Inflatable Vaginas, Horgons, and the Women’s Pro Baseball Opener

Hosts Beck and Dash review the opening of the Women’s Professional Baseball League, praising the games and milestones (first home run, Mo’Ne Davis as first batter). What happened with that national anthem performance and the choice of mayor for the league’s first ceremonial pitch? They talk about how girls’ limited baseball development pathways affect competition and mention potential team favorites. Dash anticipates Jane Schoenbrun’s upcoming film Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma and they quote basically all of Super Troopers before remembering they're supposed to be entertaining. They laugh at a Rand Paul town hall caller and trade insults and jokes, then do “show and tell” with an inflatable vagina for condom demos and a Star Trek Risa Horgon.

00:00 Have You Ever Seen An Inflatable Vagina?

01:07 Show and Tell

01:52 Dollar Store Economics & Food Safety

03:29 Women's Professional Baseball League

21:51 Show and Tell

33:36 Queernecks Sponsor: Non-Franchised Dairy Stand

36:55 Regional Dairy Bars & Ice Cream Preferences

46:18 Transraciality, Rachel Dolezal & Identity Politics

49:46 Road Trip Plans & Sign Off

Welcome to Queer Next, the podcast that puts the

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Yee Hall in y'all means hall.

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I'm your host, Beck,

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Speaker 2: and I'm your host.

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Dash.

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Welcome to today's episode.

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DashDash (2): You know how, like, I've

been choking on cat fur for weeks now

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'cause they're just shedding everywhere?

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Beck: Yes

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DashDash (2): I th- got one of

those, like, fancy undercoat brushes.

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Beck: Oh, nice

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DashDash (2): yeah.

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And so I was attacking

them with it last night.

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Brisket loves it.

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Oscar likes it.

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Ziggy's kinda meh, and

Felix is terrified of it.

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You know, there's no,

there's no brushing Felix

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Beck: We got Rue a brush.

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Rue needs a haircut.

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We finally got her in.

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She has an appointment August 11th.

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She looks like a homeless, uh, bichon

frise right now, if that is a thing.

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Her little hair is wild looking.

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She needs a bath too, so

she's just homeless looking

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DashDash (2): Yeah, I,

I'm experiencing, like…

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Remember the boots theory

of socioeconomics that,

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Beck: Yes.

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You

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DashDash (2): Terry Pratchett?

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Beck: ones over and

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DashDash (2): Yeah.

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Beck: yeah

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DashDash (2): I'm, I'm kind of

experiencing that in haircut

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form because I've lost a very

essential guard on my clippers.

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And I'm, so I'm like, " Do

I buy a new set of clippers?

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Do I just pay somebody, do I find a barber

somewhere and pay somebody to cut my hair?

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Or do I shave my head?"

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Beck: What is your decision?

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DashDash (2): I don't know.

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I mean, I, I…

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That was just this morning.

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The clippers I've got are

dollar store clippers.

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Beck: Oh, so

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DashDash (2): never buy the good ones.

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Beck: You probably

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store too, don't you?

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DashDash (2): No.

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W- I did buy s- I do buy some food

from the dollar- no, h- you know what

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I got from the dollar store is sausage.

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I got some Andouille

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Beck: Ew.

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I won't eat, I, I'll, I'm

very, very, very particular.

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I won't eat most things

out of a dollar store.

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That's because when I was growing up,

Mark, my a- adopted father he was a

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regional manager for Big Lots, Odd Lots.

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And that was before, you know, dollar

stores were a thing or whatever.

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And so they would just get what they got.

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And sometimes they'd get food

shipments that were disgusting,

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rotten, like that kind of thing.

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And I learned, he, I, he would just

come home and say, "I got a box

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full of worms today," or whatever.

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And like, I just, knowing what he

did, it, I just couldn't do it.

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I just can't do it to this day

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DashDash (2): Yeah, I don't, I've, I

haven't bought anything fresh there.

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I buy processed food sometimes.

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They sell, th- well, this one anyway and

my local market here, every single, uh,

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f- like pr- pre-packaged fresh produce

is Taylor Farms, which is the one that's

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Beck: Oh,

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DashDash (2): got the…

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Beck: factory

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DashDash (2): I was like,

"Y'all just out here?

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You would, you wouldn't change this?"

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Really?

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Beck: Yeah.

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I'm like, "I bet you are on

sale this week at Kroger"

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DashDash (2): Yeah.

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Pe- t- for people who are

willing to take the chance

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Beck: Yeah, old people are just people

that don't watch the news or something.

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I don't know.

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DashDash (2): Yeah, and these people

out here, they all, they're all like

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Trumpers and they get their news from

like those people, so they probably

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don't know, or they may not know.

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Or if they've heard it,

they don't believe it

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Beck: Right?

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That could definitely be it

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DashDash (2): Uh, no thank you

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Beck: There we go

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DashDash (2): Have you

watched any fun movies lately?

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Beck: I was watching The

Craft right before we got

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DashDash (2): Mm-hmm.

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Beck: this conversation.

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DashDash (2): one?

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Beck: yeah, I was about

20 minutes from the end.

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I've been watching a lot of women's

professional baseball this week.

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That's

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DashDash (2): So I wanted to ask you,

yeah, I wanted to ask you about that.

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I wore my baseball shirt

in honor of the opener.

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So and I don't know, you know, hopefully

s- our listeners got to see it, at least

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got to see some of the highlights if

you don't have the pass to view this.

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But yeah, tell us about it

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Beck: But it was fantastic.

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So I was a little disappointed

with the opening day stuff.

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I don't know what I expected, but I guess

I'm used to a league like Major League

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Baseball that has millions of dollars

to spend on pomp and circumstance,

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and this is a brand-new league that

doesn't have anything to do with it.

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Did you catch the, uh,

the national anthem?

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Google WPBL National Anthem, uh,

Martha, just put Martha, it'll come up

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DashDash (2): Okay

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Oh, well, apparently that went south

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Beck: Are you listening?

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DashDash (2): No, I don't think

I can bring myself to do that.

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It's one of, this is one of my

nightmares Having been a singer

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and done shit like this, uh,

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Beck: Well, so

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emerged that Shanna showed me today.

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It's in, it, it's the,

the rehearsal beforehand.

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They were sitting in the stadium

seats, and it was her and the

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two women that she sang with.

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And she basically told them that they were

out of tune and that she didn't need them

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and that they could go ahead and sit down.

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Like, she pulled full diva moves

on them, and then she went out

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and, and sang over them completely

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know she was a diva.

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I d- I don't think she

was the proper choice.

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I think s- somebody got shoehorned into

letting her sing that because who, like…

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And the first pitch, my, my other

big complaint was the first pitch

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at all of, of any game ever for

the Women's Professional Baseball

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League was from the, from the mayor

of the town they're playing in.

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Like, literally none of the, the,

the bright stars or none of the, the

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famous women that have been part of

pioneering baseball history for the

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last 50 years, none of them could have

come and thrown out the first pitch?

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One thing they did do well was,

m- uh, Maybelle is a 99-year-old

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lesbian icon who played in the

All-American Girls Professional

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Baseball League back in the '40s.

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She's one of just a handful

that are still alive.

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They made her, she, she threw

out one of the first pitches

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but not the first first pitch.

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And they, the mascot is her, uh, is,

is Maybelle, and it's, it's so good.

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want a Maybelle doll

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DashDash (2): it is, it is really good.

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I, when I saw it, it was so uncanny

valley because it, it really had…

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So even those, like,

oversized glasses she wears,

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Beck: Yep.

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DashDash (2): That's pretty- I

wonder if she's, like, on there a lot

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Beck: No, she's not.

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She, she doesn't have a lot of friends.

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I don't know how I got through, but

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DashDash (2): Yehaw

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Beck: of the other people through my

research who I've become friends with.

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Knew several of the people that

were involved with the whole

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production of that, uh, this weekend.

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Like Justine Sing- uh, Siegel,

she wrote several books.

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I, I emailed her once.

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Kelly Elliott Dean, or Dine, she

was the, the, uh, lead umpire

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for the first couple of games.

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She's in a Facebook group about

women who are umpires in baseball.

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I thought they were a really interesting

group to, to kind of sub-study, you know?

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So I've been part of their group

for, I don't know, 10 years now.

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Yeah, there was a lot of, there

was a lot of history there.

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The game was fantastic.

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The first home run got hit in

the first, in the first one.

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The first batter that came up to

bat in the We- Women's Professional

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Baseball League ever was Mo'Ne Davis.

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Do you know who that is?

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DashDash (2): I don't

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Beck: Mo'Ne Davis was a baseball player.

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She became famous when she

was, I think, 12 or 13.

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Um, She played for a boys team and won

the Little League World Series, or at

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least she won, she had an, uh, a shutout.

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She pitched very well.

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And she ended up going to

college, I think, on a basketball

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scholarship or something.

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But she was famous for pl- a girl

playing baseball, and so she was,

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she, when, it was big news when she

decided to try out for the league,

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and then she was the first person up

to bat, which I think is very perfect

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DashDash (2): Okay, cool.

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So she, she played in the

Little League World Series

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Beck: I have a book that's about her too.

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I, I include her in my, when I do a pr- at

the end of the semester every year, uh, or

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every semester, I, uh, I, the one of the

last lectures I do I call my research, and

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I show how much of what we've talked about

this semester applies to my research and

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how it, a real world problem, you know?

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So we talk about some of the more

gender specific things and her being…

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The, one of the things I bring up that

Little League baseball integrated male

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and female in 1972, and since then

there have been, I think, 15 girls in

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the World Seri- Little League World

Series, and like 10 of those have been

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from America or something like that.

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Not very many.

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Thousands of boys have participated, but

there's only been like 15 girls total.

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So that's wild to me, which I hope that

changes now that we have the girl, the

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women's professional baseball league.

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Maybe some girls will be…

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But we'll see.

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The games, the first night was sold out.

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The second night was not.

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The third night was not.

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And we'll watch the fourth night tonight.

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I don't know which team I'm

gonna root for yet, but I

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DashDash (2): I was just about

to ask , Do you have a team yet?

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Beck: I think it's the San Francisco

Fire Belles, but I was really

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impressed with the Queens last

night, the Los Angeles Queens.

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They kicked some ass.

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DashDash (2): I saw some clips of them…

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They were the top in some statistics,

I guess, some key statistics

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Beck: Well, there's only

been three games so far, so,

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DashDash (2): Yehaw

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Beck: still has 1,000 batting

average on one of the teams.

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DashDash (2): Yeah, right?

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Beck: yeah, so,

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DashDash (2): I have one too.

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Beck: yeah.

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I am really enjoying it, though.

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It's, it's really cool to see

girls being as professionals.

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And so the comment sections are the

comment sections, and they're gonna say

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what they're gonna say, and a lot of them

are like, "I could beat them," and, "This

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is Little League," and stuff like that.

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But what they're not considering is

that boys that make it to Major League

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Baseball, they start in Little League,

then they go through the, the senior

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leagues, then they go through high

school, then they go through college

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until they have been conditioned

for 20 years to be an athlete, to

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be a pitcher or whatever, right?

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Girls have not had that same kind of

conditioning, that same kind of, of, of,

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of opportunity to do this kind of thing.

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Like, there are generations where my

dad was a pitcher, and my dad was a

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pitcher, and I'm a pitcher too, you know?

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DashDash (2): Yehaw

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Beck: the, my nephew, he is a pitcher for

a college team or he was, he graduated.

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But he had special coaches, and he

was, he played baseball from the time

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he was, like, in kindergarten, right?

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So by the time he was 18 and got to

college, he had 13 years of baseball

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under his belt, and then he had four more

years if he wanted to, like, go on to the

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minor leagues and then the major leagues.

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He would have even more

exposure to the game, right?

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And girls just don't get

that kind of exposure.

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So why would they have major

league, like, baseball talent?

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They have not been

conditioned to have that yet.

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We'll get there, just like

the WNBA has gotten there.

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They're very competitive now, you

know, and the games are awesome,

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and major professional baseball

will get there too, I think.

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That's my

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DashDash (2): Yeah.

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It'll take a generation

that's a good point.

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And these, it's always men

who say this kind of shit.

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They're the s- they're the same ones who

think that like a trans woman would have

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a natural advantage over a cis woman.

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they're never, ever gonna be able

to land this plane, but those two

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things are not compatible because

it- it's, it's assuming that there's

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some sort of innate skill to just

being a man, but also that a cis woman

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should be able to be as good as a man

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It doesn't make any sense.

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Beck: Right

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DashDash (2): I've been, uh…

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So my version of women's baseball

excitement is the release of Jane

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Schoenbrun's latest film, Teenage

Sex and Death at Camp Miasma.

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Um, This is my World Series.

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So this is the person who made,

They have made two films already,

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both of which are trans allegories.

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One was We're All Going

to the World's Fair.

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I think, I think this also might

have been, like, their student,

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their, like, senior thesis film.

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It has that vibe.

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It's good, but it very much

feels like a student film.

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Beck: Right

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DashDash (2): but then they made I Saw

the TV Glow, which kind of, uh, you

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know, took the, took America by storm

I never saw it, but you know, I'm, I'm

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reconsidering it because of this n-

latest installment in their oeuvre.

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Uh, it's got Hannah Einbinder, which

is, she's in h- that show Hacks with

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Jean Smart, and she's very, very funny,

and she's like an out queer person.

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And it's got Gillian Anderson in

it, who is a queer icon, right?

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Like, a lot of, lot of queer,

like lesbians and, and, like, uh,

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women who are attracted to women

have been obsessed with her for…

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Like, I have, have a c- had

a crush on her for 33 years.

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I counted this morning.

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Because I was in a comment section

of them doing press, and it's,

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it's adorable press, right?

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They do that, those junket things where

they make them go into interviews together

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and maybe play word association games

and just trying to create cute little

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snippets to build buzz for the film.

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And they have like, uh, some charisma.

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Charisma?

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That's not it.

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Chemistry.

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And somebody was, uh, like they were

in the comments, and they were like,

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"Isn't Gillian Anderson a Zionist?"

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And I was like, " No, and here's why,

but here's why you heard that," you know?

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And they're like, "How do you know that?"

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Because she's just, I mean,

this breaks the spell a little

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bit, but she's not brilliant.

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She's, she's likable.

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She has, you know, she's commendable.

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She's a great actress.

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She's a smoke show.

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But, you know, she's not a

professor of intersectional

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geopolitical, you know, whatever.

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And so she got taken in by that Stop

Jewish Hate campaign to try to convince

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everybody that being anti-Zionism is

be- is the same as antisemitism, and

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she canceled a speaking engagement.

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That's all she did, and then everybody was

like, "She's a Zionist," and she wasn't,

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like, smart enough to repair the damage.

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So I, that's what I said,

and they were like…

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And I, I had said, like, "If you'd

been f- if you follow her interviews

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you can kinda tell that, you know,

you can build the context for this."

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And they were like, " This, she's

only just now gotten famous.

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How do you, how do you know anything

about, you know, all of her interviews?"

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And I was like, "I've been

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I've been cutting them, I was cutting

them out of Wizard fucking Magazine

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and hanging them on my walls.

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There's…"

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Trust me.

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But that's what made me think about, like,

us doing the d- the, uh, old internet

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thing, like where we get on the WayBack

Machine and look at, like, old internet.

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Beck: I'm in.

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DashDash (2): have you heard

of the dead internet theory?

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Beck: I've heard of it, but

I don't know what it means.

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I've, I've heard that phrase, but

I don't exactly know what it means

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That everything's bots or something?

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DashDash (2): Yeah, yeah.

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That, that because we stopped using

the internet personally and we set

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everything up to be an application or a

bot or some AI, the, the internet is just

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artificial intelligence talking to itself.

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And I think that that's

related to media literacy.

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But anyway, I'm excited

for that movie to come out

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Beck: We're gonna go see Super

Troopers at the, the new Super

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Troopers next week at the drive-in

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DashDash (2): Did you see the second one?

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Beck: A long time ago, but we'll

probably watch it this week in

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preparation because we've seen the

first one about a million times.

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DashDash (2): I love

the first Super Troopers

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Beck: Yeah.

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We've seen it a million times meow

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DashDash (2): Meow.

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You think I'm jumping around all nimbly

bimbly from tree to, from tree to tree?

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The next motherfucker that says

shenanigans is getting pistol whipped

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I qu- I quote, "Who

wants a mustache ride?"

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all the time

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Beck: I always say a liter of cola.

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DashDash (2): A liter

of cola is for a cop.

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Beck: Yeah.

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DashDash (2): Goddamn, what a good movie.

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That,

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Beck: Yehaw

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DashDash (2): That I- have you…

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I don't know if they're as good.

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They're f- they're clearly funny

people, the Broken Lizard crew.

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But, like, what is it?

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Club Dread is the one where

they're on an island, and then

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Beer Fest, I think, is another one

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I wanna listen to that video you sent me.

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Uh, if, if y'all, follow us

on Facebook, I posted it there.

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But this is a town hall from,

I think, a few days ago.

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I don't know exactly when it was from.

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that…

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For, for Senator Rand Paul, and I don't

know who this poor bewigged woman who

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is trying to facilitate this thing is.

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I sent this to Claire and she goes, "I

would ask if it's real, but AI would

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not have done her hair like that."

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That is a, that is a plastic wig, y'all.

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But yeah, so this is a live town hall.

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And I…

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Well, let's listen to it,

and then we'll talk about it

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Speaker 3: We'll go ahead

to our next question now.

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Mrs.

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Alexis Toon, you are

live with the Senator.

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You can go ahead and ask your question.

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Speaker 4: Hi, Senator.

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I am a proud Kentucky citizen, and I

just wanted to tell you to get fucked.

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Speaker 3: All right, we'll

go ahead to our next question.

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DashDash (2): There's just so many

things that are right about that.

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Hi, Senator.

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And h- like, first of all, is get fucked

the greatest white person swear ever?

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It's, it's so succinct, and you're

just telling them what to do.

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I don't know.

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I've always loved that one

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But why doesn't this happen more often?

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This is my question.

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Like, what is stopping this

from being every town hall?

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Do they screen people normally?

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Beck: They probably just aren't

smart enough to get through

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the screening process, right?

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She probably was like, "What kind

of pro- policy do you propose

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DashDash (2): Yeah

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Beck: X, Y, and Z?"

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And then she's like, "Get fucked."

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I li- I wanna put, give, I wish that

person would announce their Ko-Fi 'cause

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I'd send them five bucks, you know?

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DashDash (2): Yeah, just not all heroes.

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And, and the, the expression on

this, this moderator's face when

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she realizes what's been said,

it … And she recovers so quickly.

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I mean, you know, good for her, whatever.

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This isn't her fault necessarily, unless

it is, in which case, there you go.

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But she was, she's just

catching stray fire, and he

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didn't react at all, you know?

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' Cause he doesn't fucking

care about anything.

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But yeah, thank you so

much for finding that.

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Beck: Happy to oblige

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DashDash (2): I would bring

back ringtones for this.

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I might.

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I might still just do it.

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tikTok delivered me something funny

earlier, 'cause there, there's one

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thing I love when TikTok does, which

is not steal jokes, I'm not talking

401

about joke stealing, but reviving

an old joke format and like pla- and

402

putting it into the TikTok format.

403

And so, like, there's that one…

404

There's a, there's a, the mo- most popular

style I think of video is somebody just

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holding their phone and narrating to it.

406

And so they're taking older, like,

stand-up type formulation jokes and making

407

them into that, into almost like a vlog.

408

And so this girl said "My doctor asked me

if I smoked or drank coffee," and I said,

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"Well, I drink it, but it sounds like

you might know a better way to do this."

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I fucking love that.

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Like, I've always loved that particular

formulation of a joke, because one of

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my favorite things is to be able to

have said something hilarious and the

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person doesn't realize it for a full…

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There's like dead air while they

put together what's been said.

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Beck: Right

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DashDash (2): And but the way she

said, like, "Well, I drink it."

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I saved it, I think.

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Let me-

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Speaker 5: My doctor asked,

do you smoke or drink coffee?

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And I said, I drink it.

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But it sounds like your weight

might be more efficient.

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What do you know?

423

DashDash (2): What do you know?

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Beck: That's funny

425

DashDash (2): Yeah.

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She got me There was

also a woman, oh my God.

427

So you know how a lot of people are,

are making a brand out of basically

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just cussing about Trump, cussing

at him as though he can hear them?

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the per- the person I'm thinking of

specifically that did this was Jennifer

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Welch from the I've Had It podcast.

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And that's not how they started.

432

They, they have been a podcast for a

long time, and it's a great premise.

433

I love them.

434

It's a couple of, I think at the time

they started, they were middle-aged,

435

you know, perry, perhaps post-menopausal

white women who were kind of talking

436

about the experience of living in this

world as people experiencing that.

437

And so, the I've Had It was

basically like, "This is what

438

I've had it with this week."

439

The thing that was getting on their

nerves or making, making it intolerable.

440

And they would have guests on or

take phone calls where people would

441

say, "I've had it with this or that."

442

And it, it was really funny.

443

But then they started transitioning

into making fun of Trump.

444

And so Jennifer Welch's reads about

Trump are really funny, and I think

445

that this woman, her name's Jojo

from Jersey, has done the same.

446

she called him…

447

And they, they, and

they address it to hims.

448

Like they're cussing him out to his

face, which is also pretty funny.

449

And so she goes, "You fucking

water-logged colostomy bag."

450

And that's been a vocal stim.

451

Keep saying it.

452

Like move over cellar door,

we have a new perfect phrase.

453

Fucking water-logged colostomy bag.

454

Like, it's just the perfect, like,

vowel to consonant ratio, the perfect

455

fricative to stop ratio in consonants.

456

I don't know.

457

I loved it.

458

But I need to get over that one

before I have to be around people

459

Beck: My favorite inanimate object

insult is you're, uh, quite the doorknob.

460

You're calling someone a … They don't

know what to say to that, 'cause you're

461

not really insulting them, right?

462

You're just saying you're

dumb as a doorknob, and like,

463

that's, it's a good way to

464

DashDash (2): Yeah.

465

What about a doorknob?

466

What about…

467

What kind?

468

Is it pretty?

469

Oh.

470

Well, should we do show and tell?

471

The Wheel of What Have You

gave us a fun game to play.

472

So fir- first I wanted to

ask, how did you choose?

473

Like, what was your criteria

for choosing what to bring?

474

Beck: It's the weirdest

thing I own, I think

475

DashDash (2): Okay.

476

I had trouble deciding…

477

I was also going for that, but then

I got in my head about, like, is

478

it weird to me, or is it gonna be

weird to everybody else, you know?

479

And so that got me…

480

That gets into, like, what are, what

is the other person gonna see about

481

this versus what do I see about it?

482

Beck: Right

483

DashDash (2): Shall we roshambo for it?

484

Beck: Do you one, two, three,

shoot or one, two, shoot?

485

DashDash (2): Yeah.

486

One, two, three, shoot

487

Beck: Okay.

488

Ready?

489

DashDash (2): One, two,

three, shoot Oh, you won.

490

Okay.

491

Beck: So I

492

DashDash (2): Does that mean you get…

493

Yeah, I was about to say we

didn't decide what that means.

494

Okay.

495

So let's see it.

496

What have you

497

Beck: Okay, first I'm gonna

just hold it up and see if

498

you can figure out what it is

499

DashDash (2): I can barely see it

it's a plastic bag Is it clear?

500

Beck: It is.

501

Now let me do, let me do something

502

DashDash (2): Okay.

503

Are you blowing it up?

504

Beck: Okay, that's enough air.

505

We'll stay in there

506

Okay.

507

Now can you tell what it is?

508

DashDash (2): Is there

something inside it?

509

It's a plastic, it's an

inflated clear plastic thing

510

Beck: It's a vagina.

511

It is an inflatable vagina.

512

And I have this for condom

demonstration purposes.

513

I have a bag full of these

514

DashDash (2): You have multiple

515

Beck: I,

516

DashDash (2): vaginas?

517

Beck: I contacted the company

and I was like, "I wanna do

518

this as a student thing," and

they sent me all kinds of shit.

519

But basically it's got the hole

here, and there's a little tube, and

520

there's like a little flap down here.

521

So when you push it in, you can push

it towards the, the cervix or whatever.

522

Yeah, that's what it's for.

523

But yes, it's an inflatable vagina.

524

DashDash (2): I wish I

could see it more clearly.

525

You'll have to get some photos and

video of it, uh, for the newsletter

526

and for social media, if you don't

527

Beck: Yeah.

528

If you gotta look at this, I

think I might have showed this

529

to you already, but this is full.

530

Look at it compared to my head.

531

It is full of condoms

532

DashDash (2): Do they

have rainbows on them?

533

Beck: Some of them do, yes.

534

The, oh, I have a pin on mine.

535

I don't know if you'll be able to see it

536

DashDash (2): Is it…

537

It's slightly out of frame.

538

Oh, is- okay, who is that?

539

Is that Marsha?

540

Hell yeah.

541

This, it's a sort of

cartoon drawing of Marsha P.

542

Johnson

543

Beck: It's a pin that you put

on your lapel pin or whatever.

544

One of my friends from, from the PhD

program bought them and decided she didn't

545

want them, so she emailed me one day and

she's like, "Hey, do you want these?"

546

And I was like, "Hell yeah."

547

So she sent them, and

they were really cool

548

DashDash (2): Well, and it's a

great use for expired condoms

549

too, to do demonstrations.

550

Beck: Yehaw

551

DashDash (2): Cause I used to

have that problem at like a

552

resource center I worked at.

553

Certain things would get used more than

others, but you couldn't, I couldn't

554

stop the distributors from sending

me, like, the same amount of things,

555

and so I was swimming in condoms.

556

And I'm like, "What do I do with these?

557

They're about to expire."

558

And so there was a program of kids, well,

of grad students and some undergrads that

559

they supervised who would give, know,

safer sex presentations on campus, and

560

they took them for giving demonstrations.

561

So I was like, "Hell

562

Beck: Nice.

563

DashDash (2): seen anything like that

564

Beck: Yeah.

565

And like I said, they sent me, it's

a perfect little square when you

566

first get it, and it looks like

one of those arm floaties that

567

you put on a toddler in the pool.

568

It is not.

569

It is far from that.

570

Toddlers do come from these, but

571

DashDash (2): You could get a toddler

out of it, but you shouldn't put one in.

572

That was a good one.

573

Man, now I want one.

574

When I come through, I want…

575

I would like one of those please.

576

Beck: Okay, no problem.

577

DashDash (2): That's a good one.

578

I…

579

Okay, so I'm glad that mine is that I

did f- go with something pretty weird.

580

I h- I have, you know, uh, quite a

few weird things, but some of it's

581

just nostalgic stuff, you know?

582

Like, and as I was going through

things, I found a lot of stuff

583

where I was like, "I, this is great.

584

I forgot about this."

585

You know, like for instance,

I have an old iPod Nano.

586

Why do I still have that?

587

Beck: Right

588

DashDash (2): Marie Kondo would have

thrown that shit out 10 years ago

589

Beck: You could probably get

good money for it on eBay

590

DashDash (2): I, I shudder

to think what's on it.

591

Beck: people are looking for technology

that is not connected to the internet.

592

They want physical stuff like that.

593

And you used to be able to download

songs and just have that before the,

594

you know, the way that it works now,

595

DashDash (2): Yehaw I wonder,

so I think I might find the

596

compatibility is a bit of an issue it.

597

Uh, I don't know where you would

even get a cable or, uh, maybe

598

you can get an adapter for it.

599

But yeah, I'll, I wanna dig around

in there 'cause there's, I had some

600

weird music on there, stuff that

I couldn't e- I don't, I couldn't

601

guess how to track down again.

602

' Cause that w- used to be a currency.

603

We used to, you know, we would download

songs off of Limewire or Napster or

604

whatever, burn them onto CDs, and

then you had iTunes, you could then

605

import everything from the CD into

iTunes and give it to another person.

606

So like, there was a roaring

trade of these things.

607

and that also, David got me that Nano.

608

He went on this apology tour after he

got sober he started trying to make

609

things up to us all, so he got me and

Vanessa good, like, really nice presents

610

and thoughtful presents, and dad too,

it was sweet, and so I still have a

611

couple of the things that he got me.

612

But that's not super interesting.

613

So I was like, all right, what…

614

I was the same as you.

615

I was like, "What's one of

the weirdest things I have?"

616

And I chose this also because it is really

weird and really niche, but a lot of

617

our listeners will know what this is it.

618

used to have feet on it

619

Beck: Uh, it looks like a chocolate

egg to me with tiki bug eyes

620

DashDash (2): It has tiki vibes, yep

621

Beck: What is it?

622

DashDash (2): It's called A Horgon.

623

Beck: Does that make the horrors be gone?

624

DashDash (2): No, no, No, it

actually makes them appear.

625

So this is an item, it's an artifact

from a planet on, in Star Trek

626

called Risa, the the ship goes to

for shore leave, so the crew can

627

disembark and have some personal time.

628

And if you set this next to you while

you're out at the pool or the dinner, at,

629

or dinner, or at the bar or something,

it means that you are open to sex.

630

So this is how you

signal to potential mates

631

Beck: it.

632

That's one way to do it

633

DashDash (2): Whoever

named it Horgon was not…

634

They just were tired that day.

635

They were over it.

636

Coming up with stuff on s-

names of things on Star Trek

637

would have to be crazy, though.

638

Beck: Yeah

639

DashDash (2): is actually, you know,

like this, this was never sold as merch.

640

This is actually from a merch

store of a podcast about Star Trek

641

that thought this was hilarious.

642

The,

643

Beck: Right

644

DashDash (2): their podcast

is making fun of Star Trek.

645

It's the one I told you about.

646

It's called The Greatest Generation.

647

And they're always, like, finding

ridiculous things about the show, and

648

this was one of 'em, and they decided to

3D print one, I think is what this is.

649

It looks like it is, and I think

that's why the bottom broke off of it.

650

It as merch.

651

And Vanessa got me this, which is wei-

maybe the weirdest part of this story.

652

Beck: That's awesome

653

DashDash (2): just showed up in the mail

one day, and I was like, "A Horgon."

654

I'm,

655

Beck: Yehaw

656

DashDash (2): what a Horgon is for.

657

Come

658

Beck: Hopefully it doesn't have a

upside down pineapple on it or anything

659

DashDash (2): Well, it is hollow

now It used to have a flared base.

660

Have you…

661

That's a joke that, from

that podcast actually.

662

If something has a flared base, then

it's in danger of going up your ass.

663

But that's from Dan Savage.

664

Do you, are you familiar with him?

665

Beck: Mm-mm.

666

DashDash (2): he has a, like a sex talk

podcast, and he's f- he's fine actually.

667

It's a good, it's a good resource for

like, sexual wellness education and stuff.

668

And he's always talking about, like,

if you're gonna do butt stuff with

669

something, you, it has to have a flared

base, otherwise it can disappear up there

670

Beck: That's funny.

671

When I do my sex ed talk, I talk

about butt stuff because this

672

generation is gonna be, like

they're the most ass-eatingest

673

generation that there ever has been.

674

And if you're gonna do butt stuff,

one of the things I do in my condom

675

demonstration is I cut the tip off of

one and then cut it up the side and

676

show them how to make a dental dam.

677

. And I say, "'Cause if you're gonna

do the butt stuff, you should

678

have some protection," you know?

679

DashDash (2): Yeah.

680

Right, it's not a safer option

s- just because there's no

681

ejaculate involved or something.

682

I think them sort of getting,

gleaning their own information and

683

passing it around, it's great, and

I understand why they have to do

684

it, but they get it wrong so often.

685

I remember there was a double bag

it myth going on, uh, at I don't

686

know if it was more widespread,

but at the u- my university.

687

There were kids who were like, "Yeah, put

on two condoms," like one on top of the

688

other, and that's somehow safer because

if one breaks, the other one won't.

689

And it's like, have we heard of Ms.

690

Friction?

691

'Cause she's a big part of the act

you're about to do with that thing.

692

no.

693

And then using what is it?

694

Oil-based lube, it melts the condom.

695

Beck: Yeah.

696

Silicone based.

697

If it's, if you use anything that's

silicone based it can melt your toys too

698

DashDash (2): We, like, if

you ever need a, a s- a sexual

699

wellness pre- presentation from the

Queernecks, we're happy to oblige.

700

Beck: Oh yeah, I talk, we,

701

we talk about all the things.

702

I like Sex Ed Day 'cause it's the

only day you get to play with lube

703

in class and nobody cares, you know?

704

It's, it's fun

705

DashDash (2): it's fun to be the

person who can give that to them,

706

Beck: Yeah.

707

DashDash (2): It's

708

Beck: Yeah

709

DashDash (2): It just f- I

always feel so good that they're

710

getting it at all, you know?

711

Beck: Yehaw

712

DashDash (2): a professional

713

to do ridiculous things and play

ridiculous stuff and demystify

714

Beck: Yeah.

715

I also put a condom over my

hand down to my wrist and say,

716

"Don't let them lie to you."

717

DashDash (2): Yes.

718

love that one too.

719

Magnum condoms don't need to exist.

720

They are pure marketing.

721

Like, well, on what you're doing,

they don't need to exist for the

722

size of a person's biological member.

723

Beck: Right

724

DashDash (2): lots of people put

their, put condoms over whatever

725

toys or inanimate objects they're

using, and those can be any size, but

726

Beck: If you're brave enough,

727

DashDash (2): Right.

728

Any- what is it?

729

There's, somebody, there's a joke.

730

Beck: If you're brave enough,

anything can be a butt plug

731

DashDash (2): Can it be a dildo?

732

Yeah.

733

Beck: Yeah

734

DashDash (2): It's true.

735

Lord God, what's the

episode gonna be titled?

736

Beck: Oh Lord, I don't

know Heathens on parade

737

DashDash (2): I wanna fix this and get

a base back on it though so I can sit

738

it out places and see if anybody…

739

It's, is a stupid thing to sell, you know?

740

Because, like, which I guess is why

they did it, ' cause if you, the,

741

if you put it out, somebody might

know what it is, and that's weird,

742

and potentially an HR violation.

743

And if they ask you what it is, you

have to lie, or it's an HR violation.

744

I guess, I guess you're not

supposed to put it at work.

745

It's supposed to be a- at home

when your friends, which I

746

have many of, they come to my

747

Beck: Oh yes, me too

748

DashDash (2): Mm-hmm, I have no idea

how long we've been talking, but

749

in case it's a long time, maybe we

should hear from this week's sponsor

750

All right.

751

Oh, glasses.

752

I found them.

753

I found my glasses.

754

Beck: Where were they?

755

DashDash (2): I cleaned.

756

They were, uh, under a new pile of

things I organized All right, this

757

episode of Queernecks is sponsored

by Non-Franchised Dairy Stand.

758

Summer is getting long in the tooth,

whatever the hell that means, so

759

you might be getting that itch

to squeeze as much in as you can.

760

Each morning, your head swims

with the novelties that belong

761

only to this sweltering season.

762

not that you can't find a way to

go swimming in the winter, just

763

like summer doesn't have a monopoly

on swamp ass and underboob sweat.

764

It's just that you'd never choose

it if there was a better way.

765

One such novelty is the

non-franchised dairy stand.

766

They will often scrounge you up a

burger glistening with grease, a poke

767

of french fries, or a shifty-looking

chili dog, but make no mistake, we

768

all came here for the borderline

NSFW things they can do with dairy.

769

It differs from the Cold Stones

and Dairy Queen franchises

770

of the world in several ways.

771

It'll be called something like Dairy

Bar, Dairy Queen with a K, Dairy

772

Princess, the gamut of dairy monarchy,

or their estranged y'alternative

773

relations like Frosty Holler,

Heifer Please, or The Witch's Tit.

774

Whatever the name of your purveyor

of brain freeze these past three

775

months, the true non-franchised

dairy stand is characterized by a

776

handful of non-negotiable factors that

combine to make it into the ephemeral

777

bright spot in the world that it is.

778

One is that you absolutely

cannot step foot inside.

779

Not just like there's no indoor seating.

780

There's no identifiable door.

781

We don't even know how

the employees got in.

782

Maybe they spawned in there

in April, and they return to a

783

deserved heavenly rest in September.

784

Another difference is that the business

and marketing decisions are entirely at

785

the whim of the local maniac whose family

the stand has been in for generations.

786

they're bowlers, the stand

closes early on league nights.

787

If they are anti-establishment,

they only accept cash or trade.

788

there's been a feud, there'll be

some mirror universe copy of it

789

across town that you need to wear

a disguise to patronize if you

790

want to keep your dilly bar supply.

791

Most importantly, though, these places

don't belong to corporate America.

792

They belong to the town.

793

Every family has their order memorized.

794

Every teenager has worked there,

dated someone who worked there, or

795

been dumped in the parking lot after

splitting a funnel cake sundae.

796

Little league teams celebrate there,

motorcycles idle, church crowds

797

descend after Sunday service like a

plague of politely dressed locusts.

798

cross-section of the town meets

here in the middle to renew

799

their membership to summer.

800

And then just as suddenly

as it appeared, it vanishes.

801

One day you'll drive by, and the windows

are boarded up, the picnic tables are

802

stacked, and the giant fiberglass cone

has disappeared into whatever off-season

803

dimension these places inhabit.

804

And you think, "Damn, I meant to

get one more peanut butter sundae."

805

But there's always next year,

assuming the owner's cousin doesn't

806

decide to turn it into a vape shop.

807

Beck: We've got one up here called Dr.

808

G's Mart, or, uh, not Dr.

809

G, it's Mr.

810

G.

811

Dr.

812

G is the drug mart that had the U out.

813

Uh, this is Mr.

814

G's Ice Cream Mart, and they

have, they ha- they have round,

815

year-round, uh, apple dumplings

816

DashDash (2): Uh, that,

that would be diabolical

817

Beck: Yeah.

818

I got one, not last time we were

there, but the time before that.

819

It's, uh, towards Air- it's

behind Airport Highway.

820

I don't know if you remember

where Airport Highway is up here.

821

DashDash (2): No, I

822

Beck: but yeah.

823

And then there's, there's

a couple of those.

824

We, we like the ones with

the drive-throughs, 'cause I

825

don't like walking up to it.

826

But in Portsmouth there's

one called The Dairy Cream.

827

Yeah.

828

My first job was at a dairy bar,

which is th- that kind … It

829

was a restaurant and a dairy bar.

830

They had two little windows you

walked up to, and you could order ice

831

cream or sundaes or banana splits or

milkshakes or malts or what have you.

832

That's how I learned how

to make an ice cream cone.

833

Mick Humpston's Dairy Bar

834

DashDash (2): In Corbin it was

called the the Root Beer Stand.

835

I don't know, maybe they made

root beer or something like that.

836

But they were known kind of for

their food too, their chili dogs and

837

stuff, but you could also get, like,

root beer floats and stuff there.

838

It closed down for a

little while, I swear.

839

But it appears to be back

open now, so that's cool.

840

If

841

Beer Stand recently, let us know

842

Beck: The one in Portsmouth

stays open year round

843

DashDash (2): The s- I guess

some of them or like they could

844

do that if the weather's nice.

845

The one in Carbondale, it like it opened

in April and closed in September, and

846

which is k- crazy because it's like that's

very not student oriented, you know?

847

It was like they could get a coup- they

could get some in before they left for the

848

year, but that was really about the town.

849

it was right on Main Street, and

you could sit on the sidewalk and

850

eat, you know, whatever you got.

851

Or people would just kind of

stand around in the parking lot

852

or walk down to a bar or something

853

I have some ice cream related

financial advice to give.

854

Beck: W- which is?

855

DashDash (2): I made a smart

investment decision last night.

856

Uh, I had to go down to the town

that the Dollar General is in.

857

The Dollar Gentral.

858

Have you seen those TikToks of the

859

Beck: Yeah.

860

DashDash (2): she works at…

861

Right.

862

th- I wanted a Heath bar.

863

I don't- it's, like, this candy that

me and my dad kind of bonded over.

864

He likes

865

Beck: Ko-Fi with chocolate, right?

866

DashDash (2): yeah.

867

And so I had a craving for one,

and I went into the gas station

868

there, and it was damn near $4.

869

Beck: Oh, wow

870

DashDash (2): "God almighty."

871

It was like 3, 3.20

872

something, but, you know, with tax.

873

And so I was like, I'm not gonna do that.

874

That's stupid."

875

But then I turned around, and there's

the Dairy Queen across the street,

876

and they have a Heath for, like, $5.

877

Beck: Oh, wow

878

DashDash (2): So I went over to the Dairy

Queen, I sat in their drive-through for

879

25 minutes, I got me a Heath Blizzard.

880

And I hadn't had that shit in…

881

It has been literally years,

882

Beck: Yehaw

883

DashDash (2): I ate that thing.

884

It's a 20-minute drive

home, like, 18 minutes.

885

That thing was gone

before I was halfway home.

886

It was…

887

I was close to getting brain

freeze for the first time

888

in, like, 20-something years

889

Beck: Yeah.

890

My favorite right now there's

a … I don't know if you've ever

891

heard of Whit's, uh, Custard.

892

They're a little chain.

893

They're all over the place.

894

There's one in Piketon down

home, or Waverly, I don't know.

895

Anyway they sell frozen custard

instead of frozen ice cream,

896

and one of their specialties was

called the, uh, the Tiger Paw.

897

And basically, it's hot fudge and hot

raspberry sauce with macadamia nuts.

898

It is heavenly

899

DashDash (2): Dude, I just Googled it.

900

These images are a war crime.

901

These need to be censored.

902

Blur that shit out

903

Beck: It's beautiful.

904

It's one of the best reasons to go

home is you get to stop at Witt's

905

DashDash (2): It, it looks like they're

a l- there's a good spread of them out.

906

They're down into Tennessee.

907

Never heard of them.

908

Now I'm, I'm gonna look, look

for it whenever I get back home

909

Beck: Nice.

910

They're good.

911

It's better than ice cream, IMO

912

DashDash (2): I don't, it

I hear what you're saying.

913

I don't know the difference

between custard and ice cream

914

Beck: Right?

915

I think, uh, custard has more egg

916

DashDash (2): I don't think, I don't think

ice cream has egg in it at all, so yeah.

917

Uh,

918

Beck: But I could be wrong about that

919

DashDash (2): Custard

must contain at least 1.4%

920

pasteurized egg yolk alongside

milk, cream, and sugar Okay?

921

So that's why it's got that texture.

922

And then ice cream is just milk, I guess.

923

It also has a requirement of some sort.

924

It has

925

Beck: Sugar

926

DashDash (2): a certain amount of dairy

fat Sort of melts slower than ice cream.

927

Cool

928

Beck: It's much smoother

than ice cream too

929

DashDash (2): yeah.

930

I remember it w- in, uh, Richmond in

931

Beck: Mm-hmm.

932

DashDash (2): that was the first

time I'd had frozen custard,

933

and it, it really was a…

934

That was, like, a, a very

important discovery for me.

935

Also, their burgers are incredible

936

Beck: Culver's right now has a lemon

cooler w- that you can get strawberry in.

937

Oh my God, my diabetes cries every time

I pass that place, but jeez is it good.

938

It is so good.

939

I make Shannon get them

so I can have a drink

940

DashDash (2): Do you do that thing

where you switch, like in the

941

summer you have your cold treats

and in the winter you do warm ones?

942

Or is, are

943

Beck: Oh yeah.

944

DashDash (2): year round?

945

Beck: Shana's an ice cream

eater all year round.

946

sorry, I have the hiccups.

947

But I generally like warm

things unless it's summer.

948

If it's summer, I want ice cream.

949

Oh, this is miserable

950

DashDash (2): Can you get rid of

hiccups with, by holding your breath?

951

Have you ever been able to do that?

952

Beck: Usually if I take a

couple of sips it will go away

953

DashDash (2): I used to get hiccups all

the time when I drank, like, alcohol.

954

And it is…

955

such, it's like a really

disempowered feeling.

956

You're

957

Beck: Yehaw I'm just trying to

say a sentence and it won't let me

958

DashDash (2): Maybe you're hungry

959

Beck: I pr- yeah.

960

We had Taco Bell earlier, but I am hungry.

961

We're gonna … I have to go to

Kroger and get our groceries so

962

I can make spaghetti for tonight

963

DashDash (2): Ooh, spaghetti sounds good.

964

It's been kinda chilly here, and

it's I think done things to my

965

mood because it feels like fall.

966

Beck: Yehaw

967

DashDash (2): Even though fall

really is around the corner

968

I was thinking about the Wheel

of What Have You I, uh, and, you

969

know, we can add more things to

it if anybody has suggestions.

970

Leave, like, comment on wherever you

listen the Spotify or the YouTube, or send

971

us an email at [email protected].

972

You know, what, thing

would you like us to do?

973

But w- should we, like, put in some blanks

so that there's some days where it's just,

974

you know, a regular us talking about shit?

975

Or should we keep every day where

it's structured with something?

976

Beck: I like having the

extra side quest every week.

977

gives it something to

be, make them special

978

DashDash (2): Yeah.

979

I'm cool with that too.

980

I just wanted to make sure we

weren't, like, overdoing it.

981

And the idea that our show could

be overproduced is hysterical

982

We literally, like we do like,

uh, I do like a half hour of

983

writing and some thinking,

984

Beck: Yeah

985

DashDash (2): and that's

all the prep we do.

986

Not to spill the beans.

987

Well, in that case then I guess we

better spin the Wheel of What Happened.

988

Oh, you wanna give us a noun

of Appalachian interest?

989

Beck: I do, I do.

990

This is a, a group this week.

991

This week's noun of Appalachian

interest is the Melungeon people.

992

The Melungeons were mixed ancestry

families who lived mostly in Eastern

993

Tennessee and Kentucky, and in

Southwestern Virginia, especially around

994

Newman's Ridge in the Vardy Valley.

995

They are generally a mix

of African American, Native

996

American, and white people.

997

For years, people tried to

explain where they came from.

998

Theories included Portuguese sailors,

Turkish settlers, lost colonists,

999

shipwreck survivors, and pretty

much anybody who may have passed

00:44:12,728 --> 00:44:16,358

through North America carrying a

suitcase and an interesting accent.

00:44:16,748 --> 00:44:20,508

The historical records tell a less

dramatic but far more useful story.

00:44:20,788 --> 00:44:24,618

Many Melungeon families descended from

the free people of African and European

00:44:24,618 --> 00:44:29,438

ancestry who lived in Virginia and North

Carolina before the American Revolution.

00:44:29,756 --> 00:44:32,336

Some families also had

Native American ancestry.

00:44:32,616 --> 00:44:35,756

They later moved deeper into Appalachia,

where they formed communities and

00:44:35,756 --> 00:44:37,336

raised generations of families.

00:44:37,626 --> 00:44:41,156

This is actually the story of Beck's

paternal family's line move into Kentucky.

00:44:41,471 --> 00:44:44,101

The word Melungeon was

originally used as an insult.

00:44:44,151 --> 00:44:47,791

in a society that demanded everyone

00:44:47,791 --> 00:44:50,051

fit into strict racial categories.

00:44:50,371 --> 00:44:54,191

Government officials often labeled them

free people of color, which could affect

00:44:54,191 --> 00:44:57,601

their voting rights, their education,

their property, and even their marriages.

00:44:57,991 --> 00:45:00,681

Because of that, some families

said they were Portuguese or Native

00:45:00,681 --> 00:45:02,911

American, Black Dutch or Black Irish.

00:45:03,181 --> 00:45:04,941

Sometimes that was the family tradition.

00:45:04,951 --> 00:45:06,451

Sometimes it was protection.

00:45:06,811 --> 00:45:09,221

In those days, the answer

you gave about your ancestry

00:45:09,224 --> 00:45:10,654

could change your entire life.

00:45:11,034 --> 00:45:14,182

Today, some descendants

proudly identify as Melungeon.

00:45:14,502 --> 00:45:18,492

The name that once pushed people aside has

become a way to reclaim family history.

00:45:18,922 --> 00:45:22,312

And no, finding one unexpected

result on a DNA test does not

00:45:22,332 --> 00:45:23,872

automatically make you Melungeon.

00:45:24,152 --> 00:45:26,722

That's genealogy, not Appalachian Pokémon.

00:45:27,042 --> 00:45:30,802

You cannot collect one of the mysterious

ancestor and unlock a new identity.

00:45:31,045 --> 00:45:33,655

The story of the Melungeon

people is not really about a lost

00:45:33,655 --> 00:45:34,835

race hidden in the mountains.

00:45:34,835 --> 00:45:37,679

It's about a mixed family

surviving a society that refused

00:45:37,689 --> 00:45:39,059

to let them define themselves.

00:45:39,379 --> 00:45:41,639

And that is your noun of

Appalachian interest for this

00:45:41,639 --> 00:45:43,089

week, the Melungeon people

00:45:43,689 --> 00:45:43,929

DashDash (2): Cool.

00:45:44,529 --> 00:45:46,509

Yeah, what a politicized identity.

00:45:46,609 --> 00:45:52,509

Like will scapegoat that identity

a lot, or that m- sometimes I

00:45:52,509 --> 00:45:55,729

think that's the new, like, "My

grandmother was a Cherokee princess."

00:45:56,345 --> 00:45:56,725

Beck: Right

00:45:57,325 --> 00:45:59,185

DashDash (2): And why

would you want to have…

00:45:59,245 --> 00:45:59,625

I don't know.

00:46:00,115 --> 00:46:04,335

That's a whole nother tangent, like

people wanting to be minoritized.

00:46:04,345 --> 00:46:06,645

Like, that's something

that always kind of…

00:46:07,245 --> 00:46:10,545

If you knew what that experience

was like, you wouldn't romanticize

00:46:10,545 --> 00:46:12,695

it or whatever it is you're doing.

00:46:12,695 --> 00:46:14,275

I don't know what leads

a person to do that.

00:46:14,935 --> 00:46:18,495

Do you remember, this is off topic

and it's not to do with Melongeans,

00:46:18,695 --> 00:46:20,105

do you remember Rachel Dolezal?

00:46:20,705 --> 00:46:22,935

Beck: Oh yeah, if he

was trans i- transracial

00:46:23,535 --> 00:46:24,255

DashDash (2): Yeah.

00:46:24,855 --> 00:46:25,345

W- I don't…

00:46:25,425 --> 00:46:26,325

What is that?

00:46:26,345 --> 00:46:28,015

That's weird

00:46:28,615 --> 00:46:32,445

Beck: I agree, but when you, when

you kind of break it down, it's if

00:46:32,475 --> 00:46:36,925

culture is not a biological thing, if

it's a set of traditions and languages

00:46:37,285 --> 00:46:39,375

then why couldn't she be transracial?

00:46:39,975 --> 00:46:44,235

Why can't you decide to change your

traditions and your, uh, upbringing

00:46:44,235 --> 00:46:45,595

and your identity in that way?

00:46:45,964 --> 00:46:49,384

you know, a person if they really wanted

to study and, and take on the tradition

00:46:49,384 --> 00:46:51,134

seriously and do that kind of stuff?

00:46:51,434 --> 00:46:52,954

DashDash (2): It is different

than what she did though.

00:46:53,064 --> 00:46:55,334

She like black-faced herself

00:46:56,026 --> 00:46:57,266

Beck: Yeah, that's, that's different.

00:46:57,656 --> 00:46:58,606

That's, that's different.

00:47:00,303 --> 00:47:04,253

You shouldn't lie about who

you are in any regard, I think

00:47:04,471 --> 00:47:08,651

DashDash (2): I think what she did was

not quite respectful to their experience.

00:47:08,851 --> 00:47:11,831

That was very , that was

like LARPing, you know?

00:47:11,831 --> 00:47:14,861

Like very, that was very like my culture

is not your costume type of thing.

00:47:14,861 --> 00:47:17,521

Like we would problematize,

if that happened on film,

00:47:17,874 --> 00:47:18,984

we would problematize it.

00:47:19,307 --> 00:47:21,847

I don't know the answer to the

question about transraciality as

00:47:21,847 --> 00:47:26,257

an identity, but I do know that

she was a f- she was fucked up.

00:47:26,277 --> 00:47:27,007

What she did was

00:47:27,031 --> 00:47:27,371

Beck: Right.

00:47:27,671 --> 00:47:28,471

I'll give you that one.

00:47:28,609 --> 00:47:31,334

But I think the idea of it is something

that we should explore further.

00:47:31,599 --> 00:47:33,039

Well, let's do that.

00:47:33,249 --> 00:47:37,269

I'll get into my books and report back.

00:47:43,290 --> 00:47:46,620

DashDash (2): Oh, we were gonna spin

the wheel, what have you There it is

00:47:47,220 --> 00:47:49,820

All right, we'll see who we get spinny.

00:47:50,420 --> 00:47:52,680

It's again landing on

the thing we just did.

00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:53,720

Okay.

00:47:54,435 --> 00:47:55,285

There, we got a new one.

00:47:55,885 --> 00:48:02,705

It, we landed on joke thief, so

telling jokes, retelling jokes,

00:48:02,835 --> 00:48:06,495

or however we want to, do that.

00:48:07,095 --> 00:48:09,225

Maybe I'll find some

more social media jokes.

00:48:09,295 --> 00:48:11,455

Maybe I'll try to think

of some of my dad's jokes.

00:48:12,075 --> 00:48:15,695

I ma- I made him laugh really

hard on the phone last week,

00:48:15,696 --> 00:48:17,256

so I'm feeling good about that

00:48:17,856 --> 00:48:20,686

Beck: My, I, when, when I was in high

school, I got the senior superlative

00:48:20,696 --> 00:48:23,966

that I was the wittiest person in

my class, and my dad always said

00:48:23,966 --> 00:48:25,396

that I should've been the shittiest.

00:48:25,646 --> 00:48:26,696

He said it was a typo.

00:48:27,296 --> 00:48:28,696

That's the kind of humor my dad had

00:48:29,296 --> 00:48:30,076

DashDash (2): That's a good one.

00:48:30,146 --> 00:48:30,526

I don't…

00:48:31,126 --> 00:48:31,786

did get one.

00:48:31,786 --> 00:48:36,906

It was something to do with going pro in

music or something which did not happen

00:48:37,962 --> 00:48:37,982

Beck: Yeah.

00:48:37,982 --> 00:48:41,362

The, the kid that got the male wittiest,

'cause we had a male and a female, he

00:48:41,362 --> 00:48:44,992

was he has, uh, uh, cerebral palsy.

00:48:45,232 --> 00:48:49,492

He passed away a couple years ago, but

he was like one third the size of me.

00:48:49,492 --> 00:48:53,152

He was a tiny little guy, and I was not

a huge person in high school, you know?

00:48:53,502 --> 00:48:57,342

So for the picture we had him sitting

on my shoulders 'cause it was hilarious.

00:48:57,752 --> 00:48:59,372

PD Williams, I'll never forget him.

00:48:59,762 --> 00:49:01,252

Uh, yeah

00:49:01,364 --> 00:49:02,794

DashDash (2): Do you still

have any of your yearbooks,

00:49:02,794 --> 00:49:03,574

your high school yearbooks?

00:49:03,754 --> 00:49:04,744

Beck: all, I have all of them

00:49:05,344 --> 00:49:07,454

DashDash (2): I think

I've, I only ever had one.

00:49:07,524 --> 00:49:10,244

I only got my senior year

one 'cause they cost money

00:49:10,847 --> 00:49:14,397

Beck: Well, lots of libraries

have now, uh, put them online.

00:49:14,417 --> 00:49:18,147

So like go to the local library of

the town that you were in, and they

00:49:18,147 --> 00:49:19,747

might have your old yearbooks online.

00:49:19,747 --> 00:49:20,397

They do in Portsmouth.

00:49:20,397 --> 00:49:23,117

They have them back to like

the '30s online in Portsmouth.

00:49:23,117 --> 00:49:26,707

I was able to see my junior high

yearbook on, on the Portsmouth

00:49:26,707 --> 00:49:28,497

Public Library website recently.

00:49:28,787 --> 00:49:30,517

Like it was crazy.

00:49:31,704 --> 00:49:31,884

DashDash (2): Um, yeah, 'cause I remember

we, the, we always had to go through

00:49:31,884 --> 00:49:32,024

picture day, but I never saw the final

product, never until my senior year.

00:49:32,024 --> 00:49:32,104

And I'm pretty sure I still have it.

00:49:32,104 --> 00:49:33,184

It's kind of water damaged, but

I see it pretty regularly, like

00:49:33,184 --> 00:49:34,294

when I'm trying to do something.

00:49:34,894 --> 00:49:35,664

Maybe I'll dig it up.

00:49:35,664 --> 00:49:37,324

Beck: Mine are in a box

in the, in the bedroom

00:49:37,924 --> 00:49:39,754

DashDash (2): We could save it for show

and tell, but I don't wanna do that.

00:49:39,754 --> 00:49:40,264

I just wanna look

00:49:40,367 --> 00:49:40,767

Beck: Yeah.

00:49:41,177 --> 00:49:43,917

Maybe we'll unpack the next time

that we move to another house.

00:49:44,656 --> 00:49:45,814

DashDash (2): Yehaw man.

00:49:46,264 --> 00:49:48,454

I have to go do real

world adult things now

00:49:49,054 --> 00:49:50,844

Beck: I was supposed to get up

and go get my blood work done this

00:49:50,844 --> 00:49:53,154

morning, but I didn't again, so.

00:49:53,754 --> 00:49:56,784

And then I have to go get my toilet

seat from the amp- from the mailbox.

00:49:57,244 --> 00:50:00,174

Amazon likes to send things Postal

Service, and where I live in a

00:50:00,184 --> 00:50:03,624

big, uh, community, they won't

deliver anything besides just

00:50:03,624 --> 00:50:05,504

regular mail from the UPS or USPS.

00:50:05,799 --> 00:50:07,959

DashDash (2): That, they just

throw things at my front door.

00:50:08,559 --> 00:50:12,696

Beck: Yehaw Well, there's like

600 apartments in my complex.

00:50:12,696 --> 00:50:17,486

I can see why they don't, they're

re-striping the p- the parking lot today.

00:50:17,796 --> 00:50:20,986

They're always doing something kind

of, some kind of upkeep around here

00:50:21,586 --> 00:50:26,336

DashDash (2): Oh, a live wire fell off

of my house, uh, and I'm leaving town.

00:50:26,346 --> 00:50:28,366

If I come home and this pla-

this thing is burnt down, they're

00:50:28,366 --> 00:50:29,416

gonna think I did it on purpose.

00:50:29,416 --> 00:50:35,916

But it's just because people who had this

before did some illegal stuff, it broke

00:50:36,156 --> 00:50:38,806

yesterday, I don't know how to fix it.

00:50:39,096 --> 00:50:39,526

if the house

00:50:40,917 --> 00:50:41,937

Beck: where all are you going?

00:50:42,537 --> 00:50:45,647

DashDash (2): I I'm gonna go like, to…

00:50:45,867 --> 00:50:48,027

I can send you a screenshot of

the route I have planned out.

00:50:48,057 --> 00:50:53,617

I'm gonna go over Lake Michigan,

like between it and Lake Superior

00:50:53,617 --> 00:50:56,337

into the top of, like, the UP.

00:50:56,679 --> 00:50:58,459

Beck: That's one of my

favorite places in the world

00:50:59,059 --> 00:50:59,679

DashDash (2): yeah.

00:50:59,829 --> 00:51:02,779

And I k- kinda wanna look

for a spot to camp up there.

00:51:03,219 --> 00:51:08,169

And if I can, y- know, uh, stay for

a few days, y'all should come up.

00:51:08,179 --> 00:51:14,639

But then I'm gonna go down through, uh,

probably through Toledo into Kentucky

00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,599

Beck: It's like a 10-hour

drive from where, from Toledo

00:51:18,199 --> 00:51:18,809

DashDash (2): To the EP?

00:51:19,348 --> 00:51:19,758

Beck: Yeah

00:51:20,358 --> 00:51:21,678

DashDash (2): Yeah, it's far.

00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:21,848

Uh,

00:51:22,408 --> 00:51:24,002

Beck: Yehaw

00:51:24,696 --> 00:51:27,026

DashDash (2): trip, all the places I

wanna go, so I'm gonna have to choose

00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,300

Beck: Well, let me know when

you're coming through and I'll,

00:51:29,426 --> 00:51:30,536

make sure the apartment's clean.

00:51:30,536 --> 00:51:31,386

You can stop by

00:51:31,986 --> 00:51:32,316

DashDash (2): Yeah.

00:51:32,916 --> 00:51:33,356

Beck: Okay, cool

00:51:33,356 --> 00:51:34,076

DashDash (2): Ziggy?

00:51:34,676 --> 00:51:36,956

Well, let's get off here and be big kids

00:51:37,556 --> 00:51:38,196

Beck: All right.

00:51:38,206 --> 00:51:39,576

God, I don't know if I have to.

00:51:39,616 --> 00:51:40,906

I gotta go to Kroger, what's up

00:51:41,506 --> 00:51:42,486

DashDash (2): I have to clean some more.

00:51:43,086 --> 00:51:43,396

Beck: Yeah

00:51:43,669 --> 00:51:47,389

DashDash (2): thanks for hanging

out f- for another week, and, uh,

00:51:48,069 --> 00:51:51,279

hope you have a good week, I don't

remember the questions I asked you

00:51:51,279 --> 00:51:54,529

all, but you know where to find us if

you would like to answer any of them.

00:51:55,129 --> 00:51:56,549

Uh, do you know what a whoregon is?

00:51:56,949 --> 00:51:58,889

Have you ever seen an inflatable vagina?

00:51:59,049 --> 00:51:59,699

Let us know.

00:52:00,269 --> 00:52:01,379

say hi to your mom and them

00:52:01,979 --> 00:52:02,499

Beck: Bye