This week Garrett and Yury discuss a bank error in someone's favor (it's like real life monopoly), the best and worst burger joints in town and a new type of cocaine for all the vegans out there. Stick around to the end where you will learn how to tell the world's best knock knock joke!

Call the FAN-DUMB line (888) FAN-DUMB and connect with us on all the social media platforms @ThisWeekIsDumb

It's time for the

this week is dumb podcast.

A chance for you to

disconnect from reality

for a bit and hear about

some of the dumb things

that we found this week.

Now, here are your

hosts, Garrett and Yury

Hi everybody.

Welcome into

episode number 18.

God, I think it's

episode number 18.

I'll have to double check that

maybe it's not episode 18.

So I dunno.

I think it's

episode number 18,

Also known as

season two episode two,

Season

two episode two.

Yeah, absolutely.

It's coming

. Yury: The return

of the Jedi's.

I don't know.

Did you become

a Jedi overnight?

I don't even

know what a Jedi is.

I'm not a star wars fan.

Oh my God, dude.

Have you ever

eaten at Five Guys?

Oh God,

I love Five Guys.

Haven't been there

in a while though.

Okay.

First of all, we can't

be friends because their

food is disgusting.

Their

fries are delicious.

It's been years since

I've gone to Five Guys and

we went to lunch and we

couldn't decide where to go.

And it was one of those

things where he went to like

a strip mall and there's

like three different places.

There's like a Chipotle,

Five Guys, and then

some other place.

So I said, you know, I haven't

been Five Guys in a while.

Uh, I'm gonna try Five Guys.

Okay.

Go up to the counter

order, just a plain

cheeseburger, plain, just

a regular cheeseburger.

We're not talking

like, well, hold on.

We're not talking like

bacon or like adding onion

rings or whatever, fancy

things that they have.

Burgers, uh, just a

plain cheeseburger.

Okay.

An order of

fries and a drink.

Were they Cajun

fries or regular fries?

Regular fries.

I wasn't even aware that

they had cajun option.

Oh, they're delicious

So burger, excuse

me, cheeseburger, regular

fries, soft drink.

Which in any normal

establishment would

be considered some

type of a combo meal.

Okay.

That's fair.

Five Guys does

not do combo meals.

Yep.

Unless I'm just in,

unless I'm an idiot and I

just didn't see the numbers.

You're not an idiot.

You have to buy

everything separate.

That's the way they do it.

Cheeseburger fries

drink I'm at the counter.

There's people behind me.

The guy gives me the total.

It's like $19.74 or something.

And I thought I misheard

him and I said, I'm

sorry, what was it?

He said, "$19.74".

I already had my

credit card in my hand.

And at that point you're

kind of committed, like

Yeah, you're committed.

You're not going to like

back out of it at that point.

And I remember

I swipe my card.

I'm like kind of dazed

like somebody punched

me in the head and.

I remember he asked

me, he said, do you

want your receipt?

I said, oh fucking 100%.

I want my receipt,

cause clearly an

error has been made.

So he hands me the receipt

and I'm reviewing it like

the FBI reviews documents.

Uh, I'm looking at the

paperwork and by paperwork,

I just mean receipt

The

receipt, yeah got it.

And uh, I

found an error.

Do you know what

the error was?

I chose to eat at

Five Guys that day.

I was going

to say, Hey, you chose

to eat there at all.

So yeah.

$19 for burger

fries and a drink.

So was

it at least good?

No, it was terrible.

It was terrible.

It was disgusting.

Couple of

problems with the way

you ordered your food.

First of all, you ordered

a plain cheeseburger.

That's what my

nine-year-old son orders.

And you know that and

my 18 year old daughter

they order the same food.

They just give me a meat

and cheese and button.

Like, that's all they want.

Well, you can

make that at home.

Dude.

Why would you even

bother to order that?

If you go to a place like Five

Guys or In and Out, you kind

of get all the crap on there.

Dude, like Five Guys has

that list of like 4,000

things you can put on by the

way at no additional cost.

And then it makes it

worth paying $7 for a

burger cause you get.

No, no, there was no

burger on the menu for $7.

They started at $10 started

and the fries were $6.

And the drink was like $15.

I don't remember how much

exactly the drink was.

What Five

Guys were you at?

Were you at like

Disneyland or something?

I don't know.

It was an expensive

experience at best.

Uh, but it was

an experience though.

Wasn't it?

I mean, I suppose

for two $19 for a

goddamn cheeseburger,

You don't like

Five Guys, next you're

going to tell me you

don't likeIn and Out?

Well, first of all,

who doesn't like In and Out?

Okay.

Thank you.

And also I recently

had lunch at In and Out.

Burger fries drink $7.

Totally, 100%.

There's literally an

In and Out around the

corner from my house.

And it's one of the cheapest

places that I can go and

it's got such good food.

The problem is when

I go there, I don't

just eat the burger.

I can get like a

three by three.

Protein style.

So it's lettuce wrapped, but

then I get it animal style.

So it's got all the

grilled onions and

all the sauces on it.

And lots of pickles.

Dude, I'm so hungry, my

mouth is watering right now.

I'm going to have to pause

the podcast for a minute

and get some In and Out!

First of all, everything

you just explained, it's like

ordering a salad, but putting

nine pounds of cheese and like

ranch on it, Do you order, a

small diet Coke with that too?

I don't understand

what the problem is.

That's exactly what it is.

And it's not a small, it's

not a small Diet Coke.

It's the large Diet Coke.

If you're going to

go that far, why are we

getting it, protein style?

Why are we not just

eating the bread?

Is the bread.

What pushes it over?

That is exactly

what pushes over my, my

carb limit for the day, man,

all the rest of that stuff.

I'm good.

But man, you put

that bread on there.

No dude, if you've never tried

it protein style, don't knock

it because I'm going to tell

you right now, I don't even

feel like I'm missing the.

The only time I missed

the bun is if I'm drunk.

I would never even

think about removing the

bun from the equation.

You know, it's been,

uh, uh, well, it's been what,

two weeks, I think since

we've, since we chatted, since

we had an episode come out

Two weeks.

And it's been a long

two weeks, like, have you

noticed it's been a long two

weeks or maybe it's just me.

I just feel like the

world's kind of gone to

shit in the last two weeks.

I was, uh, I was reading

through the Interwebs and I,

I stumbled upon an article

from Kansas city, Missouri.

If you have, a massive

sinkhole that opened up in

front of your house, right.

Just, you know, the

street opens up.

It sucks the life out

of everything around

it, cars falling in it.

Just a big sinkhole.

Yeah.

What would you do

to get that fixed?

Go to home Depot.

This guy reached out

to the city and said, Hey,

sinkhole in front of my house.

Get your ass out here.

And the city said,

yeah, we'll get to it.

Well, he got tired of waiting,

so he decides, you know

what, I'm just going to throw

a party in the sinkhole.

So he fills the sinkhole

with water and puts a bunch

of pool chairs around it.

And everybody's coming,

sits down and has a pool

party in the sinkhole.

Just take a bunch

of pictures and tag

the city on Instagram

That's

exactly what he did.

And guess what the city did.

They cited him

for a loud music.

Did you

read this article?

Yeah, I have

it in front of me.

That's

exactly what happened.

That's hysterical.

No, I'm just kidding.

That's not what happened.

They fixed it.

All right.

I got one more.

I've got one more.

I got one more.

And then you could go into

whatever you're going to say.

I don't even know how

to position this one.

Cocaine,

the epic opener

for any conversation.

Okay.

Right.

It's it's drugs.

Drugs are bad.

Drugs are bad.

This is an article I

found talking about,

and this is the tagline

for the article, right?

The rise of woke Coke,

drug dealers, targeting

middle-class users with

ethically sourced cocaine

for 200 pounds, a gram

to suit their vegan

and organic lifestyle.

Well, I mean, if you're

going to be a cokehead,

you want to keep the

environment in mind, right?

Do you think

that's really, what's going

through people's minds

as they're doing coke?

Is there a way to

ethically source cocaine?

Uh, according to

theirs, isn't

cocaine by default.

I don't know.

I don't even know what's

in cocaine, to be honest.

Okay.

For any vegan coke heads out

there, if you can call them

this message, call the fan

dumb the line and let us know

888 - F A N D U M B

let us know what that means.

By the way.

We're not promoting

the use of cocaine.

Oh God.

No.

Unless it's

vegan cocaine.

It has to be woke.

It has to be woke coke.

What a great

marketing strategy.

Exactly.

All right, I'm done.

Don't do cocaine.

Don't do drugs

Drugs are bad

kids drugs are bad!

All right.

Well, it's another week for

fill in the dumb, my favorite

portion of the podcast,

because who doesn't like

useless headline trivia?

Or making me feel

like a complete loser.

Cause I never can

get an answer right?

Nah, that's just

cherry on the top.

Uh, Garrett, as you know, I

shouldn't have to explain it

to you, but you never know.

We might have new listeners

jumping in on the, uh,

this week is dumb train.

Later on.

We don't have

new listeners, Yury.

You can just stop right there.

Once again.

Hi mom.

I'm going to read you

actual news headlines.

I pulled these from the news.

I'm going to read

the news headlines.

I'll leave one word blank.

I'll give you three

possible answers.

One is correct two

are incorrect using

process of elimination.

You can figure out

which one makes sense.

Can I though?

All right, for your

first question, a Louisiana

couple was shocked after

the bank mistakenly blank

and your possible answers

are foreclosed on their

house, deposited $50

billion into their account.

I'm sorry.

Was that 50 billion

or 50 million?

50 billion

billion with a B right.

Or opened up a credit account

in their dog's name again,

Louisiana, couple shocked

after the bank mistakenly

foreclosed on their house,

accidentally deposited $50

billion into their account,

or opened up a credit card

account in their dogs name.

Starting with you, Garrett,

since you're the only one.

All right.

For our one listener that

we still have after all this

time, it was really funny to

watch Yury give these, uh,

possible answers because you

know, it's going to be good

when he's laughing before he

even says the possible answer.

Uh, so I'm gonna rule out

deposited 50 billion in

their account right away,

cause it's Louisiana,

nobody has $50 billion.

Do they?

I don't think they do.

Foreclosed on their house.

That that could be it,

but I don't know that that

would make for a really

good story for our podcast

or opening a credit account

in their dog's name.

See, that sounds a

little bit more like

something I would expect

to come out of Louisiana.

So I think the bank mistakenly

opened a credit account

in their dog's name, and

then they got the bill

and there was a bunch of

charges from chewy.com.

Well in Louisiana a

husband and wife were left

stunned this month after

they discovered $50 billion

had been accidentally

deposited into their account.

No way!

$50 billion.

He said he came though, the

husband says he came home,

a wife showed him the, uh,

deposit statement and he was

basically like, what the fuck?

Where did that come from?

Uh, this was Chase bank

and I guess Chase did

finally correct the

error four days later.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

But if Chase mistakenly

deposits $50 billion

into my account.

I'm going to go

withdrawal that money.

Like I'm going to go into the

branch and be like, hi, I'm

here to close out my accounts.

Yes.

I need cash now, please.

Yeah, it says in

Chase's official statement.

We had a technical

glitch over the week.

That is not

a glitch, not a glitch

that is a Royal fuck up.

And somebody's getting

fired over that one.

Does Chase even

have $50 billion.

How much money could that

one bank possibly have?

What is money anyway?

I mean, like when you put

money in, oh, this is going

to get super philosophical.

When you put money in the

bank, does it actually stay in

the bank or does it go to some

reserve vault somewhere and

they have money in quotes, but

it's not really, I don't know,

dude, it's a rabbit hole.

I can totally get lost this.

And by the way, I really

wish it had been the

dog because chewy.com

has some amazing stuff.

And I buy all my dogs

supplies through there.

So chewy.com please

sponsor the podcast.

Okay.

I didn't even realize a

glitch like this was possible.

Um, but I do plan on going

and opening up several

accounts at chase, uh,

just to play the odds

I'm in!

Oh, I'm in dude, let's go.

I'll put like a dollar in each

account and just sit there and

watch it and see if it grows.

Just wait for it man

Okay, in Dubai.

What happened in Dubai?

Something happened in Dubai.

Oh my God.

You're so prepared

for tonight.

Uh, in Dubai, I've

been to Dubai actually.

Have you really?

Yeah.

Gorgeous city.

Stupid, super expensive.

Yeah.

Very hot, very hot.

Uh, but actually the headline

it's so hot in Dubai that the

government is creating blank

and your possible answers are

outdoor air conditioned

neighborhoods, laws keeping

you from going outside

or artificial rainstorms.

All right.

So Dubai really hot, you know?

Okay.

So the government is

creating either outdoor air

conditioned neighborhoods.

Okay.

That's cool.

Like, if you can

create an outdoor air

conditioned neighborhood.

Yeah.

That's kind of cool.

I mean, that would be

amazing, but it was

not even intentional.

I mean, if anybody

has the money to do it,

it's a Dubai because

they bank with Chase.

Right.

But the problem with an

outdoor air conditioned

neighborhood is all the

dads are going to be running

around constantly resetting

the thermostat because you're

letting all the fucking

cold air out of the house.

Wouldn't it be, you're

letting all the cold air in?

It's outside.

It's good, I'm glad you're

coming with me on this one.

Yes.

And uh, okay, anyway, uh,

laws keeping you from going

outside that one sounds a

little bit too realistic

or artificial rain storms.

You know what dude?

I think I got it.

No, I think it's the

artificial rainstorms, because

who doesn't like a nice,

refreshing drenching of water

when it's 170 degrees outside.

So I'm going to lock in

with artificial rainstorms.

And I think I'm finally right.

I'm actually

proud of you.

It is artificial rainstorms.

Yes.

But let me explain to

you what they're doing.

They're sending drones

into the sky and they are

zapping the atmosphere with

electrical waves, which is.

Creating rain storms.

Tell me

you're kidding.

Right?

No, I'm not kidding.

It's 100%.

It says, uh, uh, scientists in

the UAE United Arab Emirates

is making it rain artificially

using electrical charges

from drones to manipulate the

weather and force rainfall

across the desert nation.

A meteorology,

meteorology meaty.

meterological

Say that

three times fast.

Couldn't even

say at one time slow,

oh my God.

Those people release

video footage this week

showing a downpour and the

new method of cloud seeding

is what they're calling.

It shows, promise, and

helping to mitigate

drought conditions.

Wow.

That's awesome that

they can do that.

I would love to

buy a DJI drone that just

shoots electrical waves.

That'd be really fun.

So, um, I'm

a little bit confused.

So are the clouds already

there and they're just

zapping them or are

they creating clouds?

And then zapping?

It says, according to

research from the university

of Redding in the UK or

Reading UK scientists created

the storms using drones, which

hit clouds with electricity,

creating large raindrops,

a larger rain drops are

essential in the hot country,

blah, blah, blah, obviously,

uh, I, you

know what the best

part about that story?

You just

got another point?

I got a point

that is exactly right.

I'm proud of you, man.

I'm proud of you.

For your third and

final question.

Emergency crews accidentally

rescued a blank, basically,

assuming it was someone

who drowned emergency crews

accidentally rescued a

statue, sex doll, or a wig.

Oh, I can't,

I just can't do it.

Um,

Oh, you can,

and you should.

There's a lot of

pressure on this one, man.

If I actually get this

question right, I'm going

to have two out of the three

points, which I think we

would qualify as a win for me.

Right?

I mean, sure.

Okay.

So emergency crews

accidentally rescued a blank.

So based on the three

guesses, you've heard,

the three answers possible

answers you gave me, I'm

going to guess that they

were rescuing somebody from

like a house, like a fire

in a house or something.

They were rescuing someone.

So a statue again, does

that really make anything

interesting for the podcast?

Probably not.

A sex doll, now we're getting

into interesting terriorty,

although that's a little

bit dark, even for us.

I think.

Or a Wig.

So I think I'm going to

go with wig on this one

because there is nothing

like a good wig getting

rescued from a fire.

So you're

going with wig?

I'm going with wig.

All right.

Well, a team of

emergency rescue divers

Wait you didn't

say they were rescue divers.

Hold on.

Now that changes everything.

Okay, go ahead.

Do you want to

change your answer?

It doesn't

really change anything.

I don't know.

Go ahead.

Yeah, basically a team

of emergency rescue divers

what does flummoxed

F L U M M O X E D.

That's a word.

That's not a word.

Flummoxed

Bewildered

or perplexed.

Oh, man.

Look at them using English.

All right.

Well, at team of emergency

rescue divers were

bewildered or perplexed

after responding to the

scene of a nude drowning

woman only to discover that

it was actually a floating

life sized sex doll.

Oh my God.

Damn it.

They issued an SOS.

Save our Sex Doll.

Uh, boy.

Oh, wait a minute.

That's just embarrassing

for everybody.

Why is

it embarrassing?

I mean, they thought

they were saving a

person who was drowning.

I mean, good for them for,

Dude, have you seen

the videos where people

like marry sex dolls and,

oh my God.

It's like a thing right now.

That's right, yeah.

It's a thing

It's not a thing for

me, thank you very much, but

Hey, you know what, whatever,

whatever makes you happy.

It's, it's, it's

unclear how the blow up

doll ended up in the water.

Are they

going to run DNA?

Cause there's probably

DNA all over them.

Yeah, I got a point.

Does that mean

I win this week?

I'm going to say,

because we didn't have

a guest host and you

did get one, right?

I will declare you the winner

for this week episode 18

season two, episode two.

I'm trying to make that

as confusing as possible.

The game's over my

friend, you won!

I have a, a dummy of the week.

You do?

Well, let's do your

dummy of the week.

It's time for

the dummy of the week.

Who will it be?

Let's find out.

Well, Garrett,

this week's dummy of the

week comes to you out

of Southern California.

Ooh,

that's where we are.

It is from a

company called Five

Guys for charging $19.

Hold on, hold on.

The dummy of the week isn't

Five Guys for charging $19.

The dummy of the week is

you for going to Five Guys

Dummy of the week

is me for paying $19.

Oh, tell

me you're serious.

And that's really what

you're using for the

dummy of the week.

Dummy of the week

is me for paying $19 for

a cheeseburger, fries and

a god damn drink for fuck's

sake, put a mask on and

point a gun at me, cause

that's what it felt like.

Will you be going to

Five Guys again anytime soon?

No.

And by the way,

Five Guys, if you'd like to

sponsor our podcast, please

feel free to reach out to us.

You know, they

originally called

themselves one guy, but

they couldn't afford it.

They had to get four

of their friends.

Oh, my God dude.

So the dummy of the week

in our last episode was

us together because we

hadn't put out an episode.

Dummy of the week,

this week is you?

Because you ate at Five Guys?

It's been

a bad month, man.

It's been a bad month.

Hey man.

Here's hoping things get

better for you in August.

That's all I'll say.

Knocks on wood.

Socks on wood?

Knock.

Oh, you doing

a little foley there?

I didn't want

to say knock, knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow

interrupting cow who?

Moo

Fucker.

Oh, you wanna hear

the best knock-knock joke?

Sure.

You start it.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Damn dude.

I I'm lost.

Oh boy.

Well, that's been a week, huh?

Yeah,

it's been a week.

Actually, I think we had

enough shenanigans in this

episode to cover the two

weeks that we went, not

releasing an episode, right?

I mean,

There you go.

It tracks, right?

To sum it up,don't

eate at Five Guys.

And then,

And if you have

a sinkhole in front of

your house, fill it with

water and the city will

eventually come fix it,

throw a party.

Okay.

Well, thanks.

Dumberellas, for hanging out

with us again this week and,

uh, we'll work to get a more

consistent release schedule.

Thanks a lot loyal

Dumberella for that message.

Well, thanks again for hanging

out with us this week and.

Yeah, don't forget.

Reach out, connect

with us on the social

medias @ThisWeekIsDumb

on basically anything.

If there's a social media

@ThisWeekIsDumb, will

get you connected to us.

TikTok, Instagram,

Facebook, Twitter.

Although I don't

think I've ever posted

anything on Twitter.

Cause I don't really use

Twitter, but it's worth there.

Right?

We don't,

we don't check it.

Or you can call

the FANDUMB line at eight,

eight, eight FANDUMB

8 8, 8 F A N D U M B.

Yury, there's like

six people that called

in the last two days.

I got really excited, but

none of them left a message.

They just listened to

the outgoing message and

then hang up what the

hell's going on with that.

It might be my

vehicle, uh, the warranty,

apparently there's

something going on with it.

We're calling to

let you know your vehicle

warranty may have expired.

Please press one to

speak to a counselor now.

Well, I think on that

note, uh, we'll say goodbye

for this week and, uh,

we'll see you next time.

Till next week.