When it comes to being “positive” there are often some dark moments. To begin this journey, imagine how you would respond . . .

Are you ready to go from “Great” to “Excellent”? What about from “Excellent” to “Transcendent”?

Are you ready to spot where you’re being manipulated? And by whom?

Are you ready to give up the one behavior that feels threatening to almost everyone you meet?

By the end of this session you may be a little more comfortable in your own skin or you may not. Either way, you’ll be forever touched by this gentle giant.

In each episode, you’re invited to unplug from the world and plug-in to Your Brain ON Positive.

About the Guest:

I am a Husband, Father, Executive Coach and Leadership Mentor To Men. Most importantly, I am a first-hand witness as to what happens when a man’s life hits rock bottom, because mine did. I actually like to call this period of time my rock bottom sandwich, because I was already at rock bottom then another rock bottom smashed on top of me. My life was like an Oreo cookie, I was the filling and it brought me to my knees. My mission in life is to prevent from ever living a rock-bottom sandwich moment.

Learn more about Sanyika at:

https://theallinceo.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theallinceo/

About Jackie:

Jackie Simmons writes and speaks on the leading-edge thinking around mindset, money, and the neuroscience that drives success.

Jackie believes it’s our ability to remain calm and focused in the face of change and chaos that sets us apart as leaders. Today, we’re dealing with more change and chaos than any other generation.

It’s taking a toll and Jackie’s not willing for us to pay it any longer.

Jackie uses the lessons learned from her own and her clients’ success stories to create programs that help you build the twin muscles of emotional resilience and emotional intelligence so that your positivity shines like a beacon, reminding the world that it’s safe to stay optimistic.

TEDx Speaker, Multiple International Best-selling Author, Mother to Three Girls, Grandmother to Four Boys, and Partner to the Bravest, Most Loyal Man in the World.

https://jackiesimmons.info/

https://sjaeventhub.com

https://www.facebook.com/groups/yourbrainonpositive

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Welcome back to Your Brain On Positive. All the love and support you need is residing inside of you. And we're going to make it easier to turn it off.

Welcome to your brain on positive. This show is designed around you to bring you the ideas that will flip that switch in your brain. So you spend a little more time on the positive side of life. To help us get there. Today, we're going to be talking with Sanyika Street, the pause there is to allow space for his nickname that you're going to find out the story behind today. So hang on, here we go, you know, the rods gonna get more interesting from here. Welcome Sanyika, I am so excited. And my first question is, of course, did I pronounce your name correctly?

You absolutely did. And that is absolutely the first question that you need to ask. Because when people do not ask me what my first how to pronounce my first name, it reminds me that they are not listening. My name, my name and my height are the two first topics of conversation in any any situation that I get. So for me, they're both like icebreakers. So as soon as, as soon as we've talked about whether or not they pronounce my name correctly, or what it means, and just my size in general, we're best friends.

Well, there we go. You know, the funny thing about a podcast, nobody knows just how tall you are. And of course you are sitting down at the moment. So how tall are you all go ahead and play

got a deal to me. So, you know, it's like a, like, War of the Worlds right? It's like the throwback to radios like no one actually knows. It's got people doing magic tricks on the radio and stuff like that. So. So yeah, so for my next trip, my height will be six, eight.

Whoa, okay. So you do stand out and stand out in a crowd.

Literally everywhere I go. Like I was at I was at Sprouts one day. And he was at least he was at least, like 610 or 611. And I was like, Yeah, I was like, you could have got it.

There we go. At that moment, you were not the tallest man in the room.

That's a pleasure to be here. By the way. Thank you for graciously having me. I am I am grateful.

I'm delighted. When I started the podcast, the world according to Jackie had actually started as a radio show. And the idea behind it was to help people own their space, not just the space around them. But the space that is the most important that little piece of space behind your eyes in between your ears. And what has come out of that is of course I get to meet people like you and there is no doubt and it's not because you're tall. Alright has nothing to do with being six, eight. You own your space when you walk into a room. Now when I met you, and you still do you have a nickname attached to your name. And so what's the story? What's your world? Like? How did you end up being a Firestarter?

I have a I have a I'm gonna directly answer the fire. So the question, can I ask you a question about owning space?

Oh, absolutely.

What in your view of me? Why do you think that I own my space.

the why behind it is what I want to find out. And so we're going to go there. So why you own your space, how you do it. Part of it is simply because you are obviously comfortable in your own skin. When someone owns their space, they are emotionally on triggerable for the most part, it's like I call it wearing a layer of emotional Teflon. As opposed to the way I used to be. I used to walk into a room and by the time I walked across a room full of people. It was like I was wearing a suit of negatively charged emotional Velcro and everybody's negative emotions were stuck to me and it felt really heavy. Yeah, so you don't seem to carry other people's stuff. That's what I mean by owning your space. You don't know so that's how it came about.

Thank you for that that's a beautiful distinction I want to I'm gonna tell you about the fire started thing and then I circle back to the to the neck carrying other people's stuff if that's okay with you. I got the name fight. I was at a I was pursuing the development of a career as a keynote speaker, I did a keynote talk. And friend of mine, very accomplished British producer and musician with a band called London beat, and, and he came with me after the talk, he said, He's like, he's like, I think you're great. He's like, he's like, I think with my help, we can get you from great to excellent. And it's an excellent to transcend. And I was like, well sign me up. When is that? And then he, we have a zoom call, like, this is one of my very first coaching calls. He was the coach in this instance. And he looked at me, he says, he says, So tell me, he said, he said, So what do you do? I said, Well, I'm a coach, and I'm a speaker storytelling. And then he said, No, no, no, no, no. He said, those are modalities. He said, What do you do? And I was like, I have no idea how to answer this question. Like a minute goes by and two minutes, go back. Three minutes, four minutes, about about the five minute mark. I circled back to him. And then I said, I just mumbled some level, but I just like a low tone of voice. I said, I said, I think I start fires in people. And then he said, obviously a fireside. And it's interesting that I asked her about my size, because what happened after that, he said, sit with him for a week, come back and let me know what you think about. I know what to do. I was just like, What did he just say? I don't even know what to say you just experienced. And then I went to this other guy who was helping me to develop my media and media kit at the time. And I asked him, I said, what you think about this fire started thing, because we were doing branding? And it was like, What do you think about that? And he said, he said, you know, send you guys like, I'm not really crazy about the fire started thing. I think it should be something more about your height, because you don't talk about your height. And then I said, I thought about it that night. I think I called my mom that night. And then the next day, I said, No, I said, I think I'm gonna roll with fire. So the thing I said, Because I said not everybody can be six, eight, but everybody can be a Firestone just to put a pin in that, you know, one of the first human innovations was the discovery of controls back. Fire revolutionized the world. It transformed the world, there would be no travel without fire because we could not transfer heat, there would be no light in the night. Fire killed foodborne illness, it allowed us to cook food, fire and literally transform the entire world. So without fire you and I may not be here right now we have lived in a simulated back. And so the idea of of the of the the first, the tribal leaders in the shamans of our time used to gather us around the fire. And so the first leaders of our time were the people that started the fire, they were the fire starter. So at a core level, it is about leadership. And it is about lighting the fire within lighting the fire under someone's ass, and at the same time holding the torch to paint a vision of the future at the same way.

Oh, that's beautifully said. I love the way you unpack that. And I love the story of a coach because I am a firm believer that well they say if you want to go far you go with people. And if you want to go fast, you go by yourself? I don't think so. I think that we go further and faster. When we work with mentors and coaches. That's been my story. I certainly did not go very far on my own or very fast. So

without questions, yeah, I was a master of what I call incubating my own ideas. I'm talking about that, you know, if you sit down in a room with yourself and think of an idea, it is always an excellent idea. And then when you put rubber to the road, and you start realizing that it's not working for the way that you want it to work, and it's not happening in the time in which you want it to happen. And then you start getting discouraged. You're like, Well, I tried everything and I'm like did you really try everything? Because I think you know one of the things about about me and my love the fact that you don't you just brought up that they're traveling fast with other people. Because you know, I always call it battle tested knowledge. So if you are rolling with somebody who has battle tested knowledge, who who, who has the ability to be able to see through the parts of you that have been manipulating you to stay in the in the mire and the muck that you have currently been. Because many of us have been manipulating ourselves for our entire lives. And trust me I have learned to see through all and the even in my own Oh, and by the way, I have coaches as well to this day, and because you can't even see through all of your own ship,

oh, I call it the elephant in the room, you know, we're really good at spotting it for other people. You know, I mean, I trained coaches in my modality now you I train them to be elephant spotters, you know, we go on elephant hunts for each other. Because it's hard to see your own elephants, it's hard to spot your own limiting beliefs. It just is, it's the human condition. But boy, we're good at spotting them. For other people. I like getting paid for

that. Like you have been trained by people like you to be able to spot them, but you need to be trained at spot. So for instance, I can project and I can say, you know, I can spot your limit what I perceive to be a limiting belief, but at the same rate, it's there's also something to there's a delicacy to, there's a nuance to it, because it's not, you know, I was talking to one of my graphic designers on my team. And I said, they said, you know, if you liked this, and I said, it doesn't really matter. I mean, from my own perspective, yes. And really, the question is, is it effective? Is it effectively accomplishing the objective of which I'm looking to accomplish? And so from a conceptual standpoint, the only reason that I would need to spot a limiting belief is, is as you move in pursuit of the attainment of an objective, and so is the objective is the is the limiting belief blocking you from getting what you want. That's what I tell people all the time I say coaching, it's not about some altruistic endeavor, in terms of turning you into luck. And Buddha, I don't really give a shit about that. My intention is to help you get what you want. That is it. That's the only reason people come to me. They come to me to get what they want. That's it. So is it is the limiting belief blocking you from being able to get that that's where I come.

And I'm going to add if it's alright, because I love this. The only point you're right, the only point in going on an elephant Hunt is is it in the way of something you want. And the other piece for me that caused me the most anguish to learn was that it has to be permission based. It is not kind to go and point out people's elephants without their permission. My daughter's taught me that. Matter of fact, you've got so bad that they started their phone conversations with me by saying, Mom, I'm calling to vent don't.

So I'd love to speak to that. If it's that's okay, absolutely. I find that my leadership style is seeking enrollment at every point along the journey. So before I shoe out a client for not stepping into his greatness, I asked him for his permission. And can offer a suggestion, are you open to some feedback? can I provide some reflection? And I ask it often, my clients, sometimes they get annoyed at how often I ask. And I tell them, I always seek permission for those types of things, even when they gave me permission, by paying me to be in their environment, still seek permission. And one of the reasons that I do that is because, you know, I would imagine that this is something that you already you've already practiced. But you know that the human body cannot tell the difference between a real threat and a perceived threat. The perception of a saber toothed tiger or lion is the same thing. As a real fight, we receive it the same way our body responds the same way your somatic nervous system will literally deliver a muscle memory response as a result of that experience. And so what happens is that many people who go through that go through their journey in life, have been trained by people who, who invaded their space with unsolicited advice in the human body receives unsolicited advice as a physical threat.

Yes. And even though they claim that there are some gender differences and how that lands in the physical body, I'm not buying it. I absolutely believe that you are correct, because if we, it's the implied judgment that somebody's done something wrong. And if we are being made wrong, we're taught evolutionarily, to fight that. And the worst part is that if it happens when we're really young, we can't fight it. We can't stay emotionally present for it. And I call that getting a hole in your soul. Because a little kid, viscerally gut wise knows if you leave me I will die. So they cannot make the adult wrong. They don't have the cognitive ability, the perception, they don't have a prefrontal cortex. So the kid to survive psychically and emotionally starts to believe a lie. And the lie is, there must be something wrong with me. And it pokes a hole in the soul of their ability to be authentic to be an integrity to believe in themselves. And I've spent my whole life trying to figure this out because I had so many holes punched in me. By the time I was in my 20s, I could not put enough success and joy in the top. It all just leaked out. And other people's crappy attitudes and beliefs could see Beth. And I didn't know where I ended and other people began. And that's how this all evolved is I am on a mission to help people understand what who they are the integrity of who they are, and owning that. You brought up something I want to come back to, if you don't mind. You said the body and brain can't tell the difference between a real threat and a perceived threat. Yes, and a remembered threat. PTSD is nothing more than a remember threat. But there's another side to this coin that people don't talk about San Diego and it is what gets me up and gets me juice every single day. The body can't tell the difference between a real, loving, exciting, joyful experience, a perceived loving, exciting and joyful experience or the memory of one. And we can now know how to use our abilities with our brains to rewire a little bit away from that natural negative bias that helped our ancestor the caveman survive, and enjoy the joy. So I am determined to land this plane on the joy. What is it that you are the most joyful about today?

I will answer that question directly. As I walked into the studio today, I remembered where I was last year, when the pandemic and it was in March. It was around if we were just getting news of the spreading of the virus in the US. And it was things were starting to heat up over a week. And it was like Thursday, Friday, and over the weekend, it just blew up. And then that Monday, a lot of shit started hitting the fan. But the thing that I was thinking about as I was walking into the studio during that period of time was very similar to the place that I found myself that is I was like, I am so grateful to be in a position to be of service. I can't tell you how grateful I am to be like literally having this conversation with you. Because regardless of where you you know, trajectory beats position, so regardless of where you currently are, are at in your journey in terms of launching this, this this vision, you have already done something exceptional. And I am grateful that my contribution helps to accelerate your firing. So and because during the pandemic, when the pandemic and I made a declaration to myself, I said, You know what, I am not going to fall into the muck in the mire of what is happening around the world. And what I did is on one day on Facebook, I posted I said, if you feel like you're going through a rough period of time, leave a heart in the comments. And then I will send you a direct message of inspiration of love. And just to lift your spirits. Would you like to know how many people commented on that

post? I'd love to know how many people commented on that post

125. I sent out 125 direct messages, I had no idea how long that was gonna take. And the in that in that period of time. And I felt so overwhelmed with joy as a result of going through that process. You know, and it reminded me of this moment, you know, and I put out the best said, Look, firstly, people that reach out to me, I'll be your podcasts. And then I got like 14 messages. How can you be friend and I were having a conversation the other day. And he said, in we both agreed on this. My mom used to say that she's willing when I was going through you said you hit your plateau in your 20s I had a lot of my early 30s where my world was crashing down because I was stepping into accepting radical responsibility for my life. And I had no idea. And my mom said you gonna be of service. And Fred was talking about, you know, the creative Aiden was like, hey, you know, help others. And that's exactly what I said, You know what, let me just be of service. Let me just be of service in this moment. Similar to last year, the gratitude and the joy for literally just being

when just showing up is enough. You're no you are in the center of your own life. That was a beautiful, beautiful story. Yeah, at the beginning of the pandemic, who knew I was coming in off of another trip. I was in the midst of setting up the nonprofit the teen suicide prevention society with my daughters. The pandemic shut everything down and we got our 501 C Three, we got that launched on April 1, last year, we had no idea the need was going to go through the roof. So we are calling everyone to join the teen suicide prevention society because it's on a mission to make teen suicide a thing of the past. And that mission now is spread. And I realized that everything I do, interviewing people like you, people who know how to inspire themselves first, so that they have the energy to inspire others, which is what I see in you. This is on target. For me, this is part of the mission to make suicide in general a thing of the past, because when you are inspired by your life, you don't have any interest in leaving it.

I don't have any interest in leaving. And if this life was over, in this moment, I wouldn't be satisfied in full acceptance. So I operate in, you know, to be in this in the greatest space of I have to operate in this place of acceptance, I was having a conversation with the other day. And he was talking about how he was so upset the fact that his custody situation with his partner and and I have never seen anybody going outside arguing with gravity. I have never seen nobody who was mad that they can't fly. If you are operating an acceptance of what is then you become the standard. And so my question to you is are you willing to be the standard said that things move around you as opposed to you trying to turn gravity into a bouncing ball, about, you know, into a bounce house so that you can start flying through the world. But But acceptance is the greatest form of being able to create of creation. Creation comes from a place of I wanted to just say something about your mission. So I want to share this with you. When the drops in the bucket because something just came to me. Are you open to receiving it? Absolutely. This is one of the things that like, it challenges maybe the preconceived notion of maybe what your mission is. But look, I'm I help my help guys develop their businesses all the time. And we talk about, you know, where do you help people on the point in their journey. And there's something that you said, that just registered with me about the relationship that you have with us that with your daughters, and you said something about targeting, like that, being able to help mothers heal the wounds with their daughters is not only like that, is that like there are millions of relationship relationships and millions? I'm just posing that to you, because were you to allow yourself to step into that possibility. I think it could be an untapped marketplace. And I think you'd be able to serve people, I think you'd be able to create massive amount of impact income and influence in that space. That is all my only offering

I love that I I'm going to take that not only into my heart, but I have turned over the majority of the work of the teen suicide prevention society to my daughters who are now you know, a little on the more mature side. And they're taking over some of the speaking, they're taking over a lot of the Reach out. So yeah, that's really an interesting place to play. So thank you very much for that.

So it's called the mother wound, by the way the mother, the mother

wound, never heard of that.

You look it up, send me a message back to the Father.

Got it. Okay. So I will pass that on. And we will continue with that. I love that. The place we started, was with a TEDx talk on how to stop teen suicide. And we came up with a really short script. And we do demos now to groups and individuals of how to have the talk. Before you think it's needed, how to have the talk about suicide before you think it's needed. With your kids and your loved ones. We call it suicide proofing the world. So we didn't start out that way. We started out like every other Suicide Prevention Program, trying to intervene with people at risk. Where we ended up with was way upstream. We want to stop people from ever becoming at risk. That's our job. Thank you for that idea. I will look up those two wounds and the world is in great need of what you are doing. And so thank you very much for sharing your wisdom with me for being part of this conversation for everyone who listens to this show, and for letting us come in a little bit in To the world, according to San Diego,

it is such a pleasure. Thank you so much for having, you know, you're just getting started, right? What I mean by that I'm not just talking about like, sequentially. Like, I mean, like there's, there is more. The shaman in me is saying that from another lifetime but you're just getting set.

There's an interesting conversation. I'd like to invite you back in the future and we'll pick up from there. Thank you San San Diego. Absolutely. Thank you for being part of this conversation with San Diego Street, the firestarter. I hope that you enjoyed the journey into a space that kind of goes from six foot eight, noticeable on a street to asking permission to speak. And if you don't take anything away from today's conversation, remember to ask permission before you speak, especially if it's advice that you might not have been asked for. Have a great day. We'll see you next time.