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18 Summers With Kids | Series 1.5
Episode 515th February 2021 • Enjoy More 30s: Family Finance • Joseph P. Okaly
00:00:00 00:08:35

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Shownotes

Time With Children is Fleeting, Learn How to Make it Count!

  • Time with kids is limited (00:30)
  • Bucket lists (03:27)
  • Discussions with your spouse (06:43)

Quote for the episode: "What are the things that I want to do with my kids before they go off to college- before they start making their own path and their own decisions?”

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Transcripts

Joseph Okaly:

Welcome to the Enjoy More 30s: Family Finance

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podcast, the only podcast dedicated to making life more

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enjoyable for young families by hitting on the financial topics

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that tend to weigh on us, stress us out and distract our focus

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from simply enjoying life.

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Hello, and welcome to the Enjoy More 30s: Family Finance

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podcast. Today is the fifth overall episode in our initial

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series, "Your Money Mindset", and it's titled "18 Summers With

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Kids". So what we're going to cover today is what you need to

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know about the relatively short time we have with our kids, and

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what you can do to make sure you're getting the most out of

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it. I don't know if you've ever come across a poem before that's

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called "The Last Time" poem. If you're wanting to think about

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your kids growing up too fast, and just flat out crying, it's a

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it's a really great one. It speaks to how whether it's

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putting our child to bed, or washing their face, or reading

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them a bedtime story, there's always going to be a last time

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we're going to get to do it. And the thing is, we won't ever know

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when that last time is. You know, our kids aren't going to

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say, "Hey Mom, tomorrow's gonna be the last time I want you to

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read me a bedtime story." You're just gonna walk in and try to

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read them a story, and they're not gonna want it. And I

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remember when I told my mom I didn't want her to sing me

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bedtime songs anymore, you know, because I was too old and mature

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at probably the age of seven or something like that. And now I

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sing those same songs to my children, and the thought of my

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daughter doing that to me, now, is pretty crushing. I know, it's

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gonna come at some point, and that means that she's growing up

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and doing everything that she needs to do. However, whenever

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it does happen, it's going to be something that I really miss,

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and I'll wish that I could have savored the last time that I got

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to do that a little bit more.

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So, what do you need to know? I'm an advisor, as you know, and

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my job is supposed to just get people to, you know, save money,

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right? And that's not really how I look at it, as you should

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probably see by this point in the series. It's about having

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you be able to spend as much time enjoying life and making

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life as enjoyable as it is to you, however you may define

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that. And that's really what my job is. All these investments,

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insurance and everything else- these are just the tools that I

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have at my disposal to try to help everybody do that.

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When it comes to our children, if you think about it, we only

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really have 18 summers with them. After that they're off at

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college, they're maybe working during the summers, things of

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that nature, so we have a relatively limited time. My

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daughter is four right now, so I already am four of my 18 summers

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in; doesn't feel like that- it's gone really, really quickly. And

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I want to make sure that I'm planning vacations and all that

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stuff, and that's why the previous episodes are so vital.

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If I know what track I'm on, and I know what I have to do to

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protect it, I don't have to waste any mental energy on any

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of those previous unknowns. And now I know how much extra that I

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have for living.

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So what you can do. What I would recommend is making your 18

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summers bucket list. Now, we've probably all heard of bucket

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lists before and they're generally, you know, "before you

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die I want to do..." and that may be you know, skydiving or a

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trip to Hawaii or whatever it might be. However, that bucket

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list kind of approach can actually be pretty helpful for

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us today. What are the things that I want to do with my kids

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before they go off to college, before they start making their

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own path and their own decisions? Maybe it's a pool,

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like we said, vacations, etc. You know, if we set a list, then

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we have a much better chance of actually achieving it. And the

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timeframe there, you know, a kid at one is different than a kid

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that's at 18 or 19. And so if you have multiple kids, how

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those time frames overlap, can give you an idea of, you know,

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how much of a window do I have to do that hiking trip, or that

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trip to Disney before they feel like they're too old for it or

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anything like that. As you probably can tell, I'm a big

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Disney fan and so Disney's kind of always on Lauren and I's

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list. But whatever that is, if you have a conversation with

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your spouse, and you go through kind of what are the things that

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when I'm, you know, older and my kids are grown up, what are the

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things that I'm going to look back on and say like "wow, that

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was really fantastic- that was a really, really fun time, a fun

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event." I can give you a personal example of something

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that kind of came about this last year in 2020. With

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everything everybody was going through, we couldn't have our

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normal large get together. We usually go to my side and see 50

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people, we go to Lauren's side and see another 50 people- and

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we weren't able to do that this year. And what we decided to do

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instead, is we rented out an Airbnb up in New York State. It

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was this beautiful, beautiful home that was restored, an old

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farmhouse; tall ceilings, and very, very unique house. And it

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had enough bedrooms for our family, and then my mother and

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Lauren's parents, to kind of all stay. And we had a Thanksgiving

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that was kind of an overnight Thanksgiving stay. And it was

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really, really great and really special. And with the kids so

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young, they were really excited to see their grandparents there,

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and it was fantastic. It's something that we really think

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we will always remember- us and our parents, and even the kids.

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And that's the kind of thing to be thinking about. How can we

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make memories like that, in the right time where the kids fit

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that kind of an activity? If my kids were 16 and 18, they may

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not get as much of a kick out of, "Hey, you know, we're having

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a giant sleepover with our grandparents." So it was pretty

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good for the fit for us today. So again, that's the kind of

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thought process, what can we do that we want to get accomplished

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so that we can look back on it with fond memories- things that

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nobody will ever kind of forget, and though will mean a lot to

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us.

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The second thing, what you can do, if you haven't taken any

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action yet, re-listen to the first number of episodes and

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again, discuss them with your spouse. If you're taking steps

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forward to remove some of these anxiety items, again, we don't

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want to just be checking boxes for the sake of checking boxes-

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checking off that we did something more with our savings,

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or that we got life insurance. We want to be taking action that

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relieves anxiety and frees us up to be able to enjoy today more

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so than we were able to yesterday when those things were

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weighing on us. So quick summation- make sure that you're

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making a list- a bucket list- discuss it with your spouse, and

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really take the time to look at, "hey, this is a limited window,

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let's make the most of it with our kids and the time that we

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have and the things that we really want to make sure that we

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do."

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As always, thanks so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed this

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episode, please make sure to review us on Apple podcasts or

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wherever you listen. There are literally millions of young

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American families out there I'm trying to reach and help just

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like you. The next episode coming up is titled,

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"Investments Should Be Boring", which may seem like a little bit

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of a weird title, but it's going to go into some of the mindset

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items of how we should be approaching investments, and how

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we shouldn't. So thanks as always for tuning in and I'll

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talk to you again soon.

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The conversations on this show are

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Joe's opinions and provided for general information purposes

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only. They do not constitute accounting, legal, tax or other

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professional advice for your specific situation. You should

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always seek appropriate advice from a financial advisor,

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accountant, lawyer or other professional before acting upon

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any content or information found here first. Joe is affiliated

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with New Horizons Wealth Management LLC, a branch office

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of TFS securities Inc and TFS advisory services and sec

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registered investment advisor member FINRA/SIPC.

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