I felt disgusted watching a woman touch another woman's breasts on television. That surprised me - I host a podcast about sexual freedom.

This episode starts with a documentary called Bang My Box, about Robin Byrd, who ran her own uncensored show on New York public access television starting in 1977. Watching clips of her fully, joyfully unashamed, something in me recoiled. Not arousal. Disgust. And I had to sit with why.

That question sent me into research I didn't expect - the birth control pill, a Supreme Court case about a banned 1748 novel called Fanny Hill, and the Stonewall riots - trying to understand what actually made an era of that much freedom possible. Then into Robin Byrd's own story: a hard childhood, running away at thirteen, and building a freedom nobody handed her.

Somewhere in the middle of it, I ended up telling you something I haven't said publicly before: I identify as bisexual, and I'm not fully out to the people closest to me. This episode is about the guard standing at both those doors - the one around my arousal, and the one around who I actually am - and a comment a friend made about gay culture that I still haven't been able to shake.

I don't have this resolved. I don't think I'm supposed to yet.

What's the disgust in you protecting?