There's the version of yourself you've been told to be and then there's the one who shows up when the recording keeps going because the conversation is too good to stop. This week, Thea, Audrey, and Lana couldn't stop yapping, and what unfolds is a raw examination of the work that doesn't show up in your business plans: discernment, friendship dynamics, and the discipline of knowing which race you're actually running.

This conversation is what happened when we realized we weren't done processing, and hit record again. Audrey shares her journey of being labeled "too much" and why she's finally done apologizing for taking up space. Lana dissects the difference between friends who project their bench onto your Olympic aspirations. And Thea reminds us that agility (not rigid planning!) is the only framework that serves the most demanding lives.

What emerges a conversation about frameworks: how to schedule your life first, how to recognize when advice is actually projection, and why the most important work you'll do in 2026 will very likely be the discernment no one sees.

LISTEN IN FOR...

1. The "too much" narrative women inherit and why reclaiming it is an act of sovereignty.
2. Audrey's "green broke" revelation: what happens when structure collapses and you have to rebuild from authenticity instead of achievement.
3. The Olympic team metaphor: understanding friendship dynamics when some people want to jog around the track and others are training for gold.
4. Why verbal processing is simply how some of us think.
5. The projection problem: how to recognize when you're giving advice to yourself instead of trying on someone else's limitations.
6. Agility as the antidote to rigid planning and why asking "what do I really want right now?" is the most strategic question you can ask in the new year.
7. The work that moves the needle: discernment, rest, and friendship.
8. Why scheduling your life first is the litmus test for whether you're creating the life of your dreams or just checking boxes.
9. Eldest daughter energy, second child chaos, and birth order baggage we're all still unpacking.
10. The courage to protect your time and energy without apology (because it's okay to let people find their own team).

TL;DR (MINUTE BY MINUTE)

1. 00:00 The episode that wasn't supposed to happen: why conversation deserves more than a hard stop.
2. 02:30 The open seat invitation: this is a group chat, not a lecture series.
3. 03:50 "Green broke" and barely broke: Audrey's sweatshirt and the second child who learned to boss herself around.
4. 04:30 When structure collapses: the bro energy that got her far, and the authenticity that got her further.
5. 07:00 "You're too much": unpacking the narrative women are handed and why it's time to hand it back.
6. 12:15 The Olympic team vs. running the track: why your friends need to know which race you're in.
7. 18:40 Verbal processing and why apologizing for how you think is exhausting.
8. 24:00 The projection trap: recognizing when advice comes from your own story.
9. 29:30 Agility over rigidity: why flexibility is the most strategic advantage you need.
10. 35:00 The work that matters: discernment, rest, friendship and the boring priorities that actually move the needle.
11. 41:00 Scheduling your life first: the radical act of prioritizing what you think will "wait."
12. 47:00 Knowing their goals before giving advice: the considerate work of meeting people where they are.
13. 50:30 The answer that doesn't look like the answer: tedious, boring, and utterly essential.

WHERE TO GO FROM HERE

1. Your turn: What resonated? Which conversation do you need to have? Tag our host Thea @thea.does.all.the.things and let's keep this conversation going.
2. Download the playbook: Did you miss this?! Thea dropped her entire strategy framework last week free, comprehensive, and proven. Stop whining, start implementing. Get THE PLAYBOOK now.
3. Request a seat at the table: Want us to sit down with someone? Know a woman who's doing the work and deserves the conversation? Slide into the DMs or shoot us an email at admin@cowgirlsovercoffee.com - because we're drafting the group chat of 2026.
4. You're in the conversation now: Subscribe to the podcast, share this episode with the friend who needs to hear it, and keep showing up. This is where driven women talk about the discernment, the friendships, the agility, and the audacity it takes to refuse to settle.
5. Thea Larsen: @thea.does.all.the.things
6. Audrey Hall: @audreyetta
7. Lana Wilkes: @small.town.preachers.wife

SEO KEYWORDS & TAGS: Women entrepreneurs, female business owners, friendship boundaries, discernment in business, agility mindset, women in leadership, cowgirl entrepreneurs, authentic living, personal growth for women, business mindset, female empowerment, work-life balance, strategic thinking, entrepreneurship for women, Western lifestyle, verbal processing, eldest daughter syndrome, friendship dynamics, intentional living, women supporting women, rural ranch life.

Okay.

2

It may be you guys.

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All right.

4

It may be the second week of January

for you, but we actually, after we

5

stopped recording last week's episode,

um, 'cause Meg's has a real job

6

and she had other things backed up.

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So we were trying to like,

be respectful of her time.

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We were like, oh, we can't shut up yet.

9

And as Audrey so aptly said, like,

some people just aren't yappers.

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Um, 'cause I was like, I,

like, we just wanted to keep

11

talking and I, and I, again,

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Lana: never can stop talking.

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Audrey: I'm a

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Thea: know, but this

is what it's here for.

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And I hope that like you guys,

as you're listening to this, um.

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I just wanted to be fully transparent.

17

Like, it's not like this was thought up.

18

We're just like, let's do it again.

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And I'm like, yeah,

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Audrey: we're gonna.

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Thea: again.

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We're gonna riff.

23

So, um, I wanna also say,

this is what I wanna bring.

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Like this is, this is the vibe

and the energy that I wanna bring

25

in 2026 is like, let's just talk

more again, I, I, I know I am a.

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Lana: real conversations too.

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Thea: and I, I'm, I keep beating the

dead horse, but like conversation,

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conversation, conversation.

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And I specifically use that word

because that's what I want it to be.

30

I want it to be a conversation.

31

So I will also say.

32

Tag us, uh, cowgirls over coffee,

screenshot this episode, let us know.

33

But like, who do you want

us to like sit down with?

34

Because these, I know there's,

there's something in me that was

35

always like, oh, I love those, the

structure of a one-on-one chat.

36

But like, it's just not me.

37

Like I, I like these group

chats, so if you wanna.

38

Pick up a hot seat or there's someone you

wanna see like sit down next to all of us.

39

Like it's gonna be me and Lana and Audrey

and Megs and Kelly and probably a couple

40

other of those of us who are like, like

in our circle of, you know, of flow.

41

But um.

42

Yeah, if you wanna hear us

chat with somebody, um, let

43

Lana: We love to chat,

44

Thea: We do, like, as Audrey said,

some people just aren't yappers,

45

but if you'd like to hear us yap

with someone, not just at them.

46

Um, and that's how we want

it to be with you too.

47

Like, we don't want you to feel

like we're just yapping at you.

48

Uh, at

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Audrey: But we kind of are.

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Thea: We kind of are, but like, please

know that it's with an open seat.

51

Like it's right here.

52

So, um, let's, let's pick up where,

'cause we were like, we actually stopped

53

for a second, took a little coffee

and bathroom break and then came back

54

and Audrey was like, Hey, what

about Atlanta was like, let's

55

shut this and hit record because

we're missing the good stuff.

56

And

57

this, this is the kind of

conversations I wish for you.

58

Um.

59

In the coming year Is this like,

shh, so we can actually record

60

this because it's so good.

61

We should probably put all of

the transcripts into AI so we can

62

remember what we said to follow up on.

63

'cause you know what, Audrey, we

still had like our lock-in episode

64

Audrey: We do we,

65

need a follow

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Thea: we'll follow up on that.

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Like all of 2026 is like a lock-in.

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Audrey: Yeah.

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Lana: Yeah.

70

Thea: thinking?

71

What's your 2026 look like?

72

Audrey just wants to talk about herself.

73

You guys, she was like,

I just wanna kidding.

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Audrey: Well, I think that, so

I'm such a verbal processor.

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Thea: I know.

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Same.

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Audrey: you know, like, and it's even,

you know, it's funny 'cause last night

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we were voice memoing back and forth

and I was like, Thea, I just had this BA

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and then I was

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like,

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here's this, this.

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But then let

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me go back.

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and process and make sure that, like, let

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me make sure that I am processing

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my own thoughts, um, before

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someone else.

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feeds into them.

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But I'm just such a verbal processor and

I, and again, maybe it's because I am.

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I don't know why.

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I'm not even gonna

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guess why it, it is just

the way God made me.

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Yeah.

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He's like, Audrey, you are a yapper

and you're a verbal processor and

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it's super funny 'cause like I didn't

grow up at home like that, like

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Thea: You know

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Audrey: at all.

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Thea: think I did either.

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I

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Audrey: didn't,

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Thea: I am the like.

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Yeah, like too much sugar

kid in the family like that

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just will not stop talking.

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Audrey: I'm the second child.

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So if that tells anybody anything about,

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Thea: I'm an eldest daughter

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Lana: I am too.

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Thea: eldest daughter baggage.

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Lana: We'll

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boss you around.

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Audrey: Oh, thank you.

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Thank you, thank you.

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Um, so I got this sweatshirt from, I got

this sweatshirt and it said green broke.

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It says green broke.

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And um, I Snapchatted one of

my girlfriends and I was like.

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Look at this sweatshirt, and she's like,

you need one that says barely broke.

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And she's an oldest daughter also.

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And I'm like, I literally

do, but you know what?

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I am embracing, I'm embracing the, I

wanna call it like, I don't know if I

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wanna call it the mess or the chaos or

like whatever it is, I'm embracing that

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side of myself because for so long.

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Um, I brought the bro energy to everything

that I was doing, and I was trying to

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be so structured and this and that, and

dah, dah, dah, and I got really far,

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like, I was really, really successful

and I plowed through a lot of things.

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And then when everything, I'm gonna call

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it collapsed, because that feels

dramatic, and then it feels

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like anything

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Thea: Well, I'll tell you that, trying

to say that you feel like you're

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being dramatic is a trauma response.

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So probably what?

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Yeah.

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Like thinking that you're being too

much or being dramatic or making too,

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too much out of your like hurts or

whatever is like a trauma response

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Audrey: Well, that's interesting because

I just, I think that, okay, this whole

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too much thing, we're gonna squirrel okay.

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Thea: yeah, I'm here for the too

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Lana: Here we go.

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Audrey: This

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whole, too much conversation.

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I am.

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And I think this kind of ties into where

I'm like, I'm just gonna be whoever I am.

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I am barely broke.

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I am barely broke.

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Like so, but it's okay because

I have other superpowers.

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And I think that's kind of what I really

wanna embrace because when you can

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embrace like your other superpowers, like,

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and I've said this

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before, like I create

structure around some of

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the things that I know need

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structure and everyone's like,

oh my gosh, you're so organized.

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And

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I'm like, I'm not, not

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even in the slightest.

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But I need structure.

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Thea: That's

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Audrey: tactical things,

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Thea: because I have to like, that's

like all, like that is where this place

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of all of the things that I created

for the membership is because I'm like

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I, that is not a spiritual gifting.

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Like I am not disciplined.

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I am not focused.

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I am not organized.

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And I realized when I.

164

Drug myself.

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When I drug happy go lucky Thea

over and sat her down and was like,

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look at your stinking calendar.

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Make a plan, write a list

for the grocery store.

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It gave me so much ease in the day to

day and I was like, I have to do this.

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Not because I'm good at it.

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I, what I'm really good at is I'm good

at strategy and pattern recognition,

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and I think it's because I'm so chaotic.

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I'm a chaotic and like not chaotic,

and like, oh, I'm a hot mess.

173

I am not a hot

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Audrey: Right, right.

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Thea: I am not a hot mess,

but like there's a lot I

176

wanna do and a lot going on.

177

And again, I, I just

like all of the things.

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So I'm right there with you where

it's like, yeah, I just had to

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get really strategic about these

things that, that will support me.

180

Like this is the infrastructure.

181

It's so

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Audrey: The, yeah.

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Lana: It is because we're

so good at winging it.

184

I mean, when you're

185

amazing at winging it, you can,

you can get away with a lot

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Audrey: Right.

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Lana: and which does

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Thea: I said about.

189

Well, that's what I said about like on

last week's episode where I was like

190

asking about like the independence.

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Like I have been rewarded

for my bad behavior.

192

Like I am rewarded for winging it.

193

I am rewarded for being independent.

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I am rewarded.

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Like there's a piece in it.

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There's a kernel in

that that is like that.

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Such a good, like, such a good

positive thing, like my ability

198

to figure things out, my ability

to keep going and be tenacious.

199

Like those are like the seeds of goodness.

200

Like those are really good seeds,

but sometimes they amplify into a

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way that's like, not good for you.

202

And like, yeah, it's like, oh,

look at me, wing it and get like,

203

and then teaches me to wing it.

204

And then I'm living off the

adrenaline rush of winging it.

205

Like, it's so easy.

206

But again, that's what makes

you like, I think that's where

207

it's like, um, what do they say?

208

Like talent.

209

Work beats talent when

210

Audrey: talent every time.

211

Yeah,

212

Thea: And I think that's like this

whole like high energy, high achiever

213

thing is like we have so much talent.

214

Like we have so much rocket fuel and

just the way the system is built and

215

like we could probably go all the

way back to like, you know, societal

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pressures, patriarchy, education system.

217

It rewards us for not in

court, like taking our talent

218

and working with it, right?

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Audrey: yes.

220

So remember that meme?

221

I think I sent it to you, Thea.

222

There's a meme and it

was like, okay, like our

223

Goal is to achieve all

224

of the things, which

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that's not what I said, but

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I'm using that.

227

The

228

goal is to

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achieve all the things

without not crash, without

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not crashing

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out,

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not

233

burning out, not,

234

ruining our health.

235

All of these things.

236

And I think that what this reward

system that you're talking about, like

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I went

238

off and built an entire empire.

239

And was so burnt out

240

and.

241

All of

242

Like,

243

so burnt out.

244

And so, but there was,

245

re reward, you know, I did what I did

246

in four years.

247

What partners grown men that

248

were like, had two or three

249

partners did, and, you know, 10 year, like

I was on this trajectory of bam, bam, bam.

250

And then I looked back and so did it.

251

Crash and burn was ace.

252

There was a successful

handoff for the most part.

253

Like, and so that you could look

at it as success, but where was.

254

Like what happened to my heart in the

255

process and what happened to like my,

like my light and my joy and all of

256

these things.

257

And so I had

258

dialed

259

in

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my strategies and

261

my tactical stuff,

262

and I became, like, I worked within this

263

box to

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get to the end goal, but then I

265

lost a lot of like the, the joy

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about,

267

me.

268

You know,

269

like I'm just that fun loving, like

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Audrey will

271

Thea: broke.

272

Audrey: Yeah,

273

I'm barely broke.

274

And

275

so, but.

276

Lana: I think too, like okay, so deciding

what your top priority is and whatever,

277

but like what you said earlier about like

you bulldoze through it, I think that is

278

part of it too, is like when we're so busy

bulldozing to wherever we would, wherever

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we wanna go, we are not interruptible.

280

And I think

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Audrey: Oh, come on.

282

Lana: we have to be interruptible

for our, for our friends, for

283

our family, for the random

284

Thea: God to whisper in your ear,

like, 'cause you can't hear it.

285

Lana: in your ear.

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Audrey: Was that at me?

287

Are you calling me out?

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Lana: Seriously,

289

Thea: I'm calling me out

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Audrey: Well, you're

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Lana: lose yourself, you

lose yourself in that too,

292

Thea: and then

293

Lana: yeah, you achieve what you want,

but you miss out on the blessing.

294

Thea: Oh, and also too, like can

we just talk defeat and resentment?

295

Like

296

Audrey: I know about

297

Thea: and like, and

298

Lana: And the shame that

comes with that too.

299

Audrey: man.

300

Thea: I think too often we conflate this

and this is where we get that false choice

301

and that false binary because here we

are, we're like, okay, look at what I

302

achieved 'cause I'm right there with you.

303

Look at what I achieved, all of this.

304

Oh, but it was empty.

305

No.

306

Success is not like correlation.

307

Causation, you can have success and

when you get there the right way,

308

when you, when you have the discipline

to do the right things, like you

309

can have the success and feel good,

like you do not have to compromise.

310

And I hate.

311

Compromise.

312

Lana: that also means you,

that also means you have to be

313

okay for it to be a slow win

314

because it doesn't always happen

as quickly, but I think you'll

315

feel better when you achieve

316

Thea: And

317

Lana: you have brought

the people with you.

318

Thea: And do you care?

319

I mean, really, do you care

if if someone sat you down?

320

It's like there's like, I'm

sure there's a meme out there.

321

It's like if you knew success was

inevitable, if I told you in 20 years for

322

a fact you will have billions of dollars,

the perfect marriage, wonderful children,

323

all of your health, like everything that

you could, like whatever your dream is.

324

If I was like, in 20 years, I promise you

it'll be there regardless of what you do.

325

Wouldn't that be a load off now?

326

Do you have to have it in 10?

327

No.

328

If I know it's guaranteed in 20 and I

don't have to like stress out about it,

329

like, and maybe it will be in there in 10

because no one said it's not there in 10.

330

No one said it's not there in five.

331

But if I will guarantee you at this

point, like do you care how fast it comes?

332

Audrey: This is such a good, because Okay.

333

'cause we're all like, we're

all Olympic level athletes.

334

Like this is the co the

335

thread that we're going with.

336

Yeah.

337

This is the team.

338

Let's go to the Olympics.

339

Um, so we're these Olympic

level athletes and we're sitting

340

here and we're like, okay.

341

I went to the Olympics

and I burnt out, But I

342

wanna go back to the Olympics.

343

but I don't wanna be burnt out.

344

And I

345

think, right, and so

346

it's so funny that you said like, does

347

it matter,

348

How does it matter how long,

349

it takes?

350

Because, um, like Sophia I

sent you yesterday where I was

351

like here's my plan.

352

like.

353

Thea: Yes.

354

Audrey: it's gonna take me four years

to do what I thought I was gonna do in

355

two years after I reworked everything.

356

And you're like, Audrey, two years,

that two year mark still is really good.

357

And I was like, it's why, like what is

358

in between my ears that I'm like,

359

Thea: and I'm okay with that too.

360

And this is the thing.

361

This is, this is what I'm

talking about, the conversation.

362

This is why you need the conversation.

363

Because your desire to be

like double, triple that

364

Audrey: Yeah.

365

two years

366

Thea: it's not gonna be

quite as good as I thought.

367

Like that's what keeps you pushing.

368

That's what will probably make your

two year mark be better than your

369

projection is because of that desire.

370

And then you need the

conversation that's like.

371

Look at this sister, like,

372

Audrey: Audrey, you're so good.

373

Yeah.

374

Well, and I, and it's

375

so

376

Lana: don't give up.

377

Audrey: and don't, that's the thing, don't

give up because I think that sometimes

378

we're a little bit all or nothing.

379

So I'm

380

like, well, if

381

Thea: Some, sometimes, sometimes

382

Lana: all the time, all

383

Audrey: so I'm like, if I go gangbusters,

then can I be better in two years?

384

But I think this is where like.

385

These

386

good

387

conversations with you guys

388

where you kind of.

389

grounded me.

390

And I was like,

391

okay, but

392

if I'm, if I, I just

need to be consistent.

393

I just need to be

394

consistent and let this all compound.

395

and if I'm, you

396

know,

397

what?

398

Insert my time allotment to

399

produce whatever

400

it is that I'm producing.

401

So if

402

I'm spending, I'm gonna

403

call it two

404

hours

405

a day to get

406

to that point in two

407

years.

408

Stop it.

409

And then that habit now

410

has been formed and I

can be chaos the rest

411

Of the day,

412

but in those two hours, I'm

building that habit to get

413

where I need to be in two years.

414

And then in four years

it compounds even more.

415

And this is the thing we miss,

I think sometimes, well maybe

416

everyone else has it figured out,

and I'm just now figuring it out.

417

Thea: no disclaimers in 2026.

418

Audrey: Thank you.

419

Thea: Yeah.

420

Audrey: One.

421

Forgets about that compound effect

because I want it this fast.

422

I want it Amazon fast.

423

And

424

who, and, and

425

this is the piece that I've real

as I've slowed down a lot in the

426

last like two or three

427

years.

428

One thing I really realized

429

is

430

there,

431

this is gonna be so cliche and I

really hope that the way I say this,

432

just hits

433

someone's heart

434

the way it needs

435

to hit.

436

'cause I really mean this in

the deepest part of my soul.

437

Like who I

438

Have

439

become in the last

440

three

441

years that I've slowed

down and been like, okay,

442

okay,

443

God, I'm not gonna,

444

miss your voice this time.

445

Right?

446

Like, I'm, I'm

447

here.

448

I'm

449

here

450

walking

451

slow and probably slower

than what I should

452

be

453

And I kind of kick myself

sometimes 'cause I'm

454

like, I'm almost at that two.

455

year mark if I would've started

456

a year ago, right?

457

Like,

458

but

459

Whatever.

460

Like who I, I know, I know.

461

but who Audrey is like,

and like who Audrey is and.

462

Like sitting

463

back,

464

enough to be like, okay, where am I?

465

Good

466

qualities?

467

Who am I supposed to be?

468

Like, who

469

am I becoming?

470

and learning that I don't

471

have to burn myself out to get to

472

where

473

he wants me

474

to be

475

and

476

who he's calling me

477

to be.

478

like I don't have to do.

479

that.

480

And so

481

spending

482

two hours instead of seven hours

483

in a

484

Lana: Right.

485

Audrey: burning out towards this

486

one goal,

487

we

488

have margin

489

and, and we ha

490

Even Olympic athlete

491

as Olympic

492

athletes, I declare we still need margin.

493

We need margin for the other things.

494

And

495

Lana: You absolutely need margarine.

496

I mean, you don't lose

497

yourself in the process

of attaining your goals.

498

I mean that, that's like the biggest

part is because when I was really high

499

functioning, amazingly, like getting

it all done, I was no longer available

500

for the best parts of me, for the

501

best parts of what God had for me too.

502

Right.

503

And that when you look, you didn't

see, I didn't see it at the time.

504

'cause

505

Audrey: Right.

506

Lana: yeah, I'm checking all the boxes.

507

I'm getting all the crap done.

508

But like when I look back, I was

like, I wasn't doing the things

509

I knew I should have been doing.

510

The things that were like so much deeper

than just like checking the box, but ugh.

511

Yeah.

512

Thea: I think there's like so much like

what you guys are talking about too.

513

Like I am just like, okay, so this

is my pattern recognition coming in.

514

I'm like, I'm over.

515

Or like I was sex, I

was successful and I was

516

Audrey: Come on.

517

Come on.

518

Thea: what I mean?

519

Like, like we need to like, I

think every time we say, or we

520

need to say, can I say and instead

521

because, and I think that's where

we get like a little bit tripped up.

522

And also too, just the wisdom of like.

523

Uh, there's just, I have so much more

wisdom and I, and I, it's like not our,

524

like, not to, not to shirk any blame.

525

Um, my sisters loves to tell me how

I'm not at fault, and I'm like, well,

526

technically I'm like, I can break this

down in a way that things are my fault.

527

Like, I'm not shaming

myself, but they're my fault.

528

And then that I think she wants

to reach through the phone

529

and slap the crap outta me.

530

But I'm like, when you, like you, I know

you learned, like you learned like going,

531

like when you're talking about your two

year mark, you learned if you put in.

532

You are like, if I put in two hours of

effort, if I put in six hours of effort,

533

I'm gonna get like, not even three times

a return, I'm gonna get 10 times a return.

534

Right.

535

And I think

536

Lana: But the question is, are you.

537

Thea: but Well, it does on your goal.

538

And that's the problem.

539

That's the problem is like, we need

to be looking at these things, uh,

540

from a place of wisdom where we want,

we want success and sustainability.

541

Like, and we don't sacrifice

su success for sustainability.

542

Like if it's sustainable because

you're not doing a damn thing.

543

Like that's no thank you.

544

Like just no thank you.

545

But like if it's success and I'm exhausted

and irritable and I can't sleep at

546

night and like then that's not success.

547

Like even if I hit my benchmark

or exceeded my benchmark.

548

And so I think this is where like

the observation where it's like,

549

again, I feel like this is wisdom.

550

Like you have had to,

you've had to like success.

551

Spectacularly succeed and spectacularly

crash out to like earn wisdom is earned.

552

And I hate that like 20, 20 year

olds, 25-year-old Thea hates that

553

like, wisdom is earned and you

have to have it like you have.

554

We just have to like, that's

the whole thing, right?

555

Like, but it's like feels and like

imagine what it's gonna be in 20

556

years when we have all these things

that we've sustainably achieved for

557

ourselves because we were wise about it.

558

Like, we're gonna look back at today.

559

You know,

560

Lana: And probably laugh at

561

Thea: and be like, oh my gosh,

I, I missed so many things.

562

And I love that for me, like I love

that for me to look back 20 years.

563

Lana: Yeah.

564

Thea: Gosh.

565

Audrey: it's interesting and that when

you said, if I put 10 times the effort,

566

am I gonna get 10 times the result?

567

And then Lana, you're like, but are you?

568

And

569

You know,

570

it's

571

interesting because

572

let's

573

talk about like the crash burnout.

574

Well,

575

so now I've spent two

576

years recovering, three years recovering

from the crash burnout, right?

577

Like

578

so.

579

did I achieve,

580

in a short amount of time?

581

Some really, really great things.

582

Ah-huh.

583

I sure did.

584

But

585

then,

586

the crash burnout caused

a two, three year delay,

587

and so

588

I think that

589

this

590

is like the wisdom

591

that,

592

and slow and steady runs the race.

593

Lana: We

594

hate

595

Thea: yeah.

596

You know what I mean?

597

Like Yeah.

598

Lana: Because it's so much harder.

599

It's so much harder because

600

I think women like us, we

like to go, go, go, go, go.

601

And it's really hard to not

602

Audrey: I

603

Thea: know what, can I

just say one more thing?

604

Like also you go fast in the straight

stretch and you slow down for the turns.

605

And I think that's where we miss out

is like we, we expect, like, we expect,

606

oh, like here's the answer, check,

and now I have the answer forever.

607

Like, go fast when the going is easy

and when you start to see a hairpin turn

608

coming up, then it's time to pump the dang

609

Audrey: you gotta

610

Thea: you know what I mean?

611

Audrey: the barrel.

612

Thea: The barrel.

613

Oh.

614

Lana: Yeah.

615

Yeah.

616

Audrey: I dunno anything about barrel

chasing, but I do know that you have

617

to rate the barrel because that's the

618

thing.

619

Like otherwise you come, you come

into that barrel too fast and you're

620

gonna swing way out on the backside

and you have no margin for the turn.

621

Like you have

622

no way to turn at that speed.

623

And so what if it's, okay?

624

Hear me out on this Slow

625

Thea: rate your steer, Audrey.

626

Like can we bring it back to something

you actually know about, like rate your

627

Audrey: Right, Myster.

628

Okay.

629

And okay.

630

Yes, because, because my problem

is that like I kind of wanna

631

crowd my steer sometimes.

632

So imagine that.

633

Thea: Imagine that.

634

I would never,

635

I would

636

Audrey: yeah.

637

And so it's, so it's actually

kind of interesting because like.

638

Like healing at these shows

now you kind of have to stay

639

a little bit further back and

640

Then

641

you're staying back,

642

You're staying back,

you're staying back, and

643

then

644

you kind of come in a little bit faster.

645

right?

646

So

647

there is a,

648

time and a place for the speed.

649

But

650

when

651

I'm like, when I'm rating my, when I'm

652

staying back

653

far enough I can,

654

see the whole picture in front

655

of me.

656

Like at.

657

Lana: Here we go.

658

That's such a good metaphor.

659

Thea: I know.

660

It's so

661

Audrey: not so good?

662

I'm telling you.

663

I'm telling you.

664

Um, it's,

665

Yeah, so you can

666

see everything in front

of you so you can make

667

the adjustments that you need to make.

668

Because if, if I'm crowding my

669

steer and I'm right here.

670

I can't make any adjustments.

671

like I just have to

672

take a shot and hope

673

that,

674

Lana: Mm-hmm.

675

Thea: and that's like the

worst possible strategy.

676

Audrey: the worst.

677

Pause, just Take a shot Yeah.

678

Yeah.

679

exactly.

680

So if you

681

kind of hang back far enough you can Not

too, but, but you can't be too far back

682

'cause then you have too

much space to catch up with.

683

Right.

684

So, um, but yeah.

685

So

686

What?

687

if we looked at these goals?

688

Okay.

689

So, and I

690

Know

691

the slow and steady one's,

the race is, makes me wanna

692

throw the mouth a little bit.

693

Um.

694

Thea: there's a time for that.

695

And then there's a time for the go fast.

696

Audrey: Yes.

697

And

698

Thea: yes.

699

Audrey: what if we were looking at our

goals from a more holistic standpoint?

700

And again, this is probably one

of those things that's like, duh.

701

But at the same time it's like,

and again, I appreciate where

702

You were like, Audrey,

703

that's

704

still a really, really

good two year trajectory.

705

And I'm like,

706

oh, you're right.

707

It is a really good two year trajectory.

708

Thea: somebody just has to say it to you.

709

Audrey: And Yeah.

710

And so

711

if I can

712

get there in two years and

713

what else can I,

714

do in those two years with

715

my,

716

extra?

717

Space time,

718

capacity, Yes.

719

I can

720

build deeper friendships so

721

that I don't

722

crash out

723

again because I then.

724

don't hermit and hide.

725

'cause I don't know how to operate in my

726

burnout crash out.

727

And I can set other goals

that are compounding and I

728

can, you know what I mean?

729

So there becomes more like

we can actually do more

730

in less time.

731

And this is how we have it

732

Thea: Okay, so I have to like, there's

two things I have to talk about.

733

One, I wanna circle back to like

having to have someone say it to you.

734

Um, but first I wanna say like, this is

what I'm talking about, like it's agility.

735

Like this is what we have to, like, being

able to know when to speed up, when to

736

slow down, like the rating, the taking

a look back, looking at everything.

737

Looking at the whole surroundings,

not just focusing on what's right

738

directly in front of you and being

able to pan in, pan out, shift gears.

739

Lean to the left, lean to the right.

740

Audrey: Yeah.

741

Thea: When we improve our strategic

agility across all domains of our

742

life, this is where it happens.

743

Because all these things slow and

steady, raise a race and don't

744

give up and simplify and, you

know, everything can be yours.

745

And, and, and, but what you

need is the agility to do that.

746

And then the other thing I wanna talk

about, 'cause we, we are gonna have so

747

many conversations about Be a Villager

this year, you guys, because like I'm,

748

I'm, I'm pissed about it, like I'm just.

749

I'm pissed, I'm angry and I'm like ready

to, like, let's, I'm tired of talking

750

about the same stinking problems,

751

Lana: Yes,

752

Thea: I'm just tired of like, I mean,

and so we're gonna talk about it.

753

I know, but, but it's like when you

are like, there's like two kinds

754

and I think it depends on like where

the people in your life are like

755

what, what season that they're in.

756

But like, you have to protect your hearts.

757

Guard your heart guys above all else,

758

because like, even the best, most

well-meaning friends, like, they

759

might be like, oh, well, Audrey, like,

there's a different energy between

760

like, oh, well, I mean, even if it's

half your goal, that's still really

761

good like that, that's, that's coming

from like kind of a negativity.

762

Like, you, you're shooting too high.

763

It's, you know, like kind of thing.

764

Or, but being like, Audrey,

look how good this is.

765

This is triple a principle.

766

Look at this.

767

And so it's the same thing, but

it's coming from a different place.

768

And I want to one urge us

always to be like, am I like?

769

'cause it's also our job to

like call our friend out.

770

Or if you're like running a hundred

miles an hour, I don't wanna be

771

cheering for you as you run off a cliff,

772

Audrey: right?

773

Please don't

774

Thea: yeah.

775

Right.

776

Please be like, you're doing really good,

but please don't run off the cliff like.

777

What Trump, right?

778

Like, so, so I'm just like, I think it's

so important that we like be a friend

779

like that and like also, and like I'm

here for like, I want to be obviously

780

like there's not, we've talked about

this as a good, another conversation.

781

Like there's different friends,

like there's some friends that

782

get your whole heart, right?

783

Like they get your whole.

784

Cut it open.

785

Here's the icky parts and the

good parts and the everything.

786

And then other friends, they

just don't get your whole heart.

787

And that's fine.

788

Like that's, and I had a really, I, that

was a big lesson for me to learn that I

789

had to have like not my whole heart on the

table for everyone who wants to pass by.

790

Um.

791

That's a whole other conversation, but

like, you know, like know those people

792

that will be able to call you, call you

out on things, but doing it, you can

793

call someone out and cheer for them.

794

Like, it's not like, because I feel

like too often there's, we all have, um.

795

We've all had these people that kind of

like circulate through our life where

796

they think they're being helpful, like

the Debbie Downer, but the, it's like

797

disguised as being helpful and then

like, that's fine every once in a while.

798

Right.

799

But like, you know those people

that are like chronically,

800

like pointing out the Yeah.

801

Like that will drag you down and that's

where you start veering into this place

802

where you're like, I'm just too much.

803

I, you know, like I'm just, I

don't, I'm not here for that.

804

I'm not here

805

Lana: is a, there is a point though

that we do have to learn how to

806

accept helpful criticism and even

if it's not helpful, like being

807

able to wade through those weeds

808

and being able to like pull out

of that, what will help you.

809

Move forward,

810

right?

811

Because I think we're really bad.

812

Our generation is so bad at like,

oh, they offended me and slicing them

813

Thea: Yes.

814

Lana: I hate that.

815

I hate that because I think we miss

out on so much growth by not being

816

willing, uh, willing to be teachable,

817

right?

818

We're just not teachable by like

these voices that are like, Hey,

819

actually I think that is probably

not what you should have done.

820

And instead of being like, you

know what, evaluating it, not just

821

taking it to heart right away, but

822

evaluate it.

823

And like, because otherwise, if

you're just cutting off friends every

824

time they offend you, guess what?

825

You're not gonna have any friends.

826

Because like there has been a

point in every friendship that

827

you're gonna butt heads sometimes.

828

But if you cannot come back and

like, like reconcile or even

829

just be like, you know what?

830

I think what they said really

hurt, but they were right.

831

Like, goodness, swallow your pride.

832

It's hard, but you're not gonna

have friends if you don't.

833

Audrey: Mm-hmm.

834

That's so,

835

that's so interesting too,

836

because I, okay, so

837

I

838

wanna share

839

this

840

from like a different

perspective a little bit.

841

Um,

842

a

843

few years ago we read that book,

844

um,

845

it was like, how to be un

offend or something like

846

that.

847

And it

848

was really good.

849

And

850

so anyways, I am

851

Kind of a personality?

852

I take all of the criticisms,

853

Thea: Same.

854

Audrey: okay, like if you're Like

855

Thea: my feelers are soft.

856

Audrey: Yeah.

857

But

858

I, I don't, and I don't, know why.

859

And you know, it's super interesting

860

Because like I've had

conversations with people.

861

I'm like, why?

862

If everyone saw this,

863

why didn't they tell me?

864

And everyone's like, Well, no one

knows how to tell you because whatever

865

their explanation

866

is.

867

And I'm

868

Lana: I've had people say that to me too.

869

Thea: know what though?

870

I challenge that too though.

871

I mean, again and.

872

Audrey: So point

873

is that,

874

sorry,

875

sorry.

876

I didn't

877

Lana: Keep going.

878

Keep

879

Audrey: way.

880

Okay.

881

Yeah.

882

The point is like,

883

I

884

am so

885

coachable.

886

I am like, that's,

887

one thing about me is I'm so coachable.

888

So when I have someone

who is like a really good.

889

Coach I am like,

890

Forget about it.

891

Like it's game out

lights out for Everybody

892

When I have somebody who

knows how to speak to my

893

heart, like.

894

when I have somebody who

knows how to speak to me,

895

Like

896

it's lights out.

897

And even the people that like get

it wrong, if you will, like, who

898

like, maybe don't maybe come

899

off, you know, like, um,

two years ago someone

900

Asked me a, a, really challenging

question, and in the moment I was kind of

901

hurt and offended about it.

902

And I was like,

903

son of a gun.

904

But I sat and I thought about,

it and I thought about it and I

905

thought about it and like, two

years later I was like, she's right.

906

And

907

so I try not to get upset at

people, when like something,

908

stings.

909

Um, but,

910

but then there's times where it.

911

sting and, and this is different.

912

I think you have to differentiate.

913

And The

914

only reason I bring this up is 'cause

I think you have to differentiate.

915

There's sometimes people say things and

it stings because you know it's wrong.

916

And

917

for someone like me.

918

I don't

919

want to, like if

920

you

921

tell me, Audrey, you probably should

walk on the right side of the road,

922

instead of the left side of the road,

923

And I keep walking on the

right side of the road.

924

and Something happens, then I'm like.

925

oh, great.

926

This person, like I'm an idiot because

I didn't listen to this person.

927

But sometimes I know.

928

I should be walking on

the right side of the

929

road and they're telling

me to walk on the left

930

Side of the,

931

road.

932

and so there's this like inner,

933

conflict and maybe it's just

discernment and like testing the spirit

934

and taking aback and praying about

things to make the right decisions.

935

Um,

936

because

937

Sometimes people will

938

say stuff and it's like

939

I'm, you can't,

940

see my hands, but it's

like, excited, excited.

941

And then they'll say it and it's like,

942

Lana: Yeah.

943

That is so true.

944

That's really good.

945

And that reminds me of

job too, like what you're

946

Audrey: yeah.

947

Yes,

948

Lana: him such bad advice, they meant

well, but they were giving him bad advice.

949

So

950

you, You're right.

951

you have to use discernment.

952

You have to know yourself

to a point too of like.

953

Thea: Yeah, but that comes

back to the confidence too.

954

Like we

955

Audrey: Come on.

956

Thea: because I have been,

because I'm I'm with you.

957

There was a point where I was sure of

myself, like, and not to a dangerous,

958

egotistical place, but I was sure

of myself and I went through a very

959

long season of erosion where I then

assume that I, it's always my fault.

960

I'm always wrong.

961

People don't wanna be around me like.

962

You like, I'm too much like all of those

things, like it just chipped away to me.

963

Like, and this is when I talk

about the whole 360 degree thing,

964

because Ra, you and I have had

this like confidence conversation.

965

It's not confidence, like

what we think about as like.

966

Be confident, believe in

967

Audrey: Right.

968

Thea: it's a deeper thing

969

and we have to cultivate that

piece of like, maybe it's even

970

less confidence and more like

self-trust and like self knowing.

971

But I think, um, you cultivate

that in yourself and then you also

972

cultivate that through having friends.

973

So you can like, again, cut

your heart open and be like,

974

okay, this is a black spot.

975

What, what do you think

about this black spot?

976

Because, you know, that sort of thing.

977

Because I, I don't want

to become hardened.

978

But I want to become hardened because

I'm so tired of getting my feelings

979

hurt and I'm so tired of, I always

default to, oh, IM messed up, does

980

something wrong, or I, I always default

towards, or I have, I'm not doing that.

981

Like I didn't, and then I did,

and it's like, I need to find that

982

place in the middle again, that

coachable place where it's like, okay.

983

I should be walking on

the left side of the road.

984

And I can see that.

985

And I think that also comes up

again from like what I did this

986

past year where I was like, okay,

we're gonna sit down and observe.

987

Like you are going to

be an active observer.

988

And I think you have to be an active

observer of yourself and your situations.

989

And um, like I think that you kind

of said this in a different way.

990

Audrey is like, um, you hear it and then

like, you're like, Ooh, that stings.

991

But like, you don't like make

the decision right there.

992

Audrey: I don't ever,

993

Thea: Like, and that's the whole,

that, that's the hard thing.

994

And like, it's also true that like

people can say things that are right,

995

that the way they said them were crap.

996

You

997

Audrey: This is true.

998

Thea: And it's hard to like, and I

mean that's like, everything is so

999

much more complicated, you know?

00:32:20,625 --> 00:32:21,855

Like it doesn't fit in a meme.

00:32:21,885 --> 00:32:23,715

We love memes and we love to share memes.

00:32:23,925 --> 00:32:27,975

And I think as a person who likes

like context and to like get deeper

00:32:27,975 --> 00:32:30,495

into things, like that's where I

get, like I get tripped up about

00:32:30,495 --> 00:32:33,405

things and then I end up starting

disclaiming to a point where I like.

00:32:33,455 --> 00:32:35,945

Give away all of my quote

unquote power, if you will.

00:32:36,365 --> 00:32:41,735

Um, but like again, you said

something really crappy to me and

00:32:41,735 --> 00:32:43,925

you were right and it was crappy.

00:32:44,129 --> 00:32:44,639

Audrey: Right.

00:32:44,764 --> 00:32:45,245

Thea: know,

00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,960

Audrey: Well this is, this is where I,

at some point, I can't remember if it was

00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,610

this conversation or last conversation,

00:32:50,879 --> 00:32:54,480

but you know, in, okay.

00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:55,350

I'm gonna get on a

00:32:55,350 --> 00:32:56,070

soapbox.

00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:56,700

Um,

00:32:56,794 --> 00:32:57,274

Thea: Lemme hold it up.

00:32:57,274 --> 00:32:57,605

Hold on.

00:32:58,050 --> 00:32:58,379

Audrey: okay.

00:32:58,725 --> 00:32:58,995

Lana: okay.

00:32:58,995 --> 00:33:00,585

Before you jump into that, the,

00:33:01,409 --> 00:33:01,699

Thea: Wait,

00:33:02,175 --> 00:33:04,365

Lana: the word that if you, if you, yeah.

00:33:04,365 --> 00:33:05,505

Don't, don't take it yet.

00:33:05,715 --> 00:33:09,555

If the word, the word that just

keeps coming to mind is humility.

00:33:09,555 --> 00:33:10,485

When you guys are talking about that.

00:33:10,485 --> 00:33:10,695

'cause

00:33:10,695 --> 00:33:12,130

like really that humility is like.

00:33:13,185 --> 00:33:17,100

PP possessing like an

accurate view of oneself.

00:33:17,100 --> 00:33:17,520

Right.

00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,020

It it's not shaming.

00:33:19,260 --> 00:33:19,560

Yeah.

00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,710

It's not shaming yourself, but it's

like knowing both your strengths

00:33:22,740 --> 00:33:25,889

and your weaknesses and not

like shaming yourself into that.

00:33:25,889 --> 00:33:26,159

Right.

00:33:26,340 --> 00:33:27,300

And that's like,

00:33:27,930 --> 00:33:30,360

that's where I just lean into

what you're saying is like, you

00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,790

gotta be humble in, in doing this.

00:33:32,795 --> 00:33:34,080

And that does not mean shame.

00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,200

That means just like being

confident in yourself

00:33:37,215 --> 00:33:40,425

Thea: it's so easy to fall, and I

think this is true for high achievers.

00:33:40,545 --> 00:33:45,435

It's so easy to fall out of, like

off of humble, right Into like

00:33:45,435 --> 00:33:47,775

self-deprecation and self-flagellation.

00:33:47,970 --> 00:33:48,330

Audrey: So

00:33:48,645 --> 00:33:48,945

Lana: okay.

00:33:48,945 --> 00:33:49,905

Audrey, where's the box?

00:33:49,995 --> 00:33:50,265

Thea: Yeah.

00:33:50,295 --> 00:33:50,505

Yep.

00:33:50,535 --> 00:33:50,745

Okay.

00:33:50,745 --> 00:33:51,615

Step right

00:33:51,645 --> 00:33:51,885

Lana: there.

00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:52,139

Audrey: up.

00:33:52,145 --> 00:33:52,385

Okay.

00:33:53,245 --> 00:33:54,145

Let me do this.

00:33:55,585 --> 00:33:56,215

Did that work?

00:33:56,475 --> 00:33:57,764

Thea: We're gonna start making our own.

00:33:57,764 --> 00:33:58,185

I know.

00:33:58,215 --> 00:33:59,235

Like I'm here for it.

00:33:59,235 --> 00:34:01,125

Like we don't need a production team.

00:34:01,675 --> 00:34:01,765

Audrey: Who

00:34:02,055 --> 00:34:02,715

Lana: We got this.

00:34:02,715 --> 00:34:02,985

We got

00:34:02,995 --> 00:34:05,035

Audrey: We just need a shot of espresso.

00:34:05,395 --> 00:34:05,815

Okay.

00:34:05,895 --> 00:34:06,675

Lana: a xylophone.

00:34:06,675 --> 00:34:07,215

That will help.

00:34:07,725 --> 00:34:08,565

Thea: Oh yes.

00:34:08,715 --> 00:34:09,465

Here we go.

00:34:09,675 --> 00:34:11,175

It's gonna be like old school radio show.

00:34:11,175 --> 00:34:11,895

Ding, ding, ding.

00:34:12,804 --> 00:34:16,675

Audrey: one of, um, one of my goals is.

00:34:18,135 --> 00:34:18,764

I wanna be.

00:34:18,764 --> 00:34:19,875

a good friend to other people.

00:34:20,145 --> 00:34:20,745

And

00:34:21,284 --> 00:34:22,995

You know, by the grace of God,

00:34:23,114 --> 00:34:23,505

I

00:34:23,534 --> 00:34:25,185

have one thing

00:34:25,185 --> 00:34:26,054

that he really has,

00:34:26,054 --> 00:34:26,775

in, like,

00:34:26,864 --> 00:34:27,255

one

00:34:27,255 --> 00:34:31,844

thing that's inside of me is I do get

a little offended, but not to the point

00:34:31,844 --> 00:34:33,465

where I'm going to ruin a relationship.

00:34:33,465 --> 00:34:37,965

Like someone can push me really far and

I still want relationship with them.

00:34:38,054 --> 00:34:39,675

Like I, I don't know

00:34:39,705 --> 00:34:39,975

what

00:34:39,975 --> 00:34:40,395

this is

00:34:40,395 --> 00:34:40,965

inside of me.

00:34:41,205 --> 00:34:43,455

Sometimes it's bad because I don't,

00:34:43,995 --> 00:34:44,145

I

00:34:44,145 --> 00:34:45,885

don't recognize where someone.

00:34:45,885 --> 00:34:46,635

shouldn't have.

00:34:47,219 --> 00:34:48,208

Certain Access.

00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:48,600

Yeah.

00:34:48,750 --> 00:34:50,639

And This is something I'm

really having to grow in.

00:34:50,639 --> 00:34:52,319

And that's even, that's

like really hard to say.

00:34:52,319 --> 00:34:53,458

but like, I can note, like

00:34:53,458 --> 00:34:55,139

there's some people I get

off the phone with, them.

00:34:55,710 --> 00:34:56,310

and I'm like,

00:34:56,909 --> 00:34:57,480

it's just

00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:58,620

rocky soil.

00:34:58,649 --> 00:34:59,759

Like, so I, you

00:34:59,759 --> 00:35:02,339

know, I can speak in and I can

say whatever, and then like

00:35:02,339 --> 00:35:03,330

but it's just rocky soil.

00:35:03,330 --> 00:35:04,529

And then there's other people and

00:35:04,529 --> 00:35:06,629

I speak into them and it's like good soil.

00:35:06,899 --> 00:35:08,879

And, um, I'm really,

00:35:09,149 --> 00:35:09,299

you

00:35:09,299 --> 00:35:10,049

know, I'm really

00:35:11,009 --> 00:35:11,819

something

00:35:11,910 --> 00:35:14,490

that happened a few years

ago made me really sensitive.

00:35:14,879 --> 00:35:16,169

about like what

00:35:16,169 --> 00:35:18,149

I say to people and how I say it to

00:35:18,149 --> 00:35:18,629

people.

00:35:18,930 --> 00:35:20,339

Um, and

00:35:20,339 --> 00:35:21,750

so I got overly

00:35:21,750 --> 00:35:22,770

sensitive and kind of

00:35:22,770 --> 00:35:23,970

quit speaking the truth.

00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:24,509

because.

00:35:25,630 --> 00:35:26,020

Some

00:35:26,020 --> 00:35:27,160

people were getting super

00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:27,640

offended,

00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:29,620

but as

00:35:29,620 --> 00:35:30,910

I've like grown kind of past

00:35:30,910 --> 00:35:31,720

that, one

00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:32,259

thing that

00:35:32,470 --> 00:35:35,650

I have noticed is my friends

will come to me for the truth

00:35:35,950 --> 00:35:37,509

because he know,

00:35:37,540 --> 00:35:41,020

Like they know that Audrey

will tell them the truth.

00:35:41,170 --> 00:35:43,450

and she will do it in love and

00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:44,170

It will

00:35:44,650 --> 00:35:45,580

land.

00:35:46,319 --> 00:35:49,049

their heart, whether they're rocky soil or

00:35:49,140 --> 00:35:49,350

good

00:35:49,350 --> 00:35:50,609

soil regardless.

00:35:50,609 --> 00:35:52,830

It's like both types of friends, Um,

00:35:53,009 --> 00:35:53,279

they

00:35:53,279 --> 00:35:54,839

know that it will land.

00:35:54,930 --> 00:35:56,430

and Whatever happens, like, you know.

00:35:56,430 --> 00:35:59,009

then it's not my, it's it's been planted.

00:35:59,460 --> 00:36:02,400

Thea: Can I tell you that that

is my favorite thing in a friend?

00:36:02,550 --> 00:36:04,860

Like, just as you said that I've,

I've, I've had other conversation.

00:36:05,190 --> 00:36:10,770

My favorite thing in a friend or any

relationship because I'm, because

00:36:10,770 --> 00:36:15,510

I am so sensitive, I'm like, I know

that you will tell me the truth.

00:36:15,550 --> 00:36:18,400

Like, I know that you will not BS me.

00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:23,200

I know that you won't like, and like

that just makes me like relax so much

00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,300

because like I am a hypervigilant person.

00:36:25,300 --> 00:36:25,660

Like that's

00:36:25,695 --> 00:36:26,325

Audrey: Me too.

00:36:26,385 --> 00:36:26,955

Me too.

00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:30,100

Thea: hyper-vigilant and

I'm always looking for like,

00:36:30,340 --> 00:36:31,300

where's the double meaning?

00:36:31,300 --> 00:36:32,920

Because that's my life experience, right?

00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:36,850

I've been hurt enough to be like, okay,

you need to protect yourself and whatever

00:36:36,850 --> 00:36:39,880

conversation you're having, like even

with people that you quote unquote

00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,890

trust, like that hyper vigilance, like.

00:36:42,145 --> 00:36:42,835

It's clicked on.

00:36:42,835 --> 00:36:45,055

It's like the little, you know,

little, the little needle's, like,

00:36:45,690 --> 00:36:46,320

Audrey: Yes.

00:36:46,435 --> 00:36:49,735

Thea: and so when I have, and I have

a handful of friends where I'm like, I

00:36:49,735 --> 00:36:50,910

know when I talk to them about things.

00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,420

That they will be like, I

know they'll be like, yeah,

00:36:54,420 --> 00:36:55,770

you're wrong, or No you're not.

00:36:55,830 --> 00:36:58,259

And it's the same thing, like if

it's you're wrong, like it comes

00:36:58,259 --> 00:37:02,250

at that vibe of like, I'm still

cheering and I'm giving you a warning.

00:37:02,580 --> 00:37:04,590

And so I love that like

when you said that.

00:37:04,590 --> 00:37:09,630

Like they know Audrey will give them

the truth like I do my, and I think too,

00:37:09,660 --> 00:37:13,980

like I do that too and I've actually,

like, some people are not like, that's

00:37:13,980 --> 00:37:15,029

not what they want in a friendship.

00:37:15,274 --> 00:37:15,495

Lana: Hmm.

00:37:15,835 --> 00:37:18,955

Thea: They don't want you to be

like, the emperor has no clothes.

00:37:19,134 --> 00:37:21,100

Like they do not want that.

00:37:21,570 --> 00:37:26,010

Audrey: we have to, I think that,

I'm gonna, where I'm going with

00:37:26,010 --> 00:37:29,280

this is I'm gonna challenge everyone

to be a better friend, basically.

00:37:29,430 --> 00:37:34,620

so so like, because here's the

thing is I, I do have friends that.

00:37:36,090 --> 00:37:36,630

Will Say

00:37:36,630 --> 00:37:37,260

the truth.

00:37:37,650 --> 00:37:41,730

and the way that they say the truth

makes it really hard to receive.

00:37:41,850 --> 00:37:46,050

And I It's yes, and then it

feels prickly and it doesn't

00:37:46,230 --> 00:37:48,120

Because here's the piece, like, if I'm

00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:49,950

coming to you in my

00:37:50,580 --> 00:37:54,884

vulnerability, um I

00:37:54,884 --> 00:37:56,774

need, I need to know I'm safe.

00:37:56,835 --> 00:37:57,855

And there, there

00:37:57,855 --> 00:37:59,415

are, you know, there are some people where

00:37:59,415 --> 00:37:59,504

I'm

00:37:59,504 --> 00:38:01,125

not safe to share because,

00:38:01,185 --> 00:38:01,995

because,

00:38:02,145 --> 00:38:02,685

not because they're

00:38:02,685 --> 00:38:04,335

not safe people, but because,

00:38:04,395 --> 00:38:05,024

um,

00:38:05,955 --> 00:38:06,285

they

00:38:06,285 --> 00:38:09,734

will view things and operate

out of their lens of.

00:38:09,975 --> 00:38:11,535

Hurt, trauma, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:38:12,165 --> 00:38:13,935

And so I think that this is

where I'm gonna challenge

00:38:13,935 --> 00:38:15,375

people to be a better friend is like,

00:38:16,245 --> 00:38:16,455

are,

00:38:16,635 --> 00:38:19,065

when I respond to you, am I operating

00:38:19,065 --> 00:38:20,205

from some of my hurt?

00:38:20,205 --> 00:38:20,355

and

00:38:20,355 --> 00:38:21,315

and I will say like, I,

00:38:21,315 --> 00:38:22,755

will point blank say this to people.

00:38:22,995 --> 00:38:23,145

I

00:38:23,145 --> 00:38:24,495

don't know if I'm operating,

00:38:24,495 --> 00:38:25,125

from my hurt.

00:38:25,155 --> 00:38:27,255

'cause I know I have

this kind of a trigger.

00:38:27,885 --> 00:38:29,415

but it feels like this.

00:38:29,445 --> 00:38:30,615

But take it like, you know,

00:38:30,615 --> 00:38:31,785

test the spirit because,

00:38:32,325 --> 00:38:32,805

and

00:38:32,805 --> 00:38:33,345

so I,

00:38:33,465 --> 00:38:33,705

I

00:38:33,705 --> 00:38:33,855

do

00:38:33,855 --> 00:38:35,385

disclaim in those situations because

00:38:35,385 --> 00:38:36,285

sometimes I know, and

00:38:36,585 --> 00:38:38,205

Thea: I don't think that's

disclaiming, I think that's like,

00:38:38,595 --> 00:38:39,885

it's like setting this tone, like

00:38:40,050 --> 00:38:41,430

Lana: training your friends.

00:38:41,430 --> 00:38:41,760

Yeah.

00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,670

I like, there's a, there's a point

where we do have to kind of like.

00:38:45,675 --> 00:38:48,855

Uh, it's, it's unfair to our

friends to say stuff to them

00:38:49,310 --> 00:38:49,850

Audrey: Yes, it is.

00:38:50,235 --> 00:38:52,845

Lana: them to respond the

way that we want them to

00:38:52,845 --> 00:38:54,105

respond Without,

00:38:54,105 --> 00:38:55,995

us, like training them to do so.

00:38:56,025 --> 00:38:56,235

Okay.

00:38:56,235 --> 00:39:00,015

So like, if you need some encouragement

and you're coming to a friend

00:39:00,015 --> 00:39:01,245

for an encouragement, start that.

00:39:01,305 --> 00:39:01,615

Start at.

00:39:01,860 --> 00:39:02,150

Audrey: yeah.

00:39:02,380 --> 00:39:02,670

Yeah.

00:39:03,130 --> 00:39:03,550

That's

00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:05,740

Lana: I need you to encourage me in

00:39:05,860 --> 00:39:06,210

Audrey: Right?

00:39:06,315 --> 00:39:06,765

Thea: Right,