Shownotes
Listener note: This episode includes honest discussion of suicide, addiction, and trauma. Please listen with care. If you are struggling, please reach out to a qualified professional or a local support line.
You can change the diet, routine, supplements, and schedule, yet the body holds the same patterns. This episode is for anyone who has done the external work and still wonders why their body will not settle.
Fenix Shepard shares how healing begins when the nervous system finally feels safe. You will learn why the body holds onto fear, and gentle ways to remind it that you are safe now.
About the Guest:
Fenix Shepard is a healing coach and author of the forthcoming book Loved Unconditionally. She helps people gently release stuck traumatic memories, and works alongside therapy rather than in place of it.
Key Takeaways:
- The body is not stubborn, it is afraid. What looks like willpower failure is often a nervous system that does not feel safe yet.
- Pair breathwork with a steady phrase like "I am safe" to calm the nervous system.
- Try journaling by hand: write the memory, read it aloud, then reread it until it loses its charge.
- Healing rarely happens alone. A trusted coach or therapist helps the inner work take root.
Connect With the Guest:
Website: fenixshepard.com (read a chapter, buy the book, or work with her).
Book: Loved Unconditionally
Episode Chapters:
[00:00] The Soil Beneath Everything: why inner peace comes before the protocol
[03:40] The Night by the Ocean: the prayer that changed her direction
[09:30] Hitting Rock Bottom: becoming a "yes person" to healing
[14:15] Why the Body Keeps the Score: fear, safety, and the nervous system
[19:00] "I Am Safe": breathwork and a gentle hand on the heart
[23:30] The Ten-Minute Version: meditation and the journaling practice
[27:30] You Cannot Heal Alone: finding support that holds the work
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Transcripts
00:00:07 Shreya: You can change the diet. You can change the routine. You can change the supplements, the schedule, the practice, the protocol. And until you change the inner climate underneath all of it, the body keeps holding the same patterns. Inner peace is not a soft optional layer over the practical work. It is the soil. Without it, nothing else takes root for long. And tonight is about that soil, that patience, that often invisible work of softening the inner climate. So the body finally has the place safe enough to heal.
00:00:43 Shreya: So welcome to Inner Peace, Better Health. I'm your host, Shreya, and this is the show where we explore the quite unglamorous truth that physical health and inner peace are not two separate conversations. They are the same conversation. Walk through different doors. We sit with real people doing real inner work, and we look honestly at how the body responds when the inside finally softens. And today my guest is Phoenix Shepherd. So Phoenix, thank you so much for being here. Uh, I think the kind of guest who is willing to talk about the inner climate behind the visible health is the kind of guest this show is built for. And I'm so grateful to have you here.
00:01:25 Fenix Shepard: Oh bless you. Sherry. I'm so grateful to be here and to and and to be here for your audience as well. Hi, guys.
00:01:33 Shreya: Thank you so much. This is truly a wonderful opportunity to have you. And just before we begin, a quick disclaimer for my listeners,
00:02:18 Shreya: Phoenix. Before we, uh, go in. Tell me, what is one small thing in your life right now that is quietly bringing you peace?
00:02:27 Fenix Shepard: Oh, absolutely. So every single day, I don't care what time of the day. It's it's a random day, sometimes early in the morning, sometimes in the midday, or sometimes a couple times a day. I actually go into my closet. So I have, you know, my closet where my clothes are at. I have a school, I have a, I have a pillow and I get on my knees and I start to pray and love on God and, and give God the glory every single day. Sometimes it's a couple times a day, sometimes it's once a day. But I don't stop praying. And that is the beauty of. Of what I do for myself to align myself with God's love, God's thoughts, God's, God's will for my life. And then I go be that.
00:03:08 Speaker 2: That's beautiful.
00:03:09 Shreya: And thank you for sharing this with our audience. And I want to start gently, because the right place to begin is your story. So can you take us back into the part of your life where the link between inner peace and physical health first became real to you, not as a theory but as a felt experience. What did you start noticing in your own body that you could never explain by the usual physical metrics? And what did you not yet understand about it at the time?
00:03:40 Fenix Shepard: Sure. So I'm going to take you back. And first and foremost, I always want to start with this. I, you know, it's my trauma first and foremost happened, uh, with living at home with my parents. But I want to say something right now. I have the most loving relationship with my parents, uh, today. So I always want to acknowledge that, um, I, well, for me, the very beginning, I had to survive trauma. I moved out at fourteen years old because I had attempted suicide twice that week and I failed. I almost died, but I failed. And because I failed, I moved, I left home because I was born gay. It wasn't a choice. It's not like, oh, I could just one day wake up and be like, oh, I want to like girls. No, it just it was it just is. And because of that, I left home and experienced a lot of drug addiction, mental illness, sexual assaults, uh, poverty, like you've never experienced, uh, shame, guilt, hate, loathing. So it wasn't until I was, I'm going to say twenty one. It was the first time that I had ever prayed, and I was out on an ocean. I was at the ocean. It was about, uh, going on twelve o'clock at night. I had gotten a fight with a girlfriend, and I and I decided to go take a walk to cool down. And the first time I sat on a bench overlooking the ocean at midnight. And I said, God, you know, if you're real, please help me. And that's all I said. And in an instant, I was in danger. Like there was a man getting ready to try to abduct me from his vehicle. And that's when God, the first time I ever heard God's voice, I did not know it was God's voice, but it was something. It wasn't mine. And it said, get up, you're in danger. And I ignored it for a second. And then I looked behind me, and I see this man getting ready to get out of his car. And he had you could tell his energy was really off. And the voice said, get up, you're in danger and run. And I was like, what? And so I started to follow this voice. And every single time since that day, there has been a voice that has always led me out of danger or warned me of something getting ready to happen. But as time went on, this voice started teaching me about love, about life, about forgiveness, about repentance. And it ended up being Jesus the whole time. To tell you the truth, it ended up being Christ. And I ended up having a relationship with Christ starting at twenty one. It wasn't perfect. It was very imperfect, but it was. It was like, I've never experienced anything else before. And that's what you you asked me like, where was that transformation? Where did it begin? It began that night, uh, saving my life from something that was getting ready to happen to me. I probably would not be alive today if if God did not intervene, but if I also didn't pray that prayer. So it's just something miraculous happened for me.
00:06:29 Shreya: Thank you for sharing your story with our audience. And, um, the first time you trusted the inner work, uh, enough to put it ahead of the external to fix what's shifted.
00:06:42 Fenix Shepard: So for a while, nothing could shift except the fact that I was still lost. And it didn't happen. The shift happened when I was thirty. So granted, I started hearing the voice of Christ at age twenty one, but it wasn't until my thirty year old birthday where I finally had hit my rock bottom. And in my rock bottom. I'm going to tell you if anyone, if any of you listening, you've hit your rock bottom. That is the best place to be because you can only go up from there. So once I finally had hit my rock bottom, being an alcoholic, being a drug addict, being suffering from mental illness, I God was like, hey, I love you, go. And he'll like, I made you perfect. And every door started to open and I started to become the yes person, the yes to healing, the yes to therapy, the yes person, to learning dialectical behavioral therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy. Because like you said earlier in your in your introduction, the body keeps the score, the body knows every traumatic incident that you have been through. So in order to heal yourself and build mastery, you have to be the yes person to always be willing and able to receive help from others. Because remind yourself of this one thing you cannot. You will never be able to heal alone. You have to have a spirituality, be help from others, professionals who know how to, who have been trained to teach you how to heal and then apply everything that they're learning. Apply it in your life and I promise you, your life will be transformed. Not overnight, but it will take some time and effort. But it will change, I promise you that.
00:08:19 Shreya: Yeah, I think there is something quietly so important in what you said, because so much of our health culture treats the inner climate as decorative and nice to have alongside the real, uh, food, exercise and medicine. And anyone who has actually walked the road knows it is the other way around. The inner climate is, uh, operating the system and the food and exercise and the protocol are the apps running on top of it? Ah, yes. And I want to slow down on that inner layer because most people who keep trying and failing to feel better physically are not really struggling with information. They know what to do. The struggle is underneath. There is an inner climate, a nervous system pattern, and emotional inheritance that quietly keeps undoing the visible work. So tell me about that inner layer. Like what is actually happening underneath that surface when someone keeps doing the right things and the body keeps refusing to settle. And what do most people do not understand about it?
00:09:22 Fenix Shepard: Yeah. So, you know, when I said that the body keeps the score, there's also like the nervous system aspect or, or your, your, your mind, your mind or your brain want to keep you safe. So they're like, no, no, this is danger, danger, danger, danger. If you heal, you're going to be in danger again. If you heal, you're going to be in danger. But you have to tell your mind and your body, okay, where is the danger right now? The only danger is you telling me I'm going to be in danger. And you need to acknowledge that, because if you're not in any physical harm anymore, things have passed. Like, let's say five years ago, something bad happened to you and I'm talking to the listeners. Let's say something bad happened to you five years ago, but you're still suffering from it. It's because your mind, your brain, and your body are trying to protect you from that happening because it caused you so much pain and it remembers. So you have to tell yourself, okay, right now, today, what is what is my life look like? AM I depressed? Sure. AM I in pain? Yes. Did what happened to me still makes me angry? Absolutely. Have I healed from it? The answer is no, because you're still feeling all these things. So what you want to do is actually embrace it, sit with it and say, okay, all right, this thing happened to me five years ago. I'm going to sit down, I'm going to close my eyes, and I'm going to start doing some breathwork. I'm going to breathe into my belly or breathe into the upper part of my brain, take deep breaths, hold it, and then release and say, I'm safe. You have to now start reminding yourself, your brain, your body, your mind, your heart, everything, your consciousness, your subconsciousness. I'm safe, I'm safe. I am perfect. Love casts out all fear. And then you want to put your hand on your heart and do it again. I'm safe. I'm here. I am perfect. Love casts out all fear. Then this is where I say to you. Find a therapist. Find a coach. I'm a, I'm a. I'm not a licensed counselor to listen to people's, you know, you know, all day problems. What I do differently than than therapists. And I love therapists. I've, I've used therapy the majority of my life. And that's what's kept me healed is that I help people heal traumatic memories that are stuck, that are keeping them stuck. So I go into your subconscious mind with you. We do gentle techniques. I distract your mind, and then I'm helping you desensitize those traumatic memories that kind of are keeping you stuck in the past, that five year incident. It is my job to go in there and to say, hey, you ready to remove this, desensitize it or erase it so it no longer affects you. And you have to say, yes, I'm willing, I'm ready. So, alright, let's do these techniques, let's use these tools and let's do it together. So we bring God into the mix. We do a prayer and then we do the techniques. And then I put you in a little bit of a trance. And while we're doing techniques and keep you in a trance, I'm helping you, showing you how to erase those memories, desensitize them so they no longer affect you. And best of all, my friend, you never have to tell me what is wrong. So if you're like Phoenix, I'm so ashamed of what I did. It hurts me. But I cannot tell you. I cannot even tell a therapist. I'm like, that's fine. You never have to tell me a single thing. All you have to do is be willing to let it go and erase it. And we're going to do that together as a team. And that's what we do. Yeah.
00:13:10 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
00:13:11 Shreya: I think that part is the part that most conversations we passed. And I'm really glad that we did not, uh, the, the realization that the body is not stubborn, it is afraid, changes everything. I think so much of what gets labeled as discipline, failure or willpower failure is actually a nervous system that has not been giving enough safety to let go yet. Right. Yeah. And let us bring this into daily life because the listeners tuning in, uh, are not in retreat. They are in really, uh, so what is the inner peace work actually look like inside a noisy day? Not the version with two, three hours and a meditation cushion, the version with ten distracted minutes and a stressed body. What is the small real practice look like for you?
00:14:01 Fenix Shepard: Okay. Small. We start small. I, I've, I've been doing this for years, but we're going to start small again. It would be so the medical system. Before I answer that, I want to say three. I want to say one thing. The medical system back in the day, in my in my childhood years, they looked at three things to start helping you heal the mind, the body, and the spirit. Today, all medical systems, including the Western. Here in the Western state. They love to just give you a pill, but remind yourself our food already has chemicals. So not only are they affecting your nervous system and your brain and your mind through poison, now they're also adding more poison of medication because they're now ignoring the spiritual aspect of healing. So my hope is for everybody listening, find God. Find God. First off, let God into your life with who is perfect. Love casts out all fear. That's God number one. Number two, go and do at least five to ten minutes a day of meditation if you need, like a guided meditation. Go on YouTube and look for a guided, loving meditation, guided loving meditation and let it just just breathe and be still. That's number one. That's going to help to desensitize already your nervous system. It's going to calm it down. Then journal. So I want you to write your story. If the pain I want you to in detail, write your trauma. Okay. Write it. So in don't type it. I want you to use your pen or your pencil on paper, because now you're telling your brain, hey, I'm writing what had happened to me. So now your brain and your body are like, oh, okay, he wants to she's pulling it up. She's pulling it up or he's pulling it up. He's pulling that, that trauma up. So then you're going to read it to yourself. After you're done writing it, you're going to cry it out, cry it out, cry it out. That's okay. That's healing. Now read it out loud to yourself alone. Read it out loud. Okay. You're going to read the whole story out loud. Then when you're done reading it, guess what? You're going to read it again. And then after you're done reading it that time, I want you to keep reading it until you're bored with it where you're like, man, I've read this enough. Well, pick it up the next day and read it again out loud by yourself. And then the the last thing I want you to do is now read it in a Mickey Mouse voice. Yep. So read your trauma and I'm going to make a I'm going to be funny. I'm going to do a funny right now. So everything that happened to me on the when I was a little child. Oh my God. So I want you to be dramatic with your voice. Make it sound silly. The reason why you're doing this is again, now you're desensitizing that trauma. You're actually healing yourself by making it sound funny because your brain cannot comprehend, oh my God, this is this. This isn't traumatic. It's not traumatic. I'm telling myself in this Mickey Mouse voice that it's it means nothing and automatically boom, boom, you're going to heal. You're going to heal. I promise you, I promise you that if you do that, you're going to heal and you're going to let it go. And your brain and your mind and your body are going to be like, oh, that was nothing. We're good. Move forward. You're healed. You're actually now healing your life.
00:17:36 Shreya: Yeah, I, I genuinely love this Mickey Mouse Mickey Mouse voice because it sounds so promising. Like I, I can really believe that after a implementing this, I will really heal. And I, I love that you brought it back to something so simple and humble because the truth is, are the people who actually sustain this kind of inner work are not the ones with elaborate routines. They are the ones who learn to ask their body a question several times a day.
00:18:04 Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:18:06 Shreya: And I think that is really beautiful. And I want to get into a post, like if someone listening tonight is at the beginning of recognizing that the inner climate is the missing piece in their health story, what is the inner orientation you would offer them? Not the protocol, not the meditation app, the way of holding themselves through the unlearning, the internal posture that in your experience gives this kind of work the best chance to taking root.
00:18:35 Fenix Shepard: Right. So the best chance, if you're looking for the best chance, hire someone like me. I teach all of these techniques in my book, which is called Loved Unconditionally. It's actually being released on June fourth. So in a couple of weeks it's going to be released. Um, and I would say hire either a therapist or a different kind of coach or myself. And you go on to Phoenix dot com. Let me spell it out. F e n I x s h e p a r d dot com. Uh, you'll be able to read a chapter of my book. You'll be also be able to buy it there. Or if you want to hire me, you'll be able to hire me there through my website. Because you can't do this alone. You're going to need someone to kind of walk beside you, uh, to hold your hand, even if it's on Zoom. That's why all of my, uh, I, I deal with all my clients on Zoom because I can help anyone all over the world as long as you have, uh, internet and you have some form of zoom, uh, we're going to get together either Google meets or Zoom. I don't care which one. And I'm going to teach you somebody a counselor would teach you, uh, a, um, practitioner will teach you, a coach will teach you or myself. We can all teach you how to heal and how to apply specific tools that are going to work very quickly in your life, and you're going to watch your life transform fast. You don't have to do this alone, but because you won't be able to do it alone because you won't know what to do. So read my book. I would say read my book. You get to hear the story. You get to read this traumatic story, and then you get to see the transformation. And then you get to see the tools that I've used throughout my whole life that I applied to heal my life and to stay at the top. I mean, I, I live, let me share something with a testimony. I live there's a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is a state that comes and goes joy. If you have joy, it is everlasting. It. My cup overflows every single morning with joy. I don't have any sadness. I'm not depressed. Other moments where I cry. Sure, sure. I mean, crying is healthy. That's good. That's okay. That means something happened and I just gotta work through it. And I do. And sometimes I cry and that's okay. Um, but anything you're going to have constant joy and peace when you have those because you've hired someone like me or someone that you trust, man, your life is going to change. It is undeniable. It's it. The only way is up. The only way is up. But you just can't do it alone. So my suggestion is hire someone.
00:21:16 Speaker 4: And there is something.
00:21:17 Shreya: Quietly so powerful in that orientation. Like it is not about doing the inner work, right. It is about being honest enough with yourself to feel what is actually happening inside the body instead of overriding it. And I think once you anchor in that honesty, the whole practice changes it. It stops being a project and it starts being a relationship with your nervous system, with your real needs. And thank you for sharing this. Thank you for this wonderful, wonderful conversation. I think, uh, you, you have shared so much practical information with us that so much needed right now for everyone listening, I'm so thankful to you for joining. And if after this beautiful conversation, my listeners want to connect with you or want to learn more about you or about your work, then what's the best way?
00:22:08 Fenix Shepard: Uh, once again, my website, phoenix dot com. I know the, the name is weird. It's not Phoenix, it's Phoenix. I'm going to spell it again, F e n I x s h e p a r d dot com. Uh, you can definitely get a hold of me there. Uh, everything has been set up so people can start connecting with me. And this is what, uh, this is what I want to help you guys with. I want to help you heal. Uh, it's time. It's time I see the world is broken. I see the world in pain. And I want to contribute to helping to heal the world. And that's. That's why I'm here. Sharia. And that's why you have me on your podcast. And I say, God bless you. And thank you, my friend.
00:22:46 Shreya: Thank you so much. Uh, it's really means a lot. And I will really, uh, make sure to attach all these details and links below in the show notes so that the listeners can find them easily and get in touch with you. And thank you again, Phoenix. This is such an honest and bridging conversation. And to all my listeners, especially the ones who have been trying every external fix and watching their body refuse to settle. I want to leave you with this. Your body is not broken. Your body is asking for safety and the wants to learn how to give it that safety. Slowly, patiently, in small, daily ways that nobody else will see. And we will see you in the next episode. Till then, do not forget to hit the follow button. Subscribe and feel free to share your thoughts because your ears deserve premium content. Thank you.
