During this little mini-season I’m talking about topics that have impacted me personally. Today’s topic is a tough one: setting boundaries.

If you’re not used to setting boundaries, it may be difficult to do and enforce. You may set one too far one way and have to back it off because it’s not sustainable. It’s okay for boundaries to shift depending on what season of life and work you’re in. 

Realistic boundaries can look like setting your client work days, turning off your phone overnight, using your paid vacation time and not letting yourself work while you’re off, or it may even look like changing jobs when the company you work for doesn’t respect your time. 

It’s okay, and necessary, to set healthy boundaries for your life and for your business.

We cover ALL of this in the “Get Your Finance Sh*t Together” self-study course at confidentmoneypodcast.com!

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DISCLAIMER: I am not a financial advisor and this is not financial advice. My podcast is for educational purposes and is my personal opinion only. To make the best financial decision for your situation, please do your own research and if needed, seek the advice of a fee-based, fiduciary.

Music credit: Neon Fairies by Wolves 

A Podcast Launch Bestie production

Welcome back to the confident money podcast.

So with this little mini season that we're doing, we are going to be talking about

things that have impacted me personally.

And I think impact a lot of us today.

We're going to be talking about boundaries, both in your business,

as well as in the corporate world, because, and technically a little

bit in your personal life as well.

Right?

Boundaries are something that can be, I think really

difficult for a lot of us too.

And enforce, but I think our, one of the most powerful things that

we can do for our overall wellness.

And so I want to talk about the experience that I've had with setting boundaries and

some things that I've noticed and with setting boundaries, it can be difficult.

I'm not here to tell you that setting boundaries and sticking to them

is the easiest thing in the world.

And you're going to just do them and go through.

If you're anything like me, you might end up setting kind of

going too far one way, right.

And setting some boundaries that aren't sustainable for you, or aren't enforceable

for you, or might not be realistic because you may have gone so long, not

setting boundaries and people pleasing and catering to those around you and

ignoring how you feel about things that when you finally snap or you finally

make that decision, or you finally hit that breaking point and you set

boundaries, they might just be unreal.

But we're going to talk about setting realistic boundaries and

the fact that it's okay to change boundaries and to sort of flux with

the season that you may experience.

So with setting boundaries, we're going to talk about in your business first

and some of these work for business for personal and for your career.

And some of these are kind of more specific.

And for me, I started setting boundaries in my personal life before I started

setting boundaries in other places.

And it has taken me kind of the last 15 years, which is insane.

But the last 15 years to get to a point where I'm setting firm boundaries

regularly and boundaries that feel good.

I feel like I've hit a balanced area in many aspects of my life.

And that includes setting boundaries, listening to my body, understanding what I

need more of as a person, what I need less of and recognizing and acknowledging that.

So for me, setting personal boundaries started out looking

like saying no to things, uh, saying, you know, I'm an introvert.

And especially when I was working a lot, when I was in college and I

was working three jobs and going to school full-time and I had moved out.

There are a lot of invitations to go do things and finding the courage

at the time to say no was something that was really beneficial for me,

setting boundaries with family.

Hey, I'm going to see you X number of times per month or X number of

times per year and sticking to it.

And if someone has a problem with it, or a friend has a problem

with it, it was my choice.

Whether I wanted to elaborate on that.

No, or the, this is what I'm willing to do.

And sometimes I didn't, sometimes it was, Hey, you know, I'm feeling really

burnt out in this season of my life.

I, you know, I would love to go take a walk with you together versus

going to a party or going to go do something that was draining for me.

So incorporating seeing friends or seeing family into doing something that was

nourishing for myself, you know, getting a meal, taking a walk, running errands.

I think I remember hanging out with my sister off and on throughout

college and my early teens.

And I was really busy, but I wanted to see her.

So what that looked like was picking her up and taking her to go do

things with me and boring things.

But we got to spend time together and it felt good for where I was in my season

of life to still do things that were important to me, what that looks like now

in my business has been setting boundaries with clients, setting boundaries, with

team members and setting boundaries with myself for when I'm going to log

off for when I'm going to step away.

Setting boundaries boundaries with clients started by, Hey, I'm

going to work X, Y and Z days.

You can expect a response from me within this timeframe.

So setting clear expectations and sticking to those and letting them know, Hey,

during tax season, you may hear from.

On weird days on weird times that does not mean that the expectation is in set, that

I work every Saturday because I replied to you one Saturday during tax season.

And that means sometimes pushing back if a client reaches out to me or reach

out to me on a weekend, and maybe they reached back out to me the next day, let's

say they reached out to me on a Friday night and they reached back out Saturday

or Sunday to ask why I hadn't replied.

It's saying on Monday or Tuesday when I'm working again.

Hey, so-and-so thank you so much for messaging me as a reminder, here are my

working hours and my standard turn time.

And it's also, if someone continues to push those boundaries after being

educated on them, it means that they're no longer an aligned client and it means

it's time to let them go because what they're looking for, isn't matching

up with what my boundaries are and my work is, and I didn't leave corporate.

To have someone else dictate my work hours.

And if you've left corporate, or if you're looking to leave corporate,

I'm assuming that that's probably part of the reason as well.

And that's not to say that my hours and my workflow has not changed over the years.

I actually noticed I'm going to do a separate episode on this, but I

have a seasonality to my schedule, to my business, to my life, both

personally, professionally and.

Figuring that out, acknowledging it and honoring it has made

a really big difference.

And so there are some constants throughout the year for client communication

for team communication, but there are also some things that are influx

throughout the year and that change.

And so I am all about communicating those changes to clients, to the team,

to my friends, even when those occur and being okay with those happening.

And I think for a lot of us, at least for me, that's something

that we can really struggle with.

Right?

You go and you set a boundary and you get into a routine, and then you

realize in six months, maybe that doesn't work for you that way anymore.

And then again, if you're anything like me, you might get into your

head, you might spiral a little bit like, oh God, why did I set this?

It was unsustainable.

Like, what are people gonna think if I, you know, change

this boundary that I've seen.

And honestly, no one gives a fuck.

You're the one gentleman that cares so much more.

So it's okay to have those changes.

As long as you are clearly communicating changes and expectations.

And again, we're going to talk about this in the next episode, when I

talk about seasonality and working with that and how my work changes

throughout the year and how our team changes throughout the year and how.

Work within that, but setting boundaries and acknowledging that how you work

within those or what those look like can change from quarter to quarter or

year to year, or as you build a team.

Like for me, as I've been building a team this last couple of years,

my boundaries are getting from.

And more stringent as I'm stepping back out of the day-to-day, you know, there

are clients that maybe they were used to me being their primary point of contact.

I'm no longer their primary point of contact.

You know, the services that we offer have changed.

We've updated them on that, but sometimes old habits are hard to break.

And so it's been a matter of updating them, you know?

Hey, so-and-so, here's a quick reminder.

Make sure you drop this in the group.

And nudging them, you know, into that direction, because change can

be hard for people, especially when you know, habits have been formed.

I'm working with some people that I've been working with

for four or five years now.

And thank you.

All of you that are listening, it's so appreciated and seeing everyone's

businesses grow and thrive and evolve has been one of my greatest pleasures.

I think actually in this business, seeing, seeing how things have

evolved is really exciting to me, but.

There's also been changes to how I operate within my business, how I show up how

the team shows up, how our clients are served, what their options look like,

what our packages are that we offer.

So acknowledging that as we have those changes, and again, clearly

communicating what those changes are, how they impact the client,

what they can expect from that.

And any changes that they need to be aware of goes such a long ways in helping.

Clients understand our boundaries, because then we have those boundaries

that we then enforce what those changes have been now boundaries within my team

and how I interface with them can be clearly communicated as you know, Hey,

I'm going to be out of office these days.

You will not be able to reach me.

I trust all of you.

I hire people that are autonomous, intelligent, compassionate.

You've got this handle.

It I'll be back if there's anything that is truly urgent, which normally

there isn't, cause I'm not at this point taking vacation or taking time out when,

you know, there's a big tax deadline or something coming up, but we're getting to

the point where I will be able to do that.

And there's someone else in charge, someone else that can take over

those questions and then taking my apps off my phone, taking my email

off my phone, clearly communicating.

This is a big one for me.

I don't want to be texted by my team unless it is something urgent

and time sensitive and it had better be urgent or time sensitive.

Otherwise we have other methods of communication.

Texting for me is for friends and family work stays in apps, boxers, email, slack.

And that's really important for me in order for me to be able to log off at

the end of the day, for me to be able to step away for me to be able to have

a brain break, because for anyone else, that's a business owner it's nonstop.

It can be overwhelming.

It can be exhausting.

It can cause burnout and being able to step away and have firm boundaries

that you are not going to be available.

You are not going to answer and telling your clients the same thing.

You're not going to answer.

Here's what you need to do.

If something's time sensitive, otherwise you'll be replied to in this timeframe

goes such a long ways to help them.

Your mental health, your creativity, and allowing you to enjoy this

business that you've built or building.

Because again, I didn't get into business to never take a vacation and

boundaries that's changed for me over the years is I used to travel and work.

I have spent months out of the country working a day job running my business.

You know, I'd work a six to eight hour day in your.

In the afternoon and evening, like let's say I'd work from 4:00 PM to about 11

give or take and go out and get dinner.

And I do all my sightseeing in the morning and that was fine.

That's not the season of life that I'm in anymore.

There are times where I'll take vacation and I'll have a couple of days where

like, Hey, I'm going to be plugged in.

I am happy to respond to X, Y, Z while I'm out.

Otherwise I'm out.

That is something that has changed for me in the season of life that I'm in,

because I crave to be able to discuss.

And that's also when I find myself most creatively inspired and I come

back rejuvenated, excited, ready to lead, ready to create, ready

to do all of these amazing things.

And I don't get that if I'm constantly working and I'm constantly in my business

and I'm constantly getting notifications.

Another boundary that I set is I only take phone calls on certain days.

Phone calls are really, really draining for.

So I take them on Tuesdays, actually do them.

I've even taken it further.

I now take calls every other Tuesday during a five-hour window.

That's it.

I have my Calendly set up that way.

And if I'm taking existing client calls or paid client calls, that's it.

If someone comes in and for some reason, you know, that doesn't work,

of course I will make an accommodation, but that is very, very rare.

And I only have a set number of calls because it takes

me out of my creative zone.

I find it much more difficult to get back into the swing of things.

And so, you know, many people will time block.

I block my days, Mondays and Fridays.

And again, we'll talk about this a lot in the next episodes.

I'm going to barely touch on this, but Mondays and Fridays are normally off days.

I use those for recording podcasts.

I use those for onboarding new team members that need to interface with me.

I use those to go lay outside in the sunshine or go to

the garden or run errands.

Every other Tuesday is a call day or Workday.

Wednesdays are normally a Workday and my personal coaching days

where I get coaching and I do nourishing things within my business.

And then most Thursdays are a Workday or an air.

And that's what the schedule looks like during the week.

And then sometimes I'll work a Saturday or a Sunday.

Let's say maybe I'm going to be gone or maybe the weather's really crappy.

And there's going to be a great day on Wednesday that week I'll switch

also to my days out like that.

That's okay.

But also schedule my emails to go out at a different time.

I'll still schedule my emails throughout during the week or my

communications to go out during the week.

And.

Reiterating those boundaries with my clients and with my team

allows me a to ask for support if I need it and B to encourage

them to set their own boundaries.

Because again, there's a seasonality to the work that we do, right.

There's a busy season, December, January through April, really busy the rest

of the year with a few kind of speed.

Is more even keel.

And I think it's really important that our team be taking weekends off.

They be taking, you know, the days off that they have committed to taking off

because it's really easy in the day and age where we all work from home

on our team and we all work remotely.

You get an I've caught myself doing this.

You might get bored or you don't really have anything to go do.

And you find yourself categorizing accounting transactions and zero or

replying to Voxer or getting into emails.

And that's not how I want my team to be living.

That's not the business that I want to be building.

That's not the life that I want to be living.

I love what I do.

I love what my business does.

I love the services and the knowledge that we provide for our client.

That does not mean that we don't all have things that drive us outside of work.

And so by having those boundaries, it allows us to more fully make time

for the things outside of work that nourish us, that light us up and

that make us excited to be here.

And that make us joyful individuals and setting those boundaries, tweaking those

boundaries and enforcing those boundaries.

R one of the most important things that you can do for yourself and

then assessing them, are these boundaries still serving me?

Are these feeling good?

Are these feeling aligned?

Does something need to change?

Does this personal boundary that I've set?

maybe In the evenings, I want to spend time, you know, disconnected with family

or at night, this is actually one of my.

My phone, doesn't go into the bedroom with me.

My phone gets plugged in in the kitchen and I put, do not disturb on and I get

to it the next morning when I get to it the next morning, that's something that

I really enjoy for being able to unplug, being able to step away, being able to

take care of myself and my well-being.

And I have noticed that I am a significantly happier, healthier.

Individual and I can't encourage all of you enough to set boundaries and setting

boundaries and corporate can be, I think really challenging setting boundaries may

mean changing jobs, which can be scary.

Setting boundaries may look like not answering emails on the weekend.

It may look like setting a precedent when you're off on vacation.

You are not accessible.

You are off on vacation.

And if the company can't cover you all while you're

gone, that's not your problem.

That is their problem.

Again, that may mean you need to leave, or you need to look for somewhere else.

But if a company is not willing or able to.

Honor your boundaries.

Then it's not a company that you should be working at long-term anyways, if they

don't respect that you need to be rested, that you need to be able to sleep, that

you need to be able to have fun, that you need to be able to have a life outside of

work that you need to go to leave for the day, whether that's leaving your desk.

Cause you work from home, whether that's leaving your office and you

need to be able to leave and be done, you need to be able to set

boundaries around your working with.

You need to be able to take a vacation where you're not expected to work

because it's called paid time off, not paid time on call for any questions

that may arise in emails that come through unplug take your vacation time.

Even if it's a staycation, especially if finances are tough, taking time,

not telling anyone where you're going.

Just, Hey, I'm not going to be accessible.

Put your out of office message on your email.

Put your phone on, do not disturb or shut your phone off.

If you can.

And step away if you have paid time to take, and if you don't or if

they're not honoring it or you come back and it's a shit show because

they've been reaching out to you and no one else has filled your position.

And there's all these things for you to do have those difficult conversations

with your employer, with your manager and.

Look to leave, start applying elsewhere, whether that's you going for a job,

whether that's you starting, you know, your own business, becoming

more cognizant of when your boundaries are being disrespected, disregarded

or ignored will allow you to be more aware of when you need to be enforcing

them of the things that matter to you and will allow you to live a life.