This week Garrett and Yury discuss a bank error in someone's favor (it's like real life monopoly), the best and worst burger joints in town and a new type of cocaine for all the vegans out there. Stick around to the end where you will learn how to tell the world's best knock knock joke!
Call the FAN-DUMB line (888) FAN-DUMB and connect with us on all the social media platforms @ThisWeekIsDumb
It's time for the
Voice Over:this week is dumb podcast.
Voice Over:A chance for you to
Voice Over:disconnect from reality
Voice Over:for a bit and hear about
Voice Over:some of the dumb things
Voice Over:that we found this week.
Voice Over:Now, here are your
Voice Over:hosts, Garrett and Yury
Garrett:Hi everybody.
Garrett:Welcome into
Garrett:episode number 18.
Garrett:God, I think it's
Garrett:episode number 18.
Garrett:I'll have to double check that
Garrett:maybe it's not episode 18.
Garrett:So I dunno.
Garrett:I think it's
Garrett:episode number 18,
Yury:Also known as
Yury:season two episode two,
Garrett:Season
Garrett:two episode two.
Garrett:Yeah, absolutely.
Garrett:It's coming
Garrett:. Yury: The return
Garrett:of the Jedi's.
Garrett:I don't know.
Garrett:Did you become
Garrett:a Jedi overnight?
Yury:I don't even
Yury:know what a Jedi is.
Yury:I'm not a star wars fan.
Garrett:Oh my God, dude.
Yury:Have you ever
Yury:eaten at Five Guys?
Garrett:Oh God,
Garrett:I love Five Guys.
Garrett:Haven't been there
Garrett:in a while though.
Yury:Okay.
Yury:First of all, we can't
Yury:be friends because their
Yury:food is disgusting.
Garrett:Their
Garrett:fries are delicious.
Yury:It's been years since
Yury:I've gone to Five Guys and
Yury:we went to lunch and we
Yury:couldn't decide where to go.
Yury:And it was one of those
Yury:things where he went to like
Yury:a strip mall and there's
Yury:like three different places.
Yury:There's like a Chipotle,
Yury:Five Guys, and then
Yury:some other place.
Yury:So I said, you know, I haven't
Yury:been Five Guys in a while.
Yury:Uh, I'm gonna try Five Guys.
Garrett:Okay.
Yury:Go up to the counter
Yury:order, just a plain
Yury:cheeseburger, plain, just
Yury:a regular cheeseburger.
Yury:We're not talking
Yury:like, well, hold on.
Yury:We're not talking like
Yury:bacon or like adding onion
Yury:rings or whatever, fancy
Yury:things that they have.
Yury:Burgers, uh, just a
Yury:plain cheeseburger.
Garrett:Okay.
Yury:An order of
Yury:fries and a drink.
Garrett:Were they Cajun
Garrett:fries or regular fries?
Yury:Regular fries.
Yury:I wasn't even aware that
Yury:they had cajun option.
Garrett:Oh, they're delicious
Yury:So burger, excuse
Yury:me, cheeseburger, regular
Yury:fries, soft drink.
Yury:Which in any normal
Yury:establishment would
Yury:be considered some
Yury:type of a combo meal.
Garrett:Okay.
Garrett:That's fair.
Yury:Five Guys does
Yury:not do combo meals.
Garrett:Yep.
Yury:Unless I'm just in,
Yury:unless I'm an idiot and I
Yury:just didn't see the numbers.
Garrett:You're not an idiot.
Garrett:You have to buy
Garrett:everything separate.
Garrett:That's the way they do it.
Yury:Cheeseburger fries
Yury:drink I'm at the counter.
Yury:There's people behind me.
Yury:The guy gives me the total.
Yury:It's like $19.74 or something.
Yury:And I thought I misheard
Yury:him and I said, I'm
Yury:sorry, what was it?
Yury:He said, "$19.74".
Yury:I already had my
Yury:credit card in my hand.
Yury:And at that point you're
Yury:kind of committed, like
Yury:Yeah, you're committed.
Yury:You're not going to like
Yury:back out of it at that point.
Yury:And I remember
Yury:I swipe my card.
Yury:I'm like kind of dazed
Yury:like somebody punched
Yury:me in the head and.
Yury:I remember he asked
Yury:me, he said, do you
Yury:want your receipt?
Yury:I said, oh fucking 100%.
Yury:I want my receipt,
Yury:cause clearly an
Yury:error has been made.
Yury:So he hands me the receipt
Yury:and I'm reviewing it like
Yury:the FBI reviews documents.
Yury:Uh, I'm looking at the
Yury:paperwork and by paperwork,
Yury:I just mean receipt
Garrett:The
Garrett:receipt, yeah got it.
Yury:And uh, I
Yury:found an error.
Yury:Do you know what
Yury:the error was?
Yury:I chose to eat at
Yury:Five Guys that day.
Garrett:I was going
Garrett:to say, Hey, you chose
Garrett:to eat there at all.
Garrett:So yeah.
Yury:$19 for burger
Yury:fries and a drink.
Garrett:So was
Garrett:it at least good?
Yury:No, it was terrible.
Yury:It was terrible.
Yury:It was disgusting.
Garrett:Couple of
Garrett:problems with the way
Garrett:you ordered your food.
Garrett:First of all, you ordered
Garrett:a plain cheeseburger.
Garrett:That's what my
Garrett:nine-year-old son orders.
Garrett:And you know that and
Garrett:my 18 year old daughter
Garrett:they order the same food.
Garrett:They just give me a meat
Garrett:and cheese and button.
Garrett:Like, that's all they want.
Garrett:Well, you can
Garrett:make that at home.
Garrett:Dude.
Garrett:Why would you even
Garrett:bother to order that?
Garrett:If you go to a place like Five
Garrett:Guys or In and Out, you kind
Garrett:of get all the crap on there.
Garrett:Dude, like Five Guys has
Garrett:that list of like 4,000
Garrett:things you can put on by the
Garrett:way at no additional cost.
Garrett:And then it makes it
Garrett:worth paying $7 for a
Garrett:burger cause you get.
Yury:No, no, there was no
Yury:burger on the menu for $7.
Yury:They started at $10 started
Yury:and the fries were $6.
Yury:And the drink was like $15.
Yury:I don't remember how much
Yury:exactly the drink was.
Garrett:What Five
Garrett:Guys were you at?
Garrett:Were you at like
Garrett:Disneyland or something?
Yury:I don't know.
Yury:It was an expensive
Yury:experience at best.
Garrett:Uh, but it was
Garrett:an experience though.
Garrett:Wasn't it?
Yury:I mean, I suppose
Yury:for two $19 for a
Yury:goddamn cheeseburger,
Garrett:You don't like
Garrett:Five Guys, next you're
Garrett:going to tell me you
Garrett:don't likeIn and Out?
Yury:Well, first of all,
Yury:who doesn't like In and Out?
Garrett:Okay.
Garrett:Thank you.
Yury:And also I recently
Yury:had lunch at In and Out.
Yury:Burger fries drink $7.
Garrett:Totally, 100%.
Garrett:There's literally an
Garrett:In and Out around the
Garrett:corner from my house.
Garrett:And it's one of the cheapest
Garrett:places that I can go and
Garrett:it's got such good food.
Garrett:The problem is when
Garrett:I go there, I don't
Garrett:just eat the burger.
Garrett:I can get like a
Garrett:three by three.
Garrett:Protein style.
Garrett:So it's lettuce wrapped, but
Garrett:then I get it animal style.
Garrett:So it's got all the
Garrett:grilled onions and
Garrett:all the sauces on it.
Garrett:And lots of pickles.
Garrett:Dude, I'm so hungry, my
Garrett:mouth is watering right now.
Garrett:I'm going to have to pause
Garrett:the podcast for a minute
Garrett:and get some In and Out!
Yury:First of all, everything
Yury:you just explained, it's like
Yury:ordering a salad, but putting
Yury:nine pounds of cheese and like
Yury:ranch on it, Do you order, a
Yury:small diet Coke with that too?
Garrett:I don't understand
Garrett:what the problem is.
Garrett:That's exactly what it is.
Garrett:And it's not a small, it's
Garrett:not a small Diet Coke.
Garrett:It's the large Diet Coke.
Yury:If you're going to
Yury:go that far, why are we
Yury:getting it, protein style?
Yury:Why are we not just
Yury:eating the bread?
Yury:Is the bread.
Yury:What pushes it over?
Garrett:That is exactly
Garrett:what pushes over my, my
Garrett:carb limit for the day, man,
Garrett:all the rest of that stuff.
Garrett:I'm good.
Garrett:But man, you put
Garrett:that bread on there.
Garrett:No dude, if you've never tried
Garrett:it protein style, don't knock
Garrett:it because I'm going to tell
Garrett:you right now, I don't even
Garrett:feel like I'm missing the.
Garrett:The only time I missed
Garrett:the bun is if I'm drunk.
Yury:I would never even
Yury:think about removing the
Yury:bun from the equation.
Garrett:You know, it's been,
Garrett:uh, uh, well, it's been what,
Garrett:two weeks, I think since
Garrett:we've, since we chatted, since
Garrett:we had an episode come out
Yury:Two weeks.
Garrett:And it's been a long
Garrett:two weeks, like, have you
Garrett:noticed it's been a long two
Garrett:weeks or maybe it's just me.
Garrett:I just feel like the
Garrett:world's kind of gone to
Garrett:shit in the last two weeks.
Garrett:I was, uh, I was reading
Garrett:through the Interwebs and I,
Garrett:I stumbled upon an article
Garrett:from Kansas city, Missouri.
Garrett:If you have, a massive
Garrett:sinkhole that opened up in
Garrett:front of your house, right.
Garrett:Just, you know, the
Garrett:street opens up.
Garrett:It sucks the life out
Garrett:of everything around
Garrett:it, cars falling in it.
Garrett:Just a big sinkhole.
Garrett:Yeah.
Garrett:What would you do
Garrett:to get that fixed?
Yury:Go to home Depot.
Garrett:This guy reached out
Garrett:to the city and said, Hey,
Garrett:sinkhole in front of my house.
Garrett:Get your ass out here.
Garrett:And the city said,
Garrett:yeah, we'll get to it.
Garrett:Well, he got tired of waiting,
Garrett:so he decides, you know
Garrett:what, I'm just going to throw
Garrett:a party in the sinkhole.
Garrett:So he fills the sinkhole
Garrett:with water and puts a bunch
Garrett:of pool chairs around it.
Garrett:And everybody's coming,
Garrett:sits down and has a pool
Garrett:party in the sinkhole.
Yury:Just take a bunch
Yury:of pictures and tag
Yury:the city on Instagram
Garrett:That's
Garrett:exactly what he did.
Garrett:And guess what the city did.
Yury:They cited him
Yury:for a loud music.
Garrett:Did you
Garrett:read this article?
Yury:Yeah, I have
Yury:it in front of me.
Garrett:That's
Garrett:exactly what happened.
Garrett:That's hysterical.
Garrett:No, I'm just kidding.
Garrett:That's not what happened.
Garrett:They fixed it.
Garrett:All right.
Garrett:I got one more.
Garrett:I've got one more.
Garrett:I got one more.
Garrett:And then you could go into
Garrett:whatever you're going to say.
Garrett:I don't even know how
Garrett:to position this one.
Garrett:Cocaine,
Yury:the epic opener
Yury:for any conversation.
Garrett:Okay.
Garrett:Right.
Garrett:It's it's drugs.
Garrett:Drugs are bad.
Garrett:Drugs are bad.
Garrett:This is an article I
Garrett:found talking about,
Garrett:and this is the tagline
Garrett:for the article, right?
Garrett:The rise of woke Coke,
Garrett:drug dealers, targeting
Garrett:middle-class users with
Garrett:ethically sourced cocaine
Garrett:for 200 pounds, a gram
Garrett:to suit their vegan
Garrett:and organic lifestyle.
Yury:Well, I mean, if you're
Yury:going to be a cokehead,
Yury:you want to keep the
Yury:environment in mind, right?
Garrett:Do you think
Garrett:that's really, what's going
Garrett:through people's minds
Garrett:as they're doing coke?
Yury:Is there a way to
Yury:ethically source cocaine?
Garrett:Uh, according to
Yury:theirs, isn't
Yury:cocaine by default.
Garrett:I don't know.
Garrett:I don't even know what's
Garrett:in cocaine, to be honest.
Yury:Okay.
Yury:For any vegan coke heads out
Yury:there, if you can call them
Yury:this message, call the fan
Yury:dumb the line and let us know
Garrett:888 - F A N D U M B
Garrett:let us know what that means.
Yury:By the way.
Yury:We're not promoting
Yury:the use of cocaine.
Garrett:Oh God.
Garrett:No.
Yury:Unless it's
Yury:vegan cocaine.
Garrett:It has to be woke.
Yury:It has to be woke coke.
Yury:What a great
Yury:marketing strategy.
Garrett:Exactly.
Garrett:All right, I'm done.
Yury:Don't do cocaine.
Yury:Don't do drugs
Garrett:Drugs are bad
Garrett:kids drugs are bad!
Yury:All right.
Yury:Well, it's another week for
Yury:fill in the dumb, my favorite
Yury:portion of the podcast,
Yury:because who doesn't like
Yury:useless headline trivia?
Garrett:Or making me feel
Garrett:like a complete loser.
Garrett:Cause I never can
Garrett:get an answer right?
Yury:Nah, that's just
Yury:cherry on the top.
Yury:Uh, Garrett, as you know, I
Yury:shouldn't have to explain it
Yury:to you, but you never know.
Yury:We might have new listeners
Yury:jumping in on the, uh,
Yury:this week is dumb train.
Yury:Later on.
Garrett:We don't have
Garrett:new listeners, Yury.
Garrett:You can just stop right there.
Yury:Once again.
Yury:Hi mom.
Yury:I'm going to read you
Yury:actual news headlines.
Yury:I pulled these from the news.
Yury:I'm going to read
Yury:the news headlines.
Yury:I'll leave one word blank.
Yury:I'll give you three
Yury:possible answers.
Yury:One is correct two
Yury:are incorrect using
Yury:process of elimination.
Yury:You can figure out
Yury:which one makes sense.
Garrett:Can I though?
Yury:All right, for your
Yury:first question, a Louisiana
Yury:couple was shocked after
Yury:the bank mistakenly blank
Yury:and your possible answers
Yury:are foreclosed on their
Yury:house, deposited $50
Yury:billion into their account.
Garrett:I'm sorry.
Garrett:Was that 50 billion
Garrett:or 50 million?
Yury:50 billion
Yury:billion with a B right.
Yury:Or opened up a credit account
Yury:in their dog's name again,
Yury:Louisiana, couple shocked
Yury:after the bank mistakenly
Yury:foreclosed on their house,
Yury:accidentally deposited $50
Yury:billion into their account,
Yury:or opened up a credit card
Yury:account in their dogs name.
Yury:Starting with you, Garrett,
Yury:since you're the only one.
Garrett:All right.
Garrett:For our one listener that
Garrett:we still have after all this
Garrett:time, it was really funny to
Garrett:watch Yury give these, uh,
Garrett:possible answers because you
Garrett:know, it's going to be good
Garrett:when he's laughing before he
Garrett:even says the possible answer.
Garrett:Uh, so I'm gonna rule out
Garrett:deposited 50 billion in
Garrett:their account right away,
Garrett:cause it's Louisiana,
Garrett:nobody has $50 billion.
Garrett:Do they?
Garrett:I don't think they do.
Garrett:Foreclosed on their house.
Garrett:That that could be it,
Garrett:but I don't know that that
Garrett:would make for a really
Garrett:good story for our podcast
Garrett:or opening a credit account
Garrett:in their dog's name.
Garrett:See, that sounds a
Garrett:little bit more like
Garrett:something I would expect
Garrett:to come out of Louisiana.
Garrett:So I think the bank mistakenly
Garrett:opened a credit account
Garrett:in their dog's name, and
Garrett:then they got the bill
Garrett:and there was a bunch of
Garrett:charges from chewy.com.
Yury:Well in Louisiana a
Yury:husband and wife were left
Yury:stunned this month after
Yury:they discovered $50 billion
Yury:had been accidentally
Yury:deposited into their account.
Garrett:No way!
Yury:$50 billion.
Yury:He said he came though, the
Yury:husband says he came home,
Yury:a wife showed him the, uh,
Yury:deposit statement and he was
Yury:basically like, what the fuck?
Yury:Where did that come from?
Yury:Uh, this was Chase bank
Yury:and I guess Chase did
Yury:finally correct the
Yury:error four days later.
Garrett:Okay.
Garrett:I'm sorry.
Garrett:But if Chase mistakenly
Garrett:deposits $50 billion
Garrett:into my account.
Garrett:I'm going to go
Garrett:withdrawal that money.
Garrett:Like I'm going to go into the
Garrett:branch and be like, hi, I'm
Garrett:here to close out my accounts.
Garrett:Yes.
Garrett:I need cash now, please.
Yury:Yeah, it says in
Yury:Chase's official statement.
Yury:We had a technical
Yury:glitch over the week.
Garrett:That is not
Garrett:a glitch, not a glitch
Garrett:that is a Royal fuck up.
Garrett:And somebody's getting
Garrett:fired over that one.
Yury:Does Chase even
Yury:have $50 billion.
Yury:How much money could that
Yury:one bank possibly have?
Garrett:What is money anyway?
Garrett:I mean, like when you put
Garrett:money in, oh, this is going
Garrett:to get super philosophical.
Garrett:When you put money in the
Garrett:bank, does it actually stay in
Garrett:the bank or does it go to some
Garrett:reserve vault somewhere and
Garrett:they have money in quotes, but
Garrett:it's not really, I don't know,
Garrett:dude, it's a rabbit hole.
Garrett:I can totally get lost this.
Garrett:And by the way, I really
Garrett:wish it had been the
Garrett:dog because chewy.com
Garrett:has some amazing stuff.
Garrett:And I buy all my dogs
Garrett:supplies through there.
Garrett:So chewy.com please
Garrett:sponsor the podcast.
Yury:Okay.
Yury:I didn't even realize a
Yury:glitch like this was possible.
Yury:Um, but I do plan on going
Yury:and opening up several
Yury:accounts at chase, uh,
Yury:just to play the odds
Garrett:I'm in!
Garrett:Oh, I'm in dude, let's go.
Garrett:I'll put like a dollar in each
Garrett:account and just sit there and
Garrett:watch it and see if it grows.
Yury:Just wait for it man
Yury:Okay, in Dubai.
Yury:What happened in Dubai?
Yury:Something happened in Dubai.
Garrett:Oh my God.
Garrett:You're so prepared
Garrett:for tonight.
Yury:Uh, in Dubai, I've
Yury:been to Dubai actually.
Garrett:Have you really?
Yury:Yeah.
Yury:Gorgeous city.
Yury:Stupid, super expensive.
Yury:Yeah.
Yury:Very hot, very hot.
Yury:Uh, but actually the headline
Yury:it's so hot in Dubai that the
Yury:government is creating blank
Yury:and your possible answers are
Yury:outdoor air conditioned
Yury:neighborhoods, laws keeping
Yury:you from going outside
Yury:or artificial rainstorms.
Garrett:All right.
Garrett:So Dubai really hot, you know?
Garrett:Okay.
Garrett:So the government is
Garrett:creating either outdoor air
Garrett:conditioned neighborhoods.
Garrett:Okay.
Garrett:That's cool.
Garrett:Like, if you can
Garrett:create an outdoor air
Garrett:conditioned neighborhood.
Garrett:Yeah.
Garrett:That's kind of cool.
Garrett:I mean, that would be
Garrett:amazing, but it was
Garrett:not even intentional.
Yury:I mean, if anybody
Yury:has the money to do it,
Yury:it's a Dubai because
Yury:they bank with Chase.
Garrett:Right.
Garrett:But the problem with an
Garrett:outdoor air conditioned
Garrett:neighborhood is all the
Garrett:dads are going to be running
Garrett:around constantly resetting
Garrett:the thermostat because you're
Garrett:letting all the fucking
Garrett:cold air out of the house.
Yury:Wouldn't it be, you're
Yury:letting all the cold air in?
Yury:It's outside.
Yury:It's good, I'm glad you're
Yury:coming with me on this one.
Garrett:Yes.
Garrett:And uh, okay, anyway, uh,
Garrett:laws keeping you from going
Garrett:outside that one sounds a
Garrett:little bit too realistic
Garrett:or artificial rain storms.
Garrett:You know what dude?
Garrett:I think I got it.
Garrett:No, I think it's the
Garrett:artificial rainstorms, because
Garrett:who doesn't like a nice,
Garrett:refreshing drenching of water
Garrett:when it's 170 degrees outside.
Garrett:So I'm going to lock in
Garrett:with artificial rainstorms.
Garrett:And I think I'm finally right.
Yury:I'm actually
Yury:proud of you.
Yury:It is artificial rainstorms.
Yury:Yes.
Yury:But let me explain to
Yury:you what they're doing.
Yury:They're sending drones
Yury:into the sky and they are
Yury:zapping the atmosphere with
Yury:electrical waves, which is.
Yury:Creating rain storms.
Garrett:Tell me
Garrett:you're kidding.
Garrett:Right?
Yury:No, I'm not kidding.
Yury:It's 100%.
Yury:It says, uh, uh, scientists in
Yury:the UAE United Arab Emirates
Yury:is making it rain artificially
Yury:using electrical charges
Yury:from drones to manipulate the
Yury:weather and force rainfall
Yury:across the desert nation.
Yury:A meteorology,
Yury:meteorology meaty.
Yury:meterological
Garrett:Say that
Garrett:three times fast.
Yury:Couldn't even
Yury:say at one time slow,
Garrett:oh my God.
Yury:Those people release
Yury:video footage this week
Yury:showing a downpour and the
Yury:new method of cloud seeding
Yury:is what they're calling.
Yury:It shows, promise, and
Yury:helping to mitigate
Yury:drought conditions.
Garrett:Wow.
Garrett:That's awesome that
Garrett:they can do that.
Yury:I would love to
Yury:buy a DJI drone that just
Yury:shoots electrical waves.
Yury:That'd be really fun.
Garrett:So, um, I'm
Garrett:a little bit confused.
Garrett:So are the clouds already
Garrett:there and they're just
Garrett:zapping them or are
Garrett:they creating clouds?
Garrett:And then zapping?
Yury:It says, according to
Yury:research from the university
Yury:of Redding in the UK or
Yury:Reading UK scientists created
Yury:the storms using drones, which
Yury:hit clouds with electricity,
Yury:creating large raindrops,
Yury:a larger rain drops are
Yury:essential in the hot country,
Yury:blah, blah, blah, obviously,
Garrett:uh, I, you
Garrett:know what the best
Garrett:part about that story?
Yury:You just
Yury:got another point?
Garrett:I got a point
Garrett:that is exactly right.
Yury:I'm proud of you, man.
Yury:I'm proud of you.
Yury:For your third and
Yury:final question.
Yury:Emergency crews accidentally
Yury:rescued a blank, basically,
Yury:assuming it was someone
Yury:who drowned emergency crews
Yury:accidentally rescued a
Yury:statue, sex doll, or a wig.
Garrett:Oh, I can't,
Garrett:I just can't do it.
Garrett:Um,
Yury:Oh, you can,
Yury:and you should.
Garrett:There's a lot of
Garrett:pressure on this one, man.
Garrett:If I actually get this
Garrett:question right, I'm going
Garrett:to have two out of the three
Garrett:points, which I think we
Garrett:would qualify as a win for me.
Garrett:Right?
Yury:I mean, sure.
Garrett:Okay.
Garrett:So emergency crews
Garrett:accidentally rescued a blank.
Garrett:So based on the three
Garrett:guesses, you've heard,
Garrett:the three answers possible
Garrett:answers you gave me, I'm
Garrett:going to guess that they
Garrett:were rescuing somebody from
Garrett:like a house, like a fire
Garrett:in a house or something.
Garrett:They were rescuing someone.
Garrett:So a statue again, does
Garrett:that really make anything
Garrett:interesting for the podcast?
Garrett:Probably not.
Garrett:A sex doll, now we're getting
Garrett:into interesting terriorty,
Garrett:although that's a little
Garrett:bit dark, even for us.
Garrett:I think.
Garrett:Or a Wig.
Garrett:So I think I'm going to
Garrett:go with wig on this one
Garrett:because there is nothing
Garrett:like a good wig getting
Garrett:rescued from a fire.
Yury:So you're
Yury:going with wig?
Garrett:I'm going with wig.
Yury:All right.
Yury:Well, a team of
Yury:emergency rescue divers
Garrett:Wait you didn't
Garrett:say they were rescue divers.
Garrett:Hold on.
Garrett:Now that changes everything.
Yury:Okay, go ahead.
Yury:Do you want to
Yury:change your answer?
Garrett:It doesn't
Garrett:really change anything.
Garrett:I don't know.
Garrett:Go ahead.
Yury:Yeah, basically a team
Yury:of emergency rescue divers
Yury:what does flummoxed
Yury:F L U M M O X E D.
Yury:That's a word.
Yury:That's not a word.
Yury:Flummoxed
Garrett:Bewildered
Garrett:or perplexed.
Yury:Oh, man.
Yury:Look at them using English.
Yury:All right.
Yury:Well, at team of emergency
Yury:rescue divers were
Yury:bewildered or perplexed
Yury:after responding to the
Yury:scene of a nude drowning
Yury:woman only to discover that
Yury:it was actually a floating
Yury:life sized sex doll.
Garrett:Oh my God.
Garrett:Damn it.
Yury:They issued an SOS.
Yury:Save our Sex Doll.
Yury:Uh, boy.
Yury:Oh, wait a minute.
Yury:That's just embarrassing
Yury:for everybody.
Garrett:Why is
Garrett:it embarrassing?
Garrett:I mean, they thought
Garrett:they were saving a
Garrett:person who was drowning.
Garrett:I mean, good for them for,
Yury:Dude, have you seen
Yury:the videos where people
Yury:like marry sex dolls and,
Garrett:oh my God.
Garrett:It's like a thing right now.
Yury:That's right, yeah.
Yury:It's a thing
Garrett:It's not a thing for
Garrett:me, thank you very much, but
Garrett:Hey, you know what, whatever,
Garrett:whatever makes you happy.
Yury:It's, it's, it's
Yury:unclear how the blow up
Yury:doll ended up in the water.
Garrett:Are they
Garrett:going to run DNA?
Garrett:Cause there's probably
Garrett:DNA all over them.
Garrett:Yeah, I got a point.
Garrett:Does that mean
Garrett:I win this week?
Yury:I'm going to say,
Yury:because we didn't have
Yury:a guest host and you
Yury:did get one, right?
Yury:I will declare you the winner
Yury:for this week episode 18
Yury:season two, episode two.
Yury:I'm trying to make that
Yury:as confusing as possible.
Yury:The game's over my
Yury:friend, you won!
Yury:I have a, a dummy of the week.
Garrett:You do?
Garrett:Well, let's do your
Garrett:dummy of the week.
Voice Over:It's time for
Voice Over:the dummy of the week.
Voice Over:Who will it be?
Voice Over:Let's find out.
Yury:Well, Garrett,
Yury:this week's dummy of the
Yury:week comes to you out
Yury:of Southern California.
Garrett:Ooh,
Garrett:that's where we are.
Yury:It is from a
Yury:company called Five
Yury:Guys for charging $19.
Garrett:Hold on, hold on.
Garrett:The dummy of the week isn't
Garrett:Five Guys for charging $19.
Garrett:The dummy of the week is
Garrett:you for going to Five Guys
Yury:Dummy of the week
Yury:is me for paying $19.
Garrett:Oh, tell
Garrett:me you're serious.
Garrett:And that's really what
Garrett:you're using for the
Garrett:dummy of the week.
Yury:Dummy of the week
Yury:is me for paying $19 for
Yury:a cheeseburger, fries and
Yury:a god damn drink for fuck's
Yury:sake, put a mask on and
Yury:point a gun at me, cause
Yury:that's what it felt like.
Garrett:Will you be going to
Garrett:Five Guys again anytime soon?
Yury:No.
Garrett:And by the way,
Garrett:Five Guys, if you'd like to
Garrett:sponsor our podcast, please
Garrett:feel free to reach out to us.
Yury:You know, they
Yury:originally called
Yury:themselves one guy, but
Yury:they couldn't afford it.
Yury:They had to get four
Yury:of their friends.
Garrett:Oh, my God dude.
Garrett:So the dummy of the week
Garrett:in our last episode was
Garrett:us together because we
Garrett:hadn't put out an episode.
Garrett:Dummy of the week,
Garrett:this week is you?
Garrett:Because you ate at Five Guys?
Yury:It's been
Yury:a bad month, man.
Yury:It's been a bad month.
Garrett:Hey man.
Garrett:Here's hoping things get
Garrett:better for you in August.
Garrett:That's all I'll say.
Yury:Knocks on wood.
Garrett:Socks on wood?
Yury:Knock.
Garrett:Oh, you doing
Garrett:a little foley there?
Yury:I didn't want
Yury:to say knock, knock.
Garrett:Who's there?
Yury:Interrupting cow
Garrett:interrupting cow who?
Yury:Moo
Garrett:Fucker.
Yury:Oh, you wanna hear
Yury:the best knock-knock joke?
Garrett:Sure.
Yury:You start it.
Garrett:Knock, knock.
Yury:Who's there?
Garrett:Damn dude.
Garrett:I I'm lost.
Yury:Oh boy.
Yury:Well, that's been a week, huh?
Garrett:Yeah,
Garrett:it's been a week.
Garrett:Actually, I think we had
Garrett:enough shenanigans in this
Garrett:episode to cover the two
Garrett:weeks that we went, not
Garrett:releasing an episode, right?
Garrett:I mean,
Yury:There you go.
Garrett:It tracks, right?
Yury:To sum it up,don't
Yury:eate at Five Guys.
Yury:And then,
Garrett:And if you have
Garrett:a sinkhole in front of
Garrett:your house, fill it with
Garrett:water and the city will
Garrett:eventually come fix it,
Yury:throw a party.
Yury:Okay.
Garrett:Well, thanks.
Garrett:Dumberellas, for hanging out
Garrett:with us again this week and,
Garrett:uh, we'll work to get a more
Garrett:consistent release schedule.
Garrett:Thanks a lot loyal
Garrett:Dumberella for that message.
Garrett:Well, thanks again for hanging
Garrett:out with us this week and.
Garrett:Yeah, don't forget.
Garrett:Reach out, connect
Garrett:with us on the social
Garrett:medias @ThisWeekIsDumb
Garrett:on basically anything.
Garrett:If there's a social media
Garrett:@ThisWeekIsDumb, will
Garrett:get you connected to us.
Garrett:TikTok, Instagram,
Garrett:Facebook, Twitter.
Garrett:Although I don't
Garrett:think I've ever posted
Garrett:anything on Twitter.
Garrett:Cause I don't really use
Garrett:Twitter, but it's worth there.
Garrett:Right?
Yury:We don't,
Yury:we don't check it.
Garrett:Or you can call
Garrett:the FANDUMB line at eight,
Garrett:eight, eight FANDUMB
Garrett:8 8, 8 F A N D U M B.
Garrett:Yury, there's like
Garrett:six people that called
Garrett:in the last two days.
Garrett:I got really excited, but
Garrett:none of them left a message.
Garrett:They just listened to
Garrett:the outgoing message and
Garrett:then hang up what the
Garrett:hell's going on with that.
Yury:It might be my
Yury:vehicle, uh, the warranty,
Yury:apparently there's
Yury:something going on with it.
Garrett:We're calling to
Garrett:let you know your vehicle
Garrett:warranty may have expired.
Garrett:Please press one to
Garrett:speak to a counselor now.
Garrett:Well, I think on that
Garrett:note, uh, we'll say goodbye
Garrett:for this week and, uh,
Garrett:we'll see you next time.
Yury:Till next week.