Boundaries 101: Gearing up for the Holidays with Expert Jassy Jackson

In this episode, I had the enlightening opportunity to delve deep into the significance of setting boundaries, especially as the holidays approach, with the insightful Jassy Jackson. We discussed the transformative power of understanding our boundaries, the importance of preparation for the holidays, and how Jassy's incredible resources can aid in this journey. Whether it's through her recordings, worksheets, or the digital journal, Jassy offers invaluable tools to navigate the challenges life throws at us.

In this episode we get curious about:

• The power of understanding and setting boundaries.
• Preparing mentally and emotionally for the holidays.
• Accessing Jassy's valuable recordings on boundaries.
• Benefits of Jassy's digital journal and worksheets.
• Jassy's online presence: Instagram, Facebook, website, and YouTube.
• Introduction to "Sacred Arts" YouTube channel and "Beyond Meditation" podcast.

Learn more about Jassy Jackson.

Bio: Jassy Jackson empowers individuals to realign with who they truly are by leveraging her Masters in Organizational Psychology, her extensive experience as an executive leader and her years as a reiki practitioner. Her teachings are based on a holistic approach that brings together a healthy mix of shamanic ceremonies alongside traditional psychology, allowing her to cater to each individual’s needs while creating a safe space for transformation, healing and creation of new pathways in the human experience.

Offering:

Website: www.crysta-luna.com

Podcast: ‎Sacred Arts on Apple Podcasts & ‎Beyond Meditation Podcast on Apple Podcasts

IG: Instagram (@crystalunavortex)

Book Recommendation: The Time of The Black Jaguar by Arkan Lushwala

Links to Laurin's Appearances on Jassy's podcasts:

‎Sacred Arts: Tuning Into Earth's New Frequency: Beyond the Matrix with Laurin Wittig on Apple Podcasts

‎Beyond Meditation Podcast: Your Body is trying to Talk to you! Are you getting the message? with Laurin Wittig on Apple Podcasts

Learn more about Laurin Wittig...

Bio: Laurin Wittig is an intuitive healer, spirituality mentor, founder of HeartLight Wellness and the Heartlight Wise Women Circles, host of the Curiously Wise: Practical Spirituality in Action podcast, channel of The Circle of Light, and an award-winning author. Laurin is also a co-facilitator of the Triple Goddess Women’s Circle.

Laurin’s own journey from bad health to great health on a non-traditional path awakened many of her own healing gifts, and illuminated a passion to assist others to travel their paths in this lifetime with less pain, and deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them, bringing them to a place of greater ease, and joy. 

Heartlight Wellness: Healing the light within you!

Laurin on FB: https://www.facebook.com/laurin.wittig.3/

Heartlight Joy FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/HeartLightJoy

IG: https://www.instagram.com/heartlightjoy/

Sign up for Laurin's newsletter and get her gift to you: Laurin's Top Three Ways to Communicate with Your Spirit Guides (PDF download)Credits

Credits:

Audio Engineer: Sam Wittig

Music: Where the Light Is by Lemon Music Studio

Photography & Design: Asha McLaughlin/Tej Art

Copyright 2024 Laurin Wittig

Interview Episode with Jassy Jackson

Laurin: Hello friends. And welcome back to curiously wise. I'm Laurin Wittig, your host. And today I have this amazing woman. I know I say that every time I have amazing women here that I have. Known for a little bit now. I've been interviewed by her twice. So this is my turn to turn the tables on her And ask her a bunch of great questions. Her name is Jesse Jackson and she empowers individuals to realign with who they truly are by leveraging her masters in organizational psychology, which. You're going to have to [00:01:00] explain that one to me Her extensive experience as an executive and her years as a Reiki practitioner. Her teachings are based on a holistic approach that brings together a healthy mix of shamanic ceremonies alongside traditional psychology, allowing her to cater to each individual's needs while creating a safe space for transformation.

Healing and creation of new pathways in the human experience. Learn more about her work at www. krista luna. com. And I'll have that in the show notes for you. Welcome, Jassy. I'm excited.

Jassy: Thank you. I'm so excited to

I know I agree completely with you, but before we start you tell me what organizational psychology is? Okay.

Jassy: Yeah, absolutely. So I knew really early on that I wanted to help people in one way, shape or another. And I always had this curiosity around. Why do people make decisions? Why do we behave the way that we behave? And so naturally I took to psychology. I spent some time on suicide help lines trauma units and things like that.

And I quickly discovered that I didn't want to necessarily do the clinical side of psychology, which is what. everybody always thinks about when, when you think of psychologists, right? Do you a therapist or someone that helps people in dire trauma? And so, as I would just as I was discovering my path, I really thrived in the corporate environment.

And so for me, it was really industrial And organizational which really is all around the human factors and the, of what works psychology is. And so I made that my concentration and my focus in school, and it has really helped me in guiding people. Yeah. You know, through different career paths and guiding people from nine to fives to owning their business or, you know, really finding their calling.

Aspect of, of the work that you do, because you, like me are a shamanic practitioner, which is my favorite modality. But you do a lot of well. So let's, let's bring those things together now through you and talk about boundaries. So that's one of those words that I use. And I kind of, you know, intuitively know what that means, but not everybody does.

So can you just define what you in this context by boundaries?

Jassy: Yeah.

Just not really knowing what my needs were or even like, how do I, how do I voice what I need without a confrontation or some sort of aggressive interaction? Right? And so I really dove deep into this and looked for experts and looked for people that were kind of cultivating that space for people to be able to set boundaries.

Laurin: Okay. That's good. That's, that's, that's how do I want to put this? That sounds like a good way to describe what I feel about boundaries.

Jassy: Yes. When someone voiced it in that way to me, I was it is I'm caring for myself. I'm putting the attention back. inward because a lot of the times when we think about boundaries, we're thinking about the other person, like, how are they going to react? How am I going to be able to smooth it over?

How am I going to, you know, the people pleaser in us really comesout in like trying to manipulate or trying to behave in a certain wayas to not to cause any waves or ripples. But reallywhen you turn that attention back in words. And you show up in your authenticity

And you show up in kindness and compassion because that was the other thing about boundaries. I thought that boundaries was about being rude or putting up a wall energetically, or just standing my ground and being aggressive about it. And when I really dove into it and started experimenting around this and really looking.diving deep. It's about compassion for the self,compassion for others, showing up in kindness, and being able to communicate it in a way that makes space for taking care of yourself.

And when you do that, there's some alchemy,something that happens when we're talking soul to soul, that the other person starts to react. In a different way, because you're showing up in a different way, in a more authentic way, instead of that people pleasing, trying to kind ofget around whatever aggressive interaction may have

And my dad was an alcoholic, So, he always drank too much. And, you know, so I learned very early on that if I wanted to protect myself, I needed to not boat in any way. boundary, but it wasn't an inward boundary. It was a, I need to protect the chaos. That's around here. And actually, I think I was pretty wise as a kid.

Maybe just looking back on myself, really, and, and my kids too, we're pretty good with when they needed, we're all introverts in this household, when they needed some alone time, good about saying, I'm, I'm just going to go to my room for a while and we go, fine. Have fun.

Jassy: Mm hmm.

Laurin: Yeah. So, so yeah, the, the people pleasing thing for me around, particularly around holidays was always an issue.

I don't have something just fell off my wall. Hold on.

Jassy: Saw.

Laurin: my Aurora Borealis that a friend of mine gave me. Huh. Wonder that's. I know It's not pretty.

And then decide what the consequences are going to be when it comes to people. Going outside of our boundaries or overstepping our boundaries, right? we can choose to voice them. That's absolutely the first thing to do. And then we can also choose to leave have other choices, right?

And so That's kind of what I teach these days in my boundaries course is having all these choices And also being able to hold our center and be disconnect from other people's.

Laurin: So, how, okay, so let's get practical here. So how could someone create some boundaries? Say there is a bit of an aggressiveness that can happen at family gatherings how, how could somebody do that? What, what you recommend that they sort of practice beforehand?

Right? And it was right there and then to give in. And so when somebody is aggressive, that is kind of the worst thing that you can do is to give in, because what you're teaching that person is that aggression works.

Aggression works. So there, there are three things that we can do. We might be aggressive, we might back, we might be passive aggressive, back, right?

Kind of do the sarcasm or the self deprecation type of song and dance to kind of smooth it over and kind of make, make light of it. And then, or we can be assertive. first thing that I like to teach people is, ask for just a second to gather yourself. When, when you're faced with aggression or something that you know you're going to go into people pleasing mode, just ask, like, give me just a second to think.

Articulate it a little bit better and so let's say somebody is. Just asking me a really invasive question aggressively. Like that's something that happens in my family a lot. You know, they're just like really nosy, really like in my business, because that's just how culturally we And so I just take a minute and I just say, hold on, just let me listen for a second, or let me think for a and how I want to answer this question.

And it's like, what I need right now is a little bit of space. You know, or a little, you know, this isn't really for them to know and it's, like then I'm able to answer like, thank you so much for asking that question. You know, it's not something that I'm ready to talk about right now.

You know, when, when the time comes, I'll be able to, to say a little bit more about it. If it's like my dad or something like that, that's maybe drunk and just like belligerent. you know, just Christmas he was telling me how to behave or how to do something. And I just him for a second and was like, you know, what, I'm 40 years old. I don't need somebody telling me what to do.

So there's this. alchemy that, happens when you are being true to yourself and not trying to figure out what that person needs. And when you're voicing your, your, your needs that allows the other person like time and space to kind of

Laurin: Yeah, it's, it sounds like you almost make a, a moment for both of

you to take a breath, you know, and I've, I've found only in the last year so with my husband, we'll have conversations and and we, we do not argue. We sometimes get a little snippy with each other, but we've never had an argue.

If so, want to respond to this? And how can I do it in such a way that I'm heard, but it doesn't escalate anything. It doesn't, you know, it doesn't hurt somebody's feelings. It doesn't step on somebody's toes. I can just say what I need to say in a calm and measured way, because I've taken that moment to go, wait a minute.

I don't need to react like that. And to me, that's been very empowering and I'm, it's kind of fun because it's like I step out of myself and watch, you know, it's like, yeah, you did that, right? Okay. That's good. That's better. Yep. That's a better way to respond.

A spiritual teacher of mine would call it that way. It's like, Oh yeah, it's like you love yourself so much.

You know who you are so much. That whatever's happening outside of you just doesn't matteranymore. You're filled up with your own essence, with your own validation, with your own self respect that it doesn't, you don't have to get other people to see you in that light because you already have, that for yourself.

And then the second thing that comes to mind is most people react in aggression or passive aggressiveness because they feel like there is a need that's not going to get met. So it's, It's a reaction out of fear.

As if you're reading the news as if you're just reporting the news like this is this is what is happening. This is why this is. You know, this is. what I need and so when youdo that, you do tend to get hurt because it's not charged with

It's like, it's never quite done, it. That I, I really, Yeah. it's interesting. Cause I'm very proud of myself for finally after a long life already getting to the point where I could go, wait a minute. I don't want to respond that way. Why am I responding? Why, why is that my inclination?

Cause it's always a very defensive, like they're not, I'm not going to be heard. They're not going to hear my side of it. You know, that kind of thing, which is not true of people in my life. But it was a childhood pattern that I learned and It's it's really empowering when you get to that point where you go, do I even need to respond?

If I do, I love that journalistic method that that's the perfect way to just, let me just the facts,

Jassy: Exactly.

It's too hard to look inward. It's too hard to work on the shadow, right? And so congratulations on, you know, doing this process all on your own and like figuring out You know, how to be introspective and

how to get to a place where you are setting boundaries in a

Laurin: I can't say it's all on my own. I've had so many healers and teachers and guides and along the way.

It's been, it's taken a village, including one of my mom's sisters. She's been one of my, my, my earth angels. So Yeah. So it's a. It's been a long, it's been a long journey, but it's, It feels good to be where I am to have figured out myself.

Jassy: Yeah. It's so funny you say that because, you know, I'm teaching this band. 10 week boundaries class. And, you know, I had about 20 something people show up or sign up and only about half showed up. Some are doing the recording, But it's really interesting to see, like, people say, yes, I need this, but aren't ready to do the work. and then when we get into the nitty gritty of like self love and self worth, more people drop off. So it's really interesting to see where people are at and how willing, how willingly they are to go deeper and deeper into healing those parts of themselves.

Jassy: Oh, yeah. yeah, Me, myself included. I was just looking at the, the other day of all the things I've signed up for. I'm like, Oh, I didn't complete like half of these. Yeah.

Laurin: I've actually put myself sort of on a moratorium for, for taking more things. I just finished up today or yesterday, I guess, Amazing program called ready to be seen. That was, you know, I, I love this woman who runs it. But I've kind of gotten to the point what I've got now, play with it for a while, see where the chinks are and let the universe bring me whatever I'm next.

So

Laurin: sometimes it's hard because you go, Oh, that's cool. Or that would be really useful or helpful. But yeah, no, I think I've got to, I've got to really be. Diligent about not signing up for things I love to learn. So I'm always like, Ooh, that sounds like a cool thing to add to my toolkit. But no, I, I think I've hit saturation at this So, so when you're working with somebody and you've got obviously this course about boundaries, which is, we'll have to put some information When you're working with people, how do you bring the, I mean, we've talked about some practical things, but how do you bring the healing work into that?

Because I'm, that's one thing I'm always really interested in is, how do I bring the healing work into other healing?

It's 10 weeks. I can teach this in two weeks, but it's 10 weeks because it takes time. And processes for us to make a true change within ourselves. And so what I'm, I'm walking you through the entire 10 weeks is this alchemy within the course itself. The words that I use, the stories that I bring, the intentions that are read during the meditation [00:26:00] allows for that inner healing and for you to intake, right?

I, you know, I bring in guides. You know, I don't say it. I don't verbalize it, but that is part of the intention is to bring everybody's guides in that are for their highest and best and to through. this work that The other thing that I do is also I offer, included in the package of, of coming into the program, you get one coaching session.

So it really is tailored to each person for that one coaching call. And then I also offer office hours. So you come and you do your home play. Because they also offer digital boundaries journal where it allows you to kind of review some of what we went also has some really powerful journaling going in So you're doing the shadow you're asking questions, you're with me And also have the opportunity to go deeper into

Laurin: Okay. Yeah. So that, that holistic approach. Yeah.

Yeah. That's, that's what I really like yeah, I find I do that more and more now cause I, I mentor and do, I do healing and mentoring sort of in the same session.

And it's like seeing them for where they're at in their developmental process, and then meeting them there. Right. And so I, I, it's hard to be the, you know, show up and just say, like, we're just going to talk today or we're just going to do the healing portion of this today.

Laurin: Yeah. It's, that's, that's what I find with my clients is it's, they'll come in saying, this is what I need today, but we'll sit and we'll talk for a little bit and we'll figure out, Oh, what you need is this today. Okay. Okay.

And some of them were like, I just told you can't we just, no, no, no, sit down, let's have a little chat, let's see what the real thing is.

Jassy: yeah,

Jassy: Hmm. A little of that.

Laurin: all right, just looking back at your bio here for a second. All right. I think, is there anything else you wanna share with us about or, or, or especially around, especially around,

Jassy: event of the year. To set our boundaries and I just want to talk through a little bit of why that is like, there have been so much expectations kids. Right? We've heard what those expectations are. seen it. We've experienced it. And if we're in a tumultuous.

Feeling out how we're going to manipulate the situation and what boundaries allows us to do is to let go of the manipulation, let go of the judgment. It let's go of the expectation and it allows us to unlearn what others expectations have been and it allows us to go inward and really learn about ourselves and what we want the holidays to look like.

Because I was so in my judgment of others, of myself, of the expectation.

And I'm not saying that I don't get triggered. I'm not those things don't continue to happen, but I am able to take a breath to center and be like, no, this is this is actually what I want, or this is actually what I need. And if, if my needs aren't being met, then I have choices to make.

I can go and sit somewhere else at the table. I can go and interact with somebody else and not let whatever's happening over here affect me. or I can leave right after I voiced my needs and if they're not being met. So there's so many choices and I think we're all stuck in this. I, at least I was, I was stuck in the story like this is the way it is and how it has to be because these are the expectations and when you learn that there are so many other different types of choices there is true freedom in

Now, they may not react well to the hedge, they may decide to try to poke you, but you are, you are impacting them. [00:34:00] And that, to me, is a

Jassy: All it, it is, it really is. All it takes is one adult to be fully regulated and grounded. and it ripples out. I've seen it in, in Waldorf schools, right? The teacher rings a bell. There's, there were like 20 little kids, like, kindergartners, right? Five year olds in playtime. The teacher rang the bell and whispered a song.

Laurin: Yeah. Yeah. Just holding that space. It, cause it disrupts the, the jaggedness, you know, so

it's really, I find it fascinating to kind of watch. if I walk into a new space and I'm doing it, if I'm doing it on purpose, you know, it's, and, and just kind of watch and see how people are around me.

Cause I love to people watch. And and you can, you can see that it has an effect on people things that the noise in the room might get a little quieter or people might be more relaxed. They may settle other instead of, you know, face to face like this or something.

And it's, it's really fascinating get that. Sort of validation that you can help calm things, not in a, not in a, I'm going in there to things way, but just by the space for yourself.

Laurin: Yeah. That's too aggressive. I'm pushing. I want you, I'm trying to change you versus I'm

Jassy: Yeah, exactly.

Laurin: and look at the lovely ripples that do go out. And I experienced that with my mom towards the end of her life, where I finally was able to figure of her And forgive myself. And she didn't, I mean, she was beyond changing, she had dementia and cancer and, you know, she was at the, at the very end of her life.

And I saw such a softness come over her once I stopped being so defensive. Yeah.

Jassy: Well, yeah, because there's no longer any expectations, right? And so kind of They're kind of disarmed. It's really interesting because I always tell clients that the, key is to fill yourself up with so much of your own energy. there's no room for anybody else's because what happens when you enter a room, you're immediately that energy.

You're just there right and what happens is like people start to be quiet and there's this attention that comes and Then you're able to like take a breath and start start speaking I didn't know what they were actually doing, but I would try and it's like wow This is incredible. And then later on in my spirituality is like, oh they were grounding the space and everybody matching that energy, which is really interesting

That I love to learn the language around it so that, I can then, you know, be a little more specific with people about things. all right. So I'm going to ask you for a book recommendation. What do you, what, what is your must read book of The moment?

Jassy: Yeah, so the one that just came to mind, let me look up the author, it's called The Time of the Jaguar, and it was it was written Arkan Lushwala and it is such an incredible book.

Laurin: I have not heard of that one. So. Thank you. I'm, I'm actually putting together a list for all my 2023 guests, a reading list that, you know, all the books that have been recommended. So I'll be sending that out to my, my mailing list and posting it in places towards. The end of probably in January and so that that will go on my list for sure. And I'll have to check that out. So many books I want to read.

Jassy: I love.I hear you.

This preparation for the holidays, but it's also just great in your day to day life. it can make a huge difference. So. I want to thank Jesse, obviously, and okay, I got the wrong one there. This is why I love being able to edit.

Laurin: Yeah. Well, and, and if they have access to the recordings afterwards, it might be handy to have it if you're traveling at Christmas time or Thanksgiving go, this is the session I need to hear about. Let me get a little refresher here.

Jassy: Exactly. And there's, yes, and there's a ton of worksheets as well that just gives you the definitions. There's also a digital journal, like I mentioned, that allows you to kind of work through it as well. So, a lot of reference points that you can have as a, as reminders.

Laurin: So tell the listeners where they can find you

Jassy: Yes, you can find me on Instagram. My handle is Crystal Luna Vortex. You can also find me on my website, www.Crysta-Luna. com.

Laurin: and you have a that goes along with that too.

Jassy: Yes, we do have to see two season I don't think we're going to third season, but it is still out there. It's called beyond meditation podcast. I have a co host named Anna.

We interviewed some incredible people, including Laurin. You know, when we were starting off on spiritual journey, we just wanted to share with people learning, who we were talking to, and so sharing a lot of

keep asking questions and exploring new ideas. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing and or leaving a review. It helps others find us.

If you're curious to learn more about me and my healing practice Heartlight Wellness, head over to my website at Heartlightjoy.com until next time, I'm Laurin Wittig inviting you to stay curious.

Thank you so much for joining us today on Curiously Wise. I hope this conversation has left you feeling inspired and curious about the world around and within you. After all, curiosity is the key to growth and understanding. So keep asking questions and exploring new ideas. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing and or leaving a review.