Grief isn't just an emotion — it's a full-body experience. In this episode, Dr. Kelsy Vick (board-certified Doctor of Physical Therapy and pelvic floor specialist) breaks down what's actually happening in your brain and body when you're grieving — and why that chest tightness, exhaustion, and brain fog are real physiological responses, not weakness.

We cover the neuroscience of grief (what happens in your amygdala, prefrontal cortex, and reward circuitry), how grief impacts your immune system and hormones, why grief disrupts your sleep more than you realize, and the surprising overlap between Western neuroscience and Traditional Chinese Medicine's ancient understanding of grief living in the lungs.

In this episode:

• What grief actually does to your brain (the neuroscience)
• Why grief feels like physical pain in your chest
• The immune and hormonal impact of grief on your body
• Why grief disrupts your sleep — and why that matters
• What Traditional Chinese Medicine has known about grief for thousands of years
• Evidence-based, gentle things that actually help

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to leave a review — it helps another woman who needs to find this podcast.

62:: Dr. Felice Chan, a Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor, talks hormonal balance, anxiety, gut health, and skincare from a TCM perspective

96:: The overnight system In charge of cleaning your brain (& how to stop getting in its way!)

5:: spring cleaning:: brain detox! spring cleaning part II (the little-known glymphatic system, sleep hygiene, & sleep checklist)

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Sources:

Statharakos, N. (2025). Unraveling the Neurobiology of Grief: Insights into Brain and Behavior — Narrative Review. Brain Science Advances. https://doi.org/10.26599/BSA.2025.905001

Systematic review of neuroimaging studies in grief and bereavement (2025). ScienceDirect. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0149763425005366

Knowles, L., O'Connor, M.F., & Ruiz, J. (2019). Bereavement and immune function — review of 41 years of research. Psychosomatic Medicine. https://news.arizona.edu/news/four-questions-how-grief-affects-immune-system

Seiler, A. et al. (2020). The Psychobiology of Bereavement and Health. UCLA Stress Lab / Frontiers. https://www.uclastresslab.org/pubs/Seiler_Frontiers_2020.pdf

University of Utah Health (2024). The Physical Domain of Grief. https://healthcare.utah.edu/the-scope/womens-7/all/2024/03/e45-physical-domain-of-grief

MDVIP — How Grief Can Affect Our Health. https://www.mdvip.com/patients/resources/how-grief-affects-our-health-and-how-manage-it

Sleep disturbances in bereavement: A systematic review (2020). ScienceDirect. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1087079220300745

De Lang, T.A. et al. (2024). Trajectories of insomnia following bereavement. Sleep Medicine, 114, 159-166.

O'Connor, M.F. — Sleep Troubles May Complicate the Grieving Process. University of Arizona. https://news.arizona.edu/node/23963

Blue Note Psychotherapy (2026). Grief, Trauma, and REM Sleep: How the Brain Processes Emotional Pain During Sleep. https://www.bluenotepsychotherapy.com/blog-1-1/when-grief-disrupts-sleep-and-why-that-matters-for-healing

Williams, J. et al. (2021). Can Physical Activity Support Grief Outcomes in Individuals Who Have Been Bereaved? A Systematic Review. Sports Medicine — Open. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8028581/

Leong, J., Tan, L.L., & Goh, C.C. (2025). Profound Grief and Pulmonary Fibrosis — A Case Report. BJPsych Open. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC12260628/

Giovanni Maciocia (2021). Stagnation of Lung-Qi and Heart-Qi in Chinese Medicine. https://giovanni-maciocia.com/on-stagnation-of-lung-and-heart-qi/

Encircle Acupuncture (2026). The Emotions and Traditional Chinese Medicine. https://encircleacupuncture.com/blog/emotions-and-tcm

Kara Acupuncture and Wellness (2025). The Metal Element in Traditional Chinese Medicine. http://www.aculaura.com/blog/2024/10/4/the-metal-element-in-traditional-chinese-medicine-what-it-means-to-you

Meine TCM (2025). Understanding Grief with Chinese Medicine: Lung and Letting Go. https://www.meine-tcm.com/en/mourning-in-chinese-medicine/

Welcome to Wellness Fixes the Pod, a

by Maven Media production, where we

2

believe you deserve real education

from real experts, delivered

3

in a way you can actually use.

4

I'm Dr.

5

Kelsey Vick, your board-certified

orthopedic doctor of physical therapy, and

6

this podcast was built for the girl who

is done feeling overwhelmed and frustrated

7

by conflicting health noise and is ready

for something she can actually trust.

8

Every week, we have honest, science-backed

conversations about your health,

9

your hormones, your brain, your

body, and everything in between.

10

No fluff, no fear-mongering,

just the truth.

11

Because understanding your

body is the most powerful

12

thing you can do for yourself.

13

A table full of experts built for

the curious girl who wants the truth.

14

So welcome.

15

Your seat is waiting for you.

16

It's not weakness.

17

It's not that your body can't cope.

18

It's your nervous system doing

exactly what it was designed to do.

19

So no, grief isn't just an emotion.

20

It's not just sadness.

21

It's your entire nervous system

reorganizing around the loss

22

that you just experienced.

23

Anger lives in the liver, fear lives

in the kidneys, joy lives in the

24

heart, and grief lives in the lungs.

25

The heaviness in your chest, the

shallow breathing, the labored

26

breathing at rest, but also a little

bit harder during exercise, the sigh,

27

the way that a wave of grief can

physically take your breath away.

28

Grief is like a rock in your pocket, and

you wonder if that grief is ever gonna go

29

away or that sensation is ever going away.

30

And what happens is you just

get stronger dealing with it.

31

Grief elevates stress hormones,

suppresses the immune system,

32

drives systemic inflammation, and

disrupts your hormonal regulation.

33

This is the biology underneath

the instinct to be with people

34

when you're experiencing grief.

35

You're not just seeking comfort,

you're likely regulating your nervous

36

system with these oxytocin-inducing

activities and interactions.

37

Joy shared is joy multiplied, and

grief shared is grief divided.

38

You know that feeling where everything

on the outside looks the same?

39

You're showing up to work, you're

hanging out with your friends, you're

40

trying to show up as your normal self.

41

When in reality, underneath it all is this

heavy weight, this missing piece of you

42

as you go through this process of grief

43

it's not necessarily weakness.

44

It's not that your body can't cope.

45

It's your nervous system doing

exactly what it was designed to do

46

Welcome back to Wellness Fixes the Pod.

47

I'm your host, Dr.

48

Kelsey Vick, a board-certified

orthopedic doctor of physical therapy

49

and a pelvic floor physical therapist.

50

And to be completely honest with you

guys, you know a lot of my episodes

51

are inspired by conversations or

events happening in my own life.

52

And right now, I'm currently going

through my own grief journey as

53

someone very close, very special

to me has recently passed away.

54

And I know a lot of us have experienced

grief, and it's not something that

55

we really like to talk about, but

I was very curious on the science

56

of it all, the neuroscience of it

all, how it shows up physically.

57

We had Dr.

58

Felice Chan on the podcast back almost

a year ago, and she actually posted

59

something on social media that sort

of pushed me to do this episode, and

60

she was talking about the traditional

Chinese medicine approach to grief

61

and where you actually feel that.

62

And as I have been going through

this grief journey, I've been feeling

63

it show up in my body in certain

places, and her post on social media

64

really put words to the sensations

that I was feeling in my own body.

65

So today, we're gonna dive into grief,

the neuroscience behind grief, how our

66

bodies actually handle it from more

my realm of expertise and the Western

67

medicine approach, but then also the

Eastern medicine approach, the traditional

68

Chinese medicine approach that Dr.

69

Felice Chan introduced me to.

70

And we'll also cover a little bit

of the faith aspect because I've

71

realized that I have so much hope in

72

something bigger than myself, that

this person who I am dearly missing is

73

somewhere even better than here, and That

gives me a lot of peace despite the grief.

74

So we will cover all of that,

and if you guys are going through

75

your own grief journey, just know

that I am right there with you.

76

I know we have all probably gone

through some sort of grief in

77

our lives, and I wanted to cover

this episode as I am currently

78

going through that in my own life

79

So most of us have been taught to think

of grief as an emotional experience

80

that happens to have some

physical side effects

81

Maybe trouble sleeping,

maybe losing your appetite

82

But the research actually tells a more

complete and validating story than that

83

A 2025 review that was published

synthesized a lot of peer-reviewed

84

research on the neurobiology of grief

85

And they found that grief was not

only a psychological phenomenon

86

But it involves distinct neurological

processing that affects our emotional

87

regulation, our ability to executive

plan and make those higher level

88

decisions and it also affects

our ability to regulate stress

89

When we are experiencing grief

90

neural alterations are observed

in key brain areas associated

91

with emotional processing

92

memory, and attachment, including

the amygdala, hippocampus,

93

and the prefrontal cortex

94

They found that grief

actually changes your brain

95

The amygdala or your brain's threat

detection center goes into overdrive

96

The prefrontal cortex involved

in those higher level decisions

97

rational thought and emotional

regulation is functionally impaired.

98

This is sometimes why decisions

feel impossible during grief

99

and why emotional reactions might

feel way extreme compared to how you

100

would normally respond to something.

101

It can also help explain why

concentrating is so hard.

102

It's not that you're falling apart,

it's just that your brain is genuinely

103

reorganized around the absence

104

A systematic review of neuroimaging

studies published in twenty twenty-five

105

examining the neural correlates of

bereavement found consistent disruptions

106

in emotion regulation, reward processing,

and cognitive control networks with

107

heightened neural reactivity to

grief-related stimuli, particularly

108

in and the anterior cingulate cortex

109

I wanna zone in a little bit on the

reward processing part of that study

110

Because it likely explains something

that you yourself have experienced during

111

grief and can't quite put a name to

112

The way grief affects our reward

processing presents itself in our

113

lives in that activities or social

interactions that we used to previously

114

enjoy, hobbies that we used to previously

enjoy don't feel as fulfilling anymore

115

different foods, socializing and

activities register as slightly flat

116

That's just your reward

network being disrupted by loss

117

So no, grief isn't just an emotion.

118

It's not just sadness It's your entire

nervous system reorganizing around

119

the loss that you just experienced

120

Your brain's threat

center is on high alert

121

The part of your brain that handles

rationality and decision-making is

122

relatively offline compared to your normal

123

And the system that processes

reward and pleasure is disrupted

124

You're not falling apart

125

You're doing one of the most

neurobiologically demanding things your

126

brain is ever required to do Now that's

more of the Western medicine lens.

127

Let's dive into the traditional Chinese

medicine lens and what I learned from Dr.

128

Felice Chan

129

Our Western neuroscience and research

has spent the last decades trying

130

to understand the brain and test

and measure, and a lot of their

131

findings have correlated with some

of what Eastern medicine has just

132

been practicing for years and years

133

Western neuroscience has found chest

heaviness, difficulty breathing

134

this overall contracted feeling

within your body And traditional

135

Chinese medicine has understood all

of these responses centuries ago

136

Not necessarily with brain imaging,

But just with understanding and

137

observation And having a holistic

view on how the body and emotions

138

are not two separate systems, but one

139

So Dr.

140

Felice Chan had posted about grief

being a sensation felt in the lungs,

141

where if you're having difficulty with

breathing or chest heaviness, a lot

142

of the time that's where grief lies.

143

And it really resonated with me because as

I've been experiencing this, I know that I

144

feel that heaviness, that pressure within

my lungs, that difficulty breathing,

145

shallow breathing, labored breathing,

exercise feels a little bit harder.

146

And so her post really resonated with

me, and I wanted to dive into some of the

147

more science-based research behind it.

148

So this is not my expertise.

149

This is something I have learned from Dr.

150

Felice Chan and then had wanted to

dive into a little bit more on the

151

traditional Chinese medicine side of grief

152

So in TCM, every emotion is associated

with a specific organ system.

153

Anger lives in the liver, fear lives

in the kidneys, Joy lives in the

154

heart and grief lives in the lungs

155

Grief is associated with the lungs

and what they call the metal element.

156

The lungs are the body's first line

of defense against the outside world,

157

responsible for circulating qi or

vital energy throughout the body.

158

When we experience loss or sadness,

the lung energy naturally contracts.

159

When grief lingers or goes unexpressed, it

can weaken the lungs and lead to fatigue,

160

low immunity, or shallow breathing

161

I pulled that from a blog on emotions

and TCM from Encircle Acupuncture.

162

But if we think about that for a moment

and think about what grief actually

163

feels like in your body, in my body

164

The heaviness in your chest, the

shallow breathing, the labored

165

breathing at rest, but also a

little bit harder during exercise

166

The sigh, the way that a wave of grief

can physically take your breath away

167

Traditional Chinese medicine just

named that lung grief connection

168

centuries before we had imaging machines

169

And the Western research on griefs

170

physiological effects on breathing

and immunity and chest heaviness

171

mirrors a lot of the things that TCM

has taught for millennia and millennia

172

This is what I think is really

cool, is that there are multiple

173

pathways to the same result where

we are seeing some of these things

174

on imaging studies and utilizing

175

highly controlled ways of researching

the brain and grief and emotions.

176

And TCM has been practiced for

thousands of years and has noted some

177

of the changes that Western medicine

is now seeing in their research.

178

So I like that we're able to come

to the same conclusion from maybe

179

two separate lenses of thinking.

180

So here's another little summary from a

article called Understanding Grief with

181

Chinese Medicine: Lung and Letting Go.

182

And I'll leave all of the links to all

of these resources in the show notes

183

below if you wanna take a look, both the

more Western medicine research and the

184

TCM blogs and articles and research that

I'm getting some of these excerpts from.

185

In Chinese medicine, grief is assigned

to the metal element, which stands for

186

structure, clarity, and letting go.

187

The lung is described as the organ of

exchange, of farewell, and of dignity.

188

It receives what is fresh and

gives back what has been used up.

189

Grief belongs to the lungs because it

is one of the few emotions that does not

190

discharge outwardly, but sinks inward.

191

Grief contracts qi.

192

It slows, constricts, holds.

193

And when grief cannot be

felt or expressed, when it is

194

suppressed, rationalized, or

pushed through, TCM describes

195

this as stagnation of the lung qi

196

It might include a feeling of a lump

in the throat, difficulty swallowing,

197

a feeling of oppression or distension

in the chest, slight breathlessness,

198

sighing, sadness, and a depressed mood

199

And although this isn't my expertise

and I'm getting all of this from people

200

who are, I think it's just this really

validating experience going through my

201

own grief journey that there are things

happening within my brain and there

202

are things happening within my body, no

matter the lens that I look at it with.

203

And sometimes I can just have better

language to explain what I'm going through

204

if I look at these two separate lenses

205

And having TCM and Dr.

206

Felice Chan make that connection between

grief and the lungs really helped

207

validating my own physicality of where I'm

feeling that grief experience in my chest

208

A 2025 case report published in a

peer-reviewed psychiatry journal

209

explored the relationship between

profound grief and pulmonary function

210

Noting that TCM describes correlations

between mental states and physical

211

organs, specifically identifying grief

and sadness as correlated to the lung,

212

and that TCM informs that psychological

issues can manifest as physiological

213

dysfunction in the related organs.

214

Here's one of the things that I also love

the most about the TCM approach to grief

215

And something Dr.

216

Felice Chan touched on in

her episode almost a year ago

217

Western medicine tends to

ask, how do we resolve grief?

218

move through it and get to the other side

219

TCM asks, "What do you need

to be able to breathe again?

220

If you truly have this stagnation

in your body, what can we do

221

to help that flow resume?"

222

We're not necessarily

trying to get rid of grief

223

We're trying to restore that flow and

give that lung qi somewhere to move

224

So how does TCM approach

treatment for grief?

225

They view breathing as medicine,

which as a PT and especially a

226

pelvic floor PT, this is huge.

227

I also view breathing as medicine

and a lot of other things, but

228

they view breathing as medicine

229

practices that promote healthy breathing

230

are considered essential

for the processing of grief

231

Deep breathing and meditation can help

improve lung capacity improve qi flow

232

and release emotional stress

233

On the Western medicine side of

things, diaphragmatic breathing,

234

that really deep 360 degree umbrella

breath, that full exhale has also

235

been shown to be one of the best ways

to tap into that parasympathetic,

236

that rest, digest vagal tone

237

I'm picturing that handshake emoji

where it's like TCM and Western

238

medicine just like handshaking

saying, "We both got this."

239

TCM also

240

Heavily use-- heavily utilizes

fuel as medicine, specifically

241

warming foods and nourishment

242

In TCM, certain foods are found

specifically beneficial for grief

243

White-colored foods, pears, radishes,

daikon align with the metal element

244

and help nourish lung function.

245

Staying well-hydrated with warm

fluids like herbal teas and soups

246

is also recommended as the metal

element is associated with dryness

247

Perhaps the most important thing

TCM offers around grief isn't

248

an herb or an acupuncture point.

249

It's more of a permission structure

The metal element's lesson is in

250

letting go But you can't let go of

something unless you've fully held it

251

TCM doesn't rush grief.

252

It asks the body to breathe through it

253

And in a culture that is deeply

uncomfortable with sitting in that loss

254

That permission of allowing it to just be

might be one of the best treatments for

255

those of us who are experiencing grief

256

One of my favorite quotes, and I

forget where I read it, it's almost

257

seems like a Winnie-the-Pooh quote,

but it talks about how grief is like

258

a rock in your pocket, and you wonder

if that grief is ever gonna go away

259

or that sensation is ever going away.

260

And what happens is you just

get stronger dealing with it.

261

So I view TCM with that picture

in mind, where you have this

262

possible rock in your pocket, and

it feels really heavy at first.

263

But the more you sit with it, the more you

work with it, the more you let it become a

264

part of you and that process of allowing,

the stronger you get to carry it.

265

It's not that the rock lightens or

that the rock gets smaller, it's just

266

that you get stronger handling it

267

So although the TCM lens and the Western

medicine lens might speak different

268

languages I find it very comforting

that they arrive at the same conclusion

269

and give language to something that

I think a lot of us have experienced.

270

So how does grief actually affect our

immunity and our hormonal response?

271

Have you ever noticed that you get

sick after something hard happens?

272

Or that your body feels physically heavy

273

in a way that has nothing

to do with being tired

274

in that same research published in

twenty twenty-five, that review of

275

peer-reviewed research, they found that

hormonal dysregulation, specifically

276

elevated cortisol and oxytocin

levels, play a significant role in

277

the physiological response to grief.

278

Cortisol elevation is particularly

well documented when it comes to grief

279

studies of bereaved spouses

280

show that cortisol levels rise

and remain elevated for the

281

first six months of bereavement

282

And when the death was unexpected,

cortisol levels were even higher.

283

What makes me pause on this study

is I wonder had someone known that

284

the passing of their loved one was

coming soon, if their cortisol levels

285

were higher even before the passing.

286

So I wonder if it's not necessarily

the length of time after someone

287

passed away, but the whole process.

288

Because people can grieve

while someone is still living,

289

especially if that person is just

290

taking the time to go through the

process of their bodies shutting down

291

This is the part I wanna make special

note of, but chronically elevated cortisol

292

is the problem, not cortisol in general.

293

Cor- chronically elevated or

chronically depressed cortisol.

294

We want those nice peaks

and valleys throughout.

295

We don't want it to be chronically

one way or chronically the other.

296

So cortisol is not the bad guy.

297

I call her the misunderstood mean girl.

298

But when we experience grief, that

baseline level might elevate, which can

299

have a lot of the downstream hormonal

effects that elevated cortisol and

300

elevated stress has on our bodies

301

Chronically elevated cortisol

affects our immune function, sleep

302

quality, inflammation and in women

specifically, our hormonal balance

303

If you think back to our spring

cleaning liver episode, there is a

304

relationship between cortisol and estrogen

305

sustained cortisol elevation

disrupts the hormonal environment

306

of the menstrual cycle

307

Which is why many women notice changes

in their menstrual cycle during

308

periods of intense stress or grief

309

A review published in Psychosomatic

Medicine examining 41 years of research on

310

bereavement and immune function found that

bereaved people demonstrate higher levels

311

of systemic inflammation, maladaptive

immune cell gene expression, and lower

312

antibody response to vaccinations

compared to non-bereaved peers.

313

when the immune system is suppressed

during grief inflammation increases.

314

And when inflammation increases

musculoskeletal pain, joint pain, fatigue

315

and other physical symptoms can

all be added to the grief process

316

So the chest tightness, the

heaviness in the limbs The headaches,

317

the digestive disruption the

menstrual cycle irregularities

318

The way your whole body might

feel like you're moving through

319

something so thick and viscous

320

These are the measurable

physiological consequences

321

of one of the most stressful experiences

the human body can experience

322

So when people say losing their

loved one broke their heart,

323

they're not entirely wrong

324

Grief elevates stress hormones

325

suppresses the immune system

drives systemic inflammation and

326

disrupts your hormonal regulation

327

The physical symptoms

of grief are very real

328

And as your body processes it all,

just remember that it's doing an

329

enormous task, one of the most

physiologically demanding tasks that

330

the brain and body can go through

331

Now, most of this research has

been done on people who have lost a

332

spouse, but I think it can be applied

to a lot of us who lose a loved

333

one who we are super close with.

334

There is different forms of love and

connection amongst spouses, amongst

335

family members, amongst siblings, amongst

friends, and just because you might

336

be experiencing some of these things

when you have lost someone who is not a

337

spouse does not make it any less real.

338

One of the most universal complaints

of grief is disrupted sleep And it's

339

also one of the least talked about.

340

Honestly, I think grief in

general is not very talked about.

341

I have not listened to a

single podcast on grief.

342

So if this is your first, welcome.

343

This is also my first of,

presenting this information and

344

diving into the science behind it.

345

But sleep is one of the most common

complaints, and disrupted sleep is one

346

of the most common complaints of grief

347

A systematic review of sleep disturbances

and bereavement found a strong association

348

between grief intensity and sleep

problems, with higher grief intensity

349

consistently associated with more

frequent and severe sleep difficulties.

350

Around eighty percent of

people with complicated grief

351

experienced longer-term poor sleep

352

And unfortunately, this is one of

those cyclical things where Grief

353

disrupts sleep, but a lack of sleep

also makes grief harder to process.

354

Research found that those who had

persistent sleep challenges before

355

losing someone were at higher risk

for developing complicated grief after

356

loss, and bereaved college students

who experienced insomnia showed more

357

severe symptoms of complicated grief

than those whose sleep wasn't disrupted

358

If you listened back to our

glymphatic episode, I'll leave

359

all of the links to all of these

episodes that I'm mentioning, the Dr.

360

Felice Jan one, the liver

episode, the glymphatic episode.

361

But if you listen to our

glymphatic episode, you already

362

know that REM sleep is when the

brain processes emotional memory

363

And the glymphatic system does much of

its cleaning work, which is like the

364

cleansing system for the brain And go

figure, grief specifically disrupts this

365

REM part of our sleep cycle When REM sleep

is disrupted, whether by insomnia or grief

366

emotional memory

reconsolidation is impaired

367

In the context of grief, insufficient

REM sleep can interfere with the brain's

368

ability to integrate the reality of loss

369

Aspects of the loss may

370

remain emotionally unprocessed

371

because of this poor sleep

372

So grief and sleep have a

complicated relationship.

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Grief disrupts our sleep, and

disrupted sleep affects our grief

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and our ability to process grief

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Now, what can actually help grief?

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And let's be very clear about this.

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It's not a problem that has to be solved.

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It's a process that we need

to go through and experience.

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We've talked about how TCM

prioritizes this process of allowing

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grief to sit with us, sit within

us, and processing it that way.

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We've talked about how We need to

understand the full loss experience,

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and if we have disrupted sleep, we

don't necessarily fully process it.

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So it's not this problem that needs

to be solved or this experience that

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needs to be rushed through, but there

are some things that we can do to help

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us process that grief in a healthy way

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First action, protect your sleep.

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As we talked about, sleep and

grief have a complex relationship,

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and both impact the other.

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So the more we can prioritize sleep

and have healthy sleep hygiene,

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sleep environment, the better.

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Really working to limit that blue light

exposure right before you go to bed

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and remembering that circadian rhythm

is influenced not only at night, but

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also with the morning sunlight viewing.

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So if you're having trouble sleeping,

we've done I think a few episodes

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on sleep, definitely two when we

talk about cleaning up our sleep

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hygiene and what that entails.

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But in order to get a good

night's sleep, we have to have

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a good waking routine as well.

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So if you're someone who is experiencing

a lot of disrupted sleep because of grief

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really trying to be a little

bit more disciplined in the

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routines that can help that sleep.

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So getting morning sunlight, limiting

blue light in the evening, alcohol,

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limiting alcohol and those other sort

of later food and drinks, caffeine

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that might affect your sleep later on

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Research has found that protecting

sleep is one of the most

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clinically important things

a grieving person can do

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keeping a consistent sleep and wake

time, reducing blue light exposure,

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morning sunlight, reducing alcohol

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and creating a sleep environment that

feels very restful are all some of the

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tips to help protect your sleep Action

item number two, move your body.

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A 2021 systematic review published

in Sports Medicine examined physical

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activity As a support for grief outcomes

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in bereaved individuals found evidence

that physical activity can provide benefit

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for the physical health and psychological

well-being of those who have been bereaved

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It's not about fitness, it's not about

improving strength or flexibility

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or cardiovascular endurance.

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It's more of an outlet

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and giving your nervous system a way to

discharge some of that extra cortisol and

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stress hormones that grief might generate

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Things like walking,

yoga, gentle movement.

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They're not necessarily

performative, they're prescriptive

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Action number three, lean

into real connection.

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Research highlights the

role that oxytocin plays

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and the physiological response

to grief And oxytocin is released

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through genuine social connection

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physical touch and face-to-face

interaction with people that are

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safe, not just random people.

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You want to feel supported when you are

using social interaction as a way to

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help with your grief this is the biology

underneath the instinct to be with

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people when you're experiencing grief

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you're not just seeking comfort,

You're likely regulating your nervous

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system with these oxytocin-inducing

activities and interactions

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Being with people who don't require

you to explain yourself or perform

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has measurable physiological

benefits on your stress hormones

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Action number four, breathe intentionally

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Connecting back to what TCM has taught

for centuries, grief and the lungs

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go hand in hand Deep, intentional

diaphragmatic breathing and meditation

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are two of the best things we can do to

breathe intentionally to help us process

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our grief, not only psychologically

and how our nervous system is able

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to regulate, but also physically

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And lastly, we can tie it back to

the TCM, the process of allowing,

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but the permission to be inefficient.

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Your brain is trying to process things.

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It's not functioning at 100% like it

might when you are not going through this

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grieving process, and giving yourself that

grace is one of the best things you can do

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Before we close, I wanna talk about a few

things that have really helped me with my

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own grief journey and processing grief.

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I listen to Father Mike on

Ascension Press, I think, Sunday

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Homilies with Father Mike.

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It's a podcast, but he is a

Catholic priest who records

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his homilies every week.

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And leading up to the loss of

my loved one, he had a lot of

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these very beneficial episodes.

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So I'll leave the link to

some of those episodes below.

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But a few of the things that really helped

me and are continuing to help me is the

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phrase, especially when this loved one

of mine had passed away, he had talked

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about that joy shared is joy multiplied,

and grief shared is grief divided.

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So that ties back into the

emotional processing and the social

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connection needed during grief.

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I remember the last time I lost someone

super important and impactful in my life.

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I think sharing grief with other

people is one of the best things

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you can do, and being even in the

same house as people also grieving

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the same person is one of the most

healing things that I've experienced

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and have continued to experience

during this own sort of grief process.

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But I really loved what he said,

that joy shared is joy multiplied,

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and grief shared is grief divided.

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It makes it a little easier to bear

One of the other things that he talked

468

about was this eternal perspective,

and I found that throughout this whole

469

process, I know that I have hope that this

loved one of mine is in a better place.

470

She has gone to her eternal home, and

as a Christian, I strongly believe

471

that she is in a much better place

than we can ever imagine here on Earth.

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And Father Mike had done an episode a

while back that talked about how someone

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should try and think about grief and

losing someone, and he said a lot of the

474

times we can be tempted to grieve what

that person might miss here on Earth, the

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person that has gone into eternal life.

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We might be tempted to say, " Oh, I

wish so and so were here for this."

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"I wish I could have experienced

this with this person."

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And it really comforted me 'cause he was

saying that it's okay to miss that person

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But we shouldn't

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think about what that person

is missing here on Earth.

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Since what they are experiencing in

heaven is so much better, and what

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they are experiencing there makes

their life completely more full,

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their soul completely more full.

484

And that phrase has really

helped because it might sound a

485

little heartless to think, "Oh,

why can't we think about that?"

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Why can't I think about

what that person is missing?

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My sister's wedding last weekend

is one of those examples.

488

I know my sister was probably thinking,

" Gosh, I wish this person was here,"

489

But for me, it's been very comforting

to have that perspective and know that

490

Whatever I think that person is

missing here on Earth, it is nothing

491

compared to eternal life and what

she's experiencing right now.

492

So I think from the outside, that

perspective can sound a little

493

heartless, but from someone

494

who is grieving, it is so comforting

to catch myself whenever I try and

495

think about that and say no, Kelsey,

that is-- You can miss the person,

496

but you can't think about what that

person is missing here on Earth."

497

Because they're experiencing

so much greater in heaven

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So those are just two of the things,

I guess two of the main things

499

that I've been repeating to myself.

500

I have leaned heavily on my faith, and

so if you've made it this far, if you are

501

also a faithful person and a Christian,

I hope those things resonate with you.

502

I'd love for you guys to share

with me anything that's also helped

503

you if you are going through a

grief journey or if you have.

504

I've also heard just being able to talk

about the person and share memories, all

505

of that has been so helpful, and I think

that partly relates to that grief shared

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is grief divided, where we are able to

507

celebrate the life that someone lived.

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So thank you guys for joining me with

this harder episode, to talk about.

509

But I hope you guys learned

a lot about grief, just like

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I learned a lot about grief.

511

And again, if you are going

through your own grief journey,

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I am right there with you.

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If you're listening to this later, I hope

a lot of these tips and reasonings for

514

things really help you as you process

the loss of a loved one or your own grief

515

Due to whatever circumstance in your life.

516

But thank you guys for joining me.

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I'll leave all the links to all of the

research articles and episodes below.

518

But I hope you guys enjoyed this episode,

and I'll see you guys again on the

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next episode of Wellness Fixes the Pod.