This is the second half of my interview with Makeda Joi, an escort based out of Atlanta, GA. Last time, we talked about compassion, toxic masculinity, and privilege. The last half of our discussion is dedicated to all things joy and resilience, something we could all use more of right now. <3

Makeda Joi's Links:

• Website: MakedaJoi.com
• Twitter: @makedajoi

Things We Talk About:

• Sex Matters: From sex to superconsciousness by Osho (book)
• The original translation of the Kama Sutra by Vatsyayana (book)
• River by Leon Bridges (song)

Podcast Links:

• Patreon: patreon.com/SexyGalaxyPod
• Website: parkerwestwood.com/podcast/
• Twitter: @SexyGalaxyPod
• ANSWER-Detroit: answerdetroit.org

Music. Welcome to A Sex Workers Guide to the Galaxy where the answer to life, the universe, and everything is sex workers. I'm your host, Parker Westwood. I'm coming at you today with the other half of the interview with Makeda Joi, and I believe I left it as a cliffhanger, where we were about to talk about joy. And so this is the last half of the conversation where we go in hard about joy and resilience and and we we get deep, but we have fun, and I am really excited for you all to hear it. And, yeah, I think we could all use a little more joy and a little help cultivating resilience right now. Um, yeah, I think talking about joy right now is appropriate, considering the state of the world. And I just want to send out a whole lot of love to all of you listening right now, because it's just a scary world right now, and and I love y'all, so I hope that-- I hope you're doing well, and I'm really glad you're here. So thank you for being you and for being here and for doing what you do. But before we jump in, we're gonna do a little of the general podcasty things. If y'all listen to podcasts, I'm sure you're so used to this. This podcast is brought to you by all the lovely Patreon supporters. If you would like to become a supporter of this podcast, you can go to patreon.com/sexyGalaxypod and check it out. There's a lot of different levels. I recently added a $1 level so you can support this podcast for $1 a month. Every little bit helps. 50% of the proceeds on Patreon go towards sex worker exclusive art events via ANSWER Detroit (A Network of Sex Workers to Excite Revolution). So that's really freaking cool. You get to support the expression and ability to tell our own stories of sex workers, specifically in Detroit. So do that. But if you can't do that, no big deal. I'm still glad you're here, glad you're listening. If you have a bit of time and gumption, you could leave a glowing review on whatever platform you listen to this podcast on. It really does help. And I do read them all, and they make me so happy. So yeah, shout out to everyone who's left a review, much love. You can also follow the show on Twitter @sexyGalaxypod. You can follow me on Instagram at Parker.Westwood. And I think, I think that's all the things that I need to talk about regarding the podcast, at least for now. Stay tuned. But with all of that being said, I think, I think we should talk about joy. So let's get into it. Because in this world, there's a lot of things that are cause grief and anger and sorrow, and we have to have the fucking other side of the coin.

We got to flip it.

Yeah.

It's time to flip it, Honey.

So your last name is Joi.

Yeah. So tell us a little bit about how you came up with your name and then launch into joy for you. Okay, yeah, I want to hear it. Okay. So for anybody listening, like I'm actively smiling. Big ass cheeks like just as joy. So I'm really corny in that matter, but I really... my dad before he passed away, like, was a huge proponent for just like joy, happiness, like, not toxic happiness, where you just always avoid shit, but just like glass is half full, like keep going, very motivational. Always make new stories was one of his mantras. You know, always find the new reason to explore and have adventure and have something to look forward to and a reason --and something to tell you want to be able to share something that you did. So always make these stories. So Makeda, so I have this, like, long standing folkloric crush on like queen Sheba. And for anybody who, like ever grew up or had to read a Bible at some point, there's a book called Song of Solomon, which is a book of erotic poetry. Mhmm. And, oh yeah, they not gunna preach a sermon about that, girl. They're gonna tell you to keep your legs shut. But right there in the middle, honey, the king is talking about how the woman's breasts are like bonds in a field. And, oh, yes , girl!

yes! I definitely skipped this part when I read the bible. **laughter**

no, no, no, you need to get that, because you might convert. You might come back, if you just if it could be that part. And then the part where Jesus was flipping the tables like, I like that Jesus. And I like poetry. The rest of that, you know, we can, you know, it's got some good things. But the point is, apparently the book is said to be written by King Solomon, by the queen Sheba, who is said to have come from. Think it's like the land of Kush. This is like folklore. This isn't specifically in that book, Song of Solomon, but like the land in Africa where, like, people had dark skin. So, like, very dark skin, so like mine, and so that might be like present day Sudan Eritrea, Kenya, like these areas, like, further north of the Nile? And apparently they said that she traveled to see King Solomon, and, you know, she brought, you know, camels, and they were heavy with gold, and she just walked in and, like, she was the baddest bitch, and she was smart, she was fine, and she was rich. She was like, hey boo. And he was like, oh shit. So there's so many cultures that have written about her, so she shows up in the Bible, the Torah, the Quran. There's like art made about her in like medieval Europe, like Christianity starts spreading there. There's just a lot of lore about her in this intense beauty and wealth that has spanned the test of time. And so she goes by a lot of different names. There's Sheba, there is, I think, of course, there's Makeda, and then what's the one in Islam? Is it Nilnec?, No did you watch the show American Gods? Yes,.

I haven't yet. That is on my list. I've heard it;s really good.

I cannot believe-- it is the craziest, most wonderfulest shit, because I also love, like, lore about, like, cultural dieties.

Same, The mythology in it is So fun.

Girl. and so, oh, shout out to mythology. So I can't remember her name in Islam but, and I can't believe I'm forgetting. But anyways, like she's just been brought into this culture and respected throughout time and and just for this like regality in Ethiopia. Oh yeah, they're saying she may be from Ethiopian Sudan. So I forgot about Ethiopia. Shout out to Ethiopia, but Ethiopians believe that she is like the distant ancestor of like she was the beginning of like the Ethiopian Empire, and she ended up like as the ancestor of, I think it was Hali Selassie who ended up with like the king or the emperor of Ethiopia, and they defeated the Italians. So, like, they were never conquered. They were, like, the only country that was ever colonized in Africa. All these things. The point is, I'm trying to, like, I don't know if anybody listening can tell I'm a freaking nerd, and I just read stuff, but I'm also very awkward. It all mixes together, and it might be hard to follow. Please just laugh along with me and love me and I just accept me for who I am. Point being Yes. Makeda is a bad bitch from the ancient world, and she is dark and she is opulent and she is respected and she is sensual and she is unforgotten.

Yes.

Boom, hey, I'm in the room. That's me. So, so that's where the maker came from, and joy was just like, who am I presenting myself and in the world as a provider? But like, no matter where I may walk, what do I want to come with? What am I able to leave behind? So like, even with my clients, like we're gonna laugh and we're gonna be a little silly and there might be some smack talking, because that always makes me laugh. Yes. And I feel like clients don't always expect. Especially if they're coming in for, like, this very sultry or sexy, you know, experience. And I mean, you're gonna get that too, because balance. But you know, like I feel like it can also help to break up-- There's a lot of ways to experience pleasure, I guess, is what I'm saying. So yes, the physical part, yes, the romantic part, yes, the talking, but let's be silly too. Like, are we going to jump on the bed? Are we smack talking? Like, so that's who I like to be in the world. But I'm especially, like, really conscious of that when taking a lover.

Yes, I completely agree. Like, intellectual play is such a important piece for me, and a lot of time that is, like, talkin shit to each other, because I love that, or, like, good intellectual discourse.

So, like, my first, like, even just like intellectual like, I have a thing for being taught. I don't know if I have, like, a professor fetish. I don't know. Just gonna put that out there. That's relateable. Teach me something. I want it. I want an A plus. What do I have? But my first client was Portuguese, and so he talked to me about, like, the history of like the relationship between Portugal and Japan. And I'm like, what?! so like, of course, like, layin there post-, you know, petite mort, but just having the best conversation. And like, I don't know whenever I would when else I would get to have that, or who else he would even be able to share that with, like, who in his life might be willing to talk about something that's a part of his experience and learning your culture, and I really appreciate that about this work, is that, you know, I know you understand this, but there's This very unique like, safe space where you get to talk, or clients get to tell stories that they probably haven't gotten to tell in a long time. They got to get to share memories that probably most people in their circle either already know or they've you know, were there when they were made. And I guess in ways, it kind of remembers. It may it reminds me of like, you know, make new stories, but you make new stories because you want to be able to tell them, and if you can't tell them, like, you know, you might forget it like you don't get to experience that pleasure of that same memory again. So I really love being able to, you know, draw that joy out in different ways.

Yeah.

And so, yeah, that always makes things really, really sweet. And then I'm edified because I've learned something new. It's, you know, kind of done something for my professor, kink, and we all go home happier.

I love that. I mean that that rings so much truth for me, too. Where it's like I I talk about the power of stories a lot. I mean, the reason I started this podcast is I think that we-- when we tell our own stories, there's power in that, not only for us, but those hearing it. And I love the idea of, like, creating new stories while also making space to, like, hold old stories for well, like ones that we don't get to tell anymore. Because there have, I can definitely resonate with that. There's a lot of clients who have told me things that I'm just like, oh, like, I can't think of a single person in your life you could probably tell that to.

Yeah, it's a privilege, that part is a privilege to like, to be trusted and to be able to create a sense of safety. And I think that like clients come because it's the whole package. And not every client wants to talk. That's fine, but I think the ones that we all really appreciate are the ones where, like, there's a level of depth, Yeah. Where you can have that container of, like, this is just a private space and just us and like, you know, and I know, and that's it, and it's safe here, like, You're safe here and and then like the client can breathe, we can all appreciate it, and there's this kindness and joy, and then that's what you're left with, not the traffic you had to deal with to get to each other. You know, we don't have to think about trying to make sure our makeup was -- None of the backstage stuff lingers. It's just like what happens in that sweet spot on stage where, like, Joy was cultivated, and then joy is remembered. And for me, I believe that I am in the business of that. How do I cultivate and hold joy and make it lingerand make it reputable? That's, that's how I look at this. And I have such a, I have such a, what is it I want to say, like, compassion for, like, the male experience, which I know a lot of people are like "whatever fuck that. Fuck men." And I, you know, I, what I think is that, and I learned this with my ex, is like back in the day. If we were all in a tribe, if a man could not hunt, then the tribe would still bring meat for his family. But now, because we all are so separated, if you're in a, you know, heteronormative home, and said man cannot go out and hunt. Then even though, like culture has told this story and continues to perpetuate this story on so many men.

Yeah.

You know, there is no support anymore. Yep, one of my favorite writers, the artist, formerly known as Karine Steffens, aka Elizabeth Austin says that, like, toxic masculinity fucks with men too. Yes. Like it damages them too. So whenever I have a client and in the world in whatever way, like he has to perform, he has to have his mask. He's not allowed to make a mistake. He's not allowed to fail, and if I'm able to, for a moment, create the space of like safety and joy and ease, because that's what I want to live by. I don't want to do I don't want to be doing emails all damn day and being in meetings all damn day. So I try to find and cultivate joy for myself. I love to share that with people. You want a cup of sugar, you want some coffee. I'm still a southern woman. You know what I'm saying, You got kids, I'ma play with your kids. You got a dog, I'm a play with your dog. So I have this when I came into that understanding with my ex of like, oh, this is what a lot of men experience when I got to see, like, internalized like, toxic masculinity impacts men too. Like, oh shit. Okay, so there's a need for more joy here. How can I support this in a joyful space? So, yeah, Yep.

yeah, yeah. And I think it's important, I mean recognizing that toxic masculinity is toxic for everyone involved, like

Everybody.

Non binary folks, everybody. And I think also in this work, it's-- what I enjoy about that angle, is that we're being compensated for the emotional labor to hold space for men to fall apart, whereas, like often,

MMMMMM

often, that is a space where women are just expected to hold that and not and it's not recognized as labor. And so part of what we're paid for is discretion, like we are a neutral party. We aren't going to interfere with your life. And then also, like we're paid to hold that space kindly,

yeah, paid to hold space for men to fall apart. Also, again, for the listeners, because I'm Southern, so many years in my life in church, I will interject, and I might. I don't mean interrupt you for the one I go, Mmmmm Oooohh Child!

It's all good. Imean, I spent nine years in Detroit, so I get, I'm here for it. Yep.

Okay! Thank you! You Understand the things. So when you say something, you say, oh, that's juicy as fuck. And I say, Oh, you better! yeah, say that girl, say that

I'm here for it.

yeah? So one of my one of my favorite clients, I feel like I'm gonna say all of my clients, my favorite clients, but he--

That's a good problem to have.

I'll take it. I'll take it. He, like, is a rapper and has like, tattoos all over, like, all over his face. No worry. There's a lot of rappers with tattoos all over the face and will not identify him, but if you're listening, but all, like, really, what he wanted to do was, like, stare into my eyes and kiss and some other things too. You know, we did the things, but like, that is what lingered. Yeah, he just wanted. Be like, right in his face and like, a kiss,

Yeah.

And I was like, nobody would look at this person walking through the world. And I was, oh, oh, I loved him so much for that. I was like, Oh, you're gonna get all these kisses

Yes. And that's when I say men to for men to fall apart. That's what I mean. Is like that front like they don't necessarily like cry and sob and like fall apart, but like their facade, like, yes, they have to put on every day to participate in the masquerade of masculinity, right? Yes, the masquerade a masc--. Girl, you are such-- Parker and the word play. I like words.

I like words. That could be a shirt.

**laughter** I like words. I would have it in every color but it I 100% 1,000% like, agree with that experience that, and I love the reframing of fall apart, because you still have the experience like masculinity wraps around a person, toxic masculinity. It's like, I'm not falling apart, yeah, I'm just, you know, but really, like a lot of the clients who see us, do just want to have a soft space to land for a while. And they, you know, may call that in between guys, and that's soft too, but that's like an extension, I think, of what a lot of clients are looking for. Yeah, I think that it is. It's the softness. It is a place to undress, literally and figuratively. Yes. And it is noble work. I love it. I cannot get enough of it. I yeah, I will not start singing the songs and praises, of course, in me. But golly, I feel really honored to be able to do this. Yeah, same. And I think like when I think of how many years I was locked inside and unwilling to-- unable to participate.

And I think what changed for me right as I was journeying into becoming this, this extension of myself, is that I realized that if I was intimate with a stranger, and not just not just like when you go out and you meet somebody at a bar, and you hook up, and then that's it. Like, not you'll talk about but like you meet a stranger, and then I realized, if I could show up and immediately decide that I'm going to love this person. Never seen them before, may never see them again, but we've got this time together with just us in a room. Can I love them? Can I show up? Can I like it doesn't matter what race I am or color, it doesn't matter my gender, doesn't matter my socio economic background, doesn't matter what degree I have. It's just two strangers showing up and deciding that they're willing to care. And I think that it is the sexiest, most courageous, most selfless act of like self love and like love for humankind and etc, etc. I think it's beautiful, because there's so many things, especially being a woman, a southern woman, a southern black woman, a southern black Christian woman, of Do not be one of those girls. Keep yourself closed off. They're not safe. They're going to think of you this way. They want to take they, they they talking about men and talking about society. So I was definitely built up with walls. And the walls are called safety, and there's layers and levels, especially generationally, but then to show up and like, be able to do this work is going to exercise and saying, like, Oh, those walls actually didn't make me any more empowered. Letting go of all of these things is actually like a really sweet space. It's a very warm honey kind of space. And some like, yeah, I this is the sauce. Again, privilege, because not everybody like takes and is able to see the work in that way, right?

Yep. Yeah.

So that's my privilege, even in that so the gratitude for that, the connection with clients in that way, I I'm so thankful. It's the juiciest thing. I love that experience, and I do it over and over and over. Again. Yeah, and as you were talking, I was thinking too about, in order, like, in order for us to be able to hold that space and and continue to do that like, for these strangers, as you say, like, it takes, it does take some energy to, like, extend in that way to make someone else feel comfortable enough to also extend back so, and we're talking about joy, I think it's important to recognize that like, there's a certain amount of like self care and cultivating resilience that we need to do in order to be able to do this work long term, to do this work at all in an effective way, because we have to be okay in an in ourselves, in order to hold a container for someone else. Absolutely. Yeah, so I was curious, since we're talking about joy and cultivate and resilience. Like, what do you do for you to like, build resilience and cultivate joy for yourself? That was a really good layup You did.

I feel so seen by you.

Girl. With a magnifying glass, girl. I love. I stan. God Damn. So if I'm willing to cultivate joy for anybody, I better then master it for myself.

Mm hmm,

or get pretty close. So I love to sing. I've got really good acoustics in my apartment, and I will listen to music all day long. So singing brings me so much joy. I've been singing since I was literally probably like four or five.

I love that.

So, you know, I know you love that. Why do you love that, Parker?

I also love singing a lot. Um, voice is very important to me. Um, yeah,

27:18

the voice.

Voice, yeah. I mean, that's part of stories, right? It's just like using our own voice to to express our own story with the words we choose to to tell it. So, yeah, I feel you in that. It's, it's so powerful,

yeah, man, singing was like my first joy, my first art. I love to write. Yeah, so you know, we talk about words. I love words.

I love words.

I Love words. I love to write. I love to dance. I definitely-- so I when I would like, club, I would be the person dancing, and people like, man, you had a lot to drink. And I'm like, I'm sober. Like, out there, shameless and loose dancing with strangers. It does not matter. I will throw it around in Atlanta. I have fun and around in Mozambique, I will throw it around and everybody better catch it or stand back. Love to dance and like to dance growing up, like did a little bit of ballet and tap and jazz was in the band in college, and so like music and movement and word, like they all like live in this form that I have What else?. Then, okay, joy, my selfish, guiltiest pleasure in the world, in bath time.

Yes, tell us about the bath time. I love it. Well, first of all, I will. I want to say for the listeners that when we got on, before I started recording Makeda, was just like I just took a bath. I am, I'm cleansed. I am. I have anointed myself.

I did anoint myself. I did. Okay, okay, so I don't know when this started. I don't know like, I don't know when this became, like, my addiction, but I do remember, and I think I mentioned this to you, there's a book called Pussy. Yes. and the author, I think her name, is Regina Thomas Hower. And I read this book years ago, but it's kind of like a collection of short stories of like you. Her, like Feminine Wiles and things that she does and that she's developed just to be like, ultra feminine. And one of them is that she got rid of her shower curtain and would only take baths. Being that, like saving it doesn't have to be like this rushed ritual, like, Oh, I've got to get out of the house in like five minutes. You knew you had to leave at three. Like, why did you wait until 250 to take the shower? So like,

You coming for me right now?

No no! Never . I'm coming for the culture that's what I'm coming for.

That's for real, though.

And so she was like, No, she's only going to do that because it is at least it's however long that she guarantees herself that she has no other obligations and she can make it as luxurious as she wants. So as a few years ago, I read that book several years ago, and then I learned about, like, the concept of people taking, like, herbal baths and spiritual baths, yes, and like, for a whole nother, like intended thing. And I was like, That's sexy. And then, of course, everyone knows, like, if their muscles are sore, you take a bath with epsom salt. So, like, there's just this relationship with bathes. So anyways, this was winter 2021 that I was just like, I'm still locked in. I was in a COVID Fellow at the time, and I was like, I got nothing but time on my hands. So I would take the most opulent baths that I could create. Girl...

I love that so much. Girl, I would get like, fresh mint or fresh basil for the grocery store and, like, put that in the warm water. Um, of course, like coconut Epsom salt, or maybe bath bombs, goat milk. I love to put goat milk in the bath. This one particular day, I was rather excited, and I did put champagne in the bath because, like, I was like, I'm the celebration. Like, what? I'm a pop bottle for me. Yes!, that was outstanding. I had like, some white roses one day, and so I put, like all those petals in the water. And then, of course, I've got, like, candles all over and like Palo Santo and like meditative music. And so, as a matter of fact, at the time, I would do two baths. And so, like, my first bath would be, like, goat milk and Epsom salt and like, coconut and stuff, and then I would drain that and throw another one, and, oh, I put honey in the bath. Yes! Girl! Like, so yes, for anybody listening, like, damn, she got a lot of fun on her hands, not all the time, and I don't do that all the time, but I do believe in making pleasure intentional. Yes, if somebody can book with a export, an escort for 90 minutes, then can you book? Is there? Can you book 10 minutes for yourself? Can you book 20 minutes for yourself? What can you do? And so this was my ritual of being opulent and intentional, where no one else had to look. Yeah, it was just me. I remember around that time I, like, bought my first, like, Agent Provocateur lingerie, and I would take my bath, put on my lingerie, and go to sleep, and it was just me. Oh, that's so good.

Girl, that was, that was the place that I was in. So now my bath have definitely dialed it back. I haven't put champagne in my bath in a long time, but I'm not opposed. But I just love it so much. I did not put milk in my bath today, and I would kind of like, mmmm. . I thought about it, but, um, yeah, so what I am thinking about doing is offering it to other people, maybe about offering it to clients, I don't know. I think that's another level of intimacy as well. Yeah, and I don't know, I think it's also really unexpected. So I'd have to, like, test that out, because, like, I definitely didn't go from shower to champagne bath. But I think again, like, how else can I share joy to the point where it becomes opulent Joy where it's like, you know, it's excessive. How can joy be a luxury?

Yeah. Yeah,

and I don't, I found a way to do that for myself, and it's unmatched. And I could you, have you ever taken a honey and champagne bath?

I have not. But you make you're making me think about it.

Parker!

I've I'm gonna do it.

Go get you a cheap bottle of Andre champagne if you want. You don't have to do the you don't have to do a fancy one. It could be if you want to drink that's fine, but you can just get a cheap one, put some honey in there if you want to get, like, some flowers from the front of the grocery store. Girl, am I? Am I a mixed drink right now? Just Do it?

Oh my God. As a former bartender, I love the idea of a mixed drink bath time like

you could get wild and crazy.

I am a mojito. Thank you.

YAY!! Mojito Monday. I stan. I stan.

There's there. I love this so much. Okay, so there's three things coming up for me. One is not everything that is like wonderful for you needs to be something you monetize, just throwing that out there for your brain to check out Yes, say that shit two: being there's this thing called the nap ministry, yes, and it's like a whole thing about, like, rest as resistance. So like, this idea of taking time to, like, luxuriate in a bath, like that is also an act of resistance against the capitalist machine that says that we just need to keep working. And like, it's not all about productivity, right? Mm Hmm. And then another piece, oh, what was it It was there, right there, um, it was right there. I had it, I hate when that happens? Okay, Bath, baths are my shit... Oh, I got it back. Um, you had said something a while ago about celebration, um, and like dumping the champagne in in the bath, and that you are the celebration. And I also wanted to touch on this idea of celebration as a revolutionary act, like there's so much, there's so much in in American culture, specifically, where we whitewash culture, to remove celebrate, like, celebrations of different cultures, to remove celebration of self and so, like, I mean, I think pride is a perfect example of, like, of bringing back celebration, of self, of culture, of so I love that you're just like, I am the celebration. Like, I don't need an excuse for this. Like, I'm gonna put champagne in my bath. Yeah, celebrate myself. One of my favorite words is selfish, Yes.

And I remember, like, of course, even saying that, like it's distal for a lot of people. And I remember listening to a podcast about The Oprah Winfrey Show and talking about, like they were talking about episode from the 80s and 90s, and how Oprah has, like, you know, for everybody that was a mom to write, you know, the order of priorities, like, who are the most important people in their lives, I think. And the guest that was on that day, she was like, Okay, where are you on this list. And of course, typically, everyone was last, and she said you should be first, and she was booed. She's a guest. The woman was booed. She says, How are you supposed to be all of these things, but you haven't taken care of yourself? You know? They would put I'm a wife on my mom and my children, husband, God, you know, PTA, whatever, but idea that you were supposed to be last when you wake up and you were actually the most powerful person in your world, and most people don't associate themselves, as powerful. Yeah? So selfish to me, is like reclaiming a word of I must look out for myself. Yes, I must take care of myself. I must prioritize myself. It's critical as a matter of fact,

Yeah, there's-- I was doing this. Of all places, this was such a strange place for this to come up, but this phrase has sparked. With me. I was in a sign language interpreter training program for a while, and there was a whole section where we learned about like self care of our bodies, of our minds, of our hands to make sure that we-- Well, The phrase that was said was, You cannot serve from an empty vessel. And it's like you just, you have to take care of yourself. You have to put your own oxygen mask on first.

It's true, yeah, even before your children, in that case, in the plane, You must. And so it's,-- again, it is revolutionary to be the priority in your life.

Absolutely.

it is revolutionary to rest.

Yeah, it's your story, right? Like, yeah,

yeah, yeah. Absolutely, and, and so all of those things I've taken them on so that I can be joyful. I can be joyful because, actually, I've rested really well. And I took a bath today, and I covered my body in jojoba and coconut oil, and I rested well, and then I listened to Leon to Leon bridges river about five times That is one of my favorite songs to just belt out!

41:20

Really! You're kidding!!! You shut your mouth!

Ahhhh! It's so good! No, like, I Okay. First of all, I didn't learn about this on until, like, two weeks ago. Ugh! I didn't know. I didn't know. So then I spent because I was in Houston for work, and so like, like, for a good week at least seven days before I met trip, I listened to that song on repeat. So just like analyzing the words and like singing it and it, it's, it's, it is sensual, while also being very prayerful, yeah, and oooh It's juicy girl!

it is, it is so juicy. It is so good. And the guitar part, all of it is, like, there's so there's like, passion and love and and it's delicate, but it's powerful. Oh, I love it so much. Oh, my God, okay, I have, I have one more question, and then we're gonna rapid fire, also gonna say Tank, Thank you for bringing this fantastic human into my life.

Thank you, Tank. I love you.

Okay, so what is something that you want the greater public to understand about sex workers, or sex work as a whole?

Why do I want to cry? I want to cry. Um, whether, whether the provider knows it or not, whether the client knows it or not, sex work is a spiritual act.

Mmm. Mm Hmm.

I have long said that when we like as humans, have sex, it's the only way that we're able to create life. So we get to play God together, and so therefore the pussy is a temple, so you need to show up and be ready to pray. Yes, yeah. You know what I'm sayin?. And you better say Amen. You better say Amen. And so, because this work is ancient. It's a part of human history, right? It's lingering. There's folklore, there's, you know, these sex workers do history that we celebrate and because clients show up time and time and again, millennia after millennia, they show up to receive healing and pleasure. People go to temples for the same reason. They show up for some level of rapture or exaltation or a good time. People go to church because the music is good.

Right.

So, you know, it doesn't have to be, you know, it doesn't have to be deep and ritualistic and, you know, esoteric. But wherever I believe, I believe that wherever there is pleasure to be sought out and pleasure to be found, that if we enjoy that pleasure and we leave and we are made better than when we arrived. And that is a spiritual act. So for me, the joy and the lingerie and the dinner and the what makes our eyes roll back into our heads like that is all for me, like still a spiritual act. So for anybody listening like, yeah, for some of us, like, we're spiritual artists and we're sensitive about our shit, Mm. Yes, spiritual artists, I love that. Also, when you said, You better say, Amen, I was just, what came up for me was Outkasts, A Love Below, there's a track where, ah, lady, Yeah! Yess! What song? No, I forget that is. That is a track where Andre is praying, he's like, she ain't even got to have a big old ass.Yeah? Just love something,

yeah, Prelude. It's a prelude to

sophisafunk aristocats **Laughter** God damn it, Parker,

we're here for it.

All day.

Okay, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do rapid fire questions, okay, um, you ready? I'm nervous. Okay, I don't these are the yeah, don't be nervous. Okay, pancakes or waffles.

Oh, I'm gonna go with waffles because you got to work to get the butter in the middle, and then you feel really proud. I'm gonna go with waffles.

Vanilla or chocolate,

vanilla, but make it like actual vanilla bean.

Thank you. Yes, Gold or silver? Gold all day. Have you ever seen gold come out of a tomb and it's 5000 years old and it's still pretty? it's no but I imagine that's like,

Okay, okay, well, I've never been there, but, like, just think about, like, Pharaoh's an ancient tomb. Like, you've never saw someone pull out silver and you're like, Oh, that was a king. No, you bury people with gold so that, like everybody knows what's up. Gold all day long.

Gold favorite place you've ever been.

Oh, damn! oh, this is hard. You know what? I'm gonna just say on an airplane, because I've been to some beautiful places. I can't pick a city, so I'm just thinking about, no, I'm not gonna say that, because it's trying to be too deep. Where is my favorite? You so weird, though, Golly! okay, so, um, gosh, this is hard because I've been to, like, a few countries and, like, seen amazing things. Um, I am going to pick Guatemala Samook Champe, which is like a collection of, like, rivers and pools from the mountains and the interior of the country, yeah, and you can only get there, like, like riding through the jungle and so, yeah, I was like, on the back of a some kind of Jeep or something riding through the jungles of Guatemala to get to and from Samook Champe. So,

oh, that sounds amazing.

Yeah, man, I'll go with that one.

That's a good one, a book from your mandatory reading list. Oh, shit, God! Cuz I'm a nerd! Okay, so this is really hard because I can think of, can I give two? Sure, yeah, okay, one of them is by Osho, and it's called Sex matters, from sex to super consciousness. So I won't give a synopsis, but that's one, and then the other one is the original translation of the Kama Sutra. Because, you know, we think Kama Sutra is a is a picture book of positions, but actually, the Kama Sutra is a manual ancient text on the ways of relating, first with self and then with others. And there is a section specifically on and for courtesans.

Oh, very cool. That is very cool. like, it's like the Bible. It's like our Bible.

Oh, I'm gonna have to check that out, a song, an album or a musical artist that you're totally obsessed with.

Okay, song I've been repeating, River by Leon Bridges. So we'll, we'll go there.

Yeah, perfect. Um, what is your hidden talent?

I'm a jeweler.

Yeah,

Hence gold. I'm a strange jeweler and a goldSmith, and I can tell a lot of gemstones. It's like, with the naked eye. And I can't grade diamonds, but I am, like, have a real eye for them, like cut and like inclusions and stuff for that. So I get really, really turned on by jewelry because I love, like, I have a lot of books on jewelry and like, jewelry, history, cultural jewelry, and have definitely melted gold and made things and like, oh God, love the art form of jewelry,

it is fantastic. Um, finish this sentence, Good sex is...

Hoo hoo! Good sex is period. It just exist. hoo hoo, girl!

Well, you did finish that?

That sounds like that girl my body is having, like a reactionary, like a response, like it's initiating a lubrication sequence, I'm telling you good sex is memorable. Like my temperature is actively going up right now. I think because I'm a Scorpio, like I'm thinking about good sex and like my love is sweating. I'm sorry to all the listeners, I think I have a problem. Yeah, man, I've got a condition, so don't judge me.

I love that. If you had one superpower, what would it be? Aww, samn. Okay? Have you seen Encanto? I haven't yet. I mean, some people

who have, people who have seen it will know, like, I wish that I could, like, hear conversations that were very, very far away, that yeah, man, you just Yeah, yeah, I would, I would, yeah. I would be, like, the CIA but better,

yeah. Super ultimate eaves-dropping sort of situation. Super ultimate like, I could, like, like, zoning and, like, what the mayor talking about right now, okay, mayor's order Uber Eats. I'll check out somebody else. But like, yeah, I just yeah, if anybody's seen Encanto, you know I'm talking about, but yes, I would have amazing hearing. That's such a good one. Um, what is something simple that brings you joy.

Oh, you don't want to know what brought me joy this morning, the very first thing, what I opened my eyes and I saw, like the headboard of my bed, and it's yellow, and it made me smile. And I was like, this is a really good color for the morning. Literally, that was today. That's fantastic, Yeah, like the sun hits this, and it's the perfect yellow. And that was, that was how I started my day today.

I love that so much.

I feel like I'm easy to please. This is, like, sex, babies, sunlight, smiles,

yes, music, it's but the thing is, when you have simple joys and simple pleasures, like everything, it's just It's better. It's like you gotta have the easy access points to joy,

because everything, because everything else, can get real crunchy real quick. So we gotta be able to slip back into things that are simple and saucy and good. And so if the color yellow in the morning is what did it, I'm gonna take it. I love it. That is the end of our rapid fire questions. Do not go away from me. Parker. Like, I want to come over right now and make a sandwich and, like, play with your cat. Okay? Well, that sounds really sexy me. I want to come over and play with your feline. I'm not suggesting we have sex on this podcast. Oh, my God. I also have the mind of a 13 year old. Sometimes It's important. It's again, simple joys, it's fun. I Well, let's say goodbye to the listeners. I won't leave you. We'll just stop recording. And then, okay, yeah, okay, we'll going. Thank you so much for having me on your show. Yes, thank you for being here. This has been so much fun. That's the point. We're supposed to have fun, and then it's contagious.

Yes, listeners, go forth and have fun.

Go forth and prosper. Go forth and giggle. If you have not masturbated today, you should do it.

Second.

or make time in your day to do it. And I hope everyone has a really good meal and a nap.

Yes, bye, everybody,

Bye.

And there you have it, folks, a fantastic interview with a fantastic human Makeda Joi. Um, yeah, all Makeda links are going to be in the show notes. All the links to things we talked about are going to be in the show notes. I try to, I try to make sure that you have access to the things we refer to, answers, links, podcast links, all the things in the show notes. Check them out. They're pretty sweet. Yeah. I really hope that y'all go forth in your day and find something that brings you joy, aside from this podcast, of course, but find something that brings you joy, even if it's just small. You know, um, there are times where I just buy some raspberries from the grocery store, and that's like, my joyful thing. Sometimes it's to get getting my hands in the dirt, because I love getting my hands in the dirt. It feels I don't even, yeah, it's joyful. It is a joyful act for me. So whatever joy is for you. I hope you find some today and every day. Really cultivate that resilience. Y'all. We need it. It's time for a space fact, I've been curious about black holes lately, and I found out recently, we're just gonna, there's gonna be a few different facts here, that there are three different kinds of black holes. There's primordial black holes, which are little. I mean, they can be itty bitty, like tiny atom sized, or about the size of a mountain. So I guess it depends on how you want to describe little. There are stellar black holes. Stellar. These are the most common black holes, and they can be about 20 times more massive than the sun, or they can be about as big as the sun. There's a whole bunch of these in the Milky Way. There's a whole bunch of these all over the place. And then there's super massive black holes, which I feel like is self explanatory, but they're the largest of the black holes, and can be, like, 1 million times more massive than the Sun. So that's all very interesting, and really puts things into context as far as like, how tiny we are, if small is as big as a mountain, yep. And then there's this cool thing that happens. So black holes are only dangerous the closer you get to them, like when you get real, real, real close, close enough to get sucked in. So let's say this is an interesting thing around time, so that someone falls into a black hole and someone is witnessing this, like you push someone in, whoever you want to really I'm just gonna let your imagination have fun with that. Say you push someone into a black hole and you're just watching this occur. The person you pushed into this black hole, their concept of time slows down relative to you, watching the it's it's a it's a thing that happens, and it's explained by Einstein's theory of general relativity, which talks about how when you're going at extreme speeds, your concept of time slows down. Basically, it's, it's exactly what it what it what I just said, your concept of time is affected by not even the concept like time. Your time is affected by the speeds, the extreme speed you're going at extreme speed being like the speed of light. So that's cool. Black holes are crazy. And, yeah, if you push someone in, they'll stay young forever. So it's an idea. All right, everybody enjoy enjoy that fact. I hope that helps you in your daily life. And I. Um Nanu, Nanu motherfuckers.

I so during the interview, I couldn't put it in but Makeda joy and I sang this song together, and us singing it together didn't really work audio wise. So, Makeda Joi, This is for you.

Been traveling these wide roads for so long, my heart's been far from you, 10,000 miles gone and oh, I want to come near and give you Every part of me, but there's blood on my hands, and my lips are unclean. Take me to your river. I wanna go, oh, take me to your river. I want to know i.