the phobias themselves,
Speaker:that's where you have the fear of not being smart enough,
Speaker:fear of not being succeeding, the fear of failure,
Speaker:the fear of not making enough money, or fear you're going to lose money,
Speaker:the fear of losing the respect of loved ones or the people you respect that
Speaker:you're intimate with, the fear of rejection by people in society,
Speaker:the fear of ill health, death, or disease, or not being attractive enough,
Speaker:or procreation and the fear of breaking the morals and ethics of some spiritual
Speaker:authority you've given power to.
Speaker:All of these fears are by-product of not living by highest values because you
Speaker:subordinated to the collective authority,
Speaker:injected the values of somebody you don't even know where they come from half
Speaker:the time, these ideals.
Speaker:I have an exercise in one of my programs where I actually identify when people
Speaker:say 'I should', 'I ought to', 'I suppose to', 'I got to',
Speaker:and we trace where that originates and what individual that originates or what
Speaker:group that originates from. And then they realize,
Speaker:'Oh.' Because when people come up to you and say, 'Well,
Speaker:you should do this.' I go, 'I should?
Speaker:According to who?' I love it when people try to project their idea
Speaker:about how I should, and they're not knowing how to respect my values,
Speaker:they just project onto me what I should do. You've seen salespeople do that;
Speaker:'You should be buying this product, it will help you.' And I go,
Speaker:'Well I should? According to who, according to when,
Speaker:where?' And people then go, 'Oh.
Speaker:I don't even know.' They're not even aware where they get it themselves.
Speaker:They're just passing down and parroting a collective authority that has
Speaker:maybe no basis in any personal reality for the individual.
Speaker:But giving yourself permission to stand strong and identify what's really
Speaker:valuable to you.
Speaker:And then master the skill of communicating whatever that is in terms of other
Speaker:people's values. I've not seen two values that can't be linked,
Speaker:even complementary opposite values can be linked and you can still respect and
Speaker:communicate what's important to you in terms of what's important to other
Speaker:people. That doesn't mean you have to sacrifice and live by duty.
Speaker:It just means you want to inspire and inspire and communicate effectively in the
Speaker:art of communication with others.
Speaker:I love teaching people how to do that because when they do, they go, 'Whoa,
Speaker:my relationship just shifted.
Speaker:And my relationship with my kid has just changed.' Instead of autocratically
Speaker:projecting a value on them and thinking what they should be doing,
Speaker:or you trying to live in their values and what you should be doing,
Speaker:you're now respecting each other for their own individual values because no two
Speaker:people have the same set of values.
Speaker:If you're looking for somebody with exactly your set of values,
Speaker:you'll be living in the Twilight zone and you might want to look that up if
Speaker:you're young.
Speaker:But the Twilight zone was a show that was kind of a spoof on some of the
Speaker:delusions that people live by in their life.
Speaker:But what happens is we automatically,
Speaker:we are more fulfilled if we can live congruently and aligned with what we value
Speaker:most, and we're more fulfilled when we can articulate that in a way that's also
Speaker:helping others fulfill what's their values are, their highest values.
Speaker:That way people can be loved and appreciated for who they are.
Speaker:We all want to be loved and appreciated for who we are,
Speaker:but who we are is our highest value.
Speaker:If you take a young woman who's 35 years old and has three kids under the age of
Speaker:five, and her highest value is raising that beautiful family and being a mother,
Speaker:and you asked her,
Speaker:'Who are you?' She'll ontologically give the essence of her being as a mother.
Speaker:If you asked me that, I'd say I'm teacher. Whatever your highest value,
Speaker:your life and identity revolves around.
Speaker:I've gone through that with a well over a hundred thousand people.
Speaker:And that's what you'll find. Go prove it to yourself,
Speaker:go determine your values online and be honest with the answers.
Speaker:Do it a few times, see the pattern to it. And if there's not a pattern there,
Speaker:you're lying. If there's a pattern in it and it repeats itself,
Speaker:you know you're on track. But if it's scattered all over the place,
Speaker:that means you're subordinating to a whole bunch of opinions.
Speaker:But if you actually go in there and identify it,
Speaker:you will see very clearly that your ontological identity,
Speaker:the essence of your being is an expression of what you value most.
Speaker:And your epistemological yearning to learn is spontaneously in your highest
Speaker:value and your teleological meaning and purpose is derived from your highest
Speaker:value.
Speaker:So if you wonder why I spend so much time on that is because the very core drive
Speaker:of mastery and human behavior, is that. That's why I,
Speaker:wherever I go, almost every talk I do, you're going to hear me talk about it.
Speaker:I've been studying it 48 years and that distilled it down to that essence.
Speaker:And if you don't find out what that is,
Speaker:and you keep trying to be somebody you're not,
Speaker:you're going to bang your head against the wall, be back in your amygdala,
Speaker:live in the seven fears. The fears I've said that I mentioned, and believe it,
Speaker:the moment you're in your amygdala and you're living in your fear,
Speaker:you're going to be distracted by impulses and instincts.
Speaker:The desire for that which is unattainable and the desire to avoid that which is
Speaker:unavoidable, which is the source of the passionate suffering that people have,
Speaker:instead of an inspired mission.
Speaker:I'm interested in helping people inspire their mission and the Breakthrough
Speaker:Experience, which I've been teaching 32 years,
Speaker:I'm interested in helping people get past their amygdala's,
Speaker:out of their animal nature and get into their angelic and real human nature,
Speaker:where they're inspired. Where they're really having a vision,
Speaker:where they really have a desire to make a difference as a unique individual
Speaker:expressing it without having to fit in, to be able to be yourself.
Speaker:You want to be loved for who you are, but if you can't fit in,
Speaker:and every time you're proud looking down on people, that's not who you are.
Speaker:Every time you're humiliated and looking up at people and minimizing yourself,
Speaker:that's not who you are.
Speaker:It's when you are yourself and you're communicating effectively with somebody
Speaker:else who's themselves,
Speaker:that both individuals have create a sustainable transactional fair exchange.
Speaker:And that's what allows perpetuity of the relationship and in your own life
Speaker:fulfillment.
Speaker:So unless you have equanimity within yourself and equity between yourself and
Speaker:others, living congruently by what you value most,
Speaker:don't expect a fulfilled life. Fulfillment is fulfilling the highest values.
Speaker:That's what fulfillment means, filling full the mind.
Speaker:And that's what we want to import into our mind and awareness the most.
Speaker:That's why the young lady who has the three children goes to the mall and she
Speaker:spots children's items in the mall. She'll filter it out in the mall,
Speaker:she'll then make a decision and she'll buy it and take action on it.
Speaker:Whatever's highest on our value is where we are disciplined, reliable,
Speaker:and focused and inspired. And whatever's low in our values, we procrastinate,
Speaker:hesitate and frustrate. You tell me, what do you want? A disciplined, reliable,
Speaker:and focused life that's inspired and leads,
Speaker:and basically blazes a new trail and goes after what inspired?
Speaker:Kinda like an Elon Musk going off to Mars, if you will.
Speaker:Or do you want to be sitting in mediocrity and trying to fit in and waiting to
Speaker:see what you 'should be' like and fitting in and being punished
Speaker:if you don't fit that and rewarded if you do.
Speaker:And the reward is a little carrot thinking in some afterlife construct, no,
Speaker:that's not an empowered life.
Speaker:So living by your highest values and making sure that you're actually
Speaker:concentrating and focusing on that,
Speaker:is what the Breakthrough Experience is about, all my programs are about,
Speaker:with this message here today is about, your core value,
Speaker:the true core values is your highest values,
Speaker:top three values of what I call them.
Speaker:But they're not truth and honesty and integrity and stuff.
Speaker:What is true is when you're true to the answers and look at what it actually is.
Speaker:You may find out that your highest value is becoming a gym, a great gymnast,
Speaker:and then get an Olympic medal in gym.
Speaker:You may find your highest value like me is teaching and researching and
Speaker:traveling the world.
Speaker:You may find somebody else is raising a family and somebody else is running a
Speaker:major business, and somebody else is about building wealth,
Speaker:and somebody else is into social causes.
Speaker:There's no right or wrong value system. There's none you're supposed to have.
Speaker:It's what's true to you.
Speaker:And what is really inspiring to you that serves other people.
Speaker:And that's the thing.
Speaker:And finding out what's really meaningful to you so you can't wait to get up in
Speaker:the morning and be, and do, and have that,
Speaker:and then doing it in a way that actually serves people.
Speaker:So there's a fulfillment,
Speaker:because there's no fulfillment if you're just receiving without giving.
Speaker:You know, you have a sensory cortex and a motor cortex.
Speaker:And motor cortex is for service.
Speaker:And the sensory cortex is for the receiving of rewards.
Speaker:And so you want both, you want to be able to receive the rewards,
Speaker:helping other people get what they want to get in life by you getting what you
Speaker:want to get in life. That's not by conforming and subordinating,
Speaker:cause you're not going to make a contribution to them.
Speaker:The contribution comes from uniqueness.
Speaker:I'd rather be number one at being me than number two at being somebody else.
Speaker:So if you follow you at what's really high on your values,
Speaker:come to the Breakthrough Experience and let me help show you how to do that or
Speaker:come online, go online and do the Value Determination or do both.
Speaker:But making sure that you are prioritizing your life and filling your day with
Speaker:truly high priority things is going to increase the probability of you
Speaker:activating your true core values and transcending the major fears that
Speaker:hold people back. Again,
Speaker:the fear of breaking the morals and ethics of some spiritual authority,
Speaker:the fear of failure, the fear of not knowing enough,
Speaker:the fear of not making enough money or losing money, the fear of rejection,
Speaker:the fear of loss of loved ones, the fear of somehow physical ailments.
Speaker:But all of those,
Speaker:all of the symptoms of our body and all seven of those areas of her life are
Speaker:offering us feedback to let us know whenever we get symptoms in any of those
Speaker:areas, and are not having fulfillment in those areas,
Speaker:because we're not living authentically congruently with what our core highest
Speaker:values are. So when you go read about the core values in the literature,
Speaker:beware of the social idealisms.
Speaker:Go watch the Ernest Becker's work on conformity online.
Speaker:You'll find a little YouTube conformity.
Speaker:And please come to the Breakthrough Experience because I can
Speaker:actually show you exactly what to do,
Speaker:the actual steps on how to transform that and give yourself permission to be an
Speaker:authentic unborrowed visionary individual who's a leader being who they really
Speaker:want to be. You know,
Speaker:I'm a firm believer that if you want to sit there and conform, that's fine.
Speaker:But if you want to enorm yourself and expand yourself and give yourself
Speaker:permission to do something amazing in the world,
Speaker:be extraordinary versus ordinary.
Speaker:Then you want to make sure you know what the real core values are,
Speaker:not the social idealisms. You won't live in fear. You'll live in inspiration.
Speaker:Fear is a feedback to let you know that you're pursuing fantasies,
Speaker:that aren't you. And they're going to,
Speaker:it's going to do what it can to get you back to being the authentic you,
Speaker:and the magnificence of who you are as far greater than all those fantasies you
Speaker:might impose on yourself.
Speaker:So I just wanted to take some time today to go over that,
Speaker:idea of what a core value is versus social idealism, real core value,
Speaker:instead of what's being taught out there.
Speaker:And then also understand that that's the source.
Speaker:Not living congruently with what's really important to you is the very source of
Speaker:all the phobias and fears that you end up in your life on.
Speaker:So please let me help you get from living by somebody else's world and by
Speaker:duty into design. That's why I help people in Master Planning live by design,
Speaker:not by duty. And to help you do that. And to help you expand your game.
Speaker:I want to take a moment to give you a gift. Each time I do this this week,
Speaker:I usually give a gift. And this is one of the most commonly appreciated gifts.
Speaker:This is Awakening Your Astronomical Vision.
Speaker:This is a live presentation I did in Johannesburg in a planetarium based on
Speaker:topic, astronomical vision.
Speaker:And I basically showed people how to get past small thinking and allow
Speaker:themselves to do something globally. You know,
Speaker:if you want to make a difference in yourself,
Speaker:you need a vision as big as your community or family, at least.
Speaker:If you want to make a difference in your family,
Speaker:you need a vision as big as your community.
Speaker:If you want to make a difference in your community,
Speaker:you need a vision as big as your city.
Speaker:If you want to make a difference in the city and be number one in the city,
Speaker:a leader in the city, you need a vision as big as your state or province.
Speaker:If you want to be number one in the state,
Speaker:you need a vision as big as your nation.
Speaker:If you want to be number one in the nation,
Speaker:you need a vision as big as the globe. And if you want to have a global impact,
Speaker:need an astronomical vision. And so this CD,
Speaker:this live hour and a half to two hour CD, I am absolutely certain
Speaker:if you listen to it, which most people do four or five or six times even,
Speaker:is going to help you expand the game. Now with today with the internet,
Speaker:all of us have access to the whole world. I always said,
Speaker:the universe is my playground, the world is my home,
Speaker:every country is a room in the house,
Speaker:every city is a platform to share my heart and soul.
Speaker:And I'm a believer that deep inside you, you're more of a celestial being,
Speaker:having a terrestrial experience than a terrestrial being,
Speaker:looking out at the celestial experience.
Speaker:I'm going to show you how to have a bigger vision,
Speaker:a broader vision so instead of seeing things black and white and you know,
Speaker:either good or evil and either black or white where you're trapped and living in
Speaker:fears, to neither,
Speaker:so you're actually unconditionally loving your life and being inspired by your
Speaker:life.
Speaker:That's what this CD will help you do and help you have an advantage in business
Speaker:and finances and leadership in your life. So just wanted to pass that on,
Speaker:take advantage. It's normally $50. It's a gift to you.
Speaker:Listen to it and listen to it. Listen to it. I promise you,
Speaker:it'll be some gems in there. And thank you again for listening today.
Speaker:I look forward to seeing you next week.
Speaker:Until then have a fantastic weekend and live by priority. Go online,
Speaker:do the Value Determination process,
Speaker:take advantage of that and start living by priority.
Speaker:If you fill your day with high priority actions that inspire you,
Speaker:your day won't fill up with low priority distractions that don't.
Speaker:Thank you for joining me for this presentation today.
Speaker:If you found value out of the presentation,
Speaker:please go below and please share your comments.
Speaker:We certainly appreciate that feedback and be sure to subscribe and hit the
Speaker:notification icons.
Speaker:That way I can bring more content to you and share more to help you maximize
Speaker:your life. I look forward to our next presentation.