You already know what you’re capable of.

So why do you keep hesitating, shrinking, or talking yourself out of the very things you want?

In this note, Yaya breaks down the real reason so many talented, intelligent, capable women stay stuck, and it’s not a lack of ability. It’s the quiet self-talk that convinces you to wait, second-guess, or play small right before you take the leap.

Inside this note, we talk about:

• how self-talk silently blocks your confidence

• why knowing the truth isn’t enough if you don’t act on it

• the difference between fear and intuition

• how to interrupt the spiral before you abandon yourself

• what it actually takes to stop shrinking and move forward

This is not about becoming louder, bolder, or more aggressive. It’s about stopping the inner conversation that keeps you from showing up as the woman you already are.

If this note resonated with you, this is your sign to stop hiding.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

And don’t forget to follow Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.

Free Confidence Kit

If this episode resonated, start here.

The Confidence Kit helps you stop spiraling, rebuild self-trust, and move forward with clarity.

🔗 Link

Work with me

If you’re done trying to figure this out alone, you can apply to work with me.

🔗 Coaching Application

Subscribe to the Newsletter

Subscribe to the She's Limitless Insider: expanded confidence pep talks, mindset tips, and real tools for bold women.

🔗 Subscribe here

Hey, girl.

Hey.

Welcome back to Notes to Her, the daily pep talk.

I'm Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach, here to help you stop shrinking, stop overthinking, and stop standing in your own way.

If you listen to the last note, we talked about honesty and calling out the lies that you tell yourself that will keep you stuck.

So today we're going to talk about what happens after the truth.

Because knowing the truth doesn't change your life if you keep talking yourself out of acting on it.

Now, if you ever felt like you were the only thing standing in between you and the like you want, this note is for you.

I know a lot of talented women and you probably do too.

Yourself included.

Highly capable, smart as hell, creative, thoughtful, driven.

But a lot of them have something in common.

They move like they are waiting for permission.

They second guess ideas that are actually solid, they downplay themselves in rooms that they belong in, and they talk themselves out of opportunities before anyone else ever says no.

And it doesn't sound dramatic.

It sounds reasonable.

When you're doing this, it sounds like, I'll wait until I'm more prepared.

I don't want to embarrass myself.

I'm probably overthinking this or I'll do it later.

But what's really happening is this.

You are having conversations with yourself that quietly talk you out of your own greatness.

Talking yourself out of greatness isn't always loud self doubt.

Sometimes it looks like convincing yourself not to go to a networking event.

Choosing comfort over growth and calling it being realistic.

Avoiding hard conversations even though it's necessary, Quitting before you start so that you don't have to risk failure.

And telling yourself, I'm fine when you actually are just scared.

And here's what I want to say to you.

Ever so gently, your self talk shapes your standards.

When you constantly tell yourself, why bother?

What's the point?

Or I'll never stick with this anyways.

You lower the bar on your own life, not because you're incapable, but because your mind has learned how to keep you safe instead of expanded.

Now your brain isn't trying to sabotage you, it's trying to protect you.

Negative self talk often comes from old experiences being criticized, dismissed, overlooked, or made to feel small.

So your mind has learned a shortcut.

It says, I'll talk myself out of it first and then I won't be disappointed.

But protection that keeps you stuck isn't protection.

It's limitation.

And over time, those thoughts don't just pass through, they become beliefs.

Beliefs about what you deserve what you're capable of and what's realistic for you.

Here's where the shift starts.

You don't have to jump straight to positive affirmations if that feels fake.

You start by interrupting the spiral.

So when a thought comes up like I'll never be able to do this, you pause and ask, is this true or is this familiar?

When your mind says there's no point in trying, you respond with, trying doesn't have to mean winning, it means showing up.

You don't bully yourself into confidence.

You build it by changing how you talk to yourself in the moment.

That's how you move from self doubt to self trust.

Trust.

Ask yourself, would you ever speak to someone you love the way that you speak to yourself?

You will probably never tell your friend that she's stupid for trying.

You would never tell her to sit down and stop dreaming.

You wouldn't convince her that she's asking for too much.

So why is it okay when you do it to you?

You don't need harsher discipline.

You need better self support.

Because the woman that you're becoming cannot be led by a voice that constantly doubts her.

So here's what I want you to take with you today.

Stop asking, am I good enough yet?

And then start asking, what would happen if I stop talking myself out of trying.

You don't need to silence fear.

You just need to stop letting it make your decisions.

You're not behind, you're not incapable.

You're just ready for a new inner conversation.

And if this note hits hard, share it with somebody else that needs to hear this too.

Because greatness doesn't require permission.

It requires courage.

And listen.

If this note made you realize how often you talk yourself out of showing up, how many times you minimize your voice, your ideas and your presence, then this is your next step.

Because confidence doesn't grow in hiding.

It grows when you practice being seen safely, intentionally and support it.

And that is exactly why I am co hosting a seven day challenge starting January 19th called Show up and Shine.

For seven days, we're going to be working on stopping the self sabotage, quieting the inner critic, and showing up with confidence in your voice and your style and also learning how to take up space without feeling fake or forced.

You don't need to be louder.

You don't need to be perfect.

You just need to stop talking yourself out of being visible.

So if this episode felt like a mirror, then this challenge is going to be your practice.

The link to join the challenge is going to be in the show.

Notes come do this with us?

Because you were not meant to watch from the sidelines anymore, Sam.