In the latest episode of the Happier at Work podcast I am thrilled to be joined by the  incredible Rebecca Muriuki. Rebecca, a former corporate director turned leadership coach and wealth activator for women of color, shares her inspiring journey of leaving the traditional corporate world to pursue her true passion and calling.

In this episode, Rebecca delves into the importance of finding fulfillment in our work and the journey that led her to discover her purpose in empowering others. She shares valuable insights into the challenges faced by women and women of color in the workplace, as well as practical solutions to increase their presence in leadership positions.

Rebecca emphasises the significance of speaking up and challenging others respectfully in the workplace, advocating for intentional conversations with male allies and early mentorship to boost inclusivity in leadership pipelines. Her words of wisdom and actionable advice are inspiring for anyone seeking to make a positive impact in their career.

The main points throughout this podcast include:

• The importance of finding fulfillment in our work and the journey that led her to discover her purpose in empowering others.
• The challenges faced by women and women of color in the workplace.
• Practical solutions to increase their presence in leadership positions.
• The significance of speaking up and challenging others respectfully in the workplace.

Do you have any feedback or thoughts on this discussion? If so, please connect with Aoife via the links below and let her know. Aoife would love to hear from you!

Connect with Rebecca

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Connect with Happier at Work host Aoife O’Brien:

Website

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Previous Episodes:

https://happieratwork.ie/202-leveraging-strengths-and-setting-boundaries-with-lucy-gernon/

https://happieratwork.ie/134-the-slippery-slope-of-achievement-with-ashlie-collins/

https://happieratwork.ie/120-the-journey-to-self-mastery-and-success-with-sharath-jeevan/ 

Mentioned in this episode:

Podcast Live Recording

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Podcast Live Recording

Rebecca, you're so welcome to the Happier at Work podcast. I know we've been talking about this for a while. And in the interim, I've been so hooked on all of your Instagram content. I absolutely love it. Do you want to let people know a little bit about your background, who you are, what you do, and what we're gonna talk about today?

Thank you so much, Aoife, for having me on your podcast. I know we've been having this in the works for a while, and I'm honored to be finally here with your listeners. As, Aoife has mentioned, my name is Rebecca Morioki. I am a leadership coach and wealth activator for women of color. I am also an ex director in the corporate space. I worked in corporate for 12 years, and I recently put up that mantle to go all in on helping other women get to the top, but not just get to the top, find wealth and find freedom in what they do.

Brilliant. I love that. And that's interesting that you say that because I have seen something on Instagram recently, and I was like, what's going on here? Because I know when we first started talking, you were still working in corporate, and you were doing this as kind of a side thing. So I love that you've gone all in. Tell me about that experience and that decision.

Yes. It came so much sooner than I thought. In fact, I was going through I have this manifestation journal on my phone on the notes app. App. And last year in May, I wrote that on the 30th September 2024, I have now left my corporate job. And this actually happened, what, 5 months earlier than I thought. But I think I knew it was time. I knew at some point I was gonna have to make that decision on whether I was gonna go all in on what I truly believed in was my calling or whether I was gonna continue doing both.

And it came to a point where the business had grown. I was I had replaced my corporate income, and I was ready to go all in. And I really knew that my clients were getting great results, but I knew that they could get even better results if I was fully vested in it. And I'm so so glad I did. I don't regret the decision at all. It's been all but 3 and a half weeks since I have gone fully into what I do now in my coaching, but it's it's been amazing.

Incredible. And it's such a hard decision to make, I think. It's can be really scary. I remember leaving my corporate career. It's over 6 years ago now, which is really hard to believe. I I had nothing to go to, so I didn't have a coaching business or anything on the side that I was leaning on. It was just I need to be out of here now. And, yeah, made that decision and went on and did various different qualifications, including quite randomly, I did a a qualification in bookkeeping, which is is useful useful, you know, when I'm doing my books and things like that, but I was just so lost, I think, at the time.

I just didn't know what direction. I wanted to pick up on a word that you used, Rebecca, which is calling. And how did you identify what your calling was? Like how because I think for a lot of people, especially people who are listening today, they might be wondering, you know, what am I doing here? Why am I in this job? Or maybe they think the job is okay, but they haven't experienced something that is really kind of powerful and feels like a true vocation to them.

Yes. That is such a good question, Aoife. And I think it's something that for a while, I even felt a bit guilty of because I had climbed the ladder. I had the achievements, the accolades behind me. Last year, I was nominated as leader of the year in the organization I worked for, but I knew that there was more. And even though I I enjoyed what I was doing, leading the team and all those things, I knew that the more was in the wisdom that people extracted from me. And I knew that because I I would ask myself, okay. What what sort of energizes me? What lights me up? What really sets my soul? I know this is, like, a cliche phrase that we use a lot.

What really sets my soul alight and on fire? And I had to go through these motions for many, many years. Like, I would say at least 3 years before I had that clarity. But it first started with me being open to trying different things. And even in the corporate context, there are many things you can try out even in your current role. Right? So maybe you're, you know, predominantly in an operational role. Maybe it's time to try something that applies more of the strategy, more of the thinking work. Maybe it's time to do something that requires you to be more client facing. And through those motions is when you really start to just get more in tune with your intuition in understanding what really sets your soul on fire and what do other people, what do other people benefit from.

Because I feel that a calling is is more than just your own fulfillment. It's also how you can serve others in the highest way possible.

That's a really nice way to describe it, I think, because I've always thought of, you know, what you're here to do is to serve others, but in the highest way possible. And, you know, just in adding on that, there's there's loads of stuff out there. There's various different books talking about your zone of genius, which I just gonna add in. I haven't read that yet, but I hear people talking about it. You know, it it's 1 thing to be in your zone of excellence, but it's another thing entirely to be in your zone of genius. Something that only you can do, the unique capabilities that you bring, which I think is amazing. And there's another great tool that I use with my clients called and I'm sure I've mentioned it on the podcast before, but it's called the sparketype. And it's it looks at distilling down your purpose in life essentially to 10 different categories, for want of a better word, or he calls them sparky types.

And my 1 came out as a problem solver and I was like, oh, that makes total sense for my entire career. So when I'm approaching these types of questions, let's say, of, like, well, what is your calling? And mine is to solve problems. And so when I think about this, I think, what is the biggest problem that I see, or what is 1 of the biggest problems that I personally have experienced and can help other people with? And for me, it's that most people are unhappy at work. And how can I solve that problem? So that's kind of the approach I take. There are 9 others. I'm not gonna name them now. If people are interested, you can check out the different sparketypes. You can e even take a little quiz to do it as well.

So I think trying to get to that stage and I I love the honesty of that as well, Rebecca, that you're saying it took you 3 years to get there. And those 3 years are trying different things. They're you know, you're you're moving around. You're trying to figure out, well, how can I serve people best? So talk to me a little bit more about what you what you're doing in your coaching business.

Yes. Oh my goodness. First of all, when you said how most people are unhappy, that literally just sent shivers down my spine because it's so true. Yeah. And it's also part of the evolution in in how my my coaching style has also changed now that I'm on this other side and realizing that, yes, the titles are great, and that's that's, you know, what people come to me for. But it's also important that you're putting yourself first. You are choosing yourself in what it is that you want to do. And that might not that might mean going elsewhere to have more peace, but still working towards the top of the corporate ladder as opposed to just climbing up the corporate ladder, you know, continuously.

So my coaching business is all about helping women, especially women of color, get into senior leadership positions. But having that fulfillment, knowing that they've chosen themselves first, and finding places or work that really, you know, lights them up, not just for the sake of getting the title, but doing things that, you know, every day you wake up feeling excited.

Yeah.

I was so shocked the other day when I asked a few people in in a virtual room, like, how many of you woke up today and you were excited? You were like, yes. I'm going to work. And literally only 2 people raised their hand in a room of about 45. And that's when I realized that, no. We're we're doing this all wrong. Yes. It's important to have ambitious, you know, desires, ambitious goals for your career, but it it you'll be empty if you get to that point, and you've done it at the cost of your happiness.

Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a few things I'd love to to drill into there. It's this idea that it's okay if the journey is not good because I'm going for the title, and I'll feel at peace when I get the title or I'll feel happy when I get that title that I'm looking for. And I think oftentimes we fool ourselves into thinking it's okay if if it kind of sucks right now because when I get there, then things are gonna change. But actually, usually, that's not the reality. But I'd love to drill into this idea of getting the title. And I'm like that as well, and I'm probably still like that.

I like that type of recognition and progressing. And even if the title I was gonna say even if the titles are empty, they're not really empty. They're they are definitely a recognition of someone's progress. But can we talk about that drive to get to those levels, forsaking our own fulfillment and forsaking what it doing what it is that makes us happy? Like, that we we just want we just have that inner drive to go, right, I wanna get to the top.

Yes. Yes. I I can definitely talk about what I observe and also my experience. So when when I looked back at and, you know, as I was going on this journey of finding out exactly what it is that I want to be filling my days with, and and how I want to be supporting the women in my world, I I looked at why is it why do I want to get that next title? What is the reason for this? And I I went through this. I don't know if you've heard about this whole ladder of asking that question why, like, 7 times. Yeah. And when I did that exercise, I realized that a lot of it was pent up in validation, external validation. In, you know, the traditional corporate handbook of what success meant.

And it wasn't really pegged to my version of success. And so I realized that this drive was all about proving that I could, proving that I could could get to the top, proving that, you know, it's like when you you get that a plus or whatever it is that makes you the the star student, and you come home with the report card, and you're like, look, mom. I made it. Look, dad. I made it. And I realized that that could not be the driving factor. It needed to be so much deeper than that because once you once you have that achievement, that validation just disappears. And then you're on to the next thing, and then you're on to the the next.

It just never ends.

Yeah.

And so I I needed to take that step back and look at, okay, what what actually will leave me feeling, yes. I'm I I've done it, and I'm fulfilled, and I feel good about it. And I think when I when I reframed the whole corporate drive and career advancement in my life, that's when getting the titles meant so much more to me. Mhmm. And it was not even about how long it was gonna take because I was running my own race. I was in my own league. I had blinders to what everyone else was doing, And it was all about what was important to me. So I think it's important to really take that sort of stock and really ask yourself why are you doing all this in the first place.

As you're saying you might get to that point and realize oh okay this is it and you feel good for a hot second and you're already on to the next thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And that everything that you've said is a 100% so relatable to me. But I'd love to know, Rebecca, like, what was that thing for you? So what did you find was really important, and how did you uncover, like, beyond the like, was it just simply doing the the 7 whys and then you're like, right. Okay. Now I know what's really important, or how did you uncover that, and what what actually is it?

Yes. So, yes, it that was part of, you know, the journey of uncovering it. But I think it's also linked with my superpower, my zone of genius in service. And for me, the thing that excites me to this day, I still have people in my team sending me messages, calling me, you know, having coffee dates with them, is is help seeing other people grow in my team. And that became sort of the the motto or that became the reason I was doing all these things, to see other people grow with me.

Brilliant.

Because when I grow, I also wanna bring other people with me. Yeah. I didn't want to be in this place where I'm just, you know, going up this ladder and all these people here who are working so hard are not experiencing, you know, of course, on merit, but are not experiencing, you know, the the success or or the benefits of me moving upwards in in leadership. So that sort of became a bigger driving force of and and it also helped me through the difficult days because leadership gets harder and harder as you move upwards in the corporate ladder.

Yeah.

And I would say that, really, that team leadership, team empowerment is is is definitely, like, a core force for me.

Yeah. That's that's amazing. And I think it's really what we want in all of our leaders, isn't it, to empower other people rather than I kind of I won't say the typical leader, but sometimes you do have these these leaders, these bosses who are only in it for themselves, and they have their blinkers on, which is about the next title, the next promotion without bringing other people on the journey or without thinking about, well, how can I help other people to grow? And it sounds like in your career, by shifting that focus to other people and how can I help other people grow? How can I develop and empower other people around me that has actually proven to accelerate it accelerate your career?

Yes. Absolutely. Because the the more you go up in leadership, the more you realize that the more you have to depend on other people to get things done.

Yeah.

The more you realize that your job is actually about inspiring people, is about motivating people, is about getting people to buy into the decisions you're making or sort of a direction that you want to take in different projects or strategy for your team. And I think when you really start to apply servant leadership, and I'm not saying have people step all over you, but I'm saying come in from a place of actually, I'm here to I'm here to serve. I'm here to bring out the best in these people. And when I started shifting that perspective, I also started spending way more time on mentoring my team on on the job training and coaching. And I had to let go of some of the other things that that would fill up my calendar. But first of all, it was so fulfilling. 2nd of all, it really helped us multiply our results in a much faster, you know, space of time than if I tried to sort of keep control over everything. And I think that's that's 1 of the biggest leadership lessons I I learned probably in the last 3 3 years or so.

Yeah. And that's something that I would always always recommend women do, in in you know, as they move up the ladder. Of course, different things work for different people. Everyone like, you're a problem solver. So for you, it it could have been, okay. How do I amplify this superpower?

Mhmm.

But also how do I bring other people around so that we can work together to solve this problem and we can win to it.

Yeah. Yeah. And and for me, it might even be because part of the problem solving thing is being able to see problems. You know, maybe before other people or problems that they don't anticipate or whatever that might be. But being able to, I think, identify what those problems are and understand, well, what's the root cause of that problem rather than the surface level. Here's the results that we're seeing, for example. But I love this idea. And and the question on my mind in relation to this is like, oh, wow.

You have all this I won't say you have all this extra time, but you have actively chosen to spend more time on on the job training and mentoring and empowering your team. And you mentioned that you had to let some other things go in your calendar. What were those things, and how did you make that decision?

Yes. So it was actually leveraging on my team's time.

Mhmm.

So there were meetings that I would ask my team members to go for. And a lot of times, it it was uncomfortable for them. But they grew into it, and I think they were also able to take more responsibility because they saw how I trusted them, and they made mistakes. I won't say that it wasn't perfect. They made mistakes. But that really helps me pour even more time into them and empowering them. So I would say, yeah, letting go. And and also just completely saying no to certain things or deferring them to future time.

So there were many projects that I would be asked to be involved in and I would have to politely decline, especially when it was leaders who were more senior than me. And there were things that I also had to put in place to create boundaries around the time that I also wanted to spend with with my family.

Yeah. Talk to me a little bit more about boundaries. That's something that has it comes up, you know, in lots of different conversations. And I have talked about it on the podcast a few times, probably. I was gonna say numerous times, probably not numerous times, but definitely a few times. But it's something I think that we can often struggle with. And some people seem to think boundaries is well, first of all, do you know what boundaries are? You know? And I didn't for a long time. I didn't understand what this concept was.

I didn't even realize. But since I learned more about it, you think it's this 1 and done that you understand where someone is crossing a boundary or where you don't want someone to cross a boundary. You communicate that and that's it. But actually, from my own experience and from when I speak to other people about this as well, it's not quite as clear cut as that. So do you wanna talk to us about the the journey of knowing what those boundaries are and and setting them and maintaining them?

Yeah. That's that's a very good point you've raised. And I am going to be here and be all honest and say sometimes my boundaries had to be fluid.

Yeah. Yeah. Of course.

Seasons. There were seasons in my career, especially January to March where I worked, which was year end financials, and there were so many audits going on and there's so all the client meetings and board meetings. And, you know, those 3 months of the year, I spent a lot of time in the office. I spent a lot of time away from my family. But I also created certain boundaries around, okay, when isn't a busy time at work, this is what I am going to be doing. And I I would literally block my calendar. And from 5 o'clock, people could not book time in my calendar Yeah. During certain times of the year.

And so I think it's important for you like, you're saying, you might define your boundaries, and some people might cross them, and you might have to to communicate them a few times. I think it's important to also know when when people when they're not nonnegotiables.

Yes.

When boundaries have been stepped over over and over again and this whoever it is, the perpetrator knows that they're doing it. At what point do you say, okay. This is it. I am choosing to either walk away or, you know, I am I am choosing to stay in here and know that this environment is just not conducive to some of the boundaries that I want to have in my life. Right? The 2 are possible because the reality is you could be in a place where certain boundaries just cannot coexist with the nature of your work or the culture in your team, and you'll have to make that decision, which is not always the easiest thing to do. I think when you're a leader, it becomes easier to sort of embed certain cultures in your team. But that's not to say that people who are above you or in other departments won't, you know, try to push the boundaries and envelopes. You still have to, you know, to to have to step into your power over and over again and communicate those.

And and when it gets to a point where it's reaching that threshold, sometimes it's sitting down certain people and having those difficult conversations. So that's that's really how I see it. But I think for me, the bottom of of the whole concept of boundaries is knowing which season you're in, knowing what your nonnegotiables are

Yeah.

And knowing when it's time to walk away.

Love that. That's brilliant. I think 1 thing that we haven't touched on yet that I'd love to get your perspective on is what are some of the common challenges that you see women and particularly women of color facing in the workplace? And, like, before we go into solution mode, let's have let's uncover, like, what are some of the big challenges that you're seeing?

Oh, yes. Yes. So I think, first of all, we we cannot deny that the fact that we grew up in different sort of upbringings, there's a culture dynamics that will always that will always influence how people lead, how people perceive others when, you know, when they interact with others. And I think that's 1 of the biggest challenges that even I, as a woman of color, experienced is just being able to break down those those barriers. And, I mean, we we just need to say it as it is. The majority of leaders right now in traditional corporate organizations are still men. Right? And there are things that we as women experience, not only just women of color, just generally women, that men can just not relate to. Mhmm.

You know, going through motherhood, for example, having to have competing priorities like that. A man cannot understand that in a in the same way that a woman can because he's just never experienced it. So I think that the whole culture dynamics and also the agenda dynamics plays plays a big role. But, also, because of our upbringing, there are certain, I don't wanna call them limiting beliefs, but certain conditioning that influences how you interact with others. So what do I mean by this? For example, I was brought up in a household where you were not allowed to speak back to someone in authority. If someone in authority says you are going to do XYZ, you do XYZ. You do not question authority, and that was it. And that could

be To me, that seems fairly fairly normal, fairly standard. Yeah. Don't talk back to adults. You know? If

someone asked

you to do something, he'd do it.

Exactly. And when you get into the workplace, yes, you you still have to be respectful, but you need to learn how to speak up and challenge other people respectfully. And that's also a way that other people start to respect you and your opinions. Because if you keep quiet, people will assume that you you don't have anything to say about something. And so just minute things like that, I have seen have have impacted how we then end up showing up at work and how other people perceive us, whether they perceive us as leadership material or or not.

Brilliant. Yeah. And what do you think then if we go into solution mode? So you mentioned about learning how to speak up and challenge people respectfully. But with this with how society is or with how corporate life is where the majority of senior leaders are men, what do you think is you know, how do how do we solve how do we solve that problem? How do we get more women into those spaces? And I I hear this often where decisions are made. How do we get more women into those rooms where decisions are actually being made?

Yes. Well, we need to have more conversations like these where our male allies are listening in. Yeah. Because I think sometimes we think that they know that they need to bring us into those rooms. We think that they know that they need to pause and say, Rebecca, what is your opinion? But sometimes they don't. Sometimes they're just in a world of their own doing what they have always done. And I think just having more of those intentional conversations and pit stops, It's not just a 1 off biased biases training that you do once a year. It's having pit stops, maybe on a quarterly basis where people give you candid feedback, maybe anonymously on on, you know, your leadership style and whether it is inclusive, whether it allows women to have their voice at the table.

And you, as a leader, being able to take that feedback, and being able to use it in how you you approach leadership going forward. So I think it's more of, like, a continuous conversation. And I think we also need to normalize it because so many times when I don't know about maybe maybe in in where you live in in in Europe, it's it's a more just normal conversation. But I feel like here, it's still 1 of those conversations that people have to trot on with, you know, tiptoes. And no 1 really wants to talk about it because it touches on them, you know, and how they speak to others and how they interact with others. But I think we just need to normalize it because we are all learning. Even as women, as women of color, we are also learning how to be inclusive and how to interact with these people in a way that they can understand our points of view. There's no 1 here who who is perfect.

So I think just that continuous conversation and ongoing sort of feedback loop where feedback is not just given, but it's given and it's implemented, and people have a chance to give that feedback continuously.

Brilliant.

And then we need to have we just need to have more women in these leadership promotion pipelines.

Yeah.

Like, there is no other way we're going to solve this. And I know that people some people argue that, you know, people need to get into those pipelines on merit. But if you really want to have, you know, pipelines on merit. But if you really want to have a diversified leadership room, you've gotta make certain you know, you've gotta you gotta make certain initiatives or you've gotta make certain decisions that promote that view or or that strategy or that direction you want to take. And sometimes the only solution is get more women in those pipelines. Yeah. Literally nominate them based on the potential you see and start to groom them from a very early stage, not when they are senior managers ready to get into VP level, when they are still early on, you know, entry level analysts or middle managers, start grooming them then so that they have clarity on the path to leadership, but also so that you're getting buy in from them, that you actually believe in them. Yeah.

Many people don't even know that other leaders believe that they're leadership material because the leaders are not even communicating that.

Yeah.

So I think those 2 alone gives us a lot of work, as leaders, as our male allies who are in those positions of of leadership to do something about this.

Yeah. I think it's it's a really good point there about letting people know that you see them as leadership material quite early on in their career because I think it's you know, and and with the teams that I've worked with throughout my career, you can kind of see early on where someone has really high potential. Maybe they're not in the right environment, but you can definitely see that they're they're a hard worker, that they're smart, that they deal well with other people. But oftentimes, we don't explicitly say or sometimes maybe we assume that they know that they're performing really well, and so we neglect to actually verbalize it and and say to them, you know what? I think you're really great at your job, and I think you'll go far or, you know, you'll be next up for for the next level of promotion, whatever that might be. But, I think really, really valuable point as a reminder to people, let other people know when they're performing really, really well. Rebecca, I've so loved this conversation. Is there anything else that you want to talk about before we wrap things up? Likewise.

I think this was a very valuable conversation. I just want to close this with the the women who are listening in here and even our allies to know that you have so much potential. Right now, you're probably operating at a fraction of what is available to you. And I think sometimes you just need to get that reminder to rise up to the challenge because you're you're you're so much more capable of of achieving really great things. And I can't wait to see more women in those places of leadership. And when you get there, bring more women with you.

Yeah.

Start to influence policy that enhances the cause for more women in leadership. As much as you have that privilege, you also have the responsibility.

I think an amazing reminder to people. Yeah. Like, you are capable of so much more than what you think you are, I think. I think sometimes when the when when we remove the the mask or the conditioning or the scaled eyes or whatever it might be, and we we see the potential for what it is. That's absolutely incredible. Rebecca, the question I ask everyone who comes on the podcast, what does being happier at work mean to you?

Oh, wow. That yeah. My view on that has changed a lot in the last few weeks or months. But I think for me, being happy is having the space to be present in my work, but also having that space to be present in my family and the things that are important to me outside of work without any prejudice, around it. I know that's a long explanation, but hopefully No. It's I

think I think it makes sense. It's being present. And if I'm reading between the lines, it's it's working without feeling guilty and spending time with your family without feeling guilty, because I know I suffer with that as well. I don't have children, but, you know, because I know I suffer with that as well. I don't have children. But when I work sometimes, it's like, oh, I shouldn't be working. I should be spending time doing this other thing. And when I'm not working, I'm like, oh, I should be working.

So it's it's trying to find that balance between okay. So when I'm here, I'm fully present, and I don't feel that I should be doing something else. And when I'm here, I'm fully present, and I don't feel like I should be doing anything else. So, Rebecca, if people want to learn more about what you do, if they want to reach out to connect, I I will absolutely 100% tell people to follow you on Instagram, but you wanna let people know what the best way to to connect with you is.

Yes. I am on Instagram literally every day. Thank you, Alyssa. And so feel free to connect with me over there at rebecca k Morioki. I am also on LinkedIn at Rebecca Morioki. So either of the 2 places. But if you really wanna have fun and see me in my element, living everyday life, Instagram is probably the best place to do that.

Yeah. Yeah. No. I love I 100% recommend your Instagram feed. Absolutely love it. Thank you so much for your time today. I really, really enjoyed this conversation, and there's so many actions and takeaways that people can do straight away. So thank you so much for your time today.

Thank you, Aoife.