The episode of the Tell Me It Will Be Okay podcast features an interview with New York–licensed psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr. Michael Schwartzman about his book The Anxious Parent: Freeing Yourself from the Stresses and Fears of Parenting and how parents can separate their own anxiety from their child’s needs through reflection and child-development awareness. Schwartzman discusses how modern parenting includes more unknowns, why consistency matters more than occasional “perfect” responses, and how children learn through experience, including useful failure, risk-taking, and independence. He shares personal stories of his own anxious parenting and explains how parents can avoid over-identifying with their child while still providing empathy and guidance. We discuss how “the problem is the point,” encouraging experimentation, tolerating discomfort, and authoring one’s own parenting based on values rather than quick-fix advice.
You can connect with Dr. Schwartzman and learn more about his books at his website, MichaelSchwartzmanPhD.com. He also mentions two books in his podcast. They are:
00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
02:34 How Parenting Changed
06:00 Separating Parent vs Child Anxiety
07:40 Social Media Parenting Fixes
10:55 Consistency Over Perfection
12:50 Developmental Expectations
16:09 Shaping Child and World
17:59 Anxious Parent Origin Story
21:36 Time Travel and Triggers
27:03 Letting Kids Own Their Lives
28:35 Raising Kids to Leave
32:16 Learning Through Adjustment
33:29 Letting Kids Struggle
35:19 Confidence Through Parenting
37:38 Working With Resistance
40:16 Benign Versus Harmful Neglect
43:05 Try It Your Way
43:52 Parenting Resources
46:39 School Psychologist Role
48:15 Becoming A Parent
52:56 Parenting Is Messy
55:06 Problem Is The Point
58:15 Author Your Parenting
01:01:03 Learning Is The Point
01:03:15 Final Takeaways
Mentioned in this episode:
🌟 READY TO FIND YOUR ROOM TO BREATHE?
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🧡 This is not a list of things you’re doing wrong.
🧡 This is not advice.
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