My beautiful aging bravehearts. Yes, I say aging, and I say it on purpose because this is an episode about how to be proud of the aging process. Our culture celebrates youth loves youth, but the reality is we are aging, and there's no shame in that. Yet we feel embarrassed. We feel a sense of shame. We feel like we are apologizing more lately. I apologize for my wrinkles, for my skin, for my shedding hair, for all the things, but I want you to know that self-acceptance during this aging process is really critically important. Why?

Well, psychologically, you wanna be healthy in this next decade, and that means that you are going to have to accept yourself because we know that psychology always shows us over and over consistently that self-acceptance decreases anxiety and depression, and it increases resilience. When we accept who we are and the season of life that we're in, that doesn't mean we're acquiescing to it. It means we're understanding it with compassion. We're in it. Okay. We have more resilience to say, I'm gonna change what I can change, what I can't change, what's not in my control. I'm gonna accept it with grace.

So, do you know that when you criticize your body? And your aging process, you're activating stress. Cortisol begins to spike in your life, and you are reinforcing those neural pathways that have to do with shame because you train your brain to scan for flaws. When you look in the mirror, do you see your strength? Or do you see your flaws? We've trained our brains that when we're in the mirror, we're scanning for what's wrong, instead of smiling at and saying, thank you for what's right. So neuroscience tells us that the brain wires around repeated thoughts and patterns, and if a woman looks in the mirror every morning and says, oh, I hate this, and where did this come from? It literally strengthens those pathways. And when you practice that for over and over and over for years, can you imagine your mindset better to look in the mirror and reinforce this pathway?

This is my face at 55. This is my face at 60. These lines show that I've lived some life. I've triumphed. I'm an overcomer. This body carried children. It built a household. This body built a business and survived heartbreak. Good job, body. Well done, Dawn, or whoever you are. Okay? When you look in the mirror that way, you begin to rewire your emotional response. And this is not fluff, this is science. It's called neuroplasticity, and this is the way our brain works so self. Acceptance creates a nervous system safety. It gives a place of safety and security to your nervous system. And when the nervous system feels safe, women, we make better choices. We just do. We make a choice from a grounded, solid place, not a panicked, nervous, impulsive place.

Another thing that I wanna bring to you today is that shame does not produce long, sustainable changes. What do I mean by that? Well, sometimes we shame ourselves into change, and it's okay to have the emotion of disgust at times that I've had enough. Sometimes that is an impetus to move us into the next chapter of our life, and that's okay, but that's not shame. Shame is feeling like everything about you is a mistake.

And like I said at the top of the show, feeling like I have to apologize for my very existence. That's right, I have wrinkles. Yes, my arm has a little bit of skin, so things aren't as perky as they used to be. Shame is a short-term motivator, however, and it can push you to crash diet, it can push you to overexert, it can push you to exercise for a few weeks to get some Botox, whatever. But long-term shame is a poor motivator because you're gonna burn out. You're gonna feel that sense of despair. You feel like it's never done, and you have to keep doing things over and over and over again to reverse the clock.

Self-respect, however, produces sustainable habits. And again, that self-acceptance that says, this is what I can change, this is what I can't. I could modify it, but the biggest thing I can change is the way I think about it. And there's a massive difference. One says, I hate my body. I need to fix it. And the other one says, I respect my body. I want to strengthen it. Strengthening our bodies, preparing ourselves to enter our aging years with strength and inner beauty, is wonderful. One, shame is punishment. The other is stewardship. We wanna steward ourselves well.

Number three, the next thing that I wanna share with you is that aging is biologically normal, but our culture wants to make a pathology out of it. Like something's wrong with you.

Listen, aging is not a defect. It's a privilege. You are. Living, you are still here. You are breathing, and if you are breathing and you have a pulse, you have a purpose. God's not done with you yet. So yes, biologically, wrinkles mean that your collagen is changing. We know that hormonal changes happen. We know that. Melanin Redu reduces, and that creates gray hair. We know that our metabolism may get a little bit sluggish, and we feel that we've got that muffin top. Perhaps, you know, the skin elasticity shifts and becomes. Less tight and estrogen shifts, and that's what causes the elasticity in our skin to begin to decrease when those things happen. They're physiological, and it's part of life. They're not moral failures. You don't have to make excuses for it, and you don't especially have to feel ashamed about it. But I know that modern culture equates youth with value.

Listen to me, modern culture equates youth with value, but you are the most valuable, wise, beautiful, and sage woman at this stage of your life than ever before. Women internalize, they say, if I don't look 35, I'm not relevant, or I don't feel relevant, or I need to apologize for my aging. That belief is toxic to your identity. And here's the truth: confidence and presence increase with age when shame decreases. When you tell yourself, I'm not gonna be embarrassed, I'm not gonna be ashamed or shamed because I'm aging. When that starts to go down, your confidence will begin to rise. Midlife women who stop apologizing for their faces often become more powerful. Not less. Stop pointing out what you think is a flaw and just allow yourself to be that brave, hearted, confident, powerful woman.

The next thing I wanna share with you, point number four, acceptance actually leads to healthier choices. I mentioned that in the first point that I shared with you, but here's the paradox. When you accept your body. Just say this is where I am not, not acquiescing. Yes, do what you can, but when you do accept it, you are more apt to move consistently, to nourish wisely. You're more apt to sleep better and get that replenishing rest. You will find yourself dressing more confidently, and I think age-appropriately. What do I mean by that?

I mean that you can dress in a way that makes you look beautiful and sexy and sensual, even if you're with the love of your life. Your husband. Your spouse. But when you show up publicly, you're gonna look like a confident woman, not like somebody who's trying to be 35 or someone who's trying to prove that they're still hot that reduces the power that you have. You know, it feels like you're hiding. And when you show up confidently, you're no longer hiding.

Self-hatred begins to shrink because you are growing in self-acceptance. Self-acceptance expands you. That feels like a mouthful right now. I'm gonna say that again. Self-hatred shrinks you. Self-acceptance expands you. And isn't that what we want? Because expansion leads to a powerful contribution, and I'm not done contributing. I still wanna give to this world. I love giving to my clients. I love being that coach who can speak to them and change the trajectory of the path that they're on, because something that we talked about in a coaching session moved the needle in such a powerful way. I love that.

So I'm thinking about the significance of life, not just feeling, you know, good outfit because my skin is tight. Sure, I loved that season, and I'm gonna keep doing everything that I can in my power, but that's not my identity. That's not really who I am. Who I really am is deep down inside of here, a woman who has wisdom to offer.

Here's another thing, I just mentioned it, but self-acceptance means that I'm gonna make appropriate change versus self-rejection. Here's what that looks like. This is where acceptance doesn't mean that I'm not coloring my hair. Oh, no, no, no, no. I will continue to color my hair, assuming that I'm coloring it. That is, I am not using just water and any kind of soap. I am using the best of skincare that is affordable to me, and I love that. I'm using retinol now to kind of erase what time is doing. It doesn't mean I stop exercising and say, oh wow, what the heck? You know, it's all going south anyway.

No, I'm not doing that. I exercise every day, as most days that I'm able to and my schedule allows it, but it's typically four or five times a week. Put it that way. It doesn't mean that if I'm self-accepting, I'm never improving health markers. Absolutely not. I am trying to move those health markers. I'm eating right. I'm exercising. I'm increasing protein, I'm increasing water. I'm decreasing sugar and carbs. I'm doing those things.

So what am I doing? I'm making appropriate change versus just rejecting myself and saying, okay, whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen. I don't like my skin anymore. I don't like my hair. I don't like my body, I don't like my metabolism. You know, my teeth. I've gotta get a crown on here. You know, all of the things we can say, yes, that's part of the aging process. Now, midlife women, you're not there yet, but those of us who are listening to this, who are beyond midlife, we need to make changes. We make modifications, but it isn't because I'm trying to earn my identity, but I do wanna feel the best that I can possibly feel. I want to live my life in these last years with vibrancy and health and energy, not feeling tired and sick.

So I'm making changes not from fear, but for freedom, so that I can continue to live my life in a way that's very powerful. I don't wanna have Botox because I'm afraid that I'm gonna get rejected by the younger generation that thinks I have nothing to offer. But I might get Botox because I feel more confident. Maybe not, but my identity isn't connected to it. I might lose weight, but not because I feel ashamed, and I don't feel like I deserve to have a place of influence in this world because I'm overweight. No, I want strength training for vitality, and I wanna be able to bend down and pick up my great-grandbabies. Yes. I have three of those now. I wanna keep up. I used to say grandchildren. Now they're all blown and going, and getting married, and some of them are in high school, some of them are still in elementary school. I wanna run with them. I wanna hang out with them. So I'm gonna continue to be in shape. I'm gonna continue to be strong, weight resistance training. Yes, all of that. But it's because I love my life and I wanna continue in it strong. And because I have a good relationship with the future me, I see me in a few years from now, and I love her, and I want her to look back and say, thank you, Dawn, for making good choices when you were in your sixties. So today I'm benefiting from those.

What about you? Can you see your future? You. Can you live from a place of saying, I wanna be good to her? I don't wanna just have memories of what was, I don't wanna look at pictures and say, oh, look how young I was. I want to be able to look at the future and say, look how young I still look, how strong I still am, and think about my own mom, who's gonna be 90 this year. Still does over 18 stairs every day, up and down. Still drives across the country. She drives across the country from Arizona to Michigan. She's still very involved in her church and her Bible study and is very active. My mom goes out, listens to jazz music, and hangs out with friends. She's living a beautiful, full life, and I say that's gonna be me. I claim that now, from a faith perspective, you know your body is described as the temple of the Holy Spirit, 1 Corinthians 6:19, and we're called. To live as stewards. The Bible says that we're wonderfully and fearfully made, Psalm 1:39, and so aging does not cancel that truth.

The truth is that the character lines that I have on my face show a life, well-lived. I wanna stay glowing with joy. I hope that I do, and I believe that's far more compelling than trying to be a 30-year-old obsessed with perfection. So I just wanna let you know that today we're gonna say thank you, God, for a healthy body, a healthy mind, a healthy mindset. And a reason and purpose for staying that way, as the future that's in front of us is beautiful, and I can't wait to get there. Now that's being said. I shared with you that doesn't mean we don't do what we can do.

And I do have a free download in my Top 10 Age-Defying Beauty Products. And you know, you can hold two things to be true at once. I'm accepting who I am and where I am, and I'm not gonna body shame, and I'm not gonna age shame myself. And the other thing that's true is I'm gonna stay vibrant and healthy and strong and do what I can to steward. The process. So I do have that list. I love it. I use it. I'm not ashamed of it. And if you want a part of it, you can go to braveheartedwoman.com/resource, and there you'll find my list of age-defined secrets.

But you know what? You might be listening to this right now and say. I love the fact that you have that list for me, but something that you're saying today is really resonating with me, and I really need to get a good mindset about this next chapter of life. What is it that I do? What is my contribution? How do I use my time now? How do I change the words to say I look awful? I feel awful. I'm tired. I'm afraid of this season. I don't know what I do. Everything is shifting. My family, my friends, it's all different.

Well, midlife is a time, and beyond is a time when you can strengthen your purpose and dive a little bit deeper. And if you want that clarity, I have an amazing course that is now on video, ready for you, and I'd love for you to have it. If you're ready to strengthen your mindset and make powerful shifts in your life, you are the very candidate that I'm speaking of. So go to my website. You'll find the brave life method for transformation, and my Brave Life method is gonna help you walk out these principles and so many more. You're gonna discover how to make the right affirmations that are in line with aging. This way, with power and intent, you're gonna raise your confidence, you're gonna diminish shame. You're going to have a clear vision and strategy to live out your life in the next 20 years with purpose and power and passion, and you're not gonna just fade to black, okay? You're not gonna just fall off the screen and disappear. This is my promise to you. So visit my website, braveheartedwoman.com. And now I wanna leave you, my dear Bravehearts, as I always do. This is Dawn Damon, your Braveheart coach, saying to you, it's time for you to find your brave and live your dreams!