Assess how feeling career stuck is impacting you across ten areas of life - in 30 minutes. Then, decide what you want to do about it.
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We rarely talk about guilt at work, but many of us carry it every day—without realizing how much it shapes our decisions, stress levels, and even our happiness.
This week’s Joy at Work Experiment was inspired by David, a high-achieving professional who reached the top of his field only to feel disconnected and guilty for no longer loving his work. His story made me examine my own hidden guilt, and what I found was surprising.
When I did this experiment, I found that guilt crept in when I felt I didn’t allocate enough time to others or when I was so absorbed in work that I overlooked small but important moments. Recognizing this helped me adjust my calendar and approach, leading to less guilt and more self-compassion.
Give it a try. Ten minutes of reflection could change the way you experience your workday.
Transcripts
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You're busy, yeah?
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There's never enough time to focus on your future work happiness, but
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if you don't focus on it, things just stay the same, don't they?
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In these short episodes, I want to give you some tiny ideas, some mini experiments
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to try out this week to either dial down a pain point for you at work or
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dial up your potential for joy at work.
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Let's dive in.
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today, something remarkable happened.
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David had just completed one of the challenges in week five
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of the Fierce Symporium, which is my online career redesign
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program for midlife professionals.
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The challenge helped him connect a pivotal dot in his nearly 30 year
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career for the very first time.
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David is brilliant.
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He scaled his career ladder fast.
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He thrived in an ultra competitive field.
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He grafted and sprinted hard at problems.
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With each promotion, he took on more responsibility until, at a relatively
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young age, he'd reached the top.
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Meanwhile, his family was growing.
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Over time, he realized something unsettling.
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The role he had worked so hard to attain no longer contained
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the work he actually enjoyed.
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He had oversight, sure, but it wasn't the same.
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He missed the hands on, engaging work that once energized and fulfilled him.
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At first, he ignored the whispered grumblings inside.
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He was a grafter, after all.
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He had done hard things before, and he could do hard things again.
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But little by little, he disengaged.
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Now, surprisingly, no one noticed, so he continued.
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He started avoiding the tasks he didn't believe in.
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He sidestepped work that drained him and protected his time with his family.
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But this shift came with an unexpected consequence.
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Guilt.
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David, who had always prided himself on running hard at problems,
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now felt like he was hiding.
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He swapped his usual dive in mindset for something more subtle, doing
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just enough to succeed in others eyes, and all the while feeling a
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growing discomfort within himself.
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His internal monologue was full of shoulds and ought tos, and these guilt
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driven thoughts completely blocked any positive action for change.
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Slowly, this strange disengagement, brought on by wearing guilt like
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a daily overcoat, had seeped into his real life, beyond work.
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Until one day, he decided he'd had enough.
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He knew he couldn't thrive without designing work that made him feel good.
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And that's when we started working together.
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David's realization inspired me to examine my own guilt.
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I wondered how much of my workday is shaped by hidden guilt.
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So this morning I ran a simple experiment and I invite you to try it out too,
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as this week's joy at work experiment.
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Step one, track your work guilt.
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Grab a pen and think about yesterday.
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Write down moments when you've felt guilty at work.
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Here's my unfiltered list.
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I felt impatient with an extroverted team member who processes
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ideas by talking, which is the opposite of how I process ideas.
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I said the word shitty in a meeting with a potential client.
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She looked surprised.
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I apologized.
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But no, this is me.
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I sent a last minute podcast recording to Sarah, my producer,
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possibly stressing her out.
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I worked late and was so engrossed in what I was doing that I didn't
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even say hello to my daughters when they both came home from school.
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I sent the preparation email for my weekly group training
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session later than I usually do.
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Step two, look for patterns.
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When I reviewed my list, two themes stood out.
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Out.
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One, time allocation.
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I felt guilty when I didn't give enough time to others.
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A colleague who needed space to think, a podcast producer who might
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have needed more time than I gave her, and some clients who enjoy
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advanced warning to plan their week.
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Two, the second theme, absorption in work.
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When deeply engaged, I sometimes overlooked small but
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important acts of kindness.
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Like greeting my kids or adjusting my language for different audiences.
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Step three, zoom out.
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What's the big takeaway?
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I realized my guilt often stemmed from areas I naturally struggle
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with, like fine detailed planning.
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I thrive on building and shaping ideas, but don't always finesse the execution
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in a way that works best for others.
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Step four, turn insight into action.
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To counter this, I made two small but meaningful changes.
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Number one, extra time for deep thinkers.
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I'll extend my normal automatic meeting time by 30 minutes for a particular team
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member who thrives on verbal processing.
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a dedicated prep window.
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I'll schedule a recurring, more realistic half hour time frame as opposed to
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the five minute allocation I've got now every Tuesday morning to send my
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client preparation emails on time.
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This week's joy at work experiment left me feeling less
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guilty, more self compassionate.
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more aware of my strengths and sensibilities.
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It helped me reframe yesterday in a useful way to take off my guilt
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jacket, even though I hadn't even realized I'd been wearing one.
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All thanks to David's dot connecting.
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Try it yourself.
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See if you can lighten the load and take off your guilt overcoat.
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It takes just 10 minutes and you might be surprised at what you uncover.
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If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment.
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It's a 30 minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas
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of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down.
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I call it D Railed.
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It's a fabulous place to begin a joy at work redesign.
