269: The Dynamic Duo Who Are Changing the Entrepreneurial Game

Artwork for podcast Burnout To All Out Podcast

Episode 269 • 26th November 2024 • Burnout To All Out Podcast • Melissa Henault

Melissa Henault:

Today, we're going to pivot into the second pillar, or I should say the third pillar of how we elevate. And that is business. Because we can do all the inner work, and we can have all the friends, but if you don't have a strategic portal for income, none of the rest of it matters. Right? But all of it matters to be most successful to operate at our highest frequency. Then with 2 of my dearest friends, and incredible humans who really embody doing the work and also showing up in a really big way when it comes to their portals

Melissa Henault:

But I'll start with Laurie,

Melissa Henault:

and Laurie may not even know this, because you didn't know who I was a decade ago. But I knew who you were. And I've seen you on stage as a powerhouse for over a decade, inspiring me. For over a decade inspiring me, of the series of opportunities to recreate and just live life all out and empower so many other people along the way. You are just an incredible human being. And I just want you to know that. That's my personal bio for Lori. Let me let you know what a badass she is, because I know some of you are in my LinkedIn world, and don't hang out over on Instagram that often, and you have no idea how powerful this human is that's in this room.

Melissa Henault:

So let me give you her formal body. She has built 3 separate 7 figure businesses. She's the founder and CEO of the Beauty and Wellness Company, Glosi. She's the best selling author of A Tribe Called Bliss, a transformational speaker and the host of the Earn Your Happy podcast with over 65,000,000 downloads. Okay? Her career started in fitness as a 3 times fitness world champion, 11 times fitness cover model and gym owner. And she has thousands of students attend her events, go through her courses, and be in her membership programs. And her biggest passion is creating products and companies that support ambitious women to grow their business and dreams. So, Lori, come up to the stage, my friend.

Melissa Henault:

My God. So hot. Yes, we're matching. Yes. Come on up. I'm sorry I separated you guys, but you're both so larger than life. You have to have separate introductions. Okay? Okay.

Melissa Henault:

Personal bio on this guy, actually, Chris the the 1,000,000 in 19 months. The 1,000,000 in revenue in my first year. And there was a moment in that trajectory where I was like, I I am reverting back to this burnt out human that I was in corporate. I've traded my 9 to 5 for a 5 to 9. Anybody been there? And I was like, I I'm afraid I'm gonna have to go back if I can't find someone who can mentor me in a different way. And what I saw in him was he was living the lifestyle and still scaling an incredible business and making his family, his friends, his life a major priority and living a very healthy life. So I reached out to him and said, Kris, I don't need to make another dime next year. I don't mind just doing exactly what I did last year.

Melissa Henault:

I just need your help showing me how you're doing this, how you're living. And through a series of almost 3 3 years we've been working together, he has mentored me and in that year, I said, I don't need to make another dime. We grew 380%. I worked less, spent more time with my family, took 14 vacations, and started to invest in real estate. Right? So that's my personal bio with Chris is finding a mentor who's living the example, so that they can show you the way. And for Chris's professional bio, so that you know his background, executive and partner in the banking world, and has invested in and helped guide over 20 other startups, ranging from CPG to tech. He actually invested in my business. We'll have to talk about that at some point.

Melissa Henault:

His podcast, the Chris Harder Show, has over 7,000,000 downloads and growing. Co founder of the new Fintech app, Frello, Chris and his business partner, Matt, will positively change the way we borrow and lend money forever. Chris, welcome to the stage. So excited to have you guys here. Alright. Come on up, guys. This is gonna be fun. These are comfortable.

Melissa Henault:

Thank you.

Melissa Henault:

Oh, okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. How was the flight in? Easy. So what made you, slow down the the line getting off the plane?

Chris Harder:

Oh, that was getting on the plane. Just some seat switch something. Yeah. Not sure.

Melissa Henault:

Alright. This is gonna be fun. So, Chris and Laurie, the very first question I would love to jump into with you guys because one of the big things we talked about yesterday is purpose and impact in what you do. And, I It was maybe a week or 2 ago. I think it was you, Chris, that made a post about how you and Laurie are most excited and just in momentum in your businesses when you have alignment and purpose in what you're doing. Can you speak a little bit to that? Because I know you guys And we'll get into this. You've had many iterations in in new evolutions in business and offers and what you do and as you go through business and you go through entrepreneurship, there's moments where you lose your way and you kind of forget, like, the purpose. Like, why did I get started? So do you guys want to speak to that a little bit?

Chris Harder:

Absolutely. You wanna go first or me?

Lori Harder:

Go first.

Chris Harder:

Okay. So, just so I can get an idea from you guys, hand up if you feel like you have momentum in your business right now. Be real. Perfect. And now hand up if you feel like you're kind of stuck. K? And hand up if you feel like you're both. See, that's the real thing right there. That's the real thing right there.

Chris Harder:

I'm both right now. I've started a massive Fintech company. It's called Fellow, a friendlier loan, and it match makes those that have an urgent need and those that would lend to the person that have an urgent need, and we protect the loan and move the money and do all this stuff. Except when you get involved in something like that, there's a few things, you know, the the term ignorance is bliss. If you knew what you were about to encounter, you wouldn't actually do it. Anybody else feel that? It's real. But once you're in, you're in. And that's the difference between those that make it across a finish line or not, is you have to decide, I stepped into this.

Chris Harder:

Now I'm gonna step all the way through this, and I'm gonna see this all the way through to the end. And the amount of regulatory, the amount of attorney's calls, the amount of government agency calls, the amount of all those things that I never thought I would have to do Yeah. That I spend my life on Zoom doing right now

Lori Harder:

Zoom fatigue.

Chris Harder:

Is horrible. But simultaneously to your question Mhmm. This is also the most fun and the most excited and the most, like, lit up I've ever been about anything I've ever done in my entire business career. And the fact that those two things can exist simultaneously is what you have to be okay with. And when you actually accept that as fact, you no longer dwell on, you know, this went wrong or I have to make this pivot or this feels like a disaster or I'm waking up at 3 AM every single morning. You no longer dwell on that and instead you feed off the energy of I also get to build the biggest thing I've ever built. I also get to help these people. I also get to bring this really cool thing to the market that hasn't been there before.

Chris Harder:

And you get to choose which one of those categories you're going to lean into and get your fuel from.

Lori Harder:

Mhmm.

Lori Harder:

I love that. Good morning, everyone. I'm so excited to be here. Melissa, thank you so much for having us again.

Melissa Henault:

Thank you so much for coming.

Lori Harder:

This is our favorite thing to do, truly. Like, to be in rooms with all of you guys. I see some familiar faces. So, you know, for for me, it's really easy for everybody, I think, to get caught up in the numbers. Who just sets that goal and then that's all you can that's all you can remember. You're like, I forgot why I'm doing this. I don't even know, like, what was the whole purpose because you just get so caught up in feeling like you have to meet, meet those numbers and hit those goals. Who is that in here? Like, it's really easy, especially especially once you start getting a team.

Lori Harder:

You're like, oh my god. This is all I can think about. So, you know, it's it's going back and consistently either being in rooms like this, being a part of programs, or having friendships that remind you, like, hey, we are so lucky to get to do this. We are so lucky to be in this room, you guys, just to even remember why we're doing it. And I think that when I think of purpose, there's always 2 things in your business and your life of why you're doing it. And, you know, the the the first one is the problem that you set out to solve with your business. Right? The reason why you want to help these people. The reason why you want to solve that problem.

Lori Harder:

And the second one that people forget about, but I think is so important, is the permission that you are giving other people and the road map and the playbook of you just even stepping into your dreams. So you have to think of who's watching you, who have you who you've inspired. Could be who are you inspired look look at by Melissa stepping into doing this event, how many of you said to yourself, okay. I'm gonna take that as, like, a nudge. That if she can do it, I can do it. Like, just by her doing this, you're like, okay. If I can just go be in her presence because she did it, that I could probably do it too. Right? And and that's something that we do every single day.

Lori Harder:

This whenever we decide to overcome a fear or get a little bit of courage, like, you are inspiring so many people. You don't always hear it right away. But as you guys get into years years of this, that is the part that literally keeps us going. Is when we get to hear people who message us and say or like in your intro, I'm like, I did not know these things. That's like, I can't quit now. You just ruined me. Like Yeah. So that's a those are big ones that we always try to tap into.

Lori Harder:

And, you know, it's nice if you don't have a partner doing this with you, like, finding an accountability partner in this room that you connect with frequently. Because Chris and I now have so many people around us and we have each other to remind each other daily. Like, when we're on our walks and we get so overwhelmed with the to do list or with a big challenge that's happening, because we have plenty of them now. It's like, oh, we we signed up for this. Yes. This challenge is turning us into the people that we want to be and that can handle the big blessing. Because if we can't handle this, we can't handle the big blessing coming from it.

Melissa Henault:

Yes. You know, we I did a big talk on this yesterday about how the challenge is what changes us

Melissa Henault:

Yes.

Melissa Henault:

And that we have to embrace it. Right? Love this so much. Okay. So, I'm gonna Let's move into pivots because this is something that you guys have done really well. You know, you guys have pivoted in your brands, you've pivoted in your offers over the years. You've just had a series of iterations of really successful businesses and coaching programs and running live events. And, I think my question for each of you, because I know like, Laura, you went from celebrity fitness competitor to being top in network marketing, to being the guru in personal development, to running these coaching programs and having these live, massive live events, and then switching into the product space and launching a product. Right? We heard with your bio as well, Chris, like you started off as an executive and you've made many iterations of transformations yourself in business.

Melissa Henault:

And my question to both of you is, when do you know that it's time to make a pivot? Because I know you and I have talked about this. Again, I'm selfishly getting free coaching up here, you guys. Because we also talk about how when something's going really well and it's bringing in a lot of revenue, there I see this myself with clients that I coach that sometimes, or a lot, we get the shiny object syndrome of like, well, but this is my passion, and this is what I wanna go do. And then the thing that was funneling like the revenue, like dries up and sometimes it can be a bad decision. Right? And sometimes, it's the right decision. So I guess my question is, since you guys are kind of like experienced in this space of pivoting and pivoting well, is when do you know that it's the right time when you've ridden this ridden out this show long enough that it's time to close that chapter and move to the next one and do it with calculated risk. Does that make sense?

Lori Harder:

Mhmm. Okay.

Lori Harder:

I don't I don't think you can always know right away. I think that just like with anything, as you make decisions and you'd get the data from that decision, you're going to be able to make a better choice the next time. So I think that it's it's it's really important to, first of all, know that as you're pivoting that you might make a wrong decision. And it wasn't a wrong decision, it was a right decision because it gave you the data for what you what you need to do. So, you know, there have been times where I think I pivoted way too soon. And I I also don't regret that because it it served me in some other form. But one of the ways that I can always tell, like, I wouldn't even call it necessarily a pivot. Now I just kind of realized that it's it's the next evolution of myself calling me forward, or a part of me that is already, you know, in there but wants to come out.

Lori Harder:

Meaning, like, I've always been into personal development even when I was, you know, in fitness. Like, but then I wanted to start showing that more because I realized I couldn't get a transformation for people in their body if they didn't do personal development. Right. So it was like, you know, I'm like, okay. Well, now I really want to start leaning into this. So I some some keys about when I know that's starting to have to come out is I start waking up in the middle of the night. Like, truly, I'm like, oh, something is there. Like, I'm supposed to do something else.

Lori Harder:

Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Like, you're just waking up going, oh, there's more. I don't know what it is, but there's more. And then you start asking questions around that. When we pivoted in business to let's talk about I I had a a small personal training studio that we would also do, like, group workouts and stuff on the weekend. And when network marketing started taking off, I remember going to Chris and saying, I don't wanna do my gym anymore because it's consuming way too much time for me, and I wanna go all in on network marketing because look at the money we're already making over here. Mhmm. And, you know, at the time, I was really upset with his answer because I said, we still get really mad at each other. It's great, but we work it out.

Lori Harder:

And he was like, you know, you're not you're not quitting your gym because that's what I wanted to do. I'm very much like that. Anyone like that? You see the new thing? I'm like, I am over it. Like, I I was done with it. I had a bad attitude. Like, I didn't wanna train anyone. All of a sudden, all these clients I used to like, I didn't like them in like a

Lori Harder:

day

Lori Harder:

because I was done. Right. It's just my personality and I have to go back and reset and reframe. And so he tells me, he's like, no. You have to you know, what we're gonna do is we're gonna set a goal with network marketing and when you hit this number, then we can close the gym. I was so irritated with him then. And now, I'm so glad that we did that because it taught me a few things. It taught me that I had way more capacity than I thought that I had.

Lori Harder:

I was upset with him because I was like, I don't have time to do both. Like, I'm just stuck in these in between worlds.

Lori Harder:

Yeah.

Lori Harder:

And what it taught me is that I had way more capacity. I was like working nights. I was working weekends. And that was really good for me because you guys know if you wanna grow a business, there will be seasons where you are you are all out. You you really are. And so it taught the capacity, but then also it gave me that goal of, you know what, he's right. If I can't get this business to this place, which wasn't that much further, do I deserve to quit? Is it in the right place to quit the gym? So whenever we're pivoting now, we set those goals or we make sure, is it something that, like you said, could we have kept the gym going? Could we have, like, really secured a team there? Which we didn't wanna do that, but if you're thinking of that, that's the other thing is when do you know it's okay to pivot? Do you want to keep that business? Is it really self sufficient? Do you have the team that could not only keep it going, but grow it? So those are all questions that we ask ourselves now of, are you really done with this? Or is this something that you could sustain, keep the money coming in, you know, and keep that business going as well?

Chris Harder:

I would add to this. There's 2 types of pivots. There's a forced pivot and an elective pivot. Mhmm. A forced pivot is when you lose your job

Chris Harder:

Yeah.

Chris Harder:

Or when your industry shuts down, or when the CFPB says, hey, if you do it this way, we're gonna sue

Chris Harder:

you. Right.

Chris Harder:

Fine. In those situations, you have no choice but to pivot. But I'll tell you what, in the 1,000 plus examples I've seen of friends and clients and everybody else being in a situation of a forced pivot, I have yet to see one where it wasn't working for you in your favor. And that's not to say it's gonna feel good. It's not to say it's not gonna be scary. It's not gonna say that you're not gonna be angry and scared and all those things. But I have yet to see one where it wasn't working out in somebody's favor. My bad.

Chris Harder:

I forget my arm. It says, live as though universe conspires in your favor. And you have to believe that. And if you believe that, then your chances of it turning out that way are always going to be in your favor. The elective pivot though, that's the tougher one. People would think that the forced pivot is the tough one. The elective pivot is the tough one because you have to examine where it's coming from. You know the phrase, the grass is always greener? The grass is green where you water it.

Chris Harder:

No. It really is. And the money is in the monotony. And what I see way too many times is somebody's all excited to build their program or build their product, and they love the ideation phase, and they love the launch phase. And then when it gets monotonous, when it's been a couple of years, when it's no longer new and exciting, like has that new car smell, guess what? They wanna pivot. Mhmm. Because something else seems cool, something else seems shiny, something else seems exciting. And that's where you have to be certain, as Laurie was alluding to.

Chris Harder:

Is this pivot coming from a place of me being bored or me not wanting to do the unsexy stuff anymore? Like it's sexy to announce a new product. It's sexy to launch something and have everyone tell you how cool you are and how great it is. It's not to do the day to day stuff. Right. So is your elected pivot coming from you not wanting to do the boring, monotonous, difficult stuff? You just want to do that shiny part of the the journey? Or is it coming from what you're doing right now is truly no longer aligned? And I think the only way to answer that is to make sure that you know why you want to wake up every single day. If you get really in touch with knowing what you want your life to look like, what is important to you, and why you wanna wake up every single day, then all you have to do is use that centerpiece pillar to measure, should I pivot or not against? And if it says, yep. You gotta pivot because you're no longer aligned with what you wanna wake up for every day, then pivot. And if you realize, wait, what I'm doing right now really is aligned with what I want to wake up for every day.

Chris Harder:

It's just not very fun right now. Then choose to water that grass and make it green where you already are.

Melissa Henault:

So so so good. So good. Okay. Next question. This is around because you guys are really big personal brands, and I would argue that is a business all in itself. So what is it like managing a personal brand while lifting up a product at the same time? And how do you do that? Because to me it feels like 2 different businesses. Can you speak to that?

Chris Harder:

It truly is. I tell people all the time I have 2 full time jobs. Mhmm. The personal brands, that's a full time job plus. And then, Frollo is a full time job plus. So you have to be able to know, okay, who gets the tie breaker? In my case, I know it's always furlough. That's the first thing you have to establish. Who gets the tie breaker? The second meaning, which one gets your attention if you have to give it one way or the other? The second thing is to realize that over time, you spending energy and resources and continuing to grow that personal brand even when you don't want to is what's gonna keep you safe, is what's gonna be your safety net Yes.

Chris Harder:

Anytime that you want to or have to do something else, almost related to the pivot question. Yeah. When Laurie wanted to switch from fitness to self development, because she already had such a large personal brand, she had all of those individuals that already had the know, like, and trust factor with her able to bring them over. And not everybody comes. Mhmm. Some people only wanted abs, nothing else. Right. But a lot of them will come with, and it makes your pivot.

Chris Harder:

It makes whatever change you have to or want to do that much easier.

Melissa Henault:

Yes.

Chris Harder:

Your safety isn't in one particular business. Your safety isn't in how much money you have in a bank. I've got a friend that lost $80,000,000 out of his checking account overnight. Your safety isn't in any of those things. Your safety is in having an engaged audience that you have sustained over a long period of time, building that know, like, and trust factor, so that if you had to start selling donuts tomorrow Mhmm. They would invest in your donut shop and come to your rescue and line up at the front door on opening day and tell all their friends about it.

Lori Harder:

We have a surprise donut shop business coming.

Chris Harder:

I wish. I wish.

Lori Harder:

They're kinda healthy. Okay. So so my answer for what I do is just a tiny bit different just because I really do believe that they are so the same, your personal brand and your your other brands, because the more that I invest into my personal brand, the more eyeballs I convert into the product or into, like, when I had fitness membership. So, you know, because so much of the way that I run my brand is all about a lifestyle. So it's kind of the more I show myself, whether it's being goofy or with my dogs or doing business or whatever that is, and the more people that I can recruit into that personal brand or that that lifestyle, the better all of the products do. Mhmm. So for me, when you when you think of it from a company perspective, they always say, you know, for somebody who is an influencer or who has the ability to have a personal brand or who has a large personal brand, you're either allocating that time and money into marketing. Right? So let's say you're not an influencer.

Lori Harder:

You have to pay for eyeballs. Correct? Mhmm. So you're either paying with money or your time. If you're someone who's an influencer, you can put a lot of time there and you get to take away from the marketing budget of your company because you can invest time and get more eyeballs. So when I'm investing into my personal brand, I'm probably having to invest less into Facebook ads or when I'm investing into my relationships. Because right now with my product, a big part of what we're about to do is run ads through different people who are influencers or influential people. And for me, because I've spent a lot of time like if you see me, I'll be at a, you know, a girls weekend mastermind with people who are also influential. And that moves the needle so much on my business because if they say, yes, Laurie, I'll record my, you know, testimonial or or an ad for Glowsy because I love it so much, then what we'll do is we'll put money behind that where I would have had to pay that person 5, 10, 15, $20,000 to do that dependent upon how influential they are.

Lori Harder:

Where if I just went and invested in them and said, hey, what can I do for you? What can we do for each other? That that is you know, I'm investing time to get that back. So there's so many different ways that you you can, you know, spend that time on your personal brand that can convert into your brand because it's eyeballs. We're always you know, Chris always says this, but there's not a whole lot of things in your company that couldn't be solved by more attention and eyeballs. Right? By more, people looking at you, by more followers, by more people in your email list, by more people on your text list. Like, most of our problems in here would be solved if we had a massive email list. Right? Mhmm. Then we could just kinda dial in the message, we could just kinda dial in the product. But it's usually that attention that we're trying to get.

Melissa Henault:

So good. So good. And I love this and I've actually seen this lately. I feel like maybe it was with, maybe Jenna Kutcher and Amy Porterfield, kind of promoting each other through Facebook ads. And I was like, wow, that is brilliant. Mhmm. Right? So it's like investing in the network and we talked about the law of reciprocity yesterday. How can I serve and how can I help these people? Okay.

Melissa Henault:

So more on I wanna go a little bit further around collaboration in personal brands because I've seen the 2 of you be wildly synergistic. We're kind of like faster you can go faster together. So I know you were just talking about your girlfriends, but I've also seen the 2 of you promote each other and what each other does on with, leveraging your personal brands. Do you feel that that's been impactful kind of running together and supporting each other? And if so, like how are you how are you doing that and can you share that with these

Lori Harder:

guys? Yeah. I I think, are you talking about between us or between kind of everyone?

Melissa Henault:

Between the 2 of you as spouses who have big brands, like supporting each other, like running faster together kind of thing. Like your, like the live events that you guys are doing right now, the dinner series and stuff like that.

Lori Harder:

You know, the the cool thing about partnering whether it's with with your spouse or with a friend, you know, I do some stuff with Lindsay Schwartz and some other people. And whenever I get the opportunity to, if it works, like I will absolutely partner. In Glowsy, I have Natalie Ellis from Boss Babe. We learned you know, real quick before we get into partnering, like, we learned the mindset of abundance within about partnering and about, you know, lifting other people up and about promoting people's stuff way back in network marketing. Because the teams that were thriving were not afraid to share. And they also weren't afraid to, you know, if a leader came to them and they're like, hey, you know, I talked to this other leader and I think I wanna I I'm supposed to join their team because they talked to me first, but I wanna join your team. We would turn them away every single time, hands down. Even if we thought they could make us a ton of money, because we believed that what would be created energetically in that awkwardness of another large leader that we always have to work with is going to create a problem.

Lori Harder:

And we always got blessed times 10. So with that said, when it comes to your audience, I think that partnering, you know, with with Chris is huge because I don't need all the credit nor do I do what he does. Like, he is so much better than me at strategy and coaching people. Like, I'm one to many, for sure. I don't know who's a one to many person in this room. Like, you're better with way more people. Like, group coaching, in front of a lot of people. Okay.

Lori Harder:

1 of you. Awesome. I feel very so cool. Alright. Chris, you talk. No. I'm just kidding. But he's a one to one.

Lori Harder:

He's a one to one. Like, he loves the 1 on 1 coaching. You know, he's great with strategy in your business, which is why he's doing so great with you and all of his other clients. And so for me, when I partner with Chris, I get better. Like, I get better. We get to serve way more people. So we do have a bit of, you know, I I wouldn't say we like sit down and have a strategy around it, but we get to cover so many more people. Because there's a lot of people who will listen to start listening to my podcast, hear an episode with him on it, and resonate way more, start listening to him go to his stuff.

Lori Harder:

And so, you know, that all funnels into our business as a whole. And that just we we feel a lot more covered. So when you're thinking of your business partner, you know, with Natalie Ellis in glossy, like she is so she's like a Chris. She's very strategic. She's very linear. So we can cover a whole lot more in that company than with me who wants to be out collecting the eyeballs from the many, bringing them home into the funnel and the strategy.

Laurie Harder:

Into the strategy.

Chris Harder:

Yeah. Yeah. I would just echo what she said. And I think if I said it in slightly different words, it would be collaboration is always the shortcut whether it's as spouses or you finding somebody else in here to collaborate with or a few somebody else's to collaborate with or the way you mentioned Jenna and Amy always collaborating on their stuff. Laurie mentioned you gotta come from a place of abundance. Right? So you can't be like, oh, they're not gonna come to my event if I promote their event. Guess what? People are event junkies or book junkies or product junkies. And I mean that in a positive way.

Chris Harder:

They should be. You should want to consume a lot of books. And there's not enough books from one author, so authors should be promoting each other. You should want to go to a lot of events. And there's not just one person that can put on enough events for you, So they should be promoting each other and so on and so on. So we just happen to be good complementary halves.

MC:

Mhmm.

Chris Harder:

We happen to be good at opposite things and so it it fits together really nice.

MC:

Yeah.

Chris Harder:

But if you don't have that built in at home, which most people probably don't in that in that situation, go get it like I did with my business partner, Matt. You know, Frolo that I mentioned, I know nothing about tech. And I am not exaggerating when I say if our TV breaks, my brother has to come over and, like, fix it and plug it in and do something really basic.

Lori Harder:

Just plug it in.

Chris Harder:

I am not I hate tech. I never wanted tech. I never wanted an app. None of that. But it was the only way to create this 2 sided marketplace Mhmm. In order to match these people. Right? And so instead of saying, oh, I'm not good at this. Oh, I don't know how to do this.

Chris Harder:

I went and I found Matt, my business partner who is a friend of mine. And I knew that he and his team were good at the pieces that I am not good at. And I also knew that I brought some things to the table that were not their area of expertise. And so when I pitched Matt on this and then when I pitched his team on this, we saw that it was a really good fit and we're off to the races together. And that's the spirit of your question.

Lori Harder:

Yeah.

Laurie Harder:

Is everything is easier if you go find somebody else to do it with instead of just muscling it out yourself the whole time.

Melissa Henault:

Yes. So good. Okay. Follow-up to that actually. So let's talk about the start up. Because both of you have gotten into the product space. Digital, physical, and Lori went first. So I'm curious.

Melissa Henault:

Lori went first in this journey. Chris, you're in the thick of it now, and again, being in the same household together, is there anything that you were able to glean from Laurie going first? And now that you're in the thick of it, is there any different perspective you have, than you didn't have prior to launching your own product?

Lori Harder:

I love this question. Listen,

Chris Harder:

I have it much easier because Laurie went first. Even though they're entirely different products. Right. No joke. Watching the way she did a strategic fund raise

Melissa Henault:

Yeah.

Chris Harder:

So that they weren't just checks, but they were people that could immediately share the product. Right? Mhmm. Because they had skin in the game.

Melissa Henault:

Yep.

Chris Harder:

Watching the way that she kept hitting wall after wall after wall. And instead of being defeated by it, just kind of pick herself up with no energy left and just find that one last ounce of energy to go find another wall to throw herself up against. Right. And no. I'm not kidding. And then finally, seeing her break through one of those unexpected walls. It teaches you just keep slamming your face against the wall because one of them will break. I'm not kidding.

Chris Harder:

It really gives you that inspiration like, okay, one of these has to break. Right. When she would wake up at 3 in the morning and make me cuddle her, night after night after night. Now when I do that, I'm like, oh, it's just part of the journey. Dead serious. So having her go first was absolutely everything. It was a huge unfair advantage to be able to watch it, see the outcome so that at least when you can't see the outcome yourself, you can borrow somebody else's evidence that there will be a positive outcome.

Lori Harder:

It's I mean, for anyone going through it, like, it can be really brutal, but it's it's it's the biggest upgrade of your life. Like, so watching him has been challenging because you don't want your partner to be going through that pain too, but also there's a little part of me that's like Not only because I'm like, oh, he gets it now because he would just try to fix it right away. And I'm like, this is an unfixable there's there's not a fix in sight. Come sit with me and see what I'm talking about. Legal like, he's in the same legal, you know, challenges that I was in. But why I can cackle like that is because I'm just like, he doesn't know the version of him that he is about to meet. And that excites me.

Melissa Henault:

Yes. Yes.

Melissa Henault:

I love that. I love that so much. Okay. Well then, let's get into high performing relationships, and I wanna save some time for these guys to ask you questions because I know we're gonna come back up with Kayla later this afternoon with some more even pointed questions with specifically with your businesses as well. But because the 2 of you are here right now, I wanted to speak around the high performing relationship piece. And I wanted to start here. Yesterday many of them how many how many of you guys, let these guys know. How many of you just came into my ethos in September, signed up for the lead gen academy, and like didn't know me before that? Raise your hand.

Melissa Henault:

Okay.

Melissa Henault:

That's

Melissa Henault:

awesome. They they came in not knowing that they were maybe gonna learn just business strategy. And yesterday, we went right into the depths, of the dark of the inner work and the shadow work, and Preston Smiles was here, and Sam was here, and everybody's crying. And some of them, it's their first big breakthrough that there's a lot of work that actually needs to go on in here what they're calling in. Right? And I guess where I'm going with this is many of us, when we're on our own personal inner journey, sometimes in our household, one is going first before the other. Right? We're not necessarily both on this journey at the same time, especially the ones probably who raised their hands have just been cracked open for the first time. And they're about to go home to a spouse who maybe has no idea what has happened at this event, and they're gonna go down in this rabbit hole journey of this personal development inner work. And if I'm correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like maybe Lori went into that journey first.

Melissa Henault:

So I thought maybe we could talk about how do you go home to a spouse who's not quite there yet, and maybe authentically share your own journey here? Do you mind?

Lori Harder:

Well, I mean, don't do what I did. You know, you you go to these things and you are different, you're different, you're a different person on the other side. Like, you you've learned things, you've experienced things, you've met people. You can't unsee what is reality for other people in this room. Right? You're just like, no. This is a real thing for so many people. We just haven't allowed ourselves to be in the rooms where we get to see it. And so now you see it.

Lori Harder:

And once you're in a room of possibility, it's possible for you. And that's like, you cannot come back from that. So what was happening to me is I was going in these rooms, and sometimes in the beginning, like, I I went all in. Like, it was like a week long, like, transformation where it'd be like 7 days and I come home from 7 in the morning till 11 at night were some of the first things that I would do. Like, Jack Canfield did like these deep trainings. And so I come home and like, I don't even know how to relate to him how different I am. Like, I'm I'm gonna talk different. I'm gonna think different.

Lori Harder:

I'm gonna perceive things differently. And all we want is for our partner to feel the same thing and do the same thing. Right? So we come home and and we don't we're not professional speakers or transformational coaches yet. So we do the absolute worst thing we can possibly do, and we just kinda, like, tell them everything they're doing wrong. So it was like, don't do that. You shouldn't do that. And here's why. And he's just like, he didn't get to go through that experience of how these rooms are highly facilitated, you guys.

Lori Harder:

Like, they know that you have to be, you you know, you have to be told stories, and you have to be asked for your buy in first, and you have to just, like it's all of these things that you're opting in for that you don't realize we're at home. You're just throwing it on them and you're pissing them off and they're irritated and it's just bad and ugly and it was not good. So what would happen is he would shut down and throw a wall up and that would bug me even more and I would just be like, you know, short answers to him or, maybe this isn't working, or whatever. Things like that. So in the beginning it was not great, but I learned really quickly, like, the more of those things you go to, the more they talk about it from stage. Thank God. It's like, you know, go home and just be different. Like, love them the same, but you be different in your life, and let them notice that you're different.

Lori Harder:

Invite them along. Like, if you're coming like, hey, I'd love for you to do this because I like, it's changed my life. Like, just talk about your transformation. Do not talk about why they need to be different or why you think they're struggling in their life. Don't try to diagnose them. Like, those are the things that they'll throw the wall up. Right? So with Chris, I learned really quickly that that would just shut him down, it would irritate him, and pretty soon he would be like like, I'm really not going to these wacky, cracky things that you're going to. Like like, you can't you go to the jungle and howl up by yourself.

Lori Harder:

Like, you cannot do these. So, anyway, I would just I would just show up different. And I would love to hear how that kind of changed for you, because I just kind of let it go. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna really focus on me, and I'm gonna make the changes in my life, and I'm not gonna worry. Of course, I wanted him with me. Like, he's my everything. But at the same time, I knew that there was something for me that I had to follow and not worry about him. So it was when I stopped worrying.

Lori Harder:

Ladies, ladies, we love to worry. It's our favorite thing. We think it changes things, but it doesn't. It makes it worse. And when I did that, everything changed.

Chris Harder:

Well, this is such a good question because it's not just applicable to to couples, it's applicable to your friends.

Melissa Henault:

Yes.

Chris Harder:

Like you guys are leaving here a different person and now you're afraid, what if my friends don't wanna do this? Or what if my friends think I've changed? This really is a question about anybody that you care about, period, full stop. What happens when you've changed and they haven't? How do you bring them along? And I think the answer is this. The only thing you can control is leading by example, always inviting them along, and giving them enough time for them to decide, do they want to have a life like yours or not? Because if you lead by example and you do the right things, you're going to start getting great results, and they're going to notice these new results. Wow, you look happier, you look healthier, you're making more money, you're doing these things. And when they see the evidence working on you, then they're going to say, hey, maybe I should try sucking those unicorn farts or that breath work or whatever type of woo woo thing it is that you went and did. Right?

Lori Harder:

I've never heard that one. That's a good one.

Chris Harder:

Because they see the end result that it worked. And when Laurie started coming home from these things, I

Melissa Henault:

was She started it over there with

Chris Harder:

I was just straight bro. Like, all I cared about was this. How was business going, and what time was the packer game on on Sunday? It's all I cared about. That was it. And so for Lori to come home, this new person with all these spiritual and move things, all this stuff, I couldn't be more opposite. But it was seeing her get new results. It was seeing you be happier.

Chris Harder:

was seeing things happen easier for you that finally made me say, hey, maybe she's doing it right and I'm doing it wrong. And it really had to be on my timing. Yeah. But she always invited me along or tricked me, like Costa Rica that one time. I did

Chris Harder:

trick him.

Lori Harder:

I did trick him. Yes.

Chris Harder:

Should I

Chris Harder:

tell that story really quick? I don't recommend this and I do because I left a changed person. So, like, this is not advice, this is just a real story and do with it what you may. But she somewhere in this journey when she was all amped up on this stuff, unicorn farts? Unicorn farts in Costa Rica.

Chris Harder:

She They're

Chris Harder:

hard to find by the way. That was tough for me.

Chris Harder:

She told me, she's like, hey, because we did a lot of vacations together. She's like, I wanna go to this surf and yoga retreat on this beach that has white sand and it looks amazing. Would you come with me? I'm like, surfing and yoga? Sure. I'm in. No problem. And I got there and you land in Liberia, which is like a tiny little junky airport. And I was a little bit bougie back then, so now I can stay anywhere, but now back then it was a little different. And then, you take like a 3 hour car ride in roads that aren't real roads, to be honest.

Chris Harder:

And we get to this place and they're just huts. And it's packer season, and the huts did not have internet, and they sure as hell were not showing the packer game. And we got there, and, you know, they they have to, like, I don't know, anoint you somehow when you are checking in and all this stuff. And so I get I check-in, and I'm tired from the day of travel, and I'm sitting in the hut, and I'm like, babe, I'm going home tomorrow. You lied to oh, and I left out the punch lines. This was not a surf and yoga retreat. This was a breath work and meditation retreat that had one surfing outing. That was it in the 10 days.

Chris Harder:

So they couldn't be more opposite from what I was into. So when I see the itinerary, I get there. I'm like, babe, this is not what you told me it was. I'm out of here tomorrow. Don't let this be the first big rift in our marriage, but this is just not my thing. And now it's like 6 o'clock at night. It's getting dark out a little bit and there are no flights back home to LA at this point. So, she says, that's fine.

Chris Harder:

I understand. I did trick you. In the meantime, we're going to see these sea sea turtles hatch. And it's supposed to be majestic and it's supposed to be like one of the 7 wonders of the world. The whole group is going, do you want to go? And I said, am I going to sit in the dark hut? Might as well go see the sea turtles hatch. So we go to see what I think is going to be sea turtle porn and we have to ride in the back of a cattle truck that has cattle shit in it. No joke. No through rivers and all this.

Chris Harder:

But here's where it starts to change for me. It's kind of fun getting back to my Wisconsin roots being in a cattle truck.

Laurie Harder:

With shit.

Chris Harder:

of: 1000

Chris Harder:

And I did in that 8 or 9 or 10 days, whatever it was, absolutely changed my life in every way possible. Wow. So trick trick them into it. I don't know if that's good advice, but if Laurie wasn't exposed to this and already in it, I know I wouldn't have ended up there one way or another. And that's really the spirit of the answer. Just keep going. Just keep going. You do you, and it's up to them if they're gonna come along or not.

Melissa Henault:

So good. So good. Well, we've got about 10 minutes left. Are you guys okay if I open up to the audience

Melissa Henault:

for questions with

Melissa Henault:

you guys?

Melissa Henault:

Okay. So my mic runners

Chris Harder:

I love that your kids are the mic runners. This is the coolest thing ever. And while while you guys are coming up, can I can we give Melissa a round of applause? Yeah. Like, guys. I'm so proud of you. Putting these things on is so much work. It's so much work for you, so much work for the team. This is months months months into planning to make these things happen, and you do this literally for them.

Chris Harder:

So you're you're incredible.

Melissa Henault:

Thank you. Thank you.

Melissa Henault:

So good.

Melissa Henault:

Alright. Wesley, you wanna bring Marilyn the microphone?

Melissa Henault:

Thank you.

Marilyn:

Okay. I just have to say I did the same thing to my husband. I tricked him to go to a tantric retreat in San Miguel, and he came back a coach, which is amazing.

Melissa Henault:

Oh, my God.

Marilyn:

That's awesome. As a member of Ultra and as a leadership coach for women, I've seen you go through this trajectory the last couple years. I've also seen Natalie Ellis go through a similar trajectory and leave her business partner and I've seen the 2 of you partner up. Can you talk a little bit about the behind the scenes on that? How do you structure that in a way that is mutual for the both of you?

Lori Harder:

Well, I think I think we've her and I had both been in multiple, you know, maybe not public partnerships, but different partnerships, friendships, things that you want to work with people on throughout your career. And, you know, all of the things that fail you learn the most from. Like, you just get better and better. So, you know, as we were partnering it was, we had quite a few we had quite a few phone calls and then questions that we would use, that I had conversations on and she had conversations on around meaning, I I went to some mentors in my life and said, hey, what are the questions that I need to make sure we ask each other and topics we need to cover and contracts we need to have in place. I talked to quite a few people and got all of, like, the stuff that made me feel really secure on that. And she did the same thing. So then we talked about where was the breakdown in our in all of our last partnerships and what what happened. Like, and and where was it our fault and where can we make sure that we put something in place so we don't have that again.

Lori Harder:

So it it was one of the best conversations we've ever had. And one of the main questions in there was, where are you afraid of disappointing the other person? And that question freed us both up so much. And, you know, some of those answers within that for me it was like, I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to, like, you know, I told her I'm like, I'm not a strategic I'm not very strategic. Like, I need someone to really help me with strategy. Here's where I excel. Here's where I will fail you. Like, I do not do well in this area or this area, and so if you expect me to, that's gonna be a breakdown for us. You know, and and even with the 2 of us, we were like, hey, this is amazing, but we need these people or you and I are not gonna get the job done.

Lori Harder:

And, like, we're not gonna be like, we're not gonna push this forward in the way that we want. So having super honest conversations, and I know that he had these with his business partner too, of the the the places that you're secretly afraid of of disappointing them or failing them. That conversation opened up so much for us. But also, you know, the one where have you broken down before? Where has this failed you? Where can you honestly take accountability for where the breakdown was in that. So those honest conversations were huge because it had us both go into it without being afraid. And I think that the main thing is now when we go into partnerships too, if you know that about the other person, like, if you know different different ways that they're not, you know, gonna feel comfortable, you can also support them. You could support it in your business. And then having that hard conversation from the top, we have what could be could sound like a hard conversation to some people all the time now.

Lori Harder:

Because it's just like, hey, here's where I'm at. Like, I'm willing to get really vulnerable with her right away. Like, hey, here's how I'm feeling. I told you I have this, you know, abandonment issue. So when when these meetings keep getting cancelled because you're busy, this is a made up scenario. When they keep getting cancelled because you're busy, you know, maybe it makes me feel this way. Could we make sure we don't miss these because they're really important for me? So just clear communication across the board when you start out with, like, the hard stuff, because that was not those those were not easy conversations to have so we, like, braced ourselves for it, you know. So good.

Melissa Henault:

Great question. Yeah. Great question.

Melissa Henault:

Another question. Yes, Erica. Oh, no. That's not Erica. Who is that over?

Chris Harder:

It's hard with the lights.

Lori Harder:

I know. I'm like blind. I know it's just outlined.

Guest:

More on the line of that, not exactly sure how to articulate it, but I'm in a situation with a partnership And I sometimes in my head swirl around between like a financial partnership and maybe more of a mutually beneficial partnership in terms of maybe more marketing. You know, so how do you kind of delineate between where you want to come up with a contract and say, here's the financial side for both of us or here we're just gonna kind of rise up together like was brought up yesterday. Where do you know when to make the difference and how do you go about that? Because a lot of times if you're there isn't a clear dollar that you can set on each item. I'm not sure if I'm being articulate, but

Lori Harder:

Yes. This is Chris will have something to say on this too, but this one's kind of interesting. Because if one person can bring in the money and the other person is how am I gonna say this? This is a tough one. It's kind

Chris Harder:

of a role. A worker bee and the other one can bring in the money.

Lori Harder:

Yeah. That's it's tough because if there's one person who can always bring in the money and the other one's a worker bee, but couldn't bring in the money without you, the other one is technically hirable. Does that make sense? So this is where I kind of went wrong in the beginning of when I was looking for partnerships. I'd be finding people where I'm like, oh, but then I'd have them and it would be great. And I could bring them on as a partner because I think there was a part of me that didn't trust myself to do the business on my own when I was very first looking in like even light pink days. Mhmm. Because I was very open to partnerships. And what I realized, fairly quickly was like, oh my gosh.

Lori Harder:

I'm trying to make someone a partner who actually would just be a great hire. And as they grow, I could hire someone else. Or, you know, because you don't know who you are in the beginning of these companies or partnerships at all. Like, you're about to change so much and you're about to like, you haven't even figured out your role a 100%. So if it's hireable, don't take on a partner for it. Because once you're a partner, you're a partner. And if you realize that person isn't able to, like when you really need them, you're exhausted. You can't bring in the money at that point.

Lori Harder:

If they can't do it, you don't have someone else to rely on. So I think that, you know, a a partner almost needs to be someone who it would be really hard to hire out their skill set or really expensive to the company. Does that make sense?

Melissa Henault:

So good.

Chris Harder:

Did that answer what you were asking?

Melissa Henault:

Awesome. Alright. Yes. That's I think that's Stephanie, if I'm seeing correctly over there. I can't tell. Sorry.

Stephanie:

Hi. Chris, nice to see you again. We saw each other at the mastermind retreat with Melissa in Arizona, so last year, and then Laurie, it's nice to see you for the first time. So, my question is about family. You touched a little bit on friendships and how when you're a business owner, you become this new version of yourself, and I'm okay with, you know, growing out of some friendships, but how do you handle the family aspect of it? Because for for my husband and I, we have our own level of success, but I think our families are seeing us become this, other version of ourselves, and I feel like sometimes there's some resistance and almost like they're turning their backs on us a little bit. Mhmm. And it's kinda hard to deal with that because friendships is one thing but family is another. So what are your thoughts on that?

Lori Harder:

Well, he's looking at me. We've we've absolutely had this and there'll be multiple iterations of this, Multiple. And we're so close to our family, so I'll put that bow at the end. But also, I have some family I'm not close to anymore. So there will be people you will remain close to and I also have faith that some of the others could still come around and if not, I'm I'm at a place of peace with that. So I think the first thing I would say is, like, release all expectations around what you want, but work on what you want. You know what I mean? Because it may not turn out how you want, but we can always work on like you guys can always work on yourselves and being the best version of you to them. The thing is is when we change, our families are just uncomfortable because you're changing the dynamic that they're used to.

Lori Harder:

It might change what you put up with too, which might mean that they have to change. They don't get to be like low vibe around you or treat you poorly or, you know, whatever whatever that dynamic looked like. Because as as you change your your you know, you want you you won't put up with what you've put up with before. I'm not sure if that plays into it at all, but that was a part of how we were. So we had so many conversations around this. We had a couple moments where, some people in our family our parents were like they told us that we our values were awful. Like, they were like, you're putting money first. You're you're not valuing the family.

Lori Harder:

Like, you, you know, you're so out of what was the word they used? I can't remember. Prior like, we're not prioritizing the right things. And all we heard was You've

Chris Harder:

lost yourself.

Lori Harder:

We've lost ourselves. We're being selfish, because we had moved away. Any any Midwesterners in here? K. We did the the cardinal sin and we moved away from the Midwest, away from our family. And that was just like, how could you do that? So they see us in Los Angeles living this, what they think is a shiny a a shiny life, and they they felt very left behind and like we were not prioritizing them. So what that looked like for us is realizing, okay, let's have a conversation even though that really irritated us. It made us, like, want to blow up and be mad at them and, you know, yell at them, like, we need to make money if we want to help you, like, all these things. And we have a vision for why we want to do it because we knew why we wanted to do it.

Lori Harder:

We wanted to show them experiences. We wanted to take them on trips. We wanted to do all these things. So when they told us that we were so offended. So instead of telling them, I'm so offended, which is what we wanted to do, we had to be like, okay. We have to be the people. We're the ones who are growing. We're the ones who are doing the personal development.

Lori Harder:

They're not we're the ones who are getting the tools. We have to be the people to go back to them and say, okay, you know, what do you need? What would make you feel better? Okay. It looks like, you know, Chris is so good with this. Alright. We'll prioritize a trip. Where you know, do we need to see you 2 or 3 times a year? Do you need to come out a couple times? What does this look like to make you feel like you're a priority to us? And, you know, that conversation didn't really go super awesome the first time. But we did it multiple times. Like, we've had full on blow ups where it's like we're like we're not talking to you again and then we go back to them like, hey, this is not how we wanna be.

Lori Harder:

What could we make this look like? So don't give up and keep trying to be the person who's like, okay, what would be important to you? What do you need and why? Because you're important to

Stephanie:

us. Yeah. Thank you. And it's also like like feeling the love in return because we are very close knit to our families. We also decided to move away, so for them it's a sign of betrayal. But, like, for them, it's like, well, you decided to live far away, so we're not going to come see you. You know, it's been 15 years in the US and they've come maybe once and some of his brothers have not even been here. So it's like, yeah, we'll come.

Stephanie:

There's 5 of us now, so we'll come, but it's like that expectation of you have do the work all the time. It's kind of like they're pun punishing us. Mhmm. So it's it's it's hard. Yeah.

Lori Harder:

That's a hard one. That's where the the work on yourself with making peace with that is sometimes the only thing that you can do. And know that you're you're a pattern breaker for your children or whatever situation that you were walking out of. You know?

Melissa Henault:

Yeah. So good. Awesome. This is so good. Well, so we're gonna take one more, and then know that these guys are gonna come back up this afternoon just so we can stay on time because I'm cognizant of the clock up here. Yes?

Guest:

Hi. I'm a relationship coach that specializes in entrepreneur marriages, And sometimes people say, what's an entrepreneur marriage?

Guest:

And it's

Guest:

like, well, if you know, you know, you guys have an entrepreneur marriage. And, I have heard couples refer to the business as the mistress, feeling that, you know, it gets more time than they do. One of the things I have so appreciated about the 2 of you, as I've followed you on social media, is that you clearly have prioritized your marriage, and you've worked at it somehow. And you you, at least by appearance, seem to have a very healthy, relationship and supporting each other. So I would love to hear what are a few things that you do to to prioritize your marriage, to strengthen that partnership? You know, it's kind of this theme of partnership. What do you do to strengthen that partnership as you are both chasing big dreams?

Chris Harder:

Great question.

Lori Harder:

Mhmm.

Chris Harder:

The first

Chris Harder:

thing is you you decide what's most important to you. Like, it's easy for the 2 of us to always put each other first because we know that if we were broke in the middle of nowhere, we'd still be happy together. We've been broke. We've been broke in the middle of nowhere. Still happy together. So that is literally, what we protect and prioritize first and foremost over everything else. But then what happens? Busyness, life, everything else really starts to try and chip away at this this stake that you're putting in the ground. So you have to build these things in to protect that, like our protected time in the morning where nobody can get a hold of us unless they're really close friends or family because that's the time that we've protected to put ourselves first, to take the dogs for a walk, to do our power 9.

Chris Harder:

Laurie can explain what that is. To, you know, fill up our cups first so we can be the cup that's full that's pouring out for everybody else after that. After we let people get access to us. What else would you throw in there?

Lori Harder:

I would say, you know, this goes for this goes for parenting as well. Whenever I ask people, I'm like, what makes you I see you guys have such an amazing relationship with your children. How did that happen? It's the same exact fundamentals and they always say, and it's exactly what we do. They say, you know, we set aside allotted time every day where we're like connecting and checking in with each other. For some people it's dinner where they do, you know, they do like what's the highlight of the day, what was the the struggle of the day, what is it, the rose and the thorns. Yeah. And that's like the most successful families whenever I ask. They have this set aside time for them to connect and check-in with what's going on with each other's lives.

Lori Harder:

That's what we have. We've had that with our walks in the morning and our walks in the evening. So even if we just did a walk in the morning, I know we would cover what we needed to cover. And we have set things that we do within there. So just like I said, the families who are like, it's not just set time together in a room in front of the TV like I did in the eighties with my family, TGIF. Every single Friday you'd be like, oh, we're so connected. But you have to set you have to set an actual ritual where you ask each other questions within there. And there it has to be questions that, like, get a little bit more to the root.

Lori Harder:

So for Chris and I, we do something called the power 9, and it's not even a set of questions, but what it does is it gets out, we say 3 things that we're grateful for, we say 3 things we're excited about, and we say 3 things that we're manifesting. We do this every single day. So I always know what he's working on, what he's excited about. And some of you are like, well, you don't know what the problems are. Trust me. When you say what you're excited about or what you're grateful for, you're like, I'm so grateful for my health because I've been struggling lately, or it always comes out. Like, the whole thing always comes out. So that's been a way for us that I not only connect with him, but I know how to support him.

Lori Harder:

Like, if he's excited about something, or he's working on something, or something he's manifesting, I'm like, oh, you know, he's really had, like, fitness. Like, he wants to be more fit. Great. Okay. Do you want me to cook? Like, should I be, like should we do something this week where I'm supporting you around food? Or what does that look like? So those questions naturally happen. But create a set of questions or something that you do with your partner or your family every single day where you know exactly where they're at.

Chris Harder:

I think the only thing I would add to that, being conscious of time, is we also have a zero tolerance policy around, hanging out with anybody that isn't a positive influence on a relationship. Right? We won't hang around people that complain about their spouses or that do shitty things or even that have negative attitude. Like, if they aren't reinforcing the kind of relationship we wanna have, they're out no matter who they

Lori Harder:

are. Love that. And that's not to say, you know, I think for every relationship, you know, we've struggled. It's not to say and we've had a lot of friendships who've struggled in their marriage too. It's like, it's not that we won't hang out with those people because we've been those people for them. It's the people who don't want a solution. It's the ones who complain about each other who don't want the solution. We've gone to dinners.

Lori Harder:

We're like kicking each other under the table. We get in the car and go, never again. Never again. Like, never. Like, block, delete. That's we're out.

Melissa Henault:

My gosh. So good. Well, I so appreciate you guys coming in here this morning and just sharing your heart. Aren't these the most amazing people up here on the stage? We're gonna have more time, with Laurie and Chris this afternoon, but I wanna make sure that we're we we stay on schedule as much as possible. So with that, we're gonna have, in just a second, we'll have doctor Angelie come up and lead you guys in a stretch while we change out the the chairs out here, because I think we need more chairs. But guys, thank you so much for coming up here.

Lori Harder:

Thank you, for having us.

Share Episode

Shownotes

Transcripts

Follow

Links

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube