The Queens rate and review a 3 Star Review from GoodReads for the first book in the Harry Potter novel series, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Chelsey has a bone to pick (unfortunately), Trey…can’t…hear you…now, and the Queens are anti-self-bullying! Negin is a rockstar and Crowns Up!

(07:31) Lodge a Complaint!

(13:35) Review

(31:28) Exclusive Offer

(35:12) My Royal Highness

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(38:31) On Today's After Show Pod

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Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

[Theme Song]

Hello!

Hi, we were just having a dance party.

Welcome to Review That Review the podcast dedicated to reviewing..

That Reviews!

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we

That is Chelsey Donn,

And that is Trey Gerrald.

The

and together we are.

review Queens.

Now if you're Jones in for a little bit more and you want access to additional

When you join our Patreon over at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review honey Chelsey goose.

How is.

ya?

How is.

My week's going well.

I was just thinking when you were like I'm Jones, I was thinking of keeping

Now on Hulu now.

And I have like, maybe embarrassingly been watching it.

Oh.

It is kind of hilarious at like the degree of separation from real life.

The last episode that I watched Chris and Kylie wanted to do normal things.

So they went to the grocery store the process of.

Of Chris, like trying to put the chip in for the credit card machine to read the chip.

I was just like, oh my God, I didn't even, I mean, I understand they talk about not wanting

Like she's not gone to a store.

And paid for things herself to the point where putting inserting a chip into a

And it was just so funny, like she was filling her gas, which I guess she never does anymore.

And she was very proud of herself.

She was like, it's like riding a bike.

And I, I just thought, wow, that's so crazy that they don't do these

I Donn know it was very strange.

Well, I've actually never seen an episode of keeping up with their Kardashians.

Good for

not seen the new show.

I've also never seen real Housewives, but did watch the Jenny Jones show, which used

Oh, true.

Donn.

That's true.

I did watch some Jenny Jones back in the day, Moy, the Moy.

And then like, if you were really feeling, especially, uh, scandalous.

You would watch,

Jerry spring.

Jerry Springer?

Did you know that Jenny Jones was canceled because the show

And it was a gay person who was telling a, their straight friend, they were in love with them.

And the straight friend was so humiliated that he shot and murdered friend afterwards.

And so the family sued the Jenny Jones show

Oh my

did not tell the person That the person se confessing

Because of that fragile masculinity, he murdered the friend that had a crush on

so scary and insane.

And wow.

man.

The nineties

Anyway, speaking of horrific, horrible things, I have to share with

So I woke up literally Chelsey.

This is not an exaggeration.

I

I was gonna say, is this a Complaint?

No, this is, this is how my week's going.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

I talked about this with my therapist.

Cause my therapist understands like, Uh, dream symbolism and what it represents in your life.

So I'm not going to, I, I do not wish to share what I was dreaming about, but

my God.

Stop.

and Chelsey, Winnie David was already awake and working in the basement.

So he didn't even hear, but Winnie, like ran over and was like, licking me, like licking me.

But were like, it was like, a scared lick.

It wasn't

are you

Yes.

But I was having a night terror, which I've now Googled an UN unfolded, but I literally vocalized

Isn't that horrible.

That's really terrifying.

I've been having very weird dreams lately too.

Not like not really hard dreams.

Thankfully, although like one was very scary and they looked it up and the dream

You know, I Donn know, I don't even like to put it into the energy, but it was not what I

And I feel like my general feeling about dream interpretation, especially

But, uh, I think that there's definitely not a one size fits all to the dream psychology.

I really feel like it has to do with what's happening in your life.

And any symbolism.

If you really think about it, you can probably put the pieces together.

Right.

On your own,

Wait, speaking of symbolism and, and stuff today is my mom's birthday.

Happy birthday, Peggy.

birthday, Peggy.

Wait, Chelsey.

How was your week going?

Otherwise from my terrible dream and your frequent dreams.

Yeah.

Well, this isn't my Complaint, but I did get a paper cut this week.

I've already complained about paper cut.

So I won't get into it.

Thank you for your sigh of like acknowledgement, but you know, just been on my mind,

terrible.

so that's really, that's been taking up a lot of my energy and it's in

Or when you try to like put a bandaid around the knuckle, like where

That really is

Yeah.

And Goldie likes to bite the bandaid, like off my finger.

So I just have to go rogue with it and hope that I don't get any kind of infection, but I think I

And I Donn don't even wanna think about it from a knife, cuz it happened like right

So that's not a paper.

Cut.

That's a

You're you're right.

It's a knife cut, but like, it looks like a paper cut, but like it's very thin.

So I think maybe my finger just like Gras the knife quickly.

skin's crawling.

Oh, that's the

know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I think that we really need some magic in our lives, cuz this is too much.

this is too much.

You're right.

I would love some magic please.

Let's be Oprah and create our own magic

You get a magic and you get a magic.

Okay.

Magic.

Okay,

you have anything need to complain about this week?

Is there something you

I think I've mentioned this on the pod before, but like I

I always say I'm one food documentary away from becoming a vegetarian.

That's how I describe myself.

I'm mostly vegetarian.

I will eat chicken.

I will eat meat occasionally.

But I ordered chicken dumplings, cuz I like the chicken dumplings from this place.

or fried

Steamed I've probably gotten them from this restaurant dozens of time, this time

Okay.

Finding an unexpected bone in a meat product.

Yeah, because dumpling, you know, the center of it like ground chicken,

Oh no, no, no, no,

they probably , they probably put the chicken or whatever in

I'm I I'm like gonna have to rethink all kinds of things

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, was

Well,

No.

It was like a teeny, tiny, crunch, but it was like, I know, but it like enough.

you spit it out or did you

Oh, I spit it out immediately.

I couldn't eat the rest of the dumplings.

I don't know.

The next time I'm gonna be able to order from this restaurant in general.

If I do, obviously I'll have to go vegetarian, but like trauma, like

No.

No,

I remember in college, my friend, Liz Alder, fur was eating at papaya king.

Do you remember that place in New York?

Yeah,

72nd street.

exactly.

I think actually the one that like closer to 14th street

yeah.

Oh yes.

My therapist used

Yeah.

And she bit into a hot dog and a bone came out.

Of a hot dog.

It didn't even happen to me.

I remember being mortified.

I wanna say she just like spit it out and then continued eating the hot dog.

I, I just like, I can't, I'm so close to being a vegetarian and I understand that I'm

That's on the bone.

I don't like anything about the process of eating the food to remind me where it came from.

It like skis me out.

I just need that separation of mind.

I like the taste, but I don't want to be reminded when I'm eating the thing,

So I'm lodging a Complaint and I won't put the restaurant on blast, but whew.

You had a bone to pick

did have a bone to pick

with them.

but no, I definitely understand.

You do not want to

Ugh.

Growth, not

I'm sorry.

Not okay.

Thank you.

All right, Trey.

What about you?

Do you have a Complaint this week?

Are you okay?

Yeah, I wanted to, I, I wanted to,

I feel like, are you frozen or are you just like in

my Complaint.

I

didn't hear any of that.

You were frozen the whole time.

that's the joke.

I hate bad service.

hate bad service when you are, especially in this day and age of zoom.

When you have a very important phone call or a very important Skype meeting or a very

I, I lost you.

Oh Or.

The worst case scenario.

And this happens to us sometimes where you

get a freeze frame and of course your face is in the disgusting,

always.

especially when it's a business or a very important meeting.

Like I, this once happened, like I don't wanna go into all these details cuz it's stupid.

But like I once, uh, was switching managers and my managers are in Los Angeles.

So the only way I could meet with them was on Skype.

And I was so terrified of having bad service.

That I had to sit in a really weird position and it had to be Skype.

So I was like in the window to get really good lighting.

Like the service was so choppy, but no one was acknowledging it and my leg fell asleep.

And so we were saying our goodbyes,

Oh, stop.

to Christ that this happened to me.

And I stood up and I literally tum tumbled to

Oh, no,

because my leg went to sleep no.

one

acknowledged it.

And I, but like I had, it was on the computer.

So the computer went with me, so I just tried to play it off.

And I think that that lives so severely inside of me Anytime I have a meeting or anything that

I'm so worried of, of it being dropped.

Like somehow I'm responsible for my wifi connection.

Like I maybe we are, But like anyway,

also like anything could happen.

well that's my Complaint is like the anxiety around the bad service and losing

Position.

And then how much time has gone by where you Donn didn't know or they didn't know.

And then it's like, you know, just high level anxiety attack

Totally on all sides.

Ugh.

I hate that.

that.

never happened on the Jetsons

you're right.

Judy always was able to make every call.

She wanted to make Astro, never had any issues.

was the son's name?

Leroy,

His wife,

Leroy, right?

right?

Anyway.

Daughter, Judy.

Um, all

we take this, um, connection and jump on over into some online reviews.

We absolutely should.

Let's do it.

Review That Review.

You really fell for it.

When I was acting like I was frozen, boo.

Oh, my God, because you were, you're such a good actor.

That's I mean, obviously, and also it's happened to us in real life.

So I was like, is this the real, you know, is this just fantasy?

Yeah.

Whatever, as you know, we are your trustee review Queens.

We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

we read you the review, break it down and rate the impact of the

It is a very Regal process that we call.

Says that Kvetch.

All right.

So I'm going back to the roots and I have a review from good reads.com.

Very Regal.

What do you have for

So today?

I'm gonna share with you a three star review from user Queen may not

ChelseyBD.

well, considering we're the review Queens, I think we

Okay.

Well, okay.

So to be fair, I'm adding Queen it's actually an emoji of the crown and then may in lowercase.

So I'm imagining you interpret that as Queen may, maybe it's king, may I Donn don't know

yeah.

I think Queen may crown may crown me crown me.

It's gonna be may.

It's gonna be crown may.

Okay.

We're

regardless, emoji crown may.

gonna call them.

Queen may.

Let's just go with Queen may.

It's

Queen may.

So this is Queen May's three star review on good reads,

Okay.

stone.

This is the Harry Potter book.

Number one.

Written by JK Rowling, allegedly conspiracy theory.

And this was

written in June of 2017.

here

we.

go.

we.

I'm putting aside precious reading time to try and formulate a review for y'all.

So you should be AALS grateful parentheses and not attack me for my rating.

So clearly I had a very, very sad childhood I had not read Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, or any other

But I was actually a pretty happy kid.

Go figure Harry Potter.

Number one was a all caps and bold good.

It was fascinating.

It was adventurous.

It was different.

And it was also average.

Now I don't mean average in a bad way.

I mean that there was nothing in the book that made me Atal gasp or cry or

It was a good book, nothing more, nothing less.

I just want to say exclamation mark exclamation, mark.

All caps.

All of your judgment is clouded by your nostalgia.

Exclamation mark exclamation mark dash there.

I said it by everyone.

Read this book as a kid.

Yes, that's caps.

Awesome.

I'm italic so happy for you and that you get to experience your

Oh my God.

My voice just cracked that you get to experience your childhood all over again with

As a person who's reading this book with purely unbiased parentheses.

I'm giving myself too much credit here and parentheses eyes.

I have come to the professional conclusion that this book will not caps.

In fact, knock your woo socks off, but it's definitely fun to read.

The writing is clear.

It's easy to binge it's short and to the point without over wordy

The characters were fun.

Parentheses thought.

Harry Potter is suffering from a serious case of special snowflake syndrome.

And parentheses.

So yes, it was a nice read, but so were many other books I read this year and this one

I already have enough there initially.

I'm just fricking glad I'm starting to get all the references.

All you muggles throw around all the time.

Don't worry.

I will most definitely be continuing with this series.

Smiley face parentheses italics.

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much

Exclamation mark exclamation, mark,

all cap.

Yes.

You read that, right?

I'm finally starting this series after years of ignorance, parenthesis, more like I've

Smiley face.

WTF happened at the end of that review?

They tried to make, like, like a footnote basically.

Like they just did.

So it's like a borderline basically.

My God, there's a lot of like psychological ish happening.

I, I think with Queen may.

Yes.

Talk on, speak on it.

What

I'm I'm feeling like a little bit of delusions of grandeur.

I'm also

there for you?

childhood, like was bullied as a kid.

And then like, I don't know, maybe found a straightening iron or something and

So like there's a little bit of that.

Like, I have more value than the average human, but also I don't.

I, I don't know.

And then like, they're quoted at the end.

There's just like so much happening in here.

I, I wrote, I wrote a lot of notes.

Why are you telling us that you're taking time away from your precious

First of all,

It's a very good reads thing, cuz I feel like everyone's like super into books

like,

but honey, you chose write this review.

Nobody put a gun to your head.

Nobody said you have to do this.

You chose.

So why are you asking at the top of your review?

I you're Queen may, but why are you asking us to bow down to you?

you've taken the time to write what, in my opinion, no offense is essentially

We used average vocabulary when we were describing things, we them, you know,

I mean, the language in this was nothing to write home about.

So I just don't understand the device.

That Queen may has chosen of, like, I get it, I'm stupid.

And I should like this.

And I kind of do, and I'll keep reading, like, what is the point?

I understand it's a three star review.

It is very middle of the road.

It is a very math, which I guess is appropriate, but I just feel like there's so much in

Harry Potter and how you feel for having missed out for whatever reason on this trend.

Also the childhood stuff.

I mean, again, more psychology about the good verse, bad.

Like I'm gonna be honest and vulnerable.

I guess.

I didn't read the Harry Potter books either.

I didn't read Percy Jackson.

I didn't read any of those things.

Wanna know why?

Cuz I was like, On my bike in my neighborhood, hanging out with my friends,

Like I had a great childhood.

I had, like, I had fun.

We did things.

I was more of a do or less of a reader.

Do I think that that means that I had a bad childhood?

No, I Donn didn't understand how those things are analogous.

And then you're saying you didn't, so who created this like metric it's it's absurd.

It's really fascinating because you can tell off the top that Queen may

Yeah,

which

don't read it

exactly.

And the whole thing is like very long to just say like, I didn't really want to read this.

I felt like maybe I should, because it

was so popular and I, I don't understand why it's popular.

I think it's fine.

It's not bad.

It's fine.

Like, that's all you would have to say, but then.

they end with, I'm gonna continue reading the series.

And I also wanna point out there are 257 likes and there are 104.

Replies.

And, and I went through three pages of replies Chelsey, and no one came for Queen may.

So many people were like the first book isn't as good as the series.

Like totally understand.

Keep going.

Maybe you'll get into it more on like in to the series book.

One really is just setting up the world.

Totally get you girl.

Like no one was like, how dare

is a good reads thing.

That is a good read specific thing,

it's, it's so interesting cuz I also, I obviously everyone knows, especially

I remember when the book, the next book would come out, people would wait in line.

Like it was the iPhone dressed up in Coplay.

It was

It was a deal.

It was the

People were.

Crazy.

And I was also like, Queen may.

I was sort of like what, like, and I bought the first book, this one and I tried to

And I only saw the first movie, like I didn't read the books.

I didn't see the films.

Like I've never seen Lord of the rings.

I've never watched game of Thrones.

Like none of that stuff is my genre necessarily, but I just think this review

I feel like maybe it might be common nowadays that it's such a staple in the culture that

talking about.

But I do think that Queen may has taken it to like a really

agree.

Yeah.

emotional place that feels very much at.

What, I don't know who you like, I Donn, like, why do you, why does it have all this meaning

Yeah, it feels aggressive to me.

I wanna say I am proud of the good reads community for not like hopping on a bullying bandwagon.

Yeah.

But I just think there's not a lot of value when you're bringing in so much

I mean, maybe a lot of people have a similar psychological problem, but I just think this is

there's a battle going on,

Yeah, like you have the choice, the choice is yours.

The magic is yours.

It is in your hands.

I also really did feel like truthful versus shady here.

I think that like the nuts and bolts of this review in May's opinion, which is what you're

Is that may felt like it's not spectacular.

It's like, it's totally whatever it is.

And I'll try the next book.

Like I think that's why people perhaps were not attacking her or them because basically It's

So

like, don't you think that, that, that assessment, which again,

Like, it didn't like blow my socks off and, and sometimes knock my socks off.

And then in that case, sometimes you wish, I wish people didn't tell me how great the movie is.

Cuz maybe then I would've enjoyed it more.

So I understand that.

Aspect of it, but I feel like if the, if the point that you're trying to get across is it was fine.

I do feel like that message got muddied.

Now I do think readers of good read reviews are more willing to go the long mile

Correct.

and really get into the individual experience.

For me, it took me out of it.

It was a distraction, the attitude, the almost

You should be grateful

Yeah.

The both self, self aggrandizing, and also self victimizing that was inherent within

I Donn don't know if I can trust me because in one moment they're talking like they're

And then in the other moment, they're like, Wow.

I had a bad childhood or everybody thinks I did.

And I'm being bullied.

I don't know.

It just feels like a lot for a medium temperatured

children's book.

Yeah.

And children's like, and I remember from my childhood that what happened was the

And then as the books went on, they became like much longer, much more like evolved.

So I would.

If I get through this first book, like, you know, it's kind of like the first season

Yeah, the first season's good.

But like, like I feel like shits Creek, right?

Like the first season is good, but if you like stay on the ride with

You love it.

You're in it.

You know?

And I think that this is similar where it's like you get through the

So are we getting new information from Queen?

May.

That we didn't already know.

I am shocked personally, that that many people liked this review and that that many people

And especially for millennials and younger, I feel like really discovered their love for

So I would imagine.

That this must be one of the most popular pages on good reads.

So maybe just the volume of people that are going through this pages higher.

And that's why there are that many replies.

I feel like it would be a little more obvious if we had a comparison

There's a lot of discourse, which is interesting.

It's interesting to me, but yes, the book itself has like 800 million bajillion reviews.

Right, right.

So were you entertained?

I was, I was like a little bit entertained again, like only because I felt

And so whenever I'm like, oof, I know this girl, you know, like one minute

So I, I, I understood who this person was.

And so following that journey was interesting, but I don't know that that was like intentional.

Humor or anything like that?

How about you?

I was entertained.

I think it's funny, like, as you?

said, it's like the personality.

Too

Oh, oh, I wanted, how many O's were in the so happy for

um, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,

you?

Oh my God.

I knew it

but it's lowercase, but it is a tall size syndrome.

that's funny.

All right.

So let's, let's crown Queen male.

Let's decide whether or not she has special snowflake syndrome

Yes, let's do it.

All right.

So ChelseyBD and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an effort

We will simultaneously reveal our rating.

The Queens are Tabulating

or not.

to.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

So I'm holding up two and a half crowns.

Trey is holding up three and a half crowns.

I was gonna give three

Me

too.

I, I decided to go to two and a half, which is interesting.

You were gonna give three and you decided to go to three and a half.

I just went with two.

I mean, listen, the two crowns are literally for the discourse.

And I guess the spelling, I just thought there was a whole lot of Queen may in this and not a

Like we're using very basic words to describe what we're calling something very basic.

I didn't, sometimes you read those reviews and it's like, You can almost see how the

And I, that's what I love in a, in a good reads review that passion.

And I feel like it was a little ranty.

It was a little complainy and I just couldn't, I couldn't give Queen may

Tell me I'm wrong if I'm wrong.

But, uh, I went with two and a half.

Why did you go with three and a.

Well, I was gonna do three just because may gave it three and so average.

But then I was like, well, okay, so I did three and a half because ultimately

I also think it's like too injected with like random hangups from

Good

But I really liked all of that to the point of, like, I got a

And then I also thought it was an interesting point to just sort of the say.

I think it's not spectacular.

It's not good.

It's not bad.

It's very average.

It's, read many books that I thought were more compelling, made me gas, but

So for that reason, I thought maybe there's some value there.

I Donn don't think it's a deal breaker for me.

I, you know, like I'm not gonna read it, but I thought it was an interesting

And so for that reason, I said three and a half, you know?

Yeah,

Valid.

All right.

Do we wanna take away Queen maze crown or should we leave her?

I think Queen may can keep the

she can keep the crown.

I don't wanna know what

I think Queen may would be very upset if we took away her crown.

So Queen may keep your crown honey, keep your opinions flowing.

We love a POV at very

happen if we took it.

Amen.

Great.

Mike Queen.

Well, we'll keep our crowns.

And do you, you know, I don't know.

Do you want to give a crown to something else?

Like, you know, we have reached the most Regal portion of our show, so

Yes, Trey.

I would love to do an induction for my Royal Highness, this Eve.

So for me personally, the value of a Manny petty for me is huge.

I feel like a totally new person.

I don't get them all the time.

Every once in a while.

I do.

I wanna specifically shout out green nail and Sherman Oaks.

Now don't go everybody making appointments there because I won't

I've been going to green nail for a long time.

Now, pretty much since they opened in 2014 and I'll give a special shout out to ne who is the

And the reason why I go back to this, this nail salon over and over, and again, is

She is on site and she is super passionate about keeping it.

Extremely clean to the point with every single time that I'm there.

She has a Swiffer she's out swiveling the floors.

Like there is a lot of concerted effort to make sure that it not only is it

We know that it's, it's not for show cuz you walk in and it's extremely clean and then

You can see that she really, really cares and, and it feels like she's the type of owner.

That understands when I get a Manny petty, I like it to be clean for me.

That is the number one requirement.

So I would like to induct Negan and green nail as my Royal Highness.

Thank you for doing my nails every six months.

Uh, probably since 2014.

I very much appreciate you.

And I wanna induct you as my Royal Highness.

Thank you, Megan.

Thank you.

Green nail.

Not to be confused with green nails, which is a different location and not the same owner.

yeah.

Green nail singular.

We did it Queen that is another round on the R

Ooh, magic.

you a RQ Ferris wheel

Goldie agrees.

All right.

Thank you so much for joining us today.

If you'd like what you heard, please tell a friend.

If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

If you'd like to support the production of our show, please visit

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Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to

Hit up our voice mailbox.

1 8 50 review, zero.

Let us know.

Are you a reader?

Do you have thoughts on today's episode, please let us know.

You can also follow us on all the socials at the review Queens.

I'm at ChelseyBD.

And I am at Trey Gerrald.

And on today's special Patreon only after show pod.

We are rating and reviewing a one star Yelp review for Jiffy lube in Los Angeles.

Oh, no.

Yep.

yep.

So to find out what made Trey say.

Watch out for as fuck out there and to find out what made Chelsey say.

Definitely watch

Then join our Patreon over at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review

out

In the meantime, remember

Yes.

Ignore the haters.

You're our Queen.

Even you may.

gender nonspecific dumbed door Hogwartz Queen.

Gender non-specific Queen may Queen

Hogwarts.

magic.

Bye.

I can't think of any other teams,

What teams?

Oh, raving.

Claw.

Yeah.

Bye.

Hufflepuff.

Bye.

Magic.

That Review as an independent podcast, certain names have been redacted

And sound designed by Trey Gerrald with voiceover talents by edit Eva Kaminsky.

Our cover art was designed by Lobo and our theme song was written by

We.

Do you believe in magic?

When I saw the Harry Potter shut, like play on Broadway.

It was well, both plays, but now it's one play.

It was the most magical experience.

I've.

Out in the theater.

Oh my God.

The special effects were crazy Chelsey can't!' if it's in LA you have to go see it.

It is crazy.

Yeah.

I hate missing all the Broadway fun.

I do remember when that came out, the whole shtick about it was that it was like

It was like doing a double.

Well, they weren't musicals.

Um, they were too, like, it's like see, uh, angels in America.

Like they were like two, two hour and 45 minute

Crazy.

two.

Yeah.

it was cool though.

Oh

long play too.

All right.

Well, I'll be on the bucket list.

Keep your

your wands up