Shownotes
ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders
Welcome to this week’s episode of ADHD Powerful Possibilities, hosted by ADHD Coach Katherine. Today, we explore resilience, breaking down misconceptions and exploring how those with ADHD can harness their unique strengths to build true resilience.
In This Episode:
- Understanding Resilience: What does resilience really mean for those with ADHD? clue: It’s not about ignoring your emotions or pushing through no matter what; it’s about adaptability and flexibility in the face of challenges.
- The Misconceptions of Resilience: Why has resilience gained a negative reputation and how these perceptions can be harmful, especially when they ignore systemic issues and individual mental health needs.
- Strategies for Building Resilience:
- SODAS Method: Situation, Options, Disadvantages, Advantages, Solution. A structured approach to problem-solving that can help when you're feeling overwhelmed.
- STOP Method: Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed. A simple technique to manage emotional dysregulation and ensure thoughtful responses to stress.
- Mindfulness and Neuroplasticity: How practices like mindfulness can alter brain function, supported by insights from neuroscience, to enhance resilience in the ADHD brain.
Key Quotes from the Episode:
- "Instead of thinking about resilience as never feeling down, ignoring our emotions, pushing on no matter what's happening around us—that isn't resilience."
- "Resilience is actually more about adaptability. Becoming flexible and changing with the circumstances and requirements that we find ourselves facing."
Listener Interaction:
- Question of the Week: How do you define resilience? Has your perception changed after listening to today’s episode?
- Call to Action: Share your thoughts on resilience and any strategies you’ve found effective. Connect with me on @adhd_coach_katherine
Upcoming Events:
- Webinar: Join Coach Katherine next month - more details coming soon.
Thank you for tuning in!
BIG NEWS - If you enjoy these episodes I would LOVE your vote at this year's Neurodiversity Awards - I'm in the Entrepreneurs category!
https://www.nationaldiversityawards.co.uk/awards-2024/nominations/katherine-sanders-lighbulb-adhd/
If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing and leaving us a review on your favourite Platform.
Your feedback helps us grow and continue providing great content. Tune in next week for more insightful discussions!
Connect with Katherine here:
Dr Neff - self compassion
Stop Scan Shift - download here
Neurodivergent Practitioners Directory - https://neurodivergentpractitioners.org/
Cameron Gott - ADHD Pyramid of Needs. https://www.camerongott.com/hierarchy-of-adhd-needs
Biederman, J., & Faraone, S. V. (2006). The effects of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder on employment and household income. Medscape General Medicine, 8(3), 12.
- This study explores the impact of ADHD on employment and income, providing valuable insights into the challenges faced by individuals with ADHD in professional settings.
Bölte, S., & Holtmann, M. (2014). Relevance of Resilience in Childhood and Adolescence in the Context of ADHD. ADHD Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorders, 6(4), 211–219.
- This article discusses the significance of resilience in the context of ADHD during childhood and adolescence, highlighting the importance of understanding and fostering resilience in individuals with ADHD from a young age.
Dweck, C. S. (2008). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
- Carol Dweck's book delves into the concept of mindset, particularly the growth mindset, which is relevant for individuals with ADHD in cultivating resilience and embracing challenges as opportunities for growth.
Erickson KI, Voss MW, Prakash RS, Basak C, Szabo A, Chaddock L, Kim JS, Heo S, Alves H, White SM, Wojcicki TR, Mailey E, Vieira VJ, Martin SA, Pence BD, Woods JA, McAuley E, Kramer AF. Exercise training increases size of hippocampus and improves memory. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2011 Feb 15;108(7):3017-22. doi: 10.1073/pnas.1015950108. Epub 2011 Jan 31. PMID: 21282661; PMCID: PMC3041121.
Graziano, P. A., Reavis, R. D., Keane, S. P., & Calkins, S. D. (2007). The role of emotion regulation in children's early academic success. Journal of School Psychology, 45(1), 3–19.
- This study examines the role of emotion regulation in academic success, providing insights into how emotional regulation strategies can contribute to resilience, particularly in academic settings relevant to individuals with ADHD.
Halmøy, A., Fasmer, O. B., Gillberg, C., & Haavik, J. (2009). Occupational outcome in adult ADHD: impact of symptom profile, comorbid psychiatric problems, and treatment: a cross-sectional study of 414 clinically diagnosed adult ADHD patients. Journal of Attention Disorders, 13(2), 175–187.
- This study investigates the occupational outcomes of adults with ADHD, shedding light on the challenges they face in professional settings and the role of resilience in navigating these challenges.
Loe, I. M., & Feldman, H. M. (2007). Academic and educational outcomes of children with ADHD. Journal of Pediatric Psychology, 32(6), 643–654.
- This article discusses the academic and educational outcomes of children with ADHD, highlighting the importance of resilience in overcoming academic challenges and achieving success in educational settings.
Ramsay, J. R., Rostain, A. L., & Bishop, J. (2016). The Adult ADHD Tool Kit: Using CBT to Facilitate Coping Inside and Out. Routledge.
- This book offers practical tools and strategies, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), for coping with ADHD challenges in adulthood, emphasizing the role of resilience in managing symptoms and improving overall functioning.
Stixrud, W., & Johnson, N. (2018). The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. Penguin Books.
- William Stixrud and Ned Johnson's book explores the importance of autonomy and resilience in children and adolescents, providing insights into fostering resilience from a young age, which is relevant for individuals with ADHD.
Littman, A. J., White, E., Satia, J. A., Bowen, D. J., & Kristal, A. R. (2006). Reliability and validity of 2 single-item measures of psychosocial stress. Epidemiology, 17(4), 398-403.
- This study assesses the reliability and validity of single-item measures of psychosocial stress, which are relevant for understanding the relationship between stress, resilience, and ADHD symptoms.
Marshall, S. A., Zentall, S. S., & Muchinsky, M. M. (2011). Achievement, emotional intelligence, and personality: A study of ADHD and non-ADHD college students. Journal of Attention Disorders, 15(2), 130-139.
- Investigating the relationship between achievement, emotional intelligence, and personality traits in college students with and without ADHD, this study sheds light on factors contributing to resilience and success in academic settings.
Mikami, A. Y., & Hinshaw, S. P. (2006). Resilient adolescent adjustment among girls: Buffers of childhood peer rejection and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 34(6), 823-837.
- This research explores factors contributing to resilient adjustment in adolescent girls, including the buffering effects of childhood peer rejection and ADHD symptoms, offering insights into protective factors that promote resilience.
Molina, B. S., Hinshaw, S. P., Swanson, J. M., Arnold, L. E., Vitiello, B., Jensen, P. S., ... & Houck, P. R. (2009). The MTA at 8 years: Prospective follow-up of children treated for combined-type ADHD in a multisite study. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 48(5), 484-500.
- This longitudinal study provides insights into the long-term outcomes of children with ADHD, including factors associated with resilience and positive adjustment over time.
Owens, J. S., Goldfine, M. E., Evangelista, N. M., Hoza, B., & Kaiser, N. M. (2007). A critical review of self-perceptions and the positive illusory bias in children with ADHD. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 10(4), 335-351.
- Examining self-perceptions and the positive illusory bias in children with ADHD, this review offers insights into factors that may enhance resilience and self-esteem in individuals with ADHD.
Skirrow, C., McLoughlin, G., Kuntsi, J., & Asherson, P. (2009). Behavioral, neurocognitive and treatment overlap between attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and mood instability. Expert Review of Neurotherapeutics, 9(4), 489-503.
- This article explores the overlap between ADHD and mood instability, shedding light on potential comorbidities that may impact resilience and treatment outcomes in individuals with ADHD.
Solanto, M. V. (2011). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for adult ADHD: Targeting executive dysfunction. Guilford Press.
- This book presents cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) approaches tailored specifically for adults with ADHD, focusing on addressing executive dysfunction and enhancing coping strategies, which are crucial for resilience.
Young, S., Adamou, M., Bolea, B., Gudjonsson, G., Müller, U., Pitts, M., ... & Asherson, P. (2011). The identification and management of ADHD offenders within the criminal justice system: A consensus statement from the UK Adult ADHD Network and criminal justice agencies. BMC Psychiatry, 11(1), 32.
- This consensus statement addresses the identification and management of ADHD within the criminal justice system, highlighting the importance of understanding ADHD-related challenges and fostering resilience among individuals involved in the criminal justice system.
Transcripts
Hey, my friend, it is ADHD, powerful
possibilities, and I am ADHD.
2
:Coach Catherine.
3
:This week, we are going to explore.
4
:Resilience.
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:And I can already hear people
saying, oh my goodness.
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:First of all, she was talking about.
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:Possibilities and no she's
talking about resilience.
8
:Bear with me because I think this
is a really important episode.
9
:I will be honest.
10
:ADHD doesn't make life simple.
11
:And I was talking to.
12
:A young person this week, who
said, if I could remove my
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:ADHD or my autism, I would.
14
:Because I think life would
be simpler without them.
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:I didn't.
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:Really feel qualified.
17
:To say that yes, it would, or no,
it wouldn't because I've only ever
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:lived within Euro divergent brain.
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:Which I didn't know
about until my forties.
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:I would see that.
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:Some of the challenges I
have faced and my life.
22
:I have survived, I think because of a
part of ADHD, which keeps me looking for.
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:Solutions to problems.
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:That I think other people
either wouldn't notice.
25
:Or would.
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:Just decide to meet the whole thing.
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:Not worth pursuing.
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:So if you are a person with
ADHD or autism, And you also
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:are somebody who does know.
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:Quit.
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:But then burns out quite spectacularly.
32
:You're not alone.
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:And one of the reasons that I've been able
to keep going for so long consistently
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:now, Since my diagnosis almost 10
years ago is I understand my brain.
35
:And what I need.
36
:And what's important.
37
:And because of that, I want to talk about
this idea of resilience with you today.
38
:Because it's something that we all
need, but it's massively misunderstood.
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:When you hear the word resilience,
what is it that pops into your head?
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:Is it a school assembly from a
younger listeners Obie you've
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:had to school assemblies on
resilience and a growth mindset.
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:I have no doubt.
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:Is it a self-help guru somebody's
telling you about how to
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:keep going no matter what.
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:Is it an older person who
has a stiff upper lip.
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:And says, you talk too much about
emotions or you just have to keep going.
47
:What does resilience mean to you?
48
:Because most of us have got it wrong.
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:Instead of thinking about resilience as
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:never feeling down, ignoring our emotions.
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:Pushing on no matter
what's happening around us.
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:That isn't resilience.
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:Instead.
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:Resilience is actually
more about adaptability.
55
:Becoming flexible and changing with
the circumstances and requirements
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:that we find ourselves facing.
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:And still making progress towards
our big goals or visions or dreams.
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:But what has given resilience a bad name?
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:I'm going to mention very
brieflyhigh line reasons why.
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:So many people are wary
when you see resilience.
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:The first is people think it means
we have to rely only on ourselves.
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:We can't ask for help, we
can't rely on other people.
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:It's all down to your inner resources.
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:And of course that massively
ignores the inequalities that
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:we face in the world today.
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:There was an article in a
national newspaper recently
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:that said a healthy lifestyle.
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:MI offset your genetic.
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:Predisposition to a shorter lifespan.
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:By up to 60% and can increase
your lifespan by five years.
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:A healthy lifestyle means.
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:Being fit and active having
access to fresh, healthy food.
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:And adequate housing.
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:This is a massive ask in the
world as it stands today.
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:And there are significant numbers of
people in the population who do not have.
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:That available to them.
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:So resilience where we're asking
people to only rely on themselves.
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:Overlooks the structural
inequality and barriers.
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:That a majority of
people face in the world.
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:We don't all have the same access
to healthcare or education or
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:support from family or friends.
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:Or safe, adequate housing, which is
wild in a first world, Western country.
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:But there you go.
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:So many people feel resilience as
a dismissive thing to talk about.
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:Not the way I understand it, but
I know why they feel that way.
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:And the work please.
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:A lot of big corporations.
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:Talk about resilience.
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:And growth.
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:And they bring in people like
me to talk to their employees
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:about resilience and wellbeing.
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:Without addressing the systemic causes.
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:Of burnout.
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:Employee dissatisfaction.
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:Why people are leaving
because they're exhausted.
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:It's easier to put the.
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:Burden of responsibility for
change on to the individual.
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:Was I seeing actually our company culture,
our institutional culture is unhealthy
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:for the human beings that we need.
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:To make it a living, breathing, thriving,
successful business or institution.
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:So resilience has got a bad reputation.
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:Because it's become a way of shifting.
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:The onus for changed from the
company to the individual.
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:And of course that leads into
the other downside of resilience,
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:which is the impact it can have on
people with mental health problems.
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:I have had anxiety and
depression in the past.
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:And I can tell, talking about
resilience would not help.
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:Because when you are unwell.
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:It makes no sense.
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:It's like telling somebody with a broken
leg, they just have to think positive.
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:When they're trying to
walk around to the shops.
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:The leg is broken and it
doesn't matter what they think.
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:When we talk about resilience
in the context of mental house.
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:Quite often people feel they're not
able to express how they're feeling.
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:And so the, hold it back and we know
that is the worst thing you can do.
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:It means you're likely to have a
worse outcome and it's going to
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:take longer for you to recover.
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:So talking about resilience is
unhelpful for many people because
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:they think it means he can't
express how they're feeling.
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:And of course it becomes another label.
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:Is somebody resilient or not?
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:And especially for young people.
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:Eh, and the school or university system.
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:If the label does not resilient.
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:The expectation of what they can achieve
and what they can do goes down rapidly.
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:So resilience has a label.
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:Is a huge oversimplification.
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:Of all the things that
are happening to them.
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:At that point.
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:What is resilience is
certainly from an ADHD.
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:Point of view, it's about
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:using our neurological resources.
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:Using our brain, the strengths
that we were talking about before.
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:To sustain our wellbeing.
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:In the face of the ADHD challenges.
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:That we are living with.
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:Partly because of our noodle
logy and partly because of
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:the way the world is designed.
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:And the most important thing I want you
to take away is resilience is a skill.
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:Not treat.
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:It's not something you're born with.
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:Is something.
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:That you are taught that you can learn.
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:That you can observe.
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:That can be modeled for you.
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:And one of the reasons that's
very important with ADHD is
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:because we are more likely.
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:To avoid the difficult, the painful,
the rejection, the tasks, the people,
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:the circumstances that make us feel bad.
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:But if we have been given the
tools to build resilience, And we
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:understand that it's something we
can grow, like learning French.
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:If you're a native English speaker.
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:Then that gives you some hope.
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:Yes, this is difficult.
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:Yes.
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:I'm feeling really insecure.
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:I'm feeling I'm embarrassed.
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:I feel rejected.
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:But I know I've got these skills
and this information that I can use.
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:It's about having the right tools.
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:And it's more important if you're
lately to run into a problem
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:that requires that resilience.
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:And that group of skills more often.
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:So we've explained why resilience has
got a bad name and all the negative
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:things that people associate with it.
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:But we've also.
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:Explained it actually, it's
something that you can learn is
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:something that you can develop.
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:It's like any other skill
or a collection of tools.
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:That you can use.
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:And they're particularly
useful for people with ADHD,
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:so let's think about.
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:Resilience under noodle biology of ADHD.
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:Neurobiology is just a fancy word
for talking about your brain and how
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:it's built and have it functions.
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:But.
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:with ADHD.
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:You have heard me mentioned
many times executive functions.
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:That's important because
people tend to think.
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:ADHD is just a lack of world power.
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:Where it is.
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:We know it's about the structure.
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:That is the size, the
thickness, the connections.
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:And the noodle chemistry.
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:The amount of noodle transmitters,
dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin.
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:That you have in your brain.
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:Which is different.
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:And meet Luke leak, a lack of willpower
or grit or resilience to somebody else.
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:To me looks like.
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:This is more difficult for your brain.
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:However, the other thing we
know about ADHD brains is Z can
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:change like any other brain.
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:There's an element of noodle
plasticity, or the ability to
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:change and reform your brain.
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:Up to a point.
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:At any time in your life?
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:We used to think that
was just in childhood.
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:And sure it's easier in childhood.
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:That's why we have these
great bursts of learning.
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:And there are points in our life
where we prudent connections.
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:But we also know that you can
continue to make new connections.
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:We knew from FMRs functional brain scans.
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:The change is possible.
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:At any age in a brain.
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:ADHD or not.
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:But it's going to look different
depending on for what your baseline is.
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:Things that can help to change
the shape of your brain.
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:I was reading by Something.
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:By a guy called Goggins,
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:who was on the Huberman podcast.
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:And he spoke eloquently about
forcing himself to do things he
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:hates to grow a certain part of
his brain that he was told is.
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:Connected to willpower
and resilience and reward.
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:I won't go into detail.
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:It could be a whole episode on its own.
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:But he was talking about, I'm going
to run so many miles every day.
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:Cause I hate it.
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:It makes this bit of my brain bigger.
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:This bit of my brain is
to do with living longer.
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:Being more resilient.
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:There's a word for that, which
I wouldn't use on a PG rated.
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:Podcast, but.
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:It's the idea that we can target
specific regions of our brain.
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:By making ourselves do something we
hate is a massive oversimplification.
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:To put it bluntly.
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:However, there are things that we can do.
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:That help the whole of our brain.
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:The rest of our body.
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:And of course the first one I would
suggest is always a mindfulness practice.
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:That mindfulness can be a type of walking.
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:It can be a few breaths in the morning.
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:It can be.
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:A type of reading or journaling.
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:It's being.
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:Absolutely alive.
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:To the reality of the present
moment and in your body.
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:I'm not talking about
meditating for 45 minutes.
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:It start.
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:Bringing yourself back into where you are.
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:Can you feel under your feet?
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:What can you touch with your fingers?
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:What does the air feel like?
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:Cause it goes in through your
nose and out through your mouth.
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:That's mindfulness and it
doesn't have to be sustained.
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:For a very long time for your brain
to start feeling improvements.
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:If you want to practice daily.
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:Dr.
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:Kristin Neff on
self-compassion website has.
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:Five to 10 minute practices that
I think are especially useful.
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:For people with ADHD on their free.
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:I will include a link down below.
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:And zoos have been demonstrated
to change your brain so you
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:can do it in 10 minutes a day.
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:In two weeks.
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:Don't discount mindfulness,
because you have ADHD.
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:It is possible and it can be adapted.
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:Of course, there are types of
therapy that can help with.
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:Neuroplasticity with helping you to think
differently, which is what happens when
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:your brain sheep and function is altered.
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:CBT DBT.
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:A C T all of these have at all.
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:It comes down to what works for you.
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:The.
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:Experience and the skill of the
therapist that you're seeing.
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:Their willingness to adapt it for
you for neurodivergent brains.
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:. It's a variable thing.
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:So I'm not going to
recommend one over the other.
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:I will include a link to an UDA
divergent practitioners website.
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:Again, I cannot speak to
any of them in particular.
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:Are there things that can help
your brain exercise every week?
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:I mentioned it in some form or another.
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:It is wonderful for your brain.
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:That's it.
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:That's all you need to know.
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:Also, I have a statistic that
I'm going to share with you.
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:Which is exercise training.
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:I've been shown to increase
hippocampus volume.
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:That's the hippocampus part of your brain.
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:Buy one to 2%.
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:And that basically reverses the loss
of volume that we experience as we age.
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:So not only does exercise make you
feel good and improve your emotions.
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:It can reverse your brain's aging rate.
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:So another reason to get
out there and start moving.
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:And I will include a link
to that in the show notes.
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:Of course.
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:And the other thing that's really good
for neuroplasticity is learning things.
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:Now I would say this cause my top
strengths is an a love of learning.
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:But when we learn new things,
Our brain is forced to make
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:new connections, to do things
differently, to process information.
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:That we haven't come across before.
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:So you may feel like your
ADHD brain is destined.
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:To keep you stuck and to
make life more difficult.
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:There are ways we can help it to
function at its absolute best.
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:And improve those structures and
connections and the floor of those
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:lovely neuro-transmitters with exercise.
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:Meeting new people, learning new things.
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:But let's get to the meat and potatoes.
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:The strategies to improve your resilience.
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:In the positive sense of what
we want resilience to be.
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:First of all, there are
five elements to resilience.
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:I think.
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:Good to set out.
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:So we know what we're talking about.
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:The first one, I want to talk about.
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:Is being aware of our
boundaries and limits.
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:There's no point.
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:Pushing yourself into burnout and then
demanding that you miraculously recover.
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:The important thing.
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:And what makes you resilient is when
you recognize them without judgment.
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:You understand the limit of your energy?
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:You understand the amount of
capacity you have and you accept it.
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:That is the first foundation.
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:To resilience.
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:The second element of resilience is when
we adapt things for our individual needs.
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:I am a big visual fan,
so I have color coded.
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:Calendars.
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:I have planners.
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:I have.
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:Pictures on my Google drive files.
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:The name section, I have a little
emoji or icon before the name.
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:So that I can identify
documents really quickly.
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:By the project or for what
kind of tasks they do.
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:Adapting tools and
strategies for you needs.
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:Is a foundational part
of building a resilient.
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:Life.
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:Remember resilience is about adapting.
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:And changing circumstances
to meet your needs.
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:And still having that
progress, that forward motion.
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:The other element we want to include
in our resilience foundation.
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:For people with ADHD in particular.
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:Is a safe supporting
unaccepting environment.
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:And that means we need to build a network.
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:Of people who understand us.
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:Who accept us.
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:At home.
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:At work in education.
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:And it means people don't just accept us.
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:Always a bit conflicted about
acceptance or awareness.
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:I think we need to move to affirmation.
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:At this point where people
appreciate the value of having
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:neurodivergent members of staff.
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:Usually divergent business leaders.
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:We see the world differently and we
bring a different set of strengths gifts.
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:And values very often.
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:We need to affirm that.
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:Not just accepted.
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:So building your network of people who
get you in a really deep way is essential.
348
:When we want to become more resilient.
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:Able to navigate.
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:Changing circumstances and demands.
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:Of course, another aspect of resilience
is continuous learning and self-discovery.
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:I was talking to somebody about a
coach called Cameron Gott, who I really
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:admire and he's developed an ADHD.
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:Hierarchy of needs, which is a kind of
springboard off of Maslow\s hierarchy.
355
:And at the top as always is.
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:The self-awareness
self-acceptance self-development.
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:Self-actualization and for people
with ADHD, it's about really
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:understanding unaccepting ourselves.
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:And that means we are constantly.
360
:Going to be learning
more about what we need.
361
:How our brain works.
362
:How we can be successful.
363
:And adapting the strategies that
we use on a day-by-day basis.
364
:That doesn't mean you need to
change every single saying.
365
:Every single day.
366
:But it does mean we need to
have some tolerance built in.
367
:I explained it today, like a rubber band.
368
:So your rubber band can go from.
369
:not stretchy at all to really quite long.
370
:And that is what we want to build in
terms of frameworks and strategies.
371
:something that adapts.
372
:both with our energy and capacity, and
also was the circumstances we're in.
373
:If things are too rigid,
they're not resilient.
374
:They will break and crumble.
375
:I don't want that for you.
376
:And the final element.
377
:Of resilience.
378
:For us.
379
:Is to be able to advocate
for their own needs.
380
:And of course to do that, we'd
need to understand ourselves.
381
:What we need.
382
:How we work best.
383
:So let's look at a couple of
tools, a couple of strategies
384
:that you can use . When you are
facing a challenge or a problem, a.
385
:A set back.
386
:That.
387
:Maybe feels a bit overwhelming.
388
:One of them is from the kind
of world of CBT and therapy.
389
:One of them is a more
general coaching type.
390
:Positive psychology type tool.
391
:No.
392
:Thinking about ADHD brains.
393
:We get overwhelmed quite quickly.
394
:If there's too much going
on too much information.
395
:Too many choices indecision is a
big challenge for people with ADHD.
396
:Because of our brain structure.
397
:It's not a personal flaw.
398
:You just have a brain that can
see too many possibilities.
399
:And struggles to sort through
much of the information.
400
:You may be somebody with ADHD who can spot
a pattern and a solution very quickly.
401
:But for those of us who get overwhelmed
and have trouble making decisions.
402
:The SODAS method is a useful
thing to have in your toolkit.
403
:So when we want to make a
decision or solve a problem, We
404
:use SODAS which is situation.
405
:Options.
406
:Disadvantages.
407
:Advantages.
408
:And solution, and it's a step-by-step
way to look at what's going on.
409
:And help you to break down.
410
:And one of the reasons that these
structured models are really
411
:helpful is because that's right.
412
:When we are under stress when our
amygdala is activated, when it detect
413
:a threat, whether that is from the guy
who nearly drove into the side of you
414
:in the car park at the local Sainsburys.
415
:Or a bear.
416
:The logical.
417
:Circuit that deals with.
418
:Solving bigger problems,
your prefrontal cortex.
419
:It's less easily available.
420
:I used to see it goes offline.
421
:And I still think in those
terms, But more accurately.
422
:your amygdala is just shouting
a bit louder the prefrontal
423
:cortex is still there.
424
:We just can't heat it.
425
:So much, and there's a
capacity issue with ADHD.
426
:Which is the dominant circuit.
427
:And at the moment when you have a bear
or a guy going into the side of your
428
:car, It's not the one that helps you
decide how to deal with a challenge.
429
:So let's get back to sodas.
430
:The situation.
431
:It's the first step.
432
:And you can identify or the set back
433
:what's the problem.
434
:And then we get to do a brain
dump, and this is really good
435
:for people with ADHD because we
have lots of ideas and solutions.
436
:So for options.
437
:Get it all out there.
438
:What are the possible options
that you have available?
439
:Even the ones that you
don't sink her available.
440
:Just get them out there.
441
:Then we're going to look at the
disadvantages and advantages
442
:of each of those options.
443
:Obviously.
444
:Some of them are not
going to be accessible.
445
:They're not going to be viable.
446
:But there are advantages and
disadvantages to every option or choice.
447
:That you've listed.
448
:And your brain has given
you them for a reason.
449
:What are the ID?
450
:Really late CLI, but they
come with a great cost.
451
:We up.
452
:And then finally we choose the one
that suits us best in that moment.
453
:Which we can implement and take action on.
454
:So the soda's message is about.
455
:Just helping you to break down what
might feel like an overwhelming
456
:problem when part of your brain is
busy, shouting, too loud for you
457
:to hear as a decision making part.
458
:This is really common.
459
:If you're running your own business.
460
:And that are times when I
have too many things going on.
461
:Shocking.
462
:But I'm.
463
:The person with ADHD.
464
:And I have used us in the past to
make a decision based on what's
465
:the best possible outcome right
now there's no perfect solution.
466
:And I think that's what the soul
does message is helpful for.
467
:It allows you to see.
468
:What's the best option right now.
469
:What can you implement?
470
:Not what is your perfect outcome?
471
:The second model is the stop technique.
472
:And again, this is one of those general
techniques that flipped around the
473
:internet and books and things these days.
474
:I don't have an original source for it.
475
:The stop scan shift model is fairly like
this slightly different it's adapted for
476
:use with a variety of people of all ages.
477
:But the stop method.
478
:Is really good.
479
:Like stoke scan and shift for
those moments when you're feeling.
480
:Emotionally dysregulated.
481
:So we knew that emotional regulation is a
challenge for people with ADHD, emotional
482
:regulation is an executive function.
483
:Dr.
484
:Barkley thinks it's the
major challenge we face.
485
:Whether you use my stop scan shift
technique, which I will include
486
:a link to in the show notes.
487
:Or you use the stop method.
488
:It doesn't really matter, but it's about.
489
:S stopping.
490
:So you stand still.
491
:You stop.
492
:T you take a brace.
493
:That is literally.
494
:Into a, you knows.
495
:It was three or most.
496
:Obsessive.
497
:Your circumstances and the situation.
498
:Without judgment.
499
:Then you proceed.
500
:Stopes can in shift, goes
into a lot more detail.
501
:It's fairly similar.
502
:We stop whatever we're doing.
503
:We scan our bodies, our
thoughts, our environment.
504
:And then we shift, where do we want to be?
505
:What can we do differently?
506
:And the.
507
:PDF tangle.
508
:It goes into in quite a bit of detail.
509
:This is really helpful.
510
:And it's something that I have used a lot.
511
:Being online on social media.
512
:When you are.
513
:Putting yourself out there as a coach,
as a business person, as an entrepreneur.
514
:There will be times when people.
515
:Say sayings or things that cause
you to have an emotional reaction.
516
:The stop scan and shift or stop method.
517
:Has really helped me to
dial back my reactions.
518
:Because they were not always
appropriate for a woman of 51.
519
:And.
520
:Yes.
521
:Things still hurt.
522
:Yes.
523
:I'm still surprised by some things.
524
:Not only have I built up
some fabulous bone disease.
525
:But I know use this for when
things jump out at me unexpectedly.
526
:More generally.
527
:Think about things like Carol Dweck's
broaden and build or gross mindset.
528
:That idea that we can change.
529
:And that it's possible for everyone.
530
:To develop skills and to change how we
behave, how we respond to what we know.
531
:One of the slight downsides
I see with this is people.
532
:Perhaps get disheartened too quickly.
533
:And that can occur if we don't see
things going wrong as a chance to learn.
534
:I'm thinking of Ben's Ander and his
ho fascinating when things go wrong.
535
:Who fascinating.
536
:It's more information.
537
:It's more data.
538
:So if you have a gross mindset, try
to understand, there will be problems.
539
:Things will go wrong.
540
:You can either show plot, twist,
or hoe fascinating or more data.
541
:It doesn't matter.
542
:The other thing to look out for.
543
:Is, are you celebrating your success
or are you appreciating your effort?
544
:And there will be times when success
doesn't come quickly, especially
545
:if you're in business for yourself.
546
:It can take years.
547
:A few years for you to
have a successful business.
548
:Obviously.
549
:If things are going terribly
at home, you may need to re
550
:evaluate your business model.
551
:But think about, am I appreciating
the effort that I put in every week?
552
:The hours that I dedicate.
553
:Appreciate the effort.
554
:Not just the outcome and the success.
555
:Because that is going to make it easier.
556
:To persist and get closer to your
final destination site is resilience.
557
:So to summarize how we're going
to build a resilient mindset.
558
:In the positive possible
sense of resilience.
559
:What can you specifically do?
560
:First of all, what do we mean by that?
561
:We mean we're able to surf.
562
:The setbacks.
563
:And see things going wrong as
chances for us to grow, to change,
564
:to plot twist her fascinating.
565
:Resilience means.
566
:We cope when things go wrong
and we use that information.
567
:To change direction.
568
:Rather than give up.
569
:And this is especially important.
570
:If you are.
571
:Someone with ADHD who
gets frustrated easily.
572
:First of all, a great thing to
have with a resilient mindset.
573
:If you're an ADHD person,
especially if you're in business.
574
:Is create flexible
destinations, flexible goals.
575
:Think again about that rubber band.
576
:You might have a big stretch
goal, but having a flexible goal.
577
:That is.
578
:Yes, ambitious and reaches up big dream.
579
:But it's got.
580
:Bill N milestones is built
in check point support.
581
:Whatever you want to call them.
582
:Make sure that it's not so far off.
583
:And it's not so rigid.
584
:That you can't get to a point.
585
:So actually this is really good.
586
:This is great.
587
:And although lots of people
talk about smart goals.
588
:I have got a model called craft, which I
think is more useful for people with ADHD.
589
:And I will be discussing
that in a webinar.
590
:In next months in May 2024, you
will be able to download it,
591
:but if you want to come live.
592
:I will be letting you know
more about that very soon.
593
:The other thing that is really important
for resilience and for resilient mindset.
594
:Is that self-compassion.
595
:I will include a link to Dr.
596
:Kristin Neff, who is my go-to
person for self-compassion.
597
:But self-compassion also takes the box
for mindfulness and for neuro-plasticity.
598
:So self-compassion is something
that allows you to persist.
599
:Adapt, thrive.
600
:And manage some really challenging times.
601
:I don't talk about it much, but
junior pandemic, I worked in
602
:NHS and it was self-compassion.
603
:Practice that.
604
:That helped me recover from burnout.
605
:I'm a big fan.
606
:And I think it's something
that everyone benefits from.
607
:We also want to focus on building
these routines and frameworks
608
:that are suitable for us.
609
:Because if you're surfing the setbacks
having a routine or a framework that
610
:suits your brain and your way of life.
611
:Allows you to adapt how you're working.
612
:In a way that aligns with
your strengths, your NGS.
613
:You're peaks of energy.
614
:And I'm going to talk about
energy and time blocking and
615
:things again, in a future.
616
:But what is your routine?
617
:I understand.
618
:Some of us who run
businesses have families.
619
:Some of us have families with
disabilities with other demands.
620
:It's not easy.
621
:You may discover that.
622
:The only time you get to focus
is between 10 and 12 at night.
623
:I cannot support that as
a way to work long term.
624
:If it allows you to get something done
in the short term so that you can build
625
:a more sustainable, flexible routine.
626
:In the short term, I would tease.
627
:Okay.
628
:But don't let it go on too long.
629
:And I will confess no,
I have made a mistake.
630
:I built a routine that
didn't include enough time.
631
:For exercise and I am
paying the price for that.
632
:So don't do what I've done.
633
:What I'm trying to undo And change
was my morning routines with Elsbeth.
634
:Try to build a routine to
allows you to include things
635
:that we know are good for ADHD.
636
:Including exercise.
637
:I think the most important one
is to change how we think about.
638
:Things going wrong and setbacks.
639
:This is.
640
:Difficult because some of it
is going to sound privileged
641
:and I'm not going to deny.
642
:As a person, I come from a
place of considerable privilege
643
:compared to many people.
644
:But I'm also the first person in my
working class family to go to university.
645
:I've grown up with a
undiagnosed disability.
646
:Of catering responsibilities.
647
:And I live in, frankly.
648
:Quite stressful times, along with you.
649
:Privileges Flexible thing here.
650
:But how we think about
what's happening to us.
651
:Is really important for
how resilient we are.
652
:And the last five years.
653
:Have been so challenging.
654
:I think if I didn't have the
resilience that I'd already developed.
655
:It would be almost impossible
to be where I am today.
656
:And that means.
657
:Surfing the setbacks.
658
:It means.
659
:Adapting my routine.
660
:It means all of those things.
661
:And having a soul pattern, a main set.
662
:It says pulls out was interesting.
663
:How can I change that?
664
:How can I adapt that?
665
:How can I address that inequality?
666
:How can I live with this?
667
:Change in my circumstance.
668
:In a way that still makes me feel good.
669
:It means.
670
:What skills and resources have I got?
671
:The alone me to make
the most of where I am.
672
:But the also acknowledge with my
self-compassion tools, this kind
673
:of sucks, but it's not forever.
674
:One thing I know.
675
:And it's something I've developed.
676
:Through the self-compassion practice.
677
:Is that things are constantly changing.
678
:And things can change for the base term.
679
:Even if things changed for
the worse in the short term.
680
:I have a fundamental belief.
681
:Things tend towards the good and.
682
:I like to think of Sherlock Holmes.
683
:When I get like that.
684
:There's a lane in the Naval treaty.
685
:Where Charlotte Combs has gone to visit.
686
:A young man, who's had a nervous collapse.
687
:After an important government
document was stolen.
688
:And this really terrible circumstance.
689
:The young man's gone through this caused
them to have a, what we call an air.
690
:What we used to call a nervous breakdown.
691
:And suddenly he says, what
a lovely thing I rose is.
692
:Our highest assurance.
693
:Of the goodness of Providence
seems to me to rest.
694
:And the flowers.
695
:All other things, our powers, our desires.
696
:Our food.
697
:Are all really necessary for our
existence in the first instance.
698
:But this rose is an extra.
699
:It smell and its color.
700
:Are an embellishment of life.
701
:No a condition of it.
702
:It is only goodness, which gives extras.
703
:And so I see again.
704
:That we have much to
hope from the flowers.
705
:And I think that fundamentally.
706
:For me explains why.
707
:My view of the universe.
708
:Although it is a place
with much suffering.
709
:Injustice inequality and pain.
710
:I believe that we as
humans have the power.
711
:To change.
712
:I know for a lot.
713
:And that is because there is this.
714
:Universal tendance of Providence
towards the good towards the extra.
715
:Perhaps that's why spring
is my favorite team of year.
716
:But anyway, that is my resilience.
717
:Core.
718
:It's the foundation.
719
:I think.
720
:And so that is my trips through a
different way to think about resilience.
721
:Particularly for people with ADHD
and I guess in a reflective mood.
722
:Y, I feel that resilience
is something that has got me
723
:through some challenging teams.
724
:Both from skills I have learned, but
also from my mindset and my belief.
725
:I would love to hear from you.
726
:Are you going to use the stop scan shift
with a stop message or the so DAS method?
727
:Next time you come up against a problem.
728
:Are you thinking about resilience
in a slightly different way?
729
:No.
730
:Is it still a toxic thing that
you feel is a way to push.
731
:Responsibility for big
problems onto the individual.
732
:I'd love to hear from you.
733
:So do you get in touch and let me know.
734
:Do you love roses?
735
:If you're a fan of Charlotte Combs.
736
:Let me know if you are.
737
:Somebody who's thinking
differently about resilience now.
738
:I look forward to being
with you again next week.
739
:ADHD coach Catherine.
740
:And let's see what is possible for you.
741
:This week.
742
:Until we meet again, take care.
