⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses dating violence / intimate partner violence, sexual violence, and PTSD.

Healing out loud starts here, radiant icons.

In today’s Tea Time sesh, Amanda gets real about a moment that shifted her healing journey—a PTSD flashback that left her feeling completely disconnected from her body.

What started as a normal heels dance class quickly turned into something deeper- a realization of how much trauma can live in the body, and how hard it can be to feel safe within yourself again.

Amanda opens up about how her past experiences have shaped her sense of safety, trust, and self-connection—and what it’s looked like to slowly rebuild that relationship with her body. She shares the tools that have helped her begin to come home to herself again.

Because this isn’t about “fixing” yourself—it’s about learning to feel safe in your body again.

No pressure. No timelines. No pretending.

Just freedom, trust, and healing out loud—on your terms.

🎧 Press play and take the first step back to yourself 💌

Amanda’s Healing Recs & Resources:

The Courage To Heal by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis

RAINN

Day One New York

Victim Service Center of Central Florida

Affirmation Work

Iconic Episode References:

Hot & Healing: How To Turn Pain Into Power

Connect with Amanda:

Follow Amanda's DTBI Journey!

Shop the "Own Your Sexy" Collection!

Stream the Radiant Reign Era Playlist!

Secure your spot for our next Empowerment Event!

Discover your iconic signature scent with Oakcha!

Got a question for Amanda or a topic you'd love to hear discussed on a future episode? Submit your question to the "Dare To Be Iconic Hotline" today!

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome to Dare To Be Iconic

01:25 Inside Amanda’s Healing Journey with IPV & SV

04:57 The Mind & Body Connection within PTSD

17:25 How To Find Safety In Your Body

18:15 Body Care Routine

20:58 Fueling Your Body

23:16 Group Movement Healing

27:45 Mirror Affirmations

28:24 Dance Like Nobody's Watching

29:36 Own Your Sexy Collection

33:50 See you next week!

What's up, Radiant icons and welcome back to Dare to Be

2

Iconic, the podcast made for icons

who are daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli, and for

today's Tea Time sesh, we are spilling

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the tea on how to find safety in your

body and how to reconnect with it.

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We are basically learning

how to live in our bodies.

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I do wanna note before we spill the

piping hot tea on this very subject

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manner that today's episode will be

mentioning PTSD, sexual assault and Sexual

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Violence, and intimate partner violence.

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I understand that these topics could

be triggering to some radiant icons out

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there who are listening to this episode.

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So please listen to this episode with

care and do what is right for you.

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If that means pausing this episode

and coming back to it later on your

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healing journey, or if that means

just pressing stop and never coming

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back to it, I want you to do what

is best for you in this moment.

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And so with that radiant icons, please

listen to this episode with care.

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Honestly, radiant icons.

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This episode is one that means so much

to me because of where I am currently

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in my life on my healing journey.

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As most of you know, back in February,

on February 4th, to be exact, I shared

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publicly for the first time ever that

when I was 18 years old, I was in a

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dating violence relationship, also known

as intimate partner violence that was

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specifically discussed in the episode, Hot

& Healing: How To Turn Your Pain Into Power.

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I know back then in that episode,

I said this is one of the scariest

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things I've ever had to do is to

share my truth about dating violence.

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Well, I think this one also is pretty,

pretty damn scary too for me as well.

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There are so many things that are

lumped into intimate partner violence,

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and for me, the type of violence that

I experienced was sexual violence.

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It's still hard to verbalize

at times the sexual trauma I

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experienced in that relationship,

especially with that relationship

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being my first relationship ever.

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Um, and this topic that we are spilling

the tea on today how to basically

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learn how to live in your body.

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I know a lot of sexual assault

survivors, sexual violence survivors

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deal with this specific topic.

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It's, it's really fucking hard, right?

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Like it's really fucking hard to learn

how to find safety in your body and

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reconnect with it and learn how to live

in it when your body, your home, 'cause

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I believe our bodies are our homes has

been violated on top of everything else

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that was violated in those situations

or in those relationships, right?

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Your body, your home, was also violated.

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And that has been something that I've

really been struggling with a lot.

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I.

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That's why I go to heels class.

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That's why I really focus on movement

because I really, really am determined

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this year to focus on reconnecting,

not only with myself and owning my

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truth, but reconnecting with my body

because my body was violated against my

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will by someone that I trusted, right?

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And so today's Tea Time Sesh is just

dedicated to everything I have learned

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in this journey of healing from intimate

partner violence and sexual violence.

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And this month is Sexual

Assault Awareness Month.

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For those of you who don't know, April

is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and

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I thought it was very fitting to not

only own my truth this month and have

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the courage to heal out loud about

this and say it, but to also share

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what I have learned on this journey

because I know that I am not alone.

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Are you ready, radiant icons?

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Because your tea time

sesh is starting now.

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I never thought that I would

share the story I'm about to share

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with you guys, because honestly,

I'm still a little embarrassed.

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And I still hold some shame,

but I shouldn't be shameful or

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embarrassed that I experienced

a flashback in a public place.

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I shouldn't hold shame for

someone else's actions that I

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now have to deal with, right?

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I, I shouldn't be feeling all these

emotions, but I did when I experienced a

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flashback the other day in my dance class.

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That has never happened to me before,

ever, because dance is my safe space.

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I mean, I talk about heels dance

all the time on this podcast.

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It's my one place where I really

have been able to reconnect with

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my body and own my sexy and just

be one with myself and learn how to

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live in it because it's really hard.

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I didn't think I was gonna cry.

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It's really hard to live in your body.

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After your body, your home

has been violated by someone

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you trusted in a relationship.

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It's so hard to live in your body when

all it's ever experienced is pain at

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the hands of someone that you trusted.

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You know, that really affects your mind.

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You know, it really affects your psyche.

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Some days, I don't know

how I face the world.

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I really don't, and I know

I'm not alone in this feeling.

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But damn, at times I just feel like the

flashbacks that I do experience or the

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intrusive thoughts of my abuse or of my

assaults are just gonna like run my life

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and in this particular instance with what

happened at my dance class, I felt so

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hopeless and not hopeful for my future.

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And so, I don't know.

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All I know is that I hope by sharing

this I can help someone else on their

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journey of reconnecting with their body.

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And so, we all know I

love my heels Wednesdays.

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It is the one thing in my

life that I am always looking

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forward to every single week.

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I love heels wednesdays, I

know you guys love heels.

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Wednesdays.

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It is honestly my

favorite part of the week.

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It is the one time week that is dedicated

not only for me time, but also for me to

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be realigned and reconnect with my body.

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It's where I find safety in it, because

I can do certain moves, I can experiment

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with these sexy vibes and own my sexy.

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I can just truly be free and be me.

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And the other day I was in the second

half of my two hour block for my heels

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classes and I was so excited because the

second block is always the one that is

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a little bit more challenging for me.

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The instructor lover to pieces, but

she kicks my ass every single week

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'cause I never know what to expect.

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And that is great because you never

wanna be stagnant as a dancer, but

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also as an individual, it really

pushes me outside of my comfort zone.

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And also it allows me

to turn my brain off.

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My brain is so busy with noise and being

in dance, but specifically that second

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block of dance allows me to truly leave

everything at the door and just dance.

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And you know, it was only the

first couple minutes into class and

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something was mentioned in a lyric.

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And you know, the lyrics in these

heels, dance songs, you know,

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they, they're sexually explicit.

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And usually it doesn't bother me.

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Like usually, you know, nothing comes up.

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I'm just like feeling myself in my body.

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But for some instance, it

triggered something for me.

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And when I say something,

I mean a flashback.

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I have PTSD from what I experienced in my

dating violence relationship like I do.

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That is something that I will

have for the rest of my life.

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And within PTSD, I get flashbacks.

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Some are stronger than others, and in

that case, I've never experienced before

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where my body actively kept going.

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So like I was actively trying

to learn the choreography while

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my mind was in the flashback.

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So my mind and my body were not aligned.

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They were not connected.

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I was not one because my mind was

back in the past and my body was

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in the present trying to survive.

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It was one of the most intense

experiences of my life.

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And progressively as we got through the

class, it just got harder and harder

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for me to survive, to get through it.

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I couldn't get the choreography because

my mind was somewhere else, right?

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And my body was not connected to my mind.

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So the moves weren't clicking.

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And so there's another added layer

of frustration because I'm currently

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actively in a flashback while I'm

trying to be in tuned and aligned

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with my body and reconnect to it.

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And you know, something happened

towards the middle of class and at

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this point I was like, you know what?

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Like I'm gonna be okay.

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Like even though I keep, keep getting

triggered and the thoughts are

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just keep on coming and the brain

is spinning, I'm gonna be okay.

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You're almost done, right?

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Something happened in the class that drew

attention to me, like all eyes on me.

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That made it a thousand times worse.

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And so I did it one more time 'cause she

called my group up to the front and I

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went to the front, did the damn thing,

and I could feel the tears forming in

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my eyes and I can feel my hands shake.

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And I was like, holy shit,

I need to get outta here.

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Like I need an exit plan.

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I, I can't do it.

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And so I made a beeline to my water.

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I saw my friend Mo and I said,

I'm fighting a flashback.

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And obviously they couldn't hear me

'cause there's music blaring because the

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second group was going on at this point.

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And so I typed it on my phone and I

flashed my phone to 'em and they were

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like, do you need to get out of here?

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I was like, absolutely.

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I've never walked faster out

of a dance class in my life.

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And I've never walked out of a dance

class before in my life until that

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exact moment because I couldn't, I

couldn't hold onto it any longer.

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I couldn't fight it off.

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I had to get.

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For my mental sanity and my mental

health, I had to get the hell out of

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there and do what was best for me.

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I didn't realize how much

trauma my body was held.

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I also didn't realize that we were

nearing a trauma-versary for me, I

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didn't realize that, which makes me more

susceptible to flashbacks or to intrusive

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thoughts or to whatever comes up for me.

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And it was just a horrible combination.

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And when we got outside and I felt the

fresh air, I just was able to release

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everything that was bottling up.

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And you know, it's really important to

have some really good friends that you

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trust when you're going through this.

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You guys, I don't know how I

would've made it out of that moment

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without mo I really do not know.

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I'm so, so grateful for them because

they, they definitely saved me that night.

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Like I really needed someone to

physically get me out of there

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because I couldn't do it myself.

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Because I was also fighting this

embarrassment and shame as well.

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I was fighting this embarrassment

of, oh my God, like why is

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this happening to me here?

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And there's a level of anger in

that, but I'm also so embarrassed

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that this is what's happening to

me and that I just can't get the

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choreo because my mind is not there.

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I felt so much shame because my body

that I'm trying to move and be in tuned

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with, I just can't connect to it because

I feel so disconnected to it right now.

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And that's really hard because I spent

the last couple of months intentionally

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focused on finding safety back in

my body and reconnecting to it.

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That's why I started heels dancing, not

only to learn what sexy means to me and

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express my sensuality and embrace it, but

to also be at one with my body and connect

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to it because again, my body has been

violated and I've never given myself the

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permission to learn how to live with it.

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I never gave myself the freedom

to truly let myself feel

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and be at one with my body.

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I kind of just thought of my body as like

a secondary thing, like, oh, it's there.

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I didn't realize how much was stored up

and pent up in it because of the trauma

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that I've experienced towards my body, it

does have an effect on your mental health.

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It does, I don't wanna speak for

anyone but myself when it comes

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to, you know, healing from sexual

violence and dating violence, like

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this is my own personal experience.

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But I do know with the conversations

that I have had with other survivors

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that this feeling of being disconnected

to your body is something that we all

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struggle with on different levels.

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And I'm even reading a book right

now, it's called The Courage to

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Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis.

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And there's a section in here about

learning to live in your body actually.

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And you know that we, we need to

allow ourselves to release what has

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happened to our bodies against our will.

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You know, it's great to talk about and

share our experiences, but we also need

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to do the same when it comes to our body.

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And there's this intense connection,

this intense relationship between

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our body, our mind, and our spirit.

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At times, I still feel

trapped and caught in my body.

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At times I still feel like an

alien in it because so much

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of my body has been violated.

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No, not even, not, not even so much.

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Ha.

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Like it, my body was violated against my

will point blank and period, and all the

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emotions that come to it that I've put

upon myself, I, I do not deserve that.

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No one deserves that.

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But we put it upon ourselves

as it's it's our fault.

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It's our doing that this happened to our

home, that it happened to our bodies.

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It's not our, we're doing, it's theirs.

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It's their actions.

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They are responsible for their actions.

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And what we can do

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is we can try our damn to survive.

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Because if we survived the abuse,

if we survived the assault, if we

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survived X, Y, and Z happening to

us, we can survive the recovery.

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When I think about getting back into my

body, especially after something as that

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intense flashback that I experienced this

week while I'm recording this episode.

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I have to go back to my go-to list

of things that I do to feel safe

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in my body and reconnect to it.

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So I want to share these actionable steps

that I have been doing when I experienced

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moments like the ones I experienced

at my heels class that help really

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ground me and bring me back to my home.

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And I know some of them may sound

a little, you know, a little zany,

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a little wacky, a little out of

there, a little unconventional.

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But I promise you they work.

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I promise you they work.

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And I hope that this helps you as well.

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So number one, radiant icons,

is a body care routine.

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That touch of you putting moisture on

your body, that touch of putting soap on,

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that touch of spritzing perfume on those

pulse points in your body, it creates

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a level of safety within it because

you're getting used to right that good

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touch, that good touch of you touching

your body in a safe way in a safe place.

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So for me personally, a body care routine

has been something that has really,

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really been a game changer for me.

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Even when it comes to the simple

things of those touches that

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we just spoke about, right?

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It's allowing me to get comfortable

with certain touches on my body of

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like, oh, well actually that feels

really nice putting this lotion

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on my arm, or it feels really nice

putting this lotion on my legs.

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Right.

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Right now I am really, really

loving my Bath and Body Works

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Sweetheart Cherry body lotion.

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It smells so good.

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It's like literally so delectible you

guys, and also it just, it just feels

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so nice on my skin and it, it just,

like, it makes me feel so much better

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and just connected to my body in a

different sense that I don't think we,

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I don't think we really, really think

about, to be honest, when we're on this

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journey of reconnecting to our body

and feeling back in line with it, you

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know, and feeling safe in it again.

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So I challenge you radiant icons

to perfect your body care routine.

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Think about the products that you

are using on your body in the shower.

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What are you using for soap?

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What are you using for your shaving cream?

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What are you using as your body

wash if you're a body wash icon?

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Also radiant icons when

it comes to body care.

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I think of perfume not only putting

it on those pulse points to feel extra

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luxurious and like put together and like,

ooh, la la, I also think of those pulse

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points as reminders of when I get anxious

to sniff my wrist as weird or wacky

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or unconventional as that sounds like

smelling my Oakcha sinful, layered with

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that girl viral vanilla just grounds me.

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It puts me back in my being and my body.

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It's just a constant reminder on my

body of the scent that I chose to put on

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myself to align myself back into my body.

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I also have a discount code for Oakcha

that I will link in the show notes

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for you guys, but those are just some

things I encourage you to think of.

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The second one is fueling your body with

nutrients and cutting out the food noise.

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This step has been a game changer to

me when it comes to reconnecting with

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my body because in order to reconnect

with your body, you need to fuel it

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and nourishing your body with foods

that make you feel good like the extra

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crunchy cheese doodles in the blue bag

from wise or sushi rolls, or a little

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snack plate, or a really good salad.

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Or a really good burger, like a

smash burger with onion rings.

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Oh, or some s'mores cookies.

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That's what we need.

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That's what I'm talking about when

it comes to fueling your body.

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And a fun thing when it comes to this

step, radiant icons, is I challenge

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myself with finding new recipes that

I want to try, whether it's on the

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cooking side or the baking side.

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I love to bake cookies

with my dad and my sister.

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We made s'mores cookies like a couple

weeks ago, and that was like the

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highlight of my life because I've been

wanting to make them so bad or even,

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um, what did we do the other day?

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We made like these, like

kitchen sink cookies.

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Like, I, I love a good cookie.

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Okay.

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Like, it's so good.

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Like, oh my goodness, like I love

a good sweet treat like that.

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Or on the other end of it, when it

comes to cooking, see, I don't cook,

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but I do like try new things for lunch.

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That's when I have fun with it.

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So my hyper fixation meal right

now is my handmade sushi rolls,

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but they're not like sushi rolls.

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They're like.

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How do I like, maybe it's like a hand

roll 'cause it's like seaweed chips

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from Costco and then you can use

like canned tuna or canned salmon or

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like smoked salmon or imitation crab.

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And then you put spicy mayo

on it, like sriracha mayo.

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And you just eat it and

it's like really good.

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Like I love that.

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Like I had that the other day, my dinner

literally was my hand rolls, but I did it

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with imitation crab and avocado with my

seaweed chips and my spicy little mayo.

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And then I had a Poppi and I had my

extra crunchy cheese doodles that

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are really, really hard to find.

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And I made it my mission to find it so I

can treat myself to a little Amanda night.

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It was so, so great you guys.

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But that's what I'm talking about when

it comes to fueling your body with

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nutrients and cutting out the food noise.

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Number three radiant

icons is group movement.

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There is something so special and powerful

about a group movement class because it

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allows you to cultivate community and get

back in your body and turn your brain off.

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I love me a good group workout

class because it truly allows

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me to turn my brain off, right?

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Just like I mentioned in heels dance.

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I can turn my brain off, but also

be surrounded in community and just

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focus on what I'm trying to learn.

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I just gotta focus on what someone is

telling me to do and actually do it.

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That is the best feeling in the world

that allows me to get back in my body.

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'cause I'm solely focusing on

the movements that I am doing.

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For instance, just this week right

before my little Amanda dinner

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that I just told you guys about,

I went to my first boxing class.

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So I'm a boxer now, radiant

icons and it felt so damn good.

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It felt so damn good to be strong and

to be powerful and to punch that damn

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bag and get all my anger out and get all

my embarrassment out and all my shame.

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Even the coaches, literally

I was punching the thing.

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I was like, boom, boom, boom.

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And you guys, you know that

a left-handed boxer is called

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a SouthPaw, like very unique.

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That's me.

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But anyway, that's not the point.

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The coaches literally the bag

was like swinging everywhere.

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Like my poor friend Mo.

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Mo went with me to this class and

you know, they were on the other

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side of me and I was just punching

that damn bag so hard and it was

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just kept swinging everywhere

and it almost like swang to them.

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I felt so bad.

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So then the coaches like, there

were multiple like helping

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out and everything, and.

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You know, they had to keep coming and

holding the back so I could punch it.

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'cause I was punching so damn

hard because I was so angry.

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I was so angry that my body has

been violated against my will

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that I said, you know what?

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Fuck it.

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Punch it.

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It's great.

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Um, but anyway, not the point.

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The coaches would come around and be

like, damn, girl, like, you're strong.

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Like, I'd be scared of you.

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And so I was like, well, you can just

imagine what I'm punching and radiant

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icons We can all imagine what was going

on in my brain and what I imagined

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the target of my punching bag was.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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But no, genuinely, like the coach is

saying that I'm like really strong and

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that they, they literally said that I am

strong and that they would be scared of

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me as, as they should, as they should.

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As they should, so should my

abusers, but you know, not the point.

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The point of this point or this step

radiant icons is that doing something

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in a, a group fitness class allows

you to get back in your body and find

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safety in it because it allows you

to turn off your brain, get your body

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moving, and be surrounded by others.

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Because you're never alone

on this healing journey.

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You may not be on the same

healing journey as me, right?

377

But we all are healing from

something in this life.

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We all are.

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We are never alone.

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Even if it does feel like we are

alone on our own individual paths

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of healing, we never truly are.

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So why not surround yourself in a

community that just wants to get active,

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turn their brains off and just go for it?

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Right?

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I think that's what's so magical

about group fitness classes is that

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you can be surrounded by others.

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You never know what anyone

else is going through, but

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we're all here for one purpose.

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We're all here for one goal is to complete

this damn class and get our bodies moving.

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That is so beautiful and that is

so powerful when you are on this

391

journey of learning how to live in

your body and reconnect with it.

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It's literally a physical

representation that you're never alone.

393

You are never alone.

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I was never alone when I

was in that boxing class.

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I was never alone When I

was in that heels class.

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I always had someone.

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I always had someone, even if they didn't

know what I was going through, right?

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I always had someone in my corner.

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Everyone is always cheering you on.

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I want the best for you

on this healing journey.

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radiant icon.

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As you were learning how to live in your

body and reconnect to it and reclaim

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safety in it, I want the best for you.

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I do.

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And so this step I really, truly

do love, try group fitness class.

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Let me know.

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Let me know how you like

it and what class you did.

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Let's get to step four.

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Step four is affirmation

Work in the mirror.

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Now, my therapist gave me

a specific recommendation.

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I can't find it right now, but I'll

link it in the show notes for you guys.

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But this may seem odd at first.

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Okay?

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But affirmation work is so vital

because it retrains your brain

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and reframes your thoughts.

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Whatever we feed our mind,

radiant icons becomes our reality.

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So we need to train our mind to see

things in a positive light, especially

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how you view yourself and your

body as you are coming home to it.

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And my last one, radiant icons.

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I know this is gonna sound so

unconventional, but it's so movie

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magic and I just, you just need to

do it radiant icons dancing in your

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room like no one else is watching.

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It's almost like if you have a car

and you know how to drive and you

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just like jam out in your car while

you're like cruising on the highway.

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It's the same type of concept.

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It's that same type of

feeling of being free, right?

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There is just something so healing about

jamming out in your car or jamming out

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in your room and dancing like no one is

watching or singing your heart out, like

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no one is watching and no one can hear.

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There is something so freeing

about it that allows you to

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just be one in your body.

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It all comes down to

Freedom radiant icons.

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So I encourage you to implement these

action steps, especially when you are

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looking for tips and tricks on how

to help ground yourself and come back

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to your home, which is your body.

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Alright, radiant icons.

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That is your tea time session for today.

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If you enjoy today's episode, make

sure to subscribe, to leave a rating,

439

a review to tell your friends about

us, to tell everyone and anyone

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because we love more radiant icons

in our iconic community of ours.

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I do have to say radiant icons.

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I am loving all the love you have sent

regarding our Own Your Sexy Collection.

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You guys.

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I love this collection so damn much.

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I'm literally wearing the hot and healing

little baby tee and the matching shorts.

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I know you can't see the shorts right

now, but um, literally it's all I

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live in is this collection and I

love seeing you guys match with me.

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So please make sure to

send me your pictures.

449

And if you haven't already picked up

your favorite pieces from the collection,

450

then Radiant Icon, what are you doing?

451

Make sure to click the link in

the show notes below so we can

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match and own our sexy together.

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Okay?

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Okay.

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But anyway, radiant icons on a more

serious note, I do wanna say thank

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you for listening to this episode.

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Thank you for listening to this

episode with care most importantly, I

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know this episode was a heavy hitter.

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I know I spoke about a

lot of subjects that.

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You know, aren't easy to talk about.

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They're not easy for me to talk about.

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And I know on the other end

it may not be easy to hear.

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Right.

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But my goal with Dare to be iconic,

especially with this season, season

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three, has been to have the hard

conversations that no one talks about.

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The conversations that I wish

I had, the ones that I wish

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I still do have to this day.

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That is why I use my voice and share

my story, even when it's really

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hard, even when I'm really scared.

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I have the conversations because I know

that there is another radiant icon on the

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other end who is listening to this tea

time sesh right now that feels less alone

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because of the conversation that we had.

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Because somewhere along the way in

the conversation even if they didn't

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relate to the specific experiences that

I shared, they felt seen and heard.

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And I do wanna say that if you have

experienced what I have experienced,

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whether that's sexual violence or sexual

assault, or PTSD or intimate partner

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violence, also known as dating violence,

I want you to know that you are not alone.

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I know this journey, at least

for me, has felt so isolating

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and has felt so isolating for

the last nine years of my life.

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Even while I'm recording this very

podcast, I'm like, oh, I don't know if

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anyone will resonate to what I am saying.

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There's that doubt in me, right?

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Because I'm scared.

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I am scared

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to talk about this 'cause it's

hard and it's uncomfortable.

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But

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the more I talk about it, the

more I am able to heal for me.

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For me, that is my choice.

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The more I heal out loud in my way, which

is talking about it on this podcast and

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having these types of conversations,

it makes me feel less alone.

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It truly really does.

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And so I want you to know that if you've

experienced anything that I've mentioned

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in today's episode, you are not alone.

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You are not alone on this journey,

and I believe you and I support you,

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and I will be linking resources in

the show notes below for you guys.

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Okay?

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I love you guys so much.

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Thank you for letting me share my story

and use my voice, and I hope it helps you

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feel less alone on your healing journey.

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I love you guys and I'll

chat with you next week.

501

Remember, radiant icons.

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Dare to be iconic.

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Bye.

504

Welcome to the Fashionably Single

Podcast, where single life meets

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real talk, hosted by Hannah.

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This guy is sitting next to me and

this was like a no shoe kind of house,

507

so he had to take his shoes off.

508

They were playing cards, drinking, and

then all of a sudden he starts rubbing his

509

foot on my leg and her co-host Jessica.

510

So he leaves me at the table, he gets

his food, he goes back to his car.

511

I'm thinking he's

dipping out on this date.

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I just told him I don't want to marry

him and I won't let him kill me.

513

So two millennials in

Austin, Texas, navigating.

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Independence and becoming your best

self with confidence and style.