You were told, in a hundred small ways, that something was wrong with you. So you set goals, fixed things, waited to love yourself once you finally got there. What if there was nothing to fix?

Join me live for the Perfectly Designed Workshop, Thursday, September 24th at 2pm Eastern, 1pm Central, where we'll explore the Inner Codes of Self-Love, my own original framework built on 15 areas related to self-love in your Human Design chart.

Upgrade to paid at https://ericavoell.com/connect to attend live or catch the replay.

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Follow me on Substack: https://substack.com/@ericavoell

Connect with me: erica[at]ericavoell[dot]com

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericavoell.coaching/

Have you ever done something that felt so big and amazing that you

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wanted to shout it from the rooftops

to tell everyone how amazing it is?

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That's exactly what this

episode is all about.

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I am sharing about an upcoming workshop

that I am so excited about that I'm

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almost bursting at the seams about.

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I'm so excited to share this with you.

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Hi, I'm Erica Voell, and I want to

welcome you to the Unfolding podcast.

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This episode is different than

any of my other solo episodes.

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This is an unedited Substack

Live that I did recently.

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You'll notice in the recording that I ask

if they can hear me, and I'll reference

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people who were there with me live.

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I would love for you to join me

for the Perfectly Designed workshop

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on Thursday, September 24th.

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If you're not a subscriber on Substack,

you can still join the workshop by

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going to ericavoell.com/connect.

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That's E-R-I-C-A, V as in

Victor, O-E-L-L.com/connect

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You'll get all the information to

join me for the workshop, and if you

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can't make it, you'll get the replay.

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That, once again, that's Erika

Voell, E-R-I-C-A, V as in

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Victor, O-E-L-L.com/connect

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to join me for the workshop.

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So let's get to this episode.

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So this, I have to tell you

all, welcome to everyone.

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This is my first solo Substack Live.

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Uh, every other one I've had, I've

always been interviewing someone,

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so this is a little, a little crazy

for me to be stepping in by myself.

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So I'm so glad that you're all here,

and let me know if you can hear me.

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Just give me a yes in the chat so I can

see and make sure that you can hear me

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I know there's a delay, so I'm

gonna, I'm gonna hopefully go ahead.

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Yes, you can hear me.

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Yay.

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Okay.

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I never…

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I always have somebody else that can

h- tell me if I'm, if you can hear

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me, so this is, this is a new thing.

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So welcome.

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I'm so excited to talk to you today,

because I am just, like, beaming and so

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excited about what's coming and next week.

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Um, so I wanna ask you if you have

ever read or heard something and

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it just gave you chills, because

you swear that that person has a

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direct connection to your brain.

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Or maybe it was something that you

heard or some- ma- maybe s- music or

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a book that you read and suddenly you

feel like you, they know you better

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than you maybe know yourself, or maybe

you know yourself better now that

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you've read it or you've heard it.

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Like, a piece that has been missing

and just clicked into place.

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So for those of you who, that don't

know me, I am Erica Voell, and I'm

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calling myself the Dot Connection Lady.

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I'm a human design guide for women

in midlife to help you connect the

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dots to see the full picture of

yourself and your relationships.

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I don't hand you the answers, but I

want to help you understand what's

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actually happening in your life

so you can stop believing that

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there is something wrong with you.

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And I'm so excited to talk about

my workshop that's coming up next

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Thursday, called Perfectly Designed.

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It's Thursday, September 24th at 2:00

PM Eastern, 1:00 PM Central US time.

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And it's for paid subscribers, so

if you're interested in joining me

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and you're not a paid subscriber

yet, go to ericavoell.com.

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That's E-R-I-C-A, V as in

Victor, O-E-L-L.com/connect

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to upgrade to paid so you can

attend this workshop live.

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How many of us grew up believing that

there was something wrong with us?

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I mean, if you grew up in the '70s

or the '80s, in the '90s in Western

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culture, you were told that there

was something wrong with you.

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Maybe of how you looked, or how you

should act, or how you should talk, or,

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you know, s- uh, for me, it was to stand

up straighter and hold in my stomach.

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It was just there was always something,

and it, each thing kept piling on more

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and more things that were wrong with me.

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And I'm sure a lot of you

have had this experience, too.

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Something was just piling on, and it was

one more thing that you needed to fix.

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And with each thing that we

pile on, it's another reason we

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think we can't love ourselves.

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"Oh, well, when I get to my

goal weight, I will look good,

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and then I can love myself."

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When I find my ideal partner, I'll

be good enough in, maybe in the eyes

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of my family or even in the eyes

of myself, and I can love myself.

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We always keep setting another

destination, and we keep

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thinking if we could just reach

it, then we'll love ourselves.

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But- Even if we think

we also shame ourselves.

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Like, how often do we like, "Oh,

these pants don't fit right.

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I'm not good enough.

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Oh, I just cannot…"

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Maybe if I starve myself, I'm gonna

use weight loss for g- example

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'cause I think it's one that

a lot of us can identify with.

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If I stop eating the cookies,

and I take enough action and I do

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something, then I'll be good enough.

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And honestly, no amount of shaming

makes us good enough because it's

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just another thing and it's another

milestone that we keep moving

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further and further down the line.

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But what if I told you, you

don't need to fix anything?

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If somebody had told me that

10 years ago, I would've been

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like, "Excuse me, wait, what?

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You, you, you don't know about my

thighs, you don't know about my hips."

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Like, I have so many things to fix.

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Even five years ago, I sto-

thought I needed so, to fix so many

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things, and I got so obsessed with

reading self-help books to fix me.

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But you are amazing just

as you are right now.

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And you've probably, maybe

during the pandemic, maybe

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you're still doing them, we…

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a lot of us did jigsaw puzzles.

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And you get to the end, and

there is one piece missing.

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And you look in the box, and you, you

look over, all over the table, and

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you look all over and you're like,

"Where is that freaking missing piece?"

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And you get really frustrated, so you

walk away and you don't finish the puzzle.

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And then you come back to the table

at some point, and you're like, you

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look, see it underneath the chair

that you were just sitting in,

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and it was right there all along.

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And then you put it in and

you're like, "This is great.

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I finished this amazing puzzle."

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Maybe it was 1,000 pieces, maybe

it was 500 pieces, and when you

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put that last piece in, you can see

the whole picture come into view.

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Because that missing piece was

creating a gap in that picture.

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And in the Perfectly Designed workshop,

we're going to be talking about how

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to see yourself more clearly in a more

loving and compassionate way, and I'm

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gonna be sharing something very special

that I have been working on all summer

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to help you fill in that missing piece.

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I'm gonna be sharing about the inner codes

of self-love in the workshop, and you can

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join me in the workshop by upgrading to a

paid subscriber at ericavoell.com/connect.

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That's E-R-I-C-A.com/

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sorry, let me go back.

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That's E-R-I-C-A, V as in

Victor, O-E-L-L.com/connect.

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That will take you to my upgrade

to paid page on Substack, and

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you can join me for the workshop.

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'Cause all summer was about the summer

of self-love, and that was sparked by

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one comment from Michelle Marie Neyers

about how human design helped her love

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herself And it just sparked something

in me, and I knew that we needed to

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talk about self-love all summer long.

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And if you've read the articles, you

s- read these amazing interviews from

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11 amazing women, and if you s- I, we,

I interviewed them on Substack Lives.

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They shared their self-love

journeys, and they're not done.

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We're never done.

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I mean, the only time we're ever

done is when we're dead, and even

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then, like, we have a spirit.

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And how they showed they, how they

fell in love with themselves through

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the part of their human design.

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Oh my gosh, Bridget, that makes

me so happy to hear you say it

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helped you so much with self-love.

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Oh my gosh, I hope you join me in the

workshop 'cause it's going to be amazing.

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And then last week, we heard from Tomi

Collier last week about how what th-

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you see on camera can show up, can

bring out what's showing up inside.

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And it, the, the transformation that you

feel when you are not only showing up

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on camera well, but like you are feeling

like you inside and you're like, "Oh,

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this part of me doesn't need to be fixed.

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This is a challenge for

me, and it carries a gift."

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So this summer was all about self-love,

but as I've been interviewing these

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women, and as I've been hearing from

so many of you in the comments and

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o- on the Substack Lives, this summer

has helped me do research, and I've

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been exploring, and I've been asking

questions about the areas of the human

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design chart that relate to self-love

and our relationships with ourselves.

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If you look at traditional human

design, there is one gate, that's Gate

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10, for those of you that know human

design, that's all, that's self-love.

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That's it.

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And that's the second half of my

life is that's the gate I have

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in the second part of my life.

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But as I dug in and I was like,

"There has to be more," because

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Michelle shared something with me

that Gate 10 is not what she has.

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She has another gate, and she learned

how to love herself through Human Design.

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And so I really, really dug in, and

I was like, "There has to be more."

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And as I've been reading the Gene Keys

book and digging more into Human Design,

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I found that there are 15 areas of

Human Design that are actually related

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to the relationships with ourselves.

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And I wanna thank every one of

the women that participated in

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the Summer of Self-Love Project

and those that are part of my s-

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Flower District Sisters Mastermind.

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They all shared their lived

experiences, they answered lots

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of questions that helped me see in

real life how Human Design and how

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self-love can be expressed through

many different areas of your chart.

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Because what I heard over and over

from people, and I hear it from my

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clients, I heard it f- when I asked

just random people on Substack and in

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Human Design groups that I'm in what

changed for them when they s- understood

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the one aspect of their Human Design,

and what they all said, I think there

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were 25 people, is, "I understood

that there was nothing wrong with me."

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And that was my personal experience, too.

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There is nothing wrong with me.

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And it, it is a life-changing

feeling to feel like I don't

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have anything to be fixed.

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I don't need that next self-help

book that I hear on a podcast.

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I don't need to get that next,

you know, weight loss thing.

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I don't need to try this next fad

diet And I believe that we are

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all designed as we are meant to

be on this planet in this time.

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I was on a podcast recently,

and she asked me about kids.

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She was a labor and delivery nurse,

and she asked me about kids who

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are born when their mothers are

induced or through C-section and

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it affecting their birth time.

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And I w- and I told her that we are

all born at the exact time that the

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universe source meant us to be born,

and it, that just blows my mind.

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My logical mind is like, "Wait, what?"

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But that means we're all so perfectly

designed, and throughout our lives

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and through our experiences and our

relationships, we are then conditioned to

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believe that there is something wrong with

us, that we have to fit into this perfect

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box that society has defined for us.

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Maybe that box that has been defined

for us is not the box for us,

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and we also create our own boxes.

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"I'm a librarian" was one box for me.

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"I'm a mom" was another box for me.

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And they can feel really rigid that we

create for ourselves, but then there are

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the other boxes that everybody else is

like, "Excuse me, I need you to be this.

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I need you to be that."

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And that's exactly what we're gonna be

talking about in the Perfectly Designed

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workshop on Thursday, September 24th.

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It's next Thursday at 2:00 PM

Eastern, 1:00 PM Central US time.

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I'm gonna be sharing more about this.

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I'm gonna be sharing about the inner

codes of self-love related to those

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15 aspects in your human design chart

related to self-love in human design.

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This is my own interpretation.

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This is not part of the traditional

human design teachings, and

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I wanna be clear about that.

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And I also want to, like, acknowledge

and thank my mentors, Julie Ciardi

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and Erin Clare Jones, who have

shown me that we can make our own

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interpretations of human design and

carry it out and share it with the world.

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I have selected these areas because

of their particular challenge

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and the gifts that they create.

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They create such a compelling

relationship with ourselves

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through that self-love lens.

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It's how your inner critic shows up

and what comes through when they are l-

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when that inner critic is really loud.

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What you also might notice that happens in

your body when that critic shows up, when

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A lot of times we think we're in our

minds, but so often it's somewhere in our

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body it's something else is happening.

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And also, what is a loving reframe?

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Not to fight the critic and to shut the

door on them, 'cause I know the more

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we push them out, the louder they get.

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I mean, they can…

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For me, she's a backseat

driver that drives me crazy.

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She has something to say all the time,

and sometimes she shows up so loudly

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and fiercely that suddenly she's

in the passenger seat next to me,

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telling me everything I'm not doing

right, telling me that nobody wants

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to hear what I have to say So we're

not gonna shut that inner critic out.

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We're going to actually give her

some acknowledgement, and we're

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gonna give her some love, and

we're gonna be like, "Thank you.

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I've got this.

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I'm the one driving."

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And we're also gonna look at what

self-love really feels like when you're

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in that loving relationship with yourself.

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And then what I'm so excited to share,

so I'm gonna be sharing these with

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you, but then I'm gonna be giving you

a special preview of this project that

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I will be releasing later this year.

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It's been such a labor of love, and

it's not completely ready for primetime.

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I was hoping it would be, but it's not.

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It just needs a little bit of

refinement, and I wanna be able to get

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everything just the way I want it to be.

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But I'm gonna be giving

you a digital sneak peek.

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And if you know very little about

human design, this workshop is for you.

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If you already know a lot about human

design, this workshop is for you,

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because we are exploring something

that you're not gonna get through

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traditional human design or the Gene

Keys teachings or that you will look

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up online or even get through AI, and

we all know AI is not always right, and

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it will give you all sorts of stuff.

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And if you Google things now,

you're gonna get crap from Reddit.

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So this is a new way of seeing

yourself through the human design

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lens, through the self-love lens.

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It's a new approach to developing

that more loving and compassionate

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relationship with yourself.

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So I would love for you to join me

live Thursday, September 24th, at 2:00

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PM Eastern, 1:00 PM Central US time.

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For my paid subscribers, in the

replay page, you're going to get a

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link so that you can register for the

workshop, and you can join me on Zoom,

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so you can be there live with me.

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You can be asking me questions.

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And the replay will show

up here on Substack.

260

And to upgrade to paid, to be a s- paid

subscriber, go to ericavoell.com/connect.

261

That's E-R-I-C-A, V as in

Victor, O-E-L-L.com/connect

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to learn more about upgrading

so that you can join me live.

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You can watch the replay.

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I am so excited to share this with you.

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I am just, like, geeking out and just…

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It's, it's so exciting to me to

be able to share this with you

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and to say, like, I have something

to share and something to give.

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The second half of my life is all

about self-love, and I thought, "Okay.

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Well, that's great.

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I just need to do a little bit more

work, and then I'll love myself more."

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No.

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This was de- diving deep.

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And I wanna say, over the summer,

my inner critic was so loud.

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She had plenty to say.

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And I have been using the tools I have

been creating for you for myself, because

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I knew that I could not give this to

anybody, I could not share this with

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anybody if I am not using it myself.

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So this is going to be about helping

you see yourself in a more loving light.

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Because if there's anything that

came through in the 10 interviews

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with the women this summer and with

Tommy, it's that what you see in the

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mirror is not how others see you,

and often what we see is very skewed.

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We all have areas that we know, that

we think about, that we focus on, that

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are wro- we think are wrong with us.

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But we see, when we see that whole

picture of ourselves, we can have

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more compassion for ourselves, and

we begin to develop that more re-

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loving relationship with ourselves.

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So once again, join me for the workshop.

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You can upgrade to paid.

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You'll get this and other workshops.

290

You can go to ericavoell.com/connect.

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That's E-R-I-C-A-V-O-E-L-L.com/connect.

292

For those of you that are listening,

that, it's E-R-I-C-A, V as in

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Victor, O-E-L-L.com/connect

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to learn more, to upgrade.

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And if you're already a paid

subscriber, I look forward that…

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hope that you'll join me live.

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And if you can't be there

live, catch the replay.

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So thank you all for joining me.

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Oh my gosh, how many of you?

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There are 10 of you here,

so thank you so much.

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Thank you all for joining me

so much on my first solo live.

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I hope you all join me in the workshop.

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Thank you so much, and I hope

you have a great weekend.

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Bye.