Shownotes
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In this episode of "A Changed Mind" our host David Bayer, explores the power of mastery in personal growth. David challenges the notion that constant novelty is necessary for progress, emphasizing the importance of consistently applying fundamental principles. David breaks down the essence of personal development to a single concept: noticing and stopping negative thoughts.
David illustrates this through various scenarios, addressing common obstacles like anxiety, career dissatisfaction, and financial stress. Drawing from his own experiences with addiction recovery, David highlights the value of incremental progress and persistence.
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Available on Amazon: A Changed Mind: Go Beyond Self Awareness, Rewire Your Brain & Reengineer Your Reality
Download the Audiobook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DCKF721M
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What We Explored This Episode
3:04 The core of personal growth simplified
8:40 Overcoming negative thought patterns and habits
11:43 Lessons from addiction recovery and sobriety
14:46 The importance of repetition in mastery
Memorable Quotes
"Notice any negative thoughts that don't feel good and stop thinking them. That's it. You never have to watch another video again. You never have to take another course again. You're done. Congratulations. Now what's the problem? The problem is doing it."
"Your brain doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality. Through the power of imagination, you can actually install memories of a future that hasn't happened yet."
"Most people never achieve mastery because they want something more rather than to go deeper on the few things that matter most."
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Check out ‘A Changed Mind’ on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1642939862
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Transcripts
I'm just tired of my career and living a life I'm not passionate about, but I don't know what I want. So I've been stressing out this morning because you also said, I don't need to figure out the how, but I don't even know what I want. I don't even know what my desire is. And I say, all right, I hear you, but if you know what you don't want, then you know what you do want. That's actually the beautiful thing about experiencing the contrast of our life or the problems is that they give us a moment of clarity because we don't want those things. And so we must therefore want the opposite of whatever that thing is. You don't want a chronic health condition or pain in your body. You want to feel good and safe in your body. You don't want to be alone for the rest of your life. You want to find a soulmate. You don't want to be experiencing financial insecurity. You want prosperity and abundance. You don't want frustration and hustle and grind in your business. You want ease and flow. So know that these problems are not there to curse you for the rest of your life. They're there to help inform you of what you want. And now we get back into the practice. Focus your attention on the desire and let the how unfold. So what you want is more clarity around your purpose and what you're meant to do. So you have that desire. Don't worry about how, how you're going to Figure it out what the perfect plan is. Hold that intention and over time you'll get the clarity and the path will unfold. You leave. That's mastery. You come back the next day, you say, david, you keep telling me the same thing. Tell me something new. And I say, what's the problem? You say, well, I'm feeling anxiety this morning and I don't want to feel the anxiety anymore. And there must be something more than what you're telling me, otherwise I wouldn't still be feeling this anxiety. And I say, look, you feel the anxiety because you've trained your nervous system that way. What are you thinking when you're feeling the anxiety? And you say, I'm thinking there's something wrong with me and what if this anxiety doesn't go away? And what if it debilitates me and I'm not able to live a normal life? And I say, okay, stop thinking those negative thoughts. That's what's perpetuating your anxiety. Put your attention on other thoughts and have a desire for less anxiety and more peace and give it some time and the how will unfold and the result must materialize. And you yell at me and you say, but you just keep telling me the same thing. Tell me something different, Mastery. When I realized that I was a drug addict, a sex addict and an alcoholic, and I started working a 12 step program. There's a tradition within the 12 step program. You go to meetings and they celebrate sobriety. So if you haven't drank for a year, you get a one year chip. If you haven't done drugs for five years, you get a five year chip. If you haven't acted out sexually in 10 years, you get a 10 year medallion. But they also have this chip called the white chip, and it's a 24 hour chip. And you pick up the white chip when you've actually violated your sobriety, when you've picked up the drink or you've picked up the drug or you've picked up the porn. And it's a recommitment to your program of sobriety. And so when I first got into my recovery program, I was going to Sex Addiction Anonymous meetings. And I had developed a program with my therapist and my sponsor where I defined what it would look like for me to be sober in my sexual addiction. And for the most part, I was struggling with pornography. I mean, I was doing a lot of other things like hiring hookers and having one night stands and. But really pornography was the most challenging for me. And so I started going to 12 step meetings. I showed up on the first day, I picked up a white chip because it had been less than 24 hours since I had been sober. And then I came back the next day and I picked up another white chip because I went home that night and looked at pornography. And it was literally months that I could not get through 24 hours without picking up a white chip. But my sponsor and I worked together to take a look at what is it that you were thinking or what was stressing you out that caused you to then act out again. Because ultimately, whether you're drinking or drugging or sexing, what you're doing is you're trying to soothe yourself. Because there are underlying unresolved emotions that are triggers that are creating discomfort for you, and you use the substance to soothe yourself. And so each time we would look at my thought process, we would look at the pain that I was experiencing or the anxiety that I was experiencing, and we'd come up with a game plan. But what was so fascinating was that for the first six months, my mind would come up with a different way to sabotage me. So, for example, the first time that I broke my 24 hour sobriety, it might have been because I was stressed out about something at work. And then my mind told me that if I just looked at a little bit of pornography, I would feel better. And so my sponsor would say, okay, the next time you feel uncomfortable about something with work, you make a phone call instead of looking at pornography. Okay, great. But 24 hours later, my mind would run a different play on me. I'd actually have a fantastic day. And so I think I would celebrate by looking at some pornography. But each time we took a look at the bad plays that my mind was running, which was driving me back into my addiction, and we come up with better plays and I'd practice those plays. And it was small incremental changes on a day to day basis where eventually I was able to stack up some sobriety. I was able to learn so many better plays and get good at running them that as I strung those days together, it started adding up into weeks and months and six months and 12 months later, I picked up my one year medallion. And two years later, I picked up my two year medallion. And five years later, I picked up my five year medallion. This is the process of mastery. And it's the same thing with business. Business is really, really simple. It's a handful of good plays that you need to run as an entrepreneur that we're just not very good at running at first it's the same thing with strength training or yoga.
You go into the yoga studio and it's really simple postures that are very difficult to execute on and you make incremental progress on a day to day basis. And everybody wants the hack. So here's the hack. Do the simple same things over and over again until they become an unconscious competency, until you literally retrain your nervous system to be a different person, to think a different way. Most people never achieve mastery because they want something more rather than to go deeper on the few things that matter most. There was a professional major league baseball player. He was the Golden Glove winner for three years in a row. And that basically means he was the best fielder on the field. And he wins the Golden Glove award and the next day he's out fielding 10,000 ground balls and there's a reporter on the field who comes up to him and says, hey, like you just won the Golden Glove award, don't you think you deserve a day off? Why are you out here fielding 10,000 ground balls? And he said to the reporter, how do you think I became the Golden Glove winner? So if you want more, go watch someone else's channel. But if you want to go deeper and you're interested in mastery, then let's go deep together. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, do me a favor. If you're listening on the audio platforms, leave me a rating or review and subscribe. Seriously, I love getting those five star ratings in the morning. They literally light me up. If you want to pay it forward or pay it back, that's a great way to do it. If you're following on in Studio on YouTube, do me a favor, leave me a comment, let me know what you think around, what's important to you and what you're working on. Developing mastery around subscribe to the channel. Hit the bell icon so you get notifications when I come up with a new episode. And again, if you want to share this episode with somebody who needs to hear it, that is fantastic as well. I love you so much. Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed sharing it and I will see you in the next episode. Hey, it's David. One more thing. If you want to go even deeper on everything we've talked about on today's episode, don't forget to jump over to www.DavidBear.com. you can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter a couple of times a week. I'M going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released, along with additional free trainings. You'll get immediate access to my Free Mind Hack ebook and go even deeper into all the tools, the technologies, the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people establish a changed mind. Don't forget to jump on over to the site and I will see you in the next episode.
