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Transformed Tirra - Wrap Up Episode
Episode 10 • 24th May 2024 • No Shame In The Home Game • Joyful Support Movement
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In this final participant episode of the season, Lacey and Sara sit down with Tirra to discuss her transformative journey in home management. Tirra shares her strategy of shifting her mindset to tackle her spice cabinet in just five minutes and her overall approach to making her home feel more aligned with her current stage in life. The episode highlights the importance of embracing imperfections, finding joy in daily steps, and recognizing the emotional connection between inner well-being and home care. The conversation is filled with reflections on growth, the significance of home-loving, and gratitude for the season's journey, ending on a note of sharing practical tips and heartfelt stories.

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Transcripts

Lacey:

Welcome to No Shame in the Home Game, the podcast that cares

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how your home feels, not looks.

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I'm Lacey, your co host, a little bit

in sadness today because this is our

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final participant episode of the season

with our, wonderful other co host, Sara.

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Hi, Sara.

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Sara: Hi, Lacey.

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When you said sadness, I was

like, Oh no, what happened?

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I don't know about.

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And then you said last of the season.

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But then I got happy again because

Tirra and I are connected off air.

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So when I still talk to Ashley

and Teresa, so I'm like, Oh

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no, like it's still happening.

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Yeah.

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Just not

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on air.

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Lacey: That's just fine too.

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I think as you and I have talked about

multiple times, this has been a really

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good season for us that we've enjoyed.

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and I think Tirra's story also is very

special and near and dear to our heart and

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that's, we're wrapping up her story today.

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Sara: Yes, again, all the kudos to the

participants for just embracing the

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process and Tirra is the perfect example.

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She got out as much as she

put in she did the work.

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So kudos to her.

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Lacey: Agreed.

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and now we at least have these

episodes that if we need a little Tirra

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Sunshine and Magic, we can just go

back and listen to them if we need it.

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Just a recommendation for others as well.

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Sara: little drop of

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sunshine in your

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Lacey: All right, let's jump into

our, again, this is also one of

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those where it's not, Lace is

not there because Lacey be sick.

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I'll see you all at the end,

but you're about to hear the

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wrap up conversation with Tirra

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Sara: Welcome back, Tirra.

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this is

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your episode three, our capstone.

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It's definitely not the destination Cause

we always talk about home management.

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is such an ongoing process and so really

it's just about giving you some tools

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and I just, I could talk to you all day.

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long, Ms.

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Tirra.

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Tirra: day.

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I

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feel the same

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Track 1: you're just such a delight.

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And I was just saying before I hit

record, you just look so Vibrant today.

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I always said your voice sounds

like sunshine, but now it's

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like you look like sunshine.

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you and I talked about this,

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in between this episode and the

last one, I just had my birthday.

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So I guess I have my

little birthday glow on.

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We have

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Track 1: Yes.

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Your birthday.

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Yeah.

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We had so many great back

and forth between episodes.

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You really leaned into utilizing

that in between support, which

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makes the world of difference.

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I'm always encouraging my clients.

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this is a very dynamic, active process.

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Like it's, it's going to be

different every day and I love

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that you really embrace that.

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You can tell that you're a

coach because you're like,

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were like,

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Track 1: you knew how to work

the process to maximize it.

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That's what I interpreted that as.

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Um, And, gosh, I don't even, it's hard

for me to remember where we left off

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with episode two with the participants

and where we were in between.

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I was just looking back at my notes.

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I circled a big old note

about your seasoning closet

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that you did that big purge.

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You sent me a message one day and

you were like, it was so easy.

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I noticed there was too much in my

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seasoning cabinet and you

pulled everything out.

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And then you were like,

it only took five minutes.

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When I heard that, to me it felt like

you had unlocked This new tool, and

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you're like, oh, this is really easy.

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I can do this in all these spaces.

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Is that what it felt like to you?

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to you?

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Definitely.

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it, the notion of it doesn't

have to take all day.

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Because it feels so busy that thinking

about even something as simple as the

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cabinet that has all my seasonings in it,

which I've had the thought of, Oh my gosh,

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I need to go through all these seasonings.

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Everyone keeps buying seasoning

and then we're not using them all.

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And they're just like, the

cabinet is just way too full.

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This is ridiculous years.

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I've been thinking this, but

to think, Let me just take five

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minutes and see what I can do.

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And I just, it just felt so

charged up and energized.

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I just went in and I just looked and

of course I have to make the decision.

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We're not thinking about it.

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If we are looking to see

how old it is, it's out.

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We're not trying to decide,

go through all of this.

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should I keep it?

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Or maybe I'm going to use it.

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Girl, you know you're not going

to use it because you have not

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used it in the last three years.

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It's out.

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And in the other part too, that

made me so proud that day is I told

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myself I'm seeing this to the end.

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So I just, went in on this whirlwind of

just getting it all out of the cabinet.

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And the issue that I also have

is I'll start cleaning and

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then it's you create a mess.

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Once you clean up because you just pulled

everything, we pull everything out.

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And so I told myself, see it through

till the end because I am a just

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I'm very devoted to recycling.

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So I can't just throw

stuff in the trash can.

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If I can recycle it.

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I've got to clean out the little jar,

the little can or whatever it is.

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And so I just told myself, find all

the ones that you can just scrape

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out and just pour out really quickly.

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Some might have needed to

soak for a little while.

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Go ahead, put water in it so

you can dissolve it and get them

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immediately into the recycle bin.

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And the sigh of relief.

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So yeah, it took about five

minutes to clean all of it out.

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And then I would say,

spend another 10 minutes.

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working on just getting all the containers

cleaned out and into the recycle bin.

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Track 1: That is so wonderful.

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And nothing changed, but your mindset,

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you stopped seeing it as

this impossible boulder.

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And you started seeing the little

rock that you could pick up, right?

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And that's so often with my clients,

they're paralyzed to go forward

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because they think it's so huge.

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And it's No, it's just five minutes.

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And even if the spice cabinet felt

like too much, it's okay, pick

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one shelf in the spice cabinet.

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Okay, just pull out five

spices and make a decision.

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pare it down until it's as

small as you need it to be.

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And so I'm like, I love that.

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that was all you and just the mindset.

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And I'm wondering too, this is

something I noticed with myself and

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my clients is, once you take the time

to do that with your spice cabinet,

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it's like when you go shopping?

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Are you thinking differently?

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when you pick stuff up and you're like,

Oh, do I want to be cleaning this out

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of my spice cabinet in five years?

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spice cabinet in five years?

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Oh, that is such a good point.

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yes, definitely.

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Spice cabinets and also clothing,

that's something else that I would say.

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I definitely, when I go, I think,

oh, do I really want to bring

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this into the house because Wow.

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This is something else I'm

gonna have to be in charge of.

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That's a really good point, Sarah.

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It does make me more conscientious

about what am I bringing in here

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and do I really wanna deal with it?

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And then I just start thinking

about all the stuff that is

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here or just got it cleaned up.

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Why would I do this to myself?

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Then it does, yeah.

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Lead me to A new choice.

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Track 1: And it leads you to a new choice.

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Oh my.

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You're just full of pearls of wisdom.

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I'm writing that one down.

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I love

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that.

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I do want to anchor this back into when we

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met, it started out as your

whole house no longer fit where

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you were in your stage in life.

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And when I met with you the first time,

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I heard

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your ambition and I matched it

and it immediately was too much.

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So we worked together we paired it down

and it It became focus on your office

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getting the feeling

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Track 1: feeling and maintaining your

office and then working on the other room

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that's on that top level in your house.

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So just like your spice cabinet, like

we just zoomed in to a smaller area.

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And then it sounded like it was

working, that you had a vision, you

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had a smaller bite size into it.

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And you kept leaving me messages

that you were making progress.

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So Can you tell me a little bit about

how that's been going in the past month

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and where you are with that top floor?

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that top floor?

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Oh yes.

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So definitely one of the things that

I said I would share today is there's

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something about having a desire to

want a better looking space or to

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have the space feel a certain way.

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And then there's a, it's something

different to actually create it.

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And I pretty much had felt like I gave up.

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Before I started working with you.

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And once I decided all I have

to do is focus on the top floor.

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I still have the thought sometimes

when I'm downstairs, I'm so irritated

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with how it looks down here.

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And then I just say, you know what,

I'm just going to go upstairs.

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That's what I have.

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That's what I, where I

have the most control.

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And so prior to, I had just given up

some, it would be like, sometimes I

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would clean up and then other times.

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I was just as messy because

I had just given up.

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But now with me saying, all I need

to do is focus on the top floor.

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It is so much more neat.

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And, it's like I get to

live how I like to live.

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I like when I wake up in the

morning, I want to make up the bed.

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And, it's first thing, this is how I live.

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This is who I am.

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I get to make.

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sometimes in the morning times, I

come and lay in the bed upstairs

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because my husband, he's up busy doing

things downstairs where we sleep.

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So I'll come and lay upstairs in

the room where my son's beds are,

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and I'll, just lay and meditate.

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Sometimes I journal.

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And so when I get up, I have this

special blanket that I just love.

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I'll link it to something

that you talked about.

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Having certain objects that

remind me of my children without

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needing to keep everything.

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So this blanket is one of those

things and I'll take my little blanket

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and I fold it up and smooth out the

comforter and I just stand and I

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just look at it like, Oh, it's neat.

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but definitely, it, before.

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It's I've just given up.

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So I would just take my jacket maybe

and just leave it on my chair or leave

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it on the edge of the bed or whatever.

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And here lately, I've been

like, we don't do that

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Tirra: anymore.

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Tirra, everything

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has its place.

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So then it goes in its place.

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And I just love those moments.

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My house is still not where I want it, but

I have made enough progress that I just

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stand and I just look like that is neat.

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It looks exactly how I want,

even if it's just something

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small, it makes me feel so good.

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and so the other part too, especially

when we talk about mindset is

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there are still times because I am,

making this progress and I did take

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several, there's been several days

where I just get all this energy.

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And I just will purge and,

I've made progress in that way.

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However, it's, things aren't

exactly like I want them yet.

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And so there are times when I come home,

Oh, things are not how I want them.

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And then I'll stand at the door as I

walk in and I'll say, you know what?

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That's not how we are thinking

about our home anymore.

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We have a plan.

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We've been making progress.

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And quite frankly, Tyler, that's,

Way of thinking isn't helping.

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It has not helped in the past.

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We're not doing it anymore.

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And then I'll just switch

the way I'm thinking.

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I'll walk in, walk through the

downstairs, go straight upstairs.

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And, and then, it's just

Oh, here, it feels so good.

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Like my incense, my

candles, and just be happy.

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it, I think I've accepted.

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It doesn't actually have to be

perfect as long as I just continue

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to have this new way of thinking

and Continue to work towards the

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vision that I have for my home.

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I can be happy in my home

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Track 1: Oh my gosh, there are so many

amazing good nuggets that you just said.

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And to touch on what you just said and

ended with is that's that phrase, which

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can be hard.

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it's in the journey, not the

destination, which is really hard

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Cause you're like, no, I'm working

towards X, but you just highlighted.

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No, you can enjoy your house every day,

even though it's not in your ideal place.

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,

I'm

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picking out the, everything you

said that will help our listeners.

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You're focusing on what you can control.

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No, I'm going to hang up my jacket.

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No, I can spend five

minutes on my spice cabinet.

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No, I can optimize my office, right?

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And you are finding joy.

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I'm getting goosebumps from

my ankles all the way up.

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You are finding joy where it's possible.

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And you're not letting the

journey take away from that.

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You're not done.

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You're still moving.

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But the more joy you feel from all of

those steps, it's the fuel to keep going.

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if

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Track 1: if you feel good every step

of the way, I mean, one day you may

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get to your house exactly how you want

it, but you're going to be like, Oh,

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well, I feel good this whole time.

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to your house exactly how you want it,

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but you're going to be like, I don't

know, so I feel good this whole time.

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We've got, one of my favorite quotes

is from Alex Haley, find the good and

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praise it because life is so precious.

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And, how can we maximize the

moments even in the imperfections?

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I'll tell you something else too.

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One of my shining crowning moments.

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Cause I know we've talked about my

homeschooling journey and being in

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retirement was seeing my son graduate.

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Even though I always felt like

I am imperfect as a person, I

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have struggled in the past with.

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Confidence and worth and value.

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And I used to describe myself as the

homeschooler who was totally imperfect.

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I would just say, I'm just

failing forward some kind of way.

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I'm making it work.

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And, I started homeschooling

before it was cool.

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I would have to deal with people who were,

who sometimes would make me doubt myself

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about my choice to homeschool my children.

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They're not going to be very

successful with you homeschooling them.

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And so when I saw him on stage

graduating, he had on this white

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uniform, of both of my sons, he's

gotten this really dark, color.

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And so that, that uniform, that white

Coast guard uniform was popping.

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It was just looking so good on him.

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Sarah, I have to send

you a picture of him.

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And, it was like glorious.

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And he graduated at the top, at

the top 10 percent of his class.

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And just everyone loved

him when he was there.

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Just, he was just a star.

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And what went through my mind was.

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Oh my gosh, something so perfect

from something so imperfect.

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I was like, Oh, I'm good.

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And that's how I feel about

this home loving journey.

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I came up with the word home loving.

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How can I love my home is in, in

having this conversation with you,

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something good is still here in the

midst of what seems to be imperfect.

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So i'm good, it's oh, everything

is good I'm happy It's important

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Track 1: it is.

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And I'm, you highlighted

so many good points.

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Again, I could talk to you all day long.

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I want to spin off podcast.

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Lacey and I already joked about having

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Sara: time with Tirra as like a

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Track 1: spin

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love that

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Track 1: you're so lovely to speak with

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you

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highlighted so many great points there.

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It's so much more than the home.

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it's rating 80, like what you take

out into the world, how you're

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interacting with people, how that

time was with your children, what

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that meant for him going out into

the Coast Guard, what that's going

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to mean going forward.

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It's so easy to overlook,

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that

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Track 1: but it is the fundamentals that

we are spending our time in our energy,

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and I love that you called it home

loving, because that reiterates, if you

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love your home, it's going to support you.

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It's very full circle.

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And I really liked that you highlighted

that stumbling forward and that imperfect

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journey, because if you wait for something

to be perfect, when is it going to happen?

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And I learned a phrase years ago, and

I love it, it's imperfectly perfect.

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And I love that, I'm just

like, yeah, no, that's life.

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it's never going to be like, with the

bow on it and all like picture perfect.

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You've got to just keep showing up, like

you said, finding joy where you can,

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what do find the good and praise it.

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And praise it.

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Track 1: And that's where you

are, that's where I'm hearing

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you are in your home right now.

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It's not where you want it, but

you are finding the good And you're

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praising it and I love that you

highlighted that blanket that reminds

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you of your children, because I when

I work with people and they'll tell

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me about these really precious items

And i'm like, are you honoring these

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items if they're that precious?

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Why are they buried underneath?

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old boxes And you can't get to it?

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it And

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Track 1: And so I love that you

pointed that out, because it's like

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now you're actually really savoring

that item that's special to you.

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And you're, and you can enjoy

it even though the rest of your

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house isn't how you want it.

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Oh my gosh, that

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Track 1: that is just, I hope

somebody listening feels inspired

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that no matter what your house looks

like right now, you can love it

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some,

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Track 1: in some, you can find

control to love it in some way.

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Hang up your jacket, Wash one dish.

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Right?

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Like just one step.

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And that's,

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where

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Track 1: always where

I try to get people in.

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And then that fuel of that one thing

feeling good is going to lead you to that

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spice cabinet purge for five minutes.

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:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

going to lead you to spice cabinet first.

367

:

Mhm.

368

:

Track 1: In highlighting your journey

as a home educator, we had talked about.

369

:

How your home was sort of a reflection

of that previous period in your life and

370

:

taking time to really honor That you had

a teaching career Even though you don't

371

:

get a pension even though you didn't get

a retirement party but taking time to

372

:

honor yourself and then also helping other

373

:

homeschooling parents to

learn how to honor their time

374

:

has did anything come up and it's okay

375

:

if nothing did, but I just didn't

know, did anything come up as a way

376

:

that you want to honor that time or

some kind of ritual or just something.

377

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

degree, it's like working with a coach.

378

:

You get that reframe

and it's Oh, I'm good.

379

:

it's yeah, I had just to hear you,

this is, you have affirmed me so much.

380

:

What you just said in the moment

ago, I'm like, yeah, I am a educator,

381

:

even though I got no pension,

there was no like actual salary.

382

:

Becky Mollenkamp is how

we found each other.

383

:

And I remember talking to her one

time in a coaching session and she

384

:

Tirra: was like, Tirra, I want you

385

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

to add up all the money that

386

:

you would have been paid

for everything that you did.

387

:

And I went through and added it all up.

388

:

It was a huge amount.

389

:

I don't even remember what it was.

390

:

And so it's I just need people

to reflect those kinds of things

391

:

back to me, but I do plan on doing

something to honor homeschool

392

:

parents, but I haven't done it yet.

393

:

Track 1: well, and anyone listening,

yeah, whether you're a homeschool

394

:

parent or, whatever it is honoring

how much we do in a day and how much

395

:

of it is not appreciated, but we can

appreciate ourselves in one another.

396

:

And for you to pay it forward

to other homeschooling parents,

397

:

it's going to be part of that.

398

:

It's just going to grow.

399

:

Right.

400

:

and yeah, it starts with

appreciating ourselves.

401

:

and what we

402

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

does.

403

:

I just want to say, I remember when

my kids were very young, I don't even

404

:

know if we were homeschooling yet.

405

:

And I remember just being so angry that

they're all just sitting around playing.

406

:

And my husband is watching TV.

407

:

Everyone was just chilling and

I was in the bathroom cleaning.

408

:

And then I thought to myself, you

know what, they may not really, it's

409

:

not like they don't appreciate me,

but it's just not on their radar.

410

:

I'm like, but I appreciate me and

it helped me because I was, I went

411

:

to undergrad, I went to grad school.

412

:

I had this career planned

out until I had children.

413

:

Of course, I wanted to

be a stay at home mom.

414

:

but I had done a lot of career

development stuff first.

415

:

And so to become a stay at home mom,

I was like, I just feel like a maid,

416

:

a second class citizen until just like

what you've been talking about today.

417

:

I made that shift in my mind.

418

:

Like, no, I'm doing the best work.

419

:

I love what I'm doing.

420

:

And it changed the way that I

took care of my home at the time.

421

:

It was like, I am doing

the best work ever.

422

:

So yeah, having that self appreciation.

423

:

Of what we do and seeing it within

the big picture and also understanding

424

:

society has classified these levels of

what is a value and worth, but do I have

425

:

to receive what society says is true?

426

:

No, the only thing that matters

is what I decide about the

427

:

value that I bring to the world.

428

:

And so making that shift around

being a parent and raising a child,

429

:

because it's homeschool moms and,

people who are raising children and.

430

:

those who work, everyone is

having to make these choices.

431

:

Cause I know women who don't have

someone who comes in and keeps the house.

432

:

They go to work, then they come home,

they have to take care of the kids.

433

:

We can all end up feeling

some kind of way, but we just

434

:

have to make the decision.

435

:

We're just gonna, I think about the,

I want to say like the wild women, or

436

:

we think about these personalities.

437

:

They're just larger than life.

438

:

It's like nothing gets them down.

439

:

And it's because they're just

rolling with it and they're choosing

440

:

to not have a lot of judgment.

441

:

Of what's going on.

442

:

And I have always been like, I

wish I was like that person, And

443

:

so that's, I think a good way.

444

:

That's what I'm hearing from you.

445

:

That's going to stick with

me today is I may roll in.

446

:

Can I even make a joke?

447

:

Can I get myself to a point

where it's like, ha ha ha.

448

:

Walking in and, here's all this

mess again, but at least I know my

449

:

family's here, like they're here.

450

:

Cause if they weren't here, this

mess wouldn't be here, or whatever.

451

:

So hope that made sense.

452

:

That was a little ramble.

453

:

Track 1: No, I love that.

454

:

And just going back and yeah,

pulling out some of those good

455

:

nuggets about, loving your home,

appreciating the work that you're doing.

456

:

Yeah.

457

:

Even though it's not seen as like

our society, like you said, has

458

:

this construct of importance, but

yet, as I said in the beginning,

459

:

Our home, we overlook it so

easily, but it is so important.

460

:

It is the foundation.

461

:

So appreciating, okay, I'm doing I'm

cleaning this bathroom, and yeah, it seems

462

:

so mundane and boring and not appreciated,

but I'm loving my home so I feel better.

463

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

and it's

464

:

Track 1: and it's again, that mindset,

which is a hundred percent in our control.

465

:

We don't have to wait for society

to catch up to our mindset.

466

:

choices.

467

:

And it's amazing how easily again,

just cleaning is overlooked.

468

:

It's can you imagine if you checked into

a hotel room and it hadn't been cleaned?

469

:

It's vital!

470

:

You know what I mean?

471

:

so just thinking about it.

472

:

And that's what we can do for

our next generation, is reframe

473

:

all this stuff.

474

:

No, if you have a home,

you're going to respect it.

475

:

You're going to love and appreciate

it and you're going to scrub

476

:

that toilet because that's what

that means It's not a gender job.

477

:

It's not I mean I could go off forever

But so I think that's the gift we

478

:

can give to the next generation and

You had something else in there.

479

:

That was such a good nugget Oh when

you come home and the house is a

480

:

mess, it's not like how you want

it I always think back to my sister

481

:

lives in this neighborhood And she

has four kids and She has a neighbor

482

:

who, her lawn was always impeccable.

483

:

Yeah.

484

:

Everything was always like, the

grass was always equal height.

485

:

Nothing out of place.

486

:

And my sister's yard had bikes and balls.

487

:

and it was just a lot.

488

:

And my sister one day apologized

to the neighbor and just said,

489

:

Oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed.

490

:

Yours always picked up.

491

:

My house is always a mess outside.

492

:

And the neighbor smiled And

she goes, Oh, I love it though.

493

:

That means that you have

life going on at your

494

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

on in your house.

495

:

She

496

:

Track 1: said, cause she, her kids

were out of the house, and she's

497

:

I had that time in my life, and I

miss the vibrancy and the vitality.

498

:

And she said, so when I see all that

in your yard, I know y'all are living.

499

:

And I always think about that when people

get stressed about their homes not being

500

:

picked up and ready for a photo shoot.

501

:

I'm like, that's not

502

:

life.

503

:

A house is for living, Which is a verb.

504

:

It is an action.

505

:

A photo shoot is a freeze frame and

we don't live in a freeze frame.

506

:

your house had so much life.

507

:

It was a school.

508

:

It was where your family ate

and did everything like your

509

:

house served so much life.

510

:

And

511

:

so it's going to take time to shift that.

512

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

good.

513

:

Wow.

514

:

Yeah.

515

:

Let's see.

516

:

Again, you just dropped so many gems

that I'm like, yes, that is correct.

517

:

My house was serving and so

many different capacities.

518

:

And it's going to take a

little while to get it shifted.

519

:

And we're still living.

520

:

We're not living in a

freeze frame photo shoot.

521

:

Oh my gosh, that is so good.

522

:

And also the other thought that's

coming to me today as I talk

523

:

to you and listen to you is the

notion of having this perfect home.

524

:

It truly is a judgment

against me is how I feel.

525

:

It's Oh, I don't have this picture perfect

home because society has sold it as,

526

:

and there are some people

who I know they were born.

527

:

To do interior design.

528

:

They like to have things neat.

529

:

It's just who they are, but it's

the values that we're placing

530

:

on it that I'm struggling with.

531

:

And I think the thing to think

about is a lot of us actually don't

532

:

live these picture perfect homes.

533

:

Why are we trying to do this?

534

:

What we want to do is

me, I'll say what I want.

535

:

I want to live in a house

that just feels good.

536

:

Good.

537

:

That allows me to do the things.

538

:

And I remember hearing you

and Lacey say this early on.

539

:

I want to, I want a house that allows

me to be my best self either while

540

:

here, or as I go out into the world.

541

:

And to that end, the question is

what actually really needs to happen.

542

:

do I need to change furniture or not?

543

:

what needs to be cleaned out?

544

:

Do I need to bring something new in?

545

:

I remember the desk that I have in my

office, I got tired of the old desk.

546

:

And one day I was just like.

547

:

It was just like with the spice cabinet.

548

:

I'm done and I found this desk at

Costco And I was like boom buying the

549

:

desk right here right now because I'm

done with the other one bringing in a

550

:

new one because it's More aligned with

who I am you're aligned home, right?

551

:

So yeah

552

:

Track 1: And that's the key is

aligning it to you as an individual,

553

:

not aligning to an external society

expectation, which is what we've done.

554

:

And I could go into the history of

why I think that is, which is based

555

:

on that expression of cleanliness

556

:

is next to godliness.

557

:

There became this external

judgment of you are holy if your

558

:

house is maintained and kept up.

559

:

And that phrase was,

560

:

I'm not going to go into the origin

of why that even was a phrase,

561

:

but at the time that phrase became

popular, women spent 24 7 365,

562

:

maintaining the home for the most part.

563

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

Wow.

564

:

That's

565

:

Track 1: And that's not

where we are anymore.

566

:

So I think there's a, I think there's

something like set in us that we just

567

:

don't even recognize and to change it,

like I said, going forward, what we can

568

:

control, like we are here, but let's

think about what we can do going forward.

569

:

And I always say the biggest thing

we can do, don't judge our own homes

570

:

and don't judge your neighbor's

571

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

judge your neighbor's home.

572

:

Track 1: If you don't like

how it feels for you thinking,

573

:

Oh, what if somebody saw this?

574

:

It's like.

575

:

Well, then don't judge anyone else's

576

:

start Break at the cycle right now

And Like you said some people are

577

:

born to be the interior designer.

578

:

Some people excel at that And that's

great, but we're not all the same.

579

:

We don't all want to run a marathon

We don't all want to sculpt clay.

580

:

We're all different.

581

:

So why do we expect us

to all manage a home?

582

:

the same?

583

:

That's ridiculous And that's

our choice to break that

584

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

And

585

:

Track 1: external expectation.

586

:

And also going back to, gosh,

you said so many good things.

587

:

cause there's just so many things.

588

:

And I got on a little rant

and I got really excited.

589

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

was so good.

590

:

That was so insightful.

591

:

I never thought about, why do I?

592

:

why do I have this standard

that feels like I need to

593

:

have a photoshoot ready home?

594

:

Like where in the world

did that come from?

595

:

It never crossed my mind.

596

:

So I'm definitely going to

be looking into what you're

597

:

talking about with this history.

598

:

Track 1: two things for me that led to

me doing this work is one, I traveled

599

:

all over the country in my twenties and

I stayed in all these different homes,

600

:

friends, family, friends of friends,

every house I went to, I'm not joking.

601

:

You, the woman of the

house said, I'm so sorry.

602

:

Please excuse the mess the spectrum

could have a hundred data points

603

:

and no two of them overlapped

Every person said that and I was

604

:

like, that's weird all parts of

the country all state all different

605

:

like shapes and sizes of houses all

different conditions Every single

606

:

person said that and then when I

started working and helping busy working

607

:

moms Every mom had that disconnect of

oh, i'm so embarrassed how my house

608

:

looks It's not perfect and i'm like

609

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

i'm

610

:

Track 1: But nobody's is.

611

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

Huh.

612

:

I it

613

:

Track 1: who do you think is?

614

:

And it's wait, can we all just be honest?

615

:

That's why I wanted to do No shame in

the home game, because let's all open

616

:

our front doors wide on any given day

and go, this is what my house looks like,

617

:

this is life, this is not, I'm picking

it up for Thanksgiving and dusting

618

:

my dust, my baseboards and shoving

everything in a closet and locking it.

619

:

This is what my house looks like.

620

:

Cause this is life.

621

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

right.

622

:

Track 1: So that's, yeah, that's why I'm

so passionate about the work that I do.

623

:

Because that shame, and that

guilt, and that embarrassment drags

624

:

us down and keeps us from being

the best version of ourselves.

625

:

And nobody's got time for

626

:

that.

627

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

it's interesting, Sarah, I

628

:

have noticed the same thing.

629

:

I know no matter who's home I go to, I

have seen the house looks immaculate I'll

630

:

come in and they'll be like, Oh, excuse.

631

:

It might be a dish in the sink.

632

:

I'm like, Oh my God,

you should see my house.

633

:

If you are saying you're sorry for that.

634

:

And then of course, those of us

who Whose homes are well lived in.

635

:

We are for sure saying, Oh

my gosh, excuse all of this.

636

:

I have noticed that I liked that.

637

:

You said open that front door

and said, say, this is who I am.

638

:

We're coming out of the cave.

639

:

We're coming out of the dark.

640

:

We're shining the light on all of

this and we're going to be proud.

641

:

Sarah?

642

:

Track 1: Yeah.

643

:

And it starts, with us.

644

:

I,

645

:

too have that initial gut response.

646

:

My neighbors often help let out my dog.

647

:

when we're gone for long periods of time.

648

:

And I always have this initial,

I go to text, please excuse

649

:

the mess, and then I stop.

650

:

and I'm like, nope, I'm like, no,

because I want them to know that I'm

651

:

going to walk into their house, and

I'm not going to judge their house.

652

:

And they're going to walk into

my house and know, oh, she had

653

:

10 different things going on,

654

:

she's got life happening too.

655

:

And that's how we're going

to start to break that down.

656

:

And,

657

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

it made

658

:

Track 1: it made me think too when you

were talking about going to somebody's

659

:

house and seeing how good it looked.

660

:

so part of my work is I

actually am a home manager.

661

:

for people who don't have time.

662

:

And I was at somebody's house and she's,

she runs this very powerful company,

663

:

very busy and somebody was in her house

664

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

house

665

:

Track 1: and I was there and the person

666

:

introduced me and then

the person visiting goes,

667

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

Oh,

668

:

Track 1: Oh, I always wondered how

you kept your house so immaculate.

669

:

And my client goes, Oh, I don't do it.

670

:

She's like, I can't do it all by myself.

671

:

And she was honest.

672

:

if we can start being honest.

673

:

Oh, I hire somebody to do this.

674

:

I pay somebody to do this.

675

:

Oh, I or, Oh, this is what my house

really looks like when I don't

676

:

do a frantic 45 minute pickup.

677

:

let's just start being honest.

678

:

see what happens.

679

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

You know, I had someone do that one time

680

:

I said to her, why is it every time I

come to your house, your house is neat.

681

:

Cause I like picking people's brains so

I can figure out, if I'm not that way

682

:

and someone is, how can I, what can I

adapt or adopt from them and do the same

683

:

to get a better outcome that I want?

684

:

And she said, girl, I

don't play in my house.

685

:

I have a housekeeper.

686

:

I was like.

687

:

Makes all the sense in the world.

688

:

She actually is one of the ones who

inspired me to want a housekeeper.

689

:

I'm like like when you get

someone to come and help you.

690

:

That's what I'm talking about So yeah,

and like you said she was honest and

691

:

that helped me It's like oh just go

get a housekeepers like so simple

692

:

right if I can afford it get one.

693

:

I love that

694

:

Track 1: I too, I like

to ask people like, Oh,

695

:

I like that quality.

696

:

How did they get there?

697

:

I have this friend that I had my son,

as an infant and she had four kids

698

:

So I turned to her for lots of wisdom

and one of the areas I was struggling

699

:

with was paper management And I

noticed my friend who had four kids.

700

:

I never noticed paper So one day I just

said hey, do you mind sharing with me?

701

:

what is your paper management system?

702

:

You always seem so on top of it.

703

:

And She laughed and said, Oh my goodness,

if you opened that double closet in the

704

:

hallway, you would see bankers boxes.

705

:

filled with paperwork.

706

:

She goes, Oh, I hate doing paperwork.

707

:

She's like, it doesn't get done.

708

:

You just don't see it.

709

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

it.

710

:

I love it.

711

:

Track 1: And

712

:

I was like, Oh,

713

:

okay.

714

:

She's human too.

715

:

Okay.

716

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

story for me that around that is

717

:

there was a mom I was hanging out

with and I can't remember how we got

718

:

on talking about paper, but she was

like, Oh, let me tell you my trick.

719

:

She said, as soon as it comes in the

door, it's going in, from the mailbox,

720

:

either I'm going to use it and it goes

in a certain pile or it's going in

721

:

trash recycle bin, wherever she put it.

722

:

I, that was probably

easily over 10 years ago.

723

:

And that's that I started training myself.

724

:

So like you're saying, when we start.

725

:

Talking to other people and

finding out what's really going on.

726

:

First of all, we, it's

okay, we're all human.

727

:

And so this is great.

728

:

So no shame in the home game.

729

:

And, but also we can learn tricks

and tips, I'm like, wow, all these

730

:

years, I don't even remember her name.

731

:

I barely remember her face,

but I remember what she said.

732

:

And yesterday I went, got

something from the mailbox.

733

:

And I was in the middle of doing

something and I set it down and later

734

:

when I came in, I was like, Oh, that is

just, it needs to go in the recycle bin.

735

:

But yeah, just, Let's support one another

you know, we can learn from one another

736

:

and we can just feel okay by learning.

737

:

We're all working on this

together in some way.

738

:

And perhaps those who are more

experienced or they just have a

739

:

natural inclination for keeping

the home a little bit more tidy or

740

:

whatever the language we want to use.

741

:

For me, I like to watch you all

and, and learn and it helps me.

742

:

And then for those of us who are

a little bit more I'm a little

743

:

bit more of a free flowing person.

744

:

Maybe things are together.

745

:

Maybe things are not y'all can come hang

with us and we'll show you something

746

:

that, that you can learn from us.

747

:

So we're all just going to be

teaching and supporting one another.

748

:

I never fully, maybe I've thought

about it when I was younger, when

749

:

I had my, when my children were

younger, but now that I'm older and

750

:

less connected to moms in that way.

751

:

Maybe I need to remember, I still

need to be talking up to women

752

:

about home management, home loving,

and what are things that they're

753

:

doing that are helpful to them.

754

:

And, just to feel normal about it

and to continue to help myself grow.

755

:

because I do want to actually be

someone who Naturally is more inclined

756

:

to not accumulate a lot of stuff.

757

:

It just isn't working for me anymore.

758

:

I don't like it, but I

have a propensity for it.

759

:

I'm just being 100.

760

:

So it helps me to hang

out with other people.

761

:

Cause then I get to watch what are,

what is this neat person thinking

762

:

when she's doing whatever she's doing,

or he's doing whatever he's doing.

763

:

They're doing whatever they're doing.

764

:

What are they thinking?

765

:

And I, how can I adopt those

thoughts and make it a part of

766

:

something that I'm doing also?

767

:

Thank you for sharing all of that.

768

:

that's very helpful moving forward.

769

:

Mhm.

770

:

Mhm.

771

:

Track 1: again, for everyone listening,

it's all about breaking down those

772

:

walls, realizing either, maybe you

weren't shown how to do these things,

773

:

which I talk about in the home CEO

course, which is like our grandparents

774

:

generation, it was very defined.

775

:

And then our parents generation,

your mom went back to work.

776

:

My mom went back to work.

777

:

It all got lost in the wash.

778

:

And.

779

:

Even if you were shown how to do it,

maybe it doesn't match your lifestyle.

780

:

And so we can crowdsource

this information.

781

:

Instead of being embarrassed or ashamed

or thinking, oh, everybody knows this.

782

:

It's no, let's just be

honest about what's working.

783

:

Cause then you can pick and choose

oh, I like how they do the paper.

784

:

Oh, I like how they do their laundry.

785

:

you just start talking it all out.

786

:

And yeah.

787

:

And if you love your home and it

feels easier, then you'll feel

788

:

better than everyone else out there.

789

:

Feels better.

790

:

And

791

:

We're starting a very,

happy revolution here.

792

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

Happy revolution.

793

:

I want to share something with you

too that came to me along this vein.

794

:

I shared it with you, but I

just want to share it here.

795

:

And one of the breakthroughs that I had

was recognizing my inner world, my mood,

796

:

My emotional state is directly linked

to how I am taking care of my home.

797

:

And I remember when I was a little

girl, I connected being whenever

798

:

I would get a little overweight, I

connected it to how I felt and my mood.

799

:

and I think I used to be that way

a little bit too with my home.

800

:

I've never been the neatest person.

801

:

I don't lean towards neatness.

802

:

I lean towards chaos.

803

:

and so I would always feel like I

just need to get myself together

804

:

and I would just clean and clean.

805

:

But of course, once I had children,

I just didn't have the opportunity

806

:

to do that because maybe something

was going on with my children Little

807

:

kids are going to do what they do.

808

:

They don't know, have a concept

of neatness necessarily.

809

:

So it, I just couldn't use

that as a way to gather myself.

810

:

But in all that I was, that I've been

doing and working with you, I remember

811

:

having a moment where I recognize

my inner landscape, my emotions.

812

:

And how to a certain degree,

I was thinking my house was

813

:

making me feel some kind of way.

814

:

And I guess it's full circling us

back to what we talked about earlier.

815

:

I was thinking my house was making me

feel a certain way when in all actuality,

816

:

it may have been a reflection of just.

817

:

How I was feeling on the inside.

818

:

And so again, like you have said, it's

not necessarily about what we're seeing

819

:

or even how we're acting in terms of

how we're caring for our homes, that it

820

:

might be a reflection of something else.

821

:

And if I could recognize that,

then I take all the burden off of.

822

:

Tirra: Tirra, why are

823

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

you not, this neat person in your home?

824

:

And I actually get to deal with what's

actually going on, which, I have been just

825

:

a little bit down and out here lately.

826

:

And, for the last few years, even with

adjusting to being, a stay at home mom.

827

:

And now in, I feel like there's some

things emotionally That I have gotten a

828

:

little bit more settled on the inside.

829

:

And it, I think what I'm trying to say is

I've unlinked, whatever is going on with

830

:

my inner world, or at least I've been

able to highlight it and see how my home

831

:

is actually a reflection of maybe some

care that I need to bring some healing

832

:

that I need to be bring to the inside.

833

:

And it, it totally changes what I see.

834

:

I hope that makes sense.

835

:

Track 1: It does.

836

:

I think it's a back and forth, right?

837

:

I think it's an ongoing reflection

both ways and recognizing, like you

838

:

had said, it's not about it, the house

839

:

being one way in order to make you feel

a certain way, it's how am I feeling

840

:

inside, and then that'll support it.

841

:

it's, it's a back and forth, and

842

:

Sara: oh, Tirra, I just I

843

:

Track 1: can't thank you enough for

being open to this journey, for sharing

844

:

this I, my joy, and my hope, is that it

helps other people, and you were willing

845

:

to let us into your home, to open that

door, to show us what was going on.

846

:

And you were a little hesitant

at first cause you didn't

847

:

know me and you trusted me.

848

:

And

849

:

I thank you for that.

850

:

And

851

:

if this helps one other person, I mean

I feel like it already helped you.

852

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

did.

853

:

But if

854

:

Track 1: but if it helps one other person

855

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

going to be

856

:

Track 1: it's going to be worth it.

857

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

and that's

858

:

Track 1: that's how we're

going to make the change and

859

:

you are part of that change.

860

:

And I just, I thank you so much

and I really hope we can keep

861

:

in touch because I don't want

to lose you now that I know you.

862

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

want to lose you.

863

:

Oh, so much again.

864

:

We appreciate this.

865

:

I

866

:

Track 1: Oh, well,

thank you so much again.

867

:

I appreciate this.

868

:

I wish you the best of luck on

everything going forward and

869

:

remembering it's every

day, it's an opportunity.

870

:

And it's not about a set.

871

:

It's got to be this or that or the other.

872

:

It's just Using all the

tools going forward.

873

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

I know that I'm a different person.

874

:

I

875

:

Tirra: am not the Tirra who started

876

:

spiritual-coach-and-guide--she-her-_1_03-26-2024_090413:

out with you three months ago.

877

:

And, uh, you know, you talked

about how radiant I look and so

878

:

much of that is because the weight

of how I had been thinking and

879

:

feeling about my home is now gone.

880

:

So yeah, the world is a better place.

881

:

Even if one person Offload

some Burton like that.

882

:

So thank you Sarah.

883

:

Thank you for the work you are doing.

884

:

This is revolutionary.

885

:

Track 1: You

886

:

do seem transformed.

887

:

We're going to call this

888

:

Sara: transformed

889

:

Tirra.

890

:

Track 1: you are much

more relaxed and at ease.

891

:

than when the first episode,

892

:

it's really noticeable.

893

:

So Thank you.

894

:

so much.

895

:

Mhm.

896

:

Sara: Oh, it does feel a little

monumental is too big of the word.

897

:

It does feel.

898

:

Looked like a bookend.

899

:

When you close a chat, when you close a

really good book, like you're a little

900

:

sad, but you're also really glad.

901

:

So yeah, that was a bit of a closing

902

:

of a really good book,

903

:

but it was worth it.

904

:

I'm

905

:

so glad for the journey.

906

:

Lacey: Totally worth it.

907

:

And next week, Sara and I will do a wrap

up episode, talking about all of our

908

:

thoughts and feelings from this season.

909

:

And then we'll move to talking with

some experts every other week until

910

:

we get season three up and running.

911

:

So just a little business stuff so

people know what's coming up, but

912

:

I'm just so honored to be a part of

our participants journey this season.

913

:

They're so cool.

914

:

And man, the joy ripple,

you can just feel it.

915

:

I

916

:

Sara: Did you see Tirra posted her

certificate of appreciation for herself?

917

:

Lacey: I loved it so

918

:

, Sara: if you want to see what Tirra

did for herself, I was scrolling

919

:

and I saw it and I just started

crying because she took the time to

920

:

create herself this certificate of

appreciation for homeschooling, for

921

:

being the teacher for showing up and

she really put her heart into it.

922

:

And so I thought, Oh, like that's what she

needed and she did it and it felt good.

923

:

Everybody

924

:

needs that.

925

:

Everybody that note, Lacey has

made a dalting points certificate

926

:

whenever I need some adulting points.

927

:

Cause I did something like, I don't

know, my taxes or fix the refrigerator.

928

:

I'm like, mama needs some

929

:

Lacey: Yeah.

930

:

I have an image I can post for you.

931

:

adulting points

932

:

, Sara: I know it's easy to laugh,

but I actually feels good.

933

:

Cause I need that validation.

934

:

And.

935

:

Tirra needed it and got

it from herself, which is

936

:

Lacey: and totally deserved it.

937

:

She's the bomb.

938

:

She deserves that.

939

:

Sara: She is amazing.

940

:

Should we jump into gratitude?

941

:

Lacey: we should.

942

:

Do you want to go first?

943

:

Sara: It is spring and I am just thankful.

944

:

I love the seasons.

945

:

Let me see it.

946

:

That's what I'm, that's

what I'm thankful for.

947

:

I know not everyone has seasons where

they are and I, the older I get.

948

:

I get more wise.

949

:

I'm just joking.

950

:

I just wanted to be silly.

951

:

The older I get, the more I really

appreciate the seasons because I

952

:

like, I love when winter started.

953

:

I'm like, yes, I'm ready to

954

:

slow down and hunker in.

955

:

And then yeah, you get to a

point where you're like, I get

956

:

to a point where I'm like, okay,

957

:

this bear needs out of this cave.

958

:

I am done being inside.

959

:

I need some sunshine and I can

finally start to feel the spring

960

:

and the birds and the green and the

961

:

flowers.

962

:

there's some not so great things that come

along with it, like pollen and mosquitoes,

963

:

Lacey: I've never really had

bad allergies, but man, do I?

964

:

You could probably hear it.

965

:

I'm having awful allergies this year,

so yeah, that's what my cough is.

966

:

Sara: Yes.

967

:

Very familiar with those,

but I'm just, I, my moment of

968

:

gratitude is appreciating this.

969

:

the changing of seasons

and the changing of pace.

970

:

Like I am now more energized to

do more projects and that's fun.

971

:

But I also know that I'll get

really burnt out on it and then

972

:

I'll be glad that it's fall.

973

:

Oh,

974

:

Lacey: of the seasons.

975

:

Spring is my favorite season.

976

:

I think it's a very optimistic season.

977

:

There's so much ahead of us.

978

:

And so this is my favorite

time of year for sure.

979

:

My son keeps asking, is it summer yet?

980

:

I think he's like, we're going to go

to the beach and we're going to swim.

981

:

That's what summer means to him.

982

:

So he just wants it to be summer so bad.

983

:

Sara: I remember that feeling as a

984

:

kid.

985

:

I always felt like summer was

half the year when I was a kid.

986

:

And now that I'm adult and I look

at the calendar, I'm like, it's 10

987

:

weeks.

988

:

So what are you looking, what are you

989

:

Lacey: I am grateful for my tarot cards.

990

:

Let me just say, I am a, have never

really been a woo type person.

991

:

But I've been embracing that

more and it's been a fun journey.

992

:

But what I really love about the

tarot cards that I bought, they're

993

:

like really simple ones, I've bought

other packs, but I still keep going

994

:

back to this simple tarot pack.

995

:

And I just love that , it essentially

gives me a framework for a story

996

:

and define meaning in my life.

997

:

So I don't necessarily think

that I'm predicting the

998

:

future or anything like that.

999

:

What I'm doing is I'm giving

myself, prompts to tell a story.

:

00:50:16,527 --> 00:50:21,157

And so I, yesterday I did

one for myself in motherhood.

:

00:50:21,167 --> 00:50:23,307

It was mother's day yesterday

when we were recording this.

:

00:50:23,837 --> 00:50:27,197

And so I'm, I wanted to think

about my motherhood journey.

:

00:50:27,587 --> 00:50:31,727

And I did a spread that was

past present future and boy.

:

00:50:31,947 --> 00:50:34,637

Did it give me so much?

:

00:50:34,647 --> 00:50:40,087

Cause it, the way the card's read is in

my past, I had this desire to be this kind

:

00:50:40,087 --> 00:50:45,967

of wise, all knowing woman and be like

everything for everyone, know everything.

:

00:50:46,387 --> 00:50:52,275

And then, My present is like

literally broken cups, there's

:

00:50:52,275 --> 00:50:53,745

opportunity in those cups.

:

00:50:53,765 --> 00:50:58,315

And then my future was, I don't remember

the exact number, but it was about

:

00:50:58,475 --> 00:51:01,195

finding joy in the process and work.

:

00:51:01,465 --> 00:51:03,825

I'm like, Oh yeah, that's right.

:

00:51:04,365 --> 00:51:07,255

I need to not like, it just

told this beautiful story.

:

00:51:07,445 --> 00:51:10,105

And then I took it, we went to my

parents house yesterday for a little bit.

:

00:51:10,105 --> 00:51:14,805

And I did readings from my two of my

sisters and it also really helped them

:

00:51:14,815 --> 00:51:20,605

and so I just love the opportunity

that it gives for reflection.

:

00:51:20,625 --> 00:51:24,225

And like I said, I don't think

I'm just, predicting the future.

:

00:51:24,265 --> 00:51:27,145

And I am looking for

meanings about me in them.

:

00:51:27,195 --> 00:51:28,145

that's literally the point.

:

00:51:28,145 --> 00:51:31,565

So if you're saying I'm making it

up, I am, I'm telling you I am.

:

00:51:32,245 --> 00:51:36,555

but it really, when it made a great

conversation with me, it helped

:

00:51:36,555 --> 00:51:40,175

me like talk with my sisters about

what's going on in their worlds.

:

00:51:40,175 --> 00:51:43,095

And I got a better understanding

about their thoughts and feelings.

:

00:51:43,115 --> 00:51:46,785

And I just, I just had this moment where

I'm like, Oh, I'm so thankful for them.

:

00:51:47,085 --> 00:51:49,645

it's been a lovely

little journey with them.

:

00:51:50,385 --> 00:51:51,635

Sara: Thank you for sharing.

:

00:51:51,745 --> 00:51:54,155

that made me happy because you're right.

:

00:51:54,155 --> 00:51:56,765

It is so much more than just the

:

00:51:56,835 --> 00:51:57,825

woo ness of it.

:

00:51:57,835 --> 00:52:03,695

It is framing it, interpreting, like you

said, giving yourself context for your

:

00:52:03,695 --> 00:52:07,965

story and seeing meaning and purpose in

it, and then connecting that with others.

:

00:52:08,485 --> 00:52:14,125

I had a therapist that I worked

with, He used a tool, which was

:

00:52:14,165 --> 00:52:16,575

to frame things in the story of,

:

00:52:16,865 --> 00:52:18,235

that whole, like Joseph Campbell,

:

00:52:18,325 --> 00:52:19,335

The Hero's Journey.

:

00:52:19,725 --> 00:52:23,765

And he encouraged me and his other

patients to use that framework.

:

00:52:24,235 --> 00:52:28,855

And that was like the way through

was to see the arc of the story.

:

00:52:28,895 --> 00:52:32,885

And I was like, wow, if I did that on my

own, I don't think I would have done on

:

00:52:32,885 --> 00:52:35,782

my own, but here I have this healthcare

professional, guiding me through it.

:

00:52:35,782 --> 00:52:38,472

And so when you were saying

that, I'm like, yeah, we all get

:

00:52:38,472 --> 00:52:40,682

to use that story for better or

:

00:52:40,682 --> 00:52:44,312

worse to help frame our lives and carry us

:

00:52:44,507 --> 00:52:44,857

Lacey: Yeah.

:

00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:48,777

that's what tarot cards are, you learn

about them is they have different

:

00:52:48,777 --> 00:52:51,837

suits and there's a major arcana

and minor arcana, but they're about

:

00:52:51,847 --> 00:52:54,647

journeys in specific areas of life.

:

00:52:54,647 --> 00:52:59,997

And so when you pick a card, it's just

saying this plot point of this journey.

:

00:53:00,717 --> 00:53:02,067

And so that's really what it is.

:

00:53:02,487 --> 00:53:07,677

as we were talking to, I remembered, this

weekend, my son was very upset and we

:

00:53:07,677 --> 00:53:09,847

went through, our joyful support steps.

:

00:53:09,847 --> 00:53:11,237

He and I went through it with him.

:

00:53:11,357 --> 00:53:12,797

We were sitting on our swing outside.

:

00:53:12,797 --> 00:53:16,377

He was very upset about

coloring a card for Grammy.

:

00:53:17,117 --> 00:53:22,457

And we were sitting there and we got

to a place of calm and I said, are

:

00:53:22,457 --> 00:53:24,137

you ready to do something about this?

:

00:53:24,137 --> 00:53:25,277

And he says, no.

:

00:53:25,367 --> 00:53:28,387

I'm like, okay, what if we look

for something to make us happy?

:

00:53:28,397 --> 00:53:30,417

So we were looking for our spot of joy.

:

00:53:31,067 --> 00:53:33,857

And then I said, buddy, can I

tell you what I think happened?

:

00:53:33,887 --> 00:53:35,287

And I told the story.

:

00:53:35,287 --> 00:53:37,377

I'm like, let me tell you the

story of what I think happened.

:

00:53:38,167 --> 00:53:40,714

and then we sat there again

for a little bit and I said,

:

00:53:40,734 --> 00:53:42,064

are you ready to take a step?

:

00:53:42,064 --> 00:53:44,224

And he was like, yeah, I guess.

:

00:53:44,264 --> 00:53:45,104

And I just had this moment.

:

00:53:45,104 --> 00:53:50,114

I was like, joyful support steps in

action, sharing our story, you know,

:

00:53:50,214 --> 00:53:51,944

but it really did in that moment.

:

00:53:51,964 --> 00:53:55,264

Cause you know, as a parent, you just

want to fix the situation, right?

:

00:53:56,004 --> 00:53:59,724

And it really made me slow down

and be like, wait, No, we're

:

00:53:59,724 --> 00:54:02,144

going to, we're going to try

some of these other things first.

:

00:54:02,144 --> 00:54:04,224

So we looked around, we were thankful.

:

00:54:04,434 --> 00:54:06,484

My son was actually thankful for snow.

:

00:54:06,494 --> 00:54:09,074

Cause he liked playing in

the backyard in the snow.

:

00:54:09,864 --> 00:54:13,034

and I told him, I was like, but cause

he was mad at Iris or something.

:

00:54:13,034 --> 00:54:13,634

And I'm like, no.

:

00:54:13,634 --> 00:54:15,834

You, I'm the one who did this and this.

:

00:54:15,834 --> 00:54:20,694

And so we were able to craft story with

more context to help him move forward.

:

00:54:20,694 --> 00:54:23,214

And it was just, and then we took a step.

:

00:54:23,214 --> 00:54:26,494

So I just, I wanted to

share that little win of.

:

00:54:26,759 --> 00:54:32,079

Our little joyful support steps in action

as a tool for working through stuff.

:

00:54:32,235 --> 00:54:33,145

Sara: A tool for life.

:

00:54:33,285 --> 00:54:35,015

I Love hearing that because, you know, I

:

00:54:35,015 --> 00:54:40,565

know as a kid, these three steps for

me would have been super helpful,

:

00:54:40,785 --> 00:54:41,095

right?

:

00:54:41,105 --> 00:54:47,555

It's not ignoring the pain, which I was

taught as a coping mechanism, yeah, you

:

00:54:47,555 --> 00:54:52,405

can still hold the good with the not

good and then figure out what can you do.

:

00:54:52,455 --> 00:54:54,425

And I love that.

:

00:54:54,525 --> 00:54:55,595

That's my joy.

:

00:54:56,395 --> 00:54:57,023

Lacey: you were talking about

:

00:54:57,335 --> 00:54:58,575

seasons, I'm like, Oh yeah.

:

00:54:58,575 --> 00:54:59,495

And then talking stories.

:

00:54:59,495 --> 00:55:01,925

I'm like, now I have to tell it

because this incorporates all the

:

00:55:01,925 --> 00:55:03,765

things that we're talking about today.

:

00:55:03,979 --> 00:55:05,269

Sara: yeah, wait, I

have another gratitude.

:

00:55:05,309 --> 00:55:06,809

I finished a book last night.

:

00:55:06,849 --> 00:55:09,549

So I was really thankful for mother's day.

:

00:55:09,549 --> 00:55:13,359

I realized all I wanted to do was drink

coffee and read and that's what I did.

:

00:55:13,449 --> 00:55:14,439

And I finished a book

:

00:55:14,439 --> 00:55:20,029

yesterday and it was such a beautiful,

I can't say the name of it because I

:

00:55:20,029 --> 00:55:21,659

cannot pronounce this woman's name.

:

00:55:22,304 --> 00:55:24,344

It's like Climestra or something.

:

00:55:24,364 --> 00:55:27,944

It's a goddess or not a

goddess, a princess from Sparta.

:

00:55:28,264 --> 00:55:30,504

And it's about all these

things that happened to her.

:

00:55:30,524 --> 00:55:32,004

And then I was, I never do this.

:

00:55:32,004 --> 00:55:35,954

I was reading like this author's interview

and she was talking about how important it

:

00:55:35,954 --> 00:55:40,104

was to tell the woman's side of the story

and how she's remembered a certain way.

:

00:55:40,104 --> 00:55:43,444

But if you look at the context

of everything and it really helps

:

00:55:43,444 --> 00:55:48,114

explain and give more fullness

to all of her decisions and.

:

00:55:48,914 --> 00:55:50,224

Oh my gosh.

:

00:55:50,244 --> 00:55:54,694

It just, it's been like rattling in

my brain ever since I put it down.

:

00:55:55,134 --> 00:55:57,450

Oh So good.

:

00:55:57,515 --> 00:55:58,005

Lacey: book.

:

00:55:58,205 --> 00:55:59,025

I love a book.

:

00:55:59,295 --> 00:56:00,665

I think that's all for today.

:

00:56:01,205 --> 00:56:01,595

Sara.

:

00:56:02,335 --> 00:56:03,255

Sara: That's all for today.

:

00:56:03,265 --> 00:56:04,975

Thank you, Lacey.

:

00:56:05,175 --> 00:56:05,965

Lacey: Sara.

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